Ragnarok, the end of the world.
When faced with such a threat, Yato decided to be smart for once, and ran away with as much speed as he could muster without breaking the sound barrier. Thankfully nobody noticed, since they were far too busy killing themselves.
Well, he hoped they wouldn't actually kill themselves. Their target should be Aoko who could handle herself, so nobody would get hurt.
Yato clicked his tongue. "Maybe I should return there..." He felt like Emperor Nero, watching Rome burn as he did nothing.
But then again, that sounded like a pain. Also, Yato was a bit frustrated over getting interrupted during fun times.
"And I doubt I can just go back there and rush over to Hakuno to finish my business..." They would probably interrupt him out of spite or something.
And sure, he was a Campione! And as punishment for such sins he could kill them all and throw Japan into despair...! Except that would suck, because he actually really liked them. Geez, being a Campione and having emotions sucked.
With those thoughts in his head, Yato began wandering around Fuyuki.
It felt nice, mostly because he hadn't been able to do that these past few days.
Stumbling on familiar faces was also kind of nice. "Oh! It's you!" A blonde girl who he hadn't seen in a while approached him.
He waved at her. "Yo." Embarrassingly enough, it took him sometime to recall her name. "How have you been doing, Laeticia?" It was the girl who had once invited him for a date.
He had pretty much forgotten about her entirely.
In his defense, a lot had happened. He summoned Saber, and then had to... fight a god. Or at least beat a god. So even though he had been flattered by her invite, it simply wasn't all that important. It also didn't help that she hadn't even given him a number or anything.
She immediately became flustered. "I-I have been doing well, t-thank you." That was nice to hear. At least someone had been lucky these past few days. "Well, there was actually a big problem, but it solved itself..."
She tilted her head. "And I haven't made any progress with the original problem I was dealing with..." By the end she sounded heartbroken. "So maybe I haven't been doing all that well after all."
Suddenly she took a step back. "N-not that you should care of course! Sorry for suddenly dumping all of this on you." As far as Yato was concerned, she actually hadn't dumped much on him at all.
He waved her off. "It's fine. I'm willing to listen, if you want to." It sounded like a nice way to escape his own problems.
Should a soon-to-be married man really be running away with a young woman however!? Especially as his harem collapsed on itself!? Probably not, but Yato hadn't made the wisest of decisions lately, so he might as well continue the trend.
That might be the most unwise thing he had ever thought.
The girl's eyes widened. "You are!?" She sure sounded surprised. "That's... well, I wouldn't want to bother you." She... started playing with her hair? "Especially since... since you didn't even contact me after we met. You thought I was annoying, didn't you?" Annoying guys were annoying. Annoying girls were cute.
Though she wasn't annoying. "Not really. It's just that you didn't give me your number or anything." Admittedly, even if she had, he would have probably forgotten about her.
It sure did make for a fine excuse though.
The girl gasped. "I... I didn't... G-gosh, I must have forgotten about it." She started shaking. "That's so... so... embarassing." He wanted to say it wasn't... but it totally was!
Still, he at least held back his giggling. It was clear the girl already wanted to explode on the spot.
And then she stopped. An aura of confidence began emanating from her. "Hah, what a mistake..." She shook her head. "Well, it can't be helped." It was almost like she had become another person entirely.
Which is exactly what had happened.
Yato had no way of knowing this of course, but Laeticia, the normal girl, had switched places with Jeanne D'arc, legendary saint. And so, while one was screaming inside of her head, the other one could stay confident.
It also helped that Jeanne really had no stake on this. While Laeticia was a girl experiencing a crush, the saint was here more or less to support her partner.
So even though she too had no experience with romance, she could make things go smoothly enough. "However, how about I rectify that mistake?"
Yato smiled. "Sounds good." The number of a foreign woman with big tits was just what a man with a fiancee needed.
She smiled back. "Great! Then let me give you that number over some coffee!" That smile quickly turned into a smirk. "You did say you didn't mind listening to my troubles after all." Yato failed to see how that had anything to do with coffee.
But he did desperately want to escape his loveless marriage! And his broken harem! "Okay then... But only if you let me pay." Like any good man, spending money made him calmer.
And he had tons of money to spend.
"Sounds good to me!" As a farm girl, she wasn't about to turn away free food!
Laeticia had seemingly forgotten her previous embarrassment. "And that priest...! He...! Ugh!" She took a deep breath. "He's a man of god." This is how most of her talk with Yato went.
She would start complaining about something... or someone... and then quickly realized it was impolite and stop herself. Yato thought it was cute, seeing someone who so clearly, desperately wanted to rant, and yet couldn't.
There was something strange about her however. Just like before, she had suddenly changed. A bit of her previous charisma had... seemingly disappeared. She was still charming in her own way, but it was like switching from Saber to Rin.
Of course, the truth is that normal girl had taken over the body from the saint when the... date actually started.
