If you don't remember people, chapter 19 briefly reviews most people if you don't want to spend time rereading this insanity.

Kyoko wore the dress.

Turned out, Kyoko could be bribed with pretty things. If for no other reason then it was her best option and Maria wouldn't let her return to the boutique. Mostly the latter. But the magic of a pretty dress and makeup didn't last. The second they lined up to enter the venue, her anxiety spiked. The engagement party was expected to be a formal affair, which meant seating arrangements.

Please don't sit me next to Ren. Please, have mercy on me, Maria.

She kept the plea on repeat as she walked among the chairs, peering at nameplates. Her heart thudded harder with each one she passed. Finally, she found it, nestled on white linen on a four-seated square table. Two of the names were unimportant. She groaned at seeing the third.

Ren. Of course. Her worst fears had come to life. There was no way she could sit beside Ren during the whole event. She'd explode! Maybe she could swap it before someone noticed.

She grabbed his nameplate.

"That," said his voice, low, but friendly. "Is my seat."

Kyoko stiffened, her hand caught in the metaphorical cookie jar. How had she not even noticed his approach? Her sensors had been on high alert. Regardless, she didn't dare face him, unsure what her face would betray if she did.

"Oh." She fought to keep her voice steady, ultimately failing. "My mistake."

"Don't worry about it."

He sat, Kyoko doing the same while keeping her eyes lowered. Her tongue suddenly felt too large, words unable to form under her clumsy attempts. Hell, the back of her hands were red as she twisted them in her skirt.

Was he staring at her? He was definitely starting. He hadn't said anything since sitting and as the seconds ticked by, the butterflies in her stomach grew.

Say something.

She couldn't tell to whom she was pleading. This silence was even worse than his reprimand. At least with that, she could grovel properly for forgiveness and start the path of penitence. But this weirdly silent nothing was so much worse. Maybe she should just dive under the table like she'd been contemplating.

She couldn't stand it. She took a breath.

The two other contestants took their seats at the table.

Kyoko's head snapped up, pulled automatically into the polite "hello's," and "looking forward to the evenings." Her instincts took over as her mind fuzzed due to overstimulation. The other two eventually shifted their focus to each other and Kyoko was once again greeted by the stifling silence stretched between her and Ren.

Yay for her.

He cleared his throat and Kyoko stiffened, back straight, eyes forward. She felt stupid a second later but couldn't relax.

"Your dress," he said. "I like the choice. You look incredible tonight."

That was not what she was expecting—A reprimand for not meeting his eyes, a comment about her behavior in the boutique, or maybe a mention that this wasn't one of the dresses he had chosen for her? Anything but a compliment. He also sounded odd, but she couldn't put a finger on how.

Her curiosity managed to overshadow her anxiety as she finally looked at him.

He was the same nerd she had come to expect. He wore a t-shirt with some faded video game logo that was obscured by a too-big suit jacket. His hair had been tousled into a slight curl that at first looked unruly, but at second inspection looked adorable. His eyes were impossible to see behind those coke-bottle glasses, but she knew he was studying her. His thumb rubbed against the stem of his glass in a slow, soothing motion and she had a hard time not being mesmerized by its rhythmic motion.

"You…" he gathered himself for a second. "You're yourself."

Of course, she was herself. Who else would she be? One of her—

—Oh!

That was the reason for commenting on the dress. Because he recognized she wasn't here as any of the personas he had given her permission to use. She was here as Kyoko Mogami, the idiot trying to seduce the man who had been secretly in love with her for years.

She wasn't running away.

It would be wise to assume that around Ren, her blush was a constant companion now. It managed to find even deeper shades as she bit her lip. It was difficult to see through the glasses, but she thought she saw him trace the movement with his eyes. Or maybe she was just fooling herself.

"You know I'm going to make you return all those dresses," she muttered. "There are much less expensive ways to send a message."

"I honestly expected you to avoid me at all costs tonight."

He knew her too well. And a few days ago, she would have taken up his offer to hide behind a mask to face him tonight. But she was getting bolder. Gaining more confidence.

…she was allowed to lie to herself, okay? She shifted in the chair as her eyes fell to the table again.

