After dropping Brittany off at her dorm, Santana's thoughts drift to what they did last night. It felt amazing—physically, of course, but in other ways as well. It felt good to know Brittany wanted to touch her, to be totally accepted, to hold Brittany in her arms. Then, she thinks about how Brittany stopped her before she came. She hadn't been touching the blonde for very long; could Brittany really be unable to orgasm? Does that happen?
As she pulls into the parking lot of her apartment, she types "how long does it take a girl to orgasm?" into her phone. She's immediately overwhelmed by the results and decides to try a more direct query: "how to make a girl orgasm." That's even worse, and the results are pretty much just porn. Giving up on the internet, she thinks that maybe she should go to a more credible source; Quinn has a vagina, and Santana knows she can talk to Quinn about everything.
Getting out of the car, she enters their apartment, where Quinn is humming in the kitchen while cleaning out the fridge. "Hey, I just came back to do that. Need any help?"
Quinn turns around and offers her a smile, as if to say, "Thanks, but I've got it."
"Hey Q. This is kind of embarrassing...but can I ask you for advice?"
"Is this about Brittany?"
"Yeah."
"Want to know how to ask her to be your girlfriend?" Quinn smiles gently at her.
"No, I kind of…accidentally on purpose did that already. But don't tell her I told you. We want to tell everyone together at dinner."
Quinn raises an eyebrow but nods. "Sure. So what's up?"
"Have you ever...uh...had, like...an orgasm?" Santana ducks her head in embarrassment, and Quinn coughs in surprise.
"What the hell? Where is this going?"
"Last night, Brittany and I did stuff, and it was awesome. But then I—" Steeling herself, she takes a deep breath, trying to be as adult about this as possible. "Then, I fingered her, and she didn't orgasm...so I was wondering if you have? Because I have some questions."
"Um. First of all, congratulations, I think. Second, sure I have...but what does this have to do with Brittany?"
"How long did it take you?"
"It's different for everyone, San. How long were you…touching her?"
"Less than 10 minutes, for sure."
"And you just stopped?! It usually takes way longer than that, dumbass." Quinn smacks her arm.
"Ow! No, I didn't want to stop! Jeez, Q!" She rubs her upper arm where Quinn had hit her. "She stopped me. She said she can't orgasm and that...she's broken." Santana divulges the last part with some hesitation. She knows that everything Brittany said was confidential, but she also trusts that Quinn would never say anything, and she doesn't know who else to talk to about this.
"I thought you said she had a boyfriend before? Did they not sleep together?"
Santana can feel her blood boiling. "Well...he slept with her is the better way to put it. It's not my story to tell. But basically, he never cared about her and fucking used her as a sexual object, Quinn. Just a fucking receptacle. She thinks he broke her." Horrified, she claps her hand over her mouth; she hadn't meant to say any of that, but she's just so angry that Brittany is still dealing with, and will maybe always have to deal with, the lasting effects of that abuse.
Gently, Quinn takes her forearm to pull her hand away from her mouth. "It's okay, San. This is between us. I won't ever tell anyone, okay?" Santana nods, still slightly angry at herself. "Look, this is my advice. Every single girl is different. Vaginas aren't universal, just like the girls they're attached to. If Brittany thinks she's broken, it's probably just because nobody ever cared enough to show her how she works, and she never had a positive enough view of sex to want to figure out how she works—until now, which is great. But she's probably nervous, even if she's comfortable with you, so maybe that's what you need to do—get rid of the nerves."
"How? I mean, we had candles, and I tried to go slow."
Quinn lets out an amused groan. "Candles and romance are great, San, but I think you guys should talk about it. Tell her you like making her feel good, and as long as it still feels good, you want to keep going, and that if you get tired or want to stop, you promise you will. That way, she'll be less inclined to stop you. If she does, that's okay. She's allowed to be nervous. It sounds like nobody has ever used sex as a way to show her that they care about her...which is really sad. So you need to make sure you do. Okay?" Quinn is blushing up to her hairline. She's never had this kind of conversation before, but it helps that Santana is nodding at her and taking in every word like she wishes she could be taking notes.
"Thanks Q. I really appreciate all your help. If you ever need to know anything about penises, I can help."
They both laugh, and Quinn turns around to face the fridge again. "So...girlfriends, huh?"
