Chapter Fourteen

As Long As You Love Me

I hadn't returned to work after my fight with Negan. I couldn't stomach to be around people or look anyone in the eye. Instead, I went to my room and stewed in my anger alone.

I understood the need for punishment when people did stupid shit. Really, I did. That didn't bother me. I could even look past the fucking iron to peoples faces thing. Yeah, it was a little insane but it kept people in line.

Setting aside the fact that he'd been an absolute douche to me in his office, there were four things that were really irritating my soul the more I thought about them.

First was the fact that he'd made a whole ass show of the whole thing. There was no reason that everyone needed to be present because one of Negan's Saviors decided to jump fucking ship with a fuckload of supplies. That had nothing to do with the workers who made this place run every damn day. The workers weren't the ones who were constantly breaking the fucking rules.

Second was easily the fact that Ms. Ellie had to struggle to get to her knees when that woman provided a necessity to his place every damn day. None of these assholes would be walking around if it weren't for her. The fact that she had to do something so trivial that was physically difficult for her was enough to make my blood boil. Her, and every other elderly worker on the bottom floor.

Third, knowing the Negan made Dwight, of all fucking people handle the iron after what he did to that man pissed me off, too. Dwight was a good fucking guy. He shouldn't be subjected to that shit.

And I shouldn't be subjected to kneeling. I provided him with ammunition. I made sure his army was powerful enough to defend this place. I let him stick his painfully large dick in me on a regular basis.

So, I sat in my room for hours. Hours of picking over everything that had happened. It had been such a good fuckign morning, too.

A knock sounded at my door when I pulled the covers over me in an attempt to get some sleep, but I knew that knock. I could feel him behind the door.

"No!" I yelled, not making a move to get up from my bed.

The knock came again.

"I said no!"

A second passed and then another knock.

This motherfucker.

I jumped up out of my bed and stomped across the room.

"If you think for a fucking second that you're just going to -" my sentence dropped short when I opened the door.

It was Negan, but that's not what had made me stop talking. He was standing there with a very large piece of chocolate cake in his hands and a kicked puppy dog look on his face.

"Peace offering?" he said, sounding unsure.

I rolled my eyes and snatched the plate from his hands.

"This changes nothing," I muttered as I turned around and stomped back towards my head, sitting on the edge of it and crossing my feet underneath me.

He wasn't playing fair. He knew my weakness and he was exploiting it.

He entered the room slowly, shutting the door behind him. He stood there by the closed door, not looking sure of what to do at that moment. It filled me with a vindictive sort of pride, knowing I could make this large man feel awkward.

"Can we talk about this?" He mumbled.

"Go ahead," I responded, shoving a bit of cake in my mouth.

His hands ran down his face and he sighed, before taking a step closer to the bed.

"I'm sorry that I upset you today. I shouldn't have been an asshole when we got back into our room. I just hate doing that shit and I was already in a bad mood, but I still shouldn't have acted that way with you," he said, dropping his head a little bit.

I looked up at him. I didn't hear "sorry" fall out of his mouth often. I felt like I should write the date down so it could be remembered.

"I'm sorry that I called you an asshole. Twice. And I'm sorry that I hoped Lucille fell after I slammed your door," I replied shortly before returning to my cake.

He let out a soft laugh.

"Lucille did nothing to you, doll."

"No, but you sure fucking did."

He grunted a response and then finished crossing the room and sat beside me on the bed, his shoulder touching mine.

"Let's just fucking do this. Let me have it. Yell at me, call me a couple names, and then come to bed with me. Please."

"Not that simple, boss man. I'm fucking mad at you and I will absolutely not be going to your bed tonight."

"Jesus fuck, Piper. Just tell me what to do to fix this," he exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air before letting the drop to his knees.

"What needs to be done to 'fix this' isn't something you're ever going to be willing to do, Negan," I said, taking another bit of my cake.

"How do you fucking know that, Piper? Just tell me what pissed you off."

"Fine, Negan. You really wanna hear it?" I yelled, placing my cake on the bed and jumping off of it, spinning until I faced him.

It wasn't as impressive of a height difference as I had originally thought it would be. Since he was fucking giant and I was… not.

