Before returning to my soulmate, I should say goodbye to all the friends I've made since I was here. Saying goodbye to my kids is heartbreaking enough, but I owe them. What kind of person would it make me if I just up and left? I say farewell to my old quarian body. You pleased Tali many times and make alcohol tasty. It feels right to place it in the ground next to Tali. This short willow tree will one day grow into a mighty giant. I hope couples who sit in the shade feel our love. Now I return to my prime as a young muscular human with a nontraditional Hollywood but still very attractive face. Ah muscles, I missed you.

First stop, my children's favorite Aunt. I'm astral project into her room. She's alone, sobbing and hugging her pillow. Liara's aura is so jagged, it pains me to see her like this. I hate for her to lose another person she cares about. Maybe it will be ok since I'm not technically dying, and I can always visit. I tap on a wall three times as ghosts love to do. It's our special code.

Liara perks up "*?"

Carefully I control my frequency so only she will be able to see and hear me. "Hey Liara. You doing any better?"

Liara nods "A little each day. You're about to leave aren't you?"

"Sadly yes. I came here to this universe to accomplish what I wanted and in the end found the love of my life and raised a beautiful family. Now I'm going to be with Tali again. Any messages for me to pass along?"

Liara puts her pillow down "Tell Tali she was one of my closest friends and I long for the day we'll see each other and that I am so happy she had the chance to live the life she deserved. , I felt like we didn't see each other very much, but I appreciated everything you've done for Shepard and me. I'm never going to meet anyone like you ever again."

"This isn't goodbye forever. Since you live way too long, the standard is 75 years you know, I'll come by every now and then. You made Shepard a very happy man. As his best friend, I owe you for that. (I place my spectral hand on her head. Man does her hair tentacles feel weird) Enjoy the bliss. Goodbye Liara."

Liara moans in ecstasy as I release the sacred secretion from her asari brain. Wasn't entirely sure this would work. The asari collapses onto her bed, with the largest grin I've seen her wear.

"Thank you *" are the last words I'll hear from her for a very long time.

Next stop. A successful business turian. Garrus told me he spends most of his time at his company's largest restaurant. The inside is his color scheme. Ash gray and dark blue. There is a long line of hungry turians ready for their meal. I politely ask the cashier

"Hi, can you please let Garrus know I am here? Tell him it's his former partner."

The young turian employee says "He's very busy but I'll check. Mr. Vakarain. (video calls his boss) Do you know this human? Says he is your former partner."

Garrus squints his tired eyes "He looks familiar."

I tell him "It's been a while. Are you still cursing up a storm when machines need calibrating? You were so dedicated getting that cannon installed on the second Normandy."

Garrus's eyes pop out of his faceplate "*? Hang on, I'm coming out."

I awkwardly wait for the boss. Never have I felt so out of place at a fast food place. Garrus comes out of hiding. His age requires him to use a cane to walk. Nevertheless, he hugs me. Turians growing old must soften their stoic hearts. I helped him sit down at a booth.

I said "So the great archangel became a successful franchise owner. How the mighty have fallen. How are things?"

Garrus tells me "Keeping active. You know how much turians hate having nothing to do. What's it been since we last saw each other?"

Leaning back, sinking down into the chair, trying to remember how long it's been. "Decades at least. Once I brought Tali to one of your first places for date night to try your food. I'm sorry Garrus but it tasted horrible to us. But your kind seems to love it."

Garrus laughs "Yeah, lots of fat turians running around because of me."

I tease him "Only because you stole my idea and turians don't even get fat because of the exoskeleton. Lucky."

Garrus replies "Figure of speech. Besides, you don't mind the credits I sent you. What did you even do with the money?"

I answer "donated it to Conrad's orphanage."

Garrus says "Liara called and told me what you did for her and Shepard. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help the both of you. I know I was Shepard's favorite Turian, but he was closest to the two of you. How are you holding up?"

I answer "For me it's a lot easier. I'm sad, but it feels more like someone moved across to the other side of town than… you know. What about you?"

Garrus answers "I'm still in shock. I can't believe he is really gone, that tough bastard. Makes a turian question his own mortality. I still have a few decades on the clock."

I tell him "Well if you don't do what you want in this life, you can always save it for the next one."

Garrus mandible 'curve' upwards "Not a bad idea. I enjoy living and won't mind doing it again. Service to others is turian… turian… remind me is it heaven or hell for humans?"

I answer "Heaven is the good place."

Garrus snaps his fingers "Right. May I ask? Is he?"

