Written Rivers
Book 2: A Tie Amongst Rivers
Chapter 15: A Violent Kind of Beautiful
Haku awoke the next day to light streaming down from the skylight in his room, warming his being and awakening his senses. It was still early and from the sounds of it, Chihiro was not awake yet.
After Chihiro met his river and lost consciousness, he could not help but feel at fault. He knew that his river's emotions tended to be stronger than his own but he did not think it would react so aggressively that it would overwhelm her. He made a point to go back after he took her to her bedroom after she woke up, to chastise his river and ask it to calm itself when around Chihiro.
Many claimed his river to have sucked out all the energy and optimism out of Haku, leaving a stoic stature of a man. This was most likely true, because even he had no clue where all the energy came from. But there was a reason his name was "Swift Amber River." Maybe his character split in his younger years, when he was reckless and spontaneous.
Haku shook his head and rose from his bed to dress. Knowing Chihiro she would not be up for a while if she could help it, he decided to check the borders and the ecosystem of the river. When he returned, he would prepare breakfast and wake Chihiro.
Going on patrol was simple. He walked or flew about the territory, checking on the local residents and providing any solace where needed if there was any quarrels amongst them. It was not unusual to need to do anything of the sort, it was how Makoto was found.
After he spent the early part of the morning patrolling, he found himself diving into the waters. The river welcomed him with a cold embrace as he submerged into the depths of the river, following the currant downstream. The river told him of the things that needed to be cared for and how the Human World counterpart was fairing as it grew and weaved its new path in the Human World.
Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary except the lingering feelings of remorse after what happened with Chihiro. As upset as he was with this extent of his nature, he did try to reassure his river that there was no actual harm done to the human girl. It sounded strange to be reassuring himself.
After he found everything to be settled and clear, he caught some fish for meals and swam upstream toward the cavern, feeling a shift in the river's mood as he approached the cavern. He slipped through a small underwater tunnel and into the small lake inside. The feelings of repentance and admiration echoed through the water as he came to the surface. Someone was standing on the shore and he watched from a distance. It was Chihiro.
"I promise you, I'm fine. You just caught me off guard is all." She smiled and knelt to touch the water in a soothing gesture. "Right, no harm done." She laughed.
The sound of her laugh was a contagious joy that spread throughout his body and river's. She was dressed simply in a deep burgundy kosode and her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, as though it was not redone when she woke. The rawness of her appearance was beautiful and he would not want her any other way.
"Kohaku…"
Haku refocused at the mention of his name and realized she was addressing the river.
"I don't know how the two of you communicate or if you'll tell him or if he'll just know, but I don't know what I'd do without you." She paused. "You literally saved me from drowning. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. And I've never properly thanked you. So." She smiled and bowed her head. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm truly indebted to you."
The river seemed to purr in response. He himself felt like he would purr if he were in his dragon form. But what he did feel, was honored. Honored to gain such gratitude from the one he loved. He hoped he never took it for granted.
"Truthfully…" Chihiro started again. "I'm scared. I don't know how to tell you when it comes time. I'm scared that my love isn't enough."
Empathy coursed through the waters as it sought to comfort her. Though practically silent to the common ear, the sound of her tears hit the water in what seemed like echoes to him.
"Kohaku, I owe my life to you and I love you with all my being. You've inspired me to love the world even when it's against me. To live for things outside myself. Even at my lowest, you are there to comfort me. Thank you." She knelt down and bowed lowly along the shore. "Thank you."
Haku ducked back under the water. He did not want her to know that he did in fact hear her. The river would provide the comfort she needed at the moment. He exited back through the underwater tunnel and resurfaced outside the cave entrance.
He knew her anxieties ran deep but it was still hard to see her in such a place of thought. He loved her and all he wanted to see was her happy. He would be the anchor she needed if it would make her smile. He would give her the words she needed to hear and remind her of all the reasons he loved her and thought that she was the most beautiful creature he had ever met. If it meant that she would be happy and without fears or anxiety, he would do almost anything.
