It was not snowing in Scotland when Severus left the castle, for a change. It was snowing in Surrey, though, big, fat flakes. The snow covered the pavement and crunched under his feet. It was warmer this far south, at least, nor was the snow particularly deep for one used to winters in the Scottish highlands. When Severus turned onto Privet Drive, it was to find the Dursley family out in their front yard. Vernon was shoveling the walk while Petunia and the boys built a snowman, which was nearly complete. Marge stood under an umbrella, juggling her dog's leash and a camera.
"Bus still running then, Joseph?" Marge called as soon as she spotted him. "We thought you might be late."
"The main roads are clear," he answered untruthfully.
"Uncle Sev!"
Both boys abandoned their snowman and ran to greet him. Unfortunately, this time when they slammed into his legs, he slipped on the icy walk and toppled backwards. Fortunately, it was a soft landing into a pile of snow Vernon or possibly some neighbor had previously shoveled. He even managed not to drop his boxes onto the heads of the two three-year-olds. Marge whooped in laughter.
"Boys! Come back here at once!" Petunia shouted, though she also sounded amused.
The children climbed off of him. "Sorry," Harry said, his giggling belying his apology.
"Just don't tackle me next time, lad." Severus said.
"Can help?" Harry asked, holding his arms out and waggling them at the parcels Severus was still holding. Dudley instantly mimicked him. Merlin, that was cute.
"Here." He handed Harry and Dudley their presents. "These are for you anyway."
Dudley gasped. "Can open it?"
"Not yet, but you can help me by taking it inside."
"Boys!" Petunia called again, starting to march towards them.
"Coming!" they chorused and scampered away towards her with their prizes.
By that point, Vernon had set down his shovel and made his way over. "Need a hand?" he grunted.
"Do you mind taking these for a moment?"
"Not at all. Happy Christmas." Vernon hefted the remaining presents and stepped back. Severus climbed to his feet and brushed the snow off himself. He groaned inwardly when he felt just how wet and sticky this snow was. He was going to be sitting around in damp clothes for hours now and couldn't even use a drying charm with Marge here. He retrieved his fallen hat, accepted the presents back from Vernon and followed the family into the house. Reminiscent of last year, after they had all stripped off coats and gloves and settled in the parlor, Petunia served shortbread and hot chocolate to warm up before a lunch of cold-cuts from yesterday's dinner. Severus avoided the couch the instant he saw Marge heading towards it and instead chose a chair.
Even with all the excitement of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in the past, Dudley proved just as impatient to open Severus' gift this year as he had a year ago. Severus was rather inclined to make him wait, but his parents and Marge decided to indulge him, so it was decided to open presents before eating. Marge continued taking pictures as they did. She was determined to fully document every present each of the boys received, only regretting her home video camera had broken when one of her dogs got ahold of it. This camera was a type Severus had not seen before, that ejected undeveloped photographs as soon as it took them. Marge continually passed them over to Vernon and Petunia to wave in the air, which she explained was part of the development process. She had apparently given an identical camera to Petunia yesterday, but they had not yet set that one up.
This year, Severus had picked out coloring books for Harry and Dudley. Harry's was Newt Scamander's My First Fantastic Beasts Coloring Book, which was conveniently limited to the benign and cute varieties. Petunia had pre-approved it. Except for the content, it was entirely ordinary since it was meant for such young children, once Severus confiscated the packet of Developer's Mix Watercolors that would have enabled the drawings to move a little once fully colored. He supplied new crayons from a muggle shop instead. Dudley's book was of characters from one of his favorite cartoons as Petunia had recommended.
Both boys seemed satisfied, eager to show the books to the Dursley adults. Dudley wanted to start coloring his immediately, but Petunia reminded him, "Not yet, sweetums. We have to see what else Uncle Sev brought, and give him his gifts. And then it's lunchtime. After lunch, you can color though. You can show Uncle Sev how well you can stay between the lines."
Fortunately, Dudley agreed with this plan without further argument and settled into Petunia's lap to watch the rest of the gift-giving. Not to be outdone, Harry climbed onto Severus' chair. Severus grinned and carefully reached around him for his other presents. He extended them to each of the Dursleys in turn.
