Alice

Jasper's gaze remained on the angel fountain as he sipped his coffee out on the patio. Alice had already tried to make conversation with him but his one word answers indicated he was in no mood to talk.

The cameras were rolling, and she knew their conversation the night before had been private. At least he wasn't smoking. She was so sure their shower and the intimacy they shared the night before had been a bridge of some sort, to help them get past the awkwardness. It was still unreal to her. She told him she loved him. But he hadn't said it back. Nor was he saying he was willing to quit.

The knock at the door, which would have seemed intrusive before, was more than welcome, and Alice smiled with relief when she met the kind eyes of the older bearded gentleman pastor, the resident marriage counselor.

"Good morning," she said, coffee in hand.

"Good morning, Alice," he said with a smile.

Jasper had peeked around the corner but shook his head.

"Good morning, Jasper."

Jasper exhaled and entered the living room, seeing the camera man that had followed him inside. "What brings you here, Pastor?"

"Just checking in on you two. Wanted to see that things were okay."

Jasper began to speak, "Oh yeah, just fi—"

Alice gestured him inside to the sofa. "Actually, I'm glad you're here." She offered him some coffee, and the pastor joined them.

"How are you lovebirds doing?"

Taking a deep breath, she glanced at Jasper. He knew he was watching her so carefully, probably wondering what she would reveal. "Why don't you ask Jasper?"

"Fine," Jasper said quickly, "all good here. No worries."

"Uhhhh…" Alice uttered. "That's not really true, now is it?"

The pastor turned his gaze to Jasper, who stayed silent, hands tightly folded in his lap and then back to Alice. "What's going on?"

"Do we…have to do this now?" Jasper asked.

"When you have a problem, it's better to get it out in the open and discuss it. Best not to let things fester, right?" The pastor turned to Alice. "Who wants to start?"

Alice gestured to Jasper. "Go ahead, Jas. Please? He's here to help us."

"That's right. We are all about making this work."

"But…" Jasper's gaze dropped downward. "What if it can't?"

Alice's eyes widened. She was on the verge of tears. Not only had she declared her love the night before and not received the desired response, but now he was making it seem like he wasn't going to follow through.

"Why's that?"

"Well, you want us to accept each other as we are, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"She wants me to change, and I don't know that I can."

A look of realization fell over the kind man's features. Alice opened her mouth to interject, but the pastor held up his hand and turned to Jasper. "What do you think she wants to change?"

"I'm a smoker. I always have been and probably will always be. She can't accept that about me. She wants me to quit."

Yikes. He was due for another patch already. She wondered if it was the nicotine talking or if these were his true feelings.

The pastor shot a look at Alice and turned back to Jasper. "I see. I recall that Alice placed this on her application as one of her strong dislikes. Dr. Saltz, Dr. Muncher, and I had a conversation about this."

"So this is your fault. You set her up for unrealistic expectations!" Jasper nearly shouted.

The pastor lowered his voice and raised his hands. "We discussed this quite seriously and saw the potential for the two of you as a couple. That is why we matched you. Now, tell me, if cigarettes were not an issue, do you see having a future with Alice?"

Jasper flopped back against the seat. "Well, yeah, of course. But now, she wants me to stop something I've done most of my life, and it's just a lot to ask right now."

Alice dropped her face into her palm. She wanted to scream. This had been a hard no for her originally, but she guessed that as the experts had, that she would've changed her mind. However, she was willing to bend—to an extent. The question was: how far was he willing to?

Jasper

He felt hot beneath his collar. They had been set up, knowing she hadn't tolerated smoking and matched them anyway, and now here they were. Anyone with common sense knew that if she preferred a non-smoker not to set her up with someone who'd smoked for half their life! But then he saw her, and he thought he lost his heart right then and there.

"What would it take?" The pastor asked, looking to Alice now and then back to Jasper. "Marriage is more than about one person—it's give and take and compromise. So, how do you feel about this?"

Tears ran down Alice's face, and Jasper felt her sadness. He wanted to kick himself for acting like such a selfish prick. She'd said she loved him less than twelve hours before and he'd done the equivalent of spitting in her face. Yet, the cravings…they never truly left. And the relief he felt the night before was such a high, he was reaching for it again. "It's up to her. Of course I want Alice." He sat up. "I've never wanted someone so much in my life. But, I don't think it's fair for her to make me choose."

Her lips trembled. "I told you on day one that I didn't like it and you said…"

"I know what I said, Alice."

"Then, you're changing your mind."

"Only because you're making me choose."

She jumped off the sofa, tears streaming down her face. "I can't do this right now. I…gotta get out of here." She hurried down the hallway and the camera man followed her until the slamming of the door caused Jasper to flinch. This was the first time they'd had such a heavy disagreement, and he hated causing her this pain. And he was going to look like such a jerk to America, not that he cared too much about that right now.

The pastor stood. "I think that for now, it would be good for me to speak to her separately, Jasper, but before I do, I just want to know. Is this a dealbreaker for you? Her wanting you to quit? Are you putting your addiction before your marriage?"

Now, he truly felt like the biggest of assholes. Putting his addiction before his marriage…was that what he was doing? If only it were as easy as he hoped it would be. Jasper wished he didn't have the craving every hour of every day even with these darn nicotine patches. If they didn't help, was that it for him? He opened his mouth, wanting to put it all on the line. He wanted to say the words, "I don't want to quit smoking. Period." But they didn't come out.

"Hold that thought," the pastor told him. "I'm going to talk to Alice."

Alice held her pink teddy bear, pressing it against her chest. Her childhood teddy, its black beady eyes so worn now, had gotten her through the deaths of her aunt and her father, breakups, and other tragedies in her life. Now, she clutched it tightly as the pastor's voice broke across the door.

