Dear readers!
Thank you so much for your feedback and reviews. We found each other even after this terrible site down, even on another site:)
As always, I'm ready with a new chapter a little early (thanks to drafts) and I'm sharing it with you:) No, I can't learn to be an author who posts everything on schedule, I'm too impatient!:)
So, while our Rhett is thinking about what to write in his letter, we get to know James a little closer and meet another new character. New to us, but not to Scarlett:)
Enjoy reading! :)
I own nothing in regard to GWTW.
Chapter 7.
Scarlett and the children were walking around Savannah that day for a reason. After ten days here, she had decided that she would try to find out something about her father's relatives, with no hope of close contact, but she wanted to find these simple people, her relatives.
She remembered her father's older brothers, their children (her cousins), remembered how she and her father spent a couple of weeks here, every summer. Carreen and Suellen had always refused to go, and for her, it had been like a little adventure. Besides, her father always pampered her on these trips more than usual, and Mammy frowned every time she sent her off, knowing that "Little Miss would forget all the rules of behaviour and come back not my lamb but a stubborn mule." Ellen O'Hara only smiled at this, but she knew it was important for her husband to visit his family, important to show off his daughter, so she did not prevent it.
They walked along familiar streets and Scarlett tried to remember where her uncle's shop and the cosy brick house next door were.
"Mummy, aren't we going to get lost?" asked Ella affectionately but anxiously.
Scarlett smiled, took her daughter's hand tightly and said, "Don't worry, Ella. Our carriage will be waiting for us near the park anyway, and I remember the way there."
Here they stopped and Scarlett, wrinkling her nose slightly, said thoughtfully, "Let's go down that street some more, children. If there's no house there either, we'll come back another time, for it's lunchtime and you're hungry."
The children nodded and the three of them went on their way.
They reached almost the end of the street, and when Scarlett was almost desperate, suddenly a familiar brick house and a familiar shop sign appeared in front of her.
"Well, here we are," she said cheerfully but uncertainly to the children and held their hands even tighter.
They entered the shop, the bell above the door rang and while Scarlett and the children looked round, a man in his forties, with brown hair and a neat moustache came out and politely asked, "What can I do for you, Miss?"
Scarlett looked up at him, caught a vague memory and with a faint smile said, "Brian? You're Brian, aren't you?"
The man looked at her questioningly, smiled slightly and said, "Yes, that's me. Have we met before, Miss?"
Scarlett smiled wider and said, "Cousin Brian, have I really changed that much? I'm Scarlett, Katie-Scarlett, Gerald's daughter. Remember when Pa and I used to visit you every summer?"
The man's gaze brightened and he suddenly stepped out from behind the counter, walked quickly over to her and hugged her affectionately.
"Scarlett, Darling! I don't know how I didn't recognize you myself! How beautiful you are! In fact, you haven't changed at all, very beautiful! Darling, I'm going to call everybody. No, I mean I'll close the shop and we'll go to our house, it's lunchtime. Let's go, honey. Are those your children? They're adorable, Honey!"
Brian was talking fast-fast, smiling, fussing, joking.
Scarlett looked at Wade and Ella, they cheered up, looking at their new uncle.
And soon, Scarlett and her children were in a neighbouring house. His family had set a large table, Brian, his wife, their three children, her other cousins, some of whom she remembered only vaguely. It appeared someone had travelled from Ireland and was visiting them. Relatives, relatives, relatives, Scarlett smiled and her head was spinning with the abundance of names.
Her children were quickly invited to play by the other children, and the adults were particularly enamoured of little Ella and her honey-red curls, which, combined with her green dress, made her look like an Irish fairy.
Scarlett was telling Brian about her father, when suddenly the door in the hall opened and a moment later a woman of about thirty entered the room, who seemed familiar to Scarlett, and who, looking at her, exclaimed, "Scarlett! Darling! It's you! My God, it's been years!"
She ran up to her, Scarlett stood up, and whispering, "Gladys..." hugged her cousin tightly.
She was her Uncle Andrew's little daughter, Brian's sister, the late baby.
They were friends, hanging out and playing together every summer. Gladys was five years older, calm, sensible, but always supported all the adventures of her younger cousin. And most importantly, for Scarlett, she had an excellent sense of humour, they loved to laugh and joke, sometimes a little cynically.
After the first greetings and introductions to her children, Gladys took her cousin into the small garden behind the house, sat down on a bench and hugged her once more.