"I couldn't trust anyone else." Her glee at being the object of his affections would bleed over into her other personas, more unruly and embarrassing than the mess she currently was. Not that she could explain this to him and judging by his confused expression, he didn't understand. She didn't have to come up with a lie as one of the aids signaled for everyone to pay attention.

For once she was glad of the distraction. Ryou entered the center stage, the cameras flitting around. They brought out a projector and started showing important scenes from the engaged couples' journies on Crimson Threads. It included clips of dates, some private interviews, and proposals for each couple. There were four couples leaving tonight, including Hime and Suzuki. She clapped along with the rest, noticing that some tears from the participants seemed to be more from jealousy than joy for the happy couples.

Ren was forced to turn in the chair to watch which gave Kyoko plenty of opportunity to observe him without being noticed. She still couldn't figure out what it was about her that was sending off internal alarms. Her eyes traced his shoulders, his profile, the way his hair curled behind his ears. She had a sudden desire to wrap her finger around it to check how many times it could wrap around her finger. Feelings did weird things to her.

I wonder how he felt when he saw me in the boutique?

Kyoko silently took that thought out back and put it in a forever box ten feet underground. No. She was not going to humor such thoughts. They were forever banned from her mind.

Once Ryou was done, the eight contestants entered the stage. Grouped in pairs of two, they sat at the seat of honor, the complete focus of the evening. Ryou asked a few questions. Everyone laughed. Then the food was brought out and everyone settled into their meals.

Kyoko dug into her food, glad she wasn't so nauseous that she couldn't eat. It looked really good.

"Hime-san and Suzuki-san look happy," said Ren as he started eating as well. It was an understatement. Hime practically glowed and Suzuki had a grin so dorky it looked like a sticker.

"I'm glad they worked things out," she said, thinking about how close Hime had been to missing out due to miscommunication. She was painfully aware of how much Hime and Suzuki's situation mirrored her own. Well, the ball was now in Kyoko's court. She just needed the guts to do something about it.

You can do it, Kyoko. They're just three words. You've said them to others before.

She put down her fork, taking a shaking breath.

"R-Ren-san,"

Something in her tone must have caught his attention. He paused, slowly lowering the food-laden fork from his mouth back to the plate. She forced herself to keep eye contact.

"I…"

What was she doing? They were surrounded by other contestants. Cameras were everywhere. But he deserved it, right? He had spent so much time chasing her and being patient. She needed to buck up and say something. Something to show that she knew and that she was already his.

She swallowed, a familiar heat creeping into her cheeks.

"That is… I need to tell you something."

She gathered her resolve.

"I—"

"—Has anyone ever told you that you look familiar?"

The blood drained from Kyoko's face. It had come from the other female contestant at their table. She had leaned on her elbows on the table, craning her neck as her eyes narrowed at Ren.

This was not good. It was clear what had happened. Somehow, this woman had seen through Ren's disguise. She didn't know it yet, or else rather than looking skeptical, she'd been hyperventilating. But she was seconds away from realizing.

Ren pushed the glasses back onto the bridge of his nose.

"No," he said. "I'm sorry."

Then he stood up and walked out of the room.

Kyoko blinked at his swift retreat. Wow, he moved quickly. So quickly that she got whiplash from all her emotions escaping like a popped balloon. The other two started a heated discussion about who he had reminded of, but Kyoko tuned them out. Should she follow him out? Say something? Her nerves screamed at her to stay put, but her feet were moving before she could make them stop.

He strode through the side double doors and Kyoko caught up to him just a few feet inside. He was running a hand over his face, glasses gone. He looked up at her surprise arrival.

She felt like she could finally look at him. Without the glasses, he looked as devilishly handsome as always. The tousled hair and eclectic clothes made him somehow more enticing. Like she had stumbled upon him in their shared living space, catching glimpses of domestic life where he had just woken up and hadn't yet gotten ready for the day. A scene for her eyes only.

And now she was staring. She needed to say something.

"That's a first," said Kyoko, trying to laugh. "I thought I was the only one that could see through your disguises."

