Author's notes: I liiiiiiiive! This chapter is kind of slow, but it marks an important transition in Tsume's life and in history in general, which was hinted at in Delta Years, Chapter Nine:
Hiashi banged his fists against his chair arms. "And you want to send this simpleton on such a delicate mission? She'd probably forget her mission parameters, and then my brother's death will be wasted when Kumo declares war against us! It was her sensei that caused the last war, and all because she wandered off in the first place!"
Tsume twitched defensively. "Hey! Sakumo had a lot of help from other countries when it came to starting a war!" Wandered off like she was lost in market, or chasing down a runaway four year old Kakashi who got himself kidnapped for Kiri's Academy – Hiashi probably would think the difference was just nit-picking.
o-o-o
o-o-o-o
o-o-o-o-o
"Here, puppy. Here puppy, puppy, puppy." The Fire Daimyo, dressed in fine yellow silks and his blue-black hair slicked back with perfumed jasmine oil, patted his knee with one hand as he extended the other hand – with cotton candy – to Ichi.
Behind him, Hose at her heels, Hiji gave the Daimyo the stink eye. So did Ichi.
"Uh, Daimyo-sama," Tsume wasn't sure how to address the man, or if speaking directly to the Daimyo would get her executed and hoped that Uta – who stood a little further away and was speaking to Danzo in a low whisper – had normalized blunt Konoha kunoichi, "cotton candy will make Ichi sick, and also, he's a trained ninken who would probably off rip your arm. For your own health and safety, you should keep your hand to yourself." She still had the long, pale scars that swept up and down her arm from Ichi's teeth, when he had latched onto her flesh as they plummeted down a ravine, and that was just from Ichi trying to save her. Ichi was well-experienced in tearing out the throats of enemies or anyone who has ever threatened her.
The Fire Daimyo straightened from his crouch to consider Tsume in her leathers. His eyes lingered on her chest, with the crisscrossed straps. Tsume glanced down and saw that they weren't quite covering her nipples. Oh well – to adjust them now would make it obvious. "Is this the traditional Inuzuka garb?" the Daimyo asked Hiji, who quickly wiped away her stink-eye as he glanced at her over his shoulder. "It is quite revealing. I like it! Do you suppose anyone would have the audacity to complain to my face if I made it the new Fire Guardian uniform?"
The Fire Daimyo wasn't supposed to be the Fire Daimyo; Yoiyama was the second son and the third in line. His brother was killed in the attack near the Capital in the Second Ninja World War while on a training expedition with some samurai, which prompted their father to call the Hokage and other ninja to the Capital for additional protection. His sister, second in line to the throne, became pregnant and eloped with a commoner, prompting their father to disavow her and her offspring until the end of time. Yoiyama was originally a scholar – an entomologist, he still called himself – who didn't receive the thorough training in politics that his brother had, or the correct courtly manners t hat his sister had. He was like an unfinished diamond – rough around the edges, and desperately in need of some clean up and precise cutting to bring out regal polish and shine that was expected for someone of his ilk.
Yoiyama turned to Hiji. "You know, I don't have to require any of you to wear the uniform of the Fire Guardian. I can command you all to wear something else." As he spoke, Minato – wearing the close-fitted silks required for his trapeze and wire-walking performance, smoothly slid in next to Tsume, almost as if presenting himself as an entirely different target for the Fire Daimyo's curiosity.
Hiji's expression turned sour. "It will be a such a shame that I and Hose come down with a terrible head cold the next time the Godo clan attempts to poison Yoiyama-heika's beehives." With Yoiyama's back turned, Tsume quickly adjusted her chest straps, ignoring that Minato was able to see her do it – he'd seen everything she had to offer already, even if she had been covered with welts and paste at the time. And honestly, her nipples weren't much larger than his, in her own quiet opinion. (Or her boobs. She really needed to figure out how to grow her cup size, and fast!)
Yoiyama gasped and squeaked. "You wouldn't! You leave my bees out of this!" He smelled genuinely distressed. "They are gentle, hardworking souls who don't deserve to be a causality in your pettiness."
Then he turned back to Tsume, dismissing Minato in a flicker of his gaze. He studied her chest for a long moment with narrowed eyes. Slowly and deliberately, he reached out with both hands. He hooked his fingers under the leather chest straps at the level of Tsume's collar bone, and followed the length of the straps downward, knuckles dragging against her skin, over her breasts and nipples, and down to where the straps crossed over her bellybutton. So much for trying to adjust them… She smelled the slow flare of the Fire Daimyo's desire and felt her skin tingle. He lifted his gaze from his hands to meet her eyes – there was something calculating and sinister in his eyes that hadn't been openly displayed prior to his touch. She smelled a spike of Minato's surprise as Danzo immediately shunshinned to stand behind Tsume.
The Fire Daimyo ignored Danzo. "This is very primitive leather work," he said, his voice low and husky. He dragged his hands upward, deliberately stilling movement when his hands rested directly against her nipples.
"Uh, it's over a hundred years old," Tsume replied, her mind working rapidly. Was it appropriate to kick the Daimyo in the knee? Should she ignore this forwardness? Would the Hokage allow the Daimyo to touch an underage kunoichi in such a manner? Should she grope his lordship's penis in a show of dominance? Jiraiya had warned her that men were unlikely to realize that humping was a sign of dominance, so sticking her hand down the trousers being worn by leader of the Country of Fire probably wouldn't send the message she hoped for. "I think it was scraped and chewed to soften. We didn't tan it back then how we tan leathers, today."
A malicious smile twisted the Fire Daimyo's lips. He wasn't a handsome man – his face was too long, chin was too weak, and lips were too full. His eyes, though, were almost captivating in how clear and bright the steel-gray color was against his skin, tanned from lengthy outdoor beekeeping. He spread his fingers wide under the straps to fully cup her lackluster breasts. "I could order you into my bed, kunoichi." Across the clearing, body tensing in warning, she saw Sakumo curl into himself with a choking restraint as anger and outrage simmered.
Tsume quickly double-checked to make sure her siren seal was fully muted (yup – that hadn't changed since the whole Hot Springs Fiasco), because men just didn't lust after her, and then, half-indignant because maybe he thought she was just ugly enough to be desperate, "Just how rotten of a lover are you that you have to order women into your bed? Maybe you need a book, instead." And then, realizing that such might be construed as insulting rather than helpful, she quickly added, "I suppose I could give you some pointers. Does it have to be a hand's-on demonstration?"
The frozen silence that fell in the open air circus was so immediate, Tsume almost tapped her ears to make sure she hadn't suddenly gone deaf. The odor of fear flooded her surroundings, so thick that she wasn't able to immediately notice who wasn't feeling fearful – Uta just smelled annoyed. She heard Danzo's low growl, as if it was all he could do not to choke Tsume. The Fire Daimyo, on the other hand, didn't smell offended as his eyes lit up in delight at her irritation.
"You are a sassy one, aren't you?" The surrounding fear slowly shifted into wariness. Some people started to move. "How old are you?"
"Fourteen." Although she would be fifteen years old in August, so really, she was close enough.
