Chapter 73 – Tension Rising

Raucous voices echoed throughout the cramped stadium. A symphony of cheers and jeers filled the air, pounding against Yuna's ear drums. She sat in an uncomfortable wooden seat, cloistered amongst a throng of other bodies. Excitement burst from every person in every seat, shooting like lightning through the crowd. An announcer started calling out the names of the players entering the blitzball field, none of who she recognized.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Lenne sitting beside her. Fixated on the field below, she clapped and cheered for each player who dashed out of the tunnel. She exuded genuine joy, an expression Yuna hadn't seen from her before.

"I've never seen you smile like this," said Yuna loud enough to be heard over the crowd.

"Why wouldn't I be happy? I get to watch Shuyin play!" Holding up a drink in her hand, Lenne winked at her.

Just as she mentioned Shuyin's name did the announcer call out his name to the crowd in the stadium. A thunderous ovation erupted across the complex. Rising out of her seat, Lenne waved her hand in the air and yelled a boisterous cheer of her own. While glad to watch her friend bubble up in enthusiasm, Yuna couldn't push away a feeling of envy creeping inside her. She had no one to cheer for.

Sensing a dower expression forming on Yuna's face without even looking, Lenne sat down and faced her. "Don't be sad. You'll have reason to cheer soon enough."

Wrinkling her nose, Yuna couldn't understand what she meant. Returning her attention to the field below, the opposing team had nearly all entered. Strange people from Zanarkand of long ago lined up to begin playing blitzball. To her immense surprise, the last player announced zoomed out of the tunnel. Shooting up out of her seat, Yuna gasped as she watched Tidus enter the field. She instinctively shouted out until her voice became hoarse.

Finally sitting down with a bewildered expression mixed with half a smile, she looked over at Lenne. "How is he here?"

"Why wouldn't he?" A coy grin snuck across Lenne's face. "If the men we loved weren't here, this game would be a lot less interesting."

Yuna suddenly felt her stomach twist into a knot. "Right."

Lenne's expression sharpened. "I don't envy you. You still exist in the world. Of course, your heart would want love you can touch and feel. It's hard to love when memories fade . . ."

Yuna frowned. "Yeah, maybe a part of me does want something tangible. I don't know."

"The man you kissed, Baralai . . . he seems to really care about you," said Lenne.

"So, you see what I see?"

"No, not exactly, but we are intertwined. Just like you feel my emotions, I feel yours as well."

"No keeping secrets then, huh?" Yuna chuckled.

Lenne cupped her hands in her lap. "I promise I won't pry."

"I don't feel that way. It's just nice to have someone who understands."

The blitzball game below kicked off. Both Shuyin and Tidus held roster spots on opposing teams. They quickly showed off their offensive and defensive skills. Enamored by the flow of his soft, blond hair in the water, old yearnings emerged in Yuna. She watched in silence as the game unfolded. The teams were evenly matched, with their star players standing out above the rest. The first half came to an end with neither team finding a way to score against the other.

"What should I do?" Yuna asked, blurting out the words.

"Are you sure you want to ask me that?" Lenne replied with a half-hearted smile. "My track record is terrible."

Yuna laughed. "Then maybe I should ask, what has kept you in love with Shuyin for all this time?"

"I . . . I'm not sure how to answer that if I'm being honest. Momentum perhaps."

"Momentum?"

Lenne folded her arms together. "We were very much in love when things ended underneath Bevelle. After that, what else could I do? I didn't move on, didn't go to the Farplane. Sometimes . . . sometimes I question how much of our love was real."

"It had to be real! It has sustained Shuyin for the past thousand years, just the same as you," Yuna said.

Lenne shook her head. "I don't really remember a lot anymore. I have vague recollections of the feelings we shared but not what those moments were. Instead of having pictures and sounds in my mind to cherish, all I have are ghosts."

"I'm sorry, Lenne," murmured Yuna. "That's not fair."

"Life and love seldom are," Lenne responded.

"If it's any consolation, I struggle with remembering Tidus. It has only been a few years, but things get jumbled in my head. Sometimes I remember his voice and funny facial expressions perfectly," began Yuna before pausing. "Then some days I forget what he sounded like or what it felt like to touch him."

Lenne sighed. "Our feelings and memories mixing together the first time you activated my sphere probably didn't help."

"I think trying to figure out who you are was the most upsetting part for me. I thought you were competition," Yuna joked. "But that was before I realized the man in the sphere was Shuyin and not Tidus."

Lenne fell silent in reflection. "To answer your question truthfully, I don't know what you should do. Unlike me, you have a future in the world. Letting go of the past is so difficult. Are you sure Tidus will never come back?"