Petunia smiled when she opened hers, another Protean-charmed journal. She raised it up to show the room. "I was thinking just the other day my old one was getting rather full. Thank you very much, Sev."
"You're welcome."
"I didn't know you journaled, Petunia," Marge commented. She snapped one last photo and fanned it in the air before setting the camera down and fiddling with the wrapping paper of her own present.
"I took it up last year."
"And thank you very much for the chocolates," Vernon said. "Marge, you'll have to try one of these. There's some candy shop near Joseph's work that makes some of the best chocolate I've ever had. Same stuff he sent for Dudder's birthday, you know."
Marge reached for the box Vernon offered, took one of the chocolates, and popped it in her mouth. Her eyes widened, and she smacked her lips. "That is good. You know, I thought a single bar of chocolate was a cop-out gift for our little man at the time, but if it was half as good quality as this, clearly I was wrong." She nodded approvingly to Severus. "Discerning taste you have, there." She turned back to her own gift and cackled when the last of the wrapping fell off. "I take it back! Utterly tasteless! Oh, this is too good, though."
"What is it, Marge?" Vernon asked, shooting Severus a glare.
She held up the Big Funeral game box with a broad grin. Severus had found it in a thrift shop in London by means of a modified Point Me spell, after leaving the hospital yesterday. Inconveniently, the shop was of course closed, but he just broke in with magic and left some muggle currency at the register. "Make your friends look cheap. Send them to slob hill in an orange crate coffin," she read from the back of the box. She looked up at Severus and elbowed her brother with glee. "We should play a round later." She chuckled again as she tucked the game between the cushions next to her. Petunia looked quite disapproving, and Vernon's expression was caught between amusement and offense, but Severus just shrugged at them while Marge was distracted. He had not expected her to like the game concept so much, or at all.
"Dudders, why don't you help me bring Uncle Sev's gifts over to him?" Petunia said quickly, nudging him gently towards the small stack that remained under the Christmas tree.
"I help too!" Harry exclaimed, and slid from Severus' lap instantly.
"Cor, I'm losing my marbles. Knew I forgot something. Mine's still in my luggage," Marge grumbled.
"I can fetch it," Petunia assured her.
"Thank you, dear. It's right on top, next to the dog treats."
Petunia returned while Severus was still looking at Harry's and Dudley's cards. They both featured stick figures rather than unidentifiable blobs for the drawings, and this year they had also discovered glitter. Harry had stuck to just red and green glitter, fortunately. The red was streaked haphazardly all across the front of the card, while the green was used to create enormous, lustrous eyes for Harry, Severus, and Petunia. There was no brown glitter for everyone else, alas, but Harry had instead glued what might be brown sugar or possibly breadcrumbs instead. The effect was surreal, but overall, Severus thought this rather more tasteful than his cousin's use of the medium, which appeared to consist of mixing five colors together and mashing it into a chunky conglomerate with an excessive amount of glue. That did result in an interesting texture, he supposed. Petunia had written the Happy Christmas messages again, but this time, each child had attempted to sign his own name, in large, clumsy, capital letters. Severus smugly decided Harry's attempt was slightly more legible, although he presumed that was most likely because the letter D was so relatively difficult to draw. Dudley's looked like he had signed "OUOLEX."
He set the cards aside and accepted a thin package, which the tag proclaimed to be from Petunia. As he did, he quickly looked at her eyes more closely. He knew they weren't Lily's and Harry's brilliant green and had thought they were hazel, sort of like his own... Yes, they were, in fact with even more brown than his. Harry was uncommonly sensitive to any greenness, perhaps, looking for himself in his aunt and "uncle" while otherwise surrounded by big-boned, blond-haired, plain-brown-eyed Dursleys. Or maybe he just hadn't come up with the bread crumb solution yet when devising Petunia's glitter eyes.
