Disclaimer: I still don't own. XD A. N. So, today is dedicated to Team Free Will...and as much as I adore Cas, I had to go for the version 2.0. The complete one. :-)

Freaks

Dean doesn't get it, not even when Sam tells him (in as few words as possible, it's not his turn to be an emotional mess). And Sam understands it, even. Dean's still grieving mom and Cas (you'd have to be blind and deaf not to realize he loved the angel), and rage has always been the stage where the Winchester men get stuck, on a vicious loop.

With Lucifer out of reach, it's natural that Dean wants to lash out against his spawn, blaming him for...what? Pitting Cas against Lucifer? Attracting Lucifer by being born? All of the above and maybe some extra on top, it's not like Dean is much for talking things out either. In a different reality, maybe, Sam would side with him – will side with him. Since apparently alternate realities are a thing, and isn't that a mindfuck. Good things they're used to the rules of everything changing on them at the drop of a hat by now.

But Sam sees Jack, sweet smile and naive and horrifyingly powerful, and it's like looking in a funhouse mirror. Does he want to use him to save mom? Yes, of course he does. And no, it's not because, for once in his life, he's the one suffering from denial on steroids. He'll tell Dean he was clinging to hope, because it's kinder, and because he'll turn out to be wrong, too. But when Lucifer is involved hope is out of question. There's only bone-deep, manic terror. Because Sam was the one trapping Lucifer away from what he wanted, and he knows how that goes. Sure, he has a whole other universe to play in this time, not a boring old cage. But Sam still couldn't imagine that things would be too different. Would he kill mom? Duh. Would he let her stay dead? Why would he give her that mercy? (It turns out he was, indeed, blessedly wrong, all thanks to Jack, in a way. Though archangels are always the bane of their existence.)

Still, saving mom is not all Jack's good for. And – isn't that the keyword. Dean's wrong, has gotta be wrong. Jack isn't a monster. Because if he is, what does that make Sam, huh? The kid is a literal baby (not in looks, maybe, but in age) and it's not his fault that he's tied to Lucifer. If you ask him about his dad, he'll name Cas. That has to count. (And it wasn't Sam's fault that he's been stalked all his life, molded into the perfect vessel for Lucifer...is it? Azazel didn't know there was something wrong with him...or did he?)

Jack's innocent, still. Sure, he might have hurt a couple people on reflex, trying to protect himself, but -there's no blood on his hands yet. (So, so much blood on Sam's; so many mistakes. World-ending ones, too, if Dean hadn't saved it, one way or another.) It doesn't matter what the kid could do. It only matters what he will. Jack isn't bound to follow his grace donor's footsteps. Cas believed it (no matter how angry that makes Dean at the moment), Kelly believed it, Sam needs to believe it.

So what if he is a fuck up.

Jack has a chance. Jack...is a chance, in a way. Because if Sam can see him grow happy and strong, confident and healthy (sane is actually what he means, given angelic self-healing), then it'll be evidence. That things could have been different for him, too. If he wasn't weak and too, too easy to lead astray, and – well. He can always ask Dean the list of his flaws in case he's afraid of forgetting some, but honestly, he doesn't want to dawdle right now. Not when he has to figure out how to help Jack flourish like he – still – deserves.

(Sam isn't entertaining the voice that whispers that if he was even weaker, even more hopeless, that boy would have been his own son; this isn't about that.) It's about fixing the past, in some twisted way, or paying it forward, or – something. Something he really, really needs to do, and if it takes reserves of patience he didn't even know he had, or reassuring Jack he's not evil, of course not (he can't be, for Sam's sanity), where did he get that idea, it's no problem.

Where ends up being Dean, who promised Jack he'll kill him, and suddenly Sam's thrown eleven years into the past (well, not literally, by angelic powers or not, but he might as well be). Did he know that Dean wouldn't be all warm and fuzzy towards the kid? Sure. But not this. Not this. Sam could be sick, because he knows how this goes, and he doesn't want that for Jack. Not drunk, terrified (of himself, always) and pleading in his sweetest voice to be put down. Though Jack wouldn't even get to be drunk, probably. Cas had to drink one whole liquor store for that; even half-human, Jack could probably drink all the alcohol they have at the bunker and only be buzzed, if even that.

