Thank you as ever to my favourite reviewer, Hollie. This one was complete supposedly, then I had a brainwave so added in a whole additional scene to make a big bumper chapter. Enjoy!
Jess had been nervously pacing in the living room for half an hour. The flooring was getting worn where she had walked over it so many times. Tonight she was going to tell Dan about the baby. She honestly had no idea how he would react over it. When she told him she was expecting Luke, he had proposed to her, but then later that night had been the first time he hit her.
She took a deep breath as she saw the headlights of Dan's car sweep through the living room, signaling his return from the domestic violence class. Jess hurried to sit down and look calm, but she must have still looked tense and worried, as when Dan came in he immediately looked concerned.
"Jess honey, what's wrong? Is everything ok?" he asked her, sitting next to her, taking her hand in his.
Jess had this big long speech ready to give to him, but as soon as she looked into his eyes she forgot about it, "Dan, we need to talk about something."
Dan looked confused, but then his face smoothed as he guessed what she was about to say, "If it's about me not having a job, I'm trying really hard to find something, it just might take longer because of recent events."
Jess shook her head, "No I don't care about that right now, really. It's something else."
Dan looked at her expectantly, "You can tell me, I'm not who I used to be Jess."
Jess hesitated before launching into it, "Do you remember when Luke was in the hospital after his accident? When we came home we got really drunk, then we had sex?"
Dan nodded, still not grasping what Jess was getting at, "Well, I sort of remember as like you said, we were drunk at the time."
Jess laughed nervously, "Well, I'm...we're...I'm pregnant. We're having a baby."
Dan's face froze, and then crumpled into disbelief, "What?"
Jess was looking anywhere but Dan, but his fingers lightly pulled her chin to look at him, "I'm sorry, I only found out a few days ago, but I didn't know what to do or how to tell you."
"Jess, I'm your husband, you shouldn't have been scared to tell me. Really I'm not that man anymore." Dan said sincerely.
Jess nodded as a tear made its way down her face. She bit her lip and smoothed her hair, "I don't know how to feel about it so soon after Luke."
"Well there's only one solution isn't there." Dan said kindly.
"Yeah, I mean obviously an abortion is out of the picture, and I'm not having the baby adopted. So it looks like we're going to be parents again." Jess said with a small smile.
Dan shook his head and then sighed, "I think there was a case of miscommunication here. I think you should have an abortion, I'm not ready to be a dad again Jess."
Jess' smile faltered, "You don't want the baby? Another chance to be parents?"
Dan took Jess' hands more firmly in his own, trapping them, "It's not that I don't necessarily want the baby. But with Luke, and with what I did to you, I'm not ready. I need time, I need to finish my DV classes. I need to get a job, we couldn't have a baby just on your salary. It's not the right time Jess."
Jess' eyes widened and she pulled her hands away from Dan's, "But you said yourself you're getting better, you are better! The classes are really helping, you've not touched me since the court case. What if Luke sent us this baby? To send a little bit of him to us?"
"Jess please. I can't, it's not the right time for either of us. This baby wouldn't be a replacement for Luke, it wouldn't make the loss of Luke better. I feel that if we have this baby, my recovery will go backwards. I can't risk that. We can't risk that." Dan said quietly.
Jess scooted away from him, "I know it's soon after Luke and the trial, but we made this baby Dan, I just can't not have it."
"You have to. To save our marriage." Dan said firmly.
"No, you're wrong. If you try and force me into an abortion, our marriage is over." Jess said firmly. She suddenly felt empowered, like she could take charge of her life.
"You can't be serious! You would pick a baby over me?" Dan cried in shock.
"I have never been more serious in my life. I shouldn't have to pick Dan, we're married. We made another baby, I want both of you, not one or the other. I'll give you the night to think about it, I'm going to Sally's." Jess said sadly, walking out the living room and packing an overnight bag. As she passed the living room on her way out, she saw Dan was sitting looking at the pictures of them with Luke. She paused, but then carried on out the house.
