I'd Rather (Luther Vandross)
AUGUST...still
QUINN'S POV
It's been ages since I've truly lived on my own and while I knew that it would be short lived, it still felt like an extension of prison.
Rachel picked me up all alone, because apparently, Santana had to work and had classes. I could tell though, that she was lying.
What I could also see was that she was doing this begrudgingly and probably more for Santana than for me.
She was classy in her annoyance though, she even spent about an hour with me, taking me to get groceries before leaving me to my own devices.
The house was immaculate but the air was stale...just like my cell.
I didn't have anything but a small bag full of papers and the small amount of food, so there was nothing much to unpack.
For awhile I just wandered our little four bedroom house, trying to get my head together.
First, I went to Sasha's nursery which gave me immediate pause.
It was stripped bare for the most part...there wasn't any trace that a baby lived here at all aside from the bare crib.
Santana must have taken every thing of Sasha's after I was already gone and the tears were instantaneous.
I closed the door quickly and went across the hall to Beth's room.
My heart warmed to see her room just as she left it.
Bed unmade, clothes still on the floor and pretty much messy.
More over, a sense of sadness hung in the air, clung to the walls, which made me ache uncontrollably.
I made a mental note to clean, maybe paint it and air it out before she came home, since I would have so much time on my hands.
After that I walked through the shared bathroom into Gabriel's room, which was much cleaner.
He was just that kind of kid.
His room smelled like stale body spray and rubber from his extensive sneaker collection.
Being in his room made me smile the most.
It was just so...normal.
And so I sat in there for awhile...probably longer than he would have liked but I needed that normal feeling.
For so long, I have lived my own sense of normal and now, it was going to take some time to figure out what my new normal would be.
I'd need to find a job, go to meetings, keep up with church, and probably join the PTA when the kids were in school again.
It was going to be more important than ever to fill my days with positive things.
Things that gave my life meaning.
And so right there, in my son's room, I dropped to my knees.
Hoping beyond hope, that God would provide some guidance and peace.
I'm not sure how long the prayer lasted but it was definitely long enough for my anklet to buzz.
Which meant that I had missed a call from my probation officer.
It was a warning that if I didn't call soon, the cops would show up.
And so I scrambled to my feet and went in search of my phone.
When I unlocked it, I saw a missed call and felt a wash of panic.
I didn't hesitate to call right back.
The call was picked up almost immediately.
"Karleen, speaking."
"I uh...Karleen it's Quinn."
"You missed your call."
"I'm sorry, I got distracted."
"Your monitor confirms that you are at your domicile. Please make sure to not miss calls, Mrs. Lopez or the police will be called to your home."
"Understood."
"Now, tomorrow morning you'll report to my office to take your mandatory urine sample. If the sample is dirty at any point in your probationary period, you'll be remanded to custody."
"Understood. What time should I be there?"
She sighed but didn't raise her voice, thankfully.
"It should be in the paperwork from your release but I imagine you are just getting settled. Please report to the address in your paperwork at 8:15am. Please bring your photo id, your therapy schedule, and any other time commitments that you plan to have so that we can adjust the boundaries on your monitor."
"Does that include church?"
"Any place that you would frequent on an as needed basis. Church, supermarket, gas station, bank. There will be time constraints on how long you will be allowed to stay in those places. We will discuss the stipulations when you report tomorrow morning."
"Okay. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Good night."
"Good nig-" I began to say but the dial tone was the response.
This was going to be a test of my patience but I lived with Russell and Santana, two of the most crotchety people...Karleen would be a breeze.
Six Days Later...
I woke with a start on Wednesday morning with my back aching and my head pounding.
The couch was doing nothing for my spine but I just couldn't bring myself to sleep in my bed or the kids.
Not when I was feeling like shit.
I sat up slowly and realized that the blinds were open and the sound that woke me was Santana on the phone.
She obviously didn't see me on the couch because she continued to talk into her phone as she opened the windows.
"No, I haven't seen her yet. I just got here. Relax, Rachel...I am not the immature asshole I used to be."
I rubbed at my eyes and smoothed down my hair before standing up.
And that was when she saw me.
"Shit...Rach, I gotta go. Yeah, yeah...bitch I gotta go, kiss my baby for me. BYEEEE."