He took a deep breath, dried himself off with the mutter of a spell and put on a simple kimono then walked down the cave entrance. His footsteps echoed against the walls, causing Chihiro to look up upon his entry. She promptly splashed water on her face to wash her tears and looked up and smiled at him.
"G'morning, Haku."
"Good morning, Chihiro. Did you sleep well?" Haku walked along the shore to where she was.
She wiped her face. "Yes, it was very comfortable and I slept like a baby honestly." She laughed. "I just came down to talk with the river properly."
"Have you got things sorted out?" He asked.
Chihiro smiled with her eyes. "I believe we have."
"Well I am glad." He held up the fish he caught. "Are you hungry? I caught breakfast."
Chihiro nodded earnestly and jumped to her feet. "Can I help?"
"Of course." He took her hand and they walked up to the kitchen where they began to move about the kitchen preparing breakfast. It was a quiet morning, the weather was nice and perfect for the hike he had planned for the day. He had planned a hike up the side of the mountain and a lunch with a view. It was moments like these he would wonder how a human made him become so sappy and romantic. When did that start?
After their early breakfast was finished, Haku took Chihiro out of the cave to hike along the river and up the mountain that lined the river. It was a steep hike up the mountain, but it was lined with a beautiful view of the amber forests that surrounded them. The sounds of nature filled the air and renewed his spirit. It was good to be back in his home to relax for a change. He had been back often since he regained his name, but they were never extended visits to relax, he was always there to work on the river, settle resident disputes, or speak with the god of the mountain itself. This was the first time, especially since inheriting the Bathhouse, that he had the chance to just relax and explore his territory without an agenda.
He helped Chihiro step across the boulders and streams that ran through the upper parts of the mountain, making light conversation as they went, explaining the sights and telling different stories of residents in the area. Most of the residents lived by the river and in the forests but a few lived up in the mountain areas where there was more foliage.
Chihiro seemed to be keeping a good pace and was curious as ever, asking about little things that she would notice on the mountain and small spirits that would catch her eye. It was always good conversation with Chihiro since she was always knowledgeable and articulate with her conversation. She knew the stories of the Spirit World and was always curious to learn more and not afraid to speak her mind. It was a trait he truly admired about her and he would not change it for the world.
As they walked along the mountain side, they came to a clearing near the top of the mountain and they set up for lunch. The clearing had a clear view of the surrounding land and the river that streamed through it. The sounds of the land blew in with the soft breeze that moved across the mountain side. Chihiro audibly gasped and awed at the marvel of it all, beaming with wonder.
"Around there is where I found Makoto." Haku said pointing in the general direction of a small clearing near the river out in the forest away from the cave.
Chihiro gazed on curiously and smiled, leaning back. "He really does look up to you."
"Makoto?" He mused. "You could say that, I did nothing but allow him access to the river. He is the one who offered his service."
"I don't think you really understand, Haku. He truly cares for you and is grateful for you. I've never heard him speak ill of you. Your word is law to him."
Haku smiled and patted her head. "I know. And he has told me so without words. You know how he is." She nodded. "Besides, his focus is currently on Rumi-San and their future. Which I have no qualms with."
"Their future?" She asked leaning on his arm. "What about our future?"
"Well, what do you want?"
She pondered for a moment before shifting her position so she was sitting on her heels and facing him directly, hands clenched at her knees. She looked him straight in the eyes. "To stay by your side. To be with you as long as fate allows, until my dying breath." She took a breath, closing and opening her eyes again, this time a gentleness behind them. "I want a family. If there's one thing that hasn't changed since I was a child, is that I want to be a mother one day. I want to pass on my stories and the history of the world that I can share with them. I want to teach them to love and respect the environment and to love and respect people, no matter who they are or what they look like or believe." She smiled to the sky. "I want them to be an example to the next generation. I want them to be that kind of person."