I tell him "Yes, he is. Shepard is with his family, and they'll stay as long as they want."

Garrus breathes out a sigh of relief "Good. Spirits, he deserves it. Is that why you wanted to see me after all these years?"

I shake my head no "As much as I missed my giant birdie roommate. Sadly that is not why I came. Making the rounds one last time before I head out."

Garrus just about had a heart attack "... OH! Spirits damn! So soon after Shepard?"
Avoiding eye contact "I know the timing is inconvenient, but I need to be back with my wife."

Garrus understandingly nods "I bet. You two really loved each other."

I wipe my tears with his cheap napkins "I'm sick of hurting being away from her. She is the best. Garrus I am so glad to have met you, and that you've had a good life. We'll meet again one day."

Garrus says "Damn right we will. The three of us should team up and terrorize all those Reapers we killed once my time is up. Show those bastards not even hell is safe from us."

I laugh so hard, the customers turn their heads towards us "Can't wait. See you around Garrus." Standing up, offering a hand to Garrus. His creaky bones are audible, causing me to cringe.

Garrus offers "in honor of what you've done for all of us, I'll name a meal combo after you."

I'm touched "I've never had anyone do that before. Cross that off the list of items I never thought to ask for. Hahahaha. Enjoy another 50 years of your senior years."

Garrus replies "Spirits I don't want to live like this for that long. Already hard enough to make it to the bathroom."

"Just kidding. Next time we meet, you are going to be a spirit. Until then, have a good life. Goodbye G-Man."

"Goodbye *. Till we meet again."

What do I see here? In the colorful yellow and green light casted from a living room window crafted of stained glass, I find an elderly man chilling on the couch. Old man Kaiden getting high, sucking in, sucking in, wow the lungs on this man, enjoys himself by blowing rings to the ceiling.

"I've heard mixed things about cannabis. If you are trying to get your atoms to dance higher than your marijuana leaf kite to ascend, I don't think that will work."

Kaiden sits up "Cough I must be so stoned if I am seeing *."

"I'm actually here Kaiden but not for long. I wanted to come by and thank you for keeping my secret on the Normandy."

"You were always crazy, but it was fun having you around. Thanks for saving me all those years ago. I've lived a great life with Cortez."

I ask "where is he?"

Kaiden answers "he went antiquing with our daughter. Magically I got a migraine and couldn't go."

I comment "Huh uh. You must really hate antiquing. So weird to think the stuff I grew up with are antiques to you guys, if they'd even survive this long."

Kaiden says "I'm sure people will be saying the same about my stuff one day. Hey can you do me a quick favor and duplicate enough of this to last the rest of my life?"

I joke "you want me to fill your whole house with pot?"

Kaiden becomes enthusiastic "that would be amazing... AND DONUTS!"

Then I get an idea. "How about this?" I manifest a tall hutch filled with the best cannabis in the omniverse. A few buddies at the guild tried getting me into it but couldn't stand the sensation of smoke in my lungs. Kaiden will make good use of this.

"Enjoy Kaiden. I'll find you when your vibrations rise as high as mine."

He takes a long drag "Cough Bye *. Enjoy being higher than I am."

"Hehe will do."

I find myself in a locker room, which reminds me of the one on the Normandy. Lifeless dull gray metal everywhere the eye can see. This must be an Alliance ship. Behind me an old lady screams, who's pointing a gun at me. I turn around, thank Source she is clothed, raising my hands in surrender.

"*? What are you doing here? You creep. This is the women's locker room" Ashley said.

Internally I seize up "SORRY! Didn't know. I'll make this quick. You know with my age, I've seen a lot, but never a kickass great grandma Spectre. Can't believe you are going at it still. Shouldn't you have retired 60 years ago at least?"

Ashley lowers her gun "Retirement doesn't suit me. I'd miss the action too much."

I tell her "Yeah I bet. I'm about to head out for good this time. When you pass, I'll show you the guild. Every night there are crazy fights with other ascended transforming into all kinds of characters from the multiverse. I checked, tonight is the original chocolate factory oompa loompa vs kermit the frog. If that doesn't fancy you, I'll show you Vahalla. We'll slay so many Vikings together and have mead afterwards."

Ashley groans. "Ah man. Sucks you're leaving but that sounds fun. I like having something to look forward to. Honestly I'm surprised you didn't leave sooner. I know how much you miss Tali. I'm glad you both got to live the life you deserved. Say high for me."

I reply "Will do. I'll see you later Ash."

She shouts "Wait! Before you go. Can you do it one more time? It's hilarious."

