All I Want For Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey)
December
SANTANA'S POV
"Bendicion, Papi." I practically hummed into the phone when it rang because today was shaping up to be a good day.
"Dios te bendiga. Where are you? Are you busy?"
"Uh...not yet, I'm in a cab. Why, what's up?"
"Your landlord called me and said he was returning my check for next year's rent. I thought we talked about me helping you back onto your feet once Brittany came back to Lima. Didn't we?"
"We did."
"So then, why did he return the check?"
"I paid for half of January because that's all that I'm going to need."
"Did you find another place?"
"Something like that."
"Why are you being coy, Santana? You know I try to deal with absolutes. Are you in trouble?"
"Am I in trouble? No."
"Should I be concerned?"
"Not concerned, no. Look, I've just been holding back from telling you about what's going on until it's all finalized. Because I know how much you like those absolutes."
"Is this bad news? Do I need to come out there? Is Whitney messing with you?"
"No, it's incredibly good news, Papi. You will be ecstatic when I tell you about it."
"I'm not so sure that I believe you."
"Papi, I have to go, I have a meeting that I'm running late for. I'll call you back tonight... you still have your weekly dinner date with Mami today, right?"
He cleared his throat and grunted. He was embarrassed. How cute! Up until I graduated high school, my parents had been trying to keep these dinners a secret...although I should have guessed they were doing something along those lines because it was nearly impossible to play them against each other when I wanted something.
They always seemed to be on the same page when it came to me. It was infuriating.
When I did find out, though, I thought it was sweet that they still do it. A part of me thinks it's because they still love each other.
A girl can hope, right?
"Um...yes."
"Good. I'll call you then. That way, you're together when I tell you the news."
"Just promise me that you aren't getting back with Brittany and that you didn't propose to anyone else!"
"I promise."
"Good."
I slung my bag over my shoulder and followed the directions from the main reception desk until I found the office that I was looking for.
The first thing that stuck out to me was how sleek everything was: the black walls, the silver trim and the three monitors that sat behind the reception desk that were playing a mix of news, weather, and some reality show.
"Good morning. Can I help you, Ma'am?" The receptionist asked me as she gave me a once over. It was one of the first times that I had been called Ma'am in my life, and I was instantly annoyed.
When she smiled, I failed to point out the lipstick on her teeth and tried to remember my new resolve to be nicer.
She was the gatekeeper to what I wanted. I couldn't make enemies so soon.
"Santana Lopez, here to see Carla Benjamin." I said in my most saccharine voice.
"Yes! She's been out here twice to look for you before deciding to take a call. Have a seat, and I'll see if she's done. Can I get you anything, tea, coffee?"
"No, thank you, I'm wired enough as it is." I admitted, and she smiled sweetly in return.
"Great, I'll let Carla know you arrived."
"Thank you."
I waited for her to walk away before sneaking a peek at my phone. I had under two hours before I needed to be somewhere just as important, so hopefully, I wouldn't be too late.
"Santana! It's so good to see you again. How are you?" She said, ignoring my hand and pulling me into a hug.
My God, she even smelled expensive.
I hugged back and then tried to pull away as naturally as possible. Thankfully, she followed suit, and it wasn't awkward.
My boobs were already sweating as the panic was setting in, but I needed to be calm. I knew that I had this in the bag.
Be cool, Lopez.
"I'm great. Frankly, I'm surprised that you remember me with all the craziness the last time you visited your dad."
"Tell me about it! I thought my mom was going to throw my sister-in-law clear across the room! You were smart to cut her off when you did."
"Thanks! I consider it a professional necessity, knowing people's limits before they do."
"Touche, I think you can apply that kind of logic to more than just bartending."
"True."
"My father is lucky to have you. He raves about you so much, and so I was excited to hear that you were interested in our program. When I saw your transcripts, I was floored. Come into my office. Did Angie offer you something to drink?"
She looked at the receptionist, whose head popped up at the mention of her name.
"She did, I'm okay."
"You sure?"
Angie looked nervous, and I smiled to myself, thinking that's what she gets for calling me Ma'am.
Carla seemed just as nice as Carlo always said she was, but if she was anything like her father, her temper was just as wicked.
"Definitely." I said, not wanting any more enemies in my life.
"Oh God, Angie, relax, will you. Santana's VIP, I wanted to make sure you were on your toes."
