"A... a date?" The goddess seemed clearly surprised at his invitation.
He couldn't blame her for it. Not only because he didn't tend to be a particularly romantic individual, but also because it was clear there was lots of confusion amongst his harem right now.
He nodded. "A date! We can go on... a fancy dinner or something!" He hadn't made any reservations, but Luvia had guaranteed she would manage to come up with something.
It also helped that he had crazy amounts of money to throw around. No place would reject a million yen to the face, even if it came without a previous warning.
Her tears immediately stopped falling. "You... are you truly inviting me on a date?" The goddess looked like she had just found Akasha.
Her eyes were filled with wondrous curiosity, desperate to know whether she was about to be consumed by an eldritch entity or not. She was an idiot, because Yato was basically an eldritch entity and he had consumed her a long time ago.
Yato nodded. "Yeah, I want to make my feelings for you clear. I really do appreciate you, ya know?" Probably not in the way she thought however.
He didn't have the same feelings a husband had for a wife when it came to Skadi... or at least he thought he didn't. The truth is that Yato was too young to even know how to identify those feelings.
But he did see her like a guy's first decently older girlfriend. The type who helps you out when you can't understand something, is willing to help you out with cash occasionally, and... also has pretty good sex with you.
He naturally also saw her as a conquest. That was more due to his Campione side than anything else however.
Skadi clasped her hands together. "I see! Then I would gladly go on a date with you! We skipped the courtship stage and went straight to marriage, so it's only appropriate!" They weren't married though.
Yato chuckled as he got up. "Hah, you can't skip courtship Skadi, it's always happening. And trust me, dates when you're married are supposed to be the best." Yato was a guy who stopped putting effort once he got a girl, but he understood that wasn't how things were supposed to be.
Basically, a trash bag could still look upon a dazzling sun and realize which one was better. It was the trash bag, fuck starts.
The goddess had a indescribable smile. "Well then... let us onto the death."
He winked. "I will." Luvia will.
The place they were currently dining on was way above his usual level... when it came to appearance. It wouldn't surprise him if the food here didn't actually match the food made by people like Shiro or Rin, especially since it's not like Fuyuki had the best restaurants in all of Japan or anything.
Well, he supposed ambience had to count for something... If nothing else, Skadi looked happy.
Her eyes were roaming around the restaurant. "This place is so magical, oh my." In fact she hadn't even bothered to look at her food a single time. Was there something special here he wasn't seeing?
He couldn't help, but raise an eyebrow. "Is it tho—." And then he stopped himself at the last minute. "Yeah, you're so right. It's totally magical." This was her day. If she thought it was magical, then it was magical.
In times like this, it was better to just nod and agree. If he started complaining, he could sour her happy mood.
Sadly, he had gone too far and Skadi had seen through him. "Is there something about this place that displeases you, my darling snow katana?" Wow, she really was running out of nicknames if that's what she was using.
He looked away. "Not really..." He could only curse his lack of intelligence! A normal person would have definitely managed to mask their disappointment.
Actually, a normal person would have probably saved the Soviet Harem one way or another. Alas, Yato was not a normal person.
So maybe he should go about this like Yato. "Actually... it's not that this place is bad or anything. I'm just wondering why you like it some much." Now that he thought about it, he really regretted bring her here.
First of all, dates like these were all super cliche. Sure, they were cliche for a reason, but shouldn't he have come up with something better when his harem was at stake? Then again, Luvia had come up with this! He could blame her!
Except not really... it was amazing she had even managed to help him this much.
Second of all, this place was filled with humans. Skadi clearly cared not about them, so he should have found a date with a more empty atmosphere. Like maybe walking together at the pier or something.
She hummed. "Why I like it...? I suppose it's just because it is so filled with life. That goes for the entire city of course, but this place is special. It's not something that could have ever existed back in my world." Ah.
Right. There definitely weren't any super expensive restaurants in a place where ice giants controlled everything. In fact, the whole world had basically become a cheap restaurant.
Still... "Aren't you mad with all the humans here?" She was a goddess. One who didn't care for his harem, and one who would probably hate him if he didn't have the greatest dick game in all of history.
Ah yes, thrusting his hips like a monkey. Truly a unmatched technique.
She shook her head. "Not at all. I love all life." That was funny, coming from a snow queen. "Of course that means a life where everyone is equal would be better, but this is acceptable as well. A world ruled by humans is fair more pleasent than one ruled by ice giants." And when she said every life, she meant it.