Severus chuckled softly when he got around to unwrapping the gift. It was another journal, but an ordinary one, obviously. He opened the cover to find a note reading,
Dear Severus,
Thank you for helping make our year easier, especially since I know this has been a difficult time for you. Although you are of course welcome to talk to me, I thought you might like a means to express yourself in secret. I won't even be offended if you end up tearing out each page of this journal and burning it as soon as you've written on it. Or writing in invisible ink like Lily used to. Whatever helps your strange, strange heart.
Welcome to the family, and Happy Christmas.
Best,
Petunia
He felt himself smiling despite the backhandedness of her message. It was very her. "Thank you, Petunia."
She grinned, almost wickedly. "Well, I've enjoyed journaling so much this last year, I thought I should spread the joy. It would do you good."
"I'm sure it would," he agreed.
The next gift was a sampling of smoked meats and cheeses from Vernon. "Can never go wrong with these," Vernon said lovingly. "Serve 'em up with some bread or just some digestive biscuits. Good stuff."
"Good for a night in," Marge agreed. "Go on, open the last one, Joseph."
Severus obediently unwrapped the last small but surprisingly heavy, cylindrical package, the one from Marge. It proved to be a tub of hair gel. Severus had never used muggle hair gel, but he was fairly confident it was for making hair more rather than less greasy, so he was somewhat confused. "It's the same brand John Travolta uses," Marge announced proudly. Indeed, the container proclaimed the same. Pity he had no idea who John Travolta was.
"I will be interested to try it," Severus said lightly. "Thank you, Marge." He probably would not use it as intended, but it might be amusing to see what would happen if he added small amounts of this substance into certain potions. The ingredients list had quite a few random chemical terms he had never encountered before.
"Right, loo then lunch," Marge said, climbing to her feet.
"I will just be a few minutes in the kitchen," Petunia said happily.
The two women had abandoned them before Severus even realized. Harry promptly took Severus' gifts from him and set them on the floor next to the chair, making room for himself to climb back onto Severus' lap. Dudley took the opportunity to beg a piece of chocolate from his father. "Just one, so we don't spoil your lunch," Vernon agreed. Vernon then looked up at Severus and smiled weakly. "Travolta's her favorite Hollywood actor."
Severus shrugged. "I haven't seen a film in over a decade." Not since before he started school at Hogwarts.
"So... you don't know who he is, then?"
"Not a clue."
Vernon's nose started turning pink, his usual danger sign, Severus recognized. He rummaged in the magazine rack next to the couch for a moment, then flipped through the glossy pages of the issue he was looking for and wordlessly extended it. Severus accepted it with a raised eyebrow and looked at the picture of a... tall, dark-haired, pale-eyed actor. Oh, Merlin. He realized in horror the man had vaguely similar hair style to his own, if wavier. Fortunately, his eyes were plain blue, his facial structure was very, very different, and this man certainly had many, many more well-developed muscles. Severus flipped the page. The picture of Travolta mugging for the camera in a film called Grease was even more disturbing, reminding him somewhat of Tobias as he had appeared in his parents' old wedding photo Eileen kept in her bedroom. He resolved never to wear short sleeves in Marge's presence, ever. Not that he ever wore short sleeves with the Dark Mark anyway, but he had even more of a reason now.
He offered the magazine back to Vernon. "Thank you for the information."
"I'll try to restrict her brandy and keep her on-track," Vernon offered quietly.
"Thank you for that as well... I'm probably still going to be stuck playing a round of Big Funeral later, though, won't I?"
Vernon's mustache twitched. "Well, that one's on you. I understand why you chose something so odd to give her, though. We can be thankful it wasn't the Game of Life."
"Why? I never played that one."
"Because the primary goal is to get married and have kids."
Severus blushed. "Ah."
"Rubbish game, too."
Severus decided a change in subject was definitely in order. He looked down at Harry, who was turning the pages of his coloring book. "How about you, then, Harry? Are you excited to start morning school next month?"
Harry looked up at him with eyes shining with enthusiasm. "Yeah! I got new rug-sack for Christmas, too!"
"Did you? What color?"
"Gween."
Severus smirked despite himself. "Good choice."
"An' I got blue," Dudley added quickly. "My has a train on it."
