Chapter 77 – Revisiting the Darkness

Watching the shadows dance on the ceiling, Lenne fought off the urge to sleep. She felt like a stranger in her own body. Though she had existed inside of the Celsius within Yuna before, living as herself made her feel like an alien—an interloper without a home. Her mind wrestled with her current state of being. She feared if she went to sleep, she would not wake up again.

The sound of light snoring filled the cabin. She rolled over onto her right side, peering over at the slumbering Rikku sprawled out all over her bed. What she thought looked like a trickle of drool seeped from the corner of her mouth. Lenne chuckled softly at the humorous sight. Yuna's cousin provided a light-hearted spark to the Gullwings, even in her sleep.

The momentary distraction didn't last for Lenne. Her mind descended back into tumultuous thoughts. She rolled over onto her left side, taking a second to gaze at Paine, who slept much more like a normal person. Lenne vaguely realized it had taken Yuna some time to break down the barriers Paine put up when she first joined the Gullwings. Lenne appreciated her acceptance, at least giving her a chance to figure things out in a foreign place.

Nothing like her world of a thousand years ago, the Spira of today had less strife and violence, but she had no friends or family to turn to. A fresh start, as appealing as it was to Lenne, scared her. With no foundation, she had no clue where she should begin to fashion a new existence for herself. Nor did she know how long it would last.

Shuyin had plans to return. Lenne knew her love well enough to understand his unending drive to reunite them both. She feared he would return with Vegnagun, and begin the cycle of violence in Spira anew. The thought of him failing, and never returning, crossed her mind. It would leave her eternally a stranger in a strange land, even if Spira was her home.

With a curt sigh, she got out of bed and quietly tiptoed her way to the lower floor of the cabin. Sleep would not come easy for her, not while her mind raced. The coldness of the wooden floor prickled at her bare feet. Passing by the bar, she watched her murky reflection in the glass bottles left out on the counter. She scanned the area, finding a lone glass at the opposite end of the bar. Picking it up, she examined it. Satisfied that it appeared clean, she poured herself a drink and walked into the lift.

Leaning against the back wall, she breathed deeply, then blew out a long sigh. Taking a swig, the sudden punch from the liquid took her by surprise. She hoped a drink and a walk would calm her down enough to fall asleep. Until then, she wanted nothing more than to pace around the airship without waking anyone up. The lift shuttered to a halt and the doors opened to reveal a long hallway. With much of the lighting off, she had a difficult time making out what lay ahead.

Carefully walking forward, she navigated the unlit corridor, following the bluish glow ahead. The chattering of something mechanical caught her ear. She peered into the adjoining room. Looking just beyond the dim Sphere Oscillo-finder, she made out navigation controls. A giant windshield revealed a world outside shrouded in darkness, save for the twinkling stars in the sky.

To her right, a lone boy hammered his fingers against the keys on his console. With his back turned to her, Lenne couldn't make out his face. He wore strange clothing—a sand-colored bodysuit covered him from head to toe save for his lime green gloves. The screens flicker with a dazzling array of green and blue lights. Like a machina, he feverishly darted his head from screen to screen, only pausing intermittently to type something. Lenne watched in awe of his computational power, even though he resembled a young child.

For a moment, her oppressive cloud of dark feelings subsided, and a hint of loneliness replaced it. Something inside nagged her to walk out of the shadows and try to make a friend. She had none in the world she found herself in.

"Hi," she said while cautiously stepping down from the upper platform. "I don't think we've had a chance to meet yet."

Shinra jumped in his seat, slamming his hands down suddenly on the console. "Whoa! Who said that?"

Lenne placed her hand up to her mouth. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

He spun his chair around and let out a hearty breath through his mask. "It's okay. I didn't hear you come in. You must be Lenne."

"That's right."

"I'm Shinra," he said. "What brings you to the bridge at this time of night?"

Lenne sighed. "I couldn't sleep, so I've been wandering around."

"Neither can I. That's why I'm here doing research. It helps that it's a lot quieter in the middle of the night."

"What are you researching?" she asked, happy to find a distraction.

He turned back around in his chair and pointed to the screen in front of him. "A little bit about your past. Well, not your past specifically, but the time you lived in . . . originally."

"What for?"

Shinra tapped his finger on the console before answering. "For a way to bring back Yuna. I've been studying Iutycyr's experiments for a while. Some of his research tied into what I had been hypothesizing."

She took another sip of her drink. "I'm sure I won't understand it, but I'd love to hear more about it."

"In simplistic terms, he had thought it might be possible to extract energy from the Farplane and harness it. He also tinkered with the idea of time travel. I think he was able to combine the two somehow at the tower," he explained.