Jess got her overnight bag out of the car and walked into Sally's block of flats. As she entered the lifts, her phone rang. The caller ID said Sally.
"Hello?" she said.
"Hey Jess. What are you doing right now?" she asked cheerfully.
"I'm standing outside your flat hoping to be let in." Jess replied. She heard Sally whispering to someone.
"Oh perfect, come on in." Sally said.
"Have you got guests?" Jess asked, "Cause I don't want to intrude."
"No no, it's ok. Come on, I'm not gonna stand holding the door open forever." Sally said with a laugh, as Jess walked into Sally's warm flat. She dumped her bag by the front door and followed Sally through to the living room.
"Um hi." Jess said, a confused look on her face at the group of people in the living room.
Beth, Sally, Smithy, Callum, Will and Nate were all sitting on the sofa and armchairs, just looking at Jess.
"Hey Jess, do you want a tea?" Will asked from the corner.
"Er sure, thanks." Jess said, really confused now, "Anyone wanna tell me what's going on?"
They all looked at each other, then to Sally, "We wanted to talk to you."
A flash of anger made its way through Jess' body as she guessed what was happening, "Please tell me this is not an intervention!"
"Come on Jess, we're worried." Smithy said, throwing his hands up.
"Yeah, we just want you to be safe, that's all. We want the old Jess back, the party animal who could drink anyone under the table." Nate said with a smile.
"We only want to help you, really we do." Beth said quietly.
Will walked back in with the tea and a chair for Jess, "Here you go, it's got a shot of something special in it as well." Jess placed the tea on the table, untouched.
"Go on then, we may as well get this over with." Jess said, crossing her arms and looking expectantly at her friends, eyebrows raised.
"Ok then, I'll start. During the trial, it was the perfect time to get yourself together and leave the wife beating scum. But you didn't. And now you're still miserable, you still can't concentrate on the job properly, and you still won't socialise with us." Nate said.
"Yeah, but this may be news to you, it's not because of Dan. Not this time anyway." Jess replied, and this was the truth. It was more to do with the fact that she was pregnant and her husband wanted her to have an abortion.
"Fine. But you don't come anywhere on your own, you always come with Dan, like he's your carer and you can only do certain things before he drags you home again. He wouldn't even let you come celebrate the success that you and Beth had on that undercover op." Will added with a nod.
"Is Dan with me now? No he isn't. Is he currently telling me what I can and can't do? No." Jess retorted.
"Ok everyone, calm down." Beth said, always the voice of reason. Jess shot her a grateful smile.
"What we're all trying to say is, he is a wife beater who was potentially involved in Luke's death, and yet you're still with him. He went on trial for his continuous abuse of you, yet you're still with him. He's been abusing you for three years, maybe more, yet you're still with him. We've been involved in these cases Jess and you have always worked your arse off for these women and people to get them out, before they're killed. But when it's you, it's like you're blind to it. Actually no it's worse; you can see it happening but you rationalise it." Sally said softly, knowing that these words weren't to be shouted.
"Do you know what, I don't need to listen to this." Jess said, getting up and walking to the door. Just before she reached the door, her phone rang again. She checked the caller ID, seeing Dan's name. She couldn't help it, she couldn't stop the tears as she remembered that he wanted to kill their baby. She pressed the little red end call button, putting the phone back in her pocket and walked back into the living room. She had nowhere else to go.
Jess had stayed at Sally's, thanking the others for their support and concern, but reassuring them that they didn't need to worry, and she would let them know if she needed their help. She told them about his DV classes, that he was attending them as instructed and it seemed to be really making a difference. They seemed somewhat satisfied with that and eventually left one by one, Callum and Beth being the last to leave. As the door shut on them, Jess and Sally collapsed on the sofa. Jess shut her eyes before turning to Sally.
"Sal, can I stay here tonight please?" she asked.
Sally turned to her, "Of course. Another row?"
"Yeah, but nothing like you're thinking." Jess said quickly, seeing Sally's mind jump to the conclusion that Dan was beating her again.