"Let's start with the fact that you felt the need to do that in front of everyone, and not just your fucking Saviors, who are the ones who keep breaking the damn rules. Then we can move on to fucking Eleanor having to kneel for you when she provides for these ungrateful fucks every damn day. Let's talk about how you have fucking Dwight holding that goddamn iron after what you did to his face, because apparently mangling him wasn't enough for you. We can then transition over to the subject of you fucking expecting me to get on my knees for you when you know damn well that's not ever going to be a fucking thing," I fumed at the man, my eyes set in a harsh glare.

He returned my angry gaze, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I need everyone to understand the consequences of breaking the fucking rules. The fuck around, they get the iron. They fuck around worse, they become acquainted with Lucille. That's how it fucking works. We can discuss Eleanor not having to kneel, we can discuss having someone else get the iron ready. We can even discuss you and your aversion to do what you're told to all of the fucking time, Piper. What we can fucking not discuss, however, is my right do whatever the fuck I want here, since I run this fucking place and I've done a pretty good goddamn job of it, considering it's still standing," he barked, getting to his feet, his angry eyes seering into mine.

"You know what, if you want to stand here and have the same fucking conversation we did a few hours ago, you can go ahead and march your ass back to your room, Negan Smith, because I am not the fucking one today."

We stood chest to chest having one hell of a staring contest, one I was determined not to back down from.

"You're fucking infuriating. Genuinely a goddamn exasperating, hard headed, stubborn pain in my fucking ass," he angrily muttered at me.

"It's part of my charm, you ungrateful bastard," I threw back at him.

"Why do you insist on pushing every fucking button I have, Piper?"

"Because they're really stupid buttons to have, Negan."

"You're killing me here. Actually killing me," he groaned, finally breaking eye contact and looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm not asking you to change everything. Realistically, I'm asking you to do the bare minimum. They're small changes, Negan. Ones that are absolutely not going to throw your entire operation into an uproar or have your Saviors questioning your ability to lead this place, so don't act like I'm asking for a miracle here."

His eyes had found mine again while I talked, and I noticed them softening a little.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I growled.

"Because you're fucking gorgeous when you're putting me in my place."

"Focus, Negan. I'm being serious and I expect you to be listening to what I'm saying to you."

"If I say I'll think about it all, will you come to bed with me?"

"Depends. How long do you plan to think about it?" I asked, still glaring at him.

"Goddamn it. Until we get back from Purcellville? Is that acceptable, your highness?"

"Fine, Negan. But I actually expect another conversation about this. You can't just say shit to appease me in the moment and then not follow through. Because I swear - " My words were cut off as his mouth came down on mine in a hard kiss.

I pulled back and glared at him again.

"You can't just kiss me to get me - "

Again, his lips crashed to mine, this time the kiss more insistent. When his tongue swiped across my bottom lip, I caved so damn fast it was embarrassing.

I opened my mouth and he deepened the kiss, his darting in to massage mine.

My arms wrapped around his neck as his hands landed on my waist, fingers digging into my hips. A whimper escaped my throat and his hold on my waist tightened for a second before trailing down to the waistband of my pants and hastily pushing them down.

"Something about you feeling comfortable enough to talk shit to me really does it for me, doll," he murmured against my lips as he pushed me back on the bed.

"Oh, I thought you wanted me to just listen, Negan?"

"I fucking do, wildflower, but fuck if it doesn't get me all worked up when you don't," he said, grinning down at me.

I took in face as he smiled at me and any semblance of anger that I had left in my body dissipated. His dimples that always seemed to send a spear through my heart, his straight white teeth, the way his dark eyes seemed to stare straight into my fucking soul.

"I need you, Negan. Please, I need you," I begged, needing this beautiful fucking man on top of me.

His lips parted as he sucked in a breath and his eyes widened for a moment. His whole body was still in that moment as he looked into my eyes.

Then he was moving, shoving his pants down and crawling on top of me. I frantically started pulling at his shirt as he began shoving mine over my head, followed quickly by my bra. I reached my hands up to the back of his head and pulled him down into a kiss.

The kiss was consuming and messy, both of us fighting for dominance as our tongues met. He slid a hand between our bodies and gripped his length before running it through my slit.

"Fuck, you're already so fucking wet and I haven't even touched you yet, wildflower," he said, smiling against my mouth.