He stared at her look to the future that only she could imagine in the sky. Chihiro really was amazing. He had never thought about his future before meeting her, honestly, let alone family. Family was not really something he was originally raised to desire, nor was in a common craving in the sights of dragons. They mated for everything but love in most cases. Ryujin was a rare and stubborn case, but he was also much older than all the rest of them, his perspective on mateship was another level. But something about Chihiro made him hope for something to come. Something more that was beyond him. Maybe it was something he had always wanted but never knew he could desire.
"So."
Haku noticed he had shifted his gaze and Chihiro was looking at him with great interest.
"What do you want?"
He blinked and looked out over his territory. What did he want? He always had material things at his disposal to the point that they held no valuable meaning. He had all the power he desired at his fingertips and seldom had an urge to use it. What did he really want?
Haku leaned against his upright knee. "I… I want to pursue a future I can be proud of…" He glanced at her. "That you can be proud of. I have never really lived for anything outside myself, I never took what I have done in my life to heart, it was only my duty and responsibility that was my drive." He turned back to the forests below. "Even the river residents, I have never truly let myself get involved with them until the last century. I did in the beginning, but entitlement and a rebellious nature took over as I got stronger and gained more powerful friends. I lost sight of who I was and who I wanted to be as a god." Wind blew by and rustled their hair. "Even now, I have no recollection of what my original desires were. But, I found a new one recently and I do not intend on letting it go."
Chihiro's eyes smiled. "And what is that?"
"You. The Bathhouse. My residents. I suddenly feel like I want to be involved in everything thing I do, with everything I have. I want to be proud of my future and I want you to be there with me to hold me accountable." He looked her in the eye. "To remind me of this promise. And even if it is a short time in comparison to what I live, I want to be there for you every step of the way. I want to be part of your future. For the first time in my life I want something selfishly and with all my heart."
Chihiro just stared at him in wonder. "Really?"
He nodded. "I want nothing more than to have you as my mate one day, to hold by my side. When that happens, I promise to never let you go."
"Are you saying you'd let me go now?" She asked with mock horror.
"You just know how to ruin a perfect moment, don't you?" Haku lent forward and kissed her on the nose, causing her to squirm in embarrassment. He laughed. "Serves you right."
"Anyway." She grumbled. "I await the day, whenever it comes."
Chihiro smiled up at him and nuzzled his nose. It had become something like their love language and he wanted to keep it that way. He wanted to be able to keep this love language going even when her hair had greyed, when her eyes had lost their sight, and her ears lost their hearing, he wanted to keep their love language alive. He was going to ask her, but there were still some things he wanted to get out of the way before he made anything official with the ceremony that would need to take place.
After eating, they hiked a little further up the mountain and found a cave with an assortment of different crystals and jewels, leaving Chihiro in awe as she hovered her fingers above the different jewels. One day, he would give it all to her, and maybe the family she spoke of. Family was a far off dream he had yet to process even thinking about, yet alone the possible dangers of bearing a dragon spirit child. He was not sure when he or she would be ready. Knowing her, she would chastised him for such thoughts but he would take it.
Because she was worth it. She was worth any pain he would suffer on her behalf because he would always protect her.
Upon returning from the hike, Chihiro returned to her room to wash up and change into clothes suitable for swimming. However, after taking a bath, she somehow ended up laying across her bed and falling asleep. It had been a long and trying hike going up and back down. While she enjoyed it, it was during that hike that she realized just how out of shape she was. Bussing tubs and running around the Bathhouse wasn't cutting it in keeping her fit. She would have to find a way to fit a proper workout into her daily routine or at least hiking around the village and forests near the Bathhouse more often.
When she woke from her nap, the smell of something cooking is what caught her attention first with the sound of a growling stomach to follow. She wasn't sure for how long she slept but she it was long enough that the sun was starting to slowly make its descent, marking early evening.
Chihiro got up and dressed in the blue bikini and pale yellow sundress, taking a deep breath as she touched up her hair and simple makeup. While nothing was set in stone beyond their courtship, she still wanted to make herself look nice, not just for Haku but for herself as well. She wanted to add beauty to where it counted and boost her confidence even if it meant a little makeup.