Lenne blinked a few times. "And somehow Shuyin figured out how to make it work?"

"Well, the three spheres Iutycyr constructed did most of the work. He just had to put them in the keyholes to unlock its power, so to speak."

"How does that explain what happened to me?"

Shuyin scratched his head. "That, uh . . . is a mystery."

Lenne frowned. "Any ideas?"

"Well, he was using energy from the Farplane to power his experiments. My guess is that his time-traveling machina might mess with the Farplane in unintended ways. You were just a spirit. Maybe because of that, you couldn't have leaped into the past with Yuna, and you manifested in the present."

"Just a spirit . . ." Lenne regretted asking Shinra his thoughts.

Shinra gulped. "I didn't mean it negatively, sorry."

Lenne shook her head. "I know. I didn't take offense. It's just that I can't even wrap my head around it all."

"You're not a spirit anymore at least," said Shinra.

"Yeah, you're right about that." Lenne rubbed her hands together, feeling the touch of her skin against itself. "I hope I can help you guys find a way to bring Yuna back and stop Shuyin's madness."

He tapped on the console. "I have a handful of ideas of where to start looking."

"Really?" she asked. "I'm all ears."

Sitting on the floor next to Shinra, she watched his animated gestures while he explained his plethora of ideas to her. At first his onslaught of hypotheses and information overwhelmed her, but eventually the fatigue of the day caught up to her. The light from the screen dimmed and the boy's words blurred together. She closed her eyes and dozed off to sleep.

The smell of hot food stirred Lenne from sleep, and the light of morning reignited her consciousness. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around, taking a moment to realize she still sat on the bridge of the Celsius. A plate of food rested on the floor beside her. A gentle wisp of steam rose from the food, filling her nose with delicious scents. Looking up, Paine had replaced Shinra in the chair by the console.

"Good morning," said Paine, noticing Lenne had woken up.

Lenne forced a smile. "Oh, hi Paine. I didn't realize I fell asleep here last night."

"It surprised us, too."

"Sorry. I guess I got caught up in talking with Shinra."

Paine folded her arms together. "Hey, whatever helps you sleep. He puts me to sleep sometimes as well."

Lenne chuckled. "It's not like that. He's a very intelligent boy."

"That he is," said Paine. "Are you alright?"

The forced smile on Lenne's face quickly faded away. "No, to be honest."

Paine sighed. "Are you feeling overwhelmed or still in shock?"

"It's hard for me to put anything into words," answered Lenne while picking up the plate of food. "Maybe more numb than anything."

"I can't even begin to imagine. This isn't my strong suit, but if there's anything I can do to help you, please tell me."

The show of concern by Paine lifted a modicum of dread out of Lenne. "Thank you. I was never one to receive help, but the one to give it. It's a little weird being on the other side of things."

"Yeah, it's not easy always being the strong one for everybody else. It's something Yuna always fought with," murmured Paine while looking away from Lenne.

"You mean an incredible amount to her," Lenne stated. "You and Rikku have gotten her through a lot."

Paine's eyes widened. "I wish she would have opened up to us more. It would've prevented so much heartache."

"I'm to blame for that," said Lenne softly.

"You?"

"With all of my feelings bouncing around inside Yuna after she assumed the sphere with my memories, I think I overwhelmed her. My darkness and her darkness melted together, and it was too much for her. You have no idea the burden I was on her," confessed Lenne.

Paine hesitated to speak, quietly staring at her. Lenne feared the words Paine contemplated as the silence hung over them. She dropped her gaze to her plate, stirring around the food. Her appetite disappeared, replaced by a knot in the pit of her stomach.

"Regardless of all that, Yuna spoke highly of you. She said she promised to make things right between you and Shuyin," Paine remarked, breaking the silence.

"It was a promise I never asked of her," said Lenne. "I told her she should stop. I could feel how hard my plight was on her."

Paine shrugged. "When Yuna sets her mind to help somebody, nothing stands in her way."

Lenne cracked a smile. "She is stubborn like that."

"Yeah, she is."

"It's my turn to help her, in whatever way I can." Lenne looked back up at Paine.

"Shinra has a few ideas. We're flying to one now," said Paine.

"Oh? Where are we going?"

Paine replied, "To Bevelle."

Instantly reeling back, a look of terror crossed Lenne's face. She shoved the plate hastily off her lap. Bits of food splattered across the floor. Standing up, she gripped her hand into a fist and pointed at Paine.

"Why would you take me to Bevelle?"

Paine stood up from the chair. "Hey, it's okay! Nobody is going to hurt you there. The Machina War doesn't exist in our time, remember?"