She said it as a joke, but Ren didn't treat it as such. His expression flickered so quickly that had she not been trained in body language (for the sake of acting) and familiar with Ren, she wouldn't have noticed. Something raged behind his eyes, threatening to spill out into their conversation. He meant to hold in the heat of whatever it was, but she felt it nonetheless. It started in her chest, creeping to her extremities until her fingers and toes were tingling under his gaze.

"What?" she managed to say. "Did I say something weird?"

She forced herself to meet his eyes. To hold the source of that heat and refuse to flinch. He held for a few heart-pounding seconds as well.

Then his eyes dropped, and the tension fell. She felt like she could breathe again.

"I'm sorry," he said. "You'll have to excuse me."

"Where are you going?"

But he didn't answer. He couldn't. He was already down the hall and around the corner.

An hour later, Ren was still gone.

The dinner had proceeded to the desserts at this point, people mingling as they gave loud drunken toasts. Kyoko wandered the room, sipping on her fluted non-alcoholic drink and trying to ignore the pang in her chest. Every time one of the doors opened, her eyes would flick to it against her will. It was never him. He'd left.

It's fine, thought Kyoko, taking another sip. He'll be back. It's fine.

Sakura had spent much of that time with her, but Kyoko had insisted on letting the tall brunette be led away by other contestants. Sakura still needed to find a partner.

The contestants had already gone through two games. One just for the couples, and another for the audience. Kyoko had lost miserably, unable to answer a single question correctly in both. Not that it mattered. The prizes had been for various free wedding vendors and honeymoon locations. Her acting didn't rake in an extraordinary amount of money like some Hollywood stars did, but even without Ren's income, she could have taken them anywhere if they wanted.

Assuming he even wanted her anymore.

With every passing minute, it became more and more impossible to ignore the voice in the back of her mind. The nagging feeling that she knew exactly what was going on. That she had blown it. That her stunt at the boutique had destroyed any previous interest Ren had in her. Or maybe it had been something else. Maybe he hadn't liked her dress. Maybe he was just being a gentleman, offering the same trivial trite compliments he gave to other various women who flocked toward him.

Those women in the past had been beautiful. She'd seen them on set many times. Sometimes they were crew, sometimes they were fellow actresses. One way or another, Ren always gathered a hoard of simpering beautiful fans and women ready to drop their panties for him.

That last thought didn't help.

"Aww, what's this?" A simpering voice grated on Kyoko's ears, dripping with fake politeness that only fellow women would be able to direct. Kimura was passing by, a trio of men trailing behind her. They all turned at her words.

"Kyoko-san, sweetheart," continued Kimura, in full form with her fake pout. "Where is Ren-san? I haven't seen him all night. He didn't leave you, did he?"

"I'm sure he's around," said Kyoko, turning to leave, but Kimura kept talking.

"I thought I saw him with Eri-san," said Kimura. "Maybe she's telling him that you're leading him on. Poor dear. He deserves better than that."

Kyoko tried and failed to repress her eye-roll. "We're basically dating. How is that leading him on?"

"Because you don't intend to marry him." Kimura leaned over to one of the guys orbiting her, giving a loud stage whisper the other two men leaned in to catch. "I heard she's gotten six proposals. She was bragging about them at the sleepover."

Kyoko would never understand people like Kimura. Where did they get the energy to insert themselves so negatively into other people's lives? Maybe that was the point. Maybe that was where they got the energy because Kimura didn't stop there. She leaned away from the first man and fanned at her face, her eyes misting in fake tears.

"It just hurts to see a fellow contestant hurt like this," she said. "After the whole thing with Yoshio-san, well…" She gave another big sniff for emphasis. "Kyoko, stringing someone along is just the worst thing you could do."

And that was when Kyoko realized that Kimura was a complete waste of time, as was anyone that bothered listening to her. Kyoko turned on her heel and booked it for the first person she recognized who wasn't antagonistic toward her. That happened to be Hime and Suzuki.

"Oh, hi!" said Hime, cheeks flushed from the alcohol. She glanced at Kimura behind Kyoko and winced. "You should probably know, she's been running your name through the mud more so than usual. If she's not careful she's going to fully split the contestants into two groups; The pro-Kyoko and anti-Kyoko groups."

