Severus and Sirius Go on a Shopping Trip
Severus didn't want to go shopping today for a number of reasons Lily seemed to dismiss. He'd said he was beginning this school year as the new Headmaster, replacing Minerva so she and Elphinstone could spend more time together in their twilight years; Lily said he had a month before term started. He'd said he had to familiarize Harry with the duties of a Defense professor; Lily said she and Remus could help him. He'd said it wasn't necessary for him to go along and make sure the gift was suitable, given the five baby showers that had preceded it; Lily reminded him that, during Marley's baby shower for Philip, an action figure spewing blood had been found among the presents.
And now, Severus reluctantly found himself chaperoning a 38-year-old Sirius Black through Diagon Alley, and he was just as much a menace as his namesake.
"I was thinking of some toys from Zonko's," Sirius was saying, "although I suppose I ought to support Fred and George a bit. There's a pair of dentures that act like those wind-up teeth when you put them in; I figure the little one could have some fun with that."
"Do you put any thought into what leaves your mouth?" Severus asked irritably.
"The more I think, the worse the ideas get."
"You are not putting chattering dentures into my grandchild's mouth!"
"Alright, professor!" Sirius exclaimed, putting his hands up. "I'm just thinking of ways to keep the babe entertained."
Severus let out a huff as they stepped into Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. "Your wife needs to have your mind checked."
"Susan and Reg are well, thank you for asking."
"And I suppose both were too busy to come along?"
"Well, if Susan came, I don't think she'd let me buy anything, to be honest."
"... she doesn't know, does she?"
"Not a bit, no." Sirius traced the shelves, looking behind the toys for anything hidden. "Since dentures are out of the question, how about some of that Instant Darkness Powder."
"We both recall the incident with the twins."
"... you have to be more specific when you say 'twins'."
"Jerome and Nicholas."
"Right," Sirius nodded, pulling his hand away. "Right, that went tits up, didn't it?"
Severus glanced over at a mother and child, the former covering the ears of the latter as she guided the two of them away. He turned back to Sirius and said, "Is there anything on your mind that doesn't have a chance of rendering Marlene's house inhospitable?"
"How about some of those candies that make you sound like animals?"
"The baby won't have teeth to eat them with."
"Right."
"Can't you just buy something with utility?"
"Where's the fun in that?" Sirius looked around a bit more before walking over to the counter. "Alright, George?"
"Morning, Mr. Black," George said with a grin. "Professor, I wouldn't have expected you here."
"I'm keeping Mr. Black from buying something hazardous."
"Ah right, the baby shower. Sent my regards to Marley."
"She got the letter, that was kind of you."
"So, anything?" Sirius asked.
"Newborns? Nothing that wouldn't land you in hot water."
"Damn. Well, thanks anyway."
"Don't be a stranger!" George called after them as they left.
Severus's eye remained on Sirius as they wandered through Diagon Alley, continuing to disapprove of each gift Sirius selected. It wasn't until they entered the pet shop that Severus thought there was some hope of something normal being chosen.
"Do they like dogs?" Sirius asked. "I heard my uncle did. He was an Animagus, you know."
"... I'm aware," Severus replied.
"And Marley always liked Brandy," Sirius continued. "Do you think she prefers big or little dogs?"
"When she was younger," Severus answered, deciding to humor Sirius, "she was fond of the dog in Peter Pan."
"Oh, Nana?" Sirius scanned the selection of dogs before stopping and moving to a lone St. Bernard sitting in the corner of its enclosure. The man knelt and peered inside, and Severus watched as the puppy sat up and slowly waddled over to the front. Sirius looked around for the shopkeeper and called out, "How much for this one?"
"40 Galleons," the shopkeeper answered as she approached.
"40?!"
"This bloody economy," Severus muttered as he dug into his pocket.
"Oh, don't worry, professor," Sirius said quickly, "I can pay."
"Are you certain?"
"No worries." Sirius withdrew 40 Galleons from his coin purse and handed them to the shopkeeper before picking the St. Bernard out of the enclosure. "Hello..." Sirius lifted the puppy higher so that he was eye-level with the space between its legs. "... hello, girl!" he finished with relief, lowering her and letting her nuzzle against his chest. "You'll make a fine guard dog."
Severus took a good look at Sirius and froze. He had the same height and build as his namesake, his hair the same length, and his beard styled in the same manner on an identical face, all of which framed the grey eyes of the House of Black. Due in part to the brief time Severus had spent deceased, he had developed rather complicated beliefs about the afterlife, but those beliefs had never included the sort of reincarnation taught by Dharmic religions; seeing into the man before him, as he'd seen into Neville and Harry when they had been born, he knew this wasn't the same soul as his namesake. But a moment was enough to make him believe it, and (oddly enough) it was the first time he could tolerate it.