Knowing that Homelander's birthday was just a Vought PR exercise had always made Victoria feel uncomfortable. She knew that age was not important to him. He would always have his powers. He might end up like Stormfront and live to over a hundred. Evelyn might as well. Victoria had no idea, but she knew that she had to do everything she could right now to make sure her daughter was safe. She had gone downstairs early in the morning with Evelyn, prepared for the day of rehearsals. She had managed to get out of so much already, but missing her husband's birthday televised event was hardly going to be possible. She knew he expected a fuss to be made of him. Judging by the flowers that had been left in the living room, she knew that much.

She wondered if Ashley had just let herself into the apartment to leave them there. Victoria looked at the flowers, picking up the cards that sat in the leaves and reading the generic cursive. There were flowers from other supes, other celebrities and corporations Vought had worked with. There were also boxes of chocolate and champagne. It would have made Victoria feel sorry for him at one time. All of the presents were so impersonal. It was like no one knew him or what to get him. Victoria had spent hours deliberating over what to get the man who had everything when things had been good between them. He had always told her how her present, no matter what it was, would always be his favourite.

This year had been difficult. She hardly wanted to get him anything, but she knew he'd be expecting something. She was well aware that she still had to keep him on her side. She couldn't do anything to annoy him or upset him. She knew that if she did that then he would just take it out on the people closest to her. She couldn't chance it.

"Good morning."

Victoria turned to see him walking down the stairs towards her. She kept Evelyn in her arms, balancing her against her chest as she ran a hand up and down her back, trying to soothe her just as much as she was trying to soothe herself.

"Morning," Victoria said to him. "Happy Birthday."

"Well, thank you," Homelander said with a low chuckle and looked at the gifts that littered the coffee table. His brows rose on his forehead and then he spotted one gift that looked nothing like the others. He spotted the polka dot wrapping with the bow around it and a small gift tag poking out from it. His smile grew and he moved over to it, pointing down to it. It was clearly wrapped by someone at home, not a professional in a store. "I take it this is from you?"

"How did you guess?" Victoria asked, bouncing Evelyn slightly against her chest. She moved a hand to up the back of her daughter's head as Homelander chuckled.

"Well, your wrapping skills need to be worked on a bit more," he declared.

"If I tell you that Evelyn helped, will you be slightly impressed?"

"I didn't know my daughter had such skills," he cooed, looking to Evelyn in her mother's arms. "Then again, she is our baby. I shouldn't be surprised."

He picked the gift up and weighed it in his hands. Tugging the paper from the gift, he looked down at a glass cube. Victoria's throat clenched. She would rather not be doing this, but she knew her options were limited. In each side of the cube there was a photo of Evelyn. In some of them, he was with her, but in others it was just her. She was lid on her playmat, in her pram going for walks and laughing as she saw her father on the television. Victoria knew it would make Homelander happy, even if it made her feel like she was feeding him a lie.

"It's beautiful," Homelander whispered, moving the cube in his hands and looking at the images. "You always get me the most thoughtful gifts."

Victoria shrugged. She didn't want to make it sound like a big deal. "Well, it's nothing really," she promised him. "Not compared to what you've got…some of those gifts must have cost a fortune."

"And mean absolutely nothing to me," Homelander said, keeping hold of his gift and moving towards Victoria. He bent down and kissed Evelyn on the top of her head. She looked to him with her wide blue eyes, her face scrunching up into what seemed to resemble a smile. He moved a finger down her cheek. "But you mean absolutely everything to me."

He kissed her on the forehead again and picked his head up. He looked to Victoria then, eyes wide and sincere. "You both do," he whispered and he moved a hand to her cheek, tucking her wavy black hair behind her ear as he kissed her on the forehead. "Thank you," he said to her.

"You're welcome," she responded with, the feel of his lips against her forehead enough to make her pulse race with apprehension. "I should get this one down to the nursery. Don't we need to be at rehearsals soon?"

"Another hour," Homelander said. "And I have to leave at lunch to do my annual birthday save."

"Again?"

"It's an annual event, sweetheart," he said to her.

"It's not exactly something that I think you need to do," Victoria muttered.

"You don't need to come, Vic," Homelander said to her, trying not to get annoyed by her attitude towards it. She looked towards Homelander as he looked at the photos she had given him. He continued staring down at the images, talking in a soft voice. "I mean, you can just stay at the venue while I go off and do what I have to do. We'll have to get ready there anyway…and I think Ashley said that your gown is being delivered there."

"Gown? I haven't been measured for a gown."

"Pretty sure Vought has your measurements to hand judging by how many dresses you've had to wear."

"Do I get to look at this gown?" Victoria wondered and Homelander chuckled at her.

"You know that they're not going to buy you something horrendous, Vic. I think they had it made so that it matched me…you know…red, white and blue."

Victoria resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Instead, she just nodded her head once and forced a smile onto her face. It was one day. It was just going to be one unbearable day and she would get through it. She had a speech to give. She'd tried to get out of that, but Ashley had been insistent and Homelander hadn't even bothered to argue in Victoria's favour. She imagined that a part of him was loving this. He was loving the attention being placed on him.

"Okay, great," she said. "Let me get this one down to the nursery and we can go."

"You be a good girl, sweetie," Homelander said to his daughter and kissed her once more on the top of her head. "We'll be back before you know it…me and your mummy."

…

Victoria looked out from the stage. The audience was going to be larger than Victoria had initially suspected. There were large, fake golden statues of Homelander on either side of the stage. A platform was behind him, the American flag draped down on either side of the stage. The Vought symbol lit up the screen at the back of the room. There was a teleprompter at the front of the room too. Victoria walked in with Homelander, greeting the crew as she went with soft smiles and waves over to them. Some of them had been in touch the weeks before, seeming to think that she needed preparing for what was coming up.