"Well what then?" Sally asked, curious.
"I'm pregnant." Jess said in a rush. Sally looked at her, as if to check she had heard right. Jess just nodded.
"Pregnant? And that's why you and Dan had an argument?" Sally guessed.
"Yeah. He wants me to have an abortion Sal. I can't go through with it, I just can't." Jess said weakly.
Sally hugged her friend, "I know. Congratulations or commiserations though?"
"A bit of both. It doesn't feel like something to celebrate currently. Do you know what Dan said? He said that our marriage is over if I have the baby, that he won't take the risk with his anger and the progress he's making. All he's thinking about is himself. What if Luke sent me this baby, a piece of him? I can't get rid of something that before made such a wonderful human like Luke." Jess said defiantly.
"What did he say to that?" Sally asked.
"Just repeated that it was him or the baby. I gave him an ultimatum and said I would be back tomorrow and he can tell me what he wants- a divorce or a baby." Jess laid a protective hand over her stomach.
"So what are you going to do?" Sally asked.
"I told him if he forced me into aborting, I would leave him. And I would, because this baby would give me the strength I need to do that. This baby survived what he did to me." Jess said, her voice strong.
"Good for you. I'll support you, I'll be here for you. Whatever you decide. Are you going to tell the Inspector?" Sally questioned.
"No, not yet at least. I need to figure it out with Dan first." Jess said, thinking about the challenge ahead.
Jess returned home at midday the following day. She opened the door slowly, worrying about what sight could meet her eyes. But she breathed a sigh of relief, the house looked normal thus far. She dumped her bag at the bottom of the stairs, moving through to the kitchen to get a drink. On the table, in a gorgeous vase, was a big arrangement of tulips, daffodils and lilies, all of Jess' favourite flowers. On a stalk in the middle was a little envelope. Jess plucked it out, turning it over in her hands before opening it. Instead of the normal little card, there was a small piece of paper. On it was written,
Ridgley House, 30th November 3:15pm. Love you.
Jess was fuming. She couldn't believe the nerve of him. Ridgley House was an abortion clinic on the outskirts of town; Dan had obviously ignored what she said and booked her an appointment. In her rage she grabbed the flowers, tearing at them, shredding them into tiny pieces. And then came that gorgeous vase. She held it firmly in two hands, and then with a determined look on her face and a surge of anger, she threw the vase at the wall, where it shattered into hundreds of small blue pieces of crystal. Jess walked to where the debris lay on the floor, walking on it in her boots, shattering the pieces further until they were no more than dust.
Then she picked Dan's note off the table. She hunted in one of the drawers until she found what she was seeking. She struck the match alight, holding the flickering flame until it found substance with the note. Jess watched as the flame consumed the note; red, orange and yellow shapes moving across Jess' face.
Jess was sat in the changing room at work, pulling on her uniform. It was the 30th November, the day Dan wanted her to abort their baby. But she had cancelled the appointment without telling him. Surprisingly, he hadn't bought it up again, knowing how she felt about it after seeing what she did with the flowers he bought her. Because Jess was still so skinny, the slightest bump from the baby was visible. To anyone who didn't know, it finally looked like she was putting on weight, but to Sally, it looked like a baby bump. The door swung open, startling Jess. In the doorway was Beth.
"Um Jess, Dan's in reception. He wants to talk to you." Beth said quietly.
"He's here? In the station?" Jess asked, her brow furrowed. What was so important that Dan would come into the station where everyone hated him, instead of just calling her. She followed Beth through to reception, tensing when she saw Callum and Dan squaring up. "Thanks Beth."
"If it kicks off, I'm there ok?" Beth said reassuringly. Jess smiled at her friend before letting herself through to reception.
"It's fine, Sarge, you can go now." Jess said, trying to give Callum the hint.
Callum tightly shook his head, "No. While he's here, I'm here."
Dan just rolled his eyes at the Sergeant, "Fine. Jess, I'm taking you out for lunch today ok? I'll pick you up about two-ish? Is that ok?"