"No need for special treatment, really. I'm okay." I stressed, and Carla let out a chuckle and patted me on the back.
"Alright then, let's see about your future then! I need you to explain to me why on Earth you dropped out of Louisville with a perfect GPA?"
"Because I was destined to be here, of course." I schmoozed, and she grinned.
Things were definitely looking up.
By the time I left Carla's office, there was nothing that could bring me down, not even Whitney calling from a blocked number almost as soon as I turned my ringer back on.
"Hello?"
"Santana! Why have you been ignoring my calls?!"
"What calls? You haven't so much as texted since you left New York." I said as I made my way to the curb and lifted a hand for the next cab.
"Sure I have!"
She wanted to pick a fight, but today, I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.
"How can I help you, Whitney?" I asked as I climbed into the cab. I pressed the phone to my chest and leaned forward, "21st and Pine."
Whitney was finishing up a long explanation when I put the phone back to my ear that I knew was leading to her demanding more money, but still...I wasn't the least bit annoyed.
I zoned out as I did a mental run-through of everything I needed to get done in the next few weeks when I heard Whitney ask for more money.
"...so that's why I need you to pay us five thousand dollars." She finished, and I just put my head back and closed my eyes as the cab moved towards my destination.
"Brittany signed the divorce papers, they've been filed and the alimony we agreed on was clear. I had to pay $300 a month for the first year. My father gave you a check for the whole amount on the same day that she signed those papers. You cashed it two weeks ago. I don't need to give you another cent. My debt to Brittany is paid in full."
"I can take you to court!" She screeched.
"I'll wait for my summons. Merry Christmas, Whitney." I said before ending the call without a second thought.
Like I said, nothing was going to ruin today for me.
It was just after six when the cab pulled to a stop on the corner of 21st and Pine. I thanked the cab driver and paid him extra just for getting me here quickly. It was the Christmas season. After all, I'm sure he could use the extra cash.
The sun had just gone down, and from what I could tell, my timing was perfect. I brushed my fingers through my hair and straightened out my jacket before making my way towards Quinn's new place.
Tomorrow, Quinn and Beth were supposed to be heading to New York, and I was there to surprise them as an escort to the city.
Hey Q, wyd?-Santana
I took a moment to appreciate the townhouse she was living in now, happy that it was actually a bit balmy out because otherwise, it would be ridiculous to wait for a message back.
Figuring out dinner...any ideas? :/-Quinn
How about you two just go out with me?-Santana
Huh?-Quinn
I couldn't help smiling to myself when I knocked on the door. I heard shuffling steps, and then the blinds shifted. A little face peaked from behind them, and then an identical version hovered above it.
Shock registered on Quinn's face, and then a huge grin soon followed.
"Who's that?" I could see Beth asking.
"Santana." Quinn responded, and then there was a rush of footsteps to the door.
QUINN'S POV
I'd had the worst day. A client whom I had been observing with my professor had committed suicide this morning, and then one of the kids that I was mentoring got arrested. I was so distracted and distraught that I was late dropping off Beth for school, and then again, I was late picking her up.
What made things worse was that Beth was the ONLY kid in her class without a gift for her teacher.
I was justifiably overwhelmed, and dinner was just one more thing that I couldn't seem to get right.
Despite it all, I'd been trying to keep my spirits up and keep Beth from seeing just how shaken up I was feeling, and that's when Santana texted me.
And now, when I feel like I want to rip my hair from my head, she shows up with a huge grin, and my troubles feel a little more manageable.
"What are you doing here?" Beth asked before I could.
"Hi, Beth. I'm-"
"Santana, I know. We were coming to see you in New York. What are you doing here?" Beth asked again. "Are we not going?" She looked up at me with a bit of panic before looking back at Santana.
I watched the two of them and how Santana crouched down, so they were at eye level a smile still on her face.
That was a good move on her part.
"Well, I was hoping that I could take you and your Mama Q to dinner tonight and then, later, when you would normally be sleeping and because traffic will be lighter, I got us a limo to ride to the city in style. How's that sound?"
Beth looked at me with a huge grin and then turned back to Santana, a scowl suddenly in place again.
"Can I choose the restaurant?" She asked, her bargaining tone clear and concise, like a true child of mine and Shelby's.
"Of course you can."
"Yes!"
I immediately knew where she wanted to go; it had been something she'd been bugging me about for a week now after a friend told her about it, but I hadn't had the money to take her. Between tuition for both of us and this trip to New York, plus her Christmas gifts, I was tapped out.