She brushed out her hair and left it down with simple clasps holding her hair back and out her face. With that, she took a deep breath and stepped out into the hallway and followed the stream past Haku's room and the kitchen, where she double backed at the sight of Haku meal prepping for dinner. He was dressed in a casual jinbei and his hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. Something about this look was enticing to her because it felt intimate. This was a side of him that he saved for her and her alone and no one else was meant to see it. She appreciated this side of him and it only made her fill a little bit more selfish about having him all to herself.
Chihiro suddenly felt a bit bold and blushed at the thought of what she was about to do. She walked lightly across the room and snaked her arms slowly around his waist, letting the light touch of her hands drag along his back, hips and abdomen until the clasped together at his clothed navel. She could hear his breath hitch and hiss at the sudden language of touch that was introduced to him.
Chihiro snuggled against his back and mumbled, "dinner already?"
"I see you slept well." Haku chuckled, not letting her provoking distract from his prepping.
She let her fingers dance a little across his abdomen. "You could've woken me." She hummed, feeling him tense a little from her forward behavior.
"It was a long hike, I thought you could use the rest."
"Oh, how I have fallen to need a nap after a half day of hiking. Oh, have the mighty fallen!" Chihiro leaned away dramatically, pulling Haku with her.
Haku laughed and readjusted his stance, setting whatever he was using to prep down and turned enough in her arms to wrap one arm around her shoulders. "Oh have they fallen indeed." He looked into her eyes with a green intensity. "They have fallen far and hard for those brown opals and precious smile. For the strong courageous heart that lights them up." He caressed her cheek with his other hand.
Chihiro's cheeks warmed and she no longer felt that boldness from before. No, now all she felt was weak in the knees and like an embarrassed jumbled mess of nerves. He was throwing her flirting right back at her and it was far more effective than her own. Before she knew it, her mouth was flapping and making incoherent sounds that she couldn't even define as words.
She soon found herself covering her face and opting for burying her face in his side, causing him to laugh even more. He patted her head with the arm around her shoulders and brought her closer into a proper embrace, wrapping his arms around her as she blushed furiously into his chest.
"Obviously, something you were not as prepared for as you thought." He said nuzzling her hair.
She shook her head, burying further into his embrace. Anything to get away from the embarrassment. "Shut up…" She whined.
He laughed again and kissed the top of her head. "Isn't this refreshing…" He squeezed a hug and loosed the embrace to look down at her red face. "How about we finish prepping dinner and then have a swim?"
Chihiro peaked from behind her fingers. "I'd like that…" She mumbled, uncurling from his embrace and washed her hands. Haku effortlessly ran the kitchen, telling her what to prep and what to cook as he practically danced throughout the kitchen with ease as he cooked and cleaned as he went as though choreographed. Effortless was the only word she could think of to describe his movement around the room, making her feel more of a nuisance than a help in the kitchen.
After they were done with the making dinner they sat at the table in the kitchen and talked over good food. They talked about the river, the Bathhouse, the village across the river at the Clocktower at night and how someday Haku would take her there. It reminded her once again of their conversations in their dreams, simple yet meaningful conversation that just made her love him more.
When dinner and the dishes were done, Haku invited her to in the lake to swim, to which she agreed and they walked along the shore just holding hands for a bit until they sat at the edge of the shore. It was dark out now and she could see the moon starting to ascend higher into the sky through the opening above the water. The stars twinkled across the night sky, bringing the sounds of night with it.
"Funny how I didn't get to truly appreciate my official first night back in the Spirit World last year." Chihiro laughed softly.
Haku scratched the back of his head. "I cannot say I was not to blame during it all."
She laughed again. "Yeah, no. No you can't." She gazed at the sky again. "It was a night like tonight, with the stars dancing, and birds, spirits and insects singing their nightly song. Who knew it was just the signs of our entrance into the Spirit World."
"Yuuka did." He retorted.
