Waiting For You (Majid Jordan, Naomi Sharon)

NOVEMBER

QUINN'S POV

Once there was a diagnosis and Antonio had shared the additional information about the methadone, Santana was moved to the ICU, and I wasn't allowed to sit with her any longer.

My two bedroom apartment was overloaded with visitors, with Maribel and Antonio staying with me and Beth.

I had given up my bed and been bunking with Beth for three weeks, which was exciting for her but very difficult for my back.

My first instinct was to forego my health and happiness to focus my attention on Beth, Santana, and Vanessa, who had been told that she was not gaining enough weight to be 27 weeks pregnant.

She was securely in her third trimester, but that didn't mean bad things couldn't happen, but she was being stubborn about it.

At Maribel's insistence, Beth and I visited Vanessa the first weekend in November to better understand the situation.

When we got there, Vanessa's apartment was stale, and there was barely any food in her refrigerator because she insisted that she was never home.

"Mama, is the baby going to be okay?" Beth asked me when she heard Vanessa groan in the middle of the night.

A week before, I had gotten an email from Asha about her wedding being put off until the next summer because the first year of medical school was kicking her ass, and she didn't have time to fly to India.

Asha told me she was doing her program at the University of Maryland, which was only a few miles away from Vanessa. While she was only a first year, I knew that getting her input would work twofold. It would mean that Asha would be on Vanessa's ass, and she'd be willing to help if I needed her.

Asha's parents were both Obstetricians, and she was following in their footsteps. I knew she'd be able to kick Vanessa into action if I couldn't.

Hey, got a minute?-Q

Yes! Just finished my study group. What's up?-Asha

We need an intervention for our second.-Q

What did Vanessa do now?-Asha

Have you seen her?-Q

Not since September.-Asha

I'm at her place, can you come over?-Q

Need me to bring anything?-Asha

No paddling! Maybe some food?-Q

Can do!-Asha

I tucked Beth in around midnight, and she sprawled out on the sofa bed just like she did at home.

Vanessa was sitting in her bedroom watching trashy television while studying, occasionally groaning when she needed to move.

When I poked my head into her room, she looked up at me and slapped on a smile, but I could see right through it.

"I invited someone over, just a heads up."

She looked confused and then sighed.

"Who?"

"Asha."

"Why?" She was glaring at me. "It's late."

"She's bringing food. Are you hungry?"

Another glare. "Maybe."

"Yes or no."

She huffed, "Yes."

"Pizza, okay?"

"That's fine. Why is she coming over, Quinn?"

"You promised me and Santana that you'd be surrounded by nurses who would help you through this."

"I am, but I don't like them. My boyfriend is going to be a doctor. He makes sure I'm okay."

"Is that code for he feeds you before you fuck?"

She grinned, and I rolled my eyes. "Your father would not approve." I scolded, and she groaned.

"Are you going to snitch on me?"

"No."

"Look, obviously, I know I'm not living to your standards. I'm tired, I'm in school, and I'm ready for this parasite to get out of my body."

There was a knock at the front door, and I left her there to answer it.

Asha stood at the door with two guys behind her. I had sent her pics of Vanessa's fridge and her place, and she'd done the rest.

She put down the bags she was carrying and then directed the two guys to the kitchen. "No need to unpack, thanks guys."

They gave her hugs and nodded my way before leaving.

"Who were they?"

"Friends that live close by. Where's Vanessa?"

"Wallowing in her room."

She looked me over with lust in her eyes, and I shook my head, and she sighed. "I know, but I can look. Mind if I go in and talk to her while you put this stuff away?"

"Are you sure?"

"That's your kid she's carrying, so you're going to talk from a place of judgment." When I went to argue, she placed her palm on my cheek and gave me a serious glare.

"Fine."

"Don't worry. I will let you know if there's any cause to worry more than you already are. I wish I had known sooner. I would have checked in regularly."

"Thanks for being here, Asha."

"For you, Shona, anything." She said and then kissed my cheek.