"Bah." He removed his hands from her chest and patted them together, as if removing the sensation of her skin from his fingers. "Too young for me, then, even if you aren't an unsullied maiden. Hard to tell under all that dirt, you know." Then his head swiveled around as Mikoto, wearing her costume, dashed past the clearing to where her entrance was supposed to take place. "Oooooh, that's even better than the traditional Inuzuka garb!" He gathered up the train of his silks and pranced across the elephant-trampled clearing. Uta gracefully trailed after him without even sparing a glance towards Minato and Tsume.
Minato's lips barely moved as he whispered. "He's a dangerous man. Don't challenge him, Tsume."
Tsume thought the Hokage, Danzo, Sakumo, Tsunade, Aunt Natsumi, even Daisuke (may his soul rot in hell, consumed every day by hell hounds) and other ninja that she had met in her lifetime, whom she knew and recognized were dangerous. The Fire Daimyo was little more than a civilian – if he had any training or skills, it would've been taught by the samurai in the upper ranks of the Palace Guards. His chakra levels were greater than a civilian's, much like a low-level samurai or an advanced genin, but less than any of her ninken. She couldn't understand how this man was dangerous. She certainly hoped he wouldn't try groping Uchiha Mikoto the same way he had her, because if Mikoto didn't immolate the man's ass, her fiancé's little brothers would. "Why does Konoha even need to kowtow to the Fire Daimyo?" she asked.
Danzo slapped a hand over her mouth – her skin stung as his anger and fear collided. "Are you trying to get us killed?" he hissed low in her ear as his dark scent coiled.
Too late.
Uta materialized in front of them, the full force of her killing intent unleashed. Minato stumbled back a step before he could brace himself. Danzo's grip across her face tightened into a half-fist, fingers sinking deep into her flesh. There was a high-pitched yelp as Sakumo, Yuu, and Orochimaru immediately tackled Aunt Natsumi to keep her from pouncing on Uta. "Konoha standards have fallen greatly," Uta snarled, her chakra spreading through the earth below Tsume's feet like a thin sheet of ice forming just beneath the surface of a pond, "and rot has infested her ranks when a green-horned genin speaks so easily of betrayal."
Danzo growled again, but was saved from having to answer as Hiji threw herself at Uta's feet, groveling.
"Forgive my clanswoman!" Hiji cried, hands flat on the ground, voice muffled as she pressed her forehead into the ground. "Tsume-san always speaks without thinking, but her loyalty is without question! She is brain-injured, though, from when she was six years old! She has no sense of fear and no sense of self-preservation and only remembers half of what she's told! Please forgive her!"
"Half would be generous," Danzo spit out. He forced Tsume to briefly bow in submission, pressing his knee against the small of her back until she bent her spine. "I assure you, Senju-san, the only thing that's infiltrated our ranks is a simpleton."
Uta's killing intent remained unchanged. She kicked Hiji to the side, not even sparing Hose a glance. She ignored the other ninken, who crouched low and growled, their hackles flared and their teeth bared. Uta pointedly reached out to touch the carotid artery at Tsume's neck, just as Danzo had the first time he unleashed his killing intent. Uta frowned at the slow, steady pulse.
"A fearless simpleton is dangerous," Uta said, her hand dropping away. "She's dangerous to herself, and worse yet, dangerous to her comrades and allies. Send her home and dismiss her permanently from the ranks. She is not fit to be a kunoichi." She turned away from them in clear dismissal.
Tsume felt her heart sink as Danzo's fingers sunk even further, as if he was readying to tear her mouth away from her skull. "It shall be done, Senju-san." He released his grip from Tsume, and his next words made her blood run cold. "Go pack your bags, now, Inuzuka."
And then Aunt Natsumi, one hand finally free from the pile of shinobi, flashed one-handed through a series of seals so she could drop a summoned whale on Uta.
oOoOoOo
"This is magnificent!" the Fire Daimyo declared as he inspected the rather dismayed-looking orca. Most of the performers were busy putting the flattened circus back together for the now-delayed show. "I love the combination of black and white. It very much reminds me of my leafcutter bees." He fluttered up and down the length of the orca's tail, waving his hands in excitement as he prattled to Koyama, who desperately looked like he wanted to be far, far away from here. "This is truly a magnificent beast. You know, open water absolutely terrifies me, so I always declined the opportunity to go whale watching whenever my sister and brother would vacation down by the sea. I never thought I would have the privilege of seeing a whale so up close and personal. It is truly the size of a monster, isn't it?" He stopped next to the whale's small eye, and cupped both hands around his mouth. "Tell me, WHAT IS YOUR DIET?" he yelled at the orca, as if it was mostly deaf.
"Uh, moose and seals," the whale replied, its low voice causing the leaves on the surrounding trees to quiver. "Look, why am I even here?"
The Fire Daimyo turned to Enkan, who stood off to the side and twirled one end of his mustache as he observed everything with a benign expression. "I thought the elephants were such grand creatures, but this? This is extraordinary! I had no idea you had a whale in your circus!" He then patted the whale, and went back to marveling over the texture of its skin.
The whale looked around for Aunt Natsumi. "Can I go home yet?"
Uta, her hair knocked loose from the crown, leaving the long braids to hang loose, her face smudged with dirt and discolored from a quickly-forming bruise, stood off to the side and glowered daggers as Orochimaru, with far too much glee, administered another sedative to Aunt Natsumi.
oOoOoOo
Tsume's gut burned and swam with shame. The back of her eyes stung as she hid herself away in the small tent that she shared with Kushina and Sakumo. It was even more crowded because her ninken surrounded her, pressing against all sides. The combined heat left over from the day as well as five heavily-furred large dogs was smothering – Korumaru lay across her lap, licking her hand and languidly thumping his tail. Her leather backpack lay open beside her. The only thing she had stuck in it so far were the Sarutobi ropes, since she decided that she was going to keep them and not share with Kushina and Mikoto, after all.
Tsume felt like a failure. It was an old, familiar feeling, one that made her occasionally look up just to see if she could catch a glimpse of Grandmother's lurking shadow, looming ever so much like an endless void.
The performance was in full swing, now that the whale had decided it had enough of being ogled and had dismissed itself. Danzo had custom-tailored his introductions specifically to the Fire Daimyo, who smelled delighted with everything he saw. Senju Uta, however, remained the same – foreboding, watchful, aggressively angry, and slightly sore. There was a combination of lingering fear, impatience, and irritation from her fellow Konoha nin. Kushina smelled of fear and regret. Sakumo smelled disappointed and sad, even as he skillfully threw the knives at Kushina. Danzo's odor consisted mainly of barely-restrained rage and fear. Enkan… Enkan was just outside of her tent, and only smelled bored.
He rapped against the silk. "May I come in?" He didn't wait for Tsume to grant permission, as he crouched down, swept the opening wide, and crawled in. "I promise I'm not here to sully your maidenly reputation. I very much prefer those who are closer to my age and of a, hmmm, more masculine persuasion." Tsume hunched in on herself and mumbled. "What was that?"