Lenne closed her eyes and her voice quieted. "Oh, of course. Sorry, it's just that I never wanted to go back there. Especially after all that's transpired."

"I get it. It's just that the man Shuyin had possessed for a while made his way back there. Seems that Shuyin didn't need him before going to Iutycyr Tower," explained Paine.

"Why do we need to see him?" asked Lenne.

Paine answered, "Well, Shinra hopes he can give us some more insights. That, and I really need to talk to Baralai."

Lenne had no trouble understanding what Paine referred to. "I'm sure he's not going to take this news well."

"No, he'll be as devastated as the rest of us."

Lenne dropped her head. "Hopefully there's more in Bevelle we can find to help us figure this mess out. But I'll say this—that city has given me nothing but agony."

She immediately felt guilty with the sharpness of her words as she watched Paine shrink. Noticing the mess she caused on the floor, she leaned down to pick up the plate and clean the splattered food. Without another word, she dismissed herself from the bridge and took the lift back to the cabin.

Walking by the bar, a jolly Hypello stacking plates hummed to himself. She stopped, taking in his tranquil tune. When she softly chuckled, he quit his humming and looked up at her, giving her a warm greeting.

"Oh, hello Mish Yoo—no my mishtake. Yoo are chertainly not Mish Yoona," said Barkeep.

Lenne smirked, pushing aside the awkwardness she felt. "Sorry, I am not. I'm Lenne. Nice to meet you."

Barkeep gave her a confused expression. "I don't recall you entering the ship. Shorry I mished yoo before."

"That's quite alright. And if anyone should apologize, it's me. I helped myself to a drink last night," she explained while setting down her glass and plate.

He laughed. "Not to worry. You are not the firsht to sneak a midnight shnack."

Without thinking, Lenne sat down at the bar. "Thanks. It's been . . . a very overwhelming two days."

The Hypello's body language immediately shifted—his shoulders slumped, and he breathed in slowly. "Oh, it's terribibble! We losht Mish Yoona again!"

Lenne waved her hands in front of her. "No, no, not forever! That's why I'm here. To get her back."

He perked up. "Yoo are?"

"Yes, she is as dear a friend to me as she is to you. She is the reason I'm here at all," said Lenne. "And I'll fix everything, I promise you."

The Hypello took a moment to examine Lenne closer without saying anything. Lenne could see he took his time processing her words and her sudden appearance. Whatever outcome he came to, Barkeep flashed her a smile.

"Then yoo'll need all your strength. Would yoo like me to cook yoo shomething elsh to eat?"

"I would like that, thank you."

She watched in glee while Barkeep cooked her a delicious second breakfast. Resting her head against her hand, her mind wandered through fluttering glimpses of memories. She had only traveled to Bevelle once in her life before, and her life had ended on that day. The dark underbelly of the city had swallowed up Shuyin in his pursuit of hijacking their uncontrollable superweapon.

When she closed her eyes, the echoes of gunfire still rang in her ears. The past millennium wiped away whatever pain she felt when the bullets riddled her body. She disassociated from her tragic end centuries ago, but the flop of Shuyin's body collapsing to the ground still sickened her. She summoned the last bit of life within her to tell Shuyin she loved him, so he could hear those words at least once, only to realize he had already died.

Tears ran down her cheeks. Old memories, left to rest when she died underneath Bevelle a thousand years ago, bubbled up to the surface without reservation. She choked back more tears, forcing herself to not succumb to the grief. She somehow managed not to morph into a fiend after her death, and she refused to falter after all this time. Yuna still needed her.

"Are yoo ookay?" Barkeep asked.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled while wiping away the tears from her face. "I got caught up in some old memories."

He nodded. "Bad memories?"

"Yeah, very much so. Unfortunately, all the blackness of my past is what's causing all the problems in the present."

"Good thing about the Gullwings, ish that yoo never have too face bad things bye yoorshelf," he declared with a warm smile.

"Indeed. You are good to have for friends."

Barkeep's words instilled a slight sense of peace within her, enough for her to regain control of her emotions. She ate the lovely meal he cooked and readied herself to enter Bevelle. Her chest tightened at the concern that resurrected memories would consume her in the city, and she would be worthless to Paine and Rikku.

Looking out of the window by Yuna's bed, Lenne watched the airship approach Bevelle. Not surprising to her, it appeared far different than she remembered it a thousand years in the past. Much of the general layout and architecture seemed familiar, but the lack of towering machina had changed. Much like her home of Zanarkand, Bevelle had permeated with technological splendor. That splendor deviated into warfare, and her life shifted from songstress to summoner.