A smile breaks out across Santana's face; although Quinn can't see it, she can hear it in her voice. "Yeah. It's pretty amazing. She's amazing, Q. I'm scared, because I like her so much, and I haven't known her that long, but the fear is only in the logical part of my brain. Emotionally, I feel more comfortable with her and with these feelings than I've ever felt in my entire life." She kicks her feet a little and bites her bottom lip.
Her words make Quinn a little sad; she wishes that she could have done more to make Santana feel comfortable. "I'm really happy to hear that, S. Also...I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to upset her."
"Oh, yeah. I guess I'm supposed to be upset about that. Oh well. Don't do it again, or I'll kick your ass. That's my girlfriend, you know." Santana can barely contain her excitement at the words, and all threat is totally lost.
"Yeah yeah, I promise." Rolling her eyes, Quinn throws away the last of the fridge and freezer contents, then hears Santana's phone ping. "Brittany?" she guesses.
Santana picks up her phone to check the text.
From Brittany: You're sure it's okay if I spend the night again? If so, I'm ready!
To Brittany: I'll be sad if you don't stay. I'm on my way, see you soon!
"Is it cool if she stays over sometimes, Q?"
Unsurprised, Quinn looks up from tying the garbage bag; she'd assumed this would come up sooner or later. "As long as she's respectful to our apartment, which I know she will be, and as long as I don't have to hear you two going at it, of course she can stay here." Quinn likes Brittany. She's easy to be around, and she definitely makes Santana a calmer person.
Hopping off the counter, Santana kisses Quinn's cheek. "Thanks for everything, Q," she says sincerely.
"Anytime, S. And take out some of this garbage."
Santana grabs a few bags and heads out to her car. By the time she texts Brittany to let her know she's outside, it's starting to rain again, so she gets as close to the door as possible. After a few minutes, Brittany opens the door, runs towards her car, throws her stuff into the backseat, and jumps into the front seat, squealing. "The rain is cold!"
Santana laughs as she turns the heat up, then grabs Brittany's hands to help warm them. Brittany leans across the console to kiss Santana, nipping her bottom lip playfully, then buries her face in Santana's neck. "You're warm." She kisses her there before pulling back. "I missed you."
"Missed you too, B."
They drive back to Santana's apartment in comfortable silence, Santana thinking about what she and Quinn had discussed, Brittany thinking about how the others will take the news of their relationship—probably pretty well, she hopes. None of their friends have arrived yet, and Quinn is in her room. "Cuddle with me until the others get here?" Santana asks. When they get to Santana's room, they kick off their shoes and get on the Latina's bed, where Brittany promptly kneels on top of Santana, then lowers herself until her lips are pressed against Santana's, her blonde hair surrounding them.
The kiss stays like that, their lips just pressed together, for a brief moment before Santana turns her head slightly to deepen the kiss. Their lips start moving together, and the kiss grows more heated. Santana brings one hand up to Brittany's cheek and the other to her waist. When she feels Brittany's tongue trace her bottom lip, begging for entrance, she parts her lips, half sighing and half moaning as she feels the blonde's tongue glide past her lips and gently stroke her own. Although Brittany isn't sure she'd meant for this to turn into a full-blown makeout session, she can't say she's unhappy. Her girlfriend tastes amazing, like mint and sugar and Santana, and it's quickly becoming Brittany's favorite flavor. When she starts to feel the now-familiar sensation of arousal tugging between her legs, she slows the kissing before pulling back, laying one more quick peck to Santana's lips, opening her eyes, and looking into big brown ones staring back at her.
They smile at each other, and Brittany nuzzles her nose against Santana's before scooting down and laying her head on her chest. While Santana absently runs her fingers through the blonde's hair, noting how soft it is, Brittany runs her fingers along Santana's belt, feeling the texture of the leather. Brittany's mind is racing; she desperately wants Santana to touch her, but the idea of disappointing the Latina because her body doesn't work right upsets her. Slowly, she lets her fingers slip down to the small sliver of skin showing just above Santana's belt and feels the brunette's breath catch.
"What are you thinking about, B?"
"A lot of things. Can you get hard in these compression shorts?"
Santana lets out an awkward laugh. "Yeah, I can. It's just really uncomfortable if I get completely hard. That's only happened once, though. Usually, I can kind of stop it." However, she doubts that'll continue to be true with Brittany around. She can already feel herself stiffening at the impromptu but extremely welcome makeout session that had happened moments ago. Brittany hums in acknowledgement of Santana's answer, and Santana thinks it might be an okay time to bring up last night. "Hey B, why did you stop me last night when I was, you know, doing stuff to you?"