And then she saw him stood on stage, on the circular-platform. He had a bottle of water in his hands and a woman was stood in front of him, talking to him and motioning wildly with her arms. He copied her slowly after a long gulp of his drink, tossing the bottle to the side. She nodded, beaming at him and assuring him that he was doing it right. Victoria watched him intently for a few moments as Homelander spoke with Roger about some amendments to the schedule. Victoria hoped that Homelander hadn't noticed where her gaze has instantly gone. She bit down on the inside of her cheek as she heard 'Licence to Drive' launch out over the speakers.

Alex started moving slowly, copying the movements from the woman in front of him who was clearly his choreographer. Victoria bit down on the bottom of her tongue as she tried to focus on what Homelander and Roger were discussing. Her gaze occasionally flickered over to Alex, seeing his move around the stage in his supe suit to his own song.

"What do you think?"

Victoria startled, eyes widening as she looked to her husband. Glancing up at him, she cocked her head. "Sorry? It's quite loud in here," she defended herself.

Homelander chuckled. Did she think he hadn't noticed her eyeballing Alex? He said nothing, realising that it didn't matter. She was his wife and nothing was going to change that. "About Starlight singing Happy Birthday to me?" Homelander asked and Victoria laughed at that, the noise coming out of her like a reflex. She placed a hand over her mouth when she realised that the smile on Homelander's face was forced and Roger excused himself. She shook her head slowly. "You're kidding, right?" she checked with him, but she knew from his face that he was doing anything but joking with her.

"What's so funny? My co-captain singing me Happy Birthday is just sweet, isn't it?"

Victoria watched him and folded her arms over her chest. "You know that it's anything but sweet," she responded.

"Questioning my motives?" Homelander queried from her. "What a surprise. Even on my birthday I can't get a day off."

Here was the manipulation she had expected. Victoria tried not to think about it for too long. She was never going to win these battles. "I just think that maybe it should be me who does it?" Victoria suggested. If she could spare Annie some humiliation then she would. "I am your wife, after all. Is it not my job?"

"You already have a big speech written," Homelander said to his wife, wishing that he could ask whoever was in charge of the music to turn that ridiculous record off. But he was trying to keep his calm. It was his day. He wanted it to be perfect. "And besides, Starlight should be expected to do something to celebrate her co-captain's birthday. I mean, the idea that she intends to launch her little charity venture on my birthday is ridiculous."

Victoria frowned. "The Starlight House?" she asked from him. "Annie's been working on that for months, John. It's the biggest platform she's got to launch it this year. You're not cutting it."

Homelander rolled his eyes at hearing her. "Of course, I'm cutting it," he said to his wife. "It's my day, not hers."

"But it's such a good initiative," Victoria said. "John, come on. I know that it's your day, but she could have one minute, couldn't she? I can sing Happy Birthday instead of her. I can do my speech. I can make it work."

"The answer is no, sweetheart," Homelander said, stepping closer to her and peering down at his wife. He lifted his hand up to her cheek, stroking it tenderly with his gloved fingers. He took his time to bend down so that he was closer to her, his voice dropping an octave lower. "You're going to do exactly as I ask you and that includes just sticking to the script. You'll be perfect, won't you?"

The music finished and the auditorium dropped into soft murmurs, people talking and busying themselves with work. Victoria looked off to the side, but Homelander guided her gaze back to his, hand on his cheek forcing her to look back to him. She saw him bare his teeth in a harsh smile.

"Do you understand?" he demanded from her and she nodded once. "Say it."

"Yes," she gasped out the word.

"Good girl," Homelander said and bent down to peck her on the cheek. "Now, why don't you go and try your gown on? I'm sure wardrobe need you back there. I'll deal with everything out here."

Victoria said nothing but took off, grateful to get away from him. She moved quickly, passing Alex as he sat on stage and spoke with the choreographer. She didn't look at him, knowing that it would be dangerous for both of them. She could sense his gaze flicker to her for a moment, but she ignored it. She moved backstage and found Marianna, the head of wardrobe for the supes. She ushered her into a dressing room and revealed the gown slowly, pulling the zip down. Victoria watched, expecting the worst. She had half expected it to be garish and over the top, but she was pleasantly surprised. It was a blue gown, the skirts puffed out and a red sash tie around the middle. The skirt glimmered slightly and there were white gloves to go on her arms.

Victoria took a moment to brush her hand over the material. The dress was off the shoulder, the neckline high enough to remain conservative for the audience. Victoria was poked and prodded as she tried it on. The seamstress made sure that it was the perfect fit, measuring Victoria and pinning the dress in place. She stood on the stool, letting them work on her, doing what she was told.

"Victoria? It's me," a sudden voice came from the corridor, accompanied by a knock on the door. Victoria knew it was Annie instantly.

"Can you let her in, Marianna?" Victoria asked.

"Do you need a minute?"

"Please," Victoria said and Marianna and her team stood up, opening the door as Annie came in, greeting them and promising that she would be done in a few seconds. Closing the door behind her, Annie folded her arms over her chest. She was wearing her costume already, hair perfectly hanging down her shoulders and curled, headband sitting in her golden locks.

"Wow," Annie said as soon as she saw Victoria in the gown. She picked up the skirts, careful not to mess with the pins that were holding pieces of material in place. "You look regal."

Victoria scoffed. "When Homelander told me that the dress was supposed to match his outfit, I freaked out…but it's actually really nice," she said to her and Annie took a seat on the non-descript brown, leather sofa. Victoria opted for the makeup chair, figuring it was easier to get in and out of compared to sinking into the couch. "The gloves are a relief considering there's no sleeves."

"You know your scars aren't that bad, right?"

"I know, but I prefer not to see them," Victoria retorted. "Anyway, what's going on?"

"What do you think?" Annie grumbled, folding one leg over the other, tossing her head back against the cushions. "Homelander is insisting that I sing Happy Birthday to him when I would rather do anything but. He wants me to rehearse it in ten minutes after Alex has finished his slot."

"I told him that I would sing it instead, but he wasn't budging," Victoria said with a deep sigh. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Annie said to her.

