Chapter 72 – She is Not Alone
Life poured into her surroundings, or at least that's what the changes metamorphosing the landscape around Yuna appeared to be. Black clouds blotting out the sky above her had been wiped away. Gazing up at the sky, the stars shined down unfettered at her. She could witness all the celestial bodies with clarity. The shriveled forest of dried-out foliage seemed to spring back to life. Color returned to their forms, and she found herself immersed in vibrant greenery. All of what had darkened the world now resided inside her—bottled up deep within once more.
Each step she took weighed heavier than the last. Two lifetimes coursed through her body and soul. In her mind, she calculated the length of time to be 1,021 years' worth. She yearned to love again for two people. No matter how prepared Yuna thought she had been to carry the burden, it still wreaked havoc on her. Her head ached and her ears rang like someone had struck them with a hammer.
She sat on the ground by a moss-covered rock, taking a minute to recollect herself. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, focusing on the whispering harmony playing from the pyreflies hovering around her head. The raging storm inside her quelled. Her mind quieted, reducing the boiling anxiety in her down to a simmer. Exhaling one more long breath, she opened her eyes. She glanced to her left, eyeing the stream of spongy moss flowing down the side of the rock. Reaching out with her fingertips, she felt its soft, bumpy texture. It reminded her of the moss she encountered on the rocks playing as a child in Besaid.
Filled with new resolve, Yuna seized the moment of strength and stood up. She paced forward, even though her destination eluded her. Having come down a steep hill, she walked through an endless field of colorful wildflowers. More pyreflies than before fluttered through the field. Their chorus of beautiful chimes sang to her. Looking ahead, beyond the sea of wildflowers, the land gave way to a boundless sea of actual water. Far in the distance, she counted ten towering vortexes of water protruding up into the sky. Nothing she could see gave her any direction in which to exit the Farplane.
She stopped walking. Scanning her eyes in every direction, she found no reason to move any further. Her shoulders slumped as tears trickled from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Pulling out her CommSphere, she placed it up to her lips, calling out for Rikku and Paine. Holding her breath, she waited to hear a reply. Long seconds passed in silence.
"I'm all alone," she whimpered. "I'm always alone here."
Hopelessness consumed Yuna. The muscles in her legs burned from the long day of walking. Her body still ached from the recent battles. Never knowing if day or night had passed, she was unsure of how long she had been in the Farplane.
A grassy patch nearby in the field of flowers redirected her attention. She acknowledged the burning fatigue afflicting her body and laid down. Surprised by how soft the short blades of grass felt against her skin, she rested her head on her hands and closed her eyes. A short rest would make the pain go away, she thought to herself.
A streak of white electricity shot across the sky, momentarily illuminating the dark clouds racing far above her. Windswept rain blew hard across Yuna's face. She raised her arm in front of her to shield herself as best she could. Another lightning bolt blinked in the sky, eventually sparking the top of a crooked stone tower in the distance. A deafening crack of thunder rumbled. She clutched her ears and yelped in shock. Taking off toward the building, she slipped on the wet stone beneath her. Falling to her knees, she caught herself with her hands before tumbling face-first onto the ground. Bands of rain pounded against the back of her head. Through the roiling storm, she heard a rumbling growl. She felt the ground beneath her hands and knees quake.
Squinting out of her green eye, she spotted a monstrous fiend flying above, illuminated by another streak of lightning. Both her eyes burst open at the sight of giant locus wings flapping through the obsidian clouds. Out of its mouth, a long barrel emerged.
Scrambling to her feet, Yuna raced toward the tower, hoping to find refuge underneath it. Her boots continued to slip on the wet stone. Through the darkness, she could see a halo of light flare up from the fiend. Her heart beat out of control. The tower grew in size and statue the closer she approached—she needed its safety before the fiend fired its cannon!
Her pupils dilated from the sudden white tunnel of light blazing from the fiend, engulfing her in pure energy. She clamped her eyes shut, accepting her inevitable destruction. Her body superheated in an instant, without even the chance to scream in reaction to the eviscerating pain.
She stumbled out of the energy beam and fell to the ground, the blinding light giving way to calm, warm sunlight. She peeked open her blue eye and spied herself surrounded by tropical trees and bushes. Devoid of ravenous storm clouds, splotches of ivory clouds lined the blue sky overhead.