I couldn't help but smile at her antics.
That bond with Rachel that she had really stood the test of time.
I began to fold the blanket I had used, trying to keep my shaking hands busy as she ended her call before walking into the living room.
"Sorry I woke you...I didn't know you were sleeping here."
She stood behind the couch, her freshly manicured nails running across the top of it.
I clutched the folded blanket and looked her over.
She looked so good without me.
My body flooded with heat as I looked into those eyes...God she is beautiful.
"I..." My voice was harsh, so I cleared my throat and started again. "I can't sleep in our room without you." I admitted and then I watched her as her eyes traveled over me.
Thinking I'd be alone, I wasn't wearing much. Just skimpy boxers and a sports bra.
"You've been working out?" She said as she looked at my stomach.
I felt myself flush again...why was I so nervous?
"I had a lot of time on my hands in there. So I worked out a lot."
"You look good."
"So do you."
"Yeah, Rachel has me on this vegan diet and I've been dancing again." She said and then there was silence as we just looked at each other.
If things weren't so weird, I'd be seducing her...stripping off that skimpy dress she was wearing and having my way with her.
But we weren't in that kind of place.
She was the first to break eye contact as her eyes moved down to my ankle.
Her eyebrows raised and then she reached forward and took the blanket from me.
"Why don't you go get a shower or something? I'll make you breakfast...have you had the chance to shop?" She asked as she moved about, putting the blanket in the trunk that sat in the dining room before walking into the kitchen, still talking to me. "Rachel said she took you, do you need more food?"
I stood stock still as she opened the refrigerator.
She stopped talking and I heard the movement of things before she closed the door to the fridge and turned towards me.
"None of that food looks touched...have you not eaten?" She asked.
My default was to lie.
And it was on my lips...the excuse but then I stopped myself and sighed before moving towards her.
"I haven't had an appetite." I admitted. "I know I should eat but...I just...the stress of everything has me distracted."
"Well that stops today, you have to eat."
I nodded.
"Okay."
"I saw bacon in there...which...kudos on getting Rachel to buy that for you because I have been dying for some meat!"
"Wanky." I said and she grinned wide.
"God, I didn't even think."
"I'll eat what you make, if you could just not make too much...that would be great. I don't know if I can handle a big serving."
"You've got it. Now go get dressed...I am thinking very bad thoughts and I don't think I can keep myself together with you looking like that."
"Oh...um...are you sure that's what you want? Me to hide all of this flawlessness?"
"Not really but we are not in a sexy times kind of place."
"But we could be." I countered and I could see the warring emotions all over her face.
She finally sighed and gave me a sad smile.
"Let's take it slow, Luce...it took a lot for me to come here...I..." She was searching for the right way to let me down.
"I get it...no hurt feelings here. I'll be right back." I said, smiling back at her even though my heart was in my throat.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I clenched my teeth as I bit back my moans, why had I even cheated on her when I'm still so obviously attracted to her?
My fingers were moving at a feverish pace as I worked myself to orgasm.
Her lips and those eyes danced in my mind as I called back to all the times she had worked me over so good.
The shower began to run cold and I quickly turned it off.
As I stepped onto the bathroom floor, my legs feeling shaky there was a harsh knock on the door.
"Yeah?" I called out, my voice weak.
"You okay in there? It's been like thirty minutes and you've never taken a shower that long."
"Um...yeah." I said as I checked my reflection in the mirror before unlocking the door and pulling it open.
She had picked up her hair, showing off those fucking ears that I loved so much.
I was so caught off guard that I groaned when I saw them.
"They still do it for you, huh?" She asked before smirking.
I nodded and then gripped tightly at my towel.
"I'm going to get dressed...is breakfast ready?"
"Yup." She said, so obviously holding back laughter.
"Ok...I'll be quick."
"Take your time." She said softly, pushing my hair back and tucking it behind my ear. "I'm here all day."
Her touch set my skin aflame and I must have turned pink because she let out a chuckle before dropping her hand, rolling her eyes, and walking away.
Thank Jesus.
I took my time getting dressed, knowing that I needed a few moments to get myself together.
Something had changed within me and it had everything to do with her.
And you know what, fuck it, I've done enough holding back and fighting things. So I was giving in.