"I just…" Victoria trailed off. She knew there was only so much she could say. He was in the building. He could probably hear what she was saying if he really wanted to. She shook her head slowly, wanting to tell Annie that Homelander was getting much worse. She wanted to tell her that things were falling apart and she didn't know how long it would be until he did something unforgiveable.

"I know," Annie said to her with an understanding nod. She moved to stand up and stood in front of Victoria. She took hold of Victoria's hand, squeezing it tightly in her own fingers. "I know, okay, you don't need to say it."

"How much longer?" Victoria whispered. The context was clear. How much longer until Billy found something? How long did they have to wait until something came about from their searching?

"I don't know," Annie confessed. "But what I do know is that we need to have each other's backs, okay?"

"Always," Victoria promised her. "Come on, I'll come out with you and see if I can get him to change his mind again. I don't know if I can, but I know what he's doing. It's so obvious."

Leaving the dressing room together, Victoria kept the skirts hiked up, asking Marianna if she could just have another ten minutes to go with Annie and sort something out. The head of costume hadn't seemed particularly thrilled, but it was like she didn't dare say no. Victoria went back to the stage, trying not to trip in the navy heels she was wearing. Coming to the stage, Victoria saw that Homelander was talking to Alex. She instantly feared the worst and then noticed there was a woman with him. She was tall and slender, wearing a simple, fitted black dress. She was holding onto Alex's arm and smiling up to him. Victoria frowned, wondering what was going on.

"Ah, darling," Homelander spoke as soon as he saw Victoria move towards them. He drank in the gown and instantly felt his chest tighten at the sight of her in it. She looked lovely and he noted the way the off the shoulder style revealed her skin, almost tantalising him. "You look stunning."

"Thanks," Victoria said to Homelander and he moved his arm over her shoulders, grip tight and fingers digging slightly into her skin. He looked back to Alex then as Annie stood the other side of Victoria.

"Supersonic here was just introducing me to his date for the night. We met briefly at the Met Gala one year, but this is Josephine Jacobs…you know…the model for all the high-end fashion brands."

Victoria looked to the woman, her gaze moving straight over Alex. She smiled to her and she knew that Homelander was enjoying this. "Nice to meet you," Victoria said. The woman was perfectly proportioned. Victoria could tell that she had a body that was taut while, no matter how much she swam, Victoria still couldn't shift all of her baby weight. Not that she had to. She'd had a baby. She wasn't expected to look like she did, but being on magazine covers and criticised for how she looked did have an impact. She swore the press were ruthless.

Josephine, on the other hand, was tall and slim, her skin tanned and her hair neatly coiffed and makeup perfect applied. She had big, hazel eyes and long eyelashes with plump lips. Looking between her and Alex, she guessed that they would make a good couple. What had Victoria really expected? That he'd not find anyone? She had asked him to move on. She had told him there was no chance of them being together. Still, she thought he had taken her advice quickly. She knew it was hypocritical. She knew she was being irrational. He wasn't hers. He could never be hers.

"Lovely to meet you too," Josephine responded. "It's nice to meet you in person. I so admire the work you've done for the UN. I think it's amazing."

Victoria felt herself warm slightly. "That's really nice of you," she said, the words genuine and heartfelt.

Homelander chuckled. "Must be pretty awkward for you, Supersonic…a new lover and your old lover in the same place."

Alex shook his head, trying to look nonplussed. "Annie and I are just friends," he said. "Besides, we're both happy now."

"Clearly," Homelander said, the smile remaining firm on his face. "Josephine is a lovely girl. You're lucky to have someone so stunning…although, I should clarify that no one is quite as stunning as my wife here. She just lights up every room she's in."

"I don't know about that," Victoria said and Homelander shook his head.

"Don't doubt it, my love," he said and he bent down to kiss her, giving her no choice to turn away or push him back. She closed her eyes and wondered how he could be getting a kick out of this. But this was Homelander. He pulled back, thumb tracing along her chin as he smiled to her.

"We should start rehearsals," Annie suddenly declared, needing to do something. The entire situation was so awkward.

"Yeah, we'll go and get lunch while you guys finish up here," Alex said and Homelander just remained stood where he was as Victoria longed for him to move his arm from her. He kept it tight around her shoulders and whispered to her once Alex and Josephine had left.

"I know he's jealous. I heard in his heartrate," he whispered to his wife. "Wanting what he can never have."

"Yeah, that might be so, but you don't need to do that…rub it in his face."

"Kissing my own wife is rubbing it in his face?" Homelander asked as Annie continued talking to Roger, saying that they were ready to run the lines. "I'd say that perhaps you're being soft."

"I just don't like being paraded around like that."

"You're my wife. You're the most popular woman in America…you're going to be paraded around, sweetheart."

"Homelander, we're ready," Annie said, voice firm and Victoria stepped off to the side, arms folding over her chest as Homelander ran his hand down her back and walked off. Victoria stood still next to Roger at the side of the stage. She watched as Homelander loitered behind Annie who was reading the words that had been written for her. She announced how grateful she was to be sharing the stage with her 'friend' and 'mentor' and how she hoped he would have a great birthday.

And then it came for her to start singing Happy Birthday to him and Victoria saw her stumble over the words. "And…before we celebrate his birthday…I have a special surprise…"

Music struck up and Victoria whirled her head over her shoulder at the noise of people moving onto the stage. Victoria frowned. There were several women dressed in white leotards and not much else. She shook her head slowly, unable to comprehend what she was witnessing as the women started dancing to a version of Happy Birthday.

"Okay…alright…" Annie said and Victoria shook her head. "Thank you, ladies, thank you."

Annie's eye met Victoria's and she looked to her, mouthing 'what the fuck' as Victoria just shrugged back and Annie grabbed one of the set managers. "Hi, can I just speak to Roger for a moment, please?"

