Author's Note: Don't have anything to say right now, so I'll see you at the end.
Reviews:
Dunsparce519: Thank you! I'm glad you liked Genocide Jack's inclusion, as well as Shuichi and Kaito's interactions, they were fun to write.
Hope you enjoy the episode!
"People have always been drawn to the beauty of the sea. But that's not where we were last time! Mikan's surfing adventure turned trailer park when a twister ruined her fun, and Ibuki was stripped bare. Heheh. Leon's wicked moves won the Gaphers the first challenge, but while their sandcastle was decent, victory went to the Grips, thanks to Ibuki's quick thinking! Tied at one apiece, the Gaphers were crowned the Watusi winners when Ibuki tripped and got sand in her eye, scoring them a Hawaiian-style luau."
The shot changed to Chris walking through the beach set. "With only thirteen left, which team will get the upper hand? Find out next, on...
Total...
Drama...
Action!"
Episode Five: 3:10 to Losertown
The episode opened outside the cast trailers, where the sun beamed down on the campers relentlessly.
Komaru sat on the steps of the girls' trailer, trying to catch the shade from the canopy, Ibuki was slumped on the ground next to her, Mikan and Tenko sat on a nearby bench, while Komaru and Kazuichi scrunched up together in a kiddie pool, all looking generally uncomfortable.
Leon leaned out of the window of the boys' trailer, looking similarly worse for wear. "Who the hell... allowed it... to be this hot?"
CONFESSIONAL - LEON:
"Look, I'm no stranger to doing stuff in the heat," he said, utilizing the small fan on the dressing table, "but that doesn't mean I have to like it. If only there was a water boy out here..."
The door of the boys' trailer opened, and Shuichi came out and stumbled down the steps, only to promptly collapse when he made it to the ground, making a nearby Mondo raise an eyebrow at him.
"You good, bro?"
CONFESSIONAL - SHUICHI:
"Kaito and I stayed up last night doing some training," he explained with a yawn. "I wish we hadn't done it so late, though..." He yawned again. "And this heat isn't doing me any favors."
Kaito was the next one to exit the boys' trailer, though something looked noticeably off about his appearance—namely, his hair wasn't spiked-up like it usually was, instead laid down, barely reaching below his neck. Several of the campers within sight of him stared at him.
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, crossing his arms. "I already know."
CONFESSIONAL - KAITO:
"In my defense, it's too hot to do anything! Even trying to do my hair almost made me pass out!" He ran a hand through it and breathed out a sigh. "Whatever. It'll only be like this for a day, tops!"
A western tune took over as Chris stepped into view, wearing a cowboy hat, and a toothpick sticking out of his mouth. He cocked the revolver in his hand and fired a shot into the air, startling most of the camper, with Mikan covering her ears.
"Come on, man, what the heck was that for?!" Kazuichi snapped.
"Take it easy," Chris said, twirling the revolvers in his hands. "Guns are loaded with blanks." He blew off the smoke off the one he shot, before hoistering them. "At least, I'm pretty sure one of 'em is." He broke into a cowboy drawl, continuing with, "Since there's no beatin' the heat, we're goin' west this week! There's a town meeting at high noon! Be there, or I'll drive you deadbeats outta town!"
Chris watched the watch in his hand as it ticked down to noon as he stood in the western set; a single tumbleweed blew through the road, only for it to instantaneously incinerate the moment it stopped. All of the contestants stood in a line in front of him, desperately trying to shield themselves from the heat.
"Listen up, pardners!" Chris announced, walking down the line. "In any good western, there are heroes, outlaws, horses, and pretty dames. The hero defeats the outlaw, then rides off into the sunset on the horse."
"What about the pretty dame?" Komaru asked excitedly.
"None of your beeswax!" Chris snapped, making Komaru flinch, before laughing and ruffling her hair. "Just messin' with ya! They usually hang out in the saloon during the bar brawl."
"Personally, if I were a dame, I'd be in the middle of the action," Mukuro said.
Junko snorted. "I thought dames were supposed to be pretty."
Mukuro side-eyed her sister and, surprising both herself and the other contestants, shoved her into a nearby water trough. "Sorry," she immediately apologized. "You're just... irritating me right now."
"Enough with the comedy routine!" Chris interrupted. "All eyes on me! Time for your first challenge! No cowboy worth spittin' at would go one day without saddle practice. Time to saddle up!"
He gestured over to an old-looking horse drinking out of a metal bucket.
"That's the best steed we could afford?!" Chris asked Chef, who was working on an adding machine in a nearby building.