"Gross, aren't both of you in serious relationships?" Vanessa grumbled as she passed us and went into the kitchen. "What is all of this?"

Asha kissed my cheek and then followed after Vanessa. Instead of following, I left them to talk while I went to check on Beth.

Even with all the noise, she was still asleep, thankfully.

Seeing Asha made me miss Santana.

I miss you!-Q

Your location is in Baltimore.-Santana

Visiting Vanessa.-Q

Is she okay?-Santana

She's depressed. I invited Asha over. She lives close by. She'll watch out for V.-Q

I'm raising my eyebrow.-Santana

She's engaged, and I am in love with you, Princess.-Q

I need to come home before anyone else pops up!-Santana

Tell me you weren't wishing you could work out your stress.-Santana

A little, but I didn't act on it.-Q

Thanks for being honest. I'm sorry I'm not there.-Santana

You will be soon. On Monday, you find out if the treatments worked.-Q

Fingers crossed. Getting sleepy. You're still in this, right?-Santana

I'd marry you tomorrow if I could, Princess.-Q

Swooning! See me when you get back.-Santana

Try and stop me! I love you, see you Monday, Princess!-Q

Wanky. Night, Reina. Xoxo-S

"Mama?"

I looked up and saw Beth looking at me with one eye open.

"Yes, Sweets?"

"I smell pizza."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll get you a slice."

"Vanessa says not to eat in here."

"Well, today she's going to have to deal because, I need your little ears to not hear some of the things that come out of her mouth."

"Oh, like when she curses?"

"Among other things."

"Okay, Mama. Can I watch TV?"

"It's Friday night, why not, Sweets? Go for it."

She grinned and jumped off the couch to find the remote.

I left her in the den, grateful it had a door, and headed back to the kitchen just in time to see Vanessa sobbing into Asha's neck.

"I think you should share your concerns with Quinn."

"She'll hate me." She whined.

I pressed a hand to Vanessa's lower back. "Let's go sit at the table."

"Where's the kid?"

"Awake and waiting to eat, she said she can't eat in there." I said to Vanessa, and she shrugged.

"I was being a jerk. I don't mind if she eats in there."

I took Beth pizza and some fruit before joining Asha and Vanessa at the table.

"Talk to me, V."

"I want to know him, Q. I want more than what you had with Shelby. I don't want monthly updates. I want time."

"Okay, we can do that."

"You say that now, but you're not going to want to hand him over to me."

"Not at first, but when he's walking and is actually fun to hang out with, you can have him just like Beth spends time with Vincent, Jake, and Puck's mom. I don't mind."

"Really?" She squeaked.

"Yes. I'm willing to give you access to him however you need. You're giving me an amazing gift, Vanessa. I'm not going to cut you off. You're my sister, I love you, and I care about you. That's why I'm here, that's why I called Asha. You need support."

Asha took her hand and squeezed it. "You should have called me. We are both incredibly busy, but we do have free time in our days. If you're okay with it, maybe I can come and stay with you. I'm bunking with some kids from the program, five of us in a three-bedroom. It's cramped, smelly, and full of sex fiends."

"You'd do that? I won't be pregnant much longer."

"This place is ten minutes from my school. I've lived with you before, and we can help each other study just like old times."

"Would you be willing to split rent?"

"I'm engaged to a millionaire. Name your price, and she'll pay it."

"Shit, okay, that den isn't listed as a room because it doesn't have a closet, but we could get you a dresser or something."

"Excellent. When can I move in?"

"Now, tomorrow, whenever."

"And you'll let me help you?"

"I already know better than to fight either of you. If you're both concerned, then I must be off track. I trust you. I'm annoyed that I'm struggling so much, but I learned a long time ago that if I trust in you two, I'll succeed."

The door to the den opened, and Beth came out with her plate, looking sheepish.

"Hey, Sweets, are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm finished."

"Oh my! She's so beautiful, Quinn." Asha said, and Beth blushed.

"Beth, this is my friend, Asha."

"Hello, Ms. Asha. Nice to meet you!"

