Megami no Cafe Terrace is the creation and intellectual property of Seo Koji and Kodansha.

All other franchises and characters mentioned within this story are the intellectual properties of their respective copyright and trademark holders.

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

MUGEN Universe: Tournament of Champions.

Nobody was attending the cafe anymore.

The short haired shapely blonde leaned ahead on her mop and scowled. "The business hasn't been doing well since the end of the world was announced."

Maybe she should do something about that?

Hououji Akane.

Origin: Megami no Kafeterasu.

A 20-year old current part-timer at Familia Café Terrace in Japan. She is also the guitarist and vocalist of a music band.

Hailing from a wealthy family, she is a woman of few words but a noble heart.

Stage: The Familia Cafe Terrace. In the background, Kasukabe Hayato stands looking worried, Ono Shiragiku dances giggling with a bottle of sake in her hand, and Tsukishima Riho constantly runs from one side to another, looking for cover.

Opening Poses and Lines:

Akane bows professionally. "I hope the incoming beatdown doesn't dissuade you from eating at the Familia. Usually we treat our customers much better than this."

Akane sighs. "Maybe I shouldn't have done this. I'll be mistaken for that brutish Akane from that cheap Dojo..."

Vs. Konoe Konoka:

Akane hums. "Konoka-chan. You've grown up a lot."

Konoka blinks. "Sorry, do I know you?"

"Well, it's been a lot time since last time I was taken to visit your family, I guess. If I win, will you back our cafe finanically?"

"Sorry, but that would create a conflict of interests! I am already backing the Chao Bao Zi after Chao-chan left!"

"I see. No hard feelings. What about backing my band then?"

"That would go against the interests of Decopin Rocket... But I'm not that close with the cheerleaders! Okay!"

"I have no real idea what are you talking about, but that's great!"

Vs. Darkwing Duck:

There is a cloud of purple smoke and Darkwing appears in it. "I am the fly in the soup of crime! I am the jealous rival cook who gets your restaurant closed! I am Darkwing Duck!"

"Is that a threat?" Akane deadpans.

Darkwing blinks. "Huh? No! I only thought it'd be a fitting entrance for this kind of-"

"I'm throwing you out, you're scattering feathers all over the floor."

Vs. Kusanagi Kyo:

"So you're one of those street fighting guys, huh? Could you give me an autograph? It's for my friend Ami. She's a friend of that kinda thing."

"You aren't taking this all that seriously, do you?" Kyo asks.

"Do I look like the kidding type?" Akane asks in trade.

"On second thought..."

Vs. Akira:

Akane walks into the Ice Cold Sphere. "Hello...? Is anyone here?"

Akira floats down to stand before her. "Why have you wilingly walked into your destruction, woman?"

Akane stares at him for a moment, then turns around and begins walking away. "Sorry if I disturbed you..."

Akira raises a hand and a wall of psychic energy stops her. "There is no turning back for you now. Fight me for everyone's sake!"

Akane turns back from her turning back. "At least raise the temperature a bit, I'm freezing alive here."

Vs. Belldandy:

Belldandy floats down to greet Akane. The Norn smiles.

"A, a ghost!" Akane gasps.

"No, you're mistaken," Belldandy says sweetly. "I am the Norse goddess of the present."

Akane squints at her suspiciously.

Belldandy clears her throat. "Anyway, if you would defeat me, not only will Earth be spared destruction, but you will be granted a single wish of your choice."

"And here I just wanted to steer our business back into shape. Could you make my band successful? Even though we aren't that talented?"

"Don't be silly, Hououji-san, plenty of bands succeed despite having no talent at all."

"That much is true, I suppose."

"But is that what your heart really wishes?"

"Huh?"

Belldandy starts levitating as she summons the Dimensional Tide around her. "Fight for that wish, until your body breaks..."

Heavy Moves:

Upwards Mop Stab: Akane pokes up with the end of her mop. Anti aerial move.

