A parody of the episode: 3 Squares and an Ed
At Clyde's house, Rusty looks ahead, bored. Clyde pops out behind him, a huge grin spread across his face and he's wearing a helmet.
"Try to contain yourself, Rusty! The adrenaline of irreverence can be quite overwhelming!" He speaks with a quieter voice. "We're so bad."
"What are you giving me here, laundry chutes?" Rusty indicates the three laundry chutes in front of him.
"Very good Rusty! But look closely. One is Dad's chute (Harold), one is my other dad's chute (Howard), and last but not least, my chute. Rusty, my chute has been secretly treated with a silicone lubricant making it the fastest slide to any basement, anywhere!"
"For real?"
"Now for safety reasons, I insist you use this pillow, Rusty. Better safe than sorry." While Clyde's back is turned, Rusty wiggles his way into Clyde's chute. He starts to slide.
"Yee-haw!" The chute slams shut, and Clyde turns around, clutching a pillow. "WOOHOOHOOHOO!"
As Rusty falls, his skin peels off like puzzle pieces.
"Rusty, get back up here and get your pillow!" Clyde ordered. The sound of Rusty landing is heard. He lands in the basement.
"Bottom floor! Dryer lint, paint cans, lonely socks and mildew!"
Clyde lands at the bottom of Howard's chute.
"And spiders!" Clyde said.
"You have spiders down here?" Rusty said, a little freaked out.
"Don't worry, we keep them in jars." Clyde walked over to a table with jars. "Basements make an excellent home for spiders, and Mildred is ready for her weekly examination. Aren't you, Mildred?"
Rusty looks around bored as Clyde talks to Mildred. "Did you just wink at me? Yes you did."
A creaking sound is heard and Clyde hears a recorded video from an opened closet. The video shows his pet cats, Nepurrtiti and Cleopawtra, using the litter box in the living room.
"Ok, I didn't need to see that." Rusty said.
Clyde rushes over. "Don't touch that Rusty!" He turns off the camera. "Well, I see you've stumbled upon the security camera."
"Hey, is that a volcano?" Rusty goes over to a closet and hauls out a fake volcano.
"Rusty, wait! That's a school project!"
"How's it work? Does something shoot out of here? Well, where do you plug it in?" Rusty steps on a button at the base. The volcano turns on and sucks Rusty's head into it. Rusty strains. "Clyde!"
His head gets sucked in. Clyde giggles at this.
"A comedian, huh?" Rusty rears back with the volcano stuck to his head, shouting angry sumo gibberish.
"Oh dear!" Clyde runs away. Rusty slams his head down, and the volcano impacts where Clyde was standing, smashing it. Rusty, with the volcano off his head, chases Clyde outside.
"Wait till I get my hands on you!"
Clyde runs all the way to Lincoln's house. "Lincoln, help!" He pulls to a stop in front of a barricade of pots and pans. Rusty leaped at Clyde. "Gotcha!"
He tackles Clyde, sending Clyde and himself over the wire and setting off the alarm. The Loud twins showed up in police uniform.
"Free mister!" Lola ordered, as she's holding up a rifle. "Put your hands up where I can see 'em!"
Rusty pushed the rifle away. "Get that stupid thing outta my face, Lola."
Lola brings the end of the gun down on Rusty's head. "Take a hike, Rusty!
Nobody sees our brother because he's been grounded."
Rusty chuckles. "This I gotta see. Coming, Clyde?"
Lola stops him. "Halt! No visitors!"
"Don't make me have to use this!" Lana said to a docile Clyde, putting a carved wooden rifle in Clyde's ribs and giggled. "Kidding. It's a hunk of wood, Clyde."
Clyde lowered the barrel with his finger. "It's all fun and games till someone gets a sliver, Lana."
"Guard!" Lola called her sister and Lana retreated to her post. "Atten-SHUN! Ready, and...March!" They march in front of the front door. "Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!"
"Oh well, Clyde. Lincoln will have to learn his lesson." Rusty said, seemingly giving up. "Let's go before I start to cry. I'll miss our ol buddy."
As he rounds the corner of the house, he grins. Lana and Lola are marching in front of their post. Then a big four leaf clover pops out of a bush. Lana notices this and stops marching. The clover is yanked back into the bush.
"Lola, did you see that?"
"What is it, Lana?"
"There's something in the bushes!"
"Really?" Lola pushed Lana forward. "I guess you better check it out, private. Move it!"
Zach jumps out of the bushes dressed like a leprechaun. "Howdy Howdy Howdy! If you catch me, I'll give you me pot of gold!"
"A leprechaun!" Lana said surprised. "I've always wanted to meet one!"
"Catch me and I'll give you me pot of gold!" Zach ran off and Lana chased after him.
"I gotcha, you little scamp!"
"Lana, wait! You get back here!" Lola called. Her sister doesn't come back. "Lana?" She decided to join Lana. "Hey, wait for me!"