I let out a moan as he slid the head over my clit.

"I need you inside me, Negan," I whispered against his lips.

He lined himself up with my entrance and his hips thrust, sliding completely into me in one go. I cried out at the intrusion and arched my back as my legs wrapped around his waist.

"Always so fucking tight for me," he groaned as he bent his head to capture one of my nipples in his mouth, his tongue flicking out to lick the small bud.

His hips started moving, finding the perfect spot inside me to cause please to fall from my mouth, begging him to keep going. He moved his head to my neck, that tortuous tongue licking up the column of my throat.

"Who do you belong to, Piper?" he growled in my ear and nipping at the lobe.

His thrusts became harder, almost bruising, and I couldn't think straight. I felt the tension building in my abdomen, promising a mind blowing orgasm. Every sensation was making my brain go haywire; his deep thrusts, his breath in my ear, his chest against mine.

"I said who. Do. You. Belong. To," he repeated, every word earning me a thrust.

"You, Negan. Fuck, you. It's always been you," I moaned, breathless.

As the words came out, I realized how fucking true they were. He pushed up, his eyes suddenly on mine. He searched my face thoroughly as he continued his punishing rhythm. I felt tears threaten to well up in my eyes as I looked back at him.

Oh my fucking God. I cannot cry during sex. Nope nope nope.

I slammed my eyes closed and turned my head, trying to focus back on my fast approaching climax.

"I don't fucking this so, wildflower. Eyes on me," he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to my neck.

I shook my head, keeping my eyes firmly locked shut, not trusting myself to hold my shit together. His thrusts slowed.

"Let me see those pretty eyes, baby. Look at me."

I took a deep breath and turned my head back to him, opening my eyes. The tears stayed put, but they threatened to fall over at a moment's notice.

His eyes locked back on mine and I watched as multiple emotions flashed across his face. The eye contact intensified everything again and I felt the orgasm tighten my core.

"That's it, baby. Let me feel you come for me," Negan whispered, his thrusts picking up again.

And I exploded, completely falling apart underneath him. Stars burst behind my eyes and wave after wave of ecstasy washed over me. Those fucking tears fell, trailing down my cheeks.

Negan grunted and I felt his hips stutter as his release filled me.

I tried to catch my breath, but his lips were suddenly kissing across my cheeks and I realized he was kissing the tears away, which only served to trigger them to fall faster.

"Piper…" he whispered, trailing light kisses down to my neck.

I realized that he was still inside me as he put his face directly over mine again and looked into my eyes, the tears finally stopping.

"Please don't ask," I mumbled, looking away from his eyes.

He stared down at me for a minute, his face inching close to mine until our noses touched. My eyes bounced back to his and our breaths mingled in the air around us.

"I… Are you okay okay?"

I frantically nodded my head, attempting a faint smile.

"Of course. Just a whole lot of emotions at once, you know? I'm good, promise."

His grin appeared.

"Good thing you're so smart, because you've never been good at lying, baby," he said, pressing a kiss to my cheek before pulling out and flopping on the bed.

He let out a yelp and jumped up, causing me to sit up quickly and look around for the threat, only to find him standing in front of me, butt naked, with chocolate cake smeared across his ass cheek.

The laugh that fell out of my mouth could be compared to that of a hyena. He looked so stunned that I couldn't stop, my stomach cramping and tears sliding down my cheeks for an entirely different reason now.

"Oh, you think this is funny, huh?" He said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"It's fucking hilarious," I gasped, clutching my side.

He let out a small chuckle before grabbing some napkins from the top of my dresser.

He wiped the icing off of his ass while I continued to howl about how displeased he looked by the whole situation. When he finished and removed the offending, now squished, piece of chocolate cake, he pushed me to the top of my bed and slid in beside me, wrapping his arms around me.

"You're the worst," he smiled into my hair, pressing a kiss on my scalp.

"Might be, but I didn't sit on chocolate cake," I whispered, nuzzling my head into his chest and letting sleep take me.

The next morning came faster than I wanted it to. Negan had to pry me out of bed with promises of coffee before my workout with Laura and Arat, who he had taken to referring to as my sidekicks.