Relying on Jeanne just a bit was fine, they were friends after all. Letting her pilot her date was a bit much however!
Yato chuckled. "I see." Well, he would respect her decision to respectfully rant. "So, about this priest. Am I right to assume he's Kirei Kotomine?" As far as he was aware, he was the only priest on town.
Laeticia gasped. "How did ya know!?"
"'Cause he's the only man of god in town and I actually know the guy..." He had been helpful. Sort of. "Or more accurately, I've talked with him a few times, and his daughter is a close friend. Still, from how she acts, I can guess how he himself acts." Caren was a... special girl.
Which meant either Kirei was some sort of freak, even if a helpful one. Or he was a cursed saint. Either way, he was also sort of blessed, because for all her flaws, Caren was lovable in her own way. And also, maybe pregnant.
He had a feeling he shouldn't bring that up right now though.
Laeticia giggled. "I have a feeling the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?" And then she covered her mouth. "Oh my, I shouldn't be saying such things." She really was a adorable.
Yato waved her off. "It's alright. You can't say bad things about strangers, but you can say bad things about friends. His daughter is my friend, therefore he is my friend. You are my friend, therefore he is your friend." Perfect logic.
Laeticia giggled. "What kind of logic is that?" A Campione's logic was never wrong! Through the filters of a Campione at least. "I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to talk bad things about your friend either."
She took a deep breath. "But if you're giving me the opportunity...!" As expected, she had been fishing for this. "He's just the worst! He starts chuckling everytime I leave the church for some reason! And he plays heavy metal when I'm about to sleep! Without headphones!" For real!?
Wait, so she was actually staying in the church?
He supposed that was possible. Caren had planned on staying there for quite a while before she had basically invaded his parent's old house. That said, she was also Kirei's daughter, not some stranger...
Welp, Laeticia was basically a stranger to him, so it was only natural he wouldn't know everything about her or her circumstances. "Does he really do the latter?" He could pity her though.
The girl basically had tears in her eyes. "Every single night..." Wow, he definitely was Caren's father. "I think he's annoyed with me though. I wasn't supposed to stay there for long, but I still haven't... haven't done what I was supposed to be doing here in Fuyuki."
Yato raised an eyebrow. "What you were supposed to be doing huh?" He tried to remember what she had told him during their short encounter. "You were... collecting rumours, right?"
She hesitantly nodded. "Yeah... I'm trying to find out something very specific." She put a finger to her chin. "Fuyuki is full of all sorts of rumors though, so it's hard to find out what is true or not."
"For example, remember that rumor about Homurahara's playboy you guys told me about?" How could he forget? It was literally about himself. "It's totally fake. Like a hundred percent plus fake." Hah!?
"It's just some... meanie rumor made to ruin the reputation of a bunch of girls." She scowled. "I mean, supposedly the most popular girl in school started a fight with a teacher because she was taking a call from the playboy during class... Totally absurd. As if that would ever happen." Y-yeah, absurd...
"So, yeah. It's just a bunch of made-up stuff made to climb the good ol' social ladder by throwing down the people who were up." She pouted. "I can't stand stuff like that, like it's straight up out of a coming of age movie."
Yato quickly nodded. "Yeah, totes. I'm on your side on this." She must never find out the truth.
Laeticia's squinted her eyes. "There are some rumours who are real though." Like the one she had just talked about? "For example... there's this girl. Hakuno Kishinami. Kind of a minor celebrity." Kind of a tease. Though it wasn't her fault.
The girl got closer, as if she telling him some national secret. "Apparently her family moved in to Fuyuki... and she just went missing one day. Left no clues or anything." Damn, that's crazy. Maybe some nutjob threw her into his non-rape room?
Laeticia leaned back. "Could be that she just decided to run away of course, but I doubt it." So did he!
"So yeah... that's what I've been up for these past few days. Just scouring the city... mostly alone." She started avoiding his eyes. "Maybe... maybe you could change that?" She knew what she was doing was wrong.
In fact, Jeanne was scolding her inside of their head.
This was meant to be just a quick reprieve from their work, one that had only been allowed to happen because Jeanne had understood Laeticia was getting a bit too frustrated with their lack of progress. It wasn't meant to be anything more than that.
That wasn't to say Jeanne was against this. But Laeticia could focus on her crush after this ordeal was over. It was a important mission, one the normal girl had agreed to.
Yato tilted his head. "You want someone to go with you?" As one would expect from an idiot, he had only half-understood what she was trying to convey.
But if nothing else, Laeticia could push through stupidity. "Y-yeah, you." She wasn't the brightest tool in the shed anyways. As one could tell from the person who she chose to be attracted to.
"Oh? I wouldn't mind showing you around Fuyuki!" It sounded like a nice way of running away from his responsibilities! "Though I don't know when I'll have free time..." He might never have free time again...
Laeticia raised an eyebrow. "Has school been tough recently?" She was not looking forward to going back to it and catching up on all the material she had missed.
