Chapter 2

"Bella," she thought she heard her best friend's voice. It sounded very far away.

She turned to see her, tears streaming down her face.

"Are you okay? Of course not, what a stupid question" she reprimanded herself. "What happened?"

"The car… the road… Dimitri… my…" she couldn't finish the sentence.

"Oh Bella, do you want me to call your parents?" she felt her kneel in front of her but, for some reason, she couldn't see her well.

"It's too soon. I don't know what's going on and I don't want to see them."

"Don't take it personally, Bella, but when was the last time you took a bath?" asked my "dear" blonde-haired friend.

"For your information, Jasper, I bathe every day," I replied, annoyed at his mocking.

"Don't take this the wrong way," his wife defended him. "It's just that, every time we see you, you have that shirt on."

The laughter around the table went up another notch, and I snorted, rolling my eyes. Typical. We were like a pack of hyenas feeding on each other's misery. Today, it was me in the spotlight, but soon it'd be Jasper's turn or maybe Rosalie's for a good-natured roasting. That's the beauty of our friendship – years of accumulated dirt we could fling without anyone getting hurt. Speaking of routines, mine was tighter than a drum. Same shirt every Friday, and Friday was our sacred get-together night. The therapist swore it'd help, but honestly? Didn't seem to be changing the fact that I still felt like crap.

"Aunt Bella," said a little boy of only 6 years of age. The same age he would have… no. No more.

"Yes, Gabriel?" I replied smiling.

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?" He looked at me with a devilish smile, the same he had inherited from his father. I smiled sincerely, the way I reserved for my nieces, nephews, and my students.

"What?" I asked.

"A fsh!" he yelled before running away laughing and joining the rest of the kids, happy with our interaction.

Alice and Jasper's eldest, a mop of raven hair mirroring his mom, couldn't resist a mischievous grin as the adults chuckled. Those brown eyes, though, were all Jasper – sparklers that promised trouble to come. His musical talent, on the other hand, seemed straight out of Alice''s playbook. Little Hannah, a whirlwind of energy at four, was Alice's mini-me in every way, except maybe the mischievous streak. That one, she seemed to be all her own.

"You teach them the weirdest jokes, Bella," Rosalie said, still smiling.

She was my friend since we were in third grade and I was living in England. We had become inseparable since then. I had known Alice since we were very little because our mothers were good friends. We met again years later thanks to my connection with Jasper. His parents and mine were also great friends and he and I grew up believing we were cousins. When Alice and Jasper saw each other again as adults, it was love at second sight.

Rosalie and Alice met because of me and the three of us have been best friends ever since. At one point we had lived together in an apartment on the Washinton University campus. They had been by my side in the worst moments of my life and I loved them for it.

Rosalie and Emmett met at university. They also had two children, Sam, 6, with brown, curly hair and brown eyes, just like his dad, and Emma, 2, with violet eyes like her mother and hair just as blonde. They were typical friends who realized there was something more after several years of knowing each other. They were fucking adorable.

"But they like them and I think that's what matters. Besides, I'm incredibly funny."

They argued for a while saying that they were funnier and we joked for a while.

"Bella," I heard Alice and turned my attention to her. "Have you thought about our conversation from last time?"

I shifted uncomfortably. I looked at my hands on my lap.

"I don't know guys," I felt all their eyes on me. "I know it's been three years but the idea of going out with someone still sounds like infidelity to me."

They looked at me sympathetically.

"We have a friend who we think would be good for you. He is a lawyer and has a humor very similar to yours," Jasper suggested.

"I don't know, my husband doesn't like me going out with other men," I replied.

No one laughed. My therapist said that making jokes about it couldn't be entirely healthy, but it was the only way to keep the hole from consuming me.

"For God's sake... It's a joke!" I said frustrated. That is what I meant; My friends looked at me like I was broken. And yes, I was but I didn't want them to just see me like that.

"It was a good one," Emmett said after a few minutes. Then everyone started laughing. I laughed out of commitment.

"At least promise to consider the date," Alice said, not wanting to let the topic go.

"Okay, I'll think about it very carefully. "

"Also…" Rosalie began cautiously. "Yesterday he called me…"

"I don't want to know anything about that," I replied curtly.

"Bella... you need to know…"

"No, Rosalie. I don't need to know anything," I wanted to stop talking about it. Why couldn't she see that?

"The thing is, if you don't know, it will be too late, and you will get angrier."

"I think I'll survive."

My friends looked at me apprehensively. I wanted to change the conversation to something else. I sighed and looked at them.

"Okay, you can give the lawyer my number. But if he looks at me with pity, I swear that I will be alone forever."

Alice smiled excitedly and began talking about the man she was sticking me with. Rosalie looked at me reproachfully but I decided it would be better to ignore her. They knew that Cullen was a forbidden topic for a long time and circumstances would not change it.

I excuse myself from the table for a moment to play with the children. Not to brag but I was everyone's favorite aunt. They loved my stories about princes and dragons. They were the same ones I had told years ago and in a way, they soothed the hole in my chest, although at night the pain returned. They would ask me about the accident sometimes and I would give them short, manageable answers. The kids didn't see me as the fragile, broken person I was. They saw me as the person I used to be, whoever I was. I didn't even remember her anymore.

I said goodbye to my friends sometime later and went home to let Max out. Since he had been alone for a long time, I thought going for a run with him would be a good idea. I changed quickly and the idea of sending a photo to the chat with my new outfit crossed my mind.

Let's see if they stop thinking that I don't bathe.

I snorted a laugh and did so. I received a message at that moment from an unknown number. I sighed. I knew I would be Jasper and Alice's friend and I had promised to try and go out with him. I looked at the photo on the tablecloth. My husband and I were on the beach, he made a face since he hated the photos and I hugged him smiling. It was one of the first photos we had taken.

You must continue with your life. You will get over it and be happy with someone else.

I clenched my fists at the memory and it bothered me to think that he was even remotely right. I opened the message.

Hello! I'm Jacob, the lawyer who doesn't intend to see you with pity. Dinner next Wednesday at 6?

I looked at the message and smiled. A new smile, somewhat ironic, somewhat sarcastic, but somehow... genuine.