Yuna closed her eyes. "I wish he could, but I just don't think so. He's gone, and I must accept that."

"Whatever you choose to do, I would never fault you. He may never be Tidus, but Baralai seems like a decent man. You deserve to be loved by someone, Yuna."

Opening her eyes, Yuna looked straight at Lenne, who bore a warm smile on her face. Her heart swelled with gratitude at her friend's kind words. The hole in her heart that remained still seeped out the happiness she needed to subsist. If she didn't find a way to resolve her fault, she could never truly give Baralai the love in return he deserved.

"I don't know how long it will take," continued Lenne. "But for now, why don't we enjoy watching our boys play some blitzball."

Yuna looked back at the field where the players began returning for the second half of the game. "Deal!"

Leaning back, her eyes fixated on Tidus swimming back onto the field. Everything else blurred together. Her muscles finally relaxed, and she allowed herself to enjoy the brief time she had to watch her love mired in the sport he adored.

Yuna's eyes opened to the same small guest room cloaked in shadows that she fell asleep in. Rubbing her face, she tried to shuck the grogginess of sleep away. Her body refused to budge, still content to linger under the warm sheets of the bed. She closed her eyes and blew out a long breath of air. The dream she just had filled her soul with a messy mixture of feelings.

Pulled in two directions, her heart ached. The man who saved her from Sin, Tidus, or the man who stood as a sign of the future, Baralai. Stress punched down on her mind which wrestled with where to go with her life. Loving Baralai felt like a betrayal, but Tidus wouldn't want her to live without love. Her feelings for Baralai seemed strong but different, not like how she felt with Tidus.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. "You awake yet, sleepyhead?"

"I am, Rikku," Yuna replied.

The door creaked and slowly drifted open. Her cousin slipped into the room and shut the door behind her. The dim light seeping through the curtains dulled Rikku's colorful appearance. A sliver of light illuminated enough of her face to reveal a concerned expression.

"Is something the matter?" asked Yuna.

Rikku sat on the edge of the bed and folded her arms together. "Yeah, I think so. Something is going on between the Youth League and New Yevon."

"Oh? Like the discourse they've had before?" Yuna sat up.

"Yup, seems that way. Baralai is totally freaking out."

"What happened?"

Rikku threw her arms up in the air. "I wish he'd just tell us! Paine is still trying to get him to open up, but it's gotta be serious if Baralai is being all nuts about it."

"I wonder . . ." whispered Yuna, recalling the fuzzy words Baralai spoke outside her door the day before.

"Wonder what, Yunie?"

"I remember before I fell asleep," she began. "That a sphere was stolen. For some reason, Nooj thought Baralai ordered it to be stolen."

Rikku raised an eyebrow. "What sphere?"

Yuna shrugged. "No idea. It must be important to the Youth League whatever it is."

"Here we go again! The last thing the world needs is for the factions to fight with each other again," grumbled Rikku.

"I'll go talk with him," blurted Yuna. "He'll open up to me."

"Yeah! Use those feminine wiles on Baralai," teased Rikku.

Yuna rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop. This is serious."

"I'm always serious."

Yuna gave Rikku a playful shove, pushing her off the bed. After lacing up her boots, she followed her cousin downstairs. The lingering grogginess melted away, replaced with determination. She worried that a new rift between the factions could thrust Spira back into disarray, with neighbors at odds with each other. Those were not days she wished to relive.

After meandering around the temple, she located Baralai just outside the entrance. He stood, his back turned to her, staring off into the distance. He seemed unfazed by the infrequent drops of rain falling on him from the grey sky. Rikku tapped on Yuna's shoulder, looking for a signal as to what action she planned on taking. Unsure of the correct course of action to take in this situation, she clenched her hands together and walked up to him.

"Good morning," she murmured.

He turned his head to look at her out of the corner of his eye. "Oh, good morning, Yuna. How are you feeling?"

She sighed. "Better than you by the looks of it."

"You might be right," he said, turning around to fully face her. "There is much happening that I'm at a loss to understand."

"What's going on?"

He frowned. "I don't want to trouble you with Youth League business."

"You're only going to trouble me if you don't tell me what's obviously bothering you so much."

Staring at her for a moment, Yuna narrowed her eyes at Baralai. Firmly placing her hands on her hips, she refused to relent with her stern expression. It took only seconds for the emotional walls he built to come crumbling down. He closed his eyes and let out a wispy chuckle.

"I suppose you're right. My apologies, Yuna."

"Let us help you if we can," she said, relaxing her demeanor.

"Very well, but this information can't get out. I don't want our people to become incensed at each other again. Not after all we've accomplished."

Yuna nodded. "Of course."

"I'm not sure when all this started, but tension has been building between the groups making up the New Spiran League. Nothing major, but undeniable still."