"You want a five-star hotel, and champagne, and caviar for breakfast?" Chef shot back. "I gotta cut somewhere!"
"It's perfect!" Chris grinned. "Don't change a thing!"
CONFESSIONAL - KOMARU:
"I love horses!" she squealed. "They're so majestic, and I've always wanted to ride one."
CONFESSIONAL - KAITO:
"I tried to ride a horse when I was seven or eight at the petting zoo," he explained with a light chuckle, "but Ma and Pops stopped me. Good times."
"You call this a challenge?" Kazuichi scoffed, going over to the horse, about to climb on it.
"Not so fast," Chris interrupted. "You cowboys and cowbabes are gonna have to mount the steed from up there." He pointed up at the railing around the water tower that a ladder led up to. "Not there, way up there!" The camera panned to show another ladder leading up to a diving board suspended high above the horse. "Since the Gaphers won last week, they go first."
Mikan and Shuichi exchanged anxious looks at that, to which Chris said, "Don't worry, our unpaid interns have assured us it's safe."
He gave a small nod over to Chef, and the footage flashed back to him standing on the diving board, stomping on the hands of an intern frantically hanging to the edge of the board.
"No! NO!" After another kick, the intern was sent plummeting down with an audible crashing sound.
"Looks safe to me," Chef chuckled darkly.
Back in real time, the Gaphers stared at Chris apprehensively while Tenko glared at him. "If we won last week, why do we have to go first?!"
"Because I said so," he responded. "And I'm your host, Chris McLean."
"Ugh." Tenko grumbled and looked up at the diving board, then down at the horse. "That's going to hurt coming down."
"I'll go first, if it'll make you feel better," Mukuro offered. "And before you say anything, it's not a big deal."
"Y-Yes, actually, if you don't mind..." Tenko shyly fiddled with her fingers.
"Good luck," Kaito told Mukuro.
"Thanks." Mukuro gave her girlfriend a peck on the cheek before looking up at the diving board again. "Well, here goes nothing." She started towards the ladder.
"Don't lose this for us!" Leon shouted at her.
"I won't!" Mukuro shouted back as she started climbing up the ladder. When she reached the top, she looked over the edge and her brows raised before she steeled herself. Straightening her shoulders, she jumped. She landed on the oblivious horse idling in the center of the bullseye painted on the ground, which whined at the impact.
"...Are you okay?" Tenko hesitantly asked.
Mukuro didn't respond at first, looking rather dazed, but she managed to snap out of it quickly and dismounted the horse. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. You did say it was going to be a rough landing."
Chris laughed. "That was awesome, Mukuro! Gaphers, 1. Grips, you're up!"
"I'll jump," Mondo volunteered, walking over to the ladder as his team watched.
"Good luck, dude!" Yasuhiro called to him.
"Thanks," Mondo replied as he began climbing, "but I don't need it."
Yasuhiro laughed. "If you say so!"
At the top, Mondo wasted no time and simply jumped off the diving board. He ended up missing the target completely, however, as the horse quickly moved out the way, and Mondo hit the ground, making his teammates wince.
"Yeesh," Chris winced, "glad it wasn't me! Gaphers, 1; Grips, zip! Shuichi, you're up!"
The camera showed Shuichi falling in mid-air. Like Mondo, he missed the horse, but he landed on the fence that bordered the set. Leon jumped soon after, managing to successfully land on the horse.
"Good job sticking the landing, Leon," Chris complimented. "Shuichi, not so much."
"You okay, man?" Kaito asked.
"Yeah..." Shuichi groaned, slowly but surely pushing himself off the fence.
"Gaphers, 2; Grips, zilch!" Chris announced.
"W-Well, are you gonna jump?" Toko asked Komaru expectantly.
"I'll jump if you jump," Komaru responded.
Toko bit on her fingernail. "Fine."
The girls climbed up the ladder and held hands as they jumped together, both of them screaming as they fell. They were shown landing on the horse, eyes screwed tightly shut. Komaru was the first one to slowly open her eyes, gasping. "Oh my god! We made it!"
Toko opened her eyes soon after. "W-We... We did?" She looked around. "We did!"
Mikan was the next one to jump, whimpering as she fell slowly, using her apron as a makeshift parachute. Unfortunately, a gust of wind sent her off-course, and her teammates could only watch helplessly as she flew towards the electrical wires.
Flickering lights and a buzzing sound could be heard at the same time Mikan shrieked.
"Hey, are you going to send someone to help Mikan?!" Tenko asked Chris.