"You can call me Auntie, little one. It's so nice to meet you!" Asha gushed over Beth, and soon enough, they were best friends as Asha took her into the kitchen and regaled her with stories of Yale.

She knew better than to corrupt her, thankfully.

Once we were alone, Vanessa had that wicked look on her face.

"How bad did you want to fuck her?" She whispered.

"Hey now, maybe only a little, but that's only because I haven't had sex since April. It's been a long 7 months, and Asha is very good at scratching my itches."

"I remember. Now that I know the groaning coming from above our room was the two of you, I know just how much you two got it on."

"That's over now. I'm in love with Santana. She's all that I want or need."

"Good. I'm hoping Santana is better after this and finally lets you smash because you look very pent up."

"I am. Her parents have been staying with me, too."

"You have two bedrooms."

"I know."

"You need to move, especially since this little guy will be here in January."

She lifted her shirt and brought my hand to her small stomach. The baby kicked me, and I was kneeling by Vanessa seconds later, rubbing her stomach and talking to my son.

"We are headed to Lima for Thanksgiving, I know your parents don't celebrate. Did you want to come with us, get some good food, and get out of Baltimore for a few days?"

"Yeah. I'd like that."

It took just that one night to get Vanessa to turn her whole mood around. By the time Beth and I were getting on a train back to Philly, Asha was settling in at the apartment, and they were making meal and workout plans.

"When is the baby coming, Mama?"

"He's due on January 6th. So sometime around then."

"When was I due?"

"June 19th. You came a week early."

"Can you tell me about it?"

I spent the rest of the ride telling Beth about how I was at a Glee performance and had to be rushed to the hospital.

She was grinning the whole time, but when I talked about Shelby being so excited for her, too, she cried a bit.

It'd been a while since we'd talked about Shelby but she seemed so happy to know more about that time in my life.

I even told Beth about how the hospital her Meemaw died was the same place where she was born, and she pressed her hand to her heart and mumbled a prayer.

"She was bringing me home." She whispered to me as she rested against me and told me about her life before she came back to me.

Rachel had told me once that I hadn't been paying attention to the fact that Beth had a life before me, and as I talked to my little girl, I realized that I needed to do a better job of making room for all the important things in her life.

While Beth fell asleep against me, I decided to extend another olive branch because the Nar-anon family group talked about a network of accountability and how important it was to have a village. Whether I admitted it or not, Santana wasn't the only addict in our relationship. I needed to cultivate my village.

Although it started begrudgingly, my friendship with Rachel was paramount in helping me through some tough times. She'd been there for me and Santana, and she needed me to be her best friend, too.

So I decided to make room for her.

Thank you for being my best friend, Rachel.-Quinn

You should come to Lima with us for Thanksgiving. I miss you, and so does Beth!-Quinn

And then I sent her a picture of me and Beth.

Nearly losing Santana had definitely made me take stock of my priorities.

I was taught to pray for people and then keep it moving. Now, though, I knew that I had to do more than pray for people. I needed to be a blessing as well.

Life was too short to waste.

SANTANA'S POV

I was livid.

My first week back in classes everyone was treating me with kid gloves.

Professors were talking to me nicer, making my class work optional and my home assignments easier.

And none of them wanted to tell me what the hell was going on.

I went to Carla about it, and she told me that the only person who could sway my professors into being gentle with me was my student adviser. So, the first moment that there was a break in my day, I stormed into her office.

"Who the hell do you think you are speaking on my behalf?" I asked her as I pushed her office door open, allowing it to slam on the wall behind it.

She sat there doe-eyed and then gestured to a chair in front of her desk.

"Santana! So good to see you. You have some things on your mind, I see. Close the door and come sit down. Let's talk."

"Fine." I slammed her door closed and slid into the seat, glaring. "Talk."

"You missed two weeks of classes due to being in the hospital, and I took the lead and spoke to your professors so you wouldn't come back overwhelmed."

"Without talking to me first?"

"Yes, and you'll find that you are also excused from your midterms."

