Author's Corner

Shout-out to victoriarogue and Greymoon . Huntress for their incredibly kind reviews on the previous chapter. I loved reading your thoughts and reactions to certain events hehe! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I'm a sucker for character-driven installments and I love the different dynamics that you see in this one, so I had a blast writing it lol. I'm aiming to post the next chapter at some point next week (triple digits eek!) so stay tuned and review if you can! Happy holidays!

EIGHTH BLOOD

Chapter 99: Acceptance

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"Then talk. I'm listening."

Relief ricocheted through his features. "I know you're angry with me," he started cautiously. "You blame me for what happened to your village – which is fair enough – but I want you to know there ain't a day that goes by where I don't regret what I did to you."

"You mean how you let your wolves chase me until I couldn't run anymore, before sinking their teeth into my flesh until my heart stopped?"

His distraught expression only fanned the flames in her chest. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. If I'd known you were there, I would have never . . ."

"What? Would you have left my village alone and kept going until you found a different one? Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"That's not what I meant—"

"I don't care what you meant! You might have everyone else fooled, but you can't fool me. The only reason you regret it is because I survived!" She exhaled deeply, composing herself before she carried on. "It's easy to pretend you're not a monster when all the people you've hurt are either out of sight or dead. But me? I'm a walking reminder of every bad thing you and your wolves have ever done. And you hate it. You want to forget, but you can't. Because of me."

His shoulders sagged in defeat. "You're right. I do want to forget. But who doesn't wish they could take back all the shitty things they've done and start over?"

"Did you ever count?"

"Count what?"

"How many children were in the village that day."

She heard his sharp intake of breath and fought to keep the satisfaction from showing on her face. "No," he answered. "How many were there?"

"It was around ninety, I think. Maybe even a hundred."

To her surprise, his eyes shone with silver. "And they all . . . They're all gone? None of 'em made it out like you did?"

"I was the only survivor, and that was just because Sesshoumaru-sama brought me back to life with the Tenseiga."

"Oh. I see." He sounded choked up.

"I don't remember much after they pinned me down," Rin continued. "But I do remember feeling the most scared I'd ever felt in my life. I kept calling out for help, but no one ever came. I spent my last moments crying and screaming in pain."

Koga turned away and clamped a hand over his mouth, as if trying to hold in a scream of his own.

It dawned on her that this was probably the first time he had considered how his prey might feel in the moments leading up to their deaths. Prey. Was that all she was to him? She suddenly felt incredibly foolish. Why should he see her as anything but? After all, when a fox raided a chicken coop, did it view itself as a murderer? Or was it simply motivated by the desire to feed?

The realisation winded her. All this time, she'd been treating the matter like it was personal, but for the wolves, it had merely been a means to an end. Either they starved or they didn't. When they'd been chasing her, it hadn't been a person running away from them—it had been food. A wave of nausea washed over her, making her stomach churn. By that logic, how many innocent lives had she and Master Jaken reaped by rigging traps designed to catch badgers and voles? How many children had they skinned and devoured simply to sate their own bottomless appetites?

Koga turned to face her again and swallowed thickly. "Rin, I—"

"You've made your point," she interjected, despising the sound of her own voice. "Please just go away."

"I can't do that," he rebuked calmly. "Not until I've made it up to you."

"There's nothing you can do!"

"What if there is?"

She paused. "I don't understand."

He pulled his sword free from its sheath and offered it to her with the hilt facing outwards. His meaning couldn't have been more obvious, but he still felt the need to say, "Go on. Take it."

She shook her head.

"It's all right," he said reassuringly. "This is the only way to make things right between us—"

"Are you insane! I'm not going to kill you, Koga! Put that thing away before someone sees!"

His hand trembled around the blade as he squeezed it hard. A thin trickle of blood seeped out of his palm, staining the steel a deep red. If he was in any pain, he didn't let it show.