"You took quite a spill," said a soothing, female voice. "Are you alright?"
Looking up, a slender hand greeted Yuna's gaze. With a smile on her face, Lenne waited for Yuna to accept her aid. Clasping her hand, Yuna used her friend's help to stand up. Lenne kept their hands held together and led her halfway across a rickety wooden bridge. She sat down, extending her legs out off the edge of the bridge, and patted beside her.
"Sit down and enjoy the view with me. Kilika is so peaceful," Lenne remarked.
Yuna nodded and sat down next to her. "It is."
Lenne's smile faded from her face. "I'm sorry you got caught up in that storm."
"Wait, you knew where I just was?" asked Yuna.
Lenne nodded. "Yeah, that storm was me."
"I didn't see you," said Yuna, turning her head to look at Lenne. "But Vegnagun was there."
"It always is. That horrid machina will haunt me forever. If Bevelle never created that monstrosity, Shuyin and I never would have been torn apart."
Returning her gaze to the river below, Yuna watched a school of tiny fish swim underneath the bridge. "How do we escape the storm?"
Lenne sighed. "I don't know if I can. For a thousand years, those few moments in Bevelle have consumed me. I can't leave it. I have no way to walk in the world anymore. I'm just a ghost."
"That's not true. I'm your outlet now," Yuna responded.
"I appreciate that, but I only exist inside you. I have no form outside of that. But you, Yuna, you are still alive. You can get past the storm."
Folding her hands in her lap, Yuna bit her lip. "It hasn't done me any good."
"Why don't you ask for help more?" Lenne questioned while shifting her eyes to glance at Yuna.
"Ask for help?"
Lenne smiled. "You've done so much for Spira. There are a lot of people that would be willing to help you. You just need to ask."
"It won't do me any good now," Yuna retorted with her head slumped. "I'm lost in the Farplane. There isn't anyone around to help me. I'm alone."
"That's not true!" Lenne exclaimed. "Call out and someone will come to help."
"You really believe so?"
Lenne put her hand on Yuna's shoulder. "Of course, I do! I think . . . somewhere deep inside of me, I hoped you would find me again. And you did."
Feeling tears in her eyes swell up, Yuna smiled and nodded to her friend. She sat in silence, returning to watch the fish in the river swim by. Hoping to find truth in Lenne's words, she contemplated how to ask for help. It never had been her place to request aid, but to administer it. With Lenne in tow, she had to be stronger. Lenne's future depended on her.
Stretching out her arms, Yuna awoke under the same dusky sky that she fell asleep under. Pyreflies twinkled around her. Nothing around her had changed during her rest. Lingering feelings of despair crept back into her mind, but she resisted giving in to them. Remembering Lenne's advice, she arose and started pacing around the field of wildflowers. She tried her best to reaffirm to herself that she could be helped. Opening her mouth, she hesitated to speak, not knowing what to say with nobody else present.
"Please, I . . . someone hear me. I need help!" she stammered.
Instantly she regretted calling out, feeling like a fool for speaking to nobody. She covered her face with her hand, happy that at least her embarrassment wouldn't be witnessed. Letting out a sigh, she brushed back her hair.
"Are you lost?" asked a voice from behind her.
Nearly jumping out of her skin, Yuna spun around to see the source of the voice. Standing before her, the ethereal form of a woman wearing a cream-colored jacket and cropped blue pants appeared. She brushed back her shoulder-length brown hair. Blinking three times, Yuna couldn't believe that of all people, Tidus' mother answered her call.
"You . . . you heard me?"
His mother smiled and folded her arms. "I would never mistake the voice of the woman my son loves."
Yuna ran up to her. "Oh, I'm so thankful! I thought I would be alone here forever!"
"Why are you here by yourself?"
"Well, that's a long story," replied Yuna, reluctant to make eye contact.
She wished to leave the matter of her reason for wandering through the Farplane undisclosed until she noticed the stern look his mother shot at her. Sighing sharply, she formulated her thoughts from the past few days and conveyed them to Tidus' mother. The entire time, a pang of unease jabbed at her. To Yuna's relief, she saw his mother's perplexed expression softened.