"I don't want to be excused from my fucking midterms!" I snarled and she just kept her face calm...obviously used to this behavior from people. Her face was so punchable right then.

My student adviser, Melissa, is new to Drexel. Because I transferred mid-year last year, I was assigned to her roster because she was the only one with openings.

I think she's out of her league and shouldn't advise anyone to do anything, but alas, I'm stuck with her because I hadn't thought to request a new one before the semester started.

"I'm not going to skip my tests. I only have three academic classes, and the other four are all music or production-related. So I only have to sit three tests, and I'm going to take them."

"That's your prerogative, but know that most students would just take the boon that is offered to them, Santana. Nobody's asking you to prove that you belong here."

"Well, I'm not most students. I don't care about proving myself to other people. I'm doing this for me. If I fail the tests, then I will deal with the consequences, but that's my decision to make and if I feel like fucking proving myself, whether it be personal or otherwise, that's my business." I snapped.

I felt a twinge of pain in my chest and sat back, took deep breaths and told myself to relax. Passing out in front of this woman was not going to help my case.

My lungs were still healing; I was just out of the danger zone, and here I was, getting myself worked up.

I was over the bullshit.

"Okay, Ms. Lopez, I will inform your professors to disregard my note to excuse you from midterms...will that be all?"

"Thank you. Is there anything else you did that I need to clean up?"

She shook her head, and I nodded to her, smiling my nicest smile and left.

Despite the condescending behavior from my professors and everyone else who knew about my getting sick, I passed my midterms with flying colors.

And I made sure that my test was the same one that they gave to everyone else because fuck them for thinking I needed a break.

Thankfully, I only caught one trying to cut me a break and I chewed him out as he handed me the real exam.

Yes, I had been in the hospital. Yes, I had nearly died, but I didn't want to feel like an invalid.

I was, after all, no ordinary student.

Most of the kids in my classes were straight out of high school, looking to slack off any chance that they could, but I was a grown woman,

I'd been divorced, on and off drugs, and had sung on motherfucking Broadway...there was nothing I couldn't handle.

So far.

I was taking a nap in my dorm room when my father's ringtone woke me from a much-needed nap before my shift at the radio station.

"Yes? Bendicion. I'm sleeping." I mumbled into the phone, with the blanket over my head and my eyes still closed.

"Dios te bendiga, Tata. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, Papi."

"Are you taking it easy?"

I chuckled dryly but didn't dare lie to him because somehow he'd know.

"Not a chance. I'll rest when I get to Lima. In the meantime, I am making sure I don't fall behind."

"When will you be coming home?"

"We plan to get on the road obscenely early tomorrow morning, so tomorrow night, sometime."

"Good. How are you doing with your medication?"

"Okay. I'll let you give me the full checkup when I get there. Promise."

"Good. So I have to ask you something important."

"I'm sober." It was a knee-jerk response at this point.

"I know. This isn't about you."

"Oh, okay, ask me."

"Can I have your blessing to propose to your mother?"

My eyes shot open, and I sat up; my roommate yelped, probably because I looked like a mummy, but I was too focused on Papi to apologize for scaring her.

"You're serious?"

"Absolutely, I'm looking at the ring right this second."

"Send me a picture."

"Now?"

"Yes." I put the phone to my chest and smiled at Gina. "Sorry for scaring you. My dad is proposing to my mom and is about to send me a pic."

She just smiled and rushed over. "I wanna see."

The picture came through, and I just stared at it for a long time. Gina did, too. "Wow."

I put the phone on speaker. "Papi, where did you even find a ring like that in Lima?"

"I had it made by a jeweler friend in New York, and it arrived this morning. So...what do you say? Can I propose?"

"Hell, yes! There's no way she would say no, Mr. Lopez." Gina said to my father before going back to her side of the room.

He was chuckling. "Thanks, Gina."

"Well, You heard the roommate, Papi. Go get yourself a wife!"

We both laughed as we ended the call, and I went right back to sleep, feeling way happier and more hopeful than I had all day long.