Jess looked startled, he hadn't taken her out anywhere for ages, "Um yeah, as long as I'm not out on a shout that would be lovely. I'll see you then." Dan kissed Jess slowly, making sure everyone could see.
"I'll see you at two. I love you!" he called cheerfully as he walked out. Jess half raised her hand.
Callum's jaw was locked tight, "He's not welcome here."
"Sarge, give it a rest." Jess said tiredly.
Jess had changed into her civilian clothes, ready for her lunch date with Dan. Her top had started getting slightly tight around the middle where her bump was starting to show. She put on a jacket and scarf over the top, trying to hide it. She put on a small amount of make-up and let her long blonde hair down. She pulled her boots on and walked through the station.
"I'll be back in an hour!" she called to Beth who was at reception.
"Ok, call us if you need us." Beth said pointedly.
Dan was leaning against the car just outside the main doors, "Hey honey. All ready?"
"Yep, I've been starving myself all day for this." Jess said with a smile, sliding into her seat.
"Good, you've been getting too skinny lately, I need to feed you up." Dan said with a smile, pulling out of the station. Jess pulled her scarf off and let her jacket fall open, making sure Dan could see her bump. She caught him looking a few times. "Aren't you cold? Maybe you should do your jacket up?"
"No, I'm fine, thanks." Jess said comfortably.
Dan didn't say anything, but just kept driving until they reached a small cafe in the town centre.
He opened the car door for her, offering him her arm, "Madam?"
Jess giggled, this was like how he was at the beginning of their relationship when everything was exciting and safe. "I do love you, you know." she said, slipping her arm through his.
"I know." he replied, gently kissing the top of her head.
45 minutes later, Jess was stuffed. She had made up for her lack of appetite when Dan had been on trial, and had consumed a vast amount of bread alongside her lasagne. She had declined the glass of wine Dan offered, not only because she was pregnant but because she was still on duty.
"Thanks for this Dan, it was lovely." Jess said sincerely, waiting for him to pay.
"Well I know that things have been horrible recently, and I wanted to make it up to you. I know lunch won't do that, but it will help. Besides, I've missed just talking to you." Dan said with a smile, taking his credit card from the waiter. "Now, we just have to make one more stop before I take you back to work."
Jess checked her watch, her hour lunch was nearly up, "Dan, I've got to be back in ten minutes. It won't take long will it?"
"It shouldn't do. But maybe you should ring just in case, tell them we got stuck in traffic." Dan suggested, getting into the car.
"Ok, I'll tell them I'll be half an hour late. I'll just make up for it with an extra half hour at the end of my shift." Jess said, pulling her phone out and ringing the station.
Dan pulled into a long gravelled drive lined with big trees, tucked behind a row of houses. Jess looked around in interest as they arrived at the big house. There were a few cars out the front, and people were milling in and out of the building.
"Where are we?" Jess asked curiously.
"Ridgley house." Dan replied, not looking at Jess.
Her heart constricted and her stomach plummeted, "You have got to be kidding me. I cancelled the appointment!" Jess cried.
"And I rebooked it for you." Dan said quietly, getting out of the car and coming to help Jess out of the car. She got out, pulling her arm away from him, she couldn't stand to be near him. He left her standing there on the gravelled drive, her face a mask of anger, disgust and hatred for him. "I'm sorry Jess, but we're not having this baby."
Jess was too shocked to say or do anything as she watched Dan leave her there. He didn't honestly think she would do it did he? She jumped as a kindly woman approached her.
"Are you alright darling? I know it seems daunting, but we'll help you with your choices. Come on, let's get you inside." The woman made to put her arms around Jess and steer her inside, but Jess flinched away.
"Don't touch me." Jess spat at the woman, who looked shocked but walked away and left Jess there. Her hands shook as she pulled her phone out, dialling Sally's number.
"Jess, where are you? The Inspector has been asking for you." Sally said.
"I'm at Ridgley House. Dan just dropped me here and left. Could you come pick me up please?" Jess begged.