"Caused by what?"

He folded his arms snugly against his body. "At first, just general discourse. But then a growing number of people have started to worry that the newer machina built by the Machine Faction could lead to wars like in the past."

"That should be easy enough for Gippal to clear up," said Yuna.

"I wish that were it. A lingering mistrust from New Yevon's past keeps creeping up," Baralai added.

"Lingering mistrust?"

"Yes, from Trema. When he destroyed all those spheres below Bevelle two years ago, so much history and knowledge was destroyed with them. Many around Spira still harbor animosity towards us because of that, including Nooj."

Her eyebrows raised. "I can't believe Nooj would be suspicious of you."

"I wouldn't say of me in particular," he replied after shaking his head. "But of others in New Yevon. Apparently, he felt strongly enough to protect some spheres uncovered in the last two years from the rest of us."

"What's on those spheres?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Not sure. But now one has been stolen and Nooj believes it was our doing."

"Surely nobody from the Youth League had anything to do with that."

Turning back around, Baralai rested his hands on the railing beside him. "I wish that were true. For some reason, Issaru snatched the sphere from them. I don't understand why he's been acting so strange lately."

A burst of dread jumped through Yuna. She knew by his words that he didn't know Shuyin possessed Issaru and controlled him. Whatever that sphere contained within it must play some importance in Shuyin's plans. She wanted to tell this to Baralai, but an impulse inside her suppressed this thought.

"Have you tried reasoning with him, or asking him to return the sphere?" Yuna questioned.

"I've tried, but he hasn't responded," answered Baralai. "And he's run off to Bikanel Island for some reason. I'll have to track him down."

She bit her lip. "Perhaps somebody not connected with the Youth League might be a better option."

Baralai stared at her quizzically. "How so?"

"Well," started Yuna, scrambling to think of a sufficient reason for her haphazard suggestion. "Maybe he doesn't want to involve you in whatever he is doing."

"Perhaps," said Baralai while rubbing his chin.

"The Gullwings would be much more capable of tracking him down without making a fuss."

He chuckled. "The Gullwings are terrible at not making a fuss. But you do have a point. I'd just hate to see you go."

"I know," she said in a hushed voice. "But we can't have everyone at war with each other again."

Baralai nodded. "I won't argue with you on that."

"I can talk with Brother and the rest of the team to get prepared. It wouldn't be good to let this linger for any longer than it already has," she said.

Reluctance filled his expression. "No, it wouldn't. Please come see me again before you leave."

She nodded and flashed him a warm smile, lifting away his dour mood. Baralai gave a slight bow and dismissed himself to reenter the temple, passing by Rikku, who still partially hung out of the entrance doorway. Giving him her trademark goofy grin, she opened the door to let him inside before scampering over to her cousin.

"What did you guys talk about for so long?" Rikku asked with an impatient tone.

"Nothing as lovely as some of our other conversations," Yuna said. "It seems the factions are indeed having issues with each other again."

"Oh great, just what the world needs."

"That's not the worst part."

Rikku threw her arms behind her head. "What could be worse?"

Yuna sighed. "Issaru stole a sphere from the Youth League, and now Nooj thinks Baralai is a thief."

"Wait, Issaru?" Hey, isn't he—"

Yuna completed her sentence. "Yeah, possess by Shuyin."

Rikku shivered. "What's he trying to do? Think he wants everyone to go crazy at each other again?"

"I wish I knew. I wonder if that sphere isn't what he's been searching for."

"Geez, I hope not," grumbled Rikku. "We're all in big trouble otherwise."

"I convinced Baralai to let us go find him."

"You didn't tell him about Issaru's possession, did you?"

Yuna looked down. "No."

"C'mon, Yunie! You have to tell him sometime?" Rikku scoffed.

"I know, I know, but things are already tense. Throwing Shuyin in the mix might make everyone boil over."

"Then we better track him down fast," said Rikku.

Yuna nodded. "Right! Let's go tell everyone else."

Leading her cousin back to the Celsius, Yuna gathered the rest of the Gullwings and explained the Youth League's predicament. Thankful for their agreement on the matter, most of them seemed excited to return to Bikanel—except of course for Paine. The thought of being swallowed up by an overabundance of warmth caused hives to form on her skin.

Regardless of her aversion to the heat, she also agreed with Yuna and Rikku that they should make haste. The longer Issaru remained at large, she felt, the greater the chance for an explosion in a conflict between the factions. Grateful for her friends' support, Yuna returned to the temple to say her goodbyes.

Dusky blues covered the sky except for a band of vivid orange stretched along the horizon. Directed by the temple staff to Baralai's quarters, she hesitated before gently knocking on the door. Each encounter with him twisted up her stomach, which she dismissed as caused by Lenne's feelings getting intermixed with hers.

