Severus knew tackling Harry's nightmares would be a challenge, but even he was not ready for just how intense they got. It had been five days since Harry and Severus talked, and agreed it was time for Harry to work through his depression to heal and cope better to move on from his past. Severus felt, before anything else, they needed to fix Harry's ability to sleep properly.
So the last five days involved Harry trying to get through his nights without any kind of potions, this was also to get him unaddicted from them. Severus would observe as Harry tried, but just couldn't fall asleep until late. Or he'd fall asleep pretty early, but be plagued with nightmares throughout the night. Harry would toss, turn, or even thrash around violently and this was accompanied with the teenager whimpering, crying, and screaming.
Severus had used Legilimency while Harry went through it, to see what he was seeing and it was what Severus expected. All the years with the Dursleys. The abuse, molestation, being raped, starved. Other nightmares were of past visions Harry had because of Voldemort, then some of the frightening times with Sirius.
Harry had nightmares about the times he fought Voldemort, the Basilisk, the tournament, what happened with Umbridge. Yes, it was bad and Severus had noticed that Harry usually couldn't wake up on his own for some, so he'd do the honors and it resulted in Harry thinking he was still in the fights, trying to protect himself.
Harry was always sweating and breathing hard once he calmed, or he'd cry. There were times Harry during the first few days, begged Severus to give him something and Severus had to refuse him. It defeated the purpose of purging it from his system so they could have a clean baseline of what to work with and make monitoring it easier so Harry wouldn't get readdicted.
Severus would only hold Harry, trying to console him naturally. Then it would be back to Harry trying to return to sleep on his own, but if he couldn't; he just stayed awake. Severus believed he had enough to start working out a way to fix Harry's sleep issues. Severus promised Harry could start staying with him in the master room starting Monday. Which was tomorrow.
During the day, Harry obviously struggled with lack of sleep, but Severus had him eating three meals a day with proper portions. They were starting smaller than normal, but that's because Harry admitted that trying to eat all of what Severus first gave him during dinner that night after they talked made him feel sick.
Severus understood that years of abuse on Harry's body, both from being beaten and being starved affected him eating, a long term problem needed long term fixing. Severus had now gone all out with getting all of Harry's information to set him on the right track to being healthy. Severus did alert everyone that Harry was awake, and understood what he did wrong and wanted to get help to heal. Harry didn't talk to any of them, but of course, Severus was told by all who inquired that they were for Harry.
Today was Easter Sunday, and the Malfoy's invited everyone over to spend time together. Surprisingly, it had been Lucius's idea to invite Sirius, Remus, and the Weasley's, along with Hermione, Neville, and Luna. A couple of extras were Dean, Seamus, Angelina Johnson, Hannah Abbot, and Alicia Spinnet. Angelina and Alicia had graduated last year, but they were involved with Fred and George Weasley romantically. Neville was quite smitten with Hannah.
Ginny wasn't with anyone, she more than understood she had no chance with Harry, though. Seamus and Dean seemed like they had a thing going on, but no one knew for sure. Blaise and Pansy were close, but there was no telling if they'd get together or not. Harry knew Blaise was bisexual. So was Draco, but the man wasn't interested in anyone right now.
The same could be said for Theodore, Gregory, and Vincent. They were all straight, but not into anyone. The time was about 2:00 pm while Severus and Harry were preparing to go over to Malfoy Manor, it would be the first time anyone saw Harry since that day in the chamber.
Harry didn't know everyone would be there, but Severus did because Lucius asked if it was a good idea. It wasn't just a large group of friends, but also parents of the students. Severus knew that some of them were in Voldemort's Death Eater group. They had to be careful. Lucius assured he took care of it.
"Harry!" Severus called. "Are you ready to go to the Malfoys?"
"I guess…" Harry said as he came down the stairs, adjusting his bag strap over his shoulder and then Ivy moved from his arm to around his neck again. "Let's go."
Severus led Harry outside to the alleyway next to his house and then apparated to Malfoy Manor, right inside the gate and close to the front door. It really didn't take long for the doors to open, though, and reveal the large group of students with their parents. Harry felt nervousness and shame bubble within him, and he stopped walking with Severus as they had been going towards the doors to greet everyone.
"Harry?" Severus asked. "Why'd you stop, come on…" Harry stayed put.
"Why did they stop?" Draco asked his parents.
"I think Harry's feeling a little nervous about being around everyone," Remus offered. "Severus told us he informed Harry that we were all with him when Harry was found."
"Harry might be feeling some shame about being found in such a vulnerable state," Hermione frowned. "He thinks we're gonna judge him."
"Harry, it's alright. No one here is going to hurt you, I promise. And have I ever let you down?" Severus reminded.
"No, but…Do we have to?..." Harry muttered. "I-I can just go back home and sit with Ivy, read or something…Sleep maybe."
"Why don't you want to go?" Severus inquired. "Easter is a good holiday to get together with family. And I know they are not actually family, but…Lucius is like an older brother to me, and Draco is my godson, basically my nephew. And Draco sees you like a brother too. Narcissa is everyone's mother bear."