In a voice that was only slightly less muffled, Tsume said, "I'm not a maiden." She wanted to draw her knees up, but she wasn't wearing underwear, and the leather girdle was too short to get away with it. "Not since what happened during the Second Shinobi War." Her voice cracked. "I was twelve." She didn't have any more virtue worth defending than intelligence, it seemed. She really was nothing more than a meatsuit, suitable only as a fleshy shield for her betters. Maybe she should've seduced the Daiyomo. It certainly would've been less of a political nightmare.
Enkan grew flustered. "Ah – battlefield… I see. I had thought your lack of reaction to the Fire Daimyo's public grope was due to your inability to feel fear. I realize now that it probably feels like nothing compared to what happened in your past, much like how a paper cut is nothing when compared to a kunai into the gut." He looked at her half-empty leather knapsack. "You must realize, that by the order of the Leader of the Fire Guardians, you are being dismissed from this circus and are to return to Konoha."
Tsume wondered if clawing off her own skin would help her escape the continuous burn of shame. "Yeah. I'm not… I was going to say that I'm not stupid, but that would be wrong, after what just happened."
Enkan shook his head. "You aren't stupid. You were just too comfortable, girl. Oh, it's not your fault. It's incredibly easy to feel comfortable when you lack any decent self-preservation. You were comfortable with your role as a wild child, here at the circus. You were comfortable with the Fire Daimyo because of how casual he is with his Guardians and, quite frankly, completely unthreatened even with how handsy he was with you and we adults stood by and cowardly chose to remain silent instead of speaking up on your behalf. Complacency is the death of many a powerful, skilled ninja, and I'm not sure how such could be prevented with your particular brain injury."
Tsume twiddled her thumbs, trying to concentrate on what Enkan was saying. He rarely spoke to her one-on-one, before. Gosh, he didn't even bother speaking to her at all, once they left Konoha. He seemed quite content ignoring her, showering his attention instead on the stars of his circus. She sensed that it was a rare privilege for Enkan to independently seek someone out and provide what was apparently some friendly advice, and even more rare that he had set aside his flamboyant showmanship to give her serious consideration.
"I feel, in some ways, your Konoha companions have done you a great disfavor." Tsume opened her mouth to defend them, but was silenced when he slapped his hand over her mouth. At least it was mostly clean. "In my experience, people tend to live up – or down – to the expectations others have of them. Few people feel motivated to be greater than these expectations, unless they're motivated by spite. I wonder if your companions have deliberately provided you with less information simply because they expect that you won't understand, or can't remember."
Tsume shook her head. "No, never! Sakumo-sensei tells me everything that he tells Kushina-chan!"
"As far as Sakumo-san is concerned, that I do believe." Enkan nodded his head in agreement. Sweat was beginning to dot his forehead. He dabbed at it with his billowing white silk sleeve. "You asked why a Village of ninja recognize the leader of their country to be someone who, for all intents and purposes, is nothing more than a civilian. You don't perceive him to be powerful. I can appreciate your question more than your currently-present leadership does, so I feel that I am best suited to explain. I do not submit myself, or my clan, to Konoha, under the thumb of your Hokage. I do, however, allow myself to be subjugated to the Fire Daimyo. I won't ask you to think of why that is – I'll just explain it.
"You see, Tsume, power is more than who is the strongest, physically. Power is more than who can defeat their opponents with skill or jutsu. Power is knowledge. Power is knowing the right things to hold against all the right, and wrong, people. You know, as well as any other decent Konoha kunoichi, that secrets and subterfuge is how the weight of political power must balance. Yoiyama-heika is at the heart of political power and knowledge. He knows trade and market, he knows supplies and demand, he knows rules and laws, he knows the clandestine and hidden, both in his country, and in the other countries. Power is also loyalty, and for a variety of reasons, good or bad, we are loyal to him.
"He also has a great deal of money – Fire is a rich country that can afford her rather generous taxes. Not all the blackmail and black-market dealings are funneled through Konoha. The Fire Daimyo has a network of spies, thugs, gangs, ronin, and mercenaries. And that's not a secret, Tsume. No man can stand upon the summit of power without first creating the summit out of a mountain of bodies. The Fire Daimyo inherited his power, and all the knowledge, from his father, and his father's father, and his father's father's mother, and all the ancestors who have come before him, creating that summit. Konoha is only the most visible of his military, the sword that the world sees, in order to disguise the blades veiled by shadows. Fire is a very large country, in a much larger world, and Konoha is nothing more than a smudge on a map."
Enkan studied Tsume as she mulled over her words, chewing on the tip of her thumb. "I could've gotten us all killed, today," she whispered with dawning horror.
"In a roundabout way, perhaps. You might've been the nail for which a kingdom fell. Honestly, of Konoha nin present here, today, your Aunt Natsumi is the only one who could've matched Senju Uta. Danzo, Orochimaru, Sakumo, Jiraiya, and Yuu are the only Konoha nin present who can match the Fire Guardians, but there would be nineteen against your five team leaders. I'll be generous and say that Hiji wouldn't fight, given that you are her Clan Head, and I am inclined to believe that her Inuzuka-born loyalty to you would be greater than her loyalty to the Fire Daimyo – she would've been declared a traitor, and executed. In the midst of a great battle with lines drawn, at least one of the other guardians would've squirreled the Fire Daimyo away from the battlefield. So, realistically, it would be seventeen against five." Enkan clicked his tongue against his teeth. "The resulting blood bath would be immortalized in song forever. Konoha might survive it, of course, because its value as a military power would be too difficult to dismantle… for now. But the memory of the Fire Daimyo is as long as the family's unbroken line of descendants, and they would dismantle her piece by piece over three or four generations."
Tsume bit her thumb bloody. "I could've destroyed Konoha?"
"Oh, pish-posh. That assumption is just the height of arrogance. I'm sure that the Fire Daimyo would rebuild it to his liking, since he has to keep a Hidden Village somewhere to represent the Land of Fire. So long as there are other Hidden Villages, so must there be one in the Country of Fire, elsewise she would be weak prey to other countries."
Tsume glowered at him. "But that's what you implied."
"Oh, I do know that I implied such. I understand your sense of preservation is usually inclined only towards others because you're an alpha, so I wanted you to consider how your carelessness affects your companions. If you can't think of yourself, at least think of those poor saps.
"The truth is, you're too weak to be of any concern to Uta or the Fire Daimyo, even if you do head the infamous half-naked Inuzuka clan. Do you honestly believe that you're the first careless genin to wonder out loud why Konoha should kowtow? The Fire Daimyo would be a fool to kill all of the weak who question his power, since that just makes him look like a tyrannical dictator, and would only spur the powerful to displace him. Many a rebellion has been won on the back of the peasants that feel threatened by the ruling elites, and he makes sure that the lives of his peasants are too comfortable to incite riots. The only thing stronger than complacency is greed, so he walks a fine balance between giving just enough, and too much."
Tsume briefly thought about Kushina's outrage over the amount of taxes that went to paying for laundry. The job was generous to locals looking to make some quick, fairly easy, money. It also probably gave the Fire Daimyo the opportunity to mingle with the masses, if he ever chose to wander away from his beloved bees. And he seemed congenial enough… when not randomly molesting fourteen year old girls.
