Two: Illusions of Normality

In the darkness, the castle glowed. Light slipped out through a hundred different windows, the lake glittering with it. Hogwarts welcomed its children home, its wonder and beauty in stark contrast with this new world. It would almost make her believe none of this had happened, if not for the Thestrals pulling the carriages, black winged horses more skeleton than flesh. Luna and Harry had been able to see them.

Now Ginny could too. Her hand rested against the side of the Thestral as it turned its head towards her in perfect silence. Almost impossible to believe they'd flown them to the Department of Mysteries. Briefly, irrationally she hated the beasts. If they hadn't been in the Forest, they'd never made it to the Ministry. She turned away and stepped into a carriage, the Patil twins and Lavender Brown trailing her.

The first half of the ride went by in silence. She'd never had much in common with any of the girls, a year older and occupied with things she had hardly cared for and nowadays even less. Except for one thing, she supposed. And it was that that finally broke the silence.

"We need the D.A. again this year," Lavender began.

Ginny looked up, surprised that Lavender of all people would care enough to bring it up. But she was the only one who was surprised. The three sixth year girls had clearly discussed this beforehand. It made her angry, as did Lavender's presumptions.

"Do we? It's not like it truly changed anything," she said, bitterly. Luna and Neville had improved by leaps and bounds. It had done them little good.

"How can you say that?" Lavender said, voice rising but Parvati placed a hand on her arm, cutting her off.

"If anything, what happened proves we need it even more," Parvati said with a certainty that Ginny envied.

"Maybe. Or maybe it'll just give children the idea that they can fight like adults," she said. They had never been an army, simply playing at war. Only, the Death Eaters hadn't been playing.

"You know what's out there, it's going to come for us. Better to be prepared," Padma said, sounding so reasonable that Ginny wanted to throttle her.

"Perhaps," she said.

"Besides, odds are the DADA Professor will be another idiot," Padma continued with a shrug. "I can learn better on my own. Or with you all." The other two nodded along and with Hogwarts' track record, after Umbridge, Ginny found it hard to argue.

"But who would run it? Harry's… Harry's gone," and so are his two lieutenants, she added in her head. She could almost hear the spectre of Riddle that still lingered inside her mind rejoice.

The rest of the carriage fell silent and very pointedly wasn't looking at her. Then realisation hit her. Suddenly it made sense why they'd shielded her so, and why they were here in the carriage with her now.

"You expect me to do it?" she asked, voice cold.

"Well, who else could do it? You know your stuff," Padma said, her tone placating. That just made Ginny even madder.

"Because I was there?" she pressed. "Does that make me qualified? Hey, I saw my friends get killed and got cursed myself, but at least I survived, so I know everything about defence now? That's not how it works," she snapped.

She'd become a figurehead, Ginny realised. The fucking Girl Who Survived. Is this how Harry had always felt? Everyone looking to him, not because of who he was, but because of what had happened to him, it made her sick. This was worse than people pitying her, or needling her for what really happened. They wanted to make her a hero. They wanted her to replace Harry.

Parvati, Padma and Lavender all looked a bit pale, exchanging worried looks, trying to find something to say in the face of her fury. When Padma finally opened her mouth, Ginny cut her off.

"If you say another word, I'll curse you," Ginny warned. "You do what you want, but I'm not leading the D.A. and that's final."

The rest of their journey continued in silence and as soon as the carriage stopped, she couldn't put enough distance between her and the three girls quickly enough.

Sitting in the Great Hall felt wrong. Her eyes kept wandering, searching the table for Weasley red hair. Only there wasn't any. Instead, her eyes kept getting drawn to the black banners still decorating the hall. Cedric had been remembered for one feast, it seemed the mourning for five lasted longer. As if anyone needed a reminder.

At least she was back, safely entrenched amidst Gryffindors. Parvati and Lavender had taken a seat on her left and Ginny was doing her best to ignore them, still furious. Seamus and Dean, the latter also wearing a new prefect's badge, were on her right and desperately tried to avoid looking at her scars. Yet from time to time, when they reached for a dish on the left side of the table, they caught a glimpse and Ginny could just see them shudder with horror. It hurt more from Dean, she'd liked him. Fancied him even once, before it all went to hell.

And now he found her hideous. Harry's scar had made him a tragic hero. Hers were just ugly. It didn't matter, she told herself as she ate, despite not feeling very hungry. From the corner of her eye, she could see Colin working up the courage to speak to her. Ginny didn't mind, she was also still working up the courage to speak to him. What do you tell a boy whose hero died?