"I didn't want you to keep going and get tired or something...it was taking so long."
"It really wasn't, though. I mean…you've never had an orgasm, right?"
Brittany shakes her head. She's pretty sure she can't.
"And you've only slept with Tom—that douchebag, right? Have you ever tried to touch yourself?" Santana can't bring herself to say his name out loud; knowing how much he hurt the woman in her arms makes her hate everything about him, even his name.
"Yeah. Just him. Um...I guess I tried to touch myself a few times. I'd heard a lot about how good sex feels, and I thought maybe he was just doing it wrong, but touching myself didn't feel very good either."
"Did you think about something that turns you on when you did it? Or like…I don't know, watch porn or look at pictures or anything?" This conversation is awkward, but Santana knows that sex is important in a relationship. She also knows that she needs Brittany to enjoy it, because she refuses to ever treat her like an object for her own pleasure, and that's what it would feel like to her if Brittany wasn't as into it as she was.
"No. I just kind of did it. Just, uh...stuck my hand down there and felt around."
Santana laughs, and Brittany lightly hits her arm, blushing. "Okay, so...Quinn and I have talked about sex, and I know that you felt like I was touching you for a long time, but it really wasn't. It was less than 10 minutes, I'm pretty sure, and Quinn said that it can take a while—like it's not weird for it to take half an hour, sometimes. You seemed to enjoy what I was doing—"
"I did. I really did. It felt better than anything ever. I'd never been that..." Brittany hesitates slightly, "wet before. But I don't want you to feel like you need to do that for me, for that long…I would feel bad."
Santana shakes her head and kisses the fingers of Brittany's hand that she'd been playing with. "That's silly, babe. I would literally do it for hours if it kept feeling good for you. I really, really, really like touching you. I was kind of sad that I had to stop."
Brittany tucks her head further into Santana's chest and is silent for a few moments. When she hears a shy "really?" from the blonde, Santana reaches down and guides Brittany to look at her, wanting to make sure she can see just how much she means her next words. "Really. I want to try again, if you'll let me. And I'd like for you to not stop me, unless you don't want me to touch you anymore." Brittany makes a small noise of protest, and Santana cuts her off. "I promise to stop if I get tired or don't want to do it anymore. Obviously, we can't try right now, because we have to go to dinner...but maybe sometime soon?" Brittany bites her lip, considering Santana's words before nodding. Santana's eyes light up. "Yeah? Awesome." She sits up and kisses Brittany lightly. When they part, Santana pulls Brittany back down to her chest and holds her tightly, excited, nervous, and hopeful for the opportunity to help Brittany get the same enjoyment out of sexual activities as she does. Although she wishes that she had a little more experience to help her do it right, Brittany had seemed really into it for that brief time last night, so she thinks that maybe it'll be okay.
Before she can get any further into her thoughts, she hears a knock at her door. Knowing it's Quinn, she says, "Come in" and continues holding Brittany to her.
When she opens the door, Quinn notes the two girls completely tangled up in each other and smiles. "Just letting you know that everyone is here and hungry." She winks at Santana, then leaves and shuts the door.
After they kiss again and get up, Brittany fixes her hair quickly in the mirror as the nerves start to set in. "They're going to be okay with this, right?"
Santana comes up behind her and puts her arms around her waist, resting her hands on Brittany's flat stomach. Nodding, she kisses the juncture of her shoulder and neck. "More than okay, baby. Don't be nervous."
Brittany turns around in Santana's arms and puts her own around the Latina's neck, pulling her close in a tight hug. After a brief minute, she pulls away. "Okay, I'm good. I just needed a stand-up cuddle." Confused, Santana cocks her head. "You know...like a hug, but I hold you closer than I do with any other hugs, so it's like a stand-up cuddle." Santana chuckles and brushes a piece of hair behind Brittany's ear before they hold hands and leave the room.
Just before they enter the living room, Santana drops her hand; she doesn't want anyone asking before they're ready to make the announcement. Everyone is discussing where they want to eat, but she doesn't care where they go. She's more excited to share their news. Eventually, they decide on some vaguely Italian place.