Enkan continued, not bothering to wait for Tsume's thoughts to catch up. "No, the person who would've toppled everything would be Aunt Natsumi. If she had gone after Uta, it would've caused the domino effect I just outlined to you. The Fire Guardians are sworn to the Fire Daimyo, their loyalty to him absolute, and must come before clan, family, and Konoha. If the Fire Daimyo directed any of them to assassinate the Hokage, they may very well do so if they can't talk him out of it, given that they're supposed to be his personal protection detail and not, you know, assassins. I'm almost convinced that half of their duty is to protect him from himself when it comes to stupid decisions, like that.
"So, in short, I think that's the closest I have ever seen death looming in the horizon, and that includes the time I had to wrestle with the Three-Tails." After a careful pause, Enkan added, "The whale was an impressive touch, and one I never predicted. I have begun to appreciate that perhaps not all the legends of your aunt's might is exaggerated. Tell me," his eyebrows rose high, "can she truly command the forces of hell?"
Tsume didn't have to wonder where that particular exaggerated legend might've come from. She briefly remembered Mifune-dono's excitement as seeing Inuzuka Natsumi in battle. "Well, I don't know about the full forces of hell, but she can summon gouka inugami. And she's actually used them to keep me safe." Or at least to track Tsume across the continent. And to go on the occasional picnic to romp with tigers and feast upon the unnatural fauna in the Forest of Death.
Enkan dabbed at the sweat that drenched his forehead, then turned and threw open the tent flaps to allow a cool breeze to filter through. "You know that you're being dismissed from my circus and sent back to Konoha, don't you?"
The shame returned in full-force. Tsume felt her face burn red as she thought of returning, alone, to Konoha, and what she would have to say to her sire. She nodded while fighting back tears. "Danzo said I had to ship off tomorrow morning."
"Here. I want you to read this and verify its origins. I'm sure your nose is that accurate; I was told that you were one of the best, and Danzo doesn't compliment anyone, that miserly bastard."
Tsume accepted the scroll that Enkan presented her. The paper was made specifically from Konoha's own paper mill; the handwriting was the Hokage's, and the ink had enough traces of sugar and tobacco smoke that she didn't even need to check the seal, which would light up with the Hokage's chakra signature if she touched it with her own chakra. It read: This directive allows Enkan full custody over the Konoha nin assigned to his circus, until the circus returns to Konoha's walls, or Enkan dies, so long as his custody doesn't betray Konoha or the Fire Daimyo. Tsume was an utter slouch when it came to politics, but even she could see just how much open-handed directive was also so powerful. No wonder Danzo had been absolutely livid to assigned to Enkan.
Tsume rolled up the scroll and handed it back. Enkan silently accepted it. "This means that it's up to you to dismiss me back to Konoha, not Uta."
"Exactly." Enkan tapped her arm with his scroll. "You are the best wild child act I've had in over a decade, and Uta is just a Fire Guardian. She can't command Konoha forces outside of the Grand Palace; she has the authority to commandeer any of you if you're close to the Capital – even over this directive – but only as far as protecting the Fire Daimyo is concerned. She has either forgotten her place, or she assumes too much liberty because of her position. The Fire Daimyo could strongly suggest to the Hokage that you're too inept to remain a kunoichi, but the Fire Daimyo cannot command the Hokage what to do with his shinobi forces. Yoiyama-sama isn't stupid. Only I, by order of the Hokage, may dismiss you from my circus. I can ever supersede Danzo, if I so desire." By the smell of it, Enkan did desire Danzo, who fit the bill for Enkan's preference for the much older and more masculine persuasion.
Tsume figured it was best not to tell Enkan that, from what she had seen and smelled in the last two years, Enkan was just too pretty for Danzo's preference. She didn't want to put him in a sour mood, after all, not when he was being kinda nice and explaining stuff to her. She couldn't hold back the hopeful smile that was spreading across her face. In response to her lightened heart, the ninken began wagging their tails.
"That being said, after your aunt nearly crushed the Fire Daimyo's Guardian leader with a rather large aquatic mammal, something will need to be done to appease them."
She emphatically nodded her head. "Yes sir."
Enkan waved his hands theatrically, even though he still held the scroll tightly in one hand. "I have no doubt that a Fire Guardian will be assigned to follow and watch, to verify and ensure that you do leave the circus and return to Konoha."
She continued nodding her head. "Yes, sir."
"We have another two hundred kilometers to go before we're past the boundaries of Fire. Until then, you will have to remain away from the circus."
"Yes, sir."
"You will have to – no, stop, please, stop nodding." He thumped her head with the scroll, not even bothering to go light with applied chakra. "Stop, please." He wagged the scroll in a scolding manner. "Your atrocious hair is distracting me."
Offended and her scalp stinging, Tsume held still and glowered at him as Ichi growled a low warning.
"If I wanted to hurt your mistress, I would've applied more chakra to that," Enkan told Ichi, this time wagging his scroll at Ichi. "Now, where was I? Ah, yes. So, you will need to circle around Fire, swinging towards Konoha, take a wide berth into Grass, before heading down to meet up with us in the Land of Rivers. This shouldn't be too difficult; you'll travel much faster on foot than we will. Elephants are such slow-moving creatures. You'll get two weeks to travel what would ordinarily take you two or three days, since that's how long it will take us to get to our destination in the next country, and I fully expect that remarkable nose of yours to keep you out of trouble."
"Is Aunt Natsumi coming along?" At Enkan's horrified expression, Tsume hastened to explain herself. "She's only here because of me. If I'm being 'dismissed', she would totally expect to go back with me."
He stared at her in dismay. "And leave the two of you alone, without some level of reasonable supervision, roaming the countryside? Do I look like I want to leave Fire in wreckage and ruin, and have the Fire Daimyo place very large bounties on all of our heads? Did you not listen to a single word I said about considering the safety and survival of your companions, or did you forget everything we just talked about already?"
Kuromaru perked up. "I can keep them out of trouble."
"No offense, but she wears the pants in this relationship," Enkan told Kuromaru as he gestured toward Tsume. "And I suspect Tsume would be hard-pressed to keep Aunt Natsumi out of trouble. Also, the Hokage made me swear on my clan's honor to keep that woman in my sight as long as you were both assigned to my circus. Since I lack the doujutsu of the Hyuuga, Aunt Natsumi is staying right here, where I can maybe subdue her if it comes to that, even though I now suspect I'll be nothing more than a chewing toy for her hell hounds if I try. This may seem like an open-ended contract to you," Enkan shook the scroll as Tsume, "but the Hokage is a sly fox. If I do something to endanger you, your aunt will end me."
"What do you plan on telling Aunt Natsumi? If she thinks I'm heading back to Konoha without her, she'll just follow along." Tsume remembered how easily Aunt Natsumi got lost in Konoha, where she had lived for fifty years. If Aunt Natsumi went wandering, she would probably wind up in the Land of Noodles without even crossing the ocean on a boat.