My cheshire grin comes alive "Ok fine. If you really insist. When two people love each other very much, that love grows, it continues growing, and it builds up until they love each other so much, they can't contain their love for each other inside their chests anymore, the pressure is too intense to be contained, so they decide to have a child to funnel that extra love into. Now I'll get into the mechanics. So, whenever a factory releases a product, they have that plastic wrapper you need to poke through to get access into the goods. Which is why the swagger dagger needs to stab through the hymen as it enters the flesh sheath. Now you want to make sure you caress the little pink jewel on top with the hilt of the blade. Get creative with the motion, stroke it top to bottom, vice versa, clockwise, counter clockwise, get jiggy with the willy, until the rich mineral oil comes out, giving the hard surface a nice shiny finish to admire and waiting for daggerettes."

Ashley might actually die from laughter "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Oh god I can't get over how funny that is."

Her energy is contagious. "I can't believe you asked me to teach sex ed to the teenagers at Conrad's orphanage or that you managed to stay with him this long."

Ashey calms herself down "What can I say? I love the hero worship he gives me. Plus he's super smart, has a great career as a teacher and loves taking care of the orphans. So dependable and responsible unlike the guys I used to go out with. What did my younger self see in them?"

I remind her "He's Conrad Verner."

Ashley smiles fondly "He's amazing in small doses."

I chuckle "Haha. That's good. I'll leave you to whatever you were doing. Fist bump?"

Fist bump.

"Bye Ash." Disappear into the air.

"Hahaha you look like bargain basement Morgan Freeman" I tell Jacob.

Jacob throws his bald head back "dear lord is it my time?" He sounds like Dave Chappelle voice fucked Vin Disel.

"No, it's mine. Miranda, get your miscegenation loving genetically engineered booty in here."

Slowly out of the kitchen, in a walker comes the former Cerberus Cheerleader, her hump back, stringy gray hair, and oddly placed moles reminds me how lucky I am GILF Tali was Mmmmm.

I utter "wow!"

Miranda says "see what happens when you have too many kids."

"Dear Source, how many did you have?"

Jacob yells "one. How on Earth did you raise four?"

"Did it on Rannoch and I loved being a dad so much."

Miranda asks "didn't you get sick of all the crying and the wailing, and the tantrums at all?"

I answer "I built up a tolerance thanks to twitter users."

Jacob asks "what is twitter?"

"Never mind. I'm sorry to bring more bad news, but I'm exiting this universe. Don't be sad. I mean be a little sad. Your favorite homo luminous is going goodbye for good after all. I'm going to go be with Tali."

Miranda asks "take me with you. I want to be young again."

"There will be plenty of time for that. In the meantime, Jacob? Is it true what they say about having no teeth? You know?"

Jacob answers "I wish."

"Hehe, alright I see I overstayed my intruding into your home. Enjoy the rest of your time together. See you both again across the curtain. Bye guys."

"I sense a very powerful presence. It's coming through. Wait… oh shitfucks." The tattooed covered psychic said.

Her client asks "what is it?"

I pop out of a crystal ball, looking around "where the hell am I?"

"*?"

"Jack?!"

The client asks "who are you?"

I ask "who are you?"

"I'm Denise. Do you know where I left my credit chip?" she asks.

Jack apologies to her client "sorry this isn't the guy. * why the fuck are you in my crystal ball?"

I ask "Jack what the hell is going on here? Are you a medium now?"

Jack says "yeah after I retired from teaching, I went back to fucking alot, got tired of that, got curious about the stuff you did and went to see Taylor, had another round with her, and then she got me into this shit. Turns out I am gifted. Who knew?"

That worries me "with the way your frequency is, that concerns me. Do you come across alot of 'bad entities?'"

Jack says "depends on my mood."

Denise asks "Hi, excuse me, do you know where my credit chit is?"

I reply "Did you check if it slid into your top dresser drawer? Happened to me all the time."

Denise rolls her head back "Oh you might be right. I was putting laundry away earlier that day."

"They make them way too small."

Denise agrees with me "Exactly!"

"I like your ozzies Denise."

"Thank you!"

Jack reminds her client "I get paid by the hour. * can you get out of here?"

"That's actually why I came. I'm going away and I'm not coming back for a long time. Tali is waiting for me. I wish you high vibes and good luck on your journey. Knowing you, I doubt you'll need it. You're too badass to let anyon get in your way. See you around Jack."

Jack smiles "thanks for helping me get out of my darkness. Bye my guy."

