Hello there!

This story was originally posted for an event on AO3 but I thought that I could still share it there, it's enjoyable on its own ^^

The pictures mentioned here are the ones of Blitz that Stolas looks at on his phone at the end of The Circus. I can't add the links here but you can still check the episode itself (S2E1) if needed ;)

Content warning: heavy drinking as a coping mechanism

Uncomfortable truth

Stolas is awakened by lights dancing on his face. An oddly peaceful way to start the day when he's sure that today is Monday, and therefore he should have set…

Ah, yes. The alarm is blaring right as he thinks that, and with the way his brain registers it, he realizes it's probably what truly woke him up, but his brain is too sluggish to process it immediately. Either way, he extends an arm to silence it, without moving from the bed, still lying on his back, one arm above his chest, and the other returning to cross over it while he stares at the bed's canopy.

He only allows himself a few seconds to gather some strength before he gets up, and it only makes him think back to before being reunited with Blitz, when his life was still so miserable, and he groans.

He should be happy, truly. Thanks to the imp, he finally found it in him to kick Stella out and ask for a divorce, whether she wants it or not. It's a great achievement, one that is sure to make his life easier once done. Yet he can't bring himself to celebrate. Because he knows Stella will make the proceedings as long and insufferable as possible.

But honestly? Stella isn't even his main concern as he drags himself to his bathroom to freshen up a bit and take his pills. He managed to sleep the hangover away, but he isn't quite sure he's supposed to take new pills so soon. But he knows he missed them on Saturday, so it probably can't hurt. His state of mind asks for it anyway.

Now that it's done, he finds the courage to venture outside. He's only dressed in his red robe, because the only person he has a risk to meet in the kitchen is Via. But his daughter is nowhere to be seen, and as he prepares his drink and breakfast, she's still not there.

He frowns. He should have checked on her, as he usually do when he wakes up. Did he do it without paying attention on the way? With how exhausted and distracted he still feels, it's he has to admit, he lost the habit a bit since Blitz entered his life again, for Stella often found him before he could do that little ritual of his.

Fuck, no. Not thinking about that now. Later, once his brain is a bit more alert, and his stomach not rumbling. He's surprised to have an appetite at all, considering everything, but he's not complaining either. Hell, he didn't eat anything at all this week end, his body probably needs the food.

So he eats, slowly, expecting to see Via walk in any minute now. But she doesn't, and when he checks the time with a look at the kitchen's clock, he realizes she may not emerge before a while. She and Stella returned late yesterday evening, and with everything that happened, namely Stella storming out and him doing his best to explain the situation to his owlet, it was entirely possible she wouldn't be up before almost noon, either because she feel asleep late proceeding everything, or just because she could, since Stella isn't there to wake her up early anymore. It's all quite sudden for his poor daughter, even if not completely unexpected, with how her mother has behaved since his… "Affair" with Blitz.

The prince groans into his hands, trying and failing to read the newspaper that was left on the table. There's no escaping it, isn't it? Well, his stomach is full, his breakfast done, and he won't be able to focus on any news. Unless he ends up on an article about what happened Friday evening at Ozzie's, and that is the last thing he needs.

So, he decides to set to work. After all, there's a lot that needs to be done.

First, he puts away the dishes he used for his breakfast, then he feeds the plant that patiently watched him eat, rubbing at the side with a smile and a few soft words.

Then, he finally finds the courage to get dressed. He may not even meet anyone directly today, but it helps him get into the right mind set. First, contact a lawyer to start on the divorce. Then…

He abandons his study to return to his bedroom, where he finds the book he read yesterday, still open to the page about Asmodean crystals. Should he really go on with this plan?

His memories from yesterday night are a bit fuzzy. From all week end, really. The only clear memory is the night at Ozzie's, and it's a painful one. But yesterday night? He was still hangover from drinking his sorrow away all week end long. Yet, he doesn't feel like his conclusion from then is wrong, but… He has this urge to think twice about it, to be sure. Because there will be no going back.

Tho… Does he really have a choice? There's no going back to normal after what happened that night anyway. For him, yes, but surely for Blitz too. Unless he misunderstood it all again.

Stolas sits on his bed in his royal attire, looking longingly at what is usually Blitz's side of the bed, and sights. Then turns his head toward the book forgotten on the bedside table.

Should he really carry out his plan, and book an appointment with Asmodeus to get one of his crystals? The deal he suggested to Blitz seemed fair at the time, and the imp never tried to change it, never complained, didn't even try to negotiate. So how could it have come down to where they stood now?

He knows that he's being overly dramatic a bit, but still… It's not just him, it's not just in his head. He takes out his phone, opening his conversation with Blitz. Predictably, there's no new messages. Stolas didn't check the imp's Sinstagram yet, but decides against it for now, least he gets distracted. Instead, he focuses on his discussion with Blitz, only to wince at their last exchange.

It was soon after Blitz stormed away in his van. Stolas felt bad about the state the imp had left in, and texted to apologize, but Blitz brushed it off, same when he offered to talk about the night's events. Like if everything had been fine. Like if Blitz hadn't seemed so hurt by what happened, what those people said to him, even shedding some tears as he pointed out how Stolas only wanted him for sex, voice tight with emotions, before rushing out.