"Oh, I have every intention of clearly explaining to Aunt Natsumi what is happening… once she wakes up from Orochimaru's sedative. Which should be in about a week, with the way he's been dosing her. You will need to be packed up and ready to leave before dawn, though. Sakumo will show you the map and where you're expected to meet up with us."
oOoOoOo
Tsume's heart was feeling much lighter, even though her stomach still swam occasionally with embarrassment, as she repacked her knapsack. Since she wouldn't be with the circus for the next two weeks, it made no sense to wear her ancestral leathers while wandering the woods, so she changed out of them, stuffing them at the bottom of her bag. Kagami had been thoughtful in ensuring that she had four different changes of clothes, two of which were meant for cooler weather. She dressed in a pair of dark blue pants, securing the wide hems at her ankles with the wrappings he included (they were genuine Uchiha wrappings, with adorable little embroidered uchiwa that he must've pulled out of Mikoto's pack when he realized Tsume had none in her drawers), and slipped the high-necked, thigh-length tunic of blue-gray cotton over her head. Her hair got caught in the cute pearl beadwork that decorated the split collar, which is why she rarely wore this top. However, it was breezy and cool, perfect for the spring warmth.
Sakumo, as soon as his performance was finished, made a beeline for their shared tent. He paused momentarily with Enkan, and his scent changed from sorrow and fear, to a mix of alternating dismay and joy. He was still on costume when he entered the tent, pushing San and Ni aside. "Oh, Tsume. You're making my hair white." It was a frequent complaint of his whenever his genin managed to pull off a stunt that flared his adrenaline.
"Sorry about that. I know I need to work on keeping my lips zipped."
Sakumo ran his hands through his hair, his disappointed nervousness as clear as his scent. "That's just it – you have been keeping them zipped. You were well-behaved and in control when we did that Noburu mission, even when the guardsman was trying to convince Kokoro to let him look at her legs, and the Lady Noburu drugged Kushina's drink, and the bride went into labor during the wedding ceremony and you got to be her impromptu midwife. You didn't say a single thing that was embarrassing."
Tsume stared at him in disbelief, even though his scent was full of honesty. "Really, sensei?" He had lectured her for at least ten minutes after their mission was completed, on how it was inappropriate for Tsume to yell at the fiancé and bride's father on waiting to killing each other with the ivory chopsticks until after the placenta was passed, or she was going to throttle both of them with the umbilical cord and toss them out the castle window. And then the Hokage, offended at how the entire team had behaved, signed them up to guard and escort the virginal Miko of a cult to further learn how to be more diplomatic.
He smiled and shrugged. "To be fair, it was the first birth you ever did without assistance from your clanswomen, and emotions were running high for everyone. I thought you were going to start clobbering everyone when Noburu-dono said that he and the fiancée were required to be present for the baby's birth to witness the heir's exit from the princess's birth canal. And frankly, they deserved to be clobbered for that."
That mission had sure gone sideways in the end, and Tsume didn't even get a well-deserved bonus from Noburu-dono for upgrading her skill level from Grand Slayer of Dust Bunnies to Catcher of Slippery Newborns. Still, it went over better than the whole Hot Springs Sex Fiasco that followed suit, shortly thereafter.
"Well, as Shikake would say, there's always room for improvement."
Sakumo nodded as he unzipped his clown suit. He wore a chest-hugging white shirt under it, damp with sweat. He pulled his arms out of the suit, and let it puddle at his waist. "Phoo. It's sweltering in this tent. I'm half worried that your ninken will pass out."
"We have special techniques," Kuromaru declared with a thump of his tail. "You can circulate your chakra to warm you up in the cold; we can circulate our chakra to cool us down in the heat."
Sakumo considered that as he dabbed the sweat from his face with the inside portion of his suit's sleeve. "Huh. I always wondered how you could tolerate the heat despite your double coats. Anyway, since Enkan is not allowing you to be dismissed from the circus and is sending you the long way through Fire, I'm sure that Jiraiya is going to have you do a couple of deliveries along the way."
Jiraiya hadn't been near-by for the last twenty-four hours. He was staying away from the Capital, given that he had offended the son of one of the Fire Daimyo's political allies some time ago. Jiraiya's absence seemed to have greatly disappointed Uta, what with not being able to assist her in trying out the new chakra-suppressing restraints. "You'll need to meet up with him later with a message from me. I'm not exactly sure where he is, but I trust you can find him, easily enough."
Tsume didn't even have to sniff. "He's visiting a pleasure tea house an hour north of us."
Sakumo twitched.
"He's actually drinking tea with two guys, in a private room."
Sakumo's twitching ceased. "Ah, all right then." He leaned forward and clasped his hands on her shoulders, giving her a light squeeze. "In the meantime, promise me that you'll keep yourself safe. I know that you've already been through a lot, and I know that you're capable of doing great things, but you're still officially a genin, and you're not going to have two-legged support. Your last solo mission was a disaster of S-class proportions."
"To be fair, that wasn't all my fault."
"That is true, and I will never forgive either your grandmother, or Orochimaru, for the roles they played. But that's not the point." He leaned forward, touching his forehead against hers. "There are some jounin sensei who eagerly look forward to the day they no longer lead their genin team, but I am not one of those, Tsume. I have come to dread this day, because I know I won't be there to protect you."
Tsume's heart soared and sang with delight. Her forehead tingled. "Sakumo," she breathed, "you're the one whose taught me so much on how to survive when you can't be there for me. You'll be the reason I'll survive."
His dark eyes fluttered shut. "I know. And every father feels as much pride as they do fear, to watch their child take those first stumbling steps without holding onto anything. Stay safe, daughter of my heart."
oOoOoOo
Kushina was strangely subdued, not to mention simmering with anger and fear, by the time she returned to the tent. Night had settled, and with it came a cooler breeze. Tsume had raided the kitchens from some decent food, and was busy packing what she could find away in the storage scroll when Kushina joined them at their campsite. Sakumo sat on a log and studied both girls. Tsume was surrounded by tins that she had found, feeling put out that the cooks were trying to serve not-so-fresh food not quite fit for human consumption, instead of shelf-stable, most certainly not spoiled goods. Kushina's eyes were glittering in the campfire light as she considered Tsume. Kushina was barefoot and dressed in a simple yukata with her hair hanging loose, face scrubbed clean of the thick makeup that accompanied her circus costume.
"Hey," Tsume began, holding up a can of tuna in one hand, and a can of mackerel in the other, "which one do you think I should bring along? I can leave the others for y—"
Kushina socked Tsume in the jaw before Tsume realized what Kushina's simmering temper meant. Tsume sprawled in the dirt, too stunned to fight back as Kushina pounced on her, and then shook Tsume hard enough to make her teeth rattle. "IF YOU DIE OUT THERE, I WILL MAKE AUNT NATSUMI BRING YOU BACK JUST SO I CAN KILL YOU AGAIN. JIRAIYA-SENSEI TOLD ME ABOUT HER KNOWING TOBIRAMA'S EDO TENSEI."
Tsume clobbered Kushina with the mackerel to break her grip, and then somersaulted over the campfire as Kushina rebalanced herself. "What's the big idea?" Tsume demanded, rubbing her sore chin as she dropped the dented mackerel tin next to Sakumo.