He was younger than she'd remembered. In her mind, he had been a giant masquerading around as a man, flattening anything that stood in his way with his powerful tread. However, when she looked at him now, all she could see were the tell-tale signs of youth. Despite his imposing stature and top-heavy frame, he was still just a boy. A boy who, in spite of everything, had carved open his ribcage and was baring his heart to her. It made her hate him even more.

"It's okay," he whispered. "Sesshoumaru will just revive me afterwards. Unless you don't want him to. I'm fine with it either way. It's the least I can do. Now, take it!"

She backed away nervously.

"Rin, please—"

"No!" she screamed. "Get the hell away from me!"

A fur-clad leg swung upwards like a pendulum and kicked the sword out of Koga's grasp. He frowned as another wolf youkai stood between him and Rin, blocking his path. Rin's eyes raked up and down the demoness's body, taking in her athletic form and shiny auburn hair.

"That's enough," she told Koga firmly. "You're drunk. Why don't you try and get some rest?"

He glared at her. "Fuck off, Ayame. This is none o' your business."

"I'm not leaving you alone with her. You're bound to do something stupid if I do. Then Sesshoumaru really will have you skinned and turned into a throw."

A low growl escaped Koga's throat. The demoness known as Ayame responded by baring her teeth at him. Rin flinched as they snapped at each other, both snarling fiercely. She was afraid it would go on all night, until Koga uncurled his upper lip and skulked backwards submissively.

Ayame waited until he was completely out of sight before turning and flashing Rin an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that," she mumbled. "You're not going to believe me when I say this, but he was trying to do the right thing just now. Unfortunately, alcohol tends to cloud one's judgement."

"Were you watching us?" Rin breathed.

"Not on purpose. I heard shouting and came to see what was going on. You were really brave, by the way. There aren't many humans who would dare say no to a youkai, so kudos to you."

Rin wasn't quite sure what to make of this demoness.

"It's Rin, right?"

She nodded mutely.

"I thought so. I've always been kind of fascinated by you, to be honest."

"Why?"

The demoness smiled wider. "Why do you think? Sesshoumaru spent centuries proclaiming his disdain for humans, but then one day, completely out of the blue, we learn that he's taken a little girl under his wing. A human girl, to be precise. And no one knew why."

Rin blushed. For some reason, the thought of demons gossiping about her was incredibly embarrassing. "It's no use asking me. I have no idea why he did it, either." That wasn't entirely true. She had a few theories, but she wasn't about to share them with a stranger. "How do you know Koga?" she asked instead.

"I was married to him."

Rin's eyes widened.

Ayame laughed. "I know. You wouldn't think so, would you?"

"No, I mean . . . Wow. What happened?"

"It's a long story. Trust me, you don't want to hear it."

She did, but she had a feeling that Ayame was on the same page as her where strangers were concerned. Nonetheless, Rin was grateful for her intervention.

"Thank you," she said. "Thank you for driving him away."

"You're welcome. It's kind of my speciality." Rin turned to leave, only to be stopped by Ayame's voice. "I don't mean to be rude, and I'm sure as hell not defending him, but he's not the only youkai to have killed a human. His tribe stopped raiding villages years ago, but at least they had a reason to. Some kill simply because they can—your lord being one of them."

Rin's blood ran cold. "What did you say?"

Ayame sighed. "He might not have eaten them, but Sesshoumaru has executed hundreds of your kind just for being in his way. He didn't care if they had families. All he cared about was getting what he wanted, by whatever means necessary."

"That's not true."

"It is. You know it is. You can't condemn one whilst actively ignoring another's identical crimes. It's not fair."

Rin's eyes watered as she remembered Lord Sesshoumaru's words. When we first met, I was an entirely different man – one you would not recognise if you happened upon him today. The truth is, I am to someone else what Koga is to you.

"I'm going to bed," she announced in a shaky voice. "Thanks again for your help. Goodnight."

Ayame's face was unreadable as she returned the courtesy by bidding her farewell.

