Loki woke up to the mother of all hangovers...and his mother nearby, looking incredibly amused.
"I'm not back on Asgard, am I?" he asked groggily.
"You are not. However your young friend saw fit to 'borrow' me from the palace since he realized you weren't getting better like usual," said Frigga. In her lap was a very playful Freya, attacking a cat toy Peter had given her.
It was quite...relaxing.
Loki glared at Peter, who held a hangover potion just tantalizingly out of reach.
"You need to have a nice, long chat with your mom. One that should have been done centuries ago," said Peter. Loki downed the potion, grimacing at the taste.
"What sort of chat?"
"And I'm out," said Peter quickly. "I'll take you to the former home of the dark elves so you can destroy shit and work out the shock later."
Loki was incredibly suspicious now, but then Frigga dropped the massive bombshell on him.
"I'm what?!"
Peter winced at the shout. That could have gone so much worse, and honestly Odin was a damn idiot to keep that from him in the first place. Frigga had looked tired, but understood that there was little reason to keep it from him, and this way Loki could vent without it being held against him.
Odin never did like it when Loki spoke his own mind or opinion...particularly if it ran counter to his own.
Loki came out looking angry, hurt, and so lost that it was downright painful.
The look of confusion on his face when Peter pulled him into a much needed hug was even worse.
"Did you know?" he asked, his voice raspy.
"Yeah. Thor mentioned it when Thanos brainwashed you into invading New York, and set the Chitauri loose," said Peter calmly. "Being adopted isn't the end of the world."
"I was raised to be a king!" said Loki. "And all I ever was to him was a damn trophy!"
"To Odin, probably. There was a reason I called him a shitty parent," said Peter. "But what about Frigga?"
Loki paused.
Nearby, Frigga watched their interaction.
"What about her?"
Peter sighed.
"Family doesn't end in blood. Frigga may not have given birth to you, but it's pretty damn clear she is your mother. Adopted or biological doesn't matter," said Peter calmly.
Loki paused, hearing the complete sincerity in his worlds.
"What would you know?"
"My parents died in what we thought was an accident. Their vehicle was sabotaged. My aunt and uncle stepped in and took me in, raising me as their own. When I first got my powers, my uncle told me this. Great power comes with great responsibility," said Peter simply. "I might not have been their son, but that didn't make me any less their child."
Loki...didn't hear any lies from him. There was complete sincerity and no small amount of empathy in his words.
"What would you have me do? How can I go back knowing the truth?"
Peter snorted at that.
"Why did you think we kidnapped you in the first place? You needed to step out of Thor's shadow. Being in that place was crushing you," said Peter simply. "And again, we're going to the dark elves world so you can blow shit up and get it out properly."
Some time later...
Wade and Peter were calmly eating popcorn, with Loki going completely nuclear on the beasts Peter was teleporting in.
Loki had to admit, this was a great stress relief. Being able to use his higher tier spells without worrying about collateral damage was doing wonders for his mood. It felt great to go all out without having to worry about outshining Thor or hearing Odin bitch about the consequences.
"Incoming bilgesnipe!" Peter called out with cheer.
Loki paused, took a breath and braced.
"Holy...talk about u-gly!" said Wade.
"Yup," agreed Peter cheerfully.
Seeing Loki winding down, Peter waited for him to finish. Loki paused and looked for any other opponents.
"Not going to continue?" he asked.
"Feel better?" asked Peter.
Loki paused, thought that over before a slight smile spread across his face.
"Much, actually," he admitted.
"What did I tell ya? The best way to deal with bad news is to blow shit up and cause property damage you don't have to pay for!" chirped Peter. Wade nodded enthusiastically to that.
Loki accepted the water with some relief. Peter was right, and he did feel like a great weight had been lifted since Frigga told him of his adoption.
Being around the three had done wonders for his mental health. He could be as big of an asshole as he wanted, and they matched him tit for tat. It was beyond refreshing, and none of them took offense to his barbs. If anything, he found himself chuckling at Peter's retorts, or Wade's inane banter.
It was nice...having friends that understood.
"What the fuck is that supposed to be?" said Wade incredulous.
"Is...is that an octopus?" said Peter, mostly in disbelief. Then he looked at the bottle he was holding. "I might be a bit drunk, but I'm not drunk enough to mistake a damn octopus for a hydra. Like seriously, what the actual hell were they thinking?"
"I fail to see how this is intimidating," said Loki.
"I know right? They're using a damn octopus instead of, I don't know, a kraken. How does this invoke the feeling of fear?" said Peter. "If anything this would confuse the fuck out of a history or Greek mythology enthusiast because there is almost nothing remotely similar between a hydra and a freaking octopus!"
The symbol in question was the emblem for the terrorist group known as Hydra. Which had Peter really questioning who was doing their PR marketing, and how they could have botched something as basic as researching what the actual thing looked like.
Nearby, Steve Rogers watched in confusion as the trio (plus a cat, for some odd reason) complained about how stupid the symbol was and how Schmidt was a damn idiot for not fixing it the second he broke away from Hitler's influence.
Peter was flabbergasted about how someone who had apparently done his research to find the damn Tesseract in the middle of nowhere could have missed something this obvious.