I quickly dressed in black spandex leggings and a black sports bra, with Negan watching me from his seat on the bed the entire time. I hastily pulled my hair back into a high ponytail and slipped on some socks and tennis shoes.

Whirling around to face him, I shot him a smile.

"Lead me to the coffee, boss man."

He stood off the bed chuckling and stepped towards me, grabbing my face in his hands. My breath caught.

"Do you have any idea how incredibly fucking beautiful you are, Piper?" He mumbled, searching my eyes.

I was stunned into silence. A second later, his lips met mine in a kiss that had my head swimming.

He pulled back and looked down at me, a soft smile falling to his face again.

"You're moving into my rooms. I'll have your shit moved while you're at work," he said, placing a kiss to the tip of my nose and letting go of my face.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't you think it would be a good thing to have our space? We do fight sometimes, you know. Exhibit one being last night. I need somewhere to storm off too when I'm mad at you," I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Sure, wildflower. You can storm your ass right to the office or the bedroom or the gym. The lab, the kitchen, wherever you want, really, but then you'll storm your ass right back to bed every night. With me," he responded, a grin pulling at his face.

I rolled my eyes.

"You're a fool, Negan."

"But you love it. Now come on, let's go get you some go-go juice," he said, his dimples making me stare at his face a few seconds longer.

I walked past him towards the door. As my hand touched the doorknob, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to my neck.

I was sitting at my desk around six that same day, totalling what we had produced and feeling a small burst of pride in my chest at how much we had accomplished, when I heard loud voices outside the doors to the lab. High pitched laughing filtered in around me.

The doors to the lab slammed open, and in poured Arat, Laura, and Emily. All three of them had bright smiles plastered to their faces. I took them in. All of them were dressed in comfortable clothing. Laura had two bottles of wine and a bottle of juice in hand and a blanket over her shoulder, Arat was holding onto a small radio and a few CD's, and Emily had a tray of food piled high.

"What're y'all doing?" I asked, laughing at how ridiculous they looked.

"Girls night, bitch. We're prepared to drag you out of here if you won't come willingly," Arat said, grinning at me as the other two burst out in a fit of laughter.

"Can I just have th - " I started.

"Nope. You're done for the night, let's go. I need food," Emily demanded.

I shook my head, figuring I could finish the logs tomorrow, and stood up.

"What I wouldn't fucking give to have my body back," Emily sighed, staring at me.

I looked down. I'd settled for a pair of ripped, tight black jeans and a maroon t-shirt that hugged my body after my workout this morning. I shook my head and looked up at the woman.

"You're literally perfect. Stop it," I said, rounding my desk, "Where are we going?"

"The roof!" Laura said excitedly, opening the door again and ushering us all out.

I followed behind Arat as she led us down hallways and up what felt like a million flights of stairs, Emily groaning the whole time. Once we finally broke through the door to the roof, I was stunned into silence.

It was beautiful. I got a full view of the land around us. A tiny piece of my brain reminded me that not too long ago, I had flung myself from a roof, but I pushed that thought away.

"Holy shit," Emily breathed.

"My sentiments exactly," I agreed.

Laura set to laying out the large blanket towards the ledge of the roof while Arat put the radio close by and started sifting through CD's. Emily promptly sat herself down with the food directly beside her, causing a snort to come from Arat.

"I'm pregnant. I get first dibs, you dick," Emily growled in the woman's direction.

Pink started playing from the radio and we all settled onto the blanket. Emily sat directly to my left, Laura to my right, and Arat on the other side of Laura. Our legs dangled off the roof. We were all quiet for a moment as we looked around. This high up, it was almost like the world was untouched.

Laura cracked open a bottle of wine, earning a groan from Emily who demanded she be able to smell it since she couldn't drink it. We passed the wine around while we ate sandwiches and talked about every random thing that popped into our minds. They talked about their old lives and what jobs they'd held before the collapse, seeming shocked when I told them about my previous employer. We discussed our favorite colors, TV shows, vacations, and everything in between. When there was a brief pause in conversation, Emily felt the need to fill it.

"Listen, I'm gonna ask it since no one else will. What actually is happening with you and Negan?" Emily asked, glancing over at me with a shit eating grin.

"Emily with the important questions here. We all need to know, Piper," Laura chimed in.

I groaned. "What do you mean? I mean, we're together, I think."