Great, she thought. Not only does she have to go through this, but now it has to be America's business too. A thought came to her just then, and she eyed the window. She could just kick out the screen door and run from this place, flee this situation where the world was watching her failure, the rejection. It was only a fleeting thought. Alice was never one to run away from her problems.

"Alice? Can I come in please?"

She heaved a sigh, and set down her teddy bear on her desk in case she needed it later. Was it too soon to admit this was all just a big mistake? That sometimes things didn't work out as you'd hoped? What if that was the lesson?

When she opened the door, she wasn't surprised to see the camera man behind him and held out her arm to invite them inside.

"Thanks, Alice," the kind pastor said. "I believe I can help."

She nodded and gestured for him to sit on the overstuffed chair. They waited a moment for the camera man to settle and took a seat on another chair and she was handed a microphone that she clipped onto her waistband. When she turned the volume she was given the thumbs up, and the pastor took his cue to begin.

Staged. What a ridiculous concept. What had she been thinking?! Oh, that's right. Her spirit guides, her guidance had led her here. She had to trust.

"Now, I see you two are having a disagreement…"

Alice laughed. "A disagreement? This isn't about what we should eat for lunch or what color to paint the walls."

"No, of course not. What I mean is that there may be a resolution that both of you can arrive at."

She rose and paced, and with irritation she noticed the lens following her from the corner of her eyes. She wanted to scream. "Jasper wants me to allow him to keep smoking. He wants me to be okay with that. And I'm not, so I'm all ears. What do you suggest?"

"I get it, Alice. I understand this is frustrating for you because you've had some personal experience with loss. What this all comes down to is how much you're willing to make this marriage work."

Tears spilled from her eyes, and her face crumpled. God! She was crying now, and she swore she wouldn't be one of those women who cried on national television. She would stay grounded, smile, and keep hold of her emotions. She missed Bella so badly, wished she was here instead of this well-meaning man and cry on her best friend's shoulder.

He rose, sat beside her on the bed, box of tissues in hand. "Take your time," he whispered.

At least it seemed he cared. He was seasoned, he'd been doing this for years, and it really seemed the presence of the cameraman didn't faze him.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the words came out in stutters. "He…I…" Then she sobbed again, and this time he just sat, waiting. "I told him I loved him, Pastor. And I didn't expect him to say it back. It's only been 3 weeks, but Jesus. I don't just say that if I don't mean it. I don't know what to do. Why is this all on me anyway? He's the one with the habit. It will take him too, the way it took my aunt…my dad…"

"I see. That must have been very troubling for you to not hear the words back. You haven't done anything wrong, and you have the biggest heart, Alice. I believe with all my heart that you have the best intentions."

She nodded, sniffling, and grabbed a tissue from his box.

"You are such a strong woman. Going through things like this really tests your character. Now, I understand how difficult this is for you. But, with that said, I need to find out whether there is a compromise for the two of you. Often when a person is required to quit something cold turkey it can be the most difficult thing. Some people can do it, and some can't. But, we are here for you, and we want to do whatever we can to help."

"Does that mean you're going to make him quit?" she asked hopefully.

He smiled but shook his head. "We can't interfere with Jasper's free will. If it's not in his heart to quit then nobody, not even God can change his mind, but are you willing to give him the chance?"

"He's made up his mind. He doesn't want to quit. He resents me for trying to make him. You heard him— he said I was trying to change him! I would be patient. I'm willing to work with him. But, what I can't work with is a refusal. I made that clear from the beginning. I mean, maybe this all happened for a reason, Pastor. Maybe he's not for me. Maybe there's something he's supposed to teach me about myself."

"Or maybe he's still learning about himself. What he can live with…and what he can live without."

"Does that mean we should separate for a while?"

"Not at all. In any marriage, a separation is a last case scenario. This takes communication and cooperation. And love."

"But, he doesn't love me." Her lips trembled. "Not enough to quit."

"And right now he's thinking you don't love him enough to accept him."

She sat in silence for a moment, remembering how full her heart felt that first day. "When I first saw him, I could hardly catch my breath. He was…the one. I was so sure. But I can't do it, Pastor. Just because smoking is legal doesn't mean that I should have to accept it. If he had a drinking problem then wouldn't you try to help him quit?"

"Of course…if that's what he wanted. Marriage, in your situation, is about starting from where you are. He doesn't know enough about your past and neither do you. And when someone has an addiction it doesn't go away overnight."

"But he doesn't want to quit. And I can't deal with that. I shouldn't have to, but the idea of losing him…" Her words faded and sobs took over. "I meant it when I told him I loved him. But now I feel so stupid."

"I'm sorry, Alice." Jasper had entered and three of them turned to face him. His brown eyes were sad, and his eyes were glassy.

"Sorry?" she said.

"I'm so sorry." Jasper went to Alice, and the pastor rose so he could take his place beside her. "I don't want to lose you."

"Okay," the pastor said. "So, we have someplace to start. What are we willing to do, or not do to make this marriage work?"

"I'm going to be honest." Jasper stopped there.

"Please," the pastor said.

"I don't know if I can quit."

"Are you willing to try, like you said?"

He nodded. "Yes."

She smiled and he took her hand in his and squeezed it. "Okay. I can work with that, if you mean it."

"Okay, that's great news. We have resources on quitting. There's therapy, patches, gum, all of it. We can choose a start date, and then even taper down from there. How does that sound?" the pastor suggested.

"I've been through a lot of hard stuff in my life, but this will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I am willing. Because…" He looked at Alice. "Because I love you, too."

A/N: Many thanks to you all for reading! Thanks for your reviews, and I hope to hear from you again!