They looked at each other and Scarlett started the conversation, "Gladys, I can't believe it's you! I think we last saw each other, when? I was fourteen and you were nineteen and then they sent you to Ireland, didn't they?"
Gladys chuckled, "Yes, to look for a husband."
Scarlett smiled and asked, "Any luck?"
Gladys giggled again, "Honey, as you can see there is no ring on my finger, so you have a real old maid in front of you!"
Scarlett chuckled again and was surprised, for Gladys had always been a pretty, slim girl, with blue eyes and hair the colour of honey.
"I don't believe it, Gladys, but why?"
Gladys smiled, but answered seriously, "You know, Scarlett, that I would only marry for love. So I haven't met the one yet. What about you, Honey? You've been married a long time, haven't you? Judging by your children..."
"I've been married three times," Scarlett interrupted her, and Gladys noticed how serious and sad her cousin's look had suddenly become.
She tried to joke, "Oh Honey, it looks like you really married instead of me too, I don't have to go there now, " but the joke passed her cousin's ears.
Gladys moved closer, stroked Scarlett's hand affectionately, and, looking into her green eyes, only asked, "Won't you tell me, Scarlett?"
"The first time I married out of spite," she admitted frankly. She was so tired of pretending, and if Gladys didn't want to talk to her afterwards, so be it.
Gladys grinned and only said, "You always do first and think later, Scarlett! How many times as children did we get into trouble because of that? Remember when you bet with my brother that you'd climb the neighbour's tree, and then you couldn't get down neatly, fell and hurt yourself?"
Scarlett nodded, smiled bitterly and continued, "My husband died a month later, but left me a son. I realize now that this is the most precious gift from him."
Gladys nodded and looked at her expectantly.
"A second marriage. I'm ashamed to think of it, but I couldn't do otherwise. Everything depended on me-family, servants, Pa, children..." Scarlett sighed bitterly and recounted the whole situation with the taxes and Frank Kennedy, touching a little on the jail scene.
Gladys was outraged, shocked, but not by her cousin's act. "Scarlett, how did they all let this happen? Your family?! How did they quietly watch you sell yourself to an old man? Why, why didn't you write to my father here? We would have helped, all of us would have helped!" and she hugged her sister in a burst of feeling.
It had been so long since Scarlett had been hugged, she shared the embrace warmly, and then said, "I really hadn't thought about it. I was in blur, I wanted one thing - to save Tara. Our home. My mother's home. And what could they do, I didn't listen to anyone..."
"You know, Scarlett, that's, pardon my rudeness, a lie! You know what they could have done, sit down all together in the parlour and say something like, "Scarlett, we can see that this is a serious matter and you're having such a hard time. Let's think about what we can do, write to someone, ask for help," just like that, Honey!"
Scarlett sighed and shrugged, "It was a done deal anyway, I got married again..."
"Same mistake," added Gladys.
Scarlett continued, "Frank died in a gunfight in a year or so... I stayed with Ella and it's only recently that I've begun to appreciate her. She's a gentle, charming child."
"So, Scarlett," Gladys suddenly asked slyly, "and mystery husband number three, is it for love?"
Scarlett froze. She didn't know the answer to that question herself. At first it was money. No, at first he was her friend. Or had he first made her angry beyond belief.
She spread her hands and said, "This is the Rhett Butler I went to in prison to get help, but I fooled him. He told me then that I wasn't worth $300, but then he paid a lot more for our marriage," she said with a bitter grin, and recounted the story of their acquaintance and recent events, recounting the incident, her husband's departure with her little daughter, her pregnancy, and her miscarriage.
Gladys sat quietly listening to her cousin and looked at her with sadness.
"I was alone in the darkness, without friends. I was tired of gossip, of people. I hardly recognized myself, and what I saw, I hated. That's the state I've been in for the last month, Gladys," concluded Scarlett.
"So it's an escape, is it, cousin? Escape from your husband? From the city?" asked Gladys, looking at Scarlett intently.
"Yes... I realized that if I didn't leave, I would drown and no one would help me. After..." she swallowed and continued, "After my miscarriage, I felt like everyone was supporting me. My closest people were Mammy and Melanie. But then, as soon as I started to recover, their moods changed. They kept telling me about my husband. "Talk to Captain Butler, Scarlett," "Mr Rhett needs your support, my lamb."
"And you didn't talk?"
