1. Roller coaster
(Bobby)
His phone chirped, prompting Bobby to draw his eyes away from the frying pan of bacon sizzling on the stove top. The device sat on the counter behind him, meant to be out of sight, out of mind while he whipped up a quick breakfast for his lovely wife and visiting stepdaughter. He didn't even have to check the notification to know who sent the message, the little check-in as much a part of his daily routine as brushing his teeth. Still, he paused long enough in his prep to make sure he shot off a reply.
"Buck?" Athena asked as she joined him in the main portion of the house that was once hers and now theirs. Much like him she was dressed for work, the badge on her chest shined to perfection.
Close on her heels, May followed up with, "he's still doing that?"
The text from the younger firefighter matched hundreds of others Bobby received in the wake of Buck's lightning strike induced coma. While he knew the majority of what went down in Buck's strange dream, he often wondered about the role he played in it. No matter how he broached the topic, and he'd long since stopped, Buck never gave him a clear answer. He simply came to the conclusion it must not have been positive to have left his friend so shaken.
"Hasn't missed a day yet," Athena answered. "I think our little affair on the cruise ship only made matters worse."
She took an offered cup of coffee from Bobby, then settled at the table.
May sat across from her. "It doesn't bother you? Either of you?"
"Should it?" Bobby asked. He switched off the burner and plated the bacon. "If hearing from me shortly after he wakes up helps Buck get through his day, I'm okay with it."
"Me, too. Lord knows the boy has been through enough."
Bobby joined them at the table, mindful of the time. He was due on shift soon with the rest of his crew. The trio lapsed into silence as they ate, each lost in their own thoughts. He suspected Athena might still be struggling with the turmoil of the cruise-gone-bad. Any time he tried to ask her about it she assured him things were fine, though he wondered if it was true. There remained within him a lingering fear, one he tried to keep buried deep, that whispered to him in the darkness, that the trip, his choice, had put a strain on their relationship. Of course, it might have all just been his imagination. The kisses, the touches, the intimacy, it all felt familiar, if not a little more honest and raw thanks to those brief moments locked in a room rapidly filling with water.
May broke the silence first. "I hear through the grapevine Buck locked lips with a guy. What's up with that?"
Grapevine equals Hen, Bobby mused.
"He's exploring a new side of himself," said Athena.
"Do you think it has anything to do with… you know."
"No. I believe he's harbored these feelings all along, he simply chose to ignore them. Think about your father."
"Might explain why he sabotaged his relationships."
"Sweetheart, it takes two. Some of those ladies just weren't right for him." Athena held her coffee cup in both hands, glancing at her daughter. "Though it's also possible he never quite got over Abby, or at least how things played out with her."
"He does seem to get burned by love often." May checked her watch. "Oh no, I'm going to be late. Thanks for breakfast, Bobby. I love you guys." She jumped up, planted a kiss on Athena's cheek, blew one in his direction, and grabbed her stuff before breezing out the door in a whirlwind.
"That girl…"
"Is a lot like you."
Bobby caught her eye, pleased with the warmth he found waiting. She gave him a soft smile, taking hold of his hand, their fingers locking. "You're still worried about him, aren't you?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"It's like May said, I brought two children into this marriage, you brought one," she lightly teased. "Ever since he broke through your brick wall. He seems like he's doing fine, at least from where I'm sitting."
How easily her words sent him careening back to that sunshine filled day on the bench outside the hospital. Someone, he'd forgotten who by now, managed to pull him away from Buck's bedside and sent him off with May. They meant to give him a break, mentally and emotionally, and for him to actually eat. Instead, he sat there with his stepdaughter and she said what he suspected many others on his crew, in his life, thought, Buck had become his surrogate son. The reckless young man with the infectious smile who cared deeply for his sister, and everyone on the 118. While Bobby would give his life for any member of his crew if asked, everyone knew he and Buck were closer than most. He came so close to losing him, remembering the sight of Buck dangling from the top of the ladder as the storm raged on.
"Bobby, sweetie, come back to me."
Bobby blinked, the terrible night fading into the recess of his mind, always waiting to haunt his dreams.
"Where did you go just now?" Athena asked, studying him, brows slightly knit together.
"Thinking about that night."
"Oh honey." She squeezed his hand.
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, then took to clearing the table, moving in perfect unison.
"How is Buck anyway?"
"He says he's okay."
"But?"
"But I sense something is brewing just below the surface and it's only a matter of time until he explodes."
