THC, Slytherin, Muggle Studies, Standard.

Prompts: [Character] Bellatrix Lestrange, [Object] Letter

Bonus prompts: [Lyric prompt] "I know there is hope in these waters/ But I can't bring myself to swim/When I am drowning in this silence/ Baby, let me inGo easy on me, baby/ I was still a child/ Didn't get the chance to/ Feel the world around me/ I had no time to choose/ What I chose to do/ So go easy on me" From 'Easy On Me', by Adele
[Quote] The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. - Amelia Earhart

Note: In this Bellatrix is the youngest sister.

Word count: 1975

Beta(s): Aya, Ash, Dhrish

One thing that had never changed about Bellatrix Black was her eccentric nature. Even as a child she struggled to stay still or remain within the bounds others seemed to naturally follow. She loved to bounce around, find interesting things and facts about places she went. She experimented with anything she found; she never cared about any natural consequences another child might have, such as getting hurt, and she was never afraid to get in somebody's face.

However, young Bellatrix was a very different young child when faced with her parents or extended family. Especially in front of the adult members.

While her eyes remained alive, the rest of her became nothing but a shell. She had learnt very quickly that her opinion did not matter to her elders, that she would be punished if she said something wrong—and she had done that often.

Currently, she was standing in front of her parents, with her sisters to her left, wondering when she would be able to get away from them all. Why wouldn't they let her go? Then she could choose how to spend the day. It was times like this that she tried to close her mind down to avoid being drowned by their opinions.

Silence suddenly filled the empty space and Bellatrix held her breath. Hoping that she wouldn't need to parrot their opinions. Hoping that her parents would go easy on her for once. But, as always, that was not the case.

"Bellatrix." Her father's firm voice demanded her attention. "Are you listening?"

"Yes, Father," she replied obediently, blandly. Her voice had turned almost monotone.

"Tell me," he demanded.

"Mudbloods are stealing our magic. We must stand up against them. They are beneath us."

Her father patted her on the head, making her feel further like a pet bird than a child. Further silencing her thoughts. "Good girl."

Bellatrix looked up at Andromeda and Narcissa; they both had started Hogwarts and had encountered these magic-sucking beings. They had told Bellatrix how disgusting it was to be in their presence. Her sisters were often tested when Bellatrix wasn't around; she was too young to understand the importance of the 'movement'. Bellatrix didn't mind. She had an old wand hidden in one of the outside sheds that she was yearning to practice her magic with. She didn't have time to be here, she wanted to choose her own path, and that included the destruction of… well… anything!

"It's time you three take this more seriously," her mother stated, knitting needles poised in one hand. "You are all growing up into fine young women and you will need to marry fine pureblood men in the future."

Bellatrix had to hold back a sigh. Her mother had said 'three of them'. She had to do yet another task to prove she understood how to be a young lady and who was the enemy. She was bored. Very bored. She'd rather do anything right now than listen to yet another 'lesson'. Her mother's lessons always made her feel like she was drowning, and despite knowing that she could walk away and she wasn't actually drowning, she felt trapped. She remembered the feeling of dread, boredom, and irritation whenever she was stuck doing lessons with her parents. She just hoped Hogwarts was more fun. She couldn't wait to get her Hogwarts letter.

Eleven-year-old Bellatrix walked confidently up to the Sorting Hat, sat on the stall, and readied herself to march over to where she belonged. Slytherin. She slipped her hand into her robes to hold onto the letter inviting her to Hogwarts, it was the start of her education into all things magical.

"Hmm, very interesting mind. Prepared like a Ravenclaw. But what's that I see? Courage beyond your years, you'd exceed in Gryffindor."

Waves crashed over her mind in horror. 'No! No!' she thought horrified. 'I must be in Slytherin. They'll kill me otherwise'.

"You could overcome this fear with those you'd meet."

'Slytherin,' she thought harshly. How dare this hat try to trick her into choosing the wrong house filled with Mudbloods and Blood Traitors!

"Very well."

SLYTHERIN.

Bellatrix felt the relief drain out the drowned feeling and walked over to the Slytherin table with as much grace as she could muster. That was a close call. She would not want to deal with her parents if the hat had put her in the wrong house.

Bellatrix's heart remained to beat heavily as she looked at the Hogwarts letter; she hadn't expected this place to test her loyalties to her family so quickly. She creased up the letter, wondering if holding onto it to remember how she had gotten here had been a sign of weakness in the Sorting Hat's mind.

After an anxious night of twisting and turning in the silk green sheets, Bellatrix couldn't stop thinking about the words from the Sorting Hat. You'd exceed in Gryffindor. How had she failed her parents so quickly? How could she have not been strong enough to be the true Slytherin her family deserved? She would have to be better. More Slytherin. She needed to follow the teachings of her family more rigidly to ensure that they never knew she might have not been in Slytherin.

When the other students began to stir, Bellatrix sat up with a frown on her face and clearly stated, "Isn't it disgusting that we have to share a castle with Mudbloods?"