"You've been through so much," she expressed. "And I have a feeling there is so much more behind it all."
Yuna nodded. "Yes, these last many years have been difficult."
"You've done remarkably well for losing so much. Far better than I ever managed."
A thought crossed Yuna's mind. "Do you still remember Dream Zanarkand? Although I guess it would just be Zanarkand to you."
"I do," replied his mother with a slight chuckle. "Some of my memories are a bit hazy, but I remember my life before here. Jecht and my son. The good and the bad."
"Your feelings, all of them, must be strong for you to exist outside of the dreams of the Fayth," whispered Yuna, not realizing she spoke the words out loud.
"Maybe you're right," his mother said. "Love made me feel all kinds of things so powerfully, but that wasn't always good."
Yuna gasped. "Ah, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to—"
His mother raised her hand. "Don't be sorry because you're right. I loved Jecht so much that when he disappeared, I lost my will to live and abandoned my son."
"He knew you didn't abandon him!" exclaimed Yuna. "And he knew both you and Sir Jecht loved him dearly. He understood what happens when a lovebird loses their mate."
Tidus' mother bowed her head. "I do as well. I see the same trouble in your eyes."
"You're right," Yuna said with tears forming in her eyes. "I've felt so lost since he's been gone. Four years, and I just have felt so empty."
His mother embraced her. "But you aren't lost. You're doing exactly what you know to do—helping others. I want the chance to do what I didn't . . . couldn't for Tidus."
"What's that?" Yuna asked.
"To comfort, like a mother should," she replied with a warm smile.
The tears suspended in Yuna's eyes rolled down her cheeks. She nuzzled her head into the ethereal shoulder of Tidus' mother and began to cry. An aura of warmth wrapped itself around her body.
"You're not lost nor are you trapped here. I'll show you the way out," his mother whispered in her ear.
"You know a way out of the Farplane?"
His mother brushed back a lock of hair from Yuna's face. "Of course! I don't want you wandering around here forever."
She started walking away, motioning for Yuna to follow. Trailing his mother back in the direction she came from, Yuna struggled to keep the silence between them from spiking her anxiety. She racked her brain, trying to think of something to ask for say to fill the void. She had the mother of her lost love beside her—how could she not take advantage?
"Um, what was he like as a child?" Yuna finally asked.
His mother's eyebrows furrowed at the question. "You mean Tidus? I suppose he was like any little boy. Full of energy and prone to tantrums."
The warm chuckle from her eased Yuna's tension. "At least he put all the energy to good use. He loved blitzball, just like his father."
"You know it's funny," his mother began before pausing. "For as much as he cursed Jecht, he seemed to end up following in his footsteps a lot."
Yuna nodded. "Tidus very much did!"
"Was he good at blitzball? I never got to see him play." Her smile faded from her face.
"Oh, yes, he was amazing," Yuna answered. "He joined my home team in Spira when he first came. He helped them win the championship."
"That's my boy. Always full of determination. He got that from his father, not me."
Yuna stopped walking. After a few moments, Tidus' mother realized she had stopped following her. Turning around, the two women stood staring at each other, sharing the same heartbroken expression. Swallowing hard, Yuna resumed and walked back up to her.
"He loved you dearly, and he came to realize what Jecht sacrificed and why. It took him a while, but he came around," explained Yuna.
His mother reached out and touched her shoulder. "I was so young when I met Jecht. Well, I suppose he was just as young. It all happened so quickly. We fell in love. I mean, he was a brash, handsome blitzball star. How could I not have?"
"I suppose Tidus was like his father. He was infectious," said Yuna with a slight giggle.
"Thankfully I was lucky that Jecht was also a good man despite his flaws. We moved in together, and Tidus came along soon after. But then things got hazy for me. With Jecht away practicing or at games, I started to feel overwhelmed with a child. Things got worse . . ."
"What do you mean?" Yuna asked.
His mother turned to face away from Yuna. "Jecht started to drink too much, probably because of all the pressure on him. It crushed me when he disappeared. I never overcame how hard pregnancy had affected me. When he vanished, I stopped being a mother. I needed him and he abandoned us!"
"That's when he touched Sin and was transported to Spira. He didn't abandon you."