"You really hate this thing, don't you?" said Bucky. Which only drew the attention of the trio.
"Well shit...I didn't think we'd run into the Howling Commandos too," said Peter exasperated. "Also, they're Nazis and I'm American. I'm required to hate them on principle for being hypocritical assholes with fake superiority."
Wade made a fake gasp of shock.
"Are you saying that Canadians don't have a reason to hate them too?"
"You came from Regina, which rhymes with fun, and most people don't even remember most of what Canada contributed to WWII," said Peter dryly. Wade cackled.
"Why would that rhyme with fun?" asked Steve, utterly confused.
Behind him several of his men were trying desperately not to laugh, once they realized what it rhymed with. Bucky included. Peggy would not be pleased when Steve asked her to clarify what they found so funny later.
Peter and Wade paused in their bickering to stare at him, before Peter started snickering, hard.
"Right, forgot he was a total boy scout before Tony corrupted him," said Peter gleefully. Loki snorted at that.
"Who are you people anyway?"
"We're on our way to the Winchester, and someone gave me the wrong damn coordinates so we ended side-tracked, again!" said Peter, glaring at Wade.
"How is it my fault? You wanted to blow up some Nazis too!" said Wade.
"Are they always like this?" asked Steve to Loki.
"It grows on you. Besides, I can only imagine how these...Nazis...will react to Peter's familiar," said Loki dryly.
Freya let out an innocent "meow". Loki smirked at the soldiers, who had no idea what true horrors lay beneath that harmless looking fluffball.
A short time later...
Steve looked at the dubious tankard, but downed it anyway. He had to blink a bit in shock.
"Wait...am I actually getting drunk?" he said, looking at the liquid inside with amazement.
"Yeah, fun fact...Asgardians have a much, much higher tolerance for alcohol and spend literal centuries mastering their brewing technique. A small cup of that would likely kill your normal friends in short order from alcohol poisoning...but for the enhanced, it's enough to get us properly buzzed," said Peter cheerfully. Steve looked very happy hearing that.
Ever since he became enhanced, enjoying a proper pub crawl had lost it's appeal. There wasn't as much fun drinking with friends if you were stuck eternally sober.
"What about him?" asked Steve, pointing to Wade who was happily in an arm wrestling contest between him and Bucky.
"Enhanced healing factor soldier boy!" Wade called out. "My mutation is the only thing keeping this hot piece of ass alive!"
"Wade became enhanced after a terminal cancer diagnosis," explained Peter. "The mutation really is the only thing keeping him alive...and it also means he can't really die from the sheer alcohol content."
"Doesn't mean he hasn't tried though," snarked Loki, sipping some high quality wine he had pilfered.
He still found it very entertaining seeing the soldier's expression when he had Freya hide the entire content of that rich German bureaucrat's wine cellar. It served him right for supporting such scum, and they were blowing up the place regardless. It would have gone to waste otherwise.
Was a bit odd running into that Hogan fellow and his comrades, but he had been all for looting the cellar to avoid wasting quality wine. Loki found it vastly entertaining to see the "prisoners of war" take the German hostage. Especially since Hogan knocked the man out with one of his own wine bottles, then pretended to be him to kiss the pretty woman the other man had been with.
He could only wonder what they planned to do with him, but it wasn't his business.
Peggy walked in, mostly to see what they were doing.
Wade had beaten Bucky in the contest of strength, and immediately went to hit on her. Peter ignored it, and looked amused at the annoyed look on Steve's face.
Peggy looked more irritated than amused, and that she sincerely wished to shoot him. Wade's mouth was that irritating.
Peter decided to throw the lady a bone, so to speak.
"Ms. Carter, I would like to inform you that the dumbass trying to flirt with you has an enhanced healing factor, and thus would survive you shooting him in the balls like he clearly deserves at the moment."
"Really now," said Peggy, glaring at Wade.
Steve and every other man (except Peter) winced when Peggy decided to test this, leaving Wade a whimpering mess on the floor.
"Traitor!" said Wade, clutching his poor manly bits...or what was left of them at the moment.
"This from the man who literally got ripped in half and was the size of a three year old because he pissed off the Juggernaut?" he shot back.
"Fuck you Spiderboy!" said Wade.
"At least I'm not singing soprano!" Peter shot back with dark glee.
Loki was watching the usual byplay with dark amusement, and no small amount of schadenfreude. To be fair, Wade usually deserved such treatment.
"We have another lead on a Hydra base," said Peggy.
"More like Kraken," snarked Peter without missing a beat.
"Excuse me?"
"That's a damn octopus, not a hydra," said Peter flatly. "While they do regenerate lost limbs, they are not even remotely similar mythology wise."
"Are you still going on about that?" said Loki.
"You know what, screw this. I think it's time for these fakers to see what a real damn hydra looks like!" said Peter irate. "Their logo is just plain stupid!"
Loki was downright gleeful recording the expression on the human's faces when Peter shifted into his "King Ghidorah" form, as Tony had once called it.
"Now that's a proper freaking hydra!" said Wade. "I am so happy he can finally do that again!"
"Again?" said Steve, dumbstruck.
"Keep running you fascist assholes! Even Godzilla isn't coming to save your sorry asses!" cheered Wade.
"I...am not even going to ask..." said Loki.