And even though I had been trying to keep that tidbit to myself, Santana already knew that.
We stepped out of the cab outside of Max Brenner...a place that encourages you to experience Chocolate with all five senses, and Beth squealed in excitement.
I had been suspicious of the place because I had seen the price list, but Santana wasn't about to deny Beth something on the first day they met.
Who would?
"So this is it? What's so great about it? Looks like any old restaurant," Santana said to me as we headed for the door. Beth was practically a jumping bean as she held tight to my hand and pulled me forward.
"You'll see!" Beth shrieked once the door was pulled open for us. Santana was smiling as she held the door and waited for us to go through.
The smell of chocolate hit me the moment we stepped inside.
"Wow." Santana said as she stood beside me. "This looks impressive, actually."
"Do you see what's so great? This is her going to be her Breadstix and you got to be the first one to bring her here..." I said as a waiter zipped by, rendering me speechless.
"Was that..." Santana began, and I cut her off.
"Chocolate-covered bacon. YES." I practically moaned. "You're paying, right?"
"Yep. Get whatever you want. Take some for the road if you feel like it. Papi stopped cutting me off and feels guilty for doing it in the first place, so with my bills up to date, I can actually afford to splurge a little. He'd definitely approve of me taking you two ladies out, so don't be ashamed to milk it."
"Are you sure?"
She flagged down the hostess and proceeded to ignore my proper etiquette. "Hey, lady, can you seat us?"
A hostess rushed over, looking apologetic, and then led us to a booth.
"Enjoy!"
"Oh, we will." Santana said. "Can you put an order of that chocolate covered bacon in before anything else?"
The hostess hesitated, but then Santana handed her a bill folded up so I couldn't see what it was, and the woman immediately nodded with a smile.
"I'll let your waiter know."
"And the kitchen!" She called after the hostess.
It was very old-school Santana of her.
Can I say that in the four weeks between Thanksgiving and now, she looks absolutely great because she totally does. She's got meat on her bones, her hair is shiny again, and her clothes look like they've been washed recently.
I'm not one to take credit...well, yes...yes, I am. I think maybe I had something to do with this.
I'll just take this meal as a thank you and try not to think about how she is way too old to have her father padding her bank account when I think about her having grown up.
SANTANA'S POV
We had just had the most amazing meal in the world and were now trying to burn off some of the sugar high as we walked through Rittenhouse Square Park. It was nice to be able to enjoy the warm weather in December, no less, in such great company.
"Wasn't it great?" Beth squealed.
"Definitely."
"Can I dance, Mama?" Beth asked when she spotted a drum circle.
"Go for it, Sweets."
We had just stopped to watch Beth dance along to the conga drums when my phone rang.
I saw Papi's picture and suddenly remembered my promise to call him. It was almost ten here, which meant that Papi's dinner with my mother was nearly over.
"We had an entire meal, and you never called." Mami said straightaway, not giving me time to even say a word. "We are way too nosey and uptight for you to keep us waiting like this, Santana."
"Bendicion, Mami, Papi." I said, knowing that the phone was probably sitting on the table between them on speakerphone.
"Dios te bendiga, Tata. So what are you up to, why didn't you call yet? Where are you that there is so much noise at this time of night?"
Quinn was watching me as I moved to the nearest bench and sat down. She glanced towards Beth and pointed towards the bench.
Beth looked over and nodded without missing a step. The kid definitely had some rhythm.
Beth ran in circles in front of the street drummers, who were now collecting more tips. She was hopefully burning off some of that energy she got from that chocolate-infused paradise we had just left.
We were all laughing and smiling. It felt amazing to feel so free.
This kid seemed to contain all the joy that Quinn had always suppressed by both choice and necessity in some cases.
"I'm in Philly visiting Quinn and Beth, I lost track of time. I'm putting you on speaker. Quinn's right next to me."
Mami squealed, and then Papi said something snarky in Spanish that I couldn't quite make out, but I didn't worry about it. He loved Quinn just as much as my mother did.
"Hi, Maribel! Hey Pop!" Quinn said once the phone was on speaker, and then for a solid two minutes, the three of them proselytized on just how good it was that I was getting my act together and taking this thing with Quinn seriously.
I groaned and sighed and sucked my teeth.
Papi finally saw fit to end the tangent after I sighed loudly about sixteen times.