Clyde and Rusty peel out from the other side of the house.
"What'd I tell ya?" Rusty said to Clyde. "Zach will do anything for free bubblegum."
"I'm not sure about this, Rusty. Lincoln's parents will surely tell our parents. Haven't you ever heard of consequential punishment? It's the parental ring."
"Fine. If that's how you feel, I'll let Lincoln know you were too busy to help him in his time of need. Don't worry about it." Rusty heads to the back of the house, smirking.
"The old guilt route, huh Rusty? Works every time." Clyde follows his friend.
In his room, Lincoln is staring at a picture of his comic books and action figures. He lowers the photograph, revealing that his comic books and action figures are missing.
"It's not fair." Lincoln said sadly as he's lying on his bed, not really doing anything. Then the door opens. Clyde and Rusty peek in.
"Hey Lincoln." Clyde greeted.
"Clyde! Rusty!" He pulls them into the room and hugs them tightly. "Boy, am I glad to see you guys!"
"Yeah, we heard you got grounded." Rusty said. Lincoln lets go of them.
"What did you do?" Clyde asked Lincoln.
Lincoln hesitated. "Well, uh, I...used my Mom's bra as a catapult."
Cut to a flashback of Lincoln doing so outside, and he is about to launch an army figure. His mom comes out and notices this.
"Lincoln!" His mom's yell caused him to flinch and send his army figure flying. "Is that my bra?!"
Rusty and Clyde were surprised.
"Lincoln, you naughty boy." Rusty exclaimed.
"My dads would've shaved my hair off if they caught me doing something like that." Clyde commented.
"I guess I should've known better." Lincoln said. "But I'd appreciate it if you guys didn't tell anyone else about this."
"Ok, we won't." Clyde said.
"We're busting you out, Lincoln." Rusty said.
"But I've been grounded, guys. I've been a bad boy."
"So be a good boy. Follow us."
"I can't do it! My sisters will find out and they'll tell Mom! And I'll be grounded even longer!"
Rusty thinks. "I know how to get Lincoln out of here so even he won't know that he's missing."
Zach and Lana are by a cardboard rainbow.
"It's the end of the rainbow, leprechaun." Lana said. "Hand over that pot of gold."
"Nope." Zach replied. "Up to the fake rainbow, that's all you get for one handful, pal." He pulls off his fake beard, giggles, and leaves.
Lana was disappointed. "My fantasy! Crushed by an imp."
Lola catches up to Lana and grabs her. "Back to your post!"
A rope is tied to Lincoln's bed. The rest of the rope is dangling outside Lincoln's window.
"Good idea, Rusty." Lincoln commented.
"Thanks. Hurry it up, Clyde!"
"All right, Rusty." Clyde put a vacuum cleaner on Lincoln's bed, which was wearing one of Lincoln's pants. He slips one of Lincoln's shirts over the body and adds Lynn's volleyball and a mop rag on top. "There we go! A rather suitable substitute for Lincoln's head, don't you think? Yet, it feels unfinished. Wanting."
"Hey McBride, we haven't got all day!" Rusty said.
"Clyde, cover the body with a blanket." Lincoln advised.
"Good thinking."
"Alright Lincoln, climb out the window!" Rusty ordered. Lincoln begins climbing out.
"That's it!" Clyde positions a book in front of the Lincoln statue. "Hmm…"
"Will you hurry up?" Rusty grabbed Clyde. Lincoln, Clyde, and Rusty climbed down to the side of the house.
"Ah, fresh air." Lincoln sniffed the air.
"It feels good to be back on the outside, doesn't it Lincoln?" Rusty said.
"Wait, what if the twins catch me?" Lincoln runs to the front door. Rusty goes after him.
"Lincoln, come on!"
Clyde sees the twins heading back to the house. "Guys, the twins are coming!"
They enter the house.
"Has this door been open the whole time?" Clyde wondered. Lincoln just shrugged.
"I'll go check on Lincoln." Lola's voice was heard.
"Quick! Upstairs!" Lincoln ordered. The three boys ran upstairs into Lincoln's room as Lola came in.
"Hmm...I heard something." Lola went upstairs and looked in Lincoln's room, peering in at the Lincoln statue. "You keep it down in there, Lincoln."
She leaves. Lincoln and his friends are seen under the bed and they come out.
"Those two squirts in blue haven't a clue." Rusty said.
"But now we're trapped with Lincoln, Rusty!" Clyde said.
"Just follow my lead!" Rusty said, agitated. He leaves the room first, as the others follow. "Ok boys, all we have to do is go down the-" Rusty turns around to notice a metal wall blocking the way downstairs. "Why is there a wall on top of the stairs!?"
"My parents must've installed it there because I'm grounded." Lincoln mentioned.
"That's disturbing." Clyde commented.
"We'll have to find another way out." Rusty said.