It was probably a good thing that she sees what she does to me...that she sees that I have feelings in general and for her.
That was most important.
"Father...please, please, please help me honor my marriage for once. Help me be better...be the wife that she deserves. Please?" I whispered silently before blowing out a breath.
I shook out the nerves and made my way out of our bedroom, headed straight into whatever was going to happen next.
Open to it all.
SANTANA'S POV
"So, tell me, mi'ja...how's it going?"
"Why is everyone so concerned about MY marriage, Mami?"
"Because you two have been through enough and all of us just want you two to be happy whether that's together or apart."
"Wow."
"I know it's not what you want to hear but it's the truth, mi vida. You're a mother, tell me this if it was Beth or Sasha...even Gabriel...what you say to them if they were in your shoes?"
I let out a harsh laugh.
"I'd tell them to run...get the hell out of that situation before it steals their lives."
"Is that what you want me to say to you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"You don't see the way she looks at me still, Mami...it's like the last six years never happened. She looks at me like before."
"And so you're chasing a ghost."
"Are you telling me to end it?"
For months, Mami had been hinting at me getting yet another divorce but she refused to say the words.
"Nope. I won't do that."
"Why not?!" I stomped my foot on the kitchen floor as I tried to keep my voice down.
"You know why. Deep down, maybe even on the surface...too many people have been up in your marriage and it's time to be adults put your big girl panties on and decide if there is still enough there to build a true life on. The sex is not worth the pain of holding onto something or someone who hurts you."
"You see, you keep saying things like that...hinting at what I should do but not telling me. If you're not going to be straight with me, Mami then just stop speaking in riddles. Por favor?"
"Okay...you're right...lo siento."
I heard the bedroom door open and quieted my voice.
"She's coming, I gotta go. Te quiero mucho, Mami."
"Dios te bendiga. Call me later, if you're up for it...I'll bring over dinner."
"I'm sure she'd like that."
Quinn walked slowly into the dining room, the ankle monitor ugly against her pale skin. It gave me pause...brought me back to that day in the court room.
Not letting me forget what I had seen, no matter how much I wanted to.
She was flushed, it seemed to be a constant look about her every time she looked at me.
It was so odd these days to see her clamoring to touch me.
For me to touch her, as evidenced by the sigh she released when I had pushed her hair behind her ear.
"Hey." I said.
"It smells so good in here. I'm actually hungry just smelling it."
"Good."
I pulled her plate out of the warmer and placed it in front of her with a giant mug of coffee.
She was practically salivating as she looked at her plate.
"Aren't you going to eat?"
"I ate already on the train this morning but I will sit with you though."
I went back to the kitchen and grabbed my cafecito before sitting across from her.
There was still time to book my ride back to New York but I had purposely gotten a one way just in case I decided to spend more than a day here.
And the way things were looking, that just might be the case.
Despite all the undercover jabs at my divorce from Mami, I was pretty sure that what we had was more than lust.
I had to give it one last try.
QUINN'S POV
She was watching my every move, I was hyper aware of that.
When she walked into the kitchen, it gave me a moment to take a deep breath.
I dropped my head and began to pray over the food as I listened to her moving about and then sitting down across from me.
Her eyes burned into my face as I said the last few words of prayer.
When I looked up at her, she didn't even divert her eyes, instead she smiled.
"What?" I said as I stabbed at my scrambled eggs.
"I haven't seen you pray in a really long time...didn't realize that I missed the peaceful look you get when you do it."
"Oh. I didn't think you ever noticed."
"I notice just about everything...which is why I was so mad at myself when I didn't know about..." She trailed off.
"The drugs...the affair, yeah...it's probably because I did my best to not be home even when I had days off."
She nodded, not a trace of emotion on her face as she sipped at her espresso.
"Yeah, plus me raising the kids, having a kid, working, meetings, and hiding Cancer. It's been a crazy couple of years."
I nodded, filling my mouth with food, chewing, swallowing...not knowing what to say.
And then I didn't have to say a thing because my phone went off with the ringer that I had set specifically for Karleen.
I jumped up from my chair and ran towards the living room.
"Hello?"
"I'm liking how quickly you answer, Quinn. Definitely better than the first time."
"Thank you." I said, glancing over at Santana but saw that she hadn't moved in her seat, wasn't even looking at me.