God, if Cas were here he'd talk sense into Dean. He'd stop him from hating the kid. Even if he wouldn't know why that promise scares Sam to the core, why Dean screaming Jack is a freak when Sam tries to make him take it back feels like a lashing. Sam can tell himself it's normal, it's expected, it's Dean being Dean until the words lose all meaning. It doesn't stop his soul from hearing something very different. "I've made the mistake of letting one fucking freak live already, and look at the result. Apocalypse after apocalypse. I may be dumb, but not dumb enough to do it again. If I had any sense, I would never have done it in the first place."

His brother can say there's no comparison between Sam and Jack until he's blue in the face. He can't really be that blind, can he? The only difference is that Jack's list of fuckups is still almost virgin, even wanting to judge him with the cruel meter Dean applies. If anyone deserves to be killed, Sam knows who it is. Still, he'll argue, desperate for Dean to relent, to deny, to – love Jack, even, so Sam can breathe and know his brother doesn't regret being unable to do what should have been done.

That's selfish of Sam, sure. He should have let it rest. Counted his blessings. Because in the following days he sees Dean devolve in front of him, jump the bargaining phase (thank God, because if his brother signed another deal, he doesn't know how his sanity would fare) and plunge headlong into depression. True, suicidal is pretty standard for grieving Dean. It happens swiftly though, usually – in the 24 hours. Hell, the first time they encountered Croatoan you could argue Sam wasn't even dead yet and Dean was suicidal already. Now, Sam had hoped Dean would be their father's son, riding rage for a few decades.

He can't exactly beg his brother to stay, though. He tries his best to cheer him up, any way he can think of. It's pathetic, really, enough for Dean to call him out on it. Not pathetic enough to trigger Dean's "gotta take care of baby brother," though, because Dean kills himself anyway. On a case; for a case; plausible deniability at its finest, always the name of his big brother's game, before Sam can argue him out of it. Temporarily, was the plan, but the antidote seems not to take effect, and it's every nightmare Sam had coming true.

He's sure it's because Dean doesn't want to come back. Perhaps he waited to see if Chuck would just resurrect Cas for him again after all, listened to his messages or something, and that's why it took him so long to do it. He's dead and Sam's alone and how is he supposed to function? As a human being, really. Not even as a parent, that's not in question right now, though if he had the neurons to spare he would decide to abandon Jack for the kid's own sake. Grieving Winchesters are not single parenting material.

Dean comes back, in the end, bless anything and everything that persuaded him to. Sam can breathe. For the moment, at least, because Chuck knows his brother's still at risk. Right then, though, before Sam can spin himself into another panic attack, Cas resurrects. It's the blessing Sam couldn't pray for. Dean's not going anywhere now. And it wasn't God, or Amara, it was Jack. Jack, who missed Cas ferociously enough to bring him back. (Of course the kid would. What he had was...more than lacking.) Sam could fall to his knees and worship him, if he thought it'd make the boy happy.

But Jack doesn't need it, he doesn't want anything more than to be just like Dean (and Sam definitely gets that), be a hunter like the parents he knows.

Sure, the case he found could be nothing at all in twelve different ways, but it's at Tombstone. No wonder Dean's eager to check it out – the kid stumbled right on to his brother's cowboy fetish. For all the ways Sam keeps failing his brother, Jack is coming through. He might try to be good to the kid, but he'll never come close to repaying him for this alone.

When Dean announces the creation of Team Free Will 2.0, Jack included, Sam trails along. He keeps a lid on it, of course. Dean's already obscenely happy for...maybe even enough for four people, actually. There's no reason to thank his brother for it. Definitely no reason to let slip that his own standing in the family (Dean can call it team all he wants, Sam knows what it is) feels more secure. Look at the result. Dean can have his freaks in tow – all three of them; Sam doubts anyone has ever accused Cas of being normal by any standard – but that's not necessarily a bad thing.