Severus was honest-to-Merlin trying to be patient around the students, but both Minerva with her fiendish schedules and the students with their blithering idiocy were conspiring to sabotage him. There were four double-classes in preparation for mid-year examinations today, two in the morning and two in the afternoon. In all that he had given out only two detentions, so at the end of the day, he had to congratulate himself for his own self-control, since no one else would do it. Those two Gryffindor sixth years soundly deserved their punishments, he thought self-righteously, for using the engorgement charm to increase the weight of the liverwort they had chopped, rather than going back to the supply cabinet for more. Minerva did not find fault with him when she asked him about it that evening (he had deducted rather a lot of house points as well). Magically falsifying potions ingredients was such a profoundly idiotic and juvenile mistake, they had both questioned if the students had somehow cheated on their O.W.L.s. After all, Severus made sure to caution against such foolishness in the first and second year classes as part of the Basic Principles of Potioneering curriculum... Really, they were lucky to get off with just one detention each. A few weeks ago, he would have assigned them a month's worth, and possibly banned them from his class.
It occurred to him on the way back from dinner, he did not remember exactly when Horace Slughorn had covered the subject, though. He was sure the old potions master did, of course, but perhaps it had been later on, in which case the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh years could all be missing out simply because of the change in professor. He made a mental note to himself to check if Minerva had any of Horace's old syllabi on file and to test all the upper years on their foundational knowledge again to ensure there were no glaring gaps. He could probably still addend it to the midterms next week. Depending on the results, he was strongly considering restricting his N.E.W.T. classes to those with Outstanding rather than Exceeds Expectations at the end of fifth year. The event today had proved harmless, because he had noticed and destroyed the botched potion early. But some of the other advanced brews could have produced dangerous effects instantly. The whole class could have ended up in the hospital wing or even St. Mungo's if the day's lesson had concerned the Essence of Insanity rather than the Galenic Wound Cleaning Potion...
He decided not to grade any papers yet when he arrived back in his quarters, for the sake of his red ink supply. Instead, he opened the Protean journal to find something completely unexpected: several pages were covered in multi-colored scribbles which appeared to be wax crayon when he inspected it. Fortunately, he could still mostly make out his and Petunia's most recent conversation underneath, and the scribbles only filled one more page after the end of the writing. It was fairly obvious what had occurred, but he still asked, What happened? -S
He grinned when Petunia wrote back, Dudley and Harry did. I put the kettle on and was about to start writing you about... I don't even remember anymore. Nothing important. But the postman came with a package I had to sign for, then the kettle was boiling, then I spilled the tea... long story short, they found the journal. Hope you like the artwork they made just for you. -P
It's very avantgarde -S
It really isn't. All of their drawings look exactly the same -P
I disagree. I clearly recall one done all in purple before. It's entirely different. -S
Very funny -P
She seemed right peeved today. She even drew an angry face to punctuate her words. Then to his surprise, more crayon started appearing. He smiled as he watched several stick-figure people take shape. And an unidentifiable stick-figure non-human creature. Objectively, the drawings were quite horrifying, with their huge blobby heads, dysmorphic features, gaping smiles, and vague impressions of limbs with no real body to speak of, Severus mused. It was only the fact they were drawn by a tiny child that made them remotely appealing. Petunia helpfully labeled them Severus, Harry, Petunia, Dudley, Vernon, cat. I told Harry to draw a special picture for Uncle Sev -P
You'll have to thank him for me. Perhaps more art supplies are in order for Christmas this year -S
That, or a rucksack. We finally found a preschool with open seats, and the boys will be starting in January. Just mornings. I did also fix things with Arabella and we agreed to have her keep the boys for a few hours this Friday while Vernon and I go out. If that goes well, I'll let her watch Harry while we take Dudders to visit the grandparents in London the week before Christmas. -P
Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. -S It would be nice to have an excuse to visit.