"I need you to come in."
"Is something wrong?"
"You tell me." She said.
"I don't think so. I've been everywhere that I'm supposed to be." I felt anxious all of a sudden. "Right? I mean...should I be calling my lawyer?" I whispered, not wanting Santana to hear.
"Quinn, calm down. If you violated your probation I'd be at your door with a uniform. I just need you to come in as soon as you can and it might not hurt to call your lawyer...if she hasn't called you by now."
"Okay. See you soon."
I moved as quickly as I could, not giving as much attention to Santana because this was serious.
Too serious to play whatever game of nostalgia we were in.
As I rushed to the room in search of my shoes I heard the tap, tap of Santana's heels that she had kicked off by the door when she had gotten here.
While I looked rough, rushed as I moved towards the door, she looked flawless with her aviators on.
And just like every time that I've felt like I was about to explode, she reached her hand out and took mine.
"Relax." She said. "Freaking out isn't going to fix anything."
I nodded and then shook her hand off of mine.
She looked hurt for split second but turned towards the door, opening it for me.
"Sorry...I need to call my lawyer." I said and she gave me a tight smile.
"I'll drive while you get that sorted...where to?"
"Radnor Court."
She nodded and rushed me out onto the driveway as she closed and locked the door.
I wanted so much to go back in the house and hide from all of this but reality was not going to let that happen.
And I was anxious that she was with me for whatever this was.
The last time she had been wrapped up in this, she'd seen some things that I wish she hadn't.
God...please...just...please let this be nothing.
My lawyer, thankfully worked a building away from the courthouse and so when we pulled up outside, she was standing on the sidewalk with a soft smile.
The ride here had been quick and silent as Santana hummed along to the radio.
Her left hand on the steering wheel and her right hand clutching my own.
There was no need to discuss anything...she'd effectively put a pin in what was going on between us and which allowed me to focus on my own drama.
Thankfully.
Lord what did I do to deserve her? Please don't ever let me forget this feeling.
I prayed silently before stepping out of the car.
"How bad is it?" I asked as we walked towards the courthouse doors.
"I don't want to use that term for what's going on."
"Okay, so what term should I be using?"
"Are you clean, Quinn?"
I stopped short and felt Santana's body come into contact with mine, nearly knocking me over.
My lawyer, Ana, looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm sober, I swear! I haven't taken anything in months."
"You're sure?"
"Yes!" I said feeling totally guilty even though I was sure that I had been clean.
"Well, your urine sample had traces of Oxy...not a lot but enough to set off alarm bells. I want to believe you but the tests don't lie."
"So what...am I taking another one?"
"Yes and I'll have them do a blood test as well. Then we'll wait until the readings come back. In the meantime, I took a look at the agreement you signed before you hired me."
"You did what?" Santana said from beside me. "Please tell me you didn't sign your life away without a lawyer...Luce?"
I nodded. "I did."
"Shit." She muttered.
My lawyer smiled and then said just before we got to Karleen's door.
"I'll finish filling you in once we are done in there for now, you go in, you follow instructions and do not try to kiss her ass. It pisses her off."
"Noted." I said, immediately dropping my plan to be the BEST person Karleen ever met.
SANTANA'S POV
For someone who proclaims innocence, my wife has a knack for seeming guilty.
But I knew her on pills...at least...I think I did but her certainty in the face of her lawyer made me side with her because why lie to the one person in your corner?
She seemed way too sure so I swallowed my doubts and just followed along.
Quinn deflated in the face of her probation officer, nothing but yes ma'ams and wide eyes.
I just sat back and watched her without her usually perfect facade. There was a world of difference between her on that witness stand lying to cover her own ass and her now.
Demure.
Attentive.
And apologetic.
It was unnerving.
We sat around for an hour while we waited for her test results.
And despite all of her declarations it still came back with Oxy.
I watched Quinn's eyes go impossibly wider.
"No." She whispered, tears in her eyes.
"Is there anything that you've been taking at the house?"
Quinn nodded and looked at confused.
"The couch...um I've been sleeping there and I took the Aleve from the medicine cabinet."
"Shit. Those are mine. You've always complained about how Aleve never worked for you so when I got my pain meds after my surgery I hid them in that bottle not wanting to tempt you."