"Horray," said Kyoko deadpan. "Just what I always wanted."

"That's not the only thing." Hime gave Suzuki a nervous glance, something passing between the two of them. "It seems that whatever you said to Eri, it made an impression."

"What?"

Now Kyoko was worried. She liked Eri, even if the girl had a few rough edges. But they still hadn't talked since their last disagreement. To be honest, Kyoko had forgotten all about it.

"She's been spending a lot of time with Ren-san," said Suzuki. "I wouldn't have noticed or even mentioned it, but we were next to them at their table last night, and well…she was focusing on him. And I just got back from the bathroom, and I spotted them talking in the hallway. They stopped the second I noticed. I didn't hear what they were talking about, but whatever it was, it was obvious they didn't want to be overheard."

The room suddenly felt like it was floating. She was untethered, unsure where the next wave would come from. This was just gossip, surely. Eri was mad but she wouldn't do…something. Anything nefarious, would she?

And Ren was completely loyal to her. Not that he'd bothered to come back in and spend time with her, instead opting to have secret conversations with Eri. No problem. There was a perfectly logical explanation for this. No need to become insecure.

"I wonder what's that about." Kyoko swirled what was left of her drink in her glass, unable to stomach it.

"I don't know, but I'm going to get to the bottom of it tonight," huffed Hime who seemed to be angry for Kyoko's sake. "Ren is crazy for you, but this doesn't seem like Eri. She would never try to steal your man in revenge. "

"Not to be that person," said Suzuki "but we've known her for a week. Do we really know her?"

Hime deflated, looking like someone had taken her childhood lovey and ripped its head off. "I just don't think she would. And besides, Daichi-san is available again. She should be romancing him, not that I've seen him at all tonight either. Maybe she was looking for him and just stopped to talk to Ren-san?"

The two continued to bicker, but it didn't matter. Kyoko didn't need to add another thing to stress about when it came to Ren. Not when he had vanished without so much as a word of explanation. Maybe she should have just continued to follow him.

Her stomach clenched at the thought. She didn't want to be the clingy type needing validation at every small step in their relationship. He had something he needed to do, and that was it. He probably had a reason.

She raised a hand to rake it through her hair, only just stopping in time before she completely ruined the updo she'd spent half an hour constructing. It was useless. No matter how many prep talks she gave herself, this was the last straw. She felt an imaginary scale tip, and all the yucky insecure feelings she'd been shoving off came tumbling into her mind and stomach.

She had been so delusional. So embarrassing. So wrong. So naive. She could feel the wall around her heart rebuilding, her old inner demons rising from the dust piles Ren's smiles had previously rendered them into. But even they held no glee in the task. They looked as sad as her angels did.

It was a testament to her acting that neither Hime or Suzuki noticed her inner breakdown. She easily managed to steer the conversation to their wedding planning which ended up pulling a few of the other contestants in on the discussion. It gave Kyoko the cover she needed to slip away politely without being noticed.

Or so she had thought.

She nearly ran straight into Maeda. He caught her elbow, preventing her drink from splashing onto his suit. A good thing too. It was a pricy, well-cut tux with not a single speck of lint on it. His hair had been partially slick back, and if Kyoko was being honest with herself, the effect made him look extremely handsome. It reminded her of the hairstyle Ren often wore for modeling shoots.

"Sorry," said Kyoko. "I didn't realize you were standing there."

He removed his hand from her elbow, rubbing that hand's palm as if he had an itch there. "It's no problem. I was wondering if you'd like to dance."

She stared at him like the hydra he might as well have turned into. Sure, they were playing slow songs and a few daring couples had gone out to enjoy the music but really? They hadn't spoken to each other since she'd declined his proposal and they'd antagonized each other with the beach competitions.

In an uncharacteristic move of awkwardness, Maeda shuffled his feet. She was slapped with a very different impression of the usually severe stoic man. One where he looked younger and much more approachable. He broke eye contact for a second, almost looking like he wanted to run before his eyes snapped back to hers.

"You don't have to look like you saw an alien," he muttered. "A simple yes or no is preferable."

"Ah, sure. No, wait." She scrambled to reboot her brain and held out a hand, palm out. "If I dance with you, it will only cause more rumors about how I'm stringing Ren along."