"Okay, okay, obviously Santana has something important to tell us, so hurry up and tell us, Tata, so we can go back to our gossip!" He chuckled.
"I want you all to be the first to know that I'm going back to school here in Philly. I was able to fill the spot of a dropout, ironically. I'll be able to move right into the dorms and everything." Quinn's eyes got wide as she clasped her hands under her chin and looked at me in awe.
My parents were speechless.
"Where?" Q asked, her grin beautiful and excited.
"Drexel."
"That's near my school! I can't wait. If our schedules allow we can probably have lunch every day! Beth is going to be so excited that I have a new friend in town. She says I don't get out enough." Quinn said enthusiastically as she glanced at a still-dancing Beth a few feet from us.
"When will you start, Tata? It must be January if you didn't re-sign the lease. Is this why you are giving up your apartment because you didn't have to do that? Your mother and I wouldn't mind having a place on the East Coast." Papi chimed in.
"Wait, you're giving up that amazing apartment?" Quinn cut back in. "Oh, that's sad."
"I know! I was thinking we should keep it. Places like that don't come a dime a dozen!" Mami added.
"So you think we should keep it then?" Papi said.
"YES!" Quinn and Mami said at the same time.
And then, the three of them discussed the pros and cons of keeping the apartment.
They seemed done with me, so I gave Quinn the phone and walked over to Beth.
I was not going to get annoyed.
Once Beth saw me, she grinned and stopped dancing. The smile on her face was a duplicate of Quinn's, and the way she moved so effortlessly seemed to be something else she had inherited from her mother.
This kid was only five and was already a powerhouse!
"Hey, Kiddo."
"You have angry eyebrows."
"Do I?" I chuckled and tried to fix my expression.
"Is it time to go?" She asked, and I shook my head.
"Not yet, I just wanted to tell someone my news that wasn't going to change the subject, and I can't get Mama Q and my parents to stop talking long enough to tell them everything."
"You can tell me!" She said happily.
"I'm going college next month at Drexel here in Philly. I'm going to be a score producer."
"A score producer? What's that?"
"The people who make the music for movies and tv shows."
"Like for singers or actors?" She asked excitedly.
"Kind of."
"That's great! Will you move in with us? Can I get your autograph?" She asked. I glanced at Quinn, who was watching the conversation with a smirk but still talking to my parents without missing a beat.
"I'm going to live at school, but I will be closer, so we can go back to Chocolate Heaven anytime you want. You won't need my autograph, but you can have it."
"Yeah?!" She shrieked and then threw herself at me, wrapping herself around my legs and squeezing tight. "That's awesome!"
"Yeah, it is."
When she stepped back, she turned back towards the drummer and started dancing again, this time with an even bigger smile.
"Dance with me, Santana. We have to celebrate."
As silly as it seemed, everything just seemed so right at that moment, and so I joined in.
I had never felt so free and happy in my life.
At moments like this, I am usually cautious, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but that was back when I was thinking about how everything I did affect everyone around me because Brittany had urged me to feel EVERYTHING ALL the time.
It got exhausting, and I'm glad that part of my life is mostly over.
For the first time in a long time, I was doing things for myself.
I was deciding what I wanted and going for it because that's what I deserved.
It's what Quinn, my mother, my father, and Sue would do...have done. It's an admirable trait that I want to emulate.
Brittany always urged me to be myself, as if growing outside my box wasn't necessary, but now, without her influence, I was seeing a lot clearer.
The talk I had with Quinn over Thanksgiving helped me see beyond the tip of my nose.
I have now gravitated toward people who have tried to live their best life and led by example, I hope to be the same way.
This is just the beginning.
QUINN'S POV
I can't stop watching her.
At first, I was ready to lay claim to all the credit for getting her out of that slump she was in, but this can't ALL be because of me.
This is a whole new and improved Santana.
It's like she's finally seeing her potential, and the light of that realization is radiating from her pores like a Glowworm.
She seems so content in her skin, and I'm more than grateful for it.
I'm gaga over her, and it seems that I'm not the only one who knows it.
"You like her, like her." Beth said to me as I helped her rearrange her suitcase for the second time.
"Like who, sweets?" I asked her distractedly as I zipped up her suitcase.
Beth bounced on the bed next to the luggage and stared hard at me, her eyebrow raised.
"You look at her like...Papa looks at you."