Quinn looked at me with wild eyes.
"That was just something I said because my tolerance was so high they didn't do anything for me. Now though, it's all I found, I've been taking those every day!" She screeched. "Shit!"
"I'm so sorry." I said, feeling so awful for screwing up her sobriety. "What can I do?" I said to Karleen and she looked between us and Ana before saying quietly.
"Close the door."
And so I got up and quickly shut the door before perching on the arm rest of Quinn's chair.
"I'm sorry." I said and she looked at me with tears running down her face.
"I should have known...I'm a doctor...I was." She corrected before looking at Karleen.
"I can't go back to jail, Karleen...please?"
Karleen looked at Ana.
"What do you think?"
"I think I can make it work, I'm sure Santana would be willing to sign an affidavit stating that she had concealed her prescription and if she turns it over, we wait 72 hours and test Quinn again...and IF she's clean." Ana looked over and stared at Quinn who nodded vigorously. "Then we can just write it up as a second strike and from here on out she needs to continue to be a model citizen."
"My concern is that you being alone in that house is serious temptation to screw things up. I want to see you succeed, Quinn, just as bad as you say that you want to. I've been over your file, I know your case and you were a model prisoner and in the five days I've known you...you've done your part. I have a strong sense that this was an honest mistake and so I'm willing to vouch for you but if you screw this up again...I mean you so much as get a speeding ticket, I'm hauling you in. Got it?"
"Yes, ma'am." Quinn said.
"And one last thing, due to the severity of this matter, I'm suspending your outdoor activities until your clean drug test in three days time. I will be bringing an officer to sweep your house today, I assume Ana will also be there and in the meantime, Santana, you might want to rush your statement and stick around for the next 72 hours."
I nodded, feeling so mad at myself for getting Quinn in trouble.
"I'll be here."
"Good."
QUINN'S POV
I sat stock still as I watched the officer and Karleen going through the house. Santana and Ana hovered around them, especially when they went in the kids' rooms, which produced a hidden bottle of vodka from Beth's closet and the single bottle of "Aleve" that was really Oxy.
Once they cleared the rooms, Santana and Ana wrote up a statement, Karleen's assistant notarized it and then everyone left.
Not once did I move from the couch, I just felt so out of sorts.
I hadn't felt high even a little bit when I took those pills.
In fact, the pain in my back only dulled...it never completely went away so those pills were terrible.
Or my body was screwed...that's probably it.
I let out a long breath once the door closed behind the party of people who had swarmed our house.
The neighbors were probably asking all sorts of questions and Santana...well all of the lightness she'd had this morning was gone.
The tap, tap of her heels stopped and she clicked the deadbolt and then there was the thud, thud of her kicking her shoes off.
"Fuck." She murmured. "Are you hungry?" She asked.
I turned around and she was still standing at the door, her forehead resting against it.
"No." I said.
"It's been hours...how about PB & J?" She asked and I shrugged.
"Yeah...that's fine."
"Okay." She sighed and then began to strip off her clothes as she walked into the kitchen, until she was down to her underwear and bra. "I hope you don't mind...I just need to...de-stress."
I smiled at her as I followed her into the kitchen...matching her style of undress because I too needed to de-stress. "So...I know you want slow but..." I trailed off as I stepped into the kitchen and she was standing there looking at me, her lip between her teeth.
We shared one look and then she was on me.
Our lips collided and she was lifting me, just like old times, on the counter.
So many memories flooded my mind as I held her face between my palms and devoured her lips.
"I'm sorry." She whispered when we pulled back for air. "So, so sorry."
"Stop. Please, haven't we apologized to each other enough? You didn't mean it and I should have been more careful."
"We still have to figure shit out." She said and I nodded before grabbing her face again and wrapping my legs around her waist.
"De-stress first...then food...then the rest. Please, babylove?" I cooed.
I was spent as I laid against her body on the kitchen floor.
"That was amazing." I muttered as I wiped the sweat off my forehead.
"Yeah it was."
"Have you...you know...been doing that with someone else?" I asked...hoping that it didn't become a thing.
"No. Despite the urging of literally everyone...including Beth...I have not been with anyone else."
"Not even Dani?"
"We went on a date or two this past month but we are just better as friends."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. We have been hanging out a lot though. I've become her wing-woman."