"True, but I don't regret it." She stared off into space remembering all the pain that she'd gone through over the last almost two years. But alongside that pain, she grew and learned and lost and loved and found something to fight for. She finished school, a book and found the love of her life. She really didn't regret it, not anymore at least, and she honestly could have done without the pain sometimes. But it was now a good hurt.
Haku tightened his hold on her hand. "I don't either." He looked out at the sky too. "I would have done a few things differently but what's done is done and I can live with the choices I made. Especially the good ones involving you."
Chihiro blushed and muttered a small "shut up" under her breath, causing him to laugh. Haku then pulled her closer and kissed her. It was a soft kiss that rippled across her body, deepening as he leaned in, crossing an arm across her so she was under him. She gasped for air when he pulled back to nuzzle her nose and kiss her forehead, running his fingers through her hair in a soothing gesture.
She fell back on the sand and he looked over her, admiring her with his eyes. His long hair was loose and seemed to form a small world for them as they embraced the moment. It felt like nothing could ruin this moment and she wouldn't let it.
Haku brushed her face gently and touched foreheads. "Are you ready to swim?" He whispered.
Chihiro nodded and breathed as his hand traced her arm to her waist. The touch along her waist reminded her of what this all would lead to, what he would see. Her instinctive reflex was to hide the skin that bore the scars and it was becoming very real that the shame of her past was going to boil to the surface. Why did she do it? Why did she have to scar and taint her body?
At the realization of Haku seeing those scars, Chihiro's face flushed as the confidence and excitement from moments before vanished. This was suddenly all very real. She grimaced and turned away from Haku, curling in on herself as she tried to cover her flaws. She was scared - mortified at the thought of him seeing her in such a state of vulnerability and bareness where he could see her every flaw and weakness. Reason told her he didn't care but there was still that voice that asked: "What if he doesn't love me after what he sees? What if he walks away when he realizes what I've done?"
"Chihiro?" He cupped her cheek. "Chihiro? What is it?"
She shook her head and turned away again, effectively shaking off his hand.
"Chihiro…" He breathed. "What is bothering you so that you cannot look me in the eye?"
"I…" Her voice quivered. "I can't stop them…"
"Stop who?" He asked propping his elbow above her shoulder.
"The voices… the… the voices keep telling me that I'm not worthy of all this. That you'll… you'll hate what you see… that you'll walk away!" She covered her face as tears began to slip past her eyes.
Haku was silent, unspeaking, unmoving. This only terrified her further. Did she just confess her further demise? Was this what they called the self fulfilling prophecy? Did she just dig her own grave?
"What do you take me for?"
His voice was calm and even but almost reprimanding. She wasn't expecting this response. Curious, Chihiro peeked from behind her hands. The look of hurt that she had wished she'd never see again on his face reflected in his eyes. But that wasn't the only thing there. No, what overshadowed that hurt was determination and undevout love that stood like a mountain in a storm.
Haku closed those storming green eyes and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and smiled sympathetically at her. "Do I look so high and mighty that I would think so little of you? Have I shown you that I am so conceited and condescending that I would do this much just to tear it apart for your suffering? Honestly, I am hurt."
Chihiro felt her mouth begin to move but no sound came. It felt like something had stabbed her. She was suddenly aware of the feeling of hurt that the river was echoing of its counterpart. This wasn't the reaction she expected. Did she have so little faith in him? What was wrong with her?
"Chihiro." He started, his expression serious and even. "There is nothing you can do or have done that would change how I feel about it or how I see you. If anything, my past is far worse than anything you have done. I have not even touched the tip of the iceberg with you about what I have done. The fact that you love me so unconditionally without even knowing is both beautiful and frightening." He forced a smile. "You think you are the only one scared? I am scared too. I am scared that one day I will tell you something about me that is so horrifying and morally wrong that you will run as far as the east is from the west to get away from me. I am scared too." He then smiled genuinely. "But maybe we can be scared together."
Tears rolled down Chihiro cheeks in hot streams as she hiccuped in an attempt to hold back sobs. She didn't understand. How could someone love her that much? To accept all her scars and imperfections? Who was this man, this spirit, this god before her?