"Bye Jack. Bye Denise."

Denise waves "Bye whoever you are."

My perpetually sexy robowife keeps nagging about my posture "Jeff you should not recline so far for extended periods. It may cause harm to your back."

"I had my back broken a dozen times. Any pain I get will be nothing."

Edi replys "That is not an excuse. Warning, an incalculable amount of energy is located at the nose of the ship."

"Wait, what?" Joker sits up. "Would you look at that? HEY *! Why do you think he's here now?"

I use my energy to create particles of light which spell out "goodbye."

The Normandy's seasoned pilot takes his hat, showing off his shinier than Edi noggin, holding it over his heart, Edi dims the light of the cockpit. With that, I vanish into the cosmos.

Jeff says "I'm going to miss that guy."

Edi pats my shoulder "I will as well Jeff."

I'm not too interested in saying goodbye to James or Kelly. I didn't spend enough time with them to consider them friends, or Javik either, but curiosity is getting the best of me. I wonder how the prothean king is living. Let's see, my soul tie to him is pretty weak. Ah! Here we go. I follow the strand to where the last prothean is. Currently he is being fed grapes while resting in an asari's plastic surgeon enhanced honka honkers.

Javik senses something, sits up and orders his concubines out of the room.

He yells "Who goes there? I sense distortions in the atmosphere."

I reveal my presence "Hey Javik. Long time no see. Sorry to disturb you but I thought I should stop by. Wow! You barely aged. How long do protheans live?"

Javik answers "I do not know. I'm hoping to continue for centuries more."

"I have to ask, do you ever get bored of all this hedonism?"

Javik answers "Never. It is my duty to follow the will of nature, and it appears it is spreading my seed to as many asari as possible."

"How many kids did you father?"

Javik thinks "I believe close to a thousand."

"Jesus Christ! You're building an army for the Reapers aren't you?"

Javik replys "Yes, that is the reason. Luminous primitive, why do you seek my attention?"

"It's my time to go. I'm seeing everyone before I head out. Javik I am… let's say pleased you are enjoying whatever this all is."

He responds "Luminous primitive, when I awoke from stasis, I yearned for the retribution of my people. While I have not yet eradicated the Reapers, I found life had more to offer. Luminous primitive, will you return to assist in defeating the Reapers when they return?"

"I think this galaxy has it covered. Especially with all the asari popping babies with your genetics."

Javik nods "Of course. How else to prove my seed is the most valued by my kin exterminating the Reapers?"

"Yeah, that's the correct way of thinking. Bye Javik."

Javik smirks "You will be missed *."

My last stop. After all these years, I'm back at clan Urdnot. I remember when this place was a dump. Hell, a dump was better than. Now look how things have changed. A once cluttered grimy camp has turned into a sparkling little town. Look over there, that was where I had my first glass of ryncol. There's a park where we converted the old battered mako into a furnace. Adolescent krogan spin round and round on a merry go round. Little mini turtle people actually look so cute.

The krogan turn heads as I browse the streets. That one guy I beat up looks like he's seen a ghost. Haha! My senses allow me to follow where Wrex is currently. Nearly 15 minutes of walking, I find my old cabin, with numerous extensions I did not approve of. My garden still remains with new plants I'm sure Grunt uses.

Knock Knock Knock.

Wrex's voice reverberates through the wooden door "I have a gun, who is it?"

I shout "the human who built this place."

"*?! Coming!"

Wrex opens the door, warmly welcoming me into his hideout. My giant buddy is pleased to see me. His smile exaggerates the lines from his face. Whether it be from old age or raising his little monsters, I do not know.

Wrex offers me a chair "please sit down. What brings you to my humble abode?"

"I had to see you and Grunt. Where is he?"

Wrex answers "He's coming back from the store soon."

I ask "Does he live here?"

Wrex answers "we both do."

I ask "you don't live with Eve?"

Wrex chuckles "Ah silly human. Krogan men keep away from the females for a reason."

"I feel bad for the children. Speaking of which, I think Javik broke your record."

Wrex argues "You can't compare us. It is not like he raises them. If I know how much work it took, I wouldn't have impregnated a dozen females around the same time. Sounds bad now but back then we just killed the Reapers and everyone wanted a piece of me."

I ask "How was fatherhood?"

Wrex answers "Pretty good. Rarely got the urge to kill my kids. That's a joke. I still can't believe how much my people changed. From hopeless warriors killing for credits to a bunch of sappy breeders."

Knock knock "Yo I'm back. I swear the lines are getting longer every time I go. sniff sniff who's here?"