"That's...wow. I would have bet any amount of money that you would have used this break to get me out of your system."
I'd been staring at the ceiling while catching my breath but finally I looked at her and she was staring.
"Nah. What about you? Did you get freaky with your cell mate?" She asked...a smirk on her face.
"Gross. No...but I did get some solid legal advice. I mean, if I had initiated she probably would have gone for it but I really am done with all that other people stuff. I just want this...us to work. I did the whole sleeping around thing...I'm so over it...like for good."
"Around? Was Ish not the only one?"
I rolled my eyes.
"I mean historically. I have ALWAYS been a cheater. Cheated on Finn with Puck, on Puck with Finn, on Sam with Finn...on Biff with Puck...on you with Ish...I might be forgetting a few more times, God I sound like a whore."
"Yeah you do but for a time, I was no better but who would have thought that the President of the celibacy club would out hooch ME!" She said, letting out a bark of laughter and I couldn't hold it back.
We both dissolved into a fit of cackles like mad women on the floor until our ribs were sore.
"I am so done."
"Good...it's probably by the grace of God that you haven't caught something."
"You're so right."
"So tonight...you'll be sleeping in the bed...right?"
"As long as you're there with me."
"Will there be more sex because I'm due for more orgasms than just the one?"
I grinned.
"Are you asking me to make it a two time thing?" I asked, remembering the start of all of this.
"Or three, or four."
And just like that we were laughing again but this time softer.
"I'm hungry." I whispered.
"Music to my ears...lets make a smorgasbord and take it to bed." She said and I nodded.
"Yes, please."
SEPTEMBER
SANTANA'S POV
"So this is it...how do you feel?"
"Relieved. Especially since I get to finish this before the kids get here on Sunday."
"Our break officially ends on Monday...what do you think? Are we going to keep this thing going?"
I knew that it was a moot point to ask her this but I needed to hear her say the words.
For the last two weeks, I've left Sasha with Rachel and dated my wife.
Fucked my wife.
Talked with my wife.
And listened to my wife.
We were in our second week of therapy together and going to meetings together.
It was a version of our marriage that neither of us had ever seen before and I was happy but cautious.
I'd probably be that way for awhile and both Quinn and our therapist say that is okay.
And so I feel validated in my feelings and understood, which makes a hell of a difference.
"I hope so. I don't want to speak for you. For me though, I really am going to keep doing the work to be worthy of everything that we have built together."
"I can go along with that."
"And we are still on the same page about the kids right?"
I nodded.
"Yup, individual time with them...more family time...and church."
"Yes. Which you liked right?"
"Yeah. I mean, I never thought I'd like a place like that but they make it feel so comfortable."
"Good. If it's fine by you then, can we just call the break over now?"
"It was your break in the first place...so if you're done with it then so am I."
"Then it's over."
"Thank God."
The light was red and so I leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"Let's never do that again."
"Agreed."
"Although our Break sex was poppin'"
"I promise you, babylove, that isn't going to change."
"I'm holding you to that."
"You'd better."
QUINN'S POV
I checked my marinades and then grabbed the foil before heading out the backdoor into the yard.
We were welcoming the kids home today and having a Labor Day cookout to boot.
The sun was beaming hard even though it was early morning still and nearly fall.
My ankle felt weird now, without the extra weight on it.
It'd only been a full day since I was officially free and the habit of being able to step outside when I wanted felt odd.
But today, I was going to enjoy it.
"Q?" I turned my head to see Santana poking her head out our bedroom window.
"Hmm?"
"Rachel called."
"And?"
"She um...wanted to know if she could bring Dani."
I turned towards her, raising my eyebrow just once before going back to lighting the grill.
"Is that a no?"
"It's your call, Santana. It will only be weird if you make it weird. You said you two were better as friends, if that's still true then I'm cool...as long as you are."
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
"Okay, cool."
"You're not springing Brittany on me next, are you?"
"No...did I not tell you?"
She was already texting Rachel when I looked at her, because this time she had my attention, I walked closer to her not wanting our neighbors to hear any more than they probably had.
"What?"
"We had a HUGE blow out after Puck's funeral, I called her stupid and worse, we haven't spoken since."
"Oh. What brought that on?"