"That's good. Does yours have a train too, Harry?"
He shook his head. "No, buh has Bambi."
"What's Bambi?" Severus asked.
"Baby deer."
"A fawn?" he asked in surprise. That was a little on-the-nose, considering Lily's patronus had been a doe.
"It's a Disney character," Vernon supplied. "A movie about forest animals centered around a young deer. It's not new, but they played it again at the discount theater a few months ago, so we took the boys to see it." He smiled. "Happily, that's one Disney film with no singing."
"Got it. Maybe you can show your rucksack to me later, Harry."
Harry nodded happily. "An' I can show my colo-wing."
Severus nodded gravely. "Indeed. I'm looking forward to that."
"Piers and Wobin are at pwe-school too," Dudley informed him.
"Who are they?" Severus asked.
"Friends from park. We play wif them on sweens. Piers is a boy, and Wobin is a ghoul," Harry answered.
"You mean a girl?"
"Uh-huh. A ghoul." The resolute mispronunciation was adorable.
"Did you know I teach at a school?" Severus asked.
Harry's eyes widened. "You'll be at school?"
"No, I won't be at your school. But I do teach at a school, for older kids. Maybe when you get older, you'll go there, and I'll get to teach you."
"Yeah!" Harry enthused, bouncing up and down. He almost fell off, and Severus stabilized him.
"Me too!" Dudley cried.
"Maybe so," Severus agreed, subtly shaking his head as Vernon frowned to forestall a parental correction. Dudley was unlikely to develop any attachment to the idea of going to Hogwarts based on one off-hand comment at a Christmas he would barely remember in a few months.
"Wazzat one?" Harry asked suddenly, pointing at a page in his coloring book.
Severus read the caption for him. "Demiguise. Demguises are peaceful herbivores found in Far East Asia and resemble a cross between an ape and a sloth. One of the unique things about them is that they can make themselves invisible and have the ability to see the most likely events in the immediate future."
"Wow... Wazzat one?" He pointed to the next drawing. They were in alphabetical order, Severus noted. Dudley trotted over and stood on his tiptoes to look too.
"Diricawl. Also called a Dodo, they are thought by..." He probably should not teach Harry the word muggle yet. Vernon would be annoyed. "...many to be extinct, but in reality, the Diricawl has the ability to disappear and reappear elsewhere as a means of escaping danger."
"Cool." Harry fumbled to turn the page but was interrupted.
"Lunchtime!" Petunia trilled.
"Yay!" Dudley crowed and ran to the other room.
The rest of the day went smoothly. Marge drank only one, very large, glass of wine at lunch, saying it was too early in the day for more than that anyway. After the meal, Harry and Dudley showed off their new rucksacks, followed by a large stack of artwork. Ultimately, Severus agreed with Petunia; most of the drawings were virtually identical. He liked the large sheet with their first glitter experiments, though. There were various abstract spills of glue and glitter, but they had evidently ended up with both substances on their hands as well, leaving sparkling, smudgy handprints all over the pages. He imagined this would be the last work of that kind for awhile, as Petunia complained she kept finding patches of the same mixture of glitter and glue all over the house, even a week later, despite her best, most obsessive cleaning efforts.
Next, Petunia sat with the boys while they colored in their newest books, while Vernon, Marge and, reluctantly, Severus settled into a game of Big Funeral. Marge and Vernon had a distinct advantage at first, as the game was apparently not all that dissimilar to some more standard muggle card games, however Severus somehow managed to win at the end after taking the jackpot round with the most expensive mausoleum in the game.
Severus declined another round, with the excuse that with the snow continuing to fall, he would need to catch the earlier bus. The truth was that all this socializing was exhausting. Petunia thought surely he would have time for a snowball fight in the backyard with his nephews before sunset, which was around 4pm today. To that, Severus had to agree, since it was not yet three o'clock. He and Harry squared off against Vernon and Dudley, first making a little fortress (big enough to shield Harry but not Severus), then lobbing little clumps of snow at each other. Petunia called encouragement from the sidelines, Marge took more pictures, and Marge's dog Joey raced between the two camps, chasing flying snowballs. By the time Harry and Dudley got tired, Severus' hair and neck were wet with melting snow again, his face was red, his fingers were growing numb, and he was panting with unaccustomed exertion and laughter. Petunia persuaded him to hold still for one last photo, this time with just him and the boys. She tucked the developed print inside the journal she had given him, a final memento of the day.
