A/N: Short chapter today because I didn't really feel like writing. Not THIS story, anyway. Self-Insert Harmony is so built up in my mind that it's ruining my focus; I've got to get it out for my own mental health.

Anywhoos.

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Original Nagato

It was getting more and more difficult to cope. He'd thought that after a lifetime of deprivation, simply having Yahiko hold his hand would be enough. It was enough, for all of two days. Then he wanted more. No matter how hard he tried not to want anything more than he considered reasonable, he couldn't make it happen.

Nagato lay awake in the middle of the night, listening to Yahiko's breathing. His own heart beat fast and his own breathing came ragged. He didn't want to sleep, and he didn't understand how Yahiko could. He's not like that. He's not like me. Nagato's mind knew that, but he couldn't convince his skin of it.

Nagato tried to distract himself by thinking of the doll that followed him around. Why do I dislike that doll so much? It is effectively a living all-purpose magical tool. I ought to be glad that it attached itself to me; constant access to such a thing is useful. He realized he was thinking of the doll as if it wasn't even alive. Alright. I can try to think of it as a person. For Konan. He concentrated on thinking of Solis' feelings and always using the pronoun "he" instead of "it." It was difficult to do this because Solis hardly expressed any emotions. Warlic could get angry, Little One could get scared, but Solis seemed perpetually calm. It didn't act like a normal nonliving doll, it didn't act like a toddler, it didn't act like an adult, and it didn't act like any nonhuman species. He. He didn't act like any sort of being that Nagato was familiar with.

The question I asked when I first saw them has not been answered. What the hell is that thing?

No, he was not going to adopt the perspective the clones had anytime soon.

Yahiko turned over. Before Nagato even realized it, his train of thought about Solis had vanished into mist. Once again, he was all too aware of Yahiko's breathing. Dammit! What else is there to think about? Let's see… What's the latest update on this author situation? Unfortunately for him, everything so far was nice and stable. The focus had been reliably tracked to a few different times and places throughout the day. Those times and places were really much more interesting as topics. Obito and Clone Yahiko bonded, then Madara appeared. Coincidence? I think not. Konan seems to be correct; Clone Madara does not have nearly the power his original had. This world is, indeed, biased towards things he does not like. Madara struggles, but futilely. He can be considered low priority for now. As for Zetsu… They normally stay by the masked man's side, but Clone Yahiko did not see them at all. An uncertain situation: it must be made top priority.

Yahiko mumbled something in his sleep. Nagato sighed and got out of bed. It would be more comfortable on the roof. He let himself think only one thing as he went:

What was he going to do next?

Kisame

It was strange waking up without Solis. Kisame reflexively looked at Samehada after sitting up, expecting to see her snuggling with her adoptive child. Instead, he saw Samehada with her tail curled around an empty space, as if waiting for him to come home. This sight was so sad that Kisame resolved to demand that Solis be brought back whether or not there were messages to be sent. She comes first. I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks.

He felt enormously proud of himself for thinking such a thing.

He found Itachi waiting outside his door. Itachi raised a hand in greeting. "Hello. Since it is a weekend, I wondered if you wanted to do something sociable?"

"Sure," Kisame replied. "After I tell Konan to bring Solis home right the fuck now. Same misses him."

"Is that entirely accurate?" Itachi said as they walked down the hall. "I saw no signs of distress last night, and she hasn't awoken yet. It seems more likely that you miss him."

"So sue me," Kisame grumbled. Dammit, I do. When did I get so sentimental?

Konan was not in her room. Itachi explored the rest of that hall and reported that she was holding a small meeting with Nagato and Yahiko in Nagato's room. By the time Kisame got there, she was waiting. He cleared his throat. "I know there's a need for enhanced communication, but I don't think splitting up the dolls is a good way to fix it. Same's not happy about sleeping without Solis. He needs to come home."

"That's just what I was thinking!" Yahiko said. "And per our new house rules, I'm the one that gets to make that decision, so I'm gonna make it. Little One - Little One? Where'd he go?" Yahiko leaned over the side of the bed. "Why are you under the bed?"

"If you're surprised to find him under the bed, why was that the first place you looked?" Kisame muttered.

"Fate," Itachi replied.

"Little One, come out. I need your help to bring Solis home." With much wiggling and grunting, Yahiko managed to extract Little One from under the bed. Once Little One was comfortably settled, the doll raised his arms. A giant glowing circle lined with runes appeared in midair, with a line splitting it in half down the middle. The runes moved onto the line and caused it to widen into a portal, exactly as Original Hidan had described.

Kisame and Itachi leaned forward. "Is that…?"