But Maeda shrugged. "Do you care what those gossiping idiots think? If they can't detect your obvious infatuation with him, it's not your fault they're all dense as bricks."

Kyoko's mouth fell open as she gave a strangled sound. "What?"

In answer, he took the mostly empty drink from her hand and placed it on a nearby table. He then led her to the dance floor where she automatically followed. They easily found their proper positions for dancing. Maeda matched her proficiency, slipping her hand into his as he melted them into step with the song.

"I didn't understand it at first," said Maeda, talking effortlessly as if they were very familiar with each other. "After you stopped running, it's been obvious you're smitten with him. But why no proposal? Why so awkward? I didn't realize it until tonight."

His thick brows drew together, and she thought she saw something like concern there. "Tsuruga Ren isn't a nickname, is it?"

Kyoko pressed her lips together, aware she was probably making a good impression of a stumped frog. His keen dark eyes seemed to catch everything she wasn't saying.

"His identity is part of what's holding you back," he said. "Are you uncertain of his feelings? He is probably propositioned daily by beautiful women. What's to say he doesn't one day say yes and cheat on you? Considering the nature of your work that's not something you can just ignore."

In an instant, her anger pieced hot and thick in her mouth. She stopped dancing, the both of them stuck in the middle of the floor.

"Why is that everyone thinks the same thing?" she growled. First Dino-san, now Maeda. Even her insecurities. "Ren-san would never. He's not the type of man to lie or cheat."

Maeda didn't even bat an eye at her anger. "That's what all besotted women think. They're too close and can't see the scumbag that's taking advantage of them."

It hurt. Because he wasn't wrong.

But he was also very wrong about Ren.

Kyoko stepped an inch closer, anger making her tremble. "You know what? You're right. There are scumbags out there that take advantage of women. And let me tell you, it hurts like hell when the pin drops, and your entire sense of self-worth is thrown into the trash." Maeda's eyes widened and he looked like he wanted to speak, but Kyoko cut him off. "I know trash. I spent too long worshiping it thinking it was gold. Ren-san is not trash. He is something far more dangerous for the heart. Human. A good, honest, flawed man who cares for me. Nothing is more terrifying because if his interest wanes, I can't blame it on him."

Her words crackled and splintered in the air, leaving behind a hot angry energy between them. She breathed heavily through her anger as it dawned on her she had said more than she'd meant. Maeda always knew how to get under her skin. More so than Dino. More so than Kimura. She hadn't realized why until now.

He was her darkest inner dialog brought to life. First with the lists. Then his disdain for love. Now with her fear of Ren one day losing interest. He had a knack for finding her sorest bruise and pressing on it.

His surprise waned in the seconds they stared at each other, a few curls of his hair flopping back onto his forehead. He returned to his neutral scowl.

"That," he said slowly. "Is an understandable reluctance. I apologize. I should have expected you to have better sense."

"Better sense?" She could have laughed. "Yeah, because your opinion of my 'good sense' is so high."

"It doesn't happen often, but I misjudged you when we first met."

"Oh really?"

This ought to be good. She folded her arms, forgetting that they were in the middle of the dance floor in perfect view of the cameras. Thankfully, the other couples continued to dance so she and Maeda weren't the complete center of attention, but more than one person noted the argument happening between them.

"So, you don't think I'm a silly little girl in the 'petri dish of rejects?'" she said.

"No, you are silly," he said. "But, also not. It's hard to explain." He finally broke eye contact, staring at the ground as if he could dig up the exact words he needed. "You're alive. You have energy. Passion. You're so unapologetically yourself that at first, I thought it was foolishness or a cry for attention. But it's not. You're just you and the opinions of others be damned. It's refreshing. To see someone like that.

"My world has been full of nothing but adults with agendas where I must distrust kind words because it was too often flattery. Someone always wanted something from you, and if you were silly, well... You were taken advantage of. Even my friends growing up—but it doesn't matter."