The smiling host began to laugh, but the footage paused and pulled out to show the control room; Chris was standing there, reading off a piece of paper in his hands with a serious look on his face. "We here at Total Drama Action care about the health and welfare of our..." He squinted and raised the papers to his face. "... competitors. Furthermore, no animals were harmed in the making of this show."
Junko was next, standing on the diving board with an amused smile. She closed her eyes and jumped, and the horse turned its head to look at the barn next to it. A crash made it jump, and the horse looked back to see that Junko had landed in the bucket in front of it.
The horse was drinking out of the slightly bent bucket again when Kazuichi and Yasuhiro went up. "God, I hope I don't land on this horse the wrong way ..." Kazuichi whispered to himself.
He took a deep breath and both the boys jumped. They landed on the ground seconds later, Kazuichi with a pained look. "I landed the wrong way," he wheezed out.
Ibuki fell down next. She landed on the target, and her teammates cheered for her as she gave them an unfazed smile.
"Alright," Chris said, looking at the teams. "The Grips hold the lead by one point. Tenko, Kaito, it's up to you two to break the tie. Who wants to take one for their team?"
"After you, fellow teammate!" Tenko said, pushing Kaito forward.
"Nah, I'm gonna let you handle this one." Kaito pulled Tenko forward.
Tenko and Kaito both found themselves standing at the ladder, glaring each other down as they grabbed it at the same time and began climbing.
"You should invest in cutting your hair," Kaito told him. "It totally gets in the way of everything!"
"At least my hair doesn't make me look like a wet dog," Tenko shot back.
"Hey, my hair does not make me look like a wet dog!" Kaito defended as they reached the top. "It's the heat's fault!"
In his rage, Kaito shoved Tenko off the diving board. Tenko caught his hand in the nick of time, taking him with her.
They fell, but didn't land on the horse. Or on the ground at all, for that matter.
"Where the hell did they...?" Mondo trailed off as he and the others looked up to see they had gotten caught by their pants on the weather vane on top of the barn.
Kaito and Tenko groaned while Chris laughed. "This is your fault," she accused Kaito, only for her skirt to start tearing. "Uh-oh."
She screamed as she fell completely, landing on the horse on her back. "Ha!" Tenko laughed. "I did it!"
"And with that, the teams are tied at three apiece!" Chris began walking off, and the castmates followed him. "To the next challenge for the tiebreaker, cowpokes!"
As he and the castmates started to walk off, Kaito shouted, "Hey, is someone gonna help me down or what?!"
Shuichi and Mikan were the only ones on his team to stay back, about to help him when the scene faded to black.
A western tune played once again as a tumbleweed passed through the set, and Chris approached the two teams.
"The hallmark of any good western is the quick-draw cowboy showdown! Captains will pick their strongest cowpoke to compete in what will likely be... a fight to the death!" He laughed, but his cellphone began to ring and he took it out of his pocket to answer it. "Yello? Uh-huh. I see. Fine." He ended the call with a beep. "Our lawyers have informed me that you may shoot until someone is mildly injured, or cries like a little baby. But a fight to the death is strictly prohibited. Time to pick your cowboys!"
"We pick Mukuro for the challenge!" Tenko offered.
Junko scoffed. "Well, that's not surprising." Tenko responded with a sharp look, and she added, "Hey, I didn't say I was against it."
"Okay," Chris said, looking over at the other team. "And Grips?"
Yasuhiro's hand shot up, much to the varying reactions of his teammates. "I can win the challenge for us!"
"Yeah, right!" Kazuichi protested. "Like we're gonna let you screw this challenge up for us!"
"No, really!" Yasuhiro said. "I think this is finally my chance to shine!"
The rest of the Grips stared at Mondo expectantly, who shrugged. "Sure. At least we'll know who we're votin' for if we lose?"
Yasuhiro's excitement quickly depleted and he gulped.
CONFESSIONAL - YASUHIRO:
"Alright, maybe picking a duel with one of the strongest girls here wasn't the smartest idea," he admitted, scratching his head. "Game: 1; Hiro; 0."
CONFESSIONAL - JUNKO:
"Yeah, it's no surprise who's gonna win this one," she laughed while she filed her nails. "Sometimes the trash takes itself out."
Yasuhiro and Mukuro stood in a pen with their backs to each other whilst wearing cowboy hats. They both wielded small water pistols while Chris stood behind them, with the rest of the castmates lined up along the walls of the buildings in the background.
"Okay, here's how this is gonna work," Chris explained. "In true showdown fashion, you'll both take ten paces forward, turn around, and start shooting each other on my signal. The challenge ends when one of you is completely soaked. You can make use of whatever's around you, but your teammates aren't allowed to get involved except by cheering you on. Capiche?"