"I can't believe I haven't told you this...are you sure?"
"I've remembered EVERY SINGLE THING that you ever said about her."
"Okay...then."
"Spill."
"Well, after the funeral...when you were taking care of Beth...we got super drunk and she tried to come at me...with her fiance in the next room. I told her that I didn't see her like that anymore and she said a whole bunch of disrespectful shit so I had to put that bitch in her place once and for all. She cried and the next morning when she was sober, she called me and said that I had finally broken her. That we couldn't even be friends anymore. That she was disgusted by me and all that I had become. She said she wished I had died, that the Cancer comes back and I called her stupid because you know her mom died from Cancer. It was bad."
"Yeah, you definitely never told me any of that. I would have probably thrown a fucking parade."
"Well...there you have it."
"That's a lot to process."
"Feel free to bring it up in therapy...we can all talk through it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I love you for that, I don't know if I will but it's good to know that you're willing." I murmured, my head spinning from that whole story.
"I love you too, Luce. More than you know."
Her eyes were squeezed shut as her mouth hung open.
"Yes...yesssss...yesss...fuck! I love you...I love you...shit!" She squealed as I bit down on her neck.
We had two hours before everyone got here and we were making the best of it.
"I love you." I whispered to her and she responded by wrapping her arms tighter around me.
"Don't stop...so close."
I pressed into her as deep as my hand would go and her body went rigid.
"Don't hold back, love...this is the last time for a bit you get to be loud."
"YASSSSSSSS!" She screamed and I used the opportunity to slide from her arms and down her body. "Q? What...what are you doing?" I wrapped my lips around her clit and pumped my hand slowly, bringing her to another orgasm. "OH GOD...ay...ay...QUINN!"
And then she was tapping on my head trying to get me to stop but I wanted just one more and seconds later she let out an exhausted pant before trying to squeeze her thighs together and so I slowly pulled my hand and face away.
I kissed her thigh before slipping from the bed.
She had her eyes closed and her arms splayed open and was mumbling something.
"What was that?" I asked sweetly.
"Shower?" She asked, peaking one eye open.
I glanced at the clock and smiled big.
"Light some candles...open a window...I'll see you in there." I said before leaning in and kissing her forehead.
"Okay...kay...see you in there." She whispered looking like she'd fall asleep any second.
"Don't fall back asleep, unless you want Rachel to barge in here and see you like that, they'll be here in under an hour."
She sprung up, her eyes still closed.
"I'm up, I'm up."
One more round in the shower, this time it was me feeling like I couldn't stand, breathe, talk because she suddenly had a burst of energy.
And then she washed me down, rinsed me off and sent me on my way.
"If you stay in here another second, I won't be able to stop myself. Go be ready for our guests...you know I take longer than you."
"Then it should be you getting out first."
"Ha...you're probably right but she who gave the last orgasm gets to set the rules...so go."
"That is NOT a thing."
"Today it is...shoo or I'll make you regret it."
"Regret?" I flirted and she reached out and slapped my wet ass as hard as she could.
I yelped and she cackled. "Go."
"Fine but I'm going to get you back for that."
"Sure, sure, Fabray."
"It's still Lopez."
"And don't you forget it!"
"I don't plan on it, boo boo."
"Boo boo?"
"It's better than Muffin."
"I like yeast in my bagels only, Q."
I was about to say something else but the alarm was going off on my phone.
"Don't take too long...Rachel doesn't like me so much these days."
"I know...if you stop distracting me with those fucking abs, I'll move faster."
"Fair point. Byeee."
SANTANA'S POV
"You're glowing."
"Am I?"
"Yes...so is Quinn."
"Yeah? Is that not a good thing because you look annoyed."
Rachel rolled her eyes as she continued to corner me in the kitchen while everyone was in the backyard...including my kids, most of whom I have seen in two months.
"I just...tell me this isn't like all the times before when you two get really good sex going and nothing more than that...you're happy for awhile and then everything implodes."
"Seriously, buzz kill, you just have to rain down on my joy like that?"
"I'm a realist, Santana, I'm just looking out for you."
"You're a realist with everyone but yourself Rachel. You've always been telling the rest of us how to live our lives while you have been reckless and bull-headed. Not that it's your business to know but this time IS different because SHE is different. We are in therapy, we are in church, and WE talk now...like all the time about everything."
