Having come back to Holfort for the second semester of year two, I have come to the conclusion that the Holfort was the sanest territory in this godforsaken planet. What a disappointing revelation that was.

I functionally took out half of Alzer's heirs, and not once was I admonished. I should've known better what with Albergue, essentially Alzer's king equivalent, prioritizing me over his heir.

The only sane individual I found in Alzer was Emile. He didn't come for my head, and he was kind enough to ask me to get the fuck out of his country before his god decided to try to force me to cuck him. A real good and sensible chap. Even helped me pack.

Speaking of trying to leave, Noelle had tried to sneak onboard the Partner citing that she needed to take care of my sapling, as was her duty. This irked me not because I disliked the girl, but because I disliked the fact that Angie would absolutely lose her shit if another girl tried to sink her claws into me (Livia was already one too many even if we had nothing going on).

There was also the disturbing fact that Noelle seemed to have taken a liking to me for disposing of her unwanted suitors. Or was it nobles? She did vocally state her disgust with the nobility. If it were the latter, having her come to Holfort would have been quite stupid.

Fortunately for everyone besides Noelle, Yumeria was granted a Sacred Priestess crest. Given Yumeria's innate magical talents with plants, Noelle had no reason to tag along.

Of course, Angie now gave Yumeria the stink eye often. Not that Yumeria noticed.

But I was distracting myself with these thoughts. I now knew that the only way to get demoted was to get on the prince's bad side. It was something Jenna had warned me about early in my first year.

While I may be currently on his good side due to feeding him skewers, I ultimately had a wealth of knowledge to pull from to get on his bad side. I would be the thorn in his side that Angie was always meant to be.

Plus, I had an obligation to slap the shit out of Julius for many non-selfish reasons. He did mentally scar Angie, dropped the ball on taking care of Livia, got seduced by some faker, and was entirely willing to let the Kingdom implode by being seduced (ignore the fact that Angie broke the engagement).

Speak of the devil, there he was.

"Leon, it's good to see you. How was your semester in the Republic?"

Initiating Plan Machismo. I decked him.

"Why?!"

"That's for giving Angie a complex about women trying to steal her fiancé!"

Honestly, I didn't plan for Plan M to succeed. I just really wanted to punch Julius in his punchable face. I wasn't even sure what I was expecting from the plan.

I will say this though. I did not expect Julius to yell "Harder!"

At first, I thought he understood how shitty he had been to Angie and wanted to make amends in whatever way he could. So I had obliged. When he screamed it again, I was a tad concerned but went along. It was only when I noticed how hard he was panting did I realize Plan Machismo had been co-opted by Julius and turned into Plan Masochism.

Very similar words in terms of letters and the number of letters. Very different meaning with the rearrangement.

I needed to take a long shower to clean the filthy feeling I had on my hands.

An additional downside was that I was now included in the royal entourage because only one of the bros could get away with kicking the shit out of the crown prince. Being considered on par with the founding heirs would make it insanely difficult to get demoted because... well just how ridiculous would it be to demote a founding heir?!

On the plus side of this experience, Angie finally accepted that I had no interest in other women and stopped giving Livia and Yumeria a hard time.

Angie now thought Julius might try to steal me from her. One step forward, two steps back. At least she made very convincing arguments about the pleasures and benefits of the female form that lasted well into the morning as to why I should never turn to the dark-side, not that I needed convincing.

I needed to get my mind off of my fiancée. As pleasant as thinking about her was, it was not helping me think of a plan to get demoted... actually...

Angie essentially got kicked to the boonies in canon. A fall from queen candidate to rural baroness. Why don't I just do what she did? Obviously not by antagonizing the fake protagonist but by being a nag to Julius. I didn't have a death wish in case Marie managed to attune to the Saintess's relics and become the Saintess.

Yeah. I could nag the shit out of Julius. Make him regret ever including me in his friend group.

Plan Nag is a go.

I began smashing my head into the wall.

How much had Julius resented my fiancée?! I was constantly hounding Julius about his behavior and etiquette. I even got Angie to give me an in depth explanation of the ins and outs of every little detail a noble of high standing should know just so I could be the very thing Julius most hated.