"Okay kiddies, we made it to Bevelle," called Brother over the CommSphere.

Letting out a long sigh, Lenne turned away from the window. She walked out of the ship to join the rest of the Gullwings, all of whom were waiting at the entrance to the city. Her attention focused on Rikku, who stood with slumped shoulders staring down at the ground. Lenne knew how hurt Yuna's cousin must be. Her heart ached for Rikku's loss. She thought about saying something to soothe the pain but found herself without adequate words.

"I guess we'll go track down Baralai first," said Paine. "Maybe Issaru will have something for us to go on."

"Let's hope so," muttered Rikku.

"Cheer up, I'm sure he will," said Lenne while patting Rikku on the shoulder.

Looking up at Lenne, Rikku cracked a solemn smile, seemingly unconvinced by Lenne's positivity. It hurt her heart to see Rikku so dower. Focusing on Rikku's heartbroken state distracted her from being tormented by the sights and sounds of the city she loathed. The dull, grey clouds hanging overhead set a mood she found all too appropriate for the way she felt. Intermittent drops of rain fell from the sky, occasionally splashing against her skin.

Like a thousand years ago, the city had vibrance and life. Gone were the soldiers and machines of war, replaced with the tranquil bustle of its citizens milling about the streets. To her left and right, she looked over the people. Children played in the streets and neighbors shared gossip and banter. Workers climbed scaffolding to repair a building's façade. Street vendors called out to attract customers. The lack of hostility calmed the fear gripping her.

Winding her way through the city streets, Lenne further relaxed. She enjoyed witnessing Bevelle in its modern state, even though the lack of machina seemed foreign to her. Up to the elevated section of the city, she gasped when she came to a long bridge stretched out across shallow water, recognizing it as the Highbridge. A flood of memories poured back into her from the night she had infiltrated Bevelle to stop Shuyin. Her hands began to tremble.

"Hey, are you okay?" whispered Rikku, poking her softly in the arm.

Lenne held her hands together, trying to steady her nerves. "My memories of Bevelle . . . aren't ones I ever wished to relive."

Rikku frowned and nodded. "You had to come here to find Shuyin didn't you."

"You're right. Shuyin hated that I had to fight in the war. When he disappeared, I didn't know what to think. Then one of our spies came to me and told me he was spotted near Bevelle."

"You came here all by yourself?" Rikku asked.

Lenne sighed. "Crazy right? I didn't know what else to do. It was too dangerous to get anyone else involved. So, I snuck into the city."

"How did you manage to do that without getting caught?"

"It's kind of fuzzy to me," replied Lenne. "It's been so long. I was so focused that I don't really remember much detail, but I remember sneaking my way across this bridge."

"And that's why you look so scared?" Rikku questioned.

Looking around, Lenne had trouble absorbing her question. "Well, I suppose so. I guess . . . all I know Bevelle to be is the enemy. This world is nothing like mine."

Those words continued to stick in her mind. Rikku didn't reply, leaving an uncomfortable air between them. Lenne kept her head down and remained silent while following Paine across the bridge and into the old Yevon temple. Vague recollections of the night she slipped into the city resumed flashing in her head. The decorations and symbols of the old religion drastically changed what she remembered of the original appearance of this area.

A commotion up ahead steered her mind away from the past. A group of guards darted past her, rushing for the entrance to New Yevon's headquarters. Other people, huddled tightly together, spoke hastily to each other. With so many layers of voices sounding at the same time, Lenne couldn't make out what any individual person said.

"This doesn't look good," Paine remarked.

Rikku looked over at her. "Now what could be going on?"

Paine groaned. "I don't know. It never seems to end, though."

Rikku approached one of the people huddled together on the balcony. "Hiya! So, what bad things are happening to New Yevon this time?"

The cluster of voices all ceased simultaneously, and everyone glared at Rikku, who flashed a goofy grin. Paine wasted no time stepping in, imposing herself with a scowl across her face. The glares quickly melted away. One of the New Yevon members remembered her and apologized for their lack of manners. Feeling like an outsider, Lenne kept her distance from the group and let Paine do the talking until she motioned for Lenne to come over.

"At first, he seemed alright. Completely lucid and cooperative. Then he just up and disappeared," an older man with a shaggy white beard said.

"How did he just disappear?" asked Paine.

"We don't think he went far," explained a slightly younger, bald man. "I told the Praetor he probably fled underground."

"Oh great, the underground again," Rikku scoffed. "I hate that place."

Paine rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Where is Baralai?"