I will. She seemed very confident, though. Apparently she used to babysit her nephews when they were little, so she's not nervous about accidental magic -P
Severus winced. Those nephews were all dead now, as far as he knew. That was Arabella's tale to tell, though. I hope it works out well. -S
I'm hopeful it will. Dudley's tantrums have gotten a bit better recently. How was your day? -P
Severus stared at the question in surprise. He didn't recall her ever asking him generally about his life before. Was she genuinely curious, or being polite? Bored? He realized he was waiting too long and wrote back honestly, Long. Two of the senior students made an error so egregious this afternoon... well, let's just say I'm reassessing my efficacy in the classroom, if any pupil of mine for almost three years could do that. -S
What on earth did they do? -P Briefly, Severus explained what had happened, in as muggle-friendly terms as he could. He was still surprised she was expressing interest in his work. So, it would be like making a meat pie and not having enough lard for the pastry, so mixing in some lye soap on the principle it used to be lard? -P
That wasn't a bad analogy actually. Sort of, if the risks of adding the soap included making something not just moderately poisonous but probably deadly and possibly explosive. -S He further explained the various corrective measures he was planning, which led to her inquiring what O.W.L.s actually were. Lily had worried a lot about them in Petunia's hearing but never really specified, and Petunia at the time had not cared to ask for clarification. After detailing what the fifth and seventh year standardized exams generally entailed, Petunia concluded they were basically equivalent to the non-magical GCSEs and A-levels, respectively, and suggested perhaps he should write to the administrative body that ran the exams to see if he could review the potions theory questions from the previous year like some muggle teachers did. He quickly decided that was an excellent suggestion. He could even offer to write additional question stems for the examination himself if he decided the current rubric was inadequate. He was not sure what exactly was the process for that kind of thing, but it shouldn't be hard to figure out. Minerva would know.
He was even composing the letter to the Department for Magical Education in his head when Petunia's next question popped up. Any news about your mother? -P
His improving mood soured again. She asked at least once per week, and he was not sure how to get her to stop without seeming rude. The fact he was reluctant to be rude probably meant some part of him appreciated the question, he acknowledged. He normally had zero compunction against incivility around anyone but the Dark Lord himself, and then only for self-preservation. No change. We had a better day than usual on Sunday, because all we did was play cards rather than talk about anything important -S It had been a day of insight as to why Severus hadn't noticed her illness earlier; Eileen was good at faking being fine when she was permitted to ignore her problems. Of course, her biggest problem was her entire personal life, so it was impossible or at least distinctly unhealthy to ignore most of the time.
This must be so difficult for you. If there's anything you need, please let me know. I feel bad that you're always the one offering to help when you have so much more on your plate than I do, really. -P
Thank you for your concern, Petunia. I can honestly say though that this journal is my respite from everything else. -S
There was a long pause. I will take your word for it. I will also give you permission, should something happen that you need a bit more of a respite than a few minutes' writing in a journal, you may visit me and the boys without planning ahead of time. With due caution, of course. I might complain about them, but I still find the children to be the best comfort in the world when I'm sad or stressed about anything other than them -P
Her open invitation was not something Severus was expecting, not for a long while at least, and he was genuinely touched at the thoughtfulness. But he was also suspicious of it, somehow. Minerva and Albus were both acting differently now they knew his mother was sick, tiptoeing around as if he were some delicate flower the moment he became mildly annoyed with either of them. Being treated as fragile was more annoying than anything else, though, so he did not know why they bothered. He definitely did not want Petunia to start doing the same. He did not want an... artificial relationship with her and her family. That would be almost as bad as being thrown out on his ear again. Are you sure? -S
Of course I'm sure, weirdo! -P
His threatening tears vanished in a snort of laughter. Just checking you weren't being impersonated or something. I humbly offer my sincere gratitude for your generosity. Thank you for your kindness, Petunia -S
Severus loathed grading mid- and end-of-term examinations, particularly given how eye-openingly bad half the grades were proving to be. But he would have given anything to keep doing it that Saturday morning in December, the first day of the winter holidays. Instead, Albus appeared quite suddenly in his quarters, burning into existence via phoenix travel. "We are needed at St. Mungo's," the headmaster said gravely, extending a hand. His heart in his mouth, Severus took the hand wordlessly, and they disappeared in flames.
