Ch 6: Oath to a Loud
Parody of the episode: Oath to an Ed
At Clyde's house, Clyde has just gotten out of the shower. He goes to his room and sees a note on the door. He reads it.
"Dear Clyde, before we left for work we left some new clothes in your room, love your dads."
Clyde went into his room. "Oh boy. I wonder how they look." He sees the clothes on his bed. Short sleeved shirt and pants but they're super stiff. Clyde picks them up.
"I'm supposed to wear these?" Clyde inspects his clothes and sees how flat they are. "Well, all my other clothes are being washed right now. I guess I have no choice."
Soon, Clyde comes out wearing his new clothes but looks uncomfortable.
"Oh. There must've been a sale." Clyde said when he saw Lincoln come over wearing similar stiff clothes.
"Clyde, these clothes are super tight." Lincoln complained. "Leni wouldn't approve of these."
"I know my dads expect me to wear these but I really want to ditch them."
"Same here, I can barely walk in these." Lincoln tried to walk but fell over. He got back up. "Come on Clyde, let's get rid of these."
They went to Lincoln's house. Lincoln and Clyde took off their clothes, leaving them in their underwear.
"Ok Clyde, let's throw these in the trash."
"Wait. I don't think I can do this. I'd feel guilty." Clyde said. "But then again, I can't stand wearing those things. Ok, let's do this."
Lincoln opened the trash can. He found Lana inside.
"Lana, what are you doing in there?" Lincoln asked.
"Looking for food. Duh." She replied, popping her head out. "So far all I found was this moldy sandwich. That's a good start." She noticed the new clothes Lincoln and Clyde had. "And why are you guys in your undies?"
"We're throwing these clothes away. They're too stiff."
"And we know our parents bought these for us but we really don't want to wear them." Clyde added.
"I know how that feels." Lana said. "Leni made me a dress the other day and I did the same thing so go ahead."
Lana got out and the boys threw their new clothes away.
"Goodbye, uncomfortable clothes." Lincoln said.
Later, Lincoln and Clyde were wearing their usual attire as they were walking down the neighborhood.
"Man, our old clothes are way better." Lincoln said.
"Agreed." Clyde said.
Then they saw something. Three boys were rescuing a cat from a tree. They were Liam, Rusty, and Zach and they were all wearing uniforms. Zach was on Rusty's shoulders while Zach had Liam on his shoulders. Liam rescued the cat with a net.
"And that's how you rescue a cat. Royal Ranger style." Liam stated.
Lincoln and Clyde came over.
"Hey guys." Lincoln greeted. "What's with the uniforms?"
"They're our Royal Ranger troop uniforms." Liam explained.
"Royal Rangers?" Clyde questioned.
"It's a Boy Scout troop." Rusty stated.
"Wow. Can we join your troop and get a uniform?" Lincoln asked.
Zach and Liam got down. Liam released the cat and it ran off.
"So you want to join us, huh?" Liam said. "Well, then saddle up boys. Earn a badge to get a uniform and become a Royal Ranger."
"One badge for a cool uniform? We're in." Lincoln said excitedly. "Tell us what to do, Liam."
Now all five boys were at the park. Lincoln and Clyde had on their neckerchiefs.
"Not bad." Lincoln said.
"Not too tight or loose either." Clyde added.
"You always start off with a neckerchief first." Rusty explained.
"Yep. We were little roaches until we got our badges." Zach said and showed the badges on his uniform. "See? Light bulb changing badge, garbage bag replacing badge, clothespin alignment badge and laundry sorting badge."
Liam came over. "Line up and present yourself so you'll earn a new badge. Ok little roaches, let's start off with the "set up a hammock badge"."
"We've got this." Lincoln said confidently.
The boys got to work on setting up a hammock. They had to tie it between two trees. Lincoln was on top of a tree setting Clyde down on the hammock with a rope.
"Now don't drop me Lincoln. Send me down gently." Clyde said.
"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing."
Clyde was now in the hammock. Suddenly, a bee landed on Lincoln which caused him to freak out and fall out of the tree. He landed onto Clyde and tore the hammock. A few minutes later, it was time for Liam to inspect the hammocks. He first inspected Zach's.
"Good job, Royal Ranger Zach. You get a badge."
"Yes!"
Next he inspected Rusty's hammock which also had a blanket roof.
"Well done, Rusty. Nice rooftop too."
"Hey Liam, check out our hammock." Lincoln said. Lincoln and Clyde were behind a fence board that had a drawing of a hammock on it with Clyde and Lincoln's bodies. Liam was not impressed.
"You little roaches ain't fooling me with that lame trick."
"What? We're in the hammock, aren't we?"
The fence board fell down, revealing the torn tent.
"Ok, time for the next badge."
The boys are lined up again. Liam takes out a pair of hedge clippers. "Next we're gonna be trimming hedges for the trimming of the hedge badge."
"Lincoln, have you ever done this before?" Clyde asked.
"No, but I've seen Mom and Mr. Grouse do it before." Lincoln stated. "It should be easy."
The boys got to work. Zach used a comb to brush the hedges and a clipper to cut them. "They're gonna be jealous."
Rusty was using a razor. Lincoln and Clyde were trimming a hedge together. Lincoln was speedy while Clyde took his time.
"Lincoln, could you please be more precise with your snips?"
"But we've gotta get this done in time."
Liam was now inspecting Zach's hedge. "Looks good enough." He gives Zach a badge. "Enjoy your new badge, Zach."
"Thanks."
He inspected Rusty's.
"Nice. A perfect 10/10."
Lincoln and Clyde had gotten stuck in the hedge which looked in bad condition. Liam saw this.
"Ok, how did this happen?" Liam asked.
