Ch 4- The Property of the Lady.
Bruce Wayne had had many slaps, glasses of champagne and cups of wine poured, doused, sprinkled and slapped on over the course of maintaining his playboy persona. Some he deserved, most where just a side effect but all in all he knew the cause of every one of them.
So it was quite a surprise when Audrey the Princess of Kasnia walked up to him and slapped him.
"Ok, not to be to much of a pig...but can you please remind me what did I do and when?" Bruce asked putting on his fake lady killer smile.
"For daring to propose such an outrageous thing to me!"
Bruce was still confused at that, to his knowledge this was the first time both of them where in the same continent let alone room.
"And what was that exactly?"
"Asking me to be your Bond Girl."
"What? You a Bond Girl in my next movie?" Bruce asked in confusion. If he wanted one of those headaches like Princess Audrey he would have asked Paris Hilton or a Kardasian to star in his next movie.
"Fine! But only because you harassed me day and night you crazy person!" Princess said with a huff and Bruce realized he was being played...hard!
"Says the woman who walked up to a total stranger and slapped him for something that he didn't do."
"And who's fault is that Mr Wayne? Who's fault is that you did nothing!" Audrei challenged with an elegant raised eyebrow and Bruce felt a migraine coming on.
"A pity you want to be a Bond Girl, you'd make a decent villian, you got that natural deviousness that all great plagues of humanity have." Bruce said in a dry tone that he expected another slap of drink the face but Audrey's eyes went wide before she started to pace in front of Bruce at the bar.
"Wait...yes! I could play a villian! A great villian! The Greatest! But then I would have made a spectacular Bond Girl! Oh woe is me!? Woe to the world that no matter what I do I must disappoint my darling fans."
"Where's a supervillain when you need him?" Bruce thought to himself in annoyance. "Why not play twins?" Bruce added sarcastically.
"YES! That's it! I play the feisty but sweet Bond Girl! And then we have a lovely love making scene, perhaps a wedding in the first act, and then someone bursts into the room to reveal that in fact James was with the Evil Sister that night who is the mastermind of the movie. Oh how cruel to think you married the love of your life for her to be an impostor, for your sweetest night to become a nightmare! For the face of your love to be the face of a demon! At first she just planned to use you as a source of information on MI6 and kill you after, but then the evil sister reveals that she had fallen in love with you after the night they spent together. Then the climax where one sister dies in the other's arms! Oh and then your infamous final scene of you trying to propose and marry the heroine, your one true love only to get rejected since all she can see is her dead sister for now. So she disappears leaving behind the ring, then you go for some air but when you return the ring is gone leaving behind only a symbol of the evil sister like a Black Rose! And Bond looks in dread at the night sky as a familiar laugh echoes and scene! Cue the credits!"
"Looks like the supervillain was in front of my eyes all along."
Bruce zone out all her ramblings as he just realized that it was better to just go with the flow as Audrei all but wrote there and then a star vehicle for herself disguised as a James Bond film.
The film was actually pretty decent since both characters that Audrei played where just two parts of her own real life personality she did a pretty good performance.
That was how the Property of the Lady was made and as he participated in the premiere in Paris he dreaded the after party and the investigation he had to do latter tonight in regards to Kasnia.
But all in all he approved of the theme of the film which was Kylie Minogue-Confide in me, but he couldn't help but noticed that there was a lot of new female fans Bond after Property.