The inside of the castle was unusually empty. Rin chalked it up to the fact that everyone was either out drinking or lying unconscious in the gardens, having consumed one too many cups of sake. She was secretly glad for the lack of passersby. Her tears were falling freely now, spilling down her cheeks like miniature waterfalls. She was seconds away from reaching the door to her quarters when she accidentally bumped shoulders with someone and lost her footing. The person in question caught her just in time and waited until she was secure on her feet before releasing her. Rin blinked the fog out of her eyes and lifted her head to meet their gaze.

Her breath hitched when she saw the woman's face, and she stumbled backwards in fright.

"Have you been drinking, child?" Lord Sesshoumaru's mother asked with a disapproving scowl.

Rin's heart thrashed in her ribcage. "N-No, Gobodo-sama."

The silver-haired demoness raised her hand and caught one of Rin's tears on the tip of her finger. She stared at the teardrop as if it were something utterly obscene, then flicked it behind her effortlessly. Rin held her breath as she leaned in close and examined the contours of her face.

"You're the girl I used the Meido Stone on," she said finally. "You've grown since I last saw you."

"Well, yeah. I was only eight at the time."

"And how old are you now? Ten? Eleven?"

"I'm fourteen."

"Goodness me. Has it really been that long? It seems like it was only yesterday."

Rin sniffed, wishing that she would just dismiss her and be done with it. Unfortunately, Lord Sesshoumaru's mother seemed far too intrigued by her tears to let her go that easily.

"Why do you weep, child?"

"It's complicated."

"I doubt it. You humans are painfully simple creatures."

Despite her better judgement, Rin frowned and said, "I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not in the mood for insults tonight. Or any night, for that matter. Goodbye."

The demoness narrowed her eyes. "Why must everyone here be so unnecessarily hostile towards one another? It's exhausting." Rin ignored her and trudged towards the door to her room. However, what Lord Sesshoumaru's mother said next made her stop dead in her tracks. "Never give anyone the satisfaction of seeing your tears. It makes them feel important when they are in fact meaningless. Don't inflate their egos any further by buying into their nonsense."

"But what if it isn't nonsense?" she whispered. "What if they have a point?"

"All the more reason to keep your thoughts and feelings guarded. You can't have people thinking they hold any sway over your actions. They'll never leave you alone if they do."

Whilst Rin appreciated the sentiment, she disagreed with pretty much all of what Lord Sesshoumaru's mother was saying. She knew better than to tell her that, though.

"You make a good point," she muttered.

"Liar."

Rin's pulse quickened. "I'm not—"

"Yes, you are. You think it's rotten advice. It's written all over your face."

Was it? Tsunayoshi had believed countless lies she'd told him, so she couldn't be that bad of a liar. Perhaps Lord Sesshoumaru's mother was simply better at seeing through facades.

"You're right," she sighed. "I do think it's bad advice. Personally, I think it's important to admit when you're wrong about something. Even if it's painful."

"My way involves fewer tears."

"You say that like it's a good thing."

The demoness's brow creased in visible confusion. "In what world are tears anything but tedious and miserable? Sorrow is inconsequential. It has no purpose."

"I'd rather feel sad than feel nothing at all."

That shut her up. She couldn't seem to fathom why sadness was preferable to feeling numb and hopeless. Rin had walked that path before and hated every second of it. At least, she had in hindsight. At the time, she hadn't felt a thing, but that was grief for you.

"Goodnight, Gobodo-sama. It was nice to see you again."

She didn't reply. Instead, she resumed gliding across the floorboards wordlessly. Her oversized haori trailed behind her like a train, whilst her pigtails swished from side to side as she walked, reminding Rin of spinning blades. She wondered where the demoness was headed, before ultimately deciding that it was none of her business. The further away she was, the better.

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Octavia staggered up the final flight of stairs standing between her and her room. She was only slightly tipsy, but the long trek through the castle made her feel drunker than she actually was. Opening the door, she stumbled inside and considered falling into bed fully dressed, but knew she'd regret it come morning. She shed her overcoat and loosened her obi, but stopped when she noticed that the door leading onto the engawa was open.