QUINN'S POV

"Where's Santana?" Rachel asked as we walked to Beth's school, having left a heavily pregnant Vanessa back at my apartment. Since my visit, she'd been taking self-care seriously, and I knew better than to interrupt her nap.

"She should be just getting to work. We won't see her until morning. She gets off around 2am and will probably just go back to her dorm and sleep until we pick her up."

"Oh. I was hoping to talk to her before we left. Why didn't she take off? I'm sure her job would agree, given she's only been out of the hospital for a week."

"Get that kind of talk out of your system right now, Rachel. Santana is feeling very sensitive about the whole thing and doesn't want anyone to think that she can't be the same determined pain in the ass that she's always been."

"Why haven't you stepped in? Surely you, of all people, could convince her to take it easy?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that one.

"Second to myself and you, Santana is the most ambitious person that I know. She's going as fast as she can without breaking down. No one wants her to stay out of the hospital more than her. She's pushing herself, but she's aware of her limits."

"You're sure about that?"

"I am and don't you worry, the moment that we are back in Lima, her father is going to coddle her. She needs to feel independent. She has alarms for her medication and has scheduled naps. Her school breaks from Thanksgiving to after New Year's, so she is about to have a lot of time to rest. Right now, she needs this."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Please don't micromanage her. Be there as a friend. Grab her water if you're getting yourself water. Help her without her needing to ask, and don't suggest that she take it easy."

"I give you my word."

Despite being tired, Vanessa insisted on going to the Nar-Anon meeting with us, and I was pleasantly surprised to see Rachel get up and talk to the group about Finn.

She talked about seeing him go from being chubby, shy, and very much aloof to becoming ambitious, sneaky, and very frail.

Rachel was so strong as she talked about how these meetings helped her stop blaming herself for his addiction. She spoke from a place of hope and understanding.

It made me respect her more than ever, and it made Beth cry.

"Finn died from drugs?" She said once we were outside. "That's sad...Mama and I want to keep Santana alive."

Rachel looked surprised that Beth knew who Finn was.

"Shelby played all of our old videos for her, so she kind of knows the whole glee club even if she's never met them, and as you know, Puck is her father. He talks about Finn all the time."

Rachel wrapped an arm around Beth.

"We'll save Santana...don't worry, okay. I think now that we know the signs...Santana will live a very long life."

"We're her village."

"Exactly."

Late that night, after dinner and lots of girl talk, I was curled up on the edge of my bed while Beth took over most of the other side and the middle...somehow at the same time.

My head was full of worries. Among them was how valid Rachel's words about Santana needing to slow down might be.

I've barely seen her for more than a few hours since she's been back on her feet, and I've been giving her space to do what she feels is necessary, but I was incredibly grateful that now she was being forced to take a break.

And she wasn't alone in working too hard. I had one semester left until graduation, I was teaching two classes, and I had a full course load on top of being a single parent.

My cup was running over, and I was about to become a parent twice in a matter of months. This trip back home was probably the last respite that I would get for quite some time.

So I really couldn't be the one to tell Santana to slow down when I wasn't even close to taking that advice myself.

When my bedroom door cracked open just after midnight, I thought it was Vanessa or Rachel, but the door closed, and then keys and a phone were laid on the nightstand across from me.

Santana's damp hair was hanging loose around her face. Dark circles were under her eyes, and her skin looked a bit pale. Her breathing was a little labored, but she used her inhaler and gulped down some water the first moment she could.

I watched her as she stripped down to her tank top and boxers. When she finally turned towards me, and our eyes met, she froze in place.

"Crap, did I wake you?" She said with a soft smile.

"Who could sleep?" I said, gesturing towards Beth. "The kid takes up a time zone all on her own."

She smiled even bigger when she pulled the sheet back to see that Beth had indeed taken up most of the bed.

"I've got this." She whispered with all the confidence in the world.