Turning around in my chair, waving Grunt hello "Yo bud. Long time no see. How's it going?"

Grunt drops his bags of groceries onto the floor, he sprints towards me, activating my fear instincts, the krogan I helped raised hoists me off my chair, bear hugging me to near death. I think he broke my jacob's ladder (spine).

Grunt lets go "Ah It's great seeing you *. Sorry I didn't get to see you much after the war. It's just the distance from here to Rannoch is ridiculous. Takes forever to reach you guys."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. Having the ability to instantly travel here, I should have come seen you once or twice."

Wrex says "you would have had to deal with a bunch of screaming tadpoles. I don't care. It feels like it was a blink of an eye since you first came to TuChunka."

Grunt says "I'm starting to feel it. Feels like yesterday was winter."

Wrex says "It is winter."

Grunt says "I meant the winter four years ago."

Wrex slaps his knee with his metal arm laughing a storm "yeah that was insane. Hail the size of my quads if you can imagine."

"I rather not. Looks like you guys had a really good time while I was away."

Grunt comments "there's been ups and down, I still have a lot of living left to do but, yeah things are good."

I smile "Awesome! It makes me happy seeing people live good lives. I learned how special that is."

Wrex groans "Stop bragging. We've seen your profile. You posted like every other day."

I tell him "In my time, some people posted every half hour. It was an addiction."

Grunt asks "who has the time for that?"

"I know right. I assume you guys heard about Shepard. Did Liara call you?"

Wrex's grin fades while his eyelids lower "yeah. Sucks he's gone. I'm used to a lot of people I know getting dying, but Kalros him going out... that hurt."

Grunt says "I thought of him as a father. O'keer designed me, but Shepard made me who I am."

"I went to the other side and talked to him. He's worried himself to death about Liara."

Wrex asks "how does a dead person worry himself to death?"

I reply "Shepard handled me for years. He'd find away."

Grunt says "let's have a drink." He goes into the kitchen, then brings out a huge bottle of Ryncol and glasses, normal sized for human but shot glasses for krogan. Grunt pours everyone a glass, then we toast for Shepard. Ryncol hurts so bad going down, but it makes my brain feel the good kind of mushy.

Wrex orders "another."

"Not for me. I shouldn't have to much before I go. Makes the trip harder if I overindulge."

Grunt asks "where are you heading?"

I inform them "My kids and I had a conversation about how much I miss Tali. I stayed long enough for them to mourn their mother and support them."

Wrex groans "Ah shit. You're leaving us aren't you?" Grunt looks at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes.

"I'll make the same deal I have with Liara. I'll stop by every decade or so and check up on you. While I am away, please keep an eye on her. She's a tough girl, she had to be in order to put up with Shepard, but I know from your guy's perspective we are going to drop like flies soon. Hard times are coming."

Grunt says "Yeah, no problem. When are you leaving?"

"Right after this. I said goodbye to everyone else and saved the best for last."

Wrex aww.

"How should I break the news to Conrad Verner?"

Grunt spits out his drink.

"Hahaha. I'm kidding. You guys know I love you."

Wrex leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees "before you go. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for the Krogan. The galaxy sees us as people, and we have actually lives now."

I reply "your people did most of the work."

Grunt says "from what Wrex has told me, you knocked down the first domino. None of this would have been possible without you."

"Yeah you're right. Feel free to put up a statue of me."

Wrex asks "I thought you don't like taking credit?"

"No but I like being appreciated. The vibes feel nice. You guys don't really have to. I'm going to be too busy with Tali anyways."

Grunt asks "what will you do?"

"I'm not sure. I'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

Wrex says "whatever happens, we wish you kids the best."

Grunt says "she was like the badass cousin I never had. Tell her we miss her."

"Will do. Well, time for me to go." I stand up from my chair.

Grunt hugs me. Wrex is avoiding eye contact, rapidly blinking his eyes.

Grunt asks "are you crying?"

Wrex replies "No I'm allergic to sad moments. * it's been a blessing knowing you." The cold metal arm of his wrapping around my shoulder warms my heart. Must be allergy season, my eyes also came into contact with what is in the air "It won't feel long until we see each other again."

Wrex argues "10 years is still 10 fucking years."

"We can use something to look forward to. This isn't goodbye, this is a see you later. How about that?"

Grunt nods "I can live with that."

"I'm really going to miss you guys. Plan an awesome party for my return. Until then, take care."

With that I phase out of this plane of existence and onto the next one.