"It is," Itachi said. "There is only one track through the forest. That has to be the route to the Hatake campground."

"Why is Zetsu going there?"

"I can't help but notice the distinct lack of Obito in this picture," Nagato added.

Kisame backed off. "Maybe we shouldn't interrupt. We can get Solis some other time."

"I agree," Konan said. She ordered Little One to close the portal. Little One shot some kind of magical burst through it first. Solis turned and waved. Little One waved back, then closed the portal.

"Hey, I just got an idea!" Yahiko exclaimed. "To help the originals get along better with the dolls, why don't we hold plushie playtime? They can't possibly not see the dolls as living beings with feelings if they watch the dolls interact with each other."

"Speaking of which, where are the troublemakers?" Kisame asked. Just as he said that, the toilet flushed. Yahiko leaped up and ran to the bathroom. "That answers the question."

"Why not hold plushie playtime as soon as possible?" Itachi asked. "I would like to do something pleasant and sociable before I play music for the demon boy."

"Why not do this at the hospital?" Nagato suggested. "Ghost children would love it."

Kisame nodded. "The originals need to get used to the demon kid at some point."

Konan raised her hands. "Very well. I will inform my companions and let you know if they agree." She gently patted Little One's head before leaving. He waved his arms.

Yahiko emerged from the bathroom carrying Warlic and Manta. "I support this plan. Since I am in charge of all plushie-related business."

"We were going to ask at some point," Kisame muttered in a way that made it clear he had totally forgotten and was sorry. Yahiko put all three of the dolls together and told them that Itachi was going to take them on an extra-special trip. He didn't so much as look at Kisame. All was forgiven.

"I wonder if I should even bring my guitar," Itachi murmured. "This will be their first time inside the building. A large and abandoned building with ghosts and broken floors will surely drive them crazy and keep them that way for hours."

Kisame got a brilliant idea. "You do that. I will coincidentally pay a visit to my long-lost family members. It's a weekend…it's been a while…"

"It would be a shame if there were anything unusual going on. You were so looking forward to the ordinary trappings of family life: chatting, playing with balls or Frisbees…"

"Yeah, I really hope nothing unusual interferes with my completely mundane plans." Kisame grinned. "I'd better be off. If I see you again today, tell me how it went."

"A substantial 'if'." Itachi bumped fists with him. That was a way of wishing each other well.

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There was no way to know how long Zetsu would be there, so Kisame hurried. He arrived at the camp to find no sign of anything unusual. Shit. Did they even come here, or did they step off the trail and go who knows where? He heard cheering. He tracked the source of the cheering to a second clearing, away from the main cabins, where some Hatakes were practicing wind-style jutsu. They were trying to fly a white kite just like the one Little One had brought back. "Nice kite," Kisame said casually.

"Hey, Kisame!" one of them called. "It's been a while!"

"Do you know any people who are half plant?" another one asked.

"I do," Kisame replied. "They're friends of a friend of ours."

"I knew it!" a third person exclaimed. "See, Maro, I told you."

"Fine," the second person said, rolling her eyes. To Kisame, she explained, "Minata here has a hypothesis that every unusual person in this town has to be affiliated with one of the known groups. No strangers or rogues exist. I don't believe that, personally."

Huh. That's a damn good point. The Akatsuki was an organization. The Hatake clan is a clan. Those other people, Jiraiya and Shikaku and the rest, they're the closest thing we have to a smattering of strangers forced together by circumstance and even they were important people that probably knew each other. Why are groups of originals getting clones made? You'd think there would be a lot of total randos mixed in. "Maybe this is the special place where all the important dead people go, and all the ordinary folks went to some other less interesting town in the middle of a desert."

"We're in Heaven?" Minata asked. "Huh! It could be true."

"Anyway," said a fourth person, clearing his throat. "What are you here for?"

"Honestly, we spied on them using magic. I knew the plant people were headed this way. Where did they go?"

"They went on a walk with Sakumo and some others," the fourth person replied. "I think they were headed towards the sunning rocks. Now, I was supposed to get a chance to practice at some point?"

Kisame left them to their training and went to the outer cabin. He looked out into the forest. Where are the sunning rocks? After extensive thought, he remembered that this was the same location that Yahiko used to practice healing jutsus, which he needed fish for, which meant it was on the river. He set off west, planning to reach the river and follow it upstream.

When he reached the rocks, they were bare. Who knew how long the walk would take? Kisame was forced to scout the woods. Thankfully, he heard the howl of a wolf and was able to follow that. Zetsu, Sakumo, and the lizard guy were having an animated discussion of how plants perceived forests before an audience of several young Hatakes who listened, looking fascinated. White Zetsu babbled excitedly. "We see most animals as being a lot like storms: can't communicate with them, probably not alive. But some animals do use chemical messages, and those, we recognize as fellow living beings."