"Starlight, what's the problem?" Homelander questioned from her, moving behind her as the set manager just took off to go and get Roger. Victoria moved from the shadows of the curtains then, arms folded across her chest. She didn't know what she could do if Homelander was going to get annoyed, but she could at least try to do something.

"I have some concerns," Annie said, trying to be as diplomatic as possible.

"What concerns are they?" Homelander asked, acting innocent when he was anything but.

"It's demeaning," Annie said.

"What? It's demeaning to sing your friend Happy Birthday?" Homelander asked, a short gasp escaping him.

"Are you going to sing all sexy for me on my birthday?" Annie threw back at him.

"Starlight, what's with all this animosity?" Homelander wondered from her.

"Would you approve of me taking her place and singing Happy Birthday in a slow, sexy voice?" Victoria asked from her husband and he bit the inside of his cheek, jaw tensing and cheeks sucked in. Looking down to his wife, he saw her with her brows arched on her forehead. "I'd look like some kind of sex doll and would you want the world to see me like that?"

"The difference here is that you're my wife and I don't appreciate the thought of any other man ogling you," Homelander said to her.

"But you're happy for Annie to look like that on stage? Because it…what? Makes her look like she's not a co-captain?" Victoria demanded from her husband and Annie saw the way he had started to glare at his wife. His lips arched upwards and he lowered his face towards hers.

"You're making a scene, sweetheart." He warned her.

"You're the one doing that with this stupid idea," Victoria hissed back. "Just leave Annie alone."

"Just like she should have left us alone?"

"So this is revenge?" Annie asked from him.

Homelander rolled his eyes, feeling ganged up by the two women. He shook his head and shot a glare to Annie. "Why don't you just lighten the fuck up?" he demanded from her and then took hold of Victoria's hand. "And you need to go back to wardrobe," he snapped at his wife and started to drag her away, calling out loud as he walked her to the side of the stage. "Come on, you're going to sing the shit out of this song, Starlight. Let's hit it."

Before the music could strike up, an eerie voice spoke from the control room. Victoria recognised it as Edgar, his voice still sounding sickly sweet through the speakers into the auditorium.

"If Starlight doesn't want to sing then she doesn't sing," he declared.

Homelander let out a deep sigh, a hand going to his hip as his other hand gripped Victoria's harder. She tried not to wince as she moved her free hand to sit on top of his, hoping that she could at least indicate that he was holding onto her too hard with the subtle movement. He didn't get it, however.

"Stan," Homelander called out, "what a lovely surprise."

"Testing shows that 76 percent likely viewers will make every effort to watch tonight for Starlight," he said and Annie felt her lips quirk slightly. "64 percent want to watch for your wife and for you…well…53 percent might DVR. I think that means that she can call her own shots, don't you?"

"How about if I just walk, Stan? How would that rate? I take my wife and we go."

"After the PR hole you dug for yourself this last year, I'd say you're lucky we're putting on this farce at all. But hey, it's your party. You can cry if you want to."

Edgar's voice lingered in the room and Victoria knew that Homelander was angry. She moved her hand up his arm, stroking it slowly and hoping to appease him. She wasn't sure what he might do. She squeezed his arm and he looked down to her, jaw firm and eyes narrowed.

"We can go home for a bit?" she suggested to him. "Come on."

But he shook his head. "I'm not fucking going anywhere," he said, glare moving back to the box where Edgar was holed up. "This is my night."

"Well, let's just go for a minute," she said to him and he remained mute. He started to walk away, Victoria following behind him as he kept her hand inside of his. She looked to Annie and mouthed that she was fine as they walked back towards their shared dressing room. Marianna was waiting outside the room with two of her seamstresses, talking in hushed tones to each other.

"Get the fuck out of here," Homelander demanded from them, opening the door to the room and letting it slam against the wall behind, causing a dent to form in the wall.

"Marianna, we just need a minute," Victoria said to her and the woman looked apprehensive, but she left. She wasn't going to go up against Homelander. Victoria walked into the dressing room and closed the door behind her, noting the crack going up the wall. She gulped loudly and shook her head slowly.

"What the hell was that?" Victoria demanded, pointing behind her body. She tugged the gloves from her fingers and tossed them onto the dressing table, hand going to her hip. Homelander sank down onto the sofa, shrugging. "You can't treat people like that, John."

"It seems I can't fucking do anything right," he snapped at her. "And you stood on that stage and made me look like an idiot. Do you know that?"

"You made yourself look like an idiot by trying to set Annie up like that. You're having a massive televised party in your name, is that not enough?" Victoria asked. "Besides, if you'd gone ahead with what you wanted to do…made Annie look like that…you'd hardly have gone well with certain demographics. Me included."

"Well, I can't do anything to make you happy, can I?" he responded.

Victoria looked to the ceiling and let out a deep breath she'd been holding in. "We're not doing this again. We never get anywhere. We just end up yelling and arguing."

"Would it be different if I was some Mexican part of a second-rate boyband?" he asked.

Victoria felt her cheeks warm up and she scoffed. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Everyone out there is treating me like an idiot, I don't need my own wife to do the same fucking thing," he snarled at her. Victoria felt the flush from her cheeks run all the way down her neck. Shaking her head slowly, she didn't know how to play this. She had to be careful, of course, just as she always was when it came to him.

"You're my husband," she said to him with a firm voice.

"Then you should fucking treat me like I am because I know you clearly fancy that fucking-"

"-John, don't," Victoria pleaded with him and he watched her as she looked to him. He saw the worry in her face. He saw that she was concerned. She was almost scared of him and for the first time in a long time, he didn't care that she was. If this was what it took to keep her on side then he would use it. He would much prefer for her to love him, but this was the next best thing.

"You know that I could make him suffer, don't you? I saw how he was looking at you earlier. He has that stupid sonic clap, but that's nothing…not against me…it'd be what he deserves for thinking he could even glance in your direction."

"John, nothing is going on between us. Nothing will ever go on between us."