"You…!" Kushina clutched her head as a trickle of blood ran down from the quickly-forming lump. "I swallowed a bee for you, today!"
"That was accidental so you can't claim that you swallowed a bee on my behalf!"
Kushina darted around the fire. Tsume flipped to the other side, and was caught when Kushina flew through the flames, ignoring how it singed the tips of her long red hair. The girls grappled each other, Tsume knocking Kushina's grip free as Kushina repositioned her hands. The blood stopped dripping as the small laceration healed. "I got strung upside down from a tree for you!" Their kicking feet sent canned goods flying upward through the air, over treetops.
Sakumo hid a yawn behind one hand as he tossed a few more branches onto his fire. Tsume sank her teeth into Kushina's arm as Kushina pulled Tsume into a headlock. Ichi rolled onto his back, giving Sakumo a pointed look. Sakumo rubbed the belly with his sandaled toes. (Distantly, Ringo told Yuu, "Someone is trying to rain down destruction on me in the form of canned sausages. I don't know if I should keep them for later, or throw them back.")
"Okay, yeah, I totally forgot that Minato can use nature chakra!" Tsume spit out a mouthful of blood and skin, even as the teeth marks steamed and healed from Kushina's golden chakra. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said to the Daimyo! It was thoughtless and I just stuck my foot in after he groped me, okay!"
("Keep it," Yuu replied. "Use it for collateral the next time those cooks serve up yakatori, and thank the gods for blessing you with something edible.")
Kushina froze with a handful of Tsume's hair, just short of yanking the strands out by the roots. "He did what?" Tsume broke the hold with a short jump upward and knocked Kushina down with a kick to her sternum.
Tsume retreated backwards, putting distance between them. Kushina smoothly rolled upright, rubbing her ribs. "He liked what he saw, when he looked at my costume. He grabbed my boobs, and then said he could order me into his bed."
Kushina gasped, her gaze raking up and down Tsume's body. "Is it…?"
Tsume shook her head adamantly, even though it made her hair flop, and her scalp was sore from Kushina's grip. "No. I never did anything with it!"
Kushina's face went as red as the fire. "That… that ass!"
Sakumo pointedly coughed into his fist.
"No!" Kushina stomped a foot that wasn't powered by chakra. The ground still cratered from the force of her strength. "What a horrible leader, to be telling a fourteen year old girl to get into his bed! That's even worse than how much of my taxes goes to washing dirty sheets!" Sakumo seemed puzzled at the mention of laundry and taxes. "It's not fair that Tsume is being sent back to Konoha just because he's a jerk who abuses his power so he can play all day with bees!"
"Um…"
Sakumo rapidly snapped his fingers at Tsume, but it was too late. Kushina's eyes went even wider with sudden realization. Tsume hunched and wished she didn't have such a big fat face that gave everything away. "Kushina," Sakumo said, his eyes darting around, "the Fire Daimyo has ears everywhere. It's not wise to judge how our country's esteemed ruler spends his downtime, de-stressing from the pressures of court, no matter how inappropriate we all feel it is."
Kushina's eyes glittered again as she studied Tsume. Her jaw tightened as she grit her teeth. "I see. Well, surely our esteemed leader should be ethical enough not to sleep with someone who's on the younger side of her teenaged years." Then she kicked the few cans that had remained upright through their brawl, sending them flying. ("Oh, hey, jellied cranberries! The gods have spoken, and they love me!" "Put those down, Chouza, you don't know where they've been." "Oh hell no! These are mine and I'm not sharing!") "Fine, whatever. Go hang out with Kokoro until I come back. See if I care!" She stomped off into the darkness and then, a few seconds later, rushed back and threw her arms around Tsume in a hug, nearly knocking Tsume over. Sakumo kept Tsume upright with a firm hand against her lower back, and yawned. "I'm sorry! Please, just stay safe and in one piece, okay? I want you to be in this same condition the next time I see you, and I love you so much!"
His hands carefully hidden between his knees, shadowed by the leg he was scratching Ichi with, Sakumo carefully signed to Kushina, I explain after we leave Capital.
Tsume squeezed Kushina back, delighted in her best friend's love and concern. "I know, and I promise – I'll stay out of trouble, really, I will!"
But instead of sticking around to help Tsume finish packing, Kushina hurried away – directly to Minato, whose odor was an odd mix of joy and concern. Feeling stung from her best friend's rejection, Tsume gathered up her supplies, and sat at Sakumo's feet. She wordlessly handed her hairbrush backwards to Sakumo. While she organized and packed, Sakumo ran the hairbrush through her unruly spikes without breaking the handle, and gathered them up into a neatly twisted bun at the top of her skull, secured with four hair ties and six senbon needles.
oOoOoOo
Madara paused for lunch at a little tea house somewhere in the Land of Wave. He never ate or drank anything before he departed Kirigakure, unable to keep anything down from seasickness. He had never been able to tolerate traveling by water, and it only got worse as the years waxed and waned.
In his Perfect World, no one would travel by water; everyone would have flying boats, just like the ninja from the Hidden Village of Sky. Not that said Village still existed, but he was sure that the survivors still had some air ships remaining. After flying around in his Susanoo, Madara was of the opinion that air travel was much more superior to sea travel. (Why did he align himself with Kiri again? Oh yeah, because it was close enough to Fire that he could watch Konoha without those dolts realizing that he was still alive.)
"Psssst."
Madara ignored the way the shadows collected under his outdoor table. This little teahouse served the best ham sandwiches, and he was starving.
"Madara. Hand me the mustard."
The homemade sourdough bread was baked in the teahouse's kilns, and there was something about the damp, musty Land of Wave that leant towards the best sourdough flavor. It was the one redeeming grace of this musty, dank country, as far as Madara was concerned.
"I wanna try that mustard. Why… why is he ignoring me?"
The teahouse also boasted of smoking its own hams with imported applewood from the Land of Bear. And the lovely proprietor of this establishment didn't even require the use of the Sharingan to be generous with the sliced ham. Not that like one place in the Not-So-Hidden Village of Hot Springs. He was going to burn that cheap-ass tavern to the ground one of these days, and dance on the ashes.
"Mustard always makes humans tastier. Let's see here…" Madara slammed his mustard spoon into the bench beside him, slicing off the questing vine attempting to steal his complementary jar of mustard. A spurt of white liquid was left behind as the vine hastily retreated.
"So cranky. Should I eat him? No, I can't, because I have no mustard to make him tastier. Hey, Madara, go chew on some foxgloves and some nightshade, you cruel bastard."
One of these days, he wasn't going to need Zetsu. In his Perfect World, Zetsu wouldn't exist (but he wasn't going to tell Zetsu that). However, the mustard imported from the Land of Vegetables would hold a place of high esteem. Madara sometimes wondered what Izuna would think of it… then again, Izuna was more likely to enjoy marinara sauce than mustard. (Madara slipped the mustard into a pocket and guarded it fiercely from his travel companion.)