"I just..." I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest and she gave a slight shake to her head. "You're sure?"
"I am."
"Okay, then if you're sure...I'll back down."
"Thank you."
"But if she hurts you again..."
"Then SHE knows what happens and so do I. If I can learn to forgive her...me of anyone, Rachel, then you can forgive her too."
"You're right. I'm sorry."
"Thank you and before the day is over...maybe apologize to her too."
Rachel gave a great sigh and nodded.
"Fine. I'll apologize to Quinn too."
"Good now she made you a vegan buffet, please eat it and take it back home with you." I smirked and her jaw fell open.
"All of my hard work and you're back to eating meat just like that?"
"Her favorite food is bacon, did you really think I would last?"
"Silly me...I forgot how fickle your will power is." She teased and just like that we went from standing toe to toe to being friends again.
"Brody Weston." Was all I said and she withered.
"That was low."
"Keep messing with me, I can go lower."
"That won't be necessary...let's get outside then."
"Right, right...wouldn't want to corner you and keep you from your kid."
We were cackling together as we carried the rest of the food from the kitchen to the backyard and almost immediately, I caught Quinn's eye.
She was mooning over Beth's cropped haircut and no doubt telling her the story about her drastic hair dos over the years.
I blew her a kiss and she winked at me before going back to her conversation.
"See that was cute...I think I can get used to this newest incarnation of you two."
"Me too, Berry...me too."
"St. James."
"Mmmhmmm...tell your Tony and Grammy that."
"Berry is my professional name...you know that."
"Mmmmhmmm...glory hog."
"I am not a hog, Santana...I'm just preg..." And then she trailed off.
"Again?!" I screeched and the party came to a halt.
Rachel glared at me and I burst out laughing.
"How far?" I whispered.
"Three months...go ahead...you already have their attention."
I turned to the group...a mish mash of a few gleeks like Tina, Mercedes & Sam, their entourage and Sugar Motta...okay maybe that was it for the crew but that's all I can stand these days.
"So Rachel here is knocked up again." I announced and she threw her elbow against my side. "Ouch...sorry, Jesse and Rachel have another blessing on the way!"
"Much better."
"Wench." I muttered.
"Softy."
"Mind if I steal her from you?" Quinn asked as she reached for my elbow, her face soft and full of emotions. "Rachel, you have a minute?" She asked and I pretended to be affronted.
"Really, Q...here I thought you were trying to steal ME away."
"Oh hush...go talk to the kids, Rachel and I have some things to discuss. Don't look at me like that...either of you...it's no big deal."
I tried not to be nosy as they walked off towards Anthony and Sasha over by the sand box but I couldn't stop watching them...heads together just like old times.
"What's that about?" Dani asked as she came over to stand by me with a plate of ribs.
"I have no idea."
"So did you talk to her about it?"
"Not yet."
"Do you think she'd be down?"
"I wasn't sure I even wanted to ask her but now that things are better...I think she'd be game."
"Good...because if this works, I mean it will change everything."
"I know."
"Well talk to her soon, I'm getting anxious."
"Relax, everything in its time. I needed to work through some things first and now the kids are back so its going to be harder but I think we're going to be in."
"Just don't wait too long, Santana, please?"
"Okay, message received...now tell me, how are things without me?" I sang at her and she blushed.
"They're great, I've been over the moon with a couple of girls lately but none worthy enough for what we're trying to do."
"Of course not...you need a committed couple that isn't going to flake on you. I get it."
"Good."
"How do you like the ribs?"
"Amazing."
"Quinn made them...she spent a month in that place and came out like she'd been in there for years with rib recipes and all sorts knowledge."
"Well she is an overachiever...Yale in three years in nothing to sneeze about."
"You're right, you're right."
"Are you happy, Santana...like for real this time?"
"I think I am, D, I can't really pinpoint what it is but something has definitely changed. My guard is up still but I'm letting shit happen and if she keeps on being this version of herself, I think I'm about to get the marriage that I deserve."
"Finally."
"You got that right."
A/N: Two chapters in a week? Whaaaatt? I did that. :) Thanks for the love, chicas. Nice to know I'm not writing this to the wind. Love you guys. For realz.