"You think I trust you?" Homelander asked from her.

"Listen to me," Victoria said and she sunk down to her knees in front of him on the sofa. She moved her hands to grip one of his, clinging tightly to it. "Alex is a nice guy and he's been nice to me, but that's it. There's nothing between us and there never will be. It's you who I am married to. It's you who is the father to our daughter. I know where I belong, okay? I only do what I do because…because we're a family…just don't hurt anyone…not because of me."

Homelander looked down to her and Victoria watched as he reached a hand up to her cheek, stroking it softly and sighing as he saw her eyes begin to water with tears. "You mean it?" he asked from her.

"I mean it," she promised him, stomach churning. She didn't mean it. They were empty words, but they were what he needed and she would give them to him if it kept him on her side.

Watching her, he knew she was lying. They had no real relationship and he knew it. He saw it now. He had hoped that time would be everything they needed to get them back to where they had been, for her to realise that he was still the man she had fallen in love with. But it wasn't going to change anything. She'd had time and was still in denial and he was sat there like a complete lemon, waiting for her to come around. But he was done. He was done with all of it. They could play a happy family for the cameras. They could have moments where he thought she might come round when she spoke to him without contempt or asked him for favours. But nothing about their relationship was real anymore, not so long as she had her memories.

But, if he could get rid of Butcher then some of his problems would be solved. If he could get rid of Annie then he might also be okay. Supersonic wasn't important yet, but if he became a threat then he would get rid of him. He could wipe Victoria's mind again, but this time there would be no one threatening to give her the memories back. She would be his completely. He knew that meant he'd have to scorch the earth and burn everything that stood in his way, but he was willing to do it. He was willing to do it to get back what they had considering that this way wasn't working.

"Prove it," he suddenly said.

Victoria frowned, her hands clinging onto his as he pushed a finger under her chin, tilting her gaze up to meet his.

"What?" she asked, her skin suddenly crawling.

"Well," Homelander drawled, "if there's no one else but me and if we're such a happy family then prove it. Words are empty, sweetheart, and recently I've started to feel as though yours are much emptier than before."

"John, I have no idea how you want me to prove it," she said to him and he shrugged.

"I can think of a few ways," he said to her.

Victoria frowned at his suggestive tone. "Absolutely not," she declared, voice firm and decisive.

He tsked. "So it's not just me you want, is it? All that talk about being a family and me being the only one for you…you were so happy for me to give you what you needed that time in Chicago, Victoria. You begged me for it and I obliged."

"You wanted to." Victoria pointed out. "Just because we're a family doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you."

"Because it's him, isn't it?" Homelander questioned from her. "I can see it in your face. I know that it's him you want instead…touching you…hearing you moan."

"It's no one."

"No?" Homelander asked, tone mocking. "Because I'm pretty sure it is. I'm pretty sure it will never be him who has you, but there are ways that I can make sure of it, as I've just discussed."

Victoria firmly shook her head at him, moving higher, no longer letting her thighs rest against her feet as she knelt down. She sprung up slightly so she was more of his height as he remained sat on the sofa. "John, you're being unreasonable. You aren't this man…I know you're not."

"I never thought I was either, but this is me. I am who I am and I am tired of apologising for it. I am tired of thinking that I am not enough when in fact I am more than enough. I am far too good and you…you treat me like I'm beneath you…like you'd rather have some fucking boy in your life. You need to know that it's not what I want, Victoria. I don't want to be this man. I want to be a loving husband to you. I want to be everything you need and desire…but it's never going to be fucking good enough for you, is it?"

"It is, John, please," Victoria pleaded with him, her hand moving to his cheek and she swore she'd never felt so hopeless. He was a lost cause. She was beginning to see that now. He had been pushed and he was now going over the edge.

"No, it fucking isn't because you can hardly stand to look at me. You know what?" he asked, pushing her further. He was going to get what he wanted. "If you want to leave me then fine. You can leave me. But Evelyn is staying with me. You can go. You despise me so much-"

Victoria hated herself for what she did to stop him from talking. She hated the way she moved towards him, hand going to his cheek and her mouth pressing to his. She despised the way he kissed her back as she gave him what she hoped was enough to make him stop his rampage. She thought of her daughter. She thought of how she could get her away from him, but she could only do that when the time was right. She thought of William and how he was searching for something to stop Homelander and she wondered just how long he was going to be. She swore that she'd never hated him more as he pushed her shoulders downwards, making his intention clear as she fell back to her knees. He saw the hate in her eyes as she avoided his gaze, but he failed to care. She'd forget everything again soon enough for the second time. He'd see to that.

…

Standing up straight, Victoria looked at herself in the full length mirror. Homelander had gone off to do his annual birthday save, Victoria glad to be alone even if it was just for a few hours. Marianna had come back in and sorted her gown out, not commenting on how some of the pins had fallen out and the material around her knees slightly ripped. Victoria had felt their silent judgment and had wanted to snap, telling them that what had happened wasn't something she was proud of or wanted to relive. She had closed her eyes once she was alone, unable to look at her reflection. She had done that so many times for Homelander, but now she just felt dirty. She felt like he had used her for his own gain, which he had. He might not have physically forced her to do what she'd done, but he hadn't left her much other choice.

He'd seemed satisfied enough afterwards, kissing her fondly on the top of her head and keeping her pressed tight against his front, hauling her up to sit her in his lap and tell her that he knew she was trying and how he appreciated it. She'd remained completely mute, saving her tears until he'd gone.

Once she was alone, she reached for her phone and looked for her brother's number. She scrolled down to it and was about to press dial when she realised that there was nothing he could do. If she told him that she needed him to hurry then it would just put pressure on him and she was certain he was working as fast as he could. Besides, if he came rushing down here, angry with Homelander, then the supe would just laser him in half based on the way he'd been behaving recently.