In his Perfect World, there would be marinara sauce, and Izuna to enjoy it with him. And maybe Hashirama, but only if there were no knock-knock jokes.
oOoOoOo
Tsume hugged Kushina goodbye the next morning, before dawn had even started. Then Minato hugged Tsume. She wasn't sure why he was even seeing her off, but okay. Minato was nice, so Tsume pawed his dandelion fluff hair, because it was right there where she could touch it. Minato then slipped a notebook into her pack, and she knew that he knew she could smell him doing it, but Kushina didn't seem to notice.
"They'll figure something out for you in Konoha," Minato told Tsume. She didn't have to work hard to seem sad and resigned, since she already felt terrible about being separated from Sakumo and Kushina. She also wasn't allowed to say goodbye with Aunt Natsumi, given her ongoing state of comatose sedation; Sakumo had already explained to Tsume that they were going to remove Aunt Natsumi far from the circus and any decent civilization before lifting the sedation, since they fully expected her to emerge swinging and unwilling to listen to reason. Tsume was also worried that even though she had promised Kushina she would stay out of trouble…. Well, trouble had this habit of occasionally finding Tsume.
"Given how angry Danzo was, I'm probably grounded from even D rank missions," Tsume replied, hunching her shoulders. Danzo hadn't said goodbye; he had been seething in even more rage than normal after Enkan visited him after the finish of last night's performance.
"You can help with the wedding," Mikoto told Tsume as she gingerly patted Tsume's back in farewell. "My father's health isn't the best, so I'm sure that he and Mother would appreciate the assistance. Goodness knows that someone has to keep your Inuzuka clanswomen in check."
Tsume personally felt that Inuzuka Bashira and Uchiha-Shimura Fumiko needed no assistance from her when it came to keeping rowdy people in check, but didn't voice her opinion because she knew that Mikoto was just trying to make her feel better.
Mikoto whispered in Tsume's ear. "I know that you're in trouble for what you said to him, but I think your words was probably the only reason he didn't do anything more than slap me on the ass last night." Mikoto gave her a wicked grin. "Thanks for taking one for the team."
Tsume wasn't sure what to say to that, but Mikoto's retreat and Orochimaru's approach saved her from having to say anything.
"This is the world's longest sending-off I've ever seen for a dismissed Konoha genin," Orochimaru stated as he slid up to Tsume. He crouched down, and held out four teal-colored, squishy-looking, plum-sized balls. "Just because you've been summarily dismissed from your chuunin trial doesn't mean any of us expect you to cease any growth or training. I've implanted genjutsu in these here, for you. They each present a different situation that requires you to react a certain way in order to pass – you'll know you'll pass when the ball disintegrates. You can remove yourself from the genjutsu at any time – the same way you dispel any genjutsu you're caught in, and return to the genjutsu until you pass. I want you to practice how to better moderate your speech and emotional reactions."
Orochimaru's scent was light and genuine, and he didn't smile at her. Sakumo's scent remained steady and gave no suspicious regard to Orochimaru's gift. Tsume accepted the balls. They were as squishy as they looked. She placed them into her knapsack, fingers brushing against the thick notebook that Minato had slipped in. "Thank you, Orochimaru-sensei," Tsume said with a respectful bow.
Sakumo ruffled Tsume's hair. "Be on your way now. You don't have to rush headlong back to Konoha; you're fine to make it in three or four days. Use the extra time to compose a report to the Hokage that won't make the Fire Daimyo look like a demented pervert, but also, don't shoulder the entire blame of this incident on your carelessness. Just stick to the facts."
"Oh man." Tsume wrinkled her nose. "If that's the case, it'll take me two weeks to get to Konoha."
Sakumo's smile warmed Tsume against the morning cold. "If that's what you need, then that's what you need. Maybe one of Orochimaru's genjutsu can help with that."
oOoOoOo
As the circus made its way east of the Capital – Enkan's traveling season took him from Fire into the Land of Rivers, then northward in a crescent-shaped arc that meandered through the Lands of Birds, Earth, Vegetables, Keys, and finally into the Land of Wind, where Enkan would then loop southward in order to arrive and perform for the Autumn Suna Bizarre, before returning back to the Land of Fire – Tsume leisurely jogged back towards Konoha. Her ninken formed a diamond around her – Ichi in the front, Kuromaru at her side, Ni to her left and San to her right, and Shi at her back – and they were on alert, although not in warning. The Capital was exactly ninety-seven kilometers northeast of Konoha, and Jiraiya was twenty-five kilometers northwest of the Capital. He was on the move too, but westward, putting more distance between him and the circus.
Trailing behind, always sure to keep at least two kilometers between him and Tsume, Koyama followed. Uta must've assigned Koyama to follow and verify that Tsume was dismissed from the circus and returning to Konoha. It was unlikely that Koyama would follow Tsume all the way back to Konoha, but she still had to consider it a possibility. After she had told Sakumo about Koyama's lurking presence nearby at three in the morning, Sakumo had scribbled a quick note on the back of a circus flier, hastily explaining to whosoever reads this missive that Tsume, by order of her jounin instructor, was briefly returning to Konoha for a quick vet check on Shi's ongoing urine incontinence, as Enkan felt the dog urine was making the tigers nervous, and then she was to immediately return to the circus. Ekan had wordlessly signed it in agreement just before her exit, and applied a chakra seal that would verify the veracity of the missive.
Tsume was three times faster than the circus, but didn't move at a rapid pace, just as Sakumo had advised her not to. She avoided major roads and took a wide berth around towns and villages. This close to the Capital, dense woods were sparse. Most of the surrounding countryside was filled with farms, orchards, and pastures containing large herds of slaughter animals – sheep, cattle, pigs, ducks, and chickens. There were occasional glens of wood and clusters of deciduous trees, but none were old forest growth with massive girth, nothing at all like the forests surrounding Konoha. The circus had traveled the winding main route, and she didn't, which decreased the overall distance that Tsume would have to travel.
Sakumo had given Tsume a handful of coins; just enough to buy some basic food supplies that she hadn't been able to raid from the circus. Tsume decided not to spend the coins. It was easy enough to raid a nearby farm of early radish and spring pea crops, which supplemented the eggs her ninken snitched from the henhouse for a midday meal. She was able to successfully elude any nearby roving bandits and rogues by scent alone. Dinner that night was a rabbit, not yet able to fatten up with spring produce, and Tsume fed the majority of it to her ninken.
She slept next to a haystack left over from last summer, spreading her blanket over early wheat shoots. The mildew from the haystack's depths made Shi sneeze throughout the night, and Tsume woke up with a headache from the lengthy exposure from too many mildew spores. By the time she reached a well, an hour later, to top off her water canteens, Tsume had traveled just under thirty kilometers from the Capital, and Koyama was still tailing her, but at least her head felt better.
Since she was supposed to be returning to Konoha with her tail tucked between her legs, Tsume figured that it was within character for her to stall. She meandered over to a creek surrounded by some generous glades of cottonwood, and foraged for mushrooms. She was delighted to find some early morels, and then decided to try catching trout by hand. She waded into the cool waters and remained still for well over an hour, until the fish grew used to her presence, and swam toward her like flashing ribbons of speckled silver. It was boring, having to wait, but Tsume did some meditation and practiced go against herself in her mind's eye. (She lost. Both of her. In her mind's eye, the two Tsumes eventually got into a brawl and pelted each other with go stones.) Once the fish grew complacent, as quickly as she could, she scooped six out of the water onto the banks before they could scatter. She was pleased to see that her hands weren't even wet.