Haku reached with his free hand to wipe away the tears that couldn't stop flowing. He began to kiss her tears away, caressing her cheek as he kissed the corners of her eyes. The river also lapped at her, filling her mind with its love language. She felt loved and no amount of screaming from the voices in her head could tell her otherwise.
"I'm sorry." She said. "You're right… and I love you. And no matter what you say or do, I will never love you less. I'd be damned if that ever happened." She took his face in her hands and kissed him earnestly on the lips, throwing all her love back at him. And even that didn't seem like enough.
"Chihiro." Haku rasped, breaking the kiss. "I want to show you something else."
He rose and pulled her up with him. He shed his kimono so he was only in his fundoshi, causing her to look away in embarrassment. She took a breath and turned a whole other shade of red as she pulled the already wet dress over her head so she stood only in her bikini. She'd never even been to the beach in a bikini before, and this felt completely different from the beach. In the conservatively dressed Spirit World, she felt completely different than the scantily clothed Human World where it was the norm. She also knew how he saw her and what he could see, this was no different than wearing lingerie or nothing at all right now.
Haku noticed her hugging herself uncomfortably and took her hand. He smiled sympathetically and brought her hands to his face and flipped her hands over to reveal the now faint scars on her wrists. He kissed them and thanked them. He let go of her hands and traced her torso down to her waist and knelt to find the scars that stitched her hips and proceeded to kiss each scar and thank it.
All she could do was stand silently as he kissed each and every self harm scar that decorated her body. Tears streamed down her cheeks once again but his time out of pure wonder and gratefulness for the man before her. She would never be able to understand the extent of his love and compassion for her.
As he kissed and thanked the last of the scars on her thighs, Haku rose and kissed her on the lips. "Thank you."
"How?" She croaked, wiping her tears.
"Because I love you." He nuzzled her nose. "Always have and always will. And I believe in kintsugi, the art of precious scars. And your scars are ever precious and beautiful. There is another thing they say about scars too." He looked her in the eye. "They show that you survived. Now come."
He waded them out into the lagoon and they swam to a rock near the basin of the lagoon where the water overflowed and made its way down and into the river. He helped her onto the rock where they could see the moon lit brightly in the night sky.
Chihiro gasped in awe as she took in the sights and sounds of the world around her. She kicked the lapping water below her as Haku sat beside her. It was beautiful.
"How did you find your river?" She asked. She'd heard it before but it was one of her favorite stories and maybe he would tell her more.
Haku sighed. "After you returned to the Human World and I had my name back, I also remembered where I was - I being the river." He leaned back on his hands. "You know first hand that your name holds everything. It is your identity and purpose. When I lost mine, my river got the worst of it. With a lost name, comes a lost river. A lost river can very easily turn into a dead river. A dead river creates a lost spirit. A lost spirit creates a rapid spirit."
"A rapid spirit?"
"A rapid spirit is a spirit who is completely lost of itself. You can find a horde of them below the Bathhouse from Yubaba's days. I have not taken the time to properly rid of them yet. But a rapid spirit has lost its whole identity and no longer can return to its past self. The only way to prevent a dying river from making its spirit host into a rapid, is if the spirit cuts themselves off from the river or land they are attached to. A spirit can always be blessed with new land, but a rapid spirit cannot."
"But you didn't, you couldn't?"
He nodded. "I was away from the river long enough that it was still barely alive when I reunited with it." He seemed to shutter at the thought. "Any later and it would have been too late. It took time but I restored it to its former glory. However I was disconnected from the Human World. My river there seemingly lost forever." He paused and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "Well… at least until you found it."
Chihiro scoffed, blushing. "Don't give me too much credit…"
"And you do not give yourself enough credit. Thank you. Genuinely, sincerely, thank you. I would not be where I am today if it were not for you."
She smiled up at him and nuzzled his nose. "You're welcome." She leaned into him and looked out over the basin again. Haku followed suit and breathed in the fresh air.
