Pranked

Chapter 3 of Ardra

Shortly after beaming down with Troi and Data, Picard held a hurried chat with Geordi, who would coordinate the trap. "Mr la Forge, I'm going to leave this link open. Cue your actions to my words."

"Understood, Captain. I'll interrupt Ardra's energy path when you mention it's her turn."

Picard was content for the moment to observe. Ardra held court from the throne, listening to budget proposals, zoning ideas, tax incentives. With each questioning look from the relevant minister, she made an idle motion of approval.

"She's bored," Troi said, "but alert for anything she disagrees with on principle."

"That's the least of her problems." Picard led his group forward as the group broke up into small clutches. He sought out Jared. "How goes it, Minister? Has your new queen made any unreasonable demands?"

"Surprisingly few," he said with a nervous glance her way. "She doesn't like special interest lobbies, and has banned them from the capital."

"Prudent," Data said, earning him a stern look from Picard.

"We have indications," Troi began, "that Ardra—or whoever she is—has a cloaked ship in orbit as her power base. Captain Picard is here to expose her."

"Then you'd better be right." Jared looked uneasily toward Ardra, who regarded them with bemused half interest. "Don't bring her wrath down upon us."

"The only thing that's coming down," Picard said, "is this charade. Please clear the floor for us."

Reluctantly, Jared gathered his people off to one side, and Picard strode forth to do battle. "Ardra," he proclaimed, "I challenge you to pit your power against mine." Now she was smiling broadly. "I will conjure an earthquake, and dare you to do the same." He raised an arm theatrically. A minor tremor shook the chamber, drawing gasps of surprise from the councilors. "Your turn." Four security men discretely took position just outside.

Ardra rose. "Is that all? Johnny, Johnny. The first clue was how your people weren't the least bit surprised. The second was your obvious code word to your ship. I mean my ship. They caused the tremor, you old phony." She looked to the ministers. "Shall I go him one better? It could get hairy."

With newfound confidence, Jared stepped up. "I'm afraid you'll have to, Ardra. If you can."

"So be it." She raised a hand. The shaking was so intense that people struggled to stay on their feet. A statue fell and shattered. Ardra caused it to reassemble. Hands at her hips, she surveyed the terrified officials. "I'm debating whether to make you people two feet or three feet tall."

Picard went straight to his combadge. "What happened, Geordi? We've been rather embarrassed down here."

"I can't explain it, Captain. We used full deflector power against her ship. Suddenly there's no ship there."

"And there never was," Ardra said. "I wanted to see how far you people would jump at a carrot." She stepped regally down. "Leave the metal man, and he can ask all the questions he wants." She lowered a smoky look at the ministers. "Don't you people have work to do?" They scurried away. "As for you security types—you look a little tired. Go home and go to bed." She waved them out of the chamber, gone as suddenly as they'd arrived.

"Her idea has merit," Data said. "I will learn all that I can."

Picard gave Ardra a thunderous look. "Very well. I'll allow it. Enterprise, two to beam up." The pair shimmered out of sight.

Data wasted no time. "Yesterday you deliberately mispronounced the French expression. Why?"

"Anything to mess with Picard's head."

"That is important to you?"

"It is for him, my mechanical friend. But fear not. If he's too obtuse to connect the dots, I'll give him a little help."

"Connect the dots." Data pondered for a second. "That is a childhood game developed within the last five centuries. How could you know of it?"

"You think I've lain in a crypt all these years?"

"I do not know, and that is the crux of the matter. This could be solved if you have a way of proving that you are a thousand years old."

She smiled. "Well done, Sherlock. You're on the verge of getting it."

"Sherlock Holmes." The faintest of smiles came to Data's mouth. "Would you care to elaborate?"

"Tell Picard I'll see him later today. I'll give him two choices. Either way, he gets his ship back. But if he gets it wrong, I'm going to be disappointed."

"The captain will be pleased to know that. I think. Enterprise, one to beam up."

Jared had been lurking nearby. "Will you really give them back their ship? What changed your mind?"

"There's more to the universe than one ship, and I've only begun to explore it. Don't expect to get your planet back, however. A gal needs somewhere to call home."

He tagged along when she went onto the east balcony. "But Ardra—Captain Picard says you've admitted to merely assuming the fulfillment of the prophecy. Is that even your true name?"

Ardra gazed out at afternoon sun for a moment, how it fired the villas cascading down the hill.

"These people believe in me. If they didn't, this world would be as corrupt as any other." She fixed him with her hypnotic gaze. "Would you deny them that? Do you know what will happen if they defy me?"

"I shudder to think." He went back inside.

Ardra inhaled rain-fresh air. "Tonight, Johnny. Don't disappoint me."

Aboard Enterprise:

Picard and Riker waited in the captain's ready room. Riker sat forward, elbows on knees. "Do you think she's serious about releasing the ship?"

"I'll reserve judgment after that prank she played today. We were perfect fools. And yet I'm confident she'll tire of the game soon enough."

"Maybe that got it out of her system."

Picard drummed fingers. "All we have to go on is that cryptic report from Data. I'll be given two choices. What happens if I make the wrong decision? Do I go through life three feet tall?"

Riker clasped hands pensively. "I'm starting to wonder if this planet isn't her power source. There's plenty of room to hide one." He studied his knuckles. "I understand she has an animus against Q. How do you see a matchup?"

Leaning back, Picard looked distant. "Well, I wouldn't want to see her annihilated. She's caused no real harm—not like some of the things Q has done to us."

A boyish grin came to Riker's face. "I have a feeling you're going to make the choice she approves of."

The grin was infectious for Picard, but only for a moment. "She did point out that I'm an explorer. Depending on how forthcoming she wants to be, I have a chance to learn a great deal about her. That's assuming she can deliver, because I'm still not convinced she's real." The prospect of getting the ship back held a great deal of appeal. He had to guard against any sort of gratitude for Ardra. Was her secret even worth knowing? It would make her vulnerable. The whole thing was the kind of mystery Picard couldn't resist. He was actually looking forward to getting answers.

"I'll be on the bridge," Riker decided. "That's better than getting thrown out of here when she arrives."

Once alone, Picard passed the time with archaeology journals, a favorite hobby. He didn't have very long to wait.

Ardra appeared in a flash, arms upraised as if awaiting applause. "Time's up!" She strutted around the space, peered into the model display case. "Will this be a private chat, or shall we conduct it on the bridge?"

"I hardly think the bridge is the proper venue, Ardra. First, I'd like to know the consequence of making a choice you don't approve of."

"It's very simple, Johann." She braced palms on his desk. "I think you'll be impressed."

He came around to confront her. "I don't impress easily."

That beguiling smile again. "You never stepped into my world." Her lip curled down a little. "That was a clue."

"Are you saying we're going somewhere?"

"You don't have to, but it will forever make you a small man in my eyes. Don't expect me to come when you get yourself into a spot, and you're good at doing that."

"A spot like this one?" he asked. "I must agree with you. It rather sounds like you're reserving the right to pop in at any time."

"With a difference. No more tricks, and you're free to accept my help or not." She moved away and beckoned.

Picard moved to join her. "Our destination?"

"The Andromeda galaxy, a thousand years ago."

This changed things. No amount of technology could pull off such a feat. It she did it, there could be only one explanation: she was a member of the Q.

Sensing hesitation, she added, "Your safety is guaranteed. However long we're there, we'll return to this point in time."

"What do I have to learn?"

"My origin, of course." They winked out of existence.