Trout was delicious, her ninken declared as she roasted the fish over a fire, but mushrooms were terrible. That was fine; mushrooms had an awful tendency to shrink when cooked, and her ninken's refusal to eat the mushrooms meant there was more for her to enjoy with a pinch of her precious salt. Having wasted half the day lollygagging around, Tsume figured she should resume her journey. Well, the stream appeared to be flowing toward the general direction of Konoha, so Tsume waterjogged the stream's surface with her ninken for a few hours. San and Shi chatted about the different fish they've had over their lifetime, and they eventually agreed that the rare freshwater burbot, found only in the Land of Grass, was superior to the rainbow trout that Tsume had caught.
Uninterested in listening to the conversation (which was now turning into a bitchfest over Tsume's cooking and her judicious use of spices, and how they greatly disliked rosemary and mint, even though the combination was heaven-sent in Tsume's opinion), Tsume allowed her thoughts to finally wander back to the Fire Daimyo. She replayed the two meetings with the Fire Daimyo in her head, and on the third replay of their second meeting, she realized that the Fire Daimyo hadn't groped Tsume and propositioned her so much because he was attracted to Tsume's gangly lack of womanly curves, but because it was retaliation against Hiji's casual remark about allowing someone to harm his bees.
It had been political posturing, she realized, stopping up short in the middle of the stream when she was only forty-five kilometers away from Konoha. This realization broke her concentration, and she fell through the water, drenching herself and her knapsack. She hurried to the other side of the stream, and spent some time laying out her items in the sun to dry them out. She took special care to make sure that the notebook that Minato gave her and the handwritten missive from Sakumo were situated to dry as quickly as possible, although they were only slightly damp. She barely gave the four squishy balls from Orochimaru any notice – seriously, Orochimaru, blue balls? She wondered what sort of not-so-subtle message he was trying to send with that one.
Not wanting to run around in wet underwear, Tsume also stripped naked and laid her clothes out to dry. She reclined backwards on the delightfully thick green grass and folded her hands behind her head. Koyama was still two kilometers behind, always pacing himself to remain no further, and no closer. There were a couple of young teenaged males half a kilometer downstream, trying to catch fish with potato beetles, and a woodswoman a kilometer east, chopping a fallen cottonwood into smaller lengths. Tsume had plenty of time to dress in her clothes if anyone approached her. From this distance, Tsume heard the thwack thwack of the ax against wood, which made her think of Aunt Natsumi's ax, and how Aunt Natsumi promised to finally gift over her ax once Tsume successfully summoned her guardian.
Which made her think of the whale that Aunt Natsumi dropped on Senju Uta, which made Tsume once more consider the Fire Daimyo's retaliation against Hiji. Ordering Tsume into his bed wouldn't have done any physical harm to Hiji, and – given what she had gone through at Madame Haori's House of Pleasure – probably wouldn't have been all that painful for Tsume, if she had gone through with it. And Fire Daimyo hadn't actually ordered Tsume into his bed – he had only suggested it. It was a power move meant to embarrass Hiji because the Fire Daimyo would know who the Clan Heads in Konoha were, and so he knew that Tsume was Head of the Inuzuka Clan. And, she realized with another rush, Noburu-dono surely told the Daimyo all about his experience with Team Five, which included Tsume taking over the entire ballroom like an Alpha Queen Midwife-Bitch.
"That ratfink," Tsume muttered under her breath. She rolled onto her stomach and pillowed her head in her arms. It was tempting to channel her Inner Nara and take a nap in the warm spring sunshine, but she couldn't spend the whole day avoiding getting closer to Konoha. The thick glades of cottonwood would soon start to meld into the old growth forests of oak and beech, the highways twisting and doubling back and ending abruptly the closer she approached Konoha – all the easier to confound travelers seeking to enter Konoha. There were multiple waystations that visitors were required to check in along their journey. People who were well-experienced in traveling through the forests knew how to traverse the different roads, which intersections to take, and where to find the disguised forks, but they were still required to check in with the waystations if they were not Konoha citizens or ninja with Leaf forehead guards.
However, the closer she got to Konoha, the further she would have to travel to get to Jiraiya, and she was going to have to keep foraging and pillaging farms in order to supplement her supplies; the few coins Sakumo had given her wasn't going to be enough… Tsume drifted asleep.
oOoOoOo
Tsume awoke with the setting sun when Korumaru nudged her lower back – the stinging pain made Tsume push herself into a sitting position, twisting around to see why it was unusually painful. She had a sunburn on her back and buttocks.
She had sunburned her butt!
Mortified, Tsume immediately began channeling the healing chakra, even though Sakumo rarely allowed her to practice. Koyama was still exactly two kilometers away, and was snacking on roasted rainbow trout (it totally lacked morel mushrooms, she smugly thought), and the fishing teenagers and woodswoman had left the area. After she had healed her skin, Tsume got dressed in her now-dry clothes, consumed her remaining spring peas (now a little wilted and limp) and radishes (still firm and spicy), and looked over the notebook Minato had gifted.
The pages were blank, but she saw the fuuinjutsu seal imprinted on the front and back covers. The seals were similar to each other, but not identical. Tucked in the pages was a loose piece of paper that read, If you ever have questions, please write them on these pages, and I will do my best to answer them. It was signed Minato. He had even included a newfangled prefilled fountain pen that was the same color as a brand new kunai, and was totally cool. Minato was now her fourth best friend in the whole wide world, she decided (right after Kushina, Kokoro, and Kuromaru).
Tsume turned the notebook over in one hand as she repeatedly clicked her fancy new pen, and gave the fuuinjutsu seals some consideration, wondering if they helped preserve the notebook. It didn't appear to have any residual damage from its impromptu swim. Tsume glumly packed it with the rest of her now-dry belongings. Trust Minato to anticipate how Tsume would probably accidentally nearly destroy the one present he ever gave her, and take measures to prevent the inevitable…. She withdrew the pen from her pack and clicked the pen several more times, delighted at its mechanism, before finally securing it in the notebook spiral. (Yup, still totally her fourth best friend in the whole wide world, even if he anticipated her drenching the notebook.)
Tsume traveled another five kilometers before she found a lovely place in an old oak tree where she and all of her ninken could fit amongst the branches without falling out. Sleep, that night, was restful, and she awoke to early morning birdsong and two surprises.
The first was that Koyama was making his way back to the Capital, and was already thirty kilometers away – he started back just a few hours after Tsume fell asleep. The second was that Kakashi, with his bag of packed (stolen) goods, had snuck out of Konoha with the assistance of one very delighted Juubi, and the two were fifteen kilometers away from Konoha's walls, heading north from where Tsume was located.
Author's notes: I love the squabbliung sister-friendship between Tsume and Kushina, and how Sakumo lurks in the background all ho-hum wanna belly rub puppy? during their catfight.