Wrapped up in a blue cotton robe considering her gown had been taken from her for final alterations, Victoria sat down on the dressing table chair, leaning back against the black fabric and folding one leg over the other, feet dangling from the floor due to the chair's height. She remained where she was as a knock sounded on her door. She wiped her eyes and sniffed, fluffing her hair up and trying to make herself more presentable.

"Come in," she said.

Looking in the mirror, she watched the door open to reveal Alex still in his supe suit. Her eyes widened and he walked in, closing the door softly behind him.

"Annie told me what happened earlier when I'd left," Alex said. "Are you alright?"

"Alex, you shouldn't even be here," she said to him.

"Homelander is currently miles away. It's all over the news," he promised her, holding his phone up and showing the livestream. "I'll be gone before he comes back, I promise…wait…have you been crying?"

"No," she lied.

He narrowed his eyes and moved closer to her then. She looked in the mirror, but Alex moved a hand to her cheek, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes were bloodshot and cheeks-tinged red.

"Yes, you have," Alex said. "What has he done?"

"It's fine, Alex," Victoria assured him. "We just had an argument and I got overwhelmed. I promise that I'm fine."

He continued watching her, but he was unconvinced. He shook his head. "You don't need to lie to me. I'm not going to do anything stupid."

"He knows that there's something between us. He doesn't know that we met and he doesn't know that you are working with Annie, but he suspects that there's something going on…I just…he's losing it. He's hardly holding onto any humanity he has. He wanted me to prove that I was loyal to him and I proved it. That's all that happened."

Alex's jaw tensed and he looked off to the side, shaking his head firmly. He didn't want to think about Homelander with his hands on Victoria. He saw her take the gum from her mouth and fold it into a tissue, throwing it onto the shelf in front of her underneath the mirror.

"Fuck sake," Alex muttered. "I knew he suspected something earlier. I thought bringing Josephine would help throw him off."

Victoria frowned. "You're not dating her?"

He chuckled at that and shook his head firmly. "Why would you think I'm really dating her? She's a nice girl and she owed me a favour."

"She seems sweet…and she's pretty," Victoria said and Alex tilted his head nonchalantly.

"I hadn't noticed," he assured her.

Victoria scoffed and sniffed again, wiping a hand underneath her nose. "You're not blind, Alex."

"No, but I'm not interested," Alex said and he set his phone down on the table. He said nothing as the screen continued to show the rolling news coverage of Homelander's annual save. Standing in front of Victoria, he rested his hands on the arms of her chair. "It's okay not to be okay, Victoria," he promised her in a soft voice. "No one would be okay in your situation."

"I have Evelyn to think about to get me through," she replied. "And Billy…Annie…you…I'm alright. I just need you to stay safe, okay?"

"Always worried about everyone but yourself," Alex said. "If I could, you know I'd take care of you."

"I'm a strong woman, Alex. Trust me, I learned how to take care of myself years ago," she promised him with a sad smile and she moved to rest a hand on top of his on the arm of the chair. "And I'm more determined now to get away from him, but you should go. I don't need anyone knowing that you're here."

"I'll see you later."

"Licence to Drive was sounding good," Victoria assured him and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head and looking to the ceiling. "Although how much of it was autotuned?"

"All of it was lip-synced. Vought don't like you singing live," he said to her. "But the choreography is all me."

Victoria hummed at that. "I did see a choreographer with you."

"Yeah, but you can't teach an old dog brand new tricks. I'm sticking with what I know. You should have seen me on the Sweet As I Am Tour," he said.

"Were your moves even better?"

"Maybe a bit more fluid," he replied. "You'd have loved it."

"I don't doubt it," she said and leaned forward slightly in the chair. "And as much as I'd love you to regale tales of your tour for me, you need to go," she said and she quickly pecked him on the lips, the kiss quick and tender before she pulled back and he let his tongue sweep over his bottom lip. Nodding his head, he knew she was right. He pecked her once more on the lips before pulling away. Turning round, he picked his phone back up and looked at the news.

"Shit," he suddenly exclaimed.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Look," he said.

He turned the volume up and stood next to her. Victoria slipped from her chair and peered down at the screen. The news had completely cutaway from Homelander's annual save to present a breaking news story. It was Stormfront. She'd killed herself. She had swallowed her own tongue. Victoria moved a hand to her mouth and gasped.

"I imagine this is the last thing Vought wanted today," Alex said.

"I mean, I doubt anyone is going to mourn a Nazi, but Homelander…he still spoke to her…he's going to be annoyed."

"Should you be here when he gets back?"

"Here is precisely where I need to be," Victoria said. "Stormfront dying means he's lost the last ally he had. He's got no one on his side now, not truly. And he'll know that."

…

Victoria had quickly changed into her jeans and a shirt. She had promised Roger that she would be back for the event, but she had to get back to the Tower. Homelander had been spotted back there and Evelyn was still there. Victoria didn't want him alone and near her. She knew that he would never hurt Evelyn. Despite his many faults he loved his daughter. What she was scared of was that she'd take her away. Climbing into the car, Victoria's leg nervously jumped up and down as they drove through New York traffic back to the Tower. Once she'd gotten there, she jumped out the car before it had even stopped moving.

She hit the button for the elevator numerous times, knowing that she was looking agitated but not caring. She hit number fifty, climbing up the floors towards the floor with the nursery. Coming to it, she rushed down the corridor and saw Natalie, the woman in charge of daycare in the Tower.

"Dr Anderton, we weren't expecting you back so soon," she said, tucking her bushy red hair behind her ears.

"Hey, Natalie, I just wanted to check on Evie. It's been a long day and I needed a break," she said to her and Natalie nodded.

"Well, she's doing just fine," Natalie promised and led Victoria into the nursery. There were toddlers playing in one of the rooms, the noise of whirling toys filling Victoria's ears alongside shrieks. Evelyn was laid in her usual cot and Victoria gripped onto the side of it, bowing her head and letting out a sigh of relief. She was there and she was fine. Natalie looked slightly concerned at Victoria's expression on her face.