Obviously, the imp was oblivious to his attempts at hinting he wanted more. Stolas has to admit, he's surprised his feelings aren't clearer than that. But, on the other hand… Is the problem truly how well he shows his dreams of romance with the imp, or the fact it is simply not reciprocated at all? After all, Blitz didn't invite him at Ozzie's for a date, that much is crystal clear now.

Mirroring his actions from last night, Stolas goes through his recent pictures with Blitz, purposefully avoiding the most recent ones at Ozzie's, and the first he finds is already… Not really flattering.

Not for Blitz, of course, the imp is always dashing, especially in that work suit of his! No, it's just… He didn't trust his fuzzy memories from yesterday with how much he drank before, but the exact same realization strikes him as he looks at the pictures, and remembers when it was taken. It's not old, really, the few pictures he looked at yesterday and is looking at again now are from their last full moon, since it's so hard to convince the imp to come outside of those, and sadly Stolas has a good guess as to why now.

He decides to go back to the first picture of their time together on that night. Ignoring the one of him in his bath to prepare for the assassin's arrival - probably taken to show Blitz how impatient he was to see him, tho he does not remember if he did send it - to the one that sealed it for him the evening before.

The picture is of both him and Blitz, in the corridor leading to his bedroom. Stolas remembers it well. After all…

He was so excited! It's not often that he can convince Blitz to arrive early. For the occasion, the imp even used the front door rather than climbing his balcony. Stolas was still in his royal attire, for he had finished his work a bit later than expected, but he had still rushed to the entrance to welcome Blitz. Oh they were going to spend such a great night together, Stolas had it all planned out!

Since it was so early and they had the palace for themselves, Stolas invited Blitz into the kitchen, offering him coffee. The imp seemed tired from his day, he was a bit gloomy, but no more than usual. The prince offered to let him rest for a bit, just the time for him to take care of his duties, then they would be free to have fun for the night. Again, Blitz, wasn't exactly enthusiastic, despite accepting to come early, saying he had nothing better to do.

Still, Stolas was true to his word, and made quick work of his use of the grimoire, returning it to his bedroom through a portal before going to meet Blitz, since he knew they would go there eventually. But not immediately, the owl had other plans.

The assassin had finished his coffee by the time he returned, so Stolas suggested he follow him and, in the corridor, he couldn't resist. The light was great, and they both had their work outfit, in his home, it wasn't often! So he took out his phone and flashed a picture, still grinning widely in excitement, hoping Blitz would finally get in the mood too, but he looked even more dejected as Stolas prepared his phone for the picture.

"Come on darling, we have to celebrate being able to start so early! And look, with the plants behind, doesn't we look even better?"

He didn't linger on Blitz's expression by his side. Even when the imp wasn't sulking in his presence, his expression always got worse when the prince showed any intention to take a picture.

It… It's hard not to see Blitz's expression for what it is now, Stolas realizes that. Blitz didn't truly want to be there. He gave up because Stolas insisted, because he had to give the book back, because… Did someone suddenly cancel up on him that day? The owl doesn't think so, at least he doesn't remember. They discussed it beforehand, it was planned, yet Blitz really looked unhappy. If it wasn't because of his day, and the assassin had told him the work wasn't bad, it only left one explanation. An explanation Stolas has been to blind to see back then.

It doesn't get any better with the next picture.

It was a bit later in the evening. They had both switched their clothes for more comfortable ones, Blitz using the few outfits he left in the palace for when he stayed over, because yes, however scarce, it still happened sometimes. They had settled in front of the TV, snacks in front of them, and they were already one movie in when Stolas suddenly decided it would be a good idea to snap another picture, this time just of his imp. Blitz has been into the movie earlier, he was sure, but as was Stolas. Now, as they were beginning a new movie, the imp only looked bored, never mind if he realized he was being photographed or not.

Stolas pauses. He remembers the two movies they watched before switching to the bedroom for what the deal really entails, and he was sure Blitz enjoyed himself in front of the movies too, but the picture isn't capturing that at all. Is he making up things? Once again, the owl thinks back to Blitz's words, accusing him of only caring for sex, but what more can the Goetia do when every attempt to make Blitz comes over for something else than sex is so difficult, and the imp doesn't seem to appreciate these times at all? Yet, Stolas is sure Blitz laughed in front of these movies. Besides, even if he didn't, maybe they were just bad, it happens…

He ignores the picture he took of the horse Blitz drew after the last movie, that had horses in it, to directly go to the last he saved from this evening. Actually, this one is from the morning after.

Like the two previous ones, the last picture isn't showing a happy imp at all.

The sex had been great that night, as usual. No new toys, but it was alright, they didn't need to try new things each time, and it didn't mean they couldn't be creative with what they had. In fact, it was so good, and they were so exhausted once they were done, that Blitz fell asleep with Stolas without the owl even needing to ask him to stay for once.