A voice drifted in from outside, nearly giving her a heart attack. "Kindly refrain from undressing in someone else's room. I, for one, could do without being subjected to your disgusting mortal body."

Octavia poked her head around the shoji screen and found Megumi sitting on the engawa with a pipe poised between her fingers. She had let her hair down and was wearing a silk burgundy robe that shimmered faintly in the moonlight. The only piece of jewellery she had on was the beaded necklace with the black stone in it. Everything else had been removed. Even her lips were missing the brightly coloured rouge Octavia had gotten so used to seeing. She looked naked without it.

"This is my room," Octavia said. "What are you doing here?"

"Actually, it's mine," Megumi countered. "It makes sense considering that everything in it belongs to me, no?"

Octavia felt her cheeks heat up. She'd worn every item of clothing in this room several times already, including the robe Megumi was currently wearing. The knowledge that they were someone else's clothes was both disappointing and humiliating.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"Obviously. You wouldn't have barged in on me like that if you had."

She waited for Megumi to tell her to get lost, but the demoness merely gestured to the spot adjacent to where she was lounging and said, "Sit. Funnily enough, I've been wanting to speak with you for a while now, but my brat of a son is adamant about keeping you all to himself." She waited until Octavia was sitting comfortably before beginning her interrogation. "How long have you been sleeping with him?"

Octavia's stomach did a somersault. "I'm not—"

"Spare me the lies, human. I wasn't born yesterday."

"It's not a lie. We haven't . . ." She couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud. Especially not to his mother of all people.

Megumi's brows lifted in apparent fascination. "You're telling the truth. How exciting." She lifted the pipe to her lips and inhaled deeply, then blew out a long plume of smoke. "Are you still a maiden?"

Octavia laughed. She only stopped when Megumi glowered at her, unamused by the response. "Sorry," she mumbled. "No, I'm not. That ship sailed a long time ago."

"I suspected as much. At least you're honest about it."

"Does it matter?"

"I don't suppose it does. I was just curious as to why you haven't consummated your relationship yet. It's obviously not for lack of interest."

"What makes you say that?"

It was Megumi who laughed then. "Don't play dumb with me. I saw the way he looked at you. I know that look. His father used to look at me like that, aeons ago."

Octavia arched an eyebrow. "I thought it was an arranged marriage."

"Oh, it was. But it was not without passion." Megumi smiled smugly, however, her voice was anything but vain or condescending. "He was obsessed with me, you know, once upon a time . . . His relentless methods of courtship were extremely irritating, yet a part of me enjoyed them, to a certain degree. In the end, the only way to shut him up was to marry him, so I did. He was very pleased with himself, as I'm sure you can imagine."

Octavia frowned slightly. She sounded sincere enough, but that didn't match what Sesshoumaru had told her about their relationship at all.

He never wanted her. Or rather, not in the way that she wanted him.

"Don't hold back on my account," Megumi said. "If you have something to say, then say it."

Octavia took a deep breath before whispering, "I don't understand. If he loved you, why did he betray you?"

"He didn't betray me. Not really. He was very patient with me, but something was bound to give sooner or later, and it wasn't going to be me. I was stubborn during my youth. Too stubborn, some might say."

Octavia's eyes widened. "Sesshoumaru was right. You were in love with him."

Megumi grimaced. "Don't throw that word around so carelessly. Love had nothing to do with it."

"But you did return his affections?"

"In simple terms, yes. It isn't what you're thinking, though. Our kind doesn't experience emotions the same way yours does. Yours are trapped within the confines of your mind, but ours flow freely, existing in harmony with our physical impulses. We don't ignore our instincts, we embrace them. I'd try and explain it to you, but your mortal brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the vastness of it."

Octavia's shoulders slumped forwards dismally. "Why didn't you tell him?"

"For the same reasons you haven't, I wager."

Kanetsugu's comment trailblazed through her mind like a hurricane. You're not the first. There were others before you. Dozens, in fact. Nobles, warriors, and even some of the staff. None of them lasted long, though. He'll soon tire of you, assuming that he hasn't already.