"I believe Lucius invited Remus and Sirius too, and I know you love them as family." He paused. "Besides, you know I'm not leaving you alone right now and we both know you won't sleep. And I don't want you going through them with me not present to help you out or through."
"I'm tired, Sev…" Harry sighed. "It's been a long week."
It was believable enough, Severus knew it had been a rough week for Harry with getting those potions out of his system and the struggles of eating and sleeping right. Still, Harry couldn't just keep himself locked away from others and that's what he was doing. Maybe not distancing from Severus, but everyone else. Severus walked back to Harry's side, lifting his chin up so their eyes would meet.
"Harry, what's wrong?" Severus asked. "Come on, talk to me. We agreed you would when something is bothering you and I can tell there is. You're nervous, and hesitant."
"I'm tired, Sev." Harry repeated.
"And…?" Severus pushed.
"I just don't want to see anyone yet, especially Sirius…" Harry muttered.
"Harry, you can't hide away from everyone. It defeats the purpose of healing if you hide yourself." Severus stated. "Come on, it'll be a good time." He offered his hand. "We go together and face it. You're not alone and no one is going to think differently of you."
"Everyone is upset with me, for shutting them out and doing what I did…" Harry revealed.
"No one is upset with you about what happened." Severus assured. "Harry, I'm the only one who was disappointed in you and upset that you didn't come talk to me. But the rest, they just want to see you and know you're okay."
"I'm going to see him." Sirius tried to step forward. Remus put his arm out.
"No, Sirius. You need to let Harry come to you, and right now is not the time to be pushing him." Remus told his friend. "This hesitation and fear he's displaying, it just goes to show how delicate he is. Severus can handle it, you just need to be patient. If you ever want him to forgive you, Sirius…This is how you start earning it back." Sirius nodded and sighed.
"Then they shouldn't see me because I'm not okay." The teenager reminded his husband. "If I were okay, what happened wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have-," He stopped.
"Go on…" Severus urged.
"I wouldn't have gotten weak, and cowardly. I'm supposed to be the one who defeats the dark lord, protects everyone…How am I supposed to do that when I can't even protect myself from me. I'm over here calling Voldemort a coward for running and hiding from battle…I'm doing the same thing. Killing yourself is the coward's way out." Harry confessed.
"Harry, you are not weak. And you are not a coward." Severus remarked firmly. "You had a moment of weakness, yes. But we all do. We're only human and no one is perfect. Everyone has struggles, and everyone has weak points that take them to their knees. To rock bottom. You are not the first to consider suicide to escape the pain, Harry, and you won't be the last either." He said. "Do you know what sets you apart from those who do end their lives, Harry?" The teenager looked at him.
"It's the fact you didn't do it. You may have thought about it many times, made elaborate plans on how to do it, but you've never gone through with it. You've realized you didn't want to end your life, just the pain you feel. Harry, when you're at the bottom and you feel like there's no escape…I want you to remember this," He paused. "When you're at the bottom, there's only one way out. Up. You stand up, you break the chains holding you down. You fight back. You rise, Harry."
"Yes, they all know you're not okay…But they know you will be because we're all here and we're not going to let you give up. We won't let you fall. We're here to help you fight." Severus told him. "You have always fought back in the face of death. You stood before it and said not today." He added. "Because you, Harry Potter-Snape, are a survivor and there is nothing you can't do. You are the one who makes impossible, entirely possible."
"No one is angry or upset with you, Harry. All they want is to be here for you, so let them." Severus offered his hand again. "Come on." Harry took Severus's hand and their fingers intertwined. Severus gave Harry a gentle smile and then he pulled Harry to walk with him as they got to the house and the adults made sure to move the kids aside so they didn't crowd Harry.
. . .
The get together was going well, everyone mingling nicely and chatting. Harry was still pretty quiet, and Severus was keeping a close watch on him. Ivy was around Harry's neck, a little larger than before; she appeared around the size of a Ball Python now. Harry must have told her it was okay since everyone knew about her now. Severus had told Harry on one of the last five days who knew about Sal's portrait and Ivy, but not that she was a Basilisk. But people knew Harry was her master as Lord Slytherin, basically a familiar, like Hedwig was.
No one seemed to mind and felt that she was offering Harry some kind of comfort. No one brought up what happened a week ago, trying to keep it light and normal as if it hadn't happened. This was something Draco had told everyone, without going into so many details to those who hadn't been part of finding Harry that his depression was acting up harder than ever before, so best to watch themselves around him because there was no telling what might trigger him. Draco only said that Severus was working with Harry, and all they could do was try to be there for him without being overbearing.