Much like the planet, Skadi would have preferred if there were no social distinctions between a human, a dog, and whatever else. With the only exception being that the terminals of Gaia naturally had to be above all.
It was an alien mindset to humans. And even if Campione also had alien mindsets, this one in particular was also alien to them.
However... that mindset had admittedly become more twisted across the years. "However, there is one more reason why this place shines oh-so much." Yes, she had made a mistake.
A twisted mistake that many other creatures like her had made throughout the eras. That mistake was also part of the reason why nowadays the planet was made of two parts.
She had fallen for a human. "That reason is you. This is the place you took me in for our first date." Ah.
Yato got up from his chair. "Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom real quick." He needed to run away immediately.
Skadi's eyes widened. "O-okay?" It went without saying that she was expecting a more romantic response from her partner. But this was Yato, so who knew what was going through his mind.
He nodded and made his way to the restroom.
Once there, he let a sigh of relief from his mouth. The place was pretty empty, so it would suit his needs! Those needs being calling his assistant, and concubine, for help of course!
He called Luvia. "Yo, I'm in a tough situation." She picked up the call immediately, she wasn't a fool, and so she knew she had to remain on stand-by until this date had reached its conclusion.
"Already?" She was expecting him to last longer!
Yato could be... was very dumb, but if nothing else he was good at manipulating women! Perhaps this was something brought upon by something else entirely? Not all mistakes were his fault.
He nodded. "Yeah, Skadi is way too happy." This date was turning out to be a massive failure! Had he gotten way too cocky since Luvia was easy!? "I think I got way too cocky, since you're easy."
She blushed. "What's that supposed to mean!?" And her shouting almost destroyed his eardrums. "I'll have you know I can play very hard to get and—." Nevermind that, she could lecture him later.
"Why is it bad that Skadi is super happy? Wasn't that the goal?" Mission accomplished. Now they could move on to the next target if Yato felt like he could keep going.
He sighed. "It's not bad... but isn't it overly suspicious? Shouldn't she be a bit more mad at me?" At first he had assumed she had simply turned from anger to desperation.
However, he now had his doubts. She didn't sound like she was desperately trying to please him anymore. She just sounded like a happy woman... Which meant she was definitely planning something nefarious.
And since she was way smarter than him, he would have to rely on Luvia to dodge any traps.
Luvia clicked her tongue. "I see what you mean, but it's not like I can tell you why. Like I said before, Skadi is pretty hard to read since she never talks with me." What a useful advisor!
"In the end the only advice I can give you is too keep going, while maintaining caution." So basically what he already planned to do.
Except she added the caution part!
"Got it. Man, I really wish we could do my idea of how this advice thing was supposed to go..." In his idea they would have a little radion on his ear, and she would guide him along!
They couldn't find a place to buy something like that at this hour however, so he had to rely on phone. And since he couldn't take out his phone in front of Skadi, he would need to run away any time he needed advice.
In the end he was forced to end the call and return to the table.
Skadi had been awaiting for him, Yato came with back with a smile. "Yo, sorry that I took so long." She totally thought he had left to take a poop!
She didn't want to talk about that however, obviously! "Worry not, let's just move along." Seriously.
"Right. So... are you secretly planning on getting revenge on me and that's why you're so happy out of nowhere...!?" Caution. He was being cautious enough to learn her intentions before talking with her any further!
Skadi leaned back, and tilted her head. "Revenge...? Are we having this talk again?" Huh, this wasn't the first time now that he thought about it...
Back when she was preparing to kill Tamamo-No-Mae, her loyalty was something everyone was thinking about. And she had proved herself over and over again, so the goddess was undoubtedly frustrated at this situation.
She shook her head. "Of course I'm not planning any type of revenge." Saying it like that just made her even more suspicious! "Tell me, where has this feeling even come from!?" From his brain. Which tended to be wrong.
He looked away. "It's just that... aren't you a bit too forgiving after I screwed up?"
She chuckled. "Oh, if you admit it was a screw up then I'm fine with lending you forgiveness." Well, he didn't plan on stopping the marriage with Aoko, so she might get angry again on the future. "Every husband makes mistakes after all."
And since Skadi was a goddess, she was actually expecting mistakes of much more grievous proportions. Really, it was like every divinity had a crazy story involving love one way or another. Maybe that was just the consequence of living for a long time however.
She continued. "And besides, the only reason why I have a husband I can forgive in the first place is due to you." Yes, he had given her everything she currently had. There was no way she could stay mad at him for long.
Yato raised a shaking hand. "Wouldn't brog—, Gilgamesh gain some of the credit?" One couldn't forget about the King of Heroes.