"Have you ever seen the ocean, Chihiro? Is it not beautiful and calm. Yet it also has a coarse and violent nature. The ocean can either guide a lost sailor or pull him down into her depths."
Chihiro looked at Haku as he spoke, his eyes were beaming as he looked out over the basin. He turned to her with that same intensity.
"You. You are my ocean, Chihiro. You are my calm ocean breeze that guides me to shore, yet you are the waves that bring me under. You are my greatest strength... and greatest weakness. I do not know what I would do without you. You are the sea I will always come running to, for all rivers run to return to the sea." He turned to her and clasped her hands. "You are my ocean. My Kaiyo. My Kaiyo that I cannot be without. Let me run to you always. Be my anchor, my Kaiyo."
Chihiro gapped and tears brimmed her eyes. Was he-? Was he-? "Are- are you proposing? Is this what this is?"
"You could call it that." He laughed. "But I do love you, Chihiro, and I want you to stay by my side for as long as fate allows. I am tired of running away. I want to run to the ocean for the rest of my life. I want to run to you, Chihiro." He tucked her hair out of her face and brushed her cheek affectionately. "My Kaiyo."
Fresh tears spilled over once again. "Yes. Yes. Of course I'll stay by you! You have my heart Haku and nothing will change that. I love you, I love you, I love you!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and he met her in a deep passionate kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist and they leaned into each other, moving with one another until Haku leaned so far back they both fell into the water.
Haku held her close as he brought them to the surface and Chihiro began to laugh. "Maybe take this to a place a little safer."
"Agreed." He replied. He brought them to the shore, Chihiro's legs wrapped around his waist and her arms still holding his neck.
When they got closer to waist deep he pulled her closer and continued where they left off. Chihiro ran her fingers through his long moss colored hair, deepening the kiss and urging the dragon to return the feelings.
Once they were on the shore, Haku laid Chihiro beneath him, half still in the water. Haku began to explore her body with his hands as he kissed down her jaw and along her neck. Chihiro gasped and tilted her head to the side to allow him access, feeling him nip at her neck with gentle bites. She traced her hands over his back where his tone muscles rippled under her touch as he moved.
They began to remove what little clothing was left that separated each other from true vulnerability. It was the moment of truth and she confirmed with confidence in her mind that this was what she wanted. She wanted this and she wouldn't let it scare her anymore. And that's when it happened. They stilled and silently observed each other as they gasped for their breath. He was the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen. His emerald eyes piercing down at her as his long hair cascaded down to trap them in their own private world.
His eyes traced her body, taking it all it. "Beautiful…" he mumbled. "Absolutely beautiful." He nuzzled her nose once again, sending chills down her back as they began to kiss and move together in candid. Every touch was an expression of love and sincerity as they explored each other's bodies and learned what made the other tick, memorizing the landscape of the other. Every curve, every movement, every muscle, every breath was memorized and stolen away in her heart and mind. She would never forget this moment. She would never regret stomping into the Bathhouse that first day back, demanding Haku's attention one way or another. She'd never regret it, because she never would have made it to this moment if she hadn't.
Soon, they were in sync and Chihiro never felt closer to anyone. The sound of Haku whispering her name and sweet nothings in her ear made the moment that much better.
"I love you." She said with a shaking breath. "Haku, I love you." Her nails dug into his back and she arched into him.
"Chihiro." Haku replied, decorating her with open mouth kisses. "Chihiro. Never leave. Never forget or leave me again."
"Never." Chihiro said, hugging his neck. "Never in a million years will I forget you or this moment. It's not possible."
Haku looked her in the eyes. "All the creations of the ocean and the sky could compare or amount to the love I have for you. I will never leave you. I will never forget you, my Kaiyo. My Kaiyo." He kissed her earnestly on the lips. "I love you.. will you be my mate? My one and only?"
Chihiro strained a laugh and kissed him again. "I thought I already was."