"How does he look at me?" I asked, shocked that she had noticed anything that Puck was throwing my way back in the summer.
"Like you hung the moon." She said, sounding much wiser than her five years.
"Where did you hear that phrase?" I focused my attention fully on her now.
"Mom always said it."
"Did she?"
"Yes, it means that you love a person so much that it makes your whole heart full." She had a dreamy look in her eyes that made me smile. I wasn't sure if it was because of Shelby or because Beth is endlessly dramatic in that Rachel Berry, The World is My Oyster outlook...maybe a little of both.
I sat beside Beth, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her tight against me. Respecting Shelby was now my default, and this time was no different.
"What else did she say?"
"That I hung the moon, but...that's not totally true. She hung it for me." I heard her sniffle and continued to hold her as she let out a few tears.
This was her first Christmas without Shelby, and it made my heart ache that I couldn't give her the mom she loved, even if it were just for a day.
She let out a deep sigh.
"I know you miss her."
She nodded.
"I'm sorry."
"Oh, sweetheart, you don't have to apologize. She will always be your mom. I don't mind sharing that title with her."
"You don't?" She looked up at me with misty eyes, and I leaned over and kissed her forehead.
"Nope. I picked her for you, so I'm glad you love her so much."
"I do."
"Good. You know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think that we all have someone who hangs the moon for us, but it doesn't mean that we love other people less. I mean, there are always people who hang the stars, too, and there are billions of those, right?."
She looked up at me, a small smile slowly becoming bigger until she got back to her original line of questioning.
"Does Santana hang your moon?" She asks, the smile becoming larger.
"No way. I think Shelby was right, Beth. You definitely hung the moon...right, Quinn?" Santana said from the doorway.
I nodded, surprised to see Santana standing there, her face looking so calm.
"Really?" Beth asked.
Honestly, it made me happy that she was okay not hanging the moon for me. It showed me that she respected Beth's place in my life. Not many people had done that for me.
"Yep, Sweets, it was definitely you."
"Okay, but Santana is important so if I hung your moon, maybe Santana can be the one who put up your sun."
Santana was beaming as she looked from me to Beth. I knew it meant the world to her that my kid was accepting her so openly.
I hope that it never changes.
SANTANA'S POV
"What made you do all of this?" Quinn asked.
We were halfway to New York. Beth was passed out on a seat across from us while Quinn and I sat side by side.
At that moment, our hands were clasped, and our hearts were open.
Who knew I could be so freaking sappy?
"This was my first time meeting Beth since she was a baby, and I wanted to impress her."
"Well, you did...but you should know that you set the bar pretty high." She chuckled, and I nodded in agreement. Anything after this would have to be knock her off her feet amazing.
"I'm game."
"I don't know, Santana, she might just tap out all your resources and I'm not just talking financially. That kid is way smarter and energetic than we both are."
"We'll see about that."
"So...Drexel, huh? I have to know, did you choose Philly because I'm there?"
"You being in Philly made the decision a no-brainer, but I think I would have ended up there regardless. Carlo's daughter is the head of admissions, and when I told him that I wanted to go back to school, he insisted that I apply. When I got accepted for fall, he set up a meeting with his daughter to see if I could get in sooner. I thought, what more of a sign do I need that being here with you is destined for us."
"I don't know...I saw that OTP hat you gave out at your wedding. Didn't you think being with Brittany was destiny, too?"
I shrugged, put an arm over her shoulder, and pulled her against me. Her hair tickled my nose as she rested her head against my shoulder.
"Honestly, Q...I still think I was destined to marry her. If I hadn't and just kept things going with you...I would have always thought about what could have happened to her, but now I know for certain that she and I could NEVER be more than friends. Anyway, I always knew that you and I would end up together, deep, deep down."
"That was a pretty big risk you took then. What if I turned you away instead of letting you into my heart. I have never been the most predictable person."
"If you say so."
She huffed and cuddled closer.
"I do say so...you, though, still have me beat. I had no idea that you wanted to go back to school. I thought you hated college."
"No. I hated that it was chosen for me. There was nothing in Louisville for me."
"And there is in Philly?"
Beth was cuddling her stuffed bunny just across from us with a peaceful expression, and I knew for certain that my face probably mirrored the same sentiment.
This was it...this was the feeling that I THOUGHT I had with Brittany. Nothing else in the world could be as perfect as this feeling.
Nothing that I can imagine that is.
"Absolutely."