Santana knows how to use Beth's literal best friend status to her advantage. She just leaned over and whispered in Beth's ear, and when Beth opened her bleary eyes for half a second to see Santana, she kissed her face before moving to the middle of the bed, leaving just enough room for Santana before passing out again.

"You're like magic, Princess." I whispered as I moved in closer to Beth and away from the edge, and Santana rewarded me with blushing cheeks. "You deserve a reward for that."

"This is my reward. Being here with you two is all I need."

Once she was settled under the covers, she rested a hand on Beth's back and glanced over at me, looking exhausted but content.

"Did you skip work?"

"I did. I overdid it today. I finished some mastering, took a treatment, and then showered before coming straight here."

"Good." Beth mumbled before she casually threw an arm over Santana's waist.

Santana kissed Beth's head and then looked at me again.

"I second that. We missed you."

"I missed you too. I think I'm ready to be here with you two forever."

"Move in with us then." I said, stating the obvious next step, hoping that she wasn't speaking out of exhaustion.

She smiled softly at me and then whispered in Beth's ear again.

Beth raised her head, looked at me and then back at Santana.

"You should be here already. Are you going to move in?" She mumbled.

"Yeah, Kiddo...I think I am."

"Goody...now go to sleep already. Talk tomorrow." She mumbled before dropping her head back down and continuing to snore.

"Well, that settles it then. Welcome home."

SANTANA'S POV

Even though my eyes were closed and my breathing slowed, I remained in a state of rest that was more hovering than dreaming.

I was hyper-aware of Quinn's every movement, even with Beth lying between us.

Beth's little body was plastered against my side and didn't move for the rest of the night, which I soaked up, especially since it meant that Quinn's back wouldn't be hurting the next day.

My mind was thinking over what came next, and it was terrifying.

Just being able to be in that bed with the two most beautiful girls in the world was a blessing that I was scared to lose.

It was my greatest desire and fear to move in and become a permanent part of their lives.

What if I fucked up again?

I am an addict.

That won't change because of a hospital stay. I still lied about the methadone, even if it was by omission. As soon as I was able to talk, Papi interrogated me for an hour about my actions.

He reminded me that relapse is ALWAYS possible, and I can't get complacent.

I knew he'd be taking me to his colleagues during the break, checking on my entire body, and if Mami had her way, I'd be getting a psych eval as well. She even recommended an outpatient program that I could do during my break. The thought of it had me on edge because they were adjusting to the reality of me being an addict.

Quinn, though, seemed ready to brush it under the rug. I wanted to move in more than anything, but if I fucked up again, where would that leave me? If I gave up my dorm room and lived with Quinn, there was no place to escape.

Having no safety net was a terrifying thought.

We've been dancing around this relationship for years now, and moving in would make it REAL, and that was really fucking with me.

I was still lingering just outside of sleep when Beth's body dislodged from my side and disappeared into the bathroom. This gave me the opportunity to flop onto my stomach so that I could at least be more comfortable.

My face was turned towards Quinn, and I thought since I couldn't sleep anymore...at least I could look at something beautiful.

It seemed that she was thinking the same thing because when I finally opened my eyes, hers were looking right back at me.

Even after all this time, she still takes my fucking breath away.

"Hey." She whispered...her soft lips spreading into a smile. "You look like shit."

"Thanks...you don't." I said...feeling my eyebrows cinch up and my scowl take over my face...because...RUDE.

"Don't get upset, you just look tired. You couldn't sleep?"

"Not really."

She scooted closer to me until she was able to touch me better. Her hand dipped under my shirt and began to trace up and down my back.

I closed my eyes and fought the urge to moan because Beth would be back from the bathroom any minute.

"The last time I was this tired while we were in this bed together...you soaked my sheets...right in this very spot." She growled lowly, and this time, the low moan that escaped my lips wasn't something I could hold back.

How did shit go from a literal ray of sunshine one minute to a teasing vixen the next?

When I opened my eyes, she raised her eyebrows and bit her bottom lip, waiting for something.

Only...I wasn't sure what that was, so instead, I blurted out the very first thing that came to mind.

"I can't move in with you."