"Oh, no ma'am. We're gonna need more than that. How serious is it? Has he said the l-word? Have you said the l-word? How's the sex, on a scale of one to ten? Have you discussed the fact that he, at some point, had multiple wives?" Arat rapidly fired the questions with Emily nodding her head excitedly.

"I feel like I can't tell you any of those things," I laughed, "He's the whole ass leader of this place and I don't want any of you saying something to someone and this conversation getting back to him."

Laura gasped. "We would never! Girl code. What's said on the roof, stays on the roof."

Emily and Arat repeated the last sentence in a solemn tone, causing me to burst out in laughter again. I realized at that moment the wine was already making my head a little fuzzy.

"I can't speak for Negan, but it's serious for me. The 'l-word' has not been said yet. And the sex is… fuck, the sex is a solid fucking eleven. Every single time. Also, no on the wives. It's not important to me who he chose to spend his time with before I came along," I responded, shrugging my shoulders.

I looked around as I finished, dissolving into laughter again when I noticed all of their mouths hanging open.

"You know that he's never said he loves anyone, right? Like he never said that to the wives," Laura whispered, looking at me wide eyed.

"Can confirm. I never once heard him say it to them," Arat agreed.

"But also, let's circle back to the sex," Emily said, "An eleven? Every time?"

I nodded my head, grinning at the pregnant woman.

"Yeah, it's pretty fucking great. Hands down the best sex I've ever had."

That statement earned a round of cheers from the three women.

"Don't you dare fucking tell James I asked this, but how big is he?" Emily whispered.

I threw a sly grin in her direction.

"Oh, he's fucking huge, isn't he? I knew it. No one can walk around with that much confidence and not be packing something impressive," Laura said, causing all of us to start laughing.

"Do you love him, though?" Arat asked, getting serious.

I looked at the sun setting in front of us and smiled as I thought of Negan. His smile, the way he always pulled me back to earth when my anxiety was eating me alive, how he quite literally had gone out of his way to save my life. Plus the unwavering trust he had in what I was capable of.

"I do, but I think I knew that after the first few times he came to Purcellville. Don't get me wrong, we have our things. Like I don't always agree with the way he handles shit and he doesn't love that I have an aversion to listening to quite literally anything he says, but he's the only person I've ever met that I'm willing to work on things with. Plus, he's just different with me. What everyone else gets is not the man I know, if that makes sense," I said, the smile staying in place as I continued to take in the setting sun.

It felt good to be able to say these things out loud.

"Oh, shit. You're so fucked," Laura laughed.

"Literally. Beyond gone for the boss man," Emily giggled.

"Like a match made in hell. You're the only person I've ever met who doesn't bow down to that man," Arat said, chuckling.

"What about you and James? That man looks at you like you hold the answer to every question," Laura said, smiling at Emily.

"He's the love of my life," Emily sighed, a grin tugging at her lips, "Sucks that it took the apocalypse for me to meet him, but I've never been happier."

"I've never felt more alone in my life," Arat grumbled.

"Same, sister," Laura agreed, fist bumping Arat and taking a swig of wine before passing me the bottle.

We all settled into a comfortable silence for a moment.

"I heard you guys are going on a run soon," Emily said, glancing at the three of us.

Arat and Laura were silent, but I felt them look over at me.

"We are. To Purcellville, where I lived before this," I said, keeping my eyes on the horizon.

"Oh, wow. Are you helping them raid the place or something?" Emily asked.

"Something like that. We're going to be bringing back a lot of shit with us, but I'll be leaving there with something bigger," I whispered.

"Like what?" The pregnant woman inquired.

"Revenge. Vengeance. Justice. Their leader slaughtered my parents and my brother in front of me. And I'm going to go kill him," I said, taking a deep pull from the wine.

"Oh my God, Piper. I'm so sorry," Emily whispered.

"It's okay. I need to do this. For them and for myself," I replied.

"Come back in one piece, please. All of you. Get your revenge, get the supplies, and then come back alive," she said, looking down the line of us, "I don't like anyone else here and if I finally made three friends just for them to be blown to shit a few weeks later, I'm going to fucking riot."

Laughter rang out from all of us.

"I'll make sure we all get back here alive," I laughed, bumping Emily's shoulder with my own.