When the flames dissipated, Severus found himself staring instead at a wall of gray smoke. At first, he did not understand what he was seeing, until the smoke suddenly darted away from the large hall-facing window of Eileen's room. The smoke was her Obscurus, ripping the room apart. Eileen herself was sitting on the floor in the middle of the destruction, eyes wide and rolled back in her head. "Former headmistress Dilys Derwent has a portrait here," Albus explained rapidly. "Dilys alerted me the attack started about ten minutes ago, now. The healers have no way to safely calm her down, and she's shown no signs of stopping on her own."
"What can we do?" Severus asked.
"You need to ground her."
"How?"
"I will shield you, and you will talk to her. Talk to her about happier, quieter, calmer times. Try to make her remember the love in her own life."
"That's the best advice you have?"
"Yes."
So, do the impossible. If happy, loving times existed for the Snape family, Severus did not remember them. He did not tell that to Albus, though, only nodded tightly.
Albus raised his wand. "Protego maxima."
White-faced Healer Valerian opened the door for them and a passage in the shield charms encasing the room, and closed both behind them. As soon as they fully entered the room, the Obscurus threw itself against Albus' shield. The smoke was merely dust, as it happened, dust that blew around the dome of the shield, but the Obscurus continued to hammer against them, invisible, and silent but for the bell-like reverberations of the Protego maxima. Albus took his shoulder reassuringly and guided him over to Eileen.
Severus sank to his knees in front of her. "Mother, it's Severus. I'm here..." Now what? Eileen did not move. The Obscurus rang against their dome again. He edged closer and folded his arms around her. "Mother, you're safe. You can let it go. You can just be here with me."
The Obscurus struck from above, and Albus' shield scored a perfect circle in the floor around them with the blow. "Love, Severus, remember?"
"Mother... you can stop this. I'm here. I'm here for you. I love you." Ugh, the simple phrase sounded so hollow, even to his ears! He couldn't remember the last time he had actually said that to his mother. The Obscurus seemed to agree, plastering the dome with debris in its fury. Now they crouched in utter blackness. Severus hugged Eileen tighter. He was not equipped to help her. He knew he wasn't.
Albus suddenly clapped a hand down, almost poking Severus in the eye in the darkness. "Eileen," he said urgently, "Your son is here, and let me tell you, he is a son to be proud of. He has walked through every disadvantage with his head held high to become one of the bravest, most intelligent, and most thoughtful people I know. He's not very good at telling you that, and he's not very good at telling you that he cares, but he does. He cares about you so much. Come back to us, Eileen. You should see him!"
The Obscurus blasted the dome again, knocking all the detritus away and bringing back the light. The blow also threw Albus off-balance. "Severus, try again," he said calmly.
"Mum..." Eileen jerked in his arms. She gasped and started crying, wrapping her own shaking arms around him. Albus lowered his shield, and Severus felt a hot wind rush past him, the parasite back into its host.
Albus tactfully stayed silent. He turned and fogged up the window where the healers were waiting, giving the Snapes some modicum of privacy. Severus just kept rocking his mother. He didn't know what else to do.
When Eileen's sobs turned to deep breathing and hiccoughs, Severus looked back up at Albus. The headmaster's expression was unreadable when he said, "You're going to need practice."
Author's note: I find it amusing to write Severus' artistic criticisms of child doodling. Rest assured it will continue at every opportunity. I find it sad but true to character to make him so bad at expressing himself emotionally to most people. Will continue to update Fridays and Sundays. Thank you for the kind reviews!