"So it is the same!" Sakumo replied.

"Yeah!"

Kisame's ninja instincts had led him to hide and observe the conversation before making his presence known. He stayed hidden for different reasons. They sound happy. When was the last time Zetsu was happy? Do I really want to ruin that, especially after all they've been through? He would have slunk away if a wolf hadn't sniffed him out. It let out a plaintive howl while pointing its muzzle at Kisame, causing every Hatake to look his way. He stepped out from behind the tree. "Hey. It sounded like you were having a really nice talk; I didn't wanna interrupt."

"Kisame! Come." Sakumo waved him over. "I and Chiki have already discussed our respective habitats. What about yours? Do aquatic habitats function as communities? How do the plants and animals feel about each other?"

"Eh, I'm pretty sure most 'plant life' is in the form of plankton or algae," Kisame replied. "It's not even multicellular. The only plant-like sea plants I can think of are kelp and sea grass. They make good hiding places, but that's it. Nothing eats them except for small critters nobody cares about."

"Ocean life is structured so differently that no comparisons can be made," Sakumo summarized. "That's disappointing."

"Sorry."

He avoided even looking at Zetsu. This was a bad idea. This was a very bad idea. Why couldn't he have just let things be, like he had when Little One had the portal open? Being here felt wrong, and by now, he trusted his instincts enough to take that as a sign that he'd made a mistake. "What's up with the followers?" he asked, glancing at the young Hatakes who watched.

"Never seen a half-plant person before," one of them replied.

"I never thought about how plants felt," another one said. "Zetsu says they live a lot like animals do. That's cool."

Only now did Kisame turn to Zetsu. It would look suspicious if he never addressed them at any point, so better to get it over with when he had a good opportunity. "They do? No offense. I know some plants can do amazing things, but most of them just seem to sit around."

"That's because we use electricity and chemicals to communicate," Black Zetsu replied. His voice was cordial, but tensely so. "Animals can't sense it."

"Oh. Yeah, that is cool."

Despite Kisame's efforts, the tension could be felt. Sakumo frowned. "Is everything alright?"

"Have you seen Obi?" White Zetsu asked Kisame.

"Not personally, but Yahiko found him and spent some time with him yesterday. They bonded. It was really nice."

"Did he stay over?"

"No…" How much do I say in front of the Hatakes? "Madara interfered."

"Oh."

"Where's your doll?" Kisame asked.

Zetsu looked up. "Somewhere. We haven't been keeping track."

Kisame called Solis' name. He waited several seconds, then called again. After the second call, he heard rustling. Solis pushed aside some branches of a bush and went directly to Kisame's heel like a well-mannered little soldier. "Same misses him," Kisame said.

"Please take it with you," Black Zetsu requested.

Kisame picked Solis up. "So. I'd better take him home."

"We might be staying…here…I mean, with these people…for a while," White Zetsu mumbled.

"Good idea," Kisame replied. "You seem really happy. After the way Original Hidan was a dick to you yesterday, that's…" He shrugged. Secretly, he was ashamed of his own role in that fight. Yes, Past Me made bad decisions and acted like a dick, but I was desperately unhappy. How could I have forgotten just how miserable my life used to be? They don't need scorn on top of everything else. "Good luck with everything." He made his exit as quickly as possible.

He slowed down once he reached the river. Walking at a gentle pace made him reflective. Normally he kept his reflections to himself, for he was not the type to talk aloud without a reason to, but it was different when he held a doll in his arms. "Zetsu reminds me of who I used to be. Forgiving him is like forgiving myself." Kisame stopped and looked out over the lake. "It's hard to forgive myself. I wouldn't want to be that person now, and I don't have any interest in talking to him either."

Solis wiggled. Kisame put him down. The doll used ordinary magic in combination with water magic to propel himself over the lake and disturb its surface as he went, playing with the water in a way nobody else could. Kisame sat down and watched. But the better I feel, the easier it is to forgive. I'm not angry anymore. I just feel bad for them. I hope they get the same feeling of having family for the first time as I got. He remembered how unreal it had felt to hear people being verbally supportive, like that was something which could only happen in sappy stories. That poor, lonely bastard I used to be.

But life was different now, and that made everything alright.

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A/N: Maro and Minata are just meaningless combinations of sounds as far as I am concerned.

It feel so strange to read earlier chapters. The whole writing style is subtly but noticeably different. It reads like someone else wrote it.

So then...

We'll see what happens, shall we?