The girl opposite her, however wasn't looking away. Braided brown hair, looking about a year younger and with blue eyes that showed not even the slightest hint of revulsion. If anything, her eyes were filled with admiration. But that didn't sit quite right with Ginny either.

She knew her. Demelza something. Third year. Fourth year now. Always wandering around with a broom. As far as Ginny knew, she'd never been awful to Harry. That earned her some credit. Her staring on the other hand endeared her less to Ginny. Harry would have just ignored it, but that had never really worked out for him, had it?

"Demelza, right?" she asked, the girl starting when she was caught staring. Everyone around her fell silent. Gryffindor, house of the brave and the dramatic.

"Yes," she said. To her credit, she didn't look away.

"Like what you see?" she asked, perhaps slightly sharper than necessary. The silence was now spreading across the table.

"No. Yes," Demelza stammered, then her expression hardened. "We'll get them," she promised, looking at Ginny's scars. "For that. For everything."

Ginny decided Demelza deserved the benefit of the doubt.

"Agreed," Ginny said, but before she could say more, Dumbledore rose and the Great Hall fell just as silent as the people around her.

"Good evening everyone," Dumbledore said, rising and spreading his arms.

The first thing she noticed was that his tone lacked the cheerfulness of old. The second thing she noticed was his hand, now a blackened and dead-looking thing. Cursed, that she knew instinctively with the certainty of someone who had been cursed herself. All the whispers that around her told the same, Voldemort's name was on everyone's lips. She could hardly fault them for it. Who else could have hurt the greatest wizard alive? The one who had duelled Voldemort to a standstill with Harry's body at his feet only three months earlier?

"Ah, the perspicacity of the youth. Do not concern yourself with it. Baking accident," Dumbledore said with a gesture at his hand, the charm of old briefly resurfacing before a shadow passed across his face yet again. "Another year, yet a year like no other. Last year, we lost five of our students. Over the summer, we lost several more," Dumbledore continued.

The hall had gone deathly quiet as Ginny remembered the other headlines of the summer, of houses empty come the morning, bathed in the green light of the Dark Mark. Perhaps you couldn't see the empty seats in the Great Hall, but you could feel them.

"These are dangerous times. Friends are lost, or become lost. Own talents prove insufficient. One would be forgiven for believing there is no battle to be won, no glory to be found, no light to turn to..." Dumbledore said, voice trailing off.

The Headmaster looked like he was somewhere else. Somewhere far away with the ghosts of Harry and the others. The Hall looked at him in confusion and even horror, expressions mirrored on the faces of the teachers. And in that moment, Ginny hated him. Hated him for giving up. Hated him for being so mortal, instead of the only one who Voldemort ever feared. Above all, she hated him for voicing the thoughts that had been haunting her for months now.

And then, almost impossible, the light in his eyes returned, even if his voice remained grave.

"Yet we still march on. I promise you that I will not fail you like I failed six of you last year. Most of this summer, I have devoted to strengthening the castle's fortifications. Voldemort and his followers gather outside, that I cannot deny. However, that is where they will remain," he said.

Briefly, Ginny felt hope, so certain he sounded. Then the anger returned. He'd been there, right there when Harry had died. And still he dared to make promises. But Dumbledore continued, unmindful of her inner turmoil.

"Still, I implore you to be vigilant. Report suspicious behaviour and abide by the rules, including the rule that you are not to be out of after hours. While usually solely there to shield you from any youthful foolishness, and thus to be circumvented at times, this time it is for your protection. Please, help us keep you safe," Dumbledore said.

"That said, I do have some good news," Dumbledore continued, the hint of a smile, of the Dumbledore of old sneaking its way back in. "It is my pleasure and honour to introduce you to a former and now again current colleague of mine, Horace Slughorn," Dumbledore said with a wave towards a bald, rotund man who waved genially at the Hall. "Who will resume his old position as Potions Master."

Potions? And then it dawned on her. Snape was finally getting what he'd always wanted. Another class to ruin. The Hall was still slouching towards the same conclusion when Dumbledore turned to Snape.

"Professor Snape will assume the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor."

