Clown (Emeli Sande)

We got to the park around 11 a.m. Beth was on Jake's shoulders, talking animatedly about what rides she wanted to get on first and how she hoped her new Papa would get on them with her.

It's not often that you see Noah blush, but it was a welcome sight to see him smiling with zero stress.

The plan was to meet at the pavilion and greet our guests, and then we would break up into teams so Beth could spend a little time with everyone. I had the first shift, followed by Vincent and Lydia, some aunt I had never heard of, my mother, and finally, Noah. After that, whoever wanted to join in with Beth would be welcome.

We had just barely made it to the pavilion when Beth started squealing.

"Mama Q, that one. Look, the line is short! Come on!" She tapped Jake on the head, and he let her down onto the ground. She took off when he released her, and I glared at him.

Noah punched his arm, and I felt slightly satisfied. I ran off behind my excitable daughter. What she wants, she gets, especially today.

I didn't anticipate the jerking rides and the hell they would wreak on my back, so when I handed Beth off to Vincent and Lydia, I first sought a shady bench to sit on. I had yet to see anyone I knew, so it was great that I could do that while sitting.

From the looks of it, there was nobody to see. It was still early enough for the lines not to be long, so they were all off having fun; it was just the aunt I had never met. She looked like she was about ninety and asleep. If Beth wore me out, I knew that this woman wouldn't last very long, with Beth wanting to get on rides twice.

"Hey Q!" I turned way too fast and felt a twinge in my back when I turned around to see Brittany coming my way with a huge box wrapped in pink, wearing her Cheerio uniform.

I stood up despite the aches and plastered a smile on my face. This was a good enough time to bury the hatchet.

"Hey, Brittany! I'm glad you could make it." I opened my arm for a sideways hug that she reciprocated before pulling away. "The gift table is over there, and the wristbands are..." I searched the table for the manila envelope with the bands and found them hidden underneath the plates and forks.

"They wouldn't let me take Beth's gift on the plane, so I had to buy something once I got here. Sorry, I'm late." She said sweetly. Even that didn't clue me into her being sinister.

Ridiculously optimistic. I peeled a wristband from the folder and gestured for Britt to hold out her hand. She looked at me for a long moment, smiled, and then held out her hand.

"I'm pretty excited. It's been a while since I've been to one of these parks. Not since our senior ditch day."

"Right. I missed that." I muttered, remembering how much it sucked to be in a wheelchair and having to skip ditch day.

"That's right, you did!" She smirked as I finished putting on the bracelet. Then she looked around, her eyes glazing over the unidentifiable Aunt and turned back to me.

"So San is usually my partner on rides. Since she's not here..." She stuck out her lip a little.

God help me for not saying no.

"Of course. Where do you want to go first?"

"There was a sign for a splash ride; I could definitely use that; I'm already sweating. I forgot how hot this uniform can get."

"Did you wear that for Beth?"

"I thought she would like it."

"She will."

"Great. Come on, let's get moving."

After three rides, I was surprised at how much fun Brittany was. Thankfully, she seemed aware of my pain and didn't suggest anything super intense.

She was beginning to grow on me, and I almost didn't miss Santana.

"So, have you talked to Santana since our crazy phone call?" She asked when we were on the Ferris Wheel, making our way to the top. A yellow flag went up, but I tried to mentally bat it away.

"No. I called a few times, but she sent me to voicemail. I guess she's pretty upset with me calling you in the first place and upsetting you. I'm sorry for that, by the way. It wasn't my place to interfere."

She sat across from me, holding onto the bunny she had won for Beth.

"It's fine. We worked it out." She smiled to herself as she peered off the Ferris Wheel. For a moment, I think she contemplated pushing me off, but that would be cruel, and while she's manipulative, I didn't think Brittany could be that cruel.

I, of course, was an idiot and should have known better.

The ride climbed higher. We were halfway to the top, and Brittany had been quietly sitting there, staring over the side with the bunny next to her as she sat there looking just as normal as always, but it was just a part of her game.

"I'm glad you worked it out." I said, finally unable to stand her being so still.