For everything else, not much was being said about Harry because of the nervousness of the extra Death Eaters in the room. It wasn't forbidden knowledge that Gregory's, Vincent's, and Theodore's fathers were Death Eaters, right along with Lucius and Severus, who was actually a spy for the Order. Blaise's mother, Lydia, was not a Death Eater, neither were the Parkinson's, Sorrel and Althea, or the wives to Francis Crabbe, Gregory Goyle Sr. Those wives were Lorena Crabbe and Viola Goyle. Theodore Jr. lost his mother, she died.
To keep confusion down between the fathers and sons, the friends referred to Gregory as Greg and Theodore as Theo. However, Lucius made them swear on their magic, that they would never use anything they learned about Harry against him by telling Voldemort. The three males didn't put up a fight about making this promise because as Harry told Severus, not all the Death Eaters wanted to stay loyal to Voldemort and they just didn't have a safe way to leave him.
Right now, Harry was sitting at the table next to Severus, eating quietly. Harry also had a notebook out, jotting things down with a pencil. Severus already explained that Harry preferred it to the ink, quill, and parchment because the pencil let him erase and redo things. Of course, Severus hadn't the faintest idea what Harry was working on, it looked like a web or diagram.
Severus hadn't yet asked, but he assumed it was keeping Harry distracted from thinking about the depression, and Severus wouldn't make a fuss about that. In fact, it was a good thing. Harry needed hobbies, things that made him happy to do and those could be turned into positive coping habits to counter the depression. The rest of the friends had finished eating and gone back to the middle of the Malfoy Manor ballroom to enjoy the music and talking.
"Isn't there anything we can do?" Ginny inquired to the others.
"No, Ginny…I don't think there is." Ron said. "Harry's gone through a lot in his lifetime and that means there is a lot to work through."
"We have to give him his space, while also making sure he knows we're here for him." Hermione informed.
"Something bad happened, didn't it?" Dean asked. "Something you're not telling us…"
"It's not up to us to tell you. We only know because we were with Harry when it happened." Blaise remarked.
"Let's leave it at everything piling up and overwhelming Harry, and he couldn't handle it, so he broke down." Draco stated.
"Harry is like, the strongest person we know…Through all he's been through. Why now would it overwhelm and break him?" Seamus questioned.
"Because he's still just a teenager, and human…Everyone has a breaking point, and Harry, sadly, has been through more trauma in his life that he finally hit his." Hermione mentioned. "Harry has always held together very well, but I can't imagine that it was easy to put on a mask for everyone to believe he was okay when the weight of the past kept him from moving on. Harry carries far more than any of us."
"Harry was always telling us in the army that we couldn't lose hope, or faith…That everything would be alright." Angelina said.
"I don't see how someone so…Positive could have-," Hannah stopped.
"We need to stop talking like Harry killed himself and is gone. This is a party, not his funeral reception…And he's right over there." Draco commented. "But what Hermione said isn't wrong. Harry has been suffering for years, and he hid the depression very well from everyone…Until fourth year, when I caught him at a point where he couldn't take it anymore." He added. "It's no secret to anyone anymore, so even if he puts on a mask…We know what's beneath."
"Well, I don't see a mask anymore, he's just…Miserable." Alicia mentioned. "The only times I saw him happy was playing Quidditch, or just flying on his broom."
"During the army too." Luna nodded.
"Hey, you've got some brooms here, right, Draco? What if we…Tried to take him flying? Mock match or something?" Ron suggested.
"I don't think it would work, Harry hasn't played Quidditch since he got resorted to Slytherin." Pansy shrugged. "Good idea, though."
"Well, maybe that's what we have to do. Find things he likes to do and try to engage him…I've heard that helps people with depression." Fred said.
"Me too." George nodded. "It gives them positive coping mechanisms, or distractions."
"I think that's part of what Professor Snape is attempting to do, but it still has to be approached slowly." Theodore Jr. remarked.
"Say, what is the thing with Harry and Professor Snape. I thought they hated one another," Angelina inquired.
"Not a word to anyone outside of this room, understood?" Draco stated as those who didn't know nodded. "They're married and bonded."
"Oh, my God, what?"
"It's true," Draco informed. "Happened right here at the manor, there in the backyard. I was a witness, though legally, it was my parents who signed the certificate. They got married August 2nd, last year."
"And…Why exactly?" Hannah wondered.
"Apparently, Sirius did something to hurt Harry and he needed a way to get out from needing a guardian as an underage student." Gregory Jr. stated. "So they got married and bonded because it emancipated Harry as an adult."
"Wow, that's crazy." Dean commented. "And Snape just agreed to it?"
"To protect Harry, as he's always done and always will…" Hermione nodded. "They make a good couple, actually…Balance one another out and right now, Professor Snape seems to be the only one who can get through to Harry. Earlier when they arrived as an example."
"We'll figure out a way to help Harry in our own way…Maybe he just needs some reminding to have faith and hope?" Ron remarked.
"Ronald…You're a genius. I think I just figured out what we can do…" Hermione beamed.
The students blinked a few times, wondering what brilliant idea Ron had given Hermione that was going to help Harry feel better. Or just a little better. There was no telling, but Hermione seemed quite confident this would work. Whatever this was.