Athena wrapped her arms around his neck. Naturally his hands fell to her hips. "And you'll be right there to catch him when he does. Just one more reason I love you." She punctuated the statement with a kiss, one that spoke of desire and sweetness. What a shame worked beckoned both of them.
XxXxXxXxX
(Buck)
Sun glinted off the slowly evaporating puddle from the early morning storm. The rumble of the thunder had woke Buck from a fitful dream, and though he reached for his phone first thing he'd waited until a more reasonable hour than 4am to text Bobby. From the safety of his Jeep, the radio broadcasting the news, Buck glared at the shrinking body of water, angered by how it changed his life. Not a single soul knew, not even Maddie or Bobby, that fear visited him when the skies darkened and lightning flashed across the clouds. Some might say it was to be expected. Not everyone survived being struck by lightning.
The way his stomach twisted in knots during the helicopter ride to the cruise ship… He'd take it to the grave with him.
Buck worried his bottom lip.
Technically, the shift started five minutes ago, making him late, and yet he hadn't taken the keys from the ignition. Normally reporting to work brought with it a great sense of joy and belonging, being surrounded by friends he was blessed to call family. But lately trepidation and his own thoughts kept him at bay. And thanks to last night's dream he finally pulled the pieces in order, or at least the majority of them. Parts of the picture continued to be foggy, unclear.
Buck had a crush.
One he tried to hide since meeting the object of his affection.
Okay, that's a lie. I'm lying to myself. I didn't care for him when he joined the 118.
True.
Times, however, and people, changed.
They grew. He grew.
Or maybe he sort of always liked men and didn't want to admit it. Maybe fear of how others would perceive him kept him on the expected path, but who got to dictate what paths his life took? And none of his friends seemed bothered by the recent development. No, the only person struggling was him. It took him some time to come to terms with it, the kiss, and now he knew exactly what he wanted, just not how to get it.
A knock on his window made Buck jump. A heartbeat later the passenger side door opened, Hen climbing in. "Are you going to sit out here and stew all day or join the rest of us inside?"
"I, uh, was just listening to the news report," he said lamely, finally yanking the keys from the ignition.
"Sure, and my mother's the pope."
He stepped out into the heat of the day, the mercury already promising a scorcher. From the backseat he grabbed his backpack. He met Hen at the front bumper, the two falling into step as they entered the firehouse.
"Something tells me you need to talk."
"I'm good."
"How long have I known you, Buck? Almost a decade? I think I can tell by now when something important is rattling around in that skull of yours."
The voices of others reached them. Somewhere out of sight Eddie laughed. Buck's heart fluttered. "Later, okay?"
Before Hen got a chance to reply the alarm sounded. The conversation went out the window, Hen racing over to the ambulance, Buck quickly ditching his stuff in his locker and hastily donning his gear. Bobby gave him a less than pleased look as he jumped last into the back of the rig.
Later that evening…
A three car accident with an irate drunk driver and social media influencer. A fire in a restaurant kitchen. A gas leak in a daycare center. The bulk of the shift passed in a blur of bickering people, toxic fumes, and souls in need of help. All the while Buck tried to stifle the warring halves of himself, and avoid any sort of stern talking to from Bobby. The last thing he wanted was to see disappointment in Cap's eyes. Again. It always brought a dose of guilt.
Leaning on the railing of the second floor loft, the smells of dinner wafting tantalizingly under his nose, Buck watched Eddie chatting casually with Chimney. He might have focused a touch harder on the single father, studying the curve of Eddie's jawline, the way his shirt strained over his biceps, the light smile on his lips. What are you two talking about? Is it wedding plans? As the fast approaching ceremony crossed his mind Buck experienced a twinge of jealousy laced with sadness. Maddie ran to him from a huge mistake of a relationship and found her happily ever after in one of his friends. Meanwhile, he'd gone from living in the apartment of a woman who left him behind to find herself to one failed relationship after another.
When did he get his happily ever after?
Buck turned away, heading for the fridge to grab a bottle of water. Bobby leaned against the counter, phone in one hand.
Buck caught a snippet of the conversation as he retrieved his beverage of choice.
"A date? Tomorrow night? With my lovely wife, how could I possibly say no?"
He may have closed the fridge door with a touch too much energy, earning a questioning look from his mentor. Buck stalked over to the couch, plopping down on the cushion, and immediately putting one booted foot on the edge of the coffee table. He took a swig of the ice cold water.
For the second time that day Hen sat beside him. "Do me a favor, will ya?"
"Hm?"
"Have dinner with Karen and me tomorrow."