"He what? Of course, I'll be there in a minute. Hold tight ok?" Sally said quickly as she hung up. Jess slowly made her way down the long driveway back to the main road, her hands protectively covering her stomach.
"What are you going to do?" Sally asked Jess on the way back to the station.
Jess had thought long and hard, and had finally come up with an answer. "I'm going to pretend that I've had an abortion. Then I'm going to slowly start packing my stuff up and find a new place to live. I'm also going to start getting my pay put into my own account, and take some money from the joint account and put that in mine as well. Then I'm gonna leave him and have this baby on my own." Jess said strongly. This had been the worst thing Dan had ever done to her. Not even the worst beating he had given her could compare to this.
"What if he realises that you haven't had an abortion? I mean you still have a bump, and it's going to get bigger." Sally said.
"He hasn't a clue about abortions. I'll just tell him that I'll be bloated for a while. I'm leaving him. I can't stay with him any longer." Jess said, nodding as if to convince herself that she was really leaving him.
"It's the right choice, it really is. My spare room is always there for you." Sally said warmly, hugging her friend as they entered the station.
Jess and Sally were driving round the Farmeade on patrol, counting down the last 2 hours of shift. They were quietly hopeful they'd actually finish on time, although neither said a thing as it was well known as soon as you uttered a word about it, all hell would break loose.
"Shall we circle round past the Mayweed estate? See if anything exciting is going on?" Sally suggested.
"Sure, we can stop by the cafe on route and get a hot drink, I could murder a tea." Jess replied, indicating towards the Mayweed.
"Sierra Oscar 595 to sierra oscar 686, I've got a job for you." Tony's voice crackled over the radio. Sally turned to Jess, cursing under her breath, their chances of finishing on time quickly disappearing.
"Go ahead Tone, what is it, over." Sally asked.
"Domestic disturbance call to flat 118, Redwood tower on the Mayweed. Neighbours called it in after hearing screaming and banging." Tony reported. Sally flicked on the sirens as Jess put her foot down.
"Show us responding, over." Sally confirmed. She turned to Jess, "Let me go in first, I want to avoid you getting thrown around." She paused before continuing, "You need to talk to the Inspector about the baby Jess, you need a risk assessment, especially with how accident prone you are."
A smile quirked Jess' lips, "I will Sal, I promise. I just need to find the time."
They arrived at Redwood Tower, the patrol car screeching to a stop outside the main doors. The police officers grabbed their hats and got out, hurrying to the building, Jess reporting that they were on scene. The lifts brought them quickly up to the 10th floor, the officers heading towards flat 118. The door to the flat next door opened as they approached.
"Did you call this in?" Jess asked the man, as Sally headed towards the door of flat 118.
"Yeah I did, this isn't the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last. But it sounded a lot more violent than it has before. Tiah was really screaming at him this time, there was so much banging and crashing about. And then it just stopped."
Sally and Jess looked at each other, their stomachs dropping, "Ok thank you sir, we'll be round to take a proper statement once we're done with your neighbours."
Jess joined Sally, Sally banging loudly on the door, "Police, open up!" Nothing. She banged harder, repeating herself. Still nothing. "Move back so I can kick it in." Jess stepped to the side as Sally kicked once, twice, three times before the door finally gave and swung open. They flicked out their asps, Sally walking in first, Jess right behind her.
They entered into a small dark hallway, following the noise of what they assumed was the TV towards the back of the flat. A door was ajar, a thin strip of light glowing through. Jess checked the kitchen and bedroom as they walked past, but they were empty. Sally pushed open the living room door with her asp, her eyes widening in shock at the sight in front of her. Jess followed her in, not knowing where to look first. There were smashed up bits of furniture scattered around, the curtains had been pulled down from the rail and the rail discarded on the floor. A plant pot had been smashed against the wall, dirt everywhere. And then their eyes found their victim, slumped on the floor in the corner, partially covered in cushions and blankets from the sofa.