"You were afraid he'd get sick of you," she realised. "You didn't want to risk having your heart broken, so you pretended not to have one."

Megumi took another drag on her pipe. "Men love the thrill that accompanies a chase. However, when said chase ends, the thrill often dies with it."

Octavia pulled her knees into her chest. "That's stupid."

"Immensely," agreed Megumi.

Octavia's eyes were instinctively drawn to the moon, which was shining brilliantly. "I understand why you didn't tell Touga, but why'd you keep it a secret from Sesshoumaru?"

The demoness took her time exhaling rings of smoke. "He was already furious with his father for what he'd done. Him knowing would have only made relations worse between them."

Her selflessness caught Octavia off guard. It seemed incredibly out of character for her, but then again, she hardly knew the woman. "You didn't want him to have to take sides," she murmured, stating the obvious. Not that it had stopped him from drawing his own conclusions.

It is not something I know how to forgive.

"You're a good mother," Octavia said earnestly. "He's lucky to have you."

The demoness shot her a scrutinous look.

"What? I'm serious."

"You are, aren't you? What a peculiar thing you are."

Octavia blinked in surprise when Megumi leaned forwards and offered her the kiseru pipe. She took it and inhaled smoke into her lungs before expelling it through her mouth. Her chest felt warm and tight as she repeated the process several times before returning the pipe.

"You look like you've done that before," Megumi observed in a disinterested tone.

"I was a pretty heavy smoker back in the day," Octavia explained. "I went cold turkey during the summer before I was due to start college, though. Do you guys use that expression here? I guess not. It basically means I stopped smoking altogether. I haven't touched a cigarette since."

"Why?"

The memory of Warren's car flipped over and smouldering on the side of the road made her eyes water. The stench of burning rubber had lingered in her nose for days afterwards. "My friend died," she said finally. "After the accident, I just couldn't stomach the smell, so I quit."

Leaning back against the wall, Megumi sighed through her nose. "So much loss for someone so young. The stench of death clings to you like a perfume. Sesshoumaru's ward, too. Perhaps that's why you were all drawn to each other in the first place. Broken people tend to stick together."

"We're not broken," Octavia rebuked gently. "A little bruised and mangled, maybe, but nothing that time can't heal."

"If you say so."

Megumi offered her the pipe again and she accepted it gladly. "What is this stuff, by the way?" she asked after a few more drags. "I don't recognise the smell."

"It's made with ground-up leaves and buds harvested from the kogoroshi plant. Did you know that said plant was named after its ability to prevent unwanted pregnancies?"

Octavia inhaled too quickly and choked on a torrent of bitter-tasting smoke. "Why are you smoking a contraceptive!" she wheezed, thumping her chest with her fist.

Megumi's eyes glittered. "It does wonders for the skin. As well as other things."

Once her lungs had stopped trying to forcibly eject themselves from her ribcage, she passed the pipe back to Megumi and clambered to her feet.

The demoness seemed amused by her reaction. "Leaving so soon?" she asked. "What a shame. I enjoy tormenting you."

"Clearly."

Megumi chuckled as she went to retrieve her discarded overcoat and slid her arms into it hastily.

"Thanks for the talk," she called out when she was finished. "It was . . . interesting."

"Indeed," the demoness replied without turning to look at her. "Now get out of my room before I change my mind about scalping you. I did notice that you've been helping yourself to my clothes. Not only is your scent all over them, but the folding is absolutely appalling."

Bugger, she thought.

"You have five seconds, rodent."

Octavia didn't dawdle. She threw the door open and dove through it, slamming it closed behind her. She could hear Megumi cackling through the layer of wood that separated them. The sound of muffled laughter made the hairs on Octavia's arms bristle with anticipation. She sprinted away before the demoness decided to chase after her.

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Author's Corner

Unsurprisingly, the kogoroshi plant is completely fictitious and cannot be found in the real world. I honestly didn't expect there to be so many made-up plants in this fic but I'm rolling with it. See you next time!