Yato pouted. "Nah..." Mostly because he hadn't been going to it. "Let's just say the dynamics around my social circle changed pretty dramatically lately. Still, I'll try to make some time."
The girl nodded. "O-okay! I'm always avaliable! Like all the time!" She flinched as the saint scolded her once more. "Or at least most of the time... there's a good chance I'll be free if you call me. Yeah."
Suddenly her eyes widened. "W-wait, dynamics changed!?" She flinched. "O-oh, I have been going off on your ears while you have been going through some heavy stuff, haven't I? I'm so, so sorry!" She was just awful!
Yato thought she was just cute. "Ah, it's no biggie. I haven't lost a loved one or anything that crazy." Actually, the Soviet Harem had fallen! And he had loved that... "Besides, hearing you talk actually... made me feel a bit better."
It was strange.
Recently he had been involved with all of this crazy god stuff... Mostly due to his own choices, but still, it could and did get quite a bit overwhelming. Especially now that it was collapsing around him... still due to his own choices, of course.
But Laeticia was just a normal, albeit eccentric girl. It felt like talking with Ayako, if he hadn't suddenly blown her mind with his knowledge of the supernatural. It felt like... a glimpse of how things could have gone if nobody ever found out about him being a Campione. Or maybe if he never found out what it meant to be a Campione.
And maybe that's why he hadn't actually told her what his life was like. He wanted to preserve this normal connection.
Laeticia sputtered. "Is that so...? N-nice..." It was clear that she was holding herself back from jumping in place. "Real nice!" And then she suddenly frowned. "Though... I think my free time is pretty much over." Jeanne's patience was ag it's limits.
Yato stretched. "Well, I should probably be heading back too." He had to face the music. "Before I pay though... I gotta ask you something. Laeticia, are you bipolar?" He wanted to know more about his friend, so confirmation would be nice.
"W-what makes you say that!?" Hadn't this come a bit out of nowhere!?
Yato hummed. "It's just that... sometimes you... change, I guess. Makes me feel like I'm talking to a different person." It was definitely strange. "I'm not very perceptive though, so feel free to ignore me." Also, that had been a rude question.
Laeticia gulped. "No, it's fine... It's just that... um..." She wanted to switch with Jeanne, so the saint could fix this, but she had been warned that this would be a bad idea. Yato would definitely realize the change immediately, and call her out on it.
She took a deep breath. "Honestly, I can't really explain it. I'm not bipolar though." It was hard to deny something, when Yato had basically guessed it almost completely right.
He just couldn't understand the supernatural elements, for obvious reasons.
"If you say so..." He didn't believe her at all.
It didn't really matter though, because she was cute and her tits were big. Which meant she was worthy of his undying trust.
"I have returned!" Yato kicked the door of his mansion open.
And then he regretted it immediately, because he was pretty sure he broke something even though he was heavily containing his strength. It also didn't help that the only person around to see his epic entrance had been his father.
"Oh. Hey Yato, please end World War III." When did that start!? "And before you think I'm being literal, I'm making a metaphor to talk about how your harem is about to slaughter each other."
Yato tilted his head. "Huh. I thought they would only slaughter Aoko." Things must have progressed even more than he previously thought. He might as well be stepping foot in a unknown battlefield. "By the way, why start with a metaphor."
His father chuckled. "To sound cool." Wow. "Leaving that aside though, I'm surprised you came back so quickly. I was afraid poor Luvia would need to hold back the end for even longer." So much like a lone, legendary warrior, she was holding onto the remains of the Soviet Harem.
He would have to thank Luvia later.
Yato smiled. "Normally I would have probably taken more time to comeback, but thankfully I stumbled onto a fateful encounter that raised my spirits up." Is that the amazing Campione luck he had heard so much about?
Now Yaboku was interested. "A fateful encounter? With who?" Hopefully a guy. His son seriously needed a friend who wasn't a chick. For his own health, if nothing else.
"A girl named Laeticia." Of course. "We went into a date where I listened to all her troubles and made her feel better about herself. Oh, and I also paid for it. Like a gentleman." Who also happened to be rich.
Non-rich gentlemen should just split the bill.
Yaboku pinched his nose. "I see... So while your harem was collapsing on itself, you were out going on a date with another girl?" He certainly had gotten the more noteworthy traits from his parents.
He sent his father a thumbs up. "Yep! And now I'm ready to accept the inequality and coldness of capitalism!" Not all girls were the same.
"Yato... what is that even supposed to mean?" Well-. "Nevermind. Don't answer it." Why ask then? "Just... just make sure the girls don't learn about your little adventure. Your life... everyone's lives depends on it."
"I don't really get why, but sure." Oh, he was gonna lie to his wife about how he had totally not gone out with a hot foreigner.
Spicy.
AN: I read Webtoon Character Na Kang Lim recently... probably the first webtoon which I genuinely enjoyed for something besides pretty art. I wanna write something about it one day.
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