"Do you guys think we would've been friends if we had all met before everything?" Arat asked suddenly.

We looked around at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"For fucking sure. I can't imagine not liking you crazies, even if it was before the dead started walking," Laura said, earning a hum of agreement from me as I took another drink.

"It's wild though, right? That after everything, we're sitting up here, drinking wine, and talking about fucking men," Emily chuckled.

"It really is," I agreed with a smile.

The CD ended and Arat jumped up to replace it. Suddenly, Backstreet Boys started blasting through the speakers, instigating a round of screeches to fall from the lips of the three of us that were still left sitting.

I jumped to my feet and rounded on Arat who immediately started singing Quit Playing Games With My Heart, with me joining in. I used the bottle as a makeshift microphone as all four of us danced around the roof, screaming the lyrics to the sky. It was the best time I could remember having in a long time.

Laura cracked the other bottle open as Emily started singing the opening lines to As Long As You Love Me. I drank more than I probably should have and I didn't give a single fuck about it. When the song ended, claps sounded near the door.

We all whirled to find Negan and Simon standing near the door to the roof, watching with giant grins and amusement all over their faces.

"Well, damn, ladies. That was one hell of a performance," Negan laughed.

"Do we get an encore or was that the last show of the night?" Simon asked.

"Why are you two up here bothering us? It's girls night," I said, with a smile.

"We heard from a little birdie that four women were seen making a mad dash to the roof, and were currently up here causing trouble. Figured we needed to take a fucking look," Negan said, glancing around at the other women with a smile on his face.

"We got your girl drunk. We're not really sorry about it, though," Arat said, laughing a little.

"And we kidnapped her from the lab," Laura stated, leaning on Arat as she laughed.

"Oh, they're all drunk. This is fucking hilarious," Simon mused.

"Hold on, I'm sober. Got a fucking baby in here and all," Emily grumbled, patting her belly.

Negan laughed at that before his eyes flicked to mine.

"You drunk, wildflower?"

"Nope," I said, popping the p and starting to make my way to him, only to stumble a little before I got there.

All three of the women behind me burst out in hysterical laughter. I shot a glare behind me at them.

"Rude," I grumbled before throwing my arms around Negan's neck.

"I think you're a little drunk, doll. You gonna make it to our room?"

"Oh, there's that our room thing again. You two move in together finally?" Simon asked.

"Tonight is the first official night," I started, the wine taking over my mouth, "Negan said I have to stay with him."

"Alrighty then, That's enough of that," Negan said, clamping his hand over my mouth with a laugh.

"It's because she loooooves him," Arat and Laura sang together, again dissolving into laughter, and causing me to do the same.

Negan raised an eyebrow at me.

"All of you are gonna regret this in the morning," Emily laughed, picking up the blanket and the now empty food tray.

"So we're officially official now, are we?" Simon asked with a shit eating grin on his face.

I jerked my mouth away from Negan's hand, the motion causing me to stumble against him again.

"The most official. Because I lo-"

Negan ducked down and swung me over his shoulder.

"And with that, it's bedtime. Can you help these three ladies find their way home, Simon?"

Simon barked out a laugh, "That I can do, boss."

"I can walk! Put me down, Negan Smith!" I demanded.

"Not a chance, wildflower," he said, turning to the door.

A chorus of laughter and slurred versions of "Bye, Piper!" followed us through the door.

Negan started jogging down the steps like he often went down multiple flights of stairs with intoxicated women slung over his shoulder.

"You're gonna make me sick," I grumbled.

"Keep that cheap wine down, wildflower. We're almost there," Negan chuckled.

And he was right. It felt like just a second had passed since we exited the rooftop before he was gently laying me in his bed. Our bed.

I looked up at him, my vision swimming a little. He was grinning down at me.

"I told them you had a big dick and the sex was an eleven," I slurred out, smiling up at him.

His eyes widened and a deep laugh broke out of his mouth.

"You know what? I've had worse things said about me behind my fucking back," Negan voiced, winking at me.

"And that I loved you. Because I really do. I love you so much, Negan," I uttered, my eyelids suddenly becoming too heavy to keep open.

I heard Negan rumble something, and then faintly remember singing a piece of As Long As You Love Me before drifting off to sleep.