"This will be your first time at Breadstix?" Mercedes asks Brittany as they drive there. Santana and Mercedes are sitting in the front, with Sam and Brittany in the backseat. Quinn, Kurt, and Kurt's new "friend," Blaine, are in another car behind them. Brittany responds in the affirmative, and Mercedes exclaims, "Brittany, unlimited breadsticks!"
"That's right, girl." Santana cuts in and reaches back for a high-five from Brittany. While she loves the breadsticks, she mostly just wants to take focus off of Brittany, who seems to be growing more anxious by the minute. She knows it's unnecessary for the blonde to feel that way but has no idea how to assuage her fears, other than telling everyone—which she plans to do as soon as they're seated, because she misses the feel of Brittany's hand in hers.
They walk into the restaurant, glad to find it isn't too crowded, and are seated right away. After the waitress takes their drink order and walks away, Santana glances at Brittany, who is playing with her hands under the table. While Brittany doesn't think anyone here will be upset at them for starting a relationship, they're her only friends since she hasn't made any friends in her classes yet, and the idea of any of them disliking her or thinking she isn't good enough for Santana makes her sad.
Wanting to end the blonde's anxiety, Santana decides to go for it. "Hey guys," she says out loud, and everyone looks up from their menu. "I...well, we wanted to tell you all that" she takes Brittany's hand, "we are officially together." Silence. "As in, girlfriends."
After a pause, Kurt looks around the table and asks, "Oh. Am I the only one that assumed they already were?" Everybody laughs.
"I'd say 'about time,' but it's only been like two weeks or something. Anyone can see that you guys fit together; I thought so the first day. So yeah, about time." Sam smiles his big smile at them, and suddenly, Brittany knows it'll all be okay. She chances a glance at Quinn, who she'd been most worried about upsetting, but Quinn is beaming at her and nods when they make eye contact. Brittany breathes a sigh of relief; it's okay, they're all still her friends, and Santana's hand is still in hers. Suddenly, she's starving.
After dinner, they all drive back to Santana and Quinn's apartment, where they pull out a few bottles of wine and start playing Apples to Apples by candle and flashlight. After hours of playing and much laughter, everyone decides to leave. As Mercedes hugs Brittany, she tells her, "This is my obligatory 'hurt her and I'll hurt you' speech." Then, she promptly turns to Santana. "Same goes for you. You hurt my Brittany, I will end your scrawny ass." Brittany is touched by Mercedes's protectiveness; nobody had ever said anything like that on her behalf to Tommy.
Sam comes over next and hugs Brittany, lifting her off the ground. "I'm so excited for you two." He kisses her on the cheek.
"Yo, Trouty Mouth! Get your guppy lips off my woman." Everyone laughs, and Santana forces one too. She's only kind of serious, but really, that cheek is hers to kiss.
Everyone leaves, and Quinn retreats to her room for the night. While Brittany is pulling her pajamas out of her bag, she remembers their talk from earlier that evening. "Hey San. I know we talked earlier about doing stuff...and I want to, but would it be okay for us to just cuddle tonight?" Before Santana even has a chance to respond, Brittany starts to backpedal. "Well, we can do whatever you want. I'm a little tired, but—"
Santana pulls her into a hug. "I'm really tired too, and I've got this beautiful girlfriend that I'd really like to just hold. Brittany...please try to remember that we don't ever have to do anything you don't want to."
Brittany nods as a slow smile spreads across her face. "Get changed. I want to cuddle."
"That's more like it." Santana responds as she bends over to pick up a pair of shorts. Brittany smacks her butt before grabbing her clothes and running out of the room to the bathroom.
When Brittany gets back, Santana is already laying in bed, clearly waiting for the blonde. She quickly crawls into her girlfriend's arms and wraps a leg around her hip, pulling her close. They share a few lazy good night kisses before Santana falls asleep, and Brittany props herself up on one elbow to watch the Latina sleep and admire her beauty. As she does so, her thoughts drift to her conversation with Santana. Maybe she was wrong; maybe she's not broken, maybe her body works fine when it's with Santana. What she had done had certainly felt good, and Brittany decides she's excited to try again. After that, her thoughts shift to how well tonight had gone. She decides Santana was right, and she had been silly to get so nervous. However, it doesn't seem at all silly to be nervous about meeting all of Santana's big brothers next week. Surely, they won't be so easygoing about her dating their baby sister? Still, stressing about it won't do her any favors, so she forces herself to listen to Santana's even breathing, and it's not long at all until she falls asleep as well.