"No, Gladys, no. I remember every single word he said in that day. He didn't want that baby. Comforting a man who doesn't need it just to keep him playing...," she stopped, closed her eyes for a second, and shook her head negatively. "But," she continued, "He's a good actor. He was probably doing it for our little daughter's reputation."
"Maybe he did want a baby? Did it ever occur to you that he might be lying to you, Scarlett? And about a lot of things?"
"That's nonsense, Gladys... Why would he lie to me? I don't understand why he married me at all. I could have been replaced by any...Any whore..."
"You're saying terrible things, Scarlett."
"I'm sorry, Gladys. I'm soaked in this poison. We've said so many awful things to each other over the last few months, I don't think even sworn enemies behave like that. But he always knows where to hit. He hits the most hurtful thing, and then he stands there, so sarcastic, so cold..."
"I take it that the cause of your last quarrel was that 'boring Ashley Wilkes'? God, Scarlett, don't tell me that childish affection didn't end at your fifteen?" giggled Gladys, and then, looking at her cousin's sad look, shook her head.
"How do you know about Ashley?" asked Scarlett quietly.
Gladys stroked her hand affectionately and joked, "You buzzed my ears during our last summer together. But the only thing I kept thinking about him was 'bo-ring'! Honey, you wouldn't be happy with him for a day, believe me! You need someone who can make you laugh and make those green eyes sparkle!"
Scarlett looked into her cousin's face, smiled slightly, and remembered how Rhett loved to play jokes with her.
Once, early in their marriage, he'd asked her not to go to the sawmill, but to take a day off, but she'd been stubborn. So he set all the clocks in the hotel room, where they were staying, back two hours and asked the staff not to disturb them. They lay in bed all morning laughing, joking, he tickled her and told her silly, funny stories. They even made love that lingering morning.
They hadn't opened the curtains and when she did feel a catch, she realized it was almost noon. Scarlett remembered how angry she'd been with him, but he'd only put his arm around her waist and whispered in her ear, "It was fun, wasn't it, Honey?" But, of course, she sulked at him to the evening.
Gladys watched Scarlett quietly, seeing how thoughtful her cousin was, how soft her features had become, how her green eyes glistened. She did not distract her, but said quietly, "I'll be right back," and went to check on the children and little Ella. She liked that sweet red-haired girl so much.
After lunch, which turned into dinner, Brian found out where they were staying, then persistently asked them to visit again, and when they agreed, he accompanied Scarlett and the children to the carriage. Gladys volunteered to escort them too, and said to her cousin, "I'll see you in a couple of days, and don't you dare disappear, Scarlett! Remember, I know where you're staying now and I'll find you anyway," she joked and kissed Scarlett on the cheek. After saying a warm farewell to their niece and nephew, they put them in the carriage and looked after them for a long time.
Scarlett rode to their home joyful. For the first time in months she felt the warmth of people, ordinary people who didn't care about your status or your money.
The next morning, picking out a dress for the walk, Scarlett was again glad they lived in the country. Yesterday, driving out to Savannah, she'd had to wear a corset and a matching dress with a crinoline. And it had been agony in the hot and humid air.
But today she was able to dress lightly again.
Now, looking at so many of these dresses, Scarlett remembered only how Rhett had chosen them for her in New Orleans, making her try them on one by one and making her nervous.
"Rhett, you know I don't like such simple dresses, no corset, no crinolines, I'm hardly likely to wear them. They are too plain! Look at them, the simple fabrics, this solid-coloured linen, this light muslin, this cotton! I like bright colours, you know that! Well, Rhett, I'm sick of trying them on, I look like a peasant in them!"
Scarlett whimpered and whined as she tried on what she thought was another "plain dress," but Rhett only smiled, watching her every move. If she'd been attentive, she would have noticed the way his eyes lit up when she tried on another dress, the way his breath caught when he looked at her figure without the corset. But, she didn't notice.
Finally, after trying on and adjusting all her outfits, he walked over to her and putting his arms around her, whispered in her ear, "I'm taking you to Italy, Scarlett. To the Mediterranean Sea. You have no idea how beautiful you'll be in those dresses there, against the vast sea or the waves. Darling, let it be my whim, my wish as 'Captain Butler', okay?" he finished with a smile.
Of course the trip didn't happen. First she'd been so eager to build their house, then there'd been the pregnancy and Bonnie, and then the disaster in their relationship.