And he thanked me. Appreciated the effort I went through to help him prepare to be the best king he could be. Considered me a better friend than the others for not letting his shit slide. Then he recommended to the royal court that I be in contention for royal vizier/prime minister for when he became king.

Of course, this came with my court rank conditionally rising to upper rank three. I was absolutely livid.

The thing that pissed me off more was the fact that I knew the only reason why he liked what I had to say, despite me saying the same thing as Angie, was because I wasn't Angie.

The only reason as to why I hadn't murdered the brat was because Angie found my anger romantic. I was too distracted by her doting company.

Still wasn't enough to distract me from concocting another plan. I was a petty asshole. I didn't even care if the next plan would lead to my promotion. I just wanted Julius to suffer.

And what better way than to deny him his love. For Plan Olivia, I was going to collect the Saintess's relics and have Livia instated as the Saintess. Without Marie having the status of the Saintess, Julius would not be able to marry his precious Marie as she wouldn't be deemed acceptable.

It was the perfect plan for my revenge. Suffer, Julius! Suffer for being an ass to my fiancée.

And while you're suffering, unfriend me so I can get myself demoted!

I'm a fucking moron. I totally missed the fact that Julius was already engaged to Marie. With Angie breaking the engagement to be with me when I was a viscount, no one cared that the crown prince got engaged to a viscountess. Not being the first had softened the resistance and most people just assumed that this generation of high nobles wanted to get it on with lower nobles.

So all that work I did was for nothing.

Okay, that was a bit disingenuous since I instated the true Saintess. That was the only positive aspect.

Now, I was captain of Livia's guard, which necessitated that I receive my knighthood formally. Normally, I'd be pissed over getting promoted again and having more responsibilities, but I decided to accept it for what it was. I had gone into this expecting such and was fortunate enough not to have even more added to my plate.

Still wished I could have inconvenienced Julius more.

But clearly, antagonizing Julius was a lost cause. Just focus on my newest problem. I needed to shed my newfound religious significance. Both because getting demoted before losing my connection to the church could incite some holy rebellion, and because Angie was now balefully glaring at Livia again.

Angie, and much of Holfort, had now begun to ponder if Livia would develop some theologically enforced romance with me. It was due to some chimeric mashup of the Alzer and Holfort religions. With me being the Sacred Guardian and being the one to instate Livia as the Saintess... everyone came to the conclusion that I was destined to put a baby in her.

Livia's adamant denials of such did not assuage Angie of her anxieties. Nor did it calm down the masses as they constantly shipped me with her.

This was really getting out of hand.

Perhaps I should just accept my lot in life and become the social climber I naturally am. Why couldn't getting promoted in my last life have been as it was now?

Actually, that was a thought. Why don't I try getting promoted? After all, all my attempts to get demoted have gotten me promoted. Why wouldn't my attempts to get promoted get me demoted?

Proceeding with Plan Promotion.

I'll start by demanding the position of pope.

And thus I became the pope. Internally, I damned every to hell for this.

AN

1) Noelle is left stewing in the Republic... for now?

2) Masochist Julius is back.

3) Honestly, Julius probably wouldn't mind the lessons Angelica tries to impart to him if only it wasn't from Angelica specifically. Gotta be able to be convinced to become king somehow.

4) Angelica is just on a rollercoaster of emotions.

5) I kinda noticed that I have been deviating from the initial premise of the snippet. Several of the plans now aren't even about Leon trying to get demoted and he isn't getting his status raised in the typical sense. To be fair, I'm almost out of feudal and court ranks to go through. We still have Q-Z to go through.

Review Response

Zkon: How is it that my grammar checker flipped the period and the s?!

Devoidscroll66: Ah, but if you seek to get demoted by seeking a promotion, are you still not seeking a demotion. But in all seriousness, seeking a promotion is literally plan p because it starts with the letter p. Also, you're trying to apply logical reasoning to a crack fic, something you are supposed to just turn your brain off for.