"What do you mean transported to Spira?" his mother asked, turning back around.
Yuna paused to collect her thoughts. "Sin was the great enemy of Spira. When he encountered it, he was transported out of Dream Zanarkand and into the real world. Sorry, I don't mean to say you're not real."
"No, it's okay. I'm glad to know now he didn't run away from us."
Yuna shook her head profusely. "The opposite! He helped my father defeat Sin, and in turn, helped make sure Tidus could finish what he started."
Her eyes popping open, Tidus' mother gasped. "So, he saved your world then?"
"Yes. Just like his son, Sir Jecht was a hero."
His mother continued leading her through a vast plain of flowers. "I'm so thankful to hear they both made it in the end. Thank you."
Realizing the familiarity of her surroundings, Yuna noticed tall cliffs with sparkling waterfalls tumbling down them. Pyreflies filled the glen she had wandered through two years ago just as much as they did in the past. Accompanying Yuna to the edge, his mother extended her arm. A shimmering, golden path of light ascended from the edge.
"This way leads back to Bevelle!" Yuna shouted.
His mother smiled. "It seems you know the way from here."
"I do, thank you."
The two women embraced. "I never imagined myself having a daughter-in-law, but you're more than I ever could have hoped for."
Yuna's eyes fell to the ground. "We never married."
"If anyone could fix that problem, it would be you," she responded. "As I've said before, I don't think your story is over yet."
Yuna smiled and nodded. "No, thankfully it isn't. I still have much to do. What will you do now? I'm sorry you'll be alone again."
Brushing back her hair, a confident smile formed on his mother's face. "Don't worry about me. I think I'll go find my lover."
Yuna bowed. "I hope you find him soon. Thank you for everything."
She departed up the celestial path, eventually disappearing into an infinite cloud of prismatic pyreflies. Her thoughts and emotions overloaded her mind, and before she realized it, she found herself in Bevelle again. She stumbled when she emerged from the Farplane. Musty air instantly filled her nostrils, the odor of a millennium of rot lingered below the great city. The cavernous chamber had little light in which to see. She activated her flashlight and retrieved her CommSphere from her pouch.
"Rikku, Paine, can you hear me?" she called into it.
A moment of static buzzed from the device. "Yuna! Is that you?"
She felt a burst of relief pulsate through her body. "It's me. I'm so glad to hear your voice, Paine."
Rikku's voice chimed in. "Where are you, Yunie? We thought you got banished to the Farplane by that mean ol' fiend."
"It's a long story, but I'm back underneath Bevelle again where you found me two years ago."
"Oh, yeah, I remember that. Okay, we'll come to get you. Sit tight!"
Yuna knew her friends would race as fast as possible to reunite with her, but that knowledge gave her little comfort. Too many foul memories, for both she and Lenne, lingered in these walls. The coldness of the dank air tingled her skin. She rubbed her arms, trying to rid herself of the goosebumps that formed. She stood in a listless state, pushing herself hard to suspend the thoughts racing around in her mind.
The creaking of a steel door rumbling open behind her forced her back into a motivated state. She turned around to watch Rikku and Paine rush into the chamber. Running right into her arms, Rikku squeezed her tight. She noticed Paine stopped in her tracks with a perplexed look on her face.
"What's wrong, Paine?" asked Yuna.
Paine pointed to her songstress clothing. "Your clothes . . . is that—it can't be."
"Huh, what?" Rikku took a step back. "Hey, were you giving a concert in the Farplane or something?"
"Rikku, you're so dense!" Paine grumbled. "So, you found her sphere again."
Yuna nodded. "I did. Somehow, she survived the explosion and came to rest far away."
Rikku tapped her finger against her cheek. "Who did?"
"Lenne," Paine stated.
"Whoa . . . wait really?" Rikku's eyes bulged open.
Blowing out a long sigh, Yuna did her best to force a smile. Her chest weighed heavy, anticipating the reaction her friends would give. She knew she burden them to the brink and back two years ago when Lenne's emotions had seethed inside of her last.
"Is it bad like before?" Paine questioned.
Yuna looked down. "I'd be lying if I said no, but I'm better prepared this time. And . . . I had a promise to keep. I couldn't ignore my opportunity to fulfill it."