He opened the door and a melancholy smile quickly appeared on his face. "Good evening, Yuna. Oh, Paine, and Rikku, too."

"May we come in?" asked Yuna.

He extended his arm out. "Please."

Observing the room in which he stayed, the lack of material possessions surprised Yuna. The simplistically decorated room had only a standard-looking bed, dresser, desk, and chest in it. A handful of small paintings hung on the wall depicting people from Yevon's past. The window above the desk revealed the last bit of sunlight still emanating from the sky.

"When will you be leaving?" he questioned.

Yuna answered, "Tonight. We don't want to let this issue linger."

He clasped his hands in front of him and bowed his head slightly. "I had a feeling that would be the case."

"Is that alright?"

He smiled. "Yes, of course. It's a prudent idea. I wish for this not to further stir trouble between the factions. It's just . . ."

"It's what?"

He took a step closer to Yuna, taking her hand from her side and holding it in his. A burning desire glowed in his eyes, which pierced into hers. She held her breath, unable to look away from him. The gentle smoothness of his olive skin against hers had great contrast to the firm grip he held her hand with.

"Well, I was hoping to have you for another day. Our time together always seems so short, Yuna."

Flashes of memories spun through her mind—not of her times with Baralai but with Tidus. The awkward laughter shared in Luca, their kiss in Macalandia Forst, the night around the fire in Zanarkand. Deep within her, she yearned for his touch again because their time together was so short.

Pulling her in for a kiss, Baralai broke her deep recession into her thoughts. It lasted just for a moment, but the softness of his lips brought her back to the present. She closed her eyes but couldn't quite reciprocate with the same level of passion that he injected. She forced a smile she hoped came off as genuine and said goodnight to him. She caught a glimpse of pain and confusion in his eyes before she turned away to leave the room.

Retreating to the Celsius, she couldn't help but wonder if Baralai recognized a reluctance in her kiss. The moment caught her off guard and she panicked. She did what she always would when she panicked, she fled. The moment overwhelmed her, and she had to leave.

Though Yuna hated to relapse into a reclusive state, knowing what trouble that caused her and her friends in the past, she still decided to hole herself up on the deck of the Celsius before they departed. The night sky formed a vast, empty void above her. A swath of clouds blocked the moonlight from pouring down on her, leaving just splotches of tiny, white stars to break up an otherwise blank canvas for her to spill out her emotions.

Approaching a crossroads in her life, she realized she would need to decide where her heart lay for herself soon. Once she could reunite Lenne with Shuyin and stop his plans, she needed to know what path her future held. The past kept her heart tethered to Tidus, but she desperately needed to move past that.

The door to the lift buzzed, opening to reveal Paine entering the deck. With her arms folded tight against her, she took a moment to survey the sky before walking over to Yuna. Slowly she crept over without saying a word and took a seat next to her. Making eye contact, Paine flashed a slight smile.

"I figured I ought to check in on you," Paine finally spoke.

"Thanks," Yuna replied without emotion. "I'm okay."

"You usually come up here when you're in distress."

Yuna sighed. "That's true. I guess it's a way to get out of everyone's hair."

"Remember what I told you before," Paine said. "You can open up to us. No need to keep everything bottled up."

"Yeah, you're right," Yuna whispered. "I'm just still processing everything."

"Like what?"

Yuna paused. "This relationship I have with Baralai. I don't know if I'm as ready as he is."

"Have you told him this?" Paine's question held a slight edge to it.

"No, I haven't," she replied sheepishly.

Paine's expression sharpened. "You owe it to him to tell him."

"I know you're right, but it's not that easy."

"What's not easy about it?" Paine questioned. "He needs to know if you're still on the fence."

Frustration bubbled up in Yuna. Paine's inability to understand her predicament angered her. She knew Baralai didn't deserve someone not completely devoted to him if she were to accept his affection.

"I'm not on the fence! Baralai is a wonderful man. I just . . . have some feelings from the past that I haven't totally gotten through yet," she said in response.

"I understand. I just don't want to see Baralai get hurt," Paine said, her voice softening.

"Why would I hurt him?" Yuna's voice cried with an accusatory tone.

"Hey, I didn't say you would."

Yuna stood up, her hands clenched into fists. "Well, I won't!"

In a fit of rage, she stomped off the deck and back into the Celsius, leaving Paine to remain by herself. By the time she entered the lift, the anger had melted away. She had no idea why she just had such an infuriated outburst toward Paine. Baralai did deserve to know if Yuna wasn't fully committed to a relationship. She knew that but refused to admit her fault because the past still held onto her and denied her freedom.