"Homelander did come in earlier to check on her," Natalie said.

Victoria's head whipped around. "He's in the Tower?"

"He hardly said anything. He came in and left after seeing her. I think…well…"

"What is it?" Victoria questioned. She didn't need anyone to be delicate with her. She could handle whatever it was.

"I don't like to gossip."

"Trust me, what you tell me isn't going to change anything," Victoria assured her.

The woman nervously bit her bottom lip before cracking. "Apparently he's in Stormfront's room."

Victoria tried to keep her face neutral. She wasn't entirely surprised. She looked back to Evelyn as her daughter slept soundly and steeled herself, ready for whatever onslaught was going to come her way when she found him. Holding the side of the crib tightly, her knuckles turned deathly white before she composed herself.

"Thanks, Natalie," she spoke, turning to face her but not meeting her eye. "If Homelander comes back…and asks to take her…can you just let me know? So we don't get our schedules mixed up?"

"Will he be okay with that?" Natalie questioned.

"Of course," she responded. "It's just that he sometimes gets so busy he forgets to let me know when he's coming and going."

"Alright then," Natalie said but Victoria sensed some hesitation.

She didn't dwell on it, deciding to leave Natalie alone and go and find Homelander. She knew that people were staring and whispering as she went, taking the elevator down towards the medical bay. She headed towards Stormfront's room and didn't bother to knock on the door. Walking into the room, she saw him stood by the window, hands behind his back. Victoria closed the door and tried not to look at the blood stain on mattress.

"You know that it's not a good look, John," Victoria said to him, folding her arms over her stomach. "People have seen you come in here."

"I just wanted to make sure she was gone," Homelander said. "I mean, the fact that she did it on my birthday…then again…it's not exactly like it's my birthday, is it? We both know that I came out of a test tube. Immaculate conception…such a fucking joke. I kind of get how Jesus felt."

Victoria wanted to laugh at the sheer audacity of that comment, but she kept it down in her throat, realising that he wasn't going to be happy with her if he knew she was laughing at him. She walked further into the room, bypassing the bed. It was all that was left, the machines having been taken away. Homelander remained where he was, gaze set out of the window.

"It wasn't as if she lived much of a life in that bed," Victoria said.

He shook his head. "She was the last one who understood me…who believed in who I was. I mean, you never have. You've always told me that I need to be kept in check, answer to higher powers. I'm tired of it. She was the only one who didn't think that."

Victoria glanced across to him, taking in his strong jawline and his sharp cheekbones. His thin lips were narrowed into a pout. "John, you know that there is a system. You can't just go round doing what you want."

"I do what I have to in order to keep people safe, but none of you seem to get that. No one understands except her and now she's gone and you…you don't want me when I try to do the right thing so why should I keep trying?"

"Because you shouldn't do things for me. You should do them because you think that you should."

"And if I don't think that?" he questioned. "If I actually told you what I thought then it would make no difference because you'll never want me like you did."

Victoria let out a deep breath, not sure how much more she could handle of him. "I told you earlier that I'm not going anywhere," Victoria said to him. "I did what you wanted me to do, didn't I? How can I prove it anymore, John? What else can I do?"

"That's the issue, isn't it?" Homelander said and looked to her. "You can't do anything else and I can't do anything else and time isn't going to change that now…but I still love you. You're still my wife and you're not going anywhere."

"I told you that I wasn't," she said.

Homelander just nodded. He knew that. He said nothing else. He just went back to staring out of the window as Victoria remained still, looking at him and longing to know just what was going on in his mind.

…

He had gone to his birthday celebration, knowing that he couldn't miss it. The anger inside of him was still bubbling over, however. He stood backstage after hours of mind-numbing entertainment. He was wheeled out whenever someone made an announcement about him and he smiled and waved. Victoria had found him backstage after spending most of the night in her changing room and getting ready. He saw her in the blue gown with the white gloves tugged up to her elbows. The red sash around her waist made the blue pop. Her hair hung in a low bun at the nape of her neck, some soft curls dangling into her face to take away from the harshness of the bun.

She'd stood next to Homelander as she heard Alex get announced to the crowd. The notes of Licence to Drive started up and she listened intently, longing to walk around the curtain and see him perform. But she didn't. She remained where she was next to Homelander and Starlight until A-Train called for them to come out. Homelander automatically picked her hand up and she walked with him onto the stage, feeling blinded by all of the lights.

Homelander laughed and thanked A-Train, muttering something into his ear as he gave him a one-armed embrace. Victoria didn't hear, but judging from the look on A-Train's face, she guessed it hadn't been pleasant. Coming to the microphone, Annie took to speaking, her voice soft and gentle as she read from the autocue.

"Wow, I am so honoured to be with you guys tonight to celebrate my dear friend and mentor, Homelander. I'm here to do more than wish you a Happy Birthday thought. I am thrilled to be announcing a project that is near and dear to my heart," Annie said into the microphone. "The Starlight House is a non-profit foundation dedicated to helping homeless and at risk youth. I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has helped get this project off the ground, including my dear friend and Homelander's loving wife, Dr Victoria Anderton, who has helped work with us and other civil society organisations on all of the legal issues to get the House up and running."

Victoria didn't entirely feel comfortable as a round of applause struck up and she just smiled to Annie and gave a wave to the crowd, feeling Homelander gripping her hand tighter. She looked to him and saw that his smile faltered for a brief second before being plastered back on. He bent down and pecked her on the cheek, whispering into her ear for only her to hear. "Always the saint, aren't you, sweetheart?"

Victoria wanted to snipe back. She wanted to tug her hand from him and leave. But she couldn't. She just remained where she was, mouth firmly closed as Annie continued talking before glancing back to Victoria.

"And before we close the show with a special performance, Victoria has a few words for her husband on his birthday."

Taking a deep breath, Victoria stepped away from Homelander and embraced Annie, thanking her and then standing in front of the mic. She hated public speaking. She always had done. Giving an interview to a TV host was different than standing in front of a room full of people. She kept her hands clasped together in front of her, chin jutting out and head held high.