"Well, we're here for you," said Paine folding her arms.
Rikku winked. "That's right, Yunie! Maybe Lenne's love can stop Shuyin after all."
The weight bearing down on Yuna lifted. "That's exactly right! I don't know how, but we'll figure it out."
"Just make me one promise," requested Paine.
"What?"
"Lean on us before it gets overwhelming. We're better prepared this time around, too."
Yuna beamed. "I will."
"We better get back above ground. Baralai will be relieved to know you're alright," Rikku said while throwing her arms behind her head.
Paine chuckled. "He probably all but has the seal to the Farplane undone in the Chamber of the Fayth by now."
Sharing a laugh with her friends, they continued to bring Yuna up to date on what happened after Zaon transported her to the Farplane. She took the opportunity to talk about her unexpected journey to the Farplane, excluding some of the more intimate details of what Tidus' mother shared with her.
Emerging from the black depths of Bevelle's underground, she welcomed the sight of warm sunshine pouring in through the windows. Near the entrance to the temple, she watched Baralai pacing back and forth.
"Calm down killer," Rikku joked while waving at him. "We got her."
Without hesitation, he rushed over to greet Yuna. She could easily see the pained, flustered expression he bore on his face. Not confident enough to directly look into his eyes, she bowed her head.
"Sorry to worry you all, but I'm fine," she said.
Baralai clasped both his hands together. "I'm so glad you're safe. When they told me you battled a fiend and then disappeared, I had no idea what to do. Oh, why is your clothing different?"
"It's a long story," she said while rubbing her eyes. "I'll be happy to explain after I rest."
"Of course. Let me take you to a room to lie down in," he stated, gently holding onto her hand.
The sensation of his fingers touching hers sent a shockwave through her body. She inadvertently recoiled from his grasp. Her legs wobbled underneath her, the fatigue of her battle and trek through the Farplane catching up to her. Baralai caught her before she fell. Gazing up into his eyes, she felt her heart flutter.
"Take it easy, Yuna. You've been through a lot."
She sighed. "Sorry, you're right. Thank you."
He led her upstairs and down a decorated hallway, lined with tapestries depicting hallmark events in the history of the Yevon faith. At the end of the hall, a familiar green door led to a small guest room. A perfectly tidy bed rested against the back wall. Light from the window above it illuminated the room.
"Please lie down and rest. I want you to have all your energy back for when you tell me about your adventure," Baralai said.
His genuinely warm smile relaxed her. More than happy to comply, Yuna sat on the edge of the bed. When Baralai turned to leave the room, she grasped his arm. Without speaking, she reeled him close to her. Leaning to meet him face-to-face, Yuna kissed him. Her mind remained blank, just allowing her raw impulses to reign over her.
At first, Baralai's lips didn't match the ferocity of hers. She continued to meld their lips together, taking the lead to press deeper into a passionate connection. Reaching with his other arm to wrap it around her, he pulled her in tight. The heat of his body intoxicated her. The silky smoothness of his lips momentarily lifted her out of the emptiness of the past. Yuna wanted this state of enrapture with Baralai to last forever, but he disengaged. Her heart skipped a beat when his lips parted ways with hers. She could see a desire for further passion in his eyes, but he did not give in to his craving.
"Rest my dear," he whispered to her. "I'll be here when you wake up."
Flashing him a coy smile, she nodded and took off her boots. Lying down, she pulled the cotton bed sheets over her. Baralai closed the curtain, blocking out the light of the afternoon. What streaks of dimmed light that did sneak through cast a cloak of shadows over him, hiding the gorgeous affection displayed in his chestnut eyes.
Her head sank into the mushy pillow. Still floating in a blank state, she relished existing in a mode of being where a torrent of emotions wasn't drowning her. Murmurs in the background, muffled by the closed door to the room, faded in and out until she heard Baralai's voice rise in anger.
"That's preposterous! Why would he accuse me of that?"
Another voice responded, "I don't know. He is convinced that you ordered the sphere to be stolen."
"You'd think Nooj would know better than that by now. Where did Issaru go with it?"
"To Bikanel I believe."
The words jumbled into an incoherent murmur, trailing away from the room. Yuna hadn't the energy to form a thought of concern, and instead let sleep overtake her.