The whispers turned to louder deliberations, even as the Slytherin table burst into applause. Ginny wanted to hex them all. They were really going to need the D.A. this year. Her fingers dug into the table, realising that if Harry had been here, he'd have shouted out his horror for all the world to hear. The same horror she saw mirrored on her housemates' faces, in particular those sixth years who had finally believed to be rid of them, those same sixth years who'd all made it into DADA .T.'s because of Harry.

"Fuck," Seamus said rather empathically and Ginny could only agree with that assessment.

The silence in her dorm was maddening. All the girls were looking at her, but none dared to speak. What would they even say? It's not as if they'd ever been friends. She had Tom to thank for that. During her first year, he'd isolated her and after that, the cliques had been formed, none of them including Ginny. They'd laughed at her jokes, enough that people thought she was popular, but they'd never let her in. Just another thing Tom had taken from her.

She could feel him still, living inside her skull, his whispers always just at the edge of her awareness.. Lately, she'd been hearing him more and more, at night when she couldn't sleep. And when Harry had collapsed, she'd heard him laugh.

It didn't matter, she told herself. None of the girls in her year had attended the D.A. None of the boys either, except for Colin, who'd also lost most of that first year. They hadn't believed Harry either. She could do without them. She would do without them. She tossed her belongings on her bed and headed for the common room.

This early in the year, there was still a semblance of order to the place, though Fred and George's absence no doubt had also helped. The fact that everyone was still unpacking also helped. Everyone except Demelza at least, of whom she still wasn't sure about the surname. She just sat there, staring into the fire. The urge to leave before Demelza noticed her was almost overpowering, but then she remembered the fire behind the girl's eyes. Something other than pity.

"Hi," Ginny said a bit awkwardly.

"Hi," Demelza said, looking up briefly and trying to smile. "I'm sorry about staring before."

"It's fine," Ginny said, hovering near the couch Demelza was sat in a second longer before dropping down next to her. "I know they're ugly scars. I specifically asked for one like Harry's, but Dolohov's a bit hard of hearing," she said, earning her a shocked laugh from Demelza, who instantly looked guilty for having laughed at it.

Ginny felt a bit guilty herself, not quite sure where that horrible joke had come from. But at least it had blocked off any further discussion of her injuries. After more than a month in a family united by grief, it felt almost like a relief to be free from it. To no longer sit through all those choking silences or reflective moments whenever they noticed the empty chair. To be able to smile, even if it was still a bit forced. To have to think about nothing bigger than Hogwarts.

"So, you like to fly, right?" Ginny said, seizing upon what little she knew of the girl. "Plan to try out for Quidditch?"

"Yeah, I've been dreaming about it for years, but well, hard to compete with the Chasers they had," Demelza said. "Will you still be playing?"

"Yes," Ginny said instinctively. That was the one thing she'd been sure about before returning. She needed to be up in the sky.

"As Seeker?" Demelza asked cautiously. Ginny shook her head. She'd given it a lot of thought every time she rose high into the sky. It was difficult to imagine someone taking Harry's place, but it was impossible to imagine her taking it again.

"No, Chaser. Sorry about reducing your chances," she said. Demelza grinned.

"Have you seen the fliers we have in our house? If I can't beat them to the remaining spot, I should just hang up my broom."

"Yeah, that's true," Ginny agreed. "Do you know anyone else who will try out?" she asked, wondering how they'd ever find five new players. Angelina, graduated. Fred and George, sort of graduated. Harry and Ron…

"Apparently McLaggen wants to be Keeper," Demelza said.

"No," Ginny said, shivering at the thought of it. If she'd had to choose between McLaggen as their Keeper and getting cursed by Dolohov again… well it'd be a long Quidditch season, but still, she really didn't want him. She'd need to have a talk with Katie beforehand.

"He's pretty awful, isn't he?" Demelza admitted. "He has nice eyes though," she said, sounding almost wistful.

"Demelza!" Ginny gasped.

"But he's just so… dreamy," Demelza said, looking for a second so much like Romilda Vane that it's uncanny. Then they both burst out laughing. And just for a second, Ginny wondered if somehow it'd be alright after all. Or at least, that she could sometimes pretend it was. So she kept laughing and if it was a bit too loud, a bit too forced, no one commented on it. And if the fire in the hearth reminded of a raging fire running through the Ministry's Atrium, well, she could pretend not to see that either.

A/N: What's this? Already a deviation from my posting schedule? Call it a release week special. That and the fact that this one's a relatively short chapter. Hence, I would feel a bit guilty about only posting this next Wednesday, especially with the lovely reviews that trickled in so far. Much love, S.