She received confused looks with a few of them nodding. "Disrespectful to our family lines," another agreed.

Bellatrix nodded and stood up. Her parents were right. "Let's not be deterred or tricked into believing anything else."

Going down to the Great Hall for breakfast, Bellatrix was once again confident that she was back on track to be the good Black girl her parents wanted. She happily dug into the food provided—after all, it was made for her—and chatted with those around her about the upcoming classes.

The excitement on others' faces as owls flew into the room was the opposite of how she felt. What if they knew she had already betrayed them in her mind? What if they had heard how long it took her to convince the Sorting Hat to put her into Slytherin?

A letter dropped down onto her plate and she quickly tore into it. She just had to know.

Slytherin. Good.

Follow our ways.

Bellatrix knew that was her father's handwriting. She needed to do more to impress him. Andromeda was a good daughter; Narcissa however hadn't been receiving as much praise. Bellatrix needed to be better than both of them.

After careful deliberation, a smirk made its way to her face. She pulled out a pen and wrote 'Mudbloods' at the back of her father's letter. She made it her task to identify all Mudbloods in the school before she went back home for Christmas. That way, her family would see that she was dedicated to the cause. Although that drowning feeling came back. The need to grasp for air or swim away filled all of her senses for a few moments. But she pushed it as far down as she could.

Unfortunately, the eccentric child became an eccentric teenager, and Bellatrix Black was known for doing questionable things. From hexing a fellow pupil for looking at her funny to creating random potions, to getting Outstanding her projects. Slowly, over the weeks, months, terms, and years, Bellatrix had become well-known for her eccentric projects and less for her randomly attacking others. The professors held her in a higher light academically - though, not when it came to written work. Bellatrix never slowed down enough to ensure her writing was legible.

This, unfortunately, caused her issues at home. She continued to shut down when she was 'taught' what she must be doing and believing. And it wasn't because she disagreed with her family's values—she very much so agreed with them—it was because she found it all boring, repetitive, and wanted to escape from the boredom.

Their thoughts drowned her creativity. She wanted to get away, to break free from their grasp. To swim as far away as she could from them. But she knew she couldn't. Life didn't work like that. You couldn't just go against your family. That didn't happen; she knew that.

Until it did.

Until she received a letter from her parents about the disgusting betrayal of her oldest sister. When she found out that she could never speak to her again. Never even get an explanation.

Her older sister Andromeda fled away from her and her family to marry a Mudblood. A dirty man with dirty blood. It made her feel sick to the stomach. She literally wanted to vomit every time somebody mentioned her sister being with a Mudblood.

Bellatrix had squeezed the letter tightly in one hand, creasing it permanently before quickly retreating to the Slytherin Common Room.

Once again, she looked at it.

Bellatrix,

Andromeda has turned against us.

She has left the family for a Mudblood.

She is no longer your sister and any attempt to contact her will result in your disownment from the family.

Father.

It didn't make sense. Why would Andromeda leave? How could she leave and not be killed? Disowned only?

Bellatrix threw the letter into the fire. She couldn't let go of the chance that anybody might come across the letter of her sister's betrayal.

But, little did she know that the letter's contents would affect her future outlook on how she lived her life.

When it came time for Bellatrix to decide what to do with her life, she knew that she could leave her family. That she could follow her own path and not her family's. Of course, she might get disowned, so it wasn't an easy decision, but there was a possibility.

"What are you going to do?" Narcissa asked her with hushed tones.

"I don't want to be in a war, I want to travel," Bellatrix replied, falling down on her bed. "I'm eighteen, I'm too young to die! Too young to get married to a boring man and spend forever with him."

"They'll disown you if you leave."

"But it's not like I'm going to marry a blood-traitor or anything! I just want a few years of freedom!"

Narcissa shook her head. "It's your decision. But just like I told Andro, it's a stupid decision to cross our parents and if you get disowned, that means we aren't, we can't be, sisters anymore."

"Cissy…" Bellatrix pouted.

"What do you want me to say? Go and get disowned, but your big sis will be here for you and keep sending you letters until you get back?"

Bellatrix huffed. "That would be nice!"

Narcissa stood up, moving her long black hair out of her face. "Whatever you do, I don't care, just wait until after my wedding to Lucius next week. I at least want one sister there without causing a scene."

Bellatrix nodded, agreeing to wait. At least it gave her a little more time to make a decision. It was difficult to work out what to do. She wanted to go, but the act of actually leaving petrified her. She spent the rest of the night awake, thinking through all of her options, and writing the letters that needed to be written. If she left they would deserve to know the reasons, she wouldn't leave her parents without physical evidence of her choices.

By the time the morning sun glared into her room, the young Black knew what she was going to do. She was going to be the third Black in three years to be disowned. Following Andromeda and Sirius into the unknown. But for her, it wasn't to marry a Mudblood or hang out with Blood Traitors, it was to see the world.