Petunia and Vernon both clapped him on the shoulders before packing him off with his presents. When he looked back from the corner, he could still just see Harry and Dudley waving from the window on either side of the Christmas tree. He disapparated to Hogsmead as soon as he reached the shadows of the tall hedgerow near the bus stop. Altogether, he mused on the way back to the castle, this had been one of his best Christmases yet, despite spending actual Christmas Day in the hospital.
Upon his return to Hogwarts, Severus finally got around to opening the gifts he had received from the rest of the staff. At the top of the pile was Sybill's annual card: Beware the Ides of April. Happy Christmas, Sybill. Severus tossed that one in the bin immediately. Harry's and Dudley's were better.
This year, Albus' knitwear included horrible yellow socks and matching scarf. There was the standard assortment of biscuits, chocolate, tea, a few potions ingredients, and from Argus cauldron cleaner. Irma apparently had no updates to the Potions section of the library to wrap around her candy cane. Rubeus had contributed a tin of what appeared to be fossilized crumpets. He wondered what he had done to offend the usually affable Groundskeeper, who seemed to hate him as much as Sybill when it came to Christmas gifts. The stone confections went in the bin as well. He decided to keep the tin they came in.
Petrus contributed a small antique cauldron of real silver, something Severus had never been able to afford himself despite the significant advantages for temperamental brews. According to his note, which Severus could barely make out through the cramped and shaky handwriting,
Dear Severus,
A cauldron so small as this requires younger eyes and steadier hands to measure out those infernally tiny quantities of ingredients. This one also deserves an owner who can actually use and appreciate it, and I'm sorry to inform you my own son and grandson both earned D's in their potions O.W.L.s to my eternal shame.
-Petrus
It took a few minutes to stow away the gifts, returning his chambers to their usual order. And yet, despite using a drying charm and stoking his fire as soon as he returned, he was still cold. Someone knocked on his door while Severus was brewing himself a cup of Bathsheda's tea in hopes of finally warming up his hands again. "Come in."
"Severus, Happy Christmas!" Albus said with a huge smile as soon as he let himself in. "We missed you yesterday. Where were you?"
"St. Mungo's."
Albus nodded. "Of course. How was Eileen?"
"Calm. Happy to see me."
"That's wonderful. Hopefully, that continues beyond the holiday. And today...?" His blue eyes glittered knowingly.
"Little Whinging," Severus confirmed.
"And how was that visit?" Rather than answering, Severus pulled Petunia's journal back off the shelf and extracted the photo she had taken of him, Harry and Dudley. He wordlessly handed it over to Albus, who studied it for a long time. Finally, the headmaster looked at him, his smile far broader now than it had been when he first arrived. "I am happy for you, Severus. I don't think I've ever seen you so happy as you appear in this."
"Nonsense," Severus scoffed, even though he knew Albus was probably correct. He carefully tucked the photo back into the journal cover when Albus gave it back to him. Later, he would figure out a better way to preserve, protect, and conceal it. He hesitated, then asked in his most deliberately casual tone, "Do you want to see the cards the children made for me as well?"
Albus beamed at him.
Author's Note: "Ides" is a historical term for the middle of the Roman month, so the 15th of March, May, July, or October, but then the 13th of any other month.
I confess I don't know that many 1970s-80s era celebrities, particularly ones that Marge Dursley might conceivably have fancied. The list becomes even shorter when looking for ones that might have born a superficial resemblance to Severus Snape, so John Travolta it is. I imagine Marge would have been more a fan of his celebrity and photoshoot appearances than of his actual movies, but whatever. The comparison to Snape is mostly Marge embellishing in her mind, obviously, since they really don't look much alike except for coloring and height.
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