And the dresses had hung in the far corner of her dressing room until this summer, when she'd thought about how she'd dress there when she'd packed for her trip, mindful of the hot and humid climate, the beach, the sand. Scarlett didn't want to order new dresses, she didn't have the energy or the mood. She had lost weight after all the events, and when she saw the dresses, she knew they would fit her, for she had tried them on before Bonnie was born.
Scarlett sighed, pushed the sad thoughts away, dressed in a light linen dress, grabbed her straw hat and hurried down to the beach with the children. She and James wanted to walk to the lighthouse today and the children were really asking for it too.
They had a strange relationship with James. They learnt as much about each other as they needed to. They talked.
That day, by the lighthouse, while the children were playing, Scarlett asked him about his wife.
"She died in childbirth. Two years ago. The baby didn't survive either," James said briefly, then added, "it's hard, Scarlett."
"I'm sorry, James," Scarlett said quietly, "It really hurts, I understand. Who shares that pain with you?" she asked, looking at his profile. James was staring at the water and his grey hat was casting a shadow over his face.
"Just as you can't understand parenthood if you don't have a child, you can't understand this pain..." he said thoughtfully.
"I lost a child," she said quietly and clearly, interrupting his musings.
James looked up at her, put off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, and Scarlett continued quietly, looking out at the water.
"And this emptiness inside me, it's eating me from the inside out. I know the emptiness of loss isn't going anywhere. But coping with loss isn't something you can do alone."
The man looked at her and his hand almost reached out to touch her hand affectionately, but he stopped himself, only asking, "Would you like to tell me more, Scarlett?"
She hesitated for a moment, then said,
"I had a miscarriage, a couple of months ago..."
He looked at her with pain in his eyes, remembering his loss and asked, "Where's your husband now, why isn't he with you, Scarlett?"
"He didn't want this baby," she whispered, blushing.
"Why not? I mean, he loves your little daughter so much that he wouldn't even let her come here with you..."
This whole conversation with this man seemed unreal to Scarlett. Such frankness...But, she made up her mind.
"He... He doubted paternity..."
James glared at the young woman who clasped her hands together, then nervously twirled her ring, and only asked, "Was there a reason for that?"
Scarlett glared at him angrily, but then averted her eyes and quickly began to explain, "The situation was... But, nothing happened. It's a childhood friend of mine that I seemed to love before. A friendly, comforting hug that turned into a bed scene in the eyes of the entire Atlanta society."
James nodded and only said, "Awkward situations happen, even you and I staying here on the beach right now talking, you can pick on that and fantasise God knows what..."
"My husband knew I loved someone else when I married him... Or I thought I did," Scarlett interrupted him quietly.
James thought for a moment, then asked, "And he married you anyway?"
"He wanted me for himself..." Scarlett stopped talking abruptly, this conversation was getting out of hand.
James realized this and only replied,
"Nonsense."
"What, nonsense?"
"Nonsense and lies, Scarlett."
"What do you mean, James, I don't understand..."
"No man marries a woman and gives his last name just because of bed. There are plenty of ways to avoid marriage and men can be persuasive, believe me. So, it's all lies."
Scarlett looked at him in disbelief, but then only asked, smiling embarrassed,
"Why am I discussing this with you, James? Such frank talk..."
"Sometimes it's better to discuss personal things with a stranger, a fellow traveller on the train or a customer in a bar."
She grinned and he continued, "Well yes, Scarlett, you and I are not in a bar, but out in nature, by the beautiful ocean. And I can see how you're setting yourself up, even though you want to talk. So talk, tell me, I'll listen. Maybe I'll even give you some advice as a friend. We don't know much about each other and we're not prejudiced against each other."
Scarlett listened to him intently, occasionally shifting her gaze to the water, and then her attention was caught by his question, "Do you really have so few friends, Scarlett?"
She smiled bitterly, "To tell you the truth, James, I've always only been able to be friends with men..."
"Oh, then I'm a match," he joked.
"But, all my friends died in the war... All my beaux, friends from the county. There's a brother-in-law, but we seldom see each other and it's easier to keep quiet with him."
"Is there no one left, Scarlett?" asked James, gazing into her green eyes.
She thought for what seemed like a full minute, then said quietly, "There was one friend, now he's gone..."
"And what happened to him?" asked James.
"He became my husband."
James gave her a long look and said, "We should get back Scarlett, it's lunchtime and the sun is too bright today, it's time to go home."
Scarlett nodded, called the children and they headed back together, talking quietly to each other.