A/N: I've been back and forth for weeks now on what to write to finish this thing off. During that time I lost both my grandparents a month apart so realistically I was ready to kill everyone in this story and now...well now I want to just finish this thing...here goes nothing. With these chapters, as I finish out will be a bit shorter than you're used to but that means I might write more in a shorter time span.

Better Than I Used to Be (Tim McGraw)

Four Years Later

QUINN'S POV

It was deafening the way that her eyes watered as she spoke to us so crassly after dinner and while I feel numb, I can still see it all so clearly.

Santana was cuddled on one couch with the baby curled up against her while she watched Gabe do his homework at the coffee table. I was in the middle of texting my mother about our holiday plans when Beth came storming into the room.

"I'm pregnant." She said, matter of fact and unapologetic. "I'm pregnant and I am not getting rid of it, I'm not putting it up for adoption and if it's a boy or a girl, I'm naming it Shelby." She said...her voice breaking off at the end.

There were popping noises in my head, my fifteen year old daughter was about to live out my history. I knew on a base level that I could respond a few different ways. I knew that I was angry, hurt, and shocked but I would not be like my parents.

"Well that is quite an entrance, Kid." Santana said as she bounced her little look alike on her knee.

At just one years old, our baby was about to be an auntie.

"And the father?" I asked her, trying to school my features.

"He's gay...I um...helped him figure it out." She said, a blush covering her face as she glanced over at her brother who was looking up at her in awe.

"Now you're embarrassed?" Santana said and without looking she continued. "Gabriel, take your sister upstairs while we talk to Beth...now." Her voice was stern and our normally argumentative son did not even hesitate.

"Yes, Mami." He said as he picked up the baby and headed straight for the stairs.

All was quiet while we waited for Gabriel's door to close and then there was a growl in Santana's voice as she looked up at Beth with fire in her eyes.

"You had no business involving your brother in this situation, he's ten and does not need to hear what you've been up to." Santana glared at Beth while I sat there, still feeling numb...still shell shocked.

"You're right, Mami, I'm sorry. I guess, I was just so anxious to get it all out that I didn't even think."

"That's not the only time that you weren't thinking." I said dryly as I got up to pour myself some wine.

"Don't, Quinn. We need to all sit down, soberly and talk this out." Santana said and I froze in place and looked over at my very serious wife. "And Beth, you call whoever this boy is and you tell him to get his ass over here WITH his parents. You want to do adult things, you don't storm into a room and drop bombs...you act like an adult."

"Yes, Mami." Beth said, lingering a moment.

"Don't just stand there...we're waiting."

And then Beth was on her way up the stairs in search of her phone.

I checked out of the conversation with the boy's parents pretty early, I did a lot of nodding and staring while Santana handled the fuck out of the situation.

By the time that everything was said and done, there seemed to be a mutual understanding about expectations of good grades and part time jobs. There was now a plan in place that I had no hand in crafting because I was about to become a grandmother in my early 30s, this can't be life!

I hated how well Santana was handling things and how badly I was, Beth kept looking at me, kept waiting for me to say something but I could barely look her in the eye.

I had failed her.

She should have been learning from my example but I had checked out of this parenting thing as soon as being a doctor was a possibility.

I felt like a piece of shit and there was no way to get around it.

That night as I crawled into bed, Santana was stewing as she paced back and forth.

"I can't believe she was this irresponsible! I mean she knows about protecting herself, she KNOWS that if she needed condoms I would have made sure she had them."

I stared at her in disbelief and suddenly my voice was back.

"Seriously, Santana?"

"What? You don't think that a fifteen year old having condoms is responsible? YOU of all people, Quinn?"

"She's too young."

"Need I remind you that at this same age you were dating Finn and sleeping with his best friend, my boyfriend? That you were encouraging girls to be bulimic and beating up freshman?"

"That's different."

"How so?" Her voice was getting louder as she stared me down, her glare no less angry.

"She's my baby, love. I just have a hard time seeing her as a young woman having sex."

"Well wake the hell up, sweetheart because you're about to be a grandma."

"You don't need to talk to me like that." I said as calmly as I could.

"Stop this!" She said, her eyes pleading with me as she held her hand out to me. "I need you to stop being calm. Stop being so checked out. I've dealt with you being checked out of this marriage for years but seriously, Quinn...tonight I fucking needed you to be checked in, to be Beth's mother for fucking once but instead you just sat there."

I didn't think she'd get so mad. I had no words for her after her barbs and it only made things worse. I stormed away from her and jumped into the shower, hoping that the physical space between us would help me get my mind together.

And for me, it did, I came out of the shower and was able to get my mind to where it needed to be but I came back to a room that was empty and a note on the bed.

Q-

I need a break from you. If things keep going like this, I'm going to either end up filing for divorce and custody or getting high.

I don't want either of those things, so just give me time. Give me the space that I need.

-Santana

I sat on the edge of the bed wrapped in my towel, staring down at the tear stained piece of paper.

She'd left me.

And if I'm honest with myself, which I am generally not these days, I can't say that I'm surprised.

This was just her tipping point.

Knowing though, that she had no desire to get high did give me some peace.

"Mom?" I gripped at my towel and looked up at Beth's bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah, Sweets?"

"Mami left."

"Yeah."

"Because of me?"

I patted the bed next to me and gave her my best smile.

"Sit."

Beth hands hovered over her flat stomach as she sat next to me.

"I know that I shouldn't have just dropped the bomb on you like that but I thought I'd lose my nerve. I'm sure Mami feels like she deserved more respect than that."

"It was definitely hard to hear but I've been in your shoes. It took a lot of courage. I do wish you had thought of your brother being in the room. You definitely didn't do it with thought to that."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know but I think this was more about me. This was more about me not being the most into talking tonight. I've kind of checked out of being a good wife."

"You...yeah." She said, looking away.

"What?"

"It's...I don't know...seems that you haven't been into being around us in a long time."

"I don't want it to be that way."

"But it is."

"I'm working so hard to be the best because I want you to have that example. I want you, Gabriel, and Sasha to see what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it."

"That's not what it feels like, Mama. To us...to me, it feels like you got me back only to let someone else raise me. All these years later and I don't feel like I know you. I don't feel like you and I connect the way that me and Mami do. Sasha's still too little to feel it but me and Gabe sure do."

"I'm sorry, sweets. I can be better, I will be."

Beth stood up, sighing as she flattened out her pajamas before putting her hands back on her stomach.

"Did you know that this is the most we have talked in years, just me and you? I can't imagine what was important enough for you to miss out on all that bonding with your kids but you've sure taught me to be a better mom to my kid. Good night, Mama."

And with that parting shot, she left me sitting there, still in my towel, feeling like the shittiest parent in the world.

Only, I wasn't going to wallow in it. I didn't have that luxury.

I had a lot of making up to do with my kids and my wife.

Now that I'm a third year resident at the hospital, I don't have to work so hard to prove myself. I don't need to work insane hours like when I was an intern.

Which means that I have no excuse to keep on being detached.

I'd had those kind of parents...detached, oblivious. How could I become them?

I wasn't a drunk...I wasn't abusive and I thought that was enough to separate me from them...but I guess not.

It's time to win my family back. Time to be the person that I've set out to be.

A/N: A lot happened in this short chapter. It's my first in awhile. I hope it's not too bad.