She scowled. "He suddenly summoned me and tied me up with chains filled with anti-divinity. I despise that man."
Yato had to hold back on saying his treatment of her wasn't much better. He had walked enough death traps for the day. And honestly, it was probably time to end the day.
So he didn't bother defending the golden man either. "Right. Whatever you say... but Skadi, I have something to tell you." He couldn't hide this from her for forever.
She raised an eyebrow. "And that something is...?" Hopefully her mood wasn't about to get ruined.
"I... well, I'm gonna invite everyone to a date." Hopefully learning that wouldn't make her turn coat. Actually, he was kind of trying to make her turn coat right now. "Because I want to calm everyone down."
Skadi immediately understood what he was saying. "Oh? At least you had the decency of inviting your wife first." She could more or less figure out what he meant.
He would invite everyone to dates to calm them down, and so he was hoping she wouldn't get mad over this... Honestly, she didn't care for those concubines as long as they knew their place. Even that Aoko Aozaki girl would be fine as long as she accepted just being a piece of meat.
Yes, as a goddess she could accept her husband laying with lowly human women...
It's worth noting that Skadi was being completely delusional. No goddess would simply accept their Campione lover having sex with other women simply because they were lesser beings, unless that goddess also happened to be crazy that is. In essence, Skadi was using what remained of her pride to survive.
And soon Yato would shatter that. As he usually did. "Actually, the first person I invited was Luvia." And he only invited Skadi so early because she was the only person who would accept his invitation when it was so late.
The goddess gasped. "H-Husband...! Why must you hang yourself with every rope thrown your way!?" The shock from his admission had consumed any anger she could have felt.
There were many stories of powerful warriors saying the wrong things to the wrong person and paying a great price for it. And her husband was like if those stories all joined together and were brought to life in a human turned Campione vessel!
Yato tilted his head. "I mean... I don't want to lie to you." He was being such a little liar right now. He almost wanted to giggle. "Isn't it better for a husband to be honest with his wife." This entire date was build on a lie.
He hadn't outright said it, but it was clear that Skadi was assuming everything would go back to normal after this. That she would go back to being his... wife, and that Aoko would get kicked away from that spot. Since Yato had no intention of that happening, this was all a lie.
She blushed. "I-in that case, fine. You did the right thing just now."
He nodded. "I'm glad you see it. So let me keep on clarifying. Luvia was my first harem date... or something like that. My first actual date of the day was with a girl you never even met!" She may also have a mental illness.
That blush of hers quickly disappeared. "A-are you bragging!?" To a certain extent, yes.
And by that he meant totally. In his defense, that was like the first date he had ever gone in where his status as a Campione wasn't involved in any shape or form. It almost felt funny bringing that up when in the middle of this date.
Yato cleared his throat. "That isn't important right now." It totally was. "I'm just being honest. Just like I am now currently honestly asking for your love, cooperation, and help." This was like he was proposing to her! So she had to accept, right?
Skadi sputtered. "How unfair...! As a wife there is no way I could reject such words!" As expected! "What exactly do you need help with, however?" The goddess seemed genuinely worried.
Huh... it seemed she really had throw out any thoughts of revenge away from her brain. How strange... and how nice. Yeah, it was nice to know someone cared so much about him... still a concubine though!
He still appreciated it though! "I need help with this whole... harem thing. Like with dates and stuff." He could have just asked her to stay in the back lines of course, especially since he already had Luvia as an assistant.
But Skadi was just way too useful. A genuine in the most common sense, and a genius in the magecraft sense. Her powers and knowledge could shift the balance of this world if given enough time.
So naturally she was just the perfect person to help him manipulate a bunch of girls into accepting his presence again!
She groaned. "Of course that is what you need my assistance with... I suppose it's better than asking for my help to go on a suicidal heroic quest if nothing else." A surprisingly common thing amongst divinity.
She took a deep breath. "Well, as a wife... It is my duty to herd those cows when they start to rebel." Luvia would actually cry if she was here. "So yes, I shall help you to the best of my ability."
Um... a wife has to help her husband when it came to things like this? Did that mean Yato should call upon Aoko's help? Well, he didn't even know what she was doing right now, but it was something to keep in mind for the future.
For now however, he would just be glad to have Skadi on his side again. "Awesome. Now let's bounce, I'm seriously tired of people whispering about you being my mom or my aunt or something." He was a teenager, while she was an adult, so people were making assumptions.
If Aoko was on her place, she would start crying.
AN: I'm glad Scáthach is now forever an aunt.