Mop Sommersault: Akane slams her mop down and uses ito impulse herself ahead in a kick with both legs.

Mopping Bashdown: Akane brutally pummels the opponent several times with her mop.

Axing with the Ax: Akane pulls her guitar out of Anime Comedy Harem Hammerspace and briefly pummels her rival with it.

Ax Whirlwind: Akane pulls her guitar out of Anime Comedy Harem Hammerspace and spins around swinging it to hit everyone around her.

Super Moves:

Makuzawa Ouka:

Akane calls on her colleague Ouka, a red-haired Tsundere who latches on her adversary and hits them several times in the head before running back away. Unlike the next two assists, if the opponent reacts quickly enough they can hit Ouka before she hits them, and if that happens Akane loses what is left of her Power bar.

Kariyazaki Rei:

Akane calls on her acquaintance Rei, a young, naive, ponytailed brunette who hits the opponent with a combo of karate hits, finishing it with an axe kick, before running back away.

Tsuruga Ami:

Akane calls on her colleague Ami, a young woman full of energy who runs in, happily wallops the opponent with two dumbbells, and runs back away.

You Pay the Bill:

Akane grabs the opponent and starts stuffing food down their mouth stoically until they back away and choke on it.

It lowers health and stuns the opponent for further attacks.

Service with a Smile:

At no point Akane smiles during the execution of this Super. She charges back, readies a punch, dashes ahead delivering a Super blow, and if the opponent is sent flying from a successful connect, she bats them into the sky with her mop.

Victory Poses and Lines:

Akane pulls a microphone out and starts singing.

Akane shakes her head in disapproval, puts her hands on her hips, closes her eyes and waits for her next fight.

Vs. Konoe Konoka:

"So, about that sponsorship..." Akane says.

"Hai, hai, but before that, I must ask you, have you seen a boy named Negi-kun?"

"A boy named Negi Springfield, really short, a shota with dark red hair and dumb tiny glasses?"

"Yeah, that one! Where is he?! Please tell me!"

"I think Ami found him on our way and has started dating him right now."

"Why, that cheeky little fellow! The girls will be mad!"

"To be honest it's not like he had a choice on it."

Vs. Darkwing Duck:

"Don't be afraid. Canard a l' orange isn't in our menu."

"Ah-ha-ha, very funny..."

"We might get in trouble with the sanitary committees. I'd like to think we have higher standards than that."

"Tell me where your business is so I never go there!" the offended Darkwing says.

Vs. Kusanagi Kyo:

"So, how about that autograph now, huh?" Akane asks.

"You don't have to use that tone, I'd have used it even if I had won." Kyo gestures for something. "Pen?"

"Uh, sorry, I'm afraid I don't have one on me right now."

"Oh, come on...!"

"Hey, you're the one who should have one in that jacket. I'm just wearing a waitress uniform."

Vs. Akira:

After earning renown for saving mankind, Akane make it to the covers of Rolling Stone and several other high profile music magazines all across the worlds.

She had all sorts of merchandise modelled after her, and even the Batman liked her music.

She even beat the odds and didn't join the Club of the 27.

This is who Hououji Akane got to be your favorite idol ever.

Suck on that, Loco Musica and Erszbeth Bathory!

Vs. Belldandy:

The world is somewhat back to normal.

Belldandy, Morisato Keiichi, Urd and Skuld are all eating at the Familia Cafe.

"So! Other than your being the most hated woman in the planet now, everything turned out just fine!" Keiichi happily tells Belldandy.

"Hai, Keiichi-san!" she smiles, right before a brick shatters the window behind her and hits her in the head.

"HEY!" Skuld says. She and Ami run out to bust some heads.

Urd groans. "So, where is Akane anyway? I wonder what use is she making of her wish."

Somewhere else, Hayato gently caressed Akane's face as he took her from behind...

Good night, everyone!

Next Challenger: Why are you asking me? I just write the thing.