"I want to say a big thank you to Starlight for the work that she's doing in raising awareness to such an important issue," Victoria began and started clapping, the crowd following suit as Annie bowed her head and then waved, smiling remaining on her face. Victoria turned back to the audience, looking to the autocue once more before speaking. "We're here tonight to celebrate my husband, Homelander's birthday," Victoria began. "Since I met Homelander, he's been nothing but a kind and loving man to me. He's shown me things about myself that I never knew. He's made me feel more loved than anyone ever before has. I know that things have not always been easy and we don't pretend for one moment that they ever have been. But, what we do know, is that we are happy together. He makes me happier than anyone ever could and since we had our daughter, he's been an amazing father. I know that it's not always easy for him, balancing this life of being a family man and a-"

"-Homelander! Your Nazi died!"

Victoria trailed off and looked to Homelander. He was glancing into the crowd, the smile now having fallen from his face. Victoria stumbled over her words, heart pounding against her chest. She could hear the man who had shouted out being moved from the building, the security guards pulling him away. Victoria went back to talking, her voice shaking more than it had done before.

"And while he's had to be a supe and a father…he's done it with ease…never once making me or Evelyn feel like he's not there. I mean, he's...he's everything I've always wanted-"

"-No."

Victoria stopped talking again. But this time it wasn't someone from the crowd who had shouted out. It was Homelander himself. He shook his head furiously and Victoria wondered just what he was doing. She went towards him as he moved forwards. Hand going to his chest, she stopped him before he could get to the mic.

"Don't do this," Victoria begged of him.

"I'm tired of hiding," was all he said to her and brushed by her.

Victoria watched him stand in front of the mic, unease taking hold of her. She folded her arms over herself, a chill coming over her as he stood there, looking out over the crowd.

"Victoria lied to you just now," Homelander said. "She did. I'm not like the rest of you. I don't struggle. I don't make mistakes. I'm stronger, I'm smarter," he said and paused for a breath as Starlight moved closer to Victoria, reaching a hand to move onto her back. Homelander's hands moved wildly in front of his body. "I'm better," he declared. "I am better," he snapped, voice growing with anger and annoyance. "I'm not some weak, snivelling cry-baby who goes around apologising all the time and why the fuck would you want me to be?"

Pointing to the box at the back, he shouted. "Don't you dare stop rolling, Roger," he said, leading Victoria to speculate that Ashley was somewhere at the back trying to shut this down. "All my life, people have tried to control me…my whole life…tried to muzzle me…cancel me…make me impotent and obedient like I'm a fucking puppet and it worked because I allowed it to work," he said, hand going to his hip. Victoria just stood still, feeling useless and powerless. She just watched as he ruined everything for good. "And if they can control me then you can bet your ass that they can control you," he said, pointing out to the audience and then shaking his head, shoulders tilting back and he looked like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. "They already do. You don't realise it. But I'm done. I'm done apologising. I'm done being persecuted for my strength."

He moved across the stage then, voice rising once more. "You people should be thanking Christ that I am who and what I am because you need me. You need me to save you," he said, eyes wide and wild as the audience remained silent and he circled back around, glancing to his wife as she remained silent and pale. "You do," he said, looking pointedly at her before going back to the audience. "I am the only one who possibly can. You're not the real heroes. I'm the real hero."

Silence stretched on then and Victoria watched the back of him as he said it again. "I'm the real hero."

He looked out over the sea of faces. He could see horror and revulsion on some, but others just nodded slowly. Homelander turned on his heel and moved back to Victoria. Holding his hand out towards her, he watched her expectantly as she kept her own hands by her side. Looking to her, his gaze narrowed firmly.

"Take my fucking hand," he hissed to her.

And she did. She moved her hand into his and he led her from the stage. She kept her head bowed as they passed by Alex who had been stood to the side and watching the entire thing unravel. Homelander looked to him as though he was nothing.

"Stay the fuck away from my wife."

Victoria couldn't even look at Alex, feeling completely embarrassed over what had just happened. She just let Homelander drag her from the building wordlessly. He flew them back to the Tower, landing on the balcony of his penthouse. He placed Victoria down onto the ground and she felt her hair fall down her neck, the bun completely gone. Her skirts were caught around her legs. She tugged them from her skin as Homelander just stood wordlessly, hands holding onto the balcony's railing.

"What was that?" Victoria decided to ask from him.

"That was who I am. After all these years, I'm free. There's no one stopping me from being who I want to be. They can kick me off the Seven…Edgar can do what he wants…but I don't give a fuck. I did what I had to do."

"You…you might have just ruined your career," Victoria said to him in a whisper.

"Yeah," he said with a breathless laugh, "let's just add it to the list of things I've fucked up."

He walked into the apartment and Victoria saw him go upstairs towards the bedroom. She didn't bother to follow him. She just let him go and waited until she was certain he wasn't going to come home. Moving through the penthouse, she took the elevator down to the nursery and grabbed Evelyn without much conversation with Natalie. She bit down on her bottom lip and pushed Evelyn in her pram. She didn't want to go back to the penthouse. She had no desire to see if Homelander had stopped his skulking.

"Dr Anderton."

Victoria had been on her way out to the private gardens. She just needed some air and Evelyn was sleeping soundly still. But she only got to the elevator. Moving out of it, she saw Stan Edgar. He looked her in the eye and nodded his head.

"We need to talk," he said to her.

"What is there to talk about?" she questioned him.

"How you might be able to get away from your husband."

…

A/N: THINGS ARE GETTING INTENSE! We all know what happens moving on. Soldier Boy will be coming into it soon. More Butcher coming up too and will Alex make it on American Hero? Do let me know your thoughts and anything you'd like to see. Not sure if I'll get another update out before Christmas so thanks so much for everyone whose read this far. Please let me know what you think!