"Sierra Oscar 134 to control, urgent ambulance request at my location. Female, early twenties, unconscious, badly beaten up. Over"
"Sierra Oscar 595 to sierra oscar 134, ambulance en route to your location, over." Tony confirmed.
Sally had pulled the cushions and blankets off the unconscious woman to assess her.
"Sal, she's pregnant." Jess said, pointing to Tiah's stomach. She got to her knees next to Sally, feeling sick at the sight of Tiah. Her face was swollen beyond recognition; her nose was bleeding, her lip was split and there were finger marks around her neck. Jess scanned the rest of her body- scratches, burn marks, old bruises, new bruises. Her body was a patchwork of abuse. "Jesus Christ look at her."
"She's not got a pulse, get the resusciaid out." Sally moved Tiah onto her back, starting compressions.
"Sal we need to move her out the corner, I can't get to her head." Jess said, Sally pausing CPR to quickly help Jess scoot Tiah out the corner and into the centre of the room. The movement revealed the blood that had pooled under earth her. "Where's she bleeding from?"
"Could be anywhere, let's just try and get her breathing again before the paramedics get here." Sally said as she carried on CPR.
Jess positioned herself behind Tiah, holding her head in a neutral position. As Sally got to 30, Jess gave 2 rescue breaths, feeling for a pulse as Sally carried on, "Still no pulse." Sally glanced at Jess, unable to help herself thinking that this could be Jess, that if Dan was unable to keep himself controlled, she might get called out to a domestic and it be Jess who she needed to give CPR to.
"The paramedics need to hurry up, can you see where they are?" Sally panted, sitting back on her feet as Jess gave more rescue breaths, before moving round so she was over the chest.
"You call it in, I'll take over CPR." Jess said, pumping on Tiah's chest, "Come on Tiah you need to breathe for us, for your baby. Come on, please."
Just as Sally was calling for an update for paramedics, they heard shouting from the front door. "Through here, quick!" Sally got up, moving to meet them to give them report. They hurried through, Luke coming to take over from Jess while Comfort got the defib set up.
"Has she had a pulse at all since you've been here?" Comfort asked as she stuck pads to Tiah's chest.
"No, nothing. She's bleeding from somewhere too, when we moved her from the corner there was a pool of blood under her." Jess answered while Sally called CID and the Sergeants.
The resus attempts carried on for another 10 minutes with no change. The paramedics looked at each other before Luke shook his head at Comfort.
"I think we should call it." Luke said.
"Agreed, time of death 21.23." Comfort said quietly, moving back from the dead woman.
"I'll update the station, start the arrangements for her to be taken in." Sally said sadly, glancing again at Tiah.
As the paramedics started collecting their gear, Jess moved closer to Tiah, "What about the baby?"
Luke looked over to Jess, "There's nothing we can do, she doesn't look near to term, she's possibly not even viable, and it's likely the baby has already passed."
Jess just nodded, her hand subconsciously going to her stomach. If ever there was a wake up call for her to escape Dan, this was it.
"PC Waite?" Jess turned at her name being called as she was heading out, seeing Callum at the door of the Sergeants office. She hitched her bag up her shoulder and headed over to him.
"Sarge?" she asked. He beckoned her into his office, shutting the door quietly behind her.
"Are you ok? That sounded like quite a difficult shout from Sally's report." Callum asked gently.
Jess paused, "She was pregnant, and he still beat her up to the point he killed her. And then he fled. I can't stay with him anymore, Callum. I can't have that as my future."
Callum studied her face closely, "Do you need help getting away from him? Say the word and I'll be there. All of us will."
"I was already planning to leave, started making the arrangements with Sally today. I don't want any of you to come to a domestic call and it be me in her position." Jess said, a determined look on her face that Callum hadn't seen for a while. He couldn't help but think that it had been her nearly in that position, twice when he'd attended. He got up, moving round his desk before crouching down in front of her.
"We've got you Jess, it won't be you, I promise, I won't let it. Now, shall we join the others at the pub? I think a stiff drink is on the menu."
Jess nodded, following Callum out the office, steeling herself for the conversation with Dan when she got home.