"Clyde got his foot stuck in here" Lincoln explained. "And I was trying to help him out but I ended up getting stuck too."
Clyde spit out some leaves that got in his mouth.
"You guys are pushing your luck and mah patience." Liam said.
Soon, the boys were once again lined up. They were by a bus stop.
"Next badge: escorting the elderly across the street." Liam said. "This should be as easy as shearing sheep."
"I'm into easy." Lincoln said. "So who are we helping?"
"Mah grandmother was too busy taming a wild pig, so Christina volunteered to take her place."
Christina came over. "Hey guys."
Lincoln and Clyde started sweating.
"You're up Clyde." Lincoln said.
Clyde pushed Lincoln in front.
"Dang it."
"Remember Lincoln, you have to do this if you want to earn that badge." Zach reminded him.
"Ok, sure." Lincoln said nervously as he went next to Christina.
"You gonna hold my hand?" She asked.
"Oh. Right." Lincoln sweated and started to drag someone across the street. "Watch your step. There you go Christina."
It turned out that Lincoln had walked across the street with Clyde.
"Boy Lincoln, your hand is so sweaty. But you did a good job."
"Great job." Liam said. "But little roach Clyde is not mah grandma. No badge."
At Liam's house, Liam was ready to give Lincoln and Clyde the next task. They were in his kitchen.
"Next badge: the smoked vegan sausage. Cook this baby in the microwave properly and you'll be part of our troop."
Liam tossed Lincoln the packet.
"Here Clyde, you know how to do stuff like this." Lincoln gave Clyde the packet.
Clyde opened it and put the sausage in a plate before putting it in the microwave. He read the instructions and started the time. The microwave glowed a green color as the sausage was being heated.
"What's taking so long? Let's speed this up." Lincoln said and pressed a button on the microwave. "Now we're cooking."
The microwave glowed brighter.
"Is it ready?" Liam asked.
The microwave shook and sausage meat splattered all over the boys.
"Have you roaches lost your ding dang minds?" Liam said angrily. "You've wasted a delicious food product! This is not allowed in the Royal Rangers!" Liam sighs. "But seeing you covered in filth reminds me of mah pigs. Next badge."
"Um, I could use a shower first." Clyde said.
Now the three boys were in Liam's bathroom.
"Alright little roaches, this one is easy." Liam pointed to a toilet paper holder.
"Oh. This I can do." Lincoln said. "You just replace the empty toilet paper rolls with a new one. What a cinch."
Clyde grabbed new toilet paper. Lincoln lifted up the holder and took off the paper roll but the holder came off and started bouncing everywhere.
"Runaway paper holder!" Lincoln yelled.
The boys ducked.
"I've got it!" Lincoln leaped.
"Allow me Lincoln!" Clyde leapt too.
They both stood on the toilet trying to catch the holder but it fell in the toilet. Liam grew more frustrated.
"Roaches! You'll never get a badge!" Liam stormed out.
"Liam, wait!" Liam slammed the door in his face.
"Ow."
Liam went to his barn to get milk from one of his cows.
"Those boys are crazy like mah chickens except they lay no eggs." He poured milk into a bottle. "Some milk should calm my nerves."
He drank some milk. Lincoln and Clyde came in.
"Look Liam, I know we haven't done a good job with any of your tasks but as our friends, please give us another chance." Lincoln begged. He made a cute face.
Liam thought about this. "Alright. I'll give you another chance. Now let me finish mah milk."
"Yes!" Lincoln and Clyde cheered.
Back at the Loud House, Lincoln was ready for the next task. He was holding a pie.
"This is very easy, Lincoln." Liam said.
"I got it." Lincoln said. "I just have to be a good brother and I'll get a badge. Piece of cake...or piece of pie."
"Watch your manners too." Clyde said.
Lincoln went up to the house and knocked on the door. The door was answered by Lola.
"Hello little sister, I baked you this pie and-" Lola threw the pie in Lincoln's face.
"Nice makeover, Lincoln." Lola laughed. Lincoln grumbled and wiped the pie off of himself.
"Remember Lincoln, manners. It's our last chance." Clyde mentioned.
"So what's the matter? Can't you talk?" Lola continued mocking. "Are you a baby?"
Lincoln tried to remain calm. "Hi neighbor, I...baked you a...pie-"
"My name is Linky and I like to make a stinky in diaper!" Lola sucked her thumb, continuing to mock her brother.
"Hello sister, I just thought-"
"Goo goo goo!"
"Excuse me sister.."
"Aw, is the baby gonna cry?"
Lincoln's face started to turn red.
"Does baby need his Bun Bun?"
Finally, Lincoln snapped. "SHUT UP LOLA!"
Lola fell backwards.
"Lincoln! You blew it! You can't join our troop and you don't get a badge or uniform!" Liam scolded.
"How about another chance?"
Liam growled in frustration.
Soon, the Royal Rangers flag is seen flying from a pole made out of golf clubs as Zach sings a song. He lowers the flag. Meanwhile, Lincoln and Clyde are on the sidewalk.
"Here it goes!" Zach said and he began to drum as Liam approached. Liam takes away Clyde's neckerchief, then does the same to Lincoln. It becomes apparent that he is decommissioning them.
"You have besmirched the name of the Royal Rangers and are sentenced to the... Walk of Shame." Liam became jovial. "Ranger Rusty, bring me the lard!"
"Here you go, Liam." He gives Liam a barrel of the stuff.
"And here's your lard-bringing badge." Liam gives Rusty a new badge, then he throws the lard onto the sidewalk, coating it with pig fat.
"Gross." Clyde commented. Lincoln and Clyde slip in the grease, and fall down. Their momentum propels them down the sidewalk, and the Rangers salute as the boys sail past screaming.