Kyoko lifted an eyebrow, choosing to ignore the sudden info dump about his personal life that she hadn't asked for. "I seriously doubt I'm the only woman in this group being unapologetically themselves," she said. "Have you met Hime-san? I think she would be physically incapable of being anyone but herself. Also, I'm an actress, remember? If anything, I'm the person you should be most concerned about pretending."

"That's why I said it's hard to explain." He grimaced, frustrated that the ground didn't offer up the words he sought. His chin rose as he looked into her eyes. "You're not being sneaky, Mogami-san. I know what you're trying to do."

"Which is?"

"Give me an excuse to misunderstand you so you can shoo me away. It's not going to work."

Sonofa—

Now it was Maeda leaning closer, meeting her glare with his own though his was tinged at the edges with something soft.

"You're exciting. Genuine," he continued. "You don't back down from a challenge. I noticed it in the previous games, but this recent one cemented it. Your dress ensemble was stunning. You lacked some knowledge, but you pulled together a look using what resources you had, despite the setbacks. The only reason you didn't win was because that judge couldn't get over her prejudices. She was being petty, and yet, you didn't stoop to her level. You held your ground and took the criticism with so much grace that it was obvious to anyone who the real professional was."

Oh. Oh dear.

His words held that taste of something familiar. Something that infected and poisoned its way inside, slipping past her defenses and taking residence into an unprepared heart.

But this was Maeda! There was no way.

"You can't be serious." Her eyes widened as a blush darkened her cheeks against her will. "You're not saying that you—."

"—have feelings for you? It appears that I do." He looked as confused about it as Kyoko did. "It's the oddest feeling. You're not at all what I would have expected myself to be drawn to—"

"Hey!"

"—But at the same time, you are. Confident. Professional. Real." He caressed the last word like it was a velvet rose. Too easy to bruise. "I know you and Ren are almost a done deal, but until that ring is on your finger, I don't plan on backing down."

He took her hand. She was so stunned she let him.

"When I first proposed I didn't realize that this was what drove me," he said. "But I do now. I want you, Mogami-san. I'm curious to see how placing you in my life would color its days. I promise I will be an attentive, loyal husband and I will never hold you back from continuing to pursue your career in acting. I just ask that you give me a chance."

Kyoko turned into a goldfish. Her mouth bobbed open and closed, eyes wide and staring.

"T-that was way too intense for someone I've only known for like, a week!" she finally cried.

"I didn't say I loved you," he said, and she couldn't help but be impressed at how collected he remained while spewing embarrassing crap. "Just that I had feelings for you. But I know myself well enough and I think I've observed enough about you that I can guess they would grow rapidly. Are, growing rapidly."

"We've talked like, four times! And fought every time."

"I was being quite the ass, I'll admit. I feel like I can see myself better after talking with you."

This was going nowhere. She couldn't wrap her head around it. Maeda. Annoying better-than-the-peasants egomaniac had proposed to her again, this time with burgeoning feelings attached. What the actual hell had this show turned into?

And why the hell was she so flustered by this? That was the most frustrating part. His words had pierced through a tiny hole in her defenses. She believed him. She felt good thanks to his words. And it felt wrong. Like she was betraying Ren by being just a tiny bit flattered by Maeda's feelings.

Speaking of Ren.

He was there, against the wall of the room beside Eri. Watching. Impossible to scrutinize at this distance. His glasses hid his eyes, and the lighting of the room shaded his face.

Kyoko ripped her hand from Maeda's grasp.

"I'm sorry for your affliction," said Kyoko. "I'm sure it will pass."

Then she turned and booked it for the outside door.

Thanks for reading!

I'm so sorry that it's been so long! I'm still here! I know I know, I need to stop stopping. If you're worried I might drop it before finishing, fear not! It is my personal mission that if I post a story on the internet, I will finish it, no matter what. I just... sometimes lose all momentum and can't write a single decent line. But fear not! I've had a breakthrough and you can expect more chapters on the way!

Anyway, thanks again for reading and not giving up on me... because there are still peeps here, right? Right!? Like that guest from a few days ago? If it's only you and me at this point, I will still finish it for you. XD

Sending all my love! Hope everyone is doing well! Yes, I'm still on the Skip Beat discord. If you ping me I show up, but I'm just on it a lot less in general.

-Blushweaver