Yasuhiro and Mukuro nodded.
"Any other questions?" the host asked. Thirteen hands immediately raised. "None? Okay then! Yo, Chef!"
Chef strolled into the scene, wearing a transculent and old-fashioned pink dress with a matching bonnet and fan. He began to fan himself, to which Chris snickered at.
"Lovin' the dress," he complimented, "Chefette."
Chef scowled back at him and growled, and the camera flashed forward to him firmly tying the last knot of the rope he used to tie Chris to a fence post. "Maybe when I change, I'll come back and untie you," he spat, picking up the bottom of his dress and walking away.
"I can't feel my arms," Chris whined as he wiggled in his bonds. Letting out a defeated sigh, he said, "Cowboys at the ready."
The scene briefly switched to letterbox form as Yasuhiro and Mukuro held onto their weapons tightly and took ten steps forward. The wind whistled, and Chris exclaimed, "DRAW!"
Yasuhiro and Mukuro quickly turned around and fired. The former's eyes went wide as he looked down at his shirt, which now had a distinct wet patch on it. He didn't get a chance to recover or even fire back, as Mukuro continued shooting him until all the water from her pistol was gone.
"Wow, this wasn't even close," Chris said, sounding a bit annoyed. "Either way, the Gaphers are the winners!"
The Gaphers cheered loudly, and Yasuhiro groaned as he stumbled to his feet.
"Y-You were saying something about winning the challenge, Hiro?" Toko mocked.
"You Grips are losers," Chris said, sticking something into a small fire. "And you know what happens to losers?" He pulled it out to reveal that it was an L-shaped branding iron, red-hot and sizzling. "Which Grip wants to take the heat?"
At once, six of the Grips stepped back, leaving Yasuhiro to stare with panic.
CONFESSIONAL - KOMARU:
"Poor Hiro," she said sadly. "He was just trying to be useful for our team. Not to be mean, but I'm glad I'm not him right now."
Chris plunged the branding iron into a barrel of water, frowning. "Legal says branding's out," he said. "Guess I'll have to settle for booting one of the Grips off in the most exciting Gilded Chris ceremony ever!" He began dancing, pelvic thrusts aplenty. "Now go shower, you guys stink! Peeyew!"
After the introduction of the Gilded Chris ceremony played, it opened on the seven Grips sitting in the stands as they voted with their devices.
"The votes have been cast!" Chris announced. "If you get a Gilded Chris, it means you're safe—for now."
Chef walked up, wearing a black suit coat over his normal clothes and carrying six awards in his arms.
"What happened to your dress?" Chris asked mockingly, earning him a scowl and "I'm watching you" gesture from Chef. He quickly turned back to the teens. "And the Gilded Chris goes to... Komaru and Toko!"
"Ibuki."
"Mondo."
"Junko."
Kazuichi and Yasuhiro watched the stage nervously. "And last but not least...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"Kazuichi."
Kazuichi caught the Gilded Chris with a toothy smile while Yasuhiro hung his head in shame.
"Yasuhiro, my man, it's time to go," Chris told him.
"Yeah, I'm going." With nothing left to say, he got up and trudged down past the stage and down the red carpet. The Lame-o-sine was waiting for him, and he climbed inside and it zoomed off.
"Well, that's all for this week!" Chris grinned back at the stage. "Hiro might not be here anymore, but the show must go on! See you all next time on... Total! Drama! Action!"
[Bonus Clip]
Yasuhiro still wore a disappointed expression as he slumped in his seat. "Man, I really thought this was gonna be my season! Guess I learned to pick my battles." He sighed. "Well, I guess it's fine. At least I won't be the one getting humiliated anymore..."
Killer Grips - Ibuki, Junko, Kazuichi, Komaru, Mondo, Toko
Screaming Gaphers - Kaito, Leon, Mikan, Mukuro, Shuichi, Tenko
Eliminated - Makoto, Sayaka, Celestia, Yasuhiro
Author's Note: With that, Hiro is gone. This episode is fun to watch, but not as fun to write IMO, so this is why it's shorter than the other episodes. Still, I'd like to know your opinions on it. Also, our first aftermath is coming up next episode! I know the aftermaths aren't the most popular amongst the TD fandom, but I'm looking forward to writing them. We also have a special guest joining us for them, but you've probably already figured it out, if you've been paying attention.
Anyways! Thanks for reading, and thank you for the support so far, and I hope to see you guys next time!