Haku grinned and kissed along her jaw until he reached the base of her neck, where she leant away for access. He muttered "I love you," before sinking his teeth into her neck. Everything in Chihiro exploded in a scream that echoed off the walls of the cavern and into the surrounding lands, but she didn't care. Let them know that she now belonged to Haku. That she was now the mate of Nigihami Kohaku Nushi.
"Now and forever."
Haku's voice echoed in her head. She started and stared at him but he gave nothing away as he licked and kissed the new bite marks on her neck. Was it her imagination? He'd tell her, wouldn't he? She ran her fingers through his hair, muttering sweet nothings to him as they settled into the moment, catching their breath.
The night continued on, ending in Chihiro and Haku laying comfortably in each other's arms in Haku's room. At some point, they moved their ventures inside and had been there ever since. Chihiro felt warm and secure for the first time in what felt like forever as Haku gently combed his fingers through her hair. She had a long way to go with herself but at least she had one part figured out. She was never so sure about anything, but after everything she'd been through with him, she knew this was right.
The human girl snuggled closer to her dragon and nuzzled his neck. A purr like sound came from the back of Haku's throat, causing her to inwardly chuckle at his somewhat childish behavior. The quiet moment was something beautiful and she just wanted to bask in it.
Haku brought her closer and reached to his side table drawer for something. Before she could move to even see what it was, he hid it from sight and nudge her to sit up with him. She sat up, holding the blankets close to her bare body. Haku then came behind her and started styling her lose hair.
"What are you doing?" Chihiro laughed nervously.
"You will see." She could hear his smile in his voice.
Soon her hair was in a half up bun with small braids trimming the hair that led to the bun and some sort of clasp holding it all together. She couldn't quite see it, but she could feel the braids and what felt like a wooden bracket with a wooden pin to hold it in place. It felt like there was something embedded in the wood.
"Here." Haku said, handing her a hand mirror.
She took the mirror and looked from the side to see what it was. She could hear Haku's muffled chuckles as she tried to see the back of her head. "Dummy." She scoffed before seeing that it was a dark, wooden hair piece that did indeed have a matching pin as well as blue and green jewels from the cave embedded in the bracket and the end of the pin. She smiled brightly and looked up at the man behind her.
"Thank you."
Haku smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Of course." He ran his fingers through her hair and traced his arms around her to envelope her in a hug, breathing her in. He whispered in her ear, "I love you, my Kaiyo."
She snuggled into his embrace and turned her head to nuzzle his nose. "And I you, Haku. And I you."
A/N:
(Edit: I was rereading the chapter and had to go back and revise the mating scene. It didn't feel right and it seemed rather lackluster from all that build up. So I went back and rewrote it.)
If you didn't figure it out. Kaiyo (海洋) is the word for "ocean". He literally calls her his ocean. I'm really proud of this pet name. ;)
A lot of this has been from Chihiro's perspective and I feel like I've neglected Haku in a way, but a lot of the scenes have been better from her perspective. *sigh* I'm sorry Haku.
I have to appreciate Chihiro. Although she's overcome a lot of her anxiety and still dealing with it every day, she still finds a way to pull herself out. I've had those kind of friends and friends that weren't. I even struggle daily with my own anxiety (ADHD being the root cause amongst other things...), so to be able to write about a character that chooses to overcome her mental illnesses and succeed (no matter how little) is really encouraging for me and I hope others that struggle with mental illnesses. It feels like I write Chihiro in anxiety cycles but that's reality, isn't it.
If you didn't know, Kintsugi is the art of fixing and filling broken pottery with gold sealant. It's a beautiful analogy of redeeming the brokenness of life. :)
Oh, I've avidly been trying to study my Japanese lately, and it is subtly changing the way I phrase things and write conversations in the story. It's kinda cool and confusing at the same time. Lol
Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! And for those that do review, I thank you a bunches!
Thank you for the reviews from: picklesisadeadcat, RSBCS, Rosettaxfantasy, Kra, Turniptree, Sypherpol, chimera-writes, lackadaises, coolchick87, CluelessPaige, AlexAngel14, MorbidVisionary, and Ai Star.
God bless! KawaChou