"But I'm grounded, Rusty!"
"Yeah, Yeah. We heard it a million times. I think I've got an idea."
Then Lola opens the front door as the twins enter the house.
"Don't worry Lana, you'll be okay. Slivers aren't fun, are they? You really have to be careful with wooden rifles." Lana is seen with a sliver on her thumb. "Let's go find some tweezers and poke and prod and wiggle it around until it falls off."
Then Lola hears a noise. "What was that?"
"What?" Lana listens. "You work too hard, Lola. You should take a coffee break."
"We're never even drank coffee. C'mon, let's go find those tweezers." They walk off.
Upstairs, Rusty had tried to break the wall down by kicking it.
"Ok, kicking the wall down wasn't a good idea." He said.
"Rusty, we almost got caught!" Clyde said. "I say we wait in Lori and Leni's room until we can find a way out. Plus, it smells like perfume in there."
The three boys go to the eldest sisters room.
"We might get caught, guys." Lincoln said worried.
After a moment of thought, Rusty found a way to escape. "Quick, the window!" He runs into Lori and Leni's closed window.
"I believe a solution to all this can be solved with a little brainpower, Rusty." Clyde assured.
Rusty's voice was muffled. "I'm game."
The twins head over to Lincoln's room as Lana has a meal for their brother. Lola bangs on the door. "Hey Lincoln, it's time for dinner!"
"A peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich? How can he eat this?" Lana said.
Lola opened the door. "I said it's time for dinner, Lincoln! So stop reading your little book." Then she realized what's wrong. "Book?"
Lola storms into the room and goes after Lincoln. "Where'd you get that book, Lincoln?"
Lola tussles with the Lincoln dummy and the volleyball falls off.
Lana looked frightened. "Did Lincoln's head just fall off?!"
Lola looks at the volleyball angrily. "LINCOLN!"
Lola's voice could be heard from outside. In Lori and Leni's room, the boys hear the loud call as Clyde is making something.
"Lola knows, guys!" Lincoln panicked.
"Duh Lincoln, we heard her." Rusty said. "Keep your pants on." Lincoln's pants are down around his ankles. "No seriously, keep your pants on, Lincoln."
Lana runs into the front yard, whistle blasting. Lola runs across the hall, also tweeting on her whistle. Rusty opens the window and tethers out a giant kite. "Houston, we have liftoff."
Lincoln was still worried. "Let me remind you that I am-"
"Free as a bird, Lincoln!" Rusty grabbed Lincoln, and the kite tows the boys out the window. Lola bursts through the door just as the boys escaped the house.
"Not good, not good!" Clyde panicked.
"Go baby, go!" Rusty was holding onto the kite as Clyde and Lincoln hung onto Rusty. Unfortunately, the kite ran out of string and the boys were left hanging in midair.
"Oh, come on." Clyde said, annoyed. The boys fall down screaming, and land right on Lana. Lana is crushed into a hole. A dazed Lincoln comes out of the hole, along with a dazed Rusty and Clyde, and Lana who has dirt in her mouth. Lola rushed over.
"Lana, are you okay?"
"Well, I got dirt in my mouth but I don't mind."
Lola speaks to her brother, sweetly at first before angrily. "Guess what, big brother? I'M TELLING MOM!"
"Remember that parental ring, Rusty?" Clyde said.
Rusty gets up. "Oh great, now we're gonna get it."
In Clyde's room, Clyde gets a call on his walkie talkie. He puts down the book he's reading and goes over to it. He speaks into the walkie talkie.
"Clyde McBride here. Over."
Rusty is seen speaking into a walkie talkie in his room. "Hey, does this stupid thing work?"
"Roger. You need to say "over" when you're done speaking, Rusty. Over."
"This stinks! I got grounded forever. Over."
"Three days for me, Rusty. A little quality time with my cats and-"
"Three days? What makes you so special?! Over."
Then Lincoln is seen in his room, talking through his walkie talkie. "Hello? Clyde, can you hear me?"
"Lincoln?" Clyde said. "Over."
"Lincoln?" Rusty said. Suddenly, all three boys were zapped.
"Hello?" Rusty moaned.
"Ouch, over." Clyde groaned.
"What just happened?" Lincoln said, dazed.
The boys got zapped again.
"Must be a party line." Clyde gets zapped again.
"Oh, my aching-" Rusty gets zapped again.
"This isn't funny." Lincoln gets zapped again. Outside Lincoln's room, Lola is using a "Walkie Talkie Zapper", which was invented by Lisa. It's basically used to zap someone else who's using a real walkie talkie.
"This walkie talkie zapper is Lisa's funnest invention." Lola said. She pushed a button on the zapper remote and zapped the boys again.
"I want a turn." Lana pushes the button.
Zap!
They chuckle. Lola pressed the button.
Zap!
Lana pushed the button.
Zap!
Lola pushed the button.
Zap!