The bald man led them inside the old temple. A chill shot down Lenne's spine when she entered. The hazy air inside the bleak, cavernous room set an ominous tone. A cacophony of hushed voices echoed throughout the space, bouncing off the stone walls of the chamber. A dark-skinned man clad in a green and orange coat stepped into the room, surrounded by a cluster of attendants. Paine and Rikku shoved their way through the group of people surrounding him, but Lenne decided to keep some distance.

"We need to talk, Baralai," stated Paine.

He brushed back his silvery hair. "I didn't expect to see you back here so soon. Since Issaru returned, I trust you had a successful mission."

"Not quite," murmured Rikku.

"What do you mean?"

Paine placed her hands on her hips. "We'll explain, just not here."

Baralai narrowed his eyes. "Alright, follow me."

Leading the Gullwings into a side chamber, he folded his arms together, compressing them tightly against his chest. He inhaled deeply, eyeing both Paine and Rikku with concern. His gaze eventually landed on Lenne. She felt invaded by his perplexed expression when he realized she followed them into the room.

"Excuse me, I need to speak with them alone," Baralai scolded.

"She's with us," said Paine, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm Lenne. It's nice to meet you," Lenne said, unsure of what else to say in this situation.

"Um, nice to meet you as well." Baralai's brow rose. "Where's Yuna?"

Paine sighed. "We'll get there. First, what happened to Issaru?"

"He came back to the headquarters bewildered and disheveled a few days ago, telling us he couldn't remember where he'd been for weeks," said Baralai.

"That makes sense. He was being possessed by Shuyin," Rikku blurted out.

Baralai gasped. "What?"

She cringed. "Yeah, we kinda neglected to tell you about that before. Yunie didn't want to freak you out."

"Wait, I thought Shuyin was destroyed two years ago! You're saying he's still alive?"

Paine nodded. "Somehow, he did survive Vegnagun's destruction. He revealed himself to Yuna not long ago, and we've been trying to stop him since."

Baralai gripped his forehead. "Why didn't she tell me?"

"She didn't want to tell anybody," said Rikku. "She knew that with the issues the factions were already having, it might really send everyone into a tailspin."

Baralai's voice continued to crescendo. "Why did Shuyin take possession of Issaru? What purpose did that serve?"

"He was after some ancient spheres created by a man named Iutycyr," Paine stated.

Calming down for a moment, Baralai rubbed his chin. "That name sounds vaguely familiar. I believe he was a scientist long ago from Bevelle."

"Correct. Apparently, he created or tried to create, a time travel device using power from the Farpane. Shuyin was using Issaru to collect Iutycyr's spheres."

"Then that must be why he went to Bikanel. Were you able to stop him?"

Rikku rubbed her cheek. "Well, sort of. We chased him to Iutycyr Tower and fought him on the top. Then, well . . ."

"What happened?" asked Baralai, his voice trembling.

Lenne stepped forward. "He activated the device, and now we think he and Yuna are somewhere in the past."

His jaw dropped. Trying to muster up words to Lenne's impossible assertion, he stared at her with wide eyes. She assumed he didn't believe her. She hardly believed her own words if not for the fact that she came into being because of the results.

"This can't be," he whispered. "How do you know this? Who are you?"

Lenne replied, "A long lost spirit who Yuna found and saved. Shuyin is the man I loved since we lived together in Zanarkand. I'm the reason he stole Vegnagun from Bevelle's depths, and I'm the reason he continues to plague Spira."

Baralai put his hands on her arms. "Yes, Yuna told me one time in a letter about you. But how are you here? You must be a thousand years old?"

Lenne looked at the ground. "I don't know. When Shuyin activated the machina, and he disappeared with Yuna, I was left behind but as flesh."

Baralai released his grasp on her and stumbled backward. He leaned against the wall behind him and moaned in pain. With his hand placed against his face, he began to sob. Paine quickly walked over to him to offer comfort. Rikku looked over at Lenne, sharing the same feeling of helplessness that Lenne felt.

"What do we do now?" asked Baralai, tears welling in his eyes. "Can we get her back?"

Paine said, "That's why we need to talk to Issaru. If he remembers where Shuyin took him, maybe we can find clues to reverse what happened."

Baralai threw his hands into the air. "He fled underground. I don't know why, but he just snapped yesterday. We've been trying to locate him, but there are still so many fiends down there."

Paine pointed down with her finger. "Then we'll just have to go down there and find him."

The pit of Lenne's stomach felt like it flipped over inside her. Never had she dared to think of trekking underneath Bevelle again, not after a thousand years. The thought of submerging herself in that darkness again caused her whole body to quiver. Closing her eyes, she thought of Yuna. If her friend were to have any chance in the universe of returning to her time, Lenne had to brave Bevelle's underbelly of nightmares again.