"Are you?" She finally turned to look at me, fire in her eyes where calm had once been.

"What?" I was still in my world of bliss, so her question caught me off guard.

"Are you happy that we worked things out?"

"Of course I am. Marriage is a big deal, and she loves you enough to have married you. She should honor that."

"I'm glad you agree with that."

"I do." I said, feeling a little more confident. I added, "In fact, if the tables were turned, she wouldn't want you to be pining after someone else. So she must realize that it's give and take in a marriage and play the game she signed up for."

She shook her head at me and smiled.

"I don't know what you just said, but I do know that we are way too uneven right now for things to work." Now, I was the confused one.

We crept higher, finally stopping at the top of the Ferris Wheel. From up here, I could see all of Texas, which alone was terrifying.

"What do you mean?" I asked absently, my eyes still focused on the horizon behind her head.

And that's when she got up, and my stomach churned.

Her movements were quick, considering she had to move around the circular handle that kept us from tipping off the ride. She was by my side in seconds, and the weight of us both on one side tilted the carriage just enough to make me feel like I was going to fall headfirst out of it and plummet to my death.

"Brittany! What are you doing?" I hissed, ready to scream and call attention to the attendant, but she had her hand over my mouth before I could make another sound.

I felt sick as she climbed over my hips and leaned closer so our heads were side by side. My hands clung to the hard shell of her top as tears began to pool around my eyes.

"Did you know that Santana is the only bottom in our trinity? If you had asked back then, we could've been a throuple. I would have had more time to train you."

She dropped her hand and put her finger to her lips.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I yelled at her, and she plucked my forehead.

"Don't curse at me. Shut up, or people will hear you."

"That's the fucking point!" I snapped, and she glared.

"What a bad little slut you are, Q. Don't worry, I know how to put you in your place."

I was filled with dread as she gripped my hair in her fist and covered my mouth again.

Oh God, have mercy!

"I told her she had to choose between us, and it looks like I'm winning. Now, I'm pretty flexible, and I don't want to die today, so if I let go of your mouth, will you promise not to scream?" She sat up and looked me in the eyes, her knees on either side of my hips, putting pressure on them. My back ached even more, but I didn't want to make things worse. So I nodded and felt relieved when she moved her hand from my mouth. "Good. You CAN follow directions."

"Britt, what are you doing?" I asked, trying my best to ignore the tears on my face.

"I'm taking control of the situation. I need you to know that I'm in charge."

"Oh, Yeah?" I raised my eyebrow and almost immediately lost my breath as she landed a punch against my side. I looked up at her in shock, and she smiled sweetly.

"Yeah."

"Britt, please. Just stop this, and after today, you won't hear from me. Please?"

She laughed and then leaned in again, her lips grazing my neck as her hands ran down my sides, gripping me tightly as she pulled my dress up to rest around my waist, leaving me feeling exposed. My heart began to race but for all the wrong reasons. This wasn't right; she'd lost her mind at some point, and I would suffer for it.

The Ferris Wheel began to move, bringing us down one notch. I slammed my eyes closed as bile rolled in my stomach.

"I have always hated you so much. It used to be just me and her," She said before sinking her teeth into my earlobe, nibbling just enough to cause a sting. I shivered, and she seemed to take this as some approval as she shifted; her knee was suddenly between my thighs.

I groaned as she began grinding her knee against the most private part of me. I felt betrayed by my stupid body that had been craving to be touched like this for way too long. This touch, though, was not anywhere close to what I wanted.

"Britt, please, stop." I whimpered, but she just brought one of her hands up and pressed her fingers against my throat, pressing just enough for me to lose oxygen. I was gasping for air as panic began to take over, but she paid no notice.

"Santana likes this game, and I figured you might too...my knee is soaked. I knew you'd be a whore for anyone, a good little slut. I can see now that this was never about how you feel about her. You don't love her; you love what she can make you feel. Well, now you know," She kept one hand around my throat and plunged her free hand into my hair, pulling my lips against hers. "Anyone can make you feel like that, even me." She murmured before kissing me hard.