It felt even better when he woke up and Blitz was still there. Granted, Stolas woke up earlier than usual, but it was still a win to him! He set up everything for Blitz to stay to share breakfast with him, and to his surprise, the imp accepted. The week wasn't over, so he had to go back to work quickly, but it was still so very rare, that when they both returned to Stolas' bedroom so Blitz could take back the grimoire, the owl couldn't resist a last picture for the occasion, showering the imp in praise and thanks for staying the night unprompted.

"Really, it was such a nice surprise to see you still there when I woke up!" Stolas smiled as they ventured inside, near the already made bed so Blitz could check that he didn't forget anything. "I'm so glad you accepted to eat breakfast with me, it was delightful, thank you darling, truly! I hope you enjoyed our time together?"

"Yeah, 't was okay I guess", he mumbled, looking over both sides of the bed before he started to look toward the grimoire. "Well, I better get going or I'll be late."

"Wait Blitzy! Before that, let me take a picture. The morning light suits you so well! Look at that, my little imp who couldn't help but stay the night with me. You're not gonna miss me too much until next time, are you? You can still drop by if you do, you know!"

Stolas had patted the imp's tattoo on his forehead as he snapped the picture, but Blitz quickly swatted his hand away, looking more and more annoyed.

"Yeah yeah, now if you're finished, unlike some, I gotta go to work! Now hand me the fucking book so I can get going."

Stolas didn't mind the harsh tone, it was how his Blitzy was after all. Giggling, the owl attracted the book to him with his magic before handing it to Blitz.

"Here Blitzy. Take care of it, and of you on your job. See you next…"

"Yeah, thanks, bye!" Blitz cut him before he could continue or worse, lean for a goodbye kiss, rushing out by the balcony to get to his van as fast as possible.

Stolas simply watched him go with a smile. Blitz was so dedicated to his company, and his employees and daughter of course, it was admirable, truly! Humming, the prince returned inside, ready for another day.

How could have the prince not noticed how Blitz was hugging himself there, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but with him that instant? Like if he only accepted to stay for breakfast because he knew he wouldn't have time to eat otherwise, or maybe simply because he knew the owl would ask until he gave up.

These are only a selection, but even when Stolas scrolls to older pictures, all the ones featuring Blitz are the same. Maybe if he could snap one during sex, he'd finally be able to catch a devilish smile, but Stolas is usually quite distracted during those times, too distracted in fact to take a picture, even with his magic. Even if he had such a picture, what would it truly mean? Simply that Blitz only cares to put up a front for sex, because that's the only way for him to get the book. Because that's what it's always been about as adults, isn't it?

The more he thinks about it, the more he finds himself doubting if he even truly saw Blitz happy while in his presence, or if he's making that up too. Distracted, Stolas opens Sinstagram without really thinking, going on Blitz's profile by sheer habit to see if the imp had posted anything.

Stolas immediately freezes over the pictures he finds there. Not many new pictures since the last time he checked, and nothing since Ozzie's, but almost everything here that features Blitz shows him smiling. A true, sincere, genuine smile, be it in his selfies or when he's with daughter and employees. Even when he's not smiling, it's for a puzzled or concentrated expression, not annoyance.

The prince knows, even without needing to scroll down all the pictures on his phone and both their Sinstagram accounts, that there is not a single picture where Blitz smiles that way while he's in the frame with him. At best, he has one where the imp looks lovingly at horse related stuff with a silly expression, but that's all.

That's when the realization truly hits Stolas. The only moment he can think of, he has a tangible proof of, of Blitz smiling in his presence, is when he's smiling at his passion, forgetting completely about Stolas' presence. All the moments Stolas remember Blitz smiling to him, he's not sure anymore if he made these up or if Blitz is faking for the sake of getting the book.

It's not that Stolas wasn't clear enough in wanting something more. The attention he always gave Blitz on Sinstagram, his offers to come over for a movie, inviting him along with his daughter and employees to a festival… It's not just about sex, isn't it? Not on his part at least.

But Blitz never wants that. Even the sex, he seems to barely tolerate, if his reactions to Stolas' flirting are true and not just his brash persona. Stolas was so sure he liked it too, that it was pleasurable for the both of them… But now, he's not so certain anymore.

So, his choice his made. Head snapping up, Stolas locks his phone and put it back in his pocket before closing the page on Asmodean crystals and putting the book back on his shelf, before walking with a resolute pace to his study.

There's no escaping it now. He'll have to word things so Blitz has a choice to come for the next full moon rather than it being an obligation. He won't insist anymore either, to see if Blitz would still come out of free will this time. That is, until he can finally get his hands on a mean for Blitz to do his work without him.

This whole farce went on for too long. If Blitz truly is spending time with Stolas only out of obligation, then… The prince ought to set him free. So that is what he's going to do, starting by booking an appointment with Asmodeus right now.

Whatever it might cost him. No matter that he's about to loose such an important part of his life. He needs to set it right. They both deserve better than lies. Both him, and Blitz.

13/09/2024

I'm preparing another story for another event but I'll have to post it only on AO3 because of ffnet's rules, so see you next for Selfless' update, and don't worry, there's another event coming that I'll be able to post here ;)