I clung to her, trying my best to push her away, all while I tried to breathe past her machinations. I had stopped exercising after my accident, but she kept training and getting stronger. I felt so weak, so much at her mercy, and all it would take was a scream to alert someone, but I couldn't even if I tried.

Tears were dripping off of my face now as I scratched at the hard shell, trying to claw her off of me. She chuckled and kissed me again.

The Ferris Wheel was moving again. I wasn't sure how long it had been, but the people on the ground were getting louder, and the popping in my head was a close second.

Stars burst behind my eyelids as an orgasm hit me, and she released her fingers. I felt limp as I gasped for air, and she pulled back. I didn't dare open my eyes, too ashamed to even look at her. I could feel the wetness of my orgasm, sticky between my thighs and brought shaky hands to my face and tried to block her out.

"Get...get off me." I begged, and this time she listened to me. The Ferris Wheel moved down even further, and I could hear the attendant talking to people getting into a car near us.

I took shallow breaths as the warmth of her body left mine. Her fingers brushed through my hair, and I didn't fight as she tried to make me look normal again. Next, she fixed my dress, pushed my hands away, and brushed her thumbs under my eyes.

"You get it now that I'm in charge?" She whispered sweetly, and I nodded, still not daring to look at her.

"I get it." I uttered, badly needing to get out of that carriage and away from the psycho who had married my best friend.

The carriage moved one last time, and we docked. The attendant opened the gate, said something I could barely hear, and then stood to get off. Brittany pushed in front of me, once again gripping the Bunny for Beth and strolled off the ride without looking back.

Why would she? She'd proven her point and left me feeling violated, hurt, and ice cold in the June heat.

I had no time to recover; I had to rebound and compartmentalize even if I was aching and tired. I ran towards the first bathroom I could find and hurled up the birthday waffles. I stared blankly into the toilet, feeling used and dirty. How could she do this to me? To Santana? Had it been premeditated?

Did I provoke her?

A timer went off on my watch, and I realized that we had been gone longer than we were supposed to, and it was almost time for cake and presents. I could deal with the emotions that were weighing me down later. I had to be present for my daughter. My own fragile emotions could wait.

I stood in front of the mirror, surrounded by bustling mothers and children, a woman changing her baby, and excited over-sugared kids trying to wash their hands, but I wasn't present.

I wiped my face with a moist paper towel, irritated with the faint red marks on my neck that could be from anything, including the heat, but I knew what they were. I could still feel her fingers zapping my air supply and the panic I felt as I struggled to breathe.

A kid's elbow connected with my side, jarring me back to reality and the renewed beeping on my watch. Beth would want to wait for me, and here I was, being selfish.

I felt so foolish as I made my way back to the pavilion. Some of me thought she would have left as soon as possible, but there she was, with BETH, showing her an old dance routine. I stood just off to the side, watching as everyone laughed. I wanted to wreck everything, to throw myself to the ground and cry. I wanted to kill her, but I just plastered on my old Fabray smile, hiding my tears behind my smile.

There would be time for tears later.

For now, my daughter was officially five, and this was supposed to be the beginning of our lives together. And while Brittany may be able to keep Santana away from me, I wasn't going to let her have control over anything else.

She couldn't break me. I wouldn't let her.

By all was said and done, the party was a complete success. Lydia and Vincent were normal, while I was Beth's same happy Quinn Quinn.

"So, how did you like your party?" I asked Beth as she sat in a bubble bath surrounded by unicorns that had been a gift from Brittany. She smiled at me and nodded.

"It was the best yet, I missed Mama and Meemaw, but I think they would have been happy with it too."

"I think so too, baby."

"So...are you going to hang out with my dad once I go to sleep?" She teased her smile brighter than all the lights in the galaxy.

"I don't think so; I'm feeling pretty tired; I would like more than anything for you to read me a goodnight story once you're done here. How's that sound?"

"Can I read one of the new books you got me?"

"You can read three of them if you want; I want to keep spending this whole day with you. Is that okay?"

She nodded as she made one of the unicorns a bubble beard, smiling.

"That sounds perfect, Mama Q."

"Good."