A/N: thank you to every leaving their thoughts in the reviews! I love them all so much! I wanted to respond here about some of those thoughts. A good point was raised that clearly my Bella in this story responds very differently to the impritning situation than in Breaking Dawn. In my oppinion, I didn't have her immediately freak out for a few reasons. First, she's not a newborn vampire anymore. Second, in BD I felt like she was most upset to feel like her "claim" on Renesmee was taken by Jacob before Bella had a chance to bond. In this world, she has had years of building that relationship. Renesmee, while still young, is no longer a baby and can clearly communicate her own opinion in many ways. Lastly, I think some of Bella's core bad human habits are still a part of her, particularly how she always shouldered the blame for everything. Also give this story some time! This crew has a lotttt to talk about and I want to pace it right over multiple chapters.
Bella looked to Jacob. "Yes but just once!" He hurried to reassure her.
I sighed, glaring at him. I wanted to be mad he was lying but truly, his thoughts were lying to him. In the glow of the imprint, his past memories had been transformed with rose colored glass. I could tell Bella thought she remembered it differently from the way she bit her lip, but these weren't human memories she had worked to remember like some of the others. She wasn't trusting her memory.
I cleared my throat and he met my eyes. "Twice." I reminded him.
Renesmee gasped, Bella hung her head in shame. Jacob was confused, rolling back through his memories when the realization hit.
"Oh, sorry. Yes twice. I blocked that first one from my memory, it wasn't my finest moment." Renesmee obviously needed further explanation so he continued. "The first time I kissed her, I didn't really ask her permission. I confessed how I felt about her and then just went for it." To his credit, he was deeply ashamed now.
I couldn't help but chuckle as I said, "Then your mother broke her hand from punching him in the face."
Renesmee was shocked and looked at her mother for confirmation. During this story, Bella was sifting through her human memories trying to piece it together. She played it back for me, confirming that she remembered it all. While the images were blurry, she recalled the main points: punching him, him taking her home, calling me so Carlisle could take a look, our fierce standoff in the yard. Her feelings from that time came through clearer than the images: her anger at him and relief towards me, seeing me as her hero. Hearing that made me smile and I nodded to her that she was correct.
"Yep, that's how it went." Bella said with a short laugh. Renesmee was shocked she hurt herself.
"You only know your mom as a vampire, strong and fast and unbreakable. Your mom in her human days was ridiculously fragile, even more than most. She may have known how to throw a punch but trying to punch a werewolf in the face? She may as well have punched a brick wall." I explained.
"And the second time?" Renesmee asked hesitantly.
Jacob was uncomfortable, his thoughts flustered. Bella was confused again, having to dive back into those human memories.
"Well…umm…" Jacob started and looked to Bella for help.
"Sorry Jacob, some of my memories from back then are blurry. You'll have to talk first and I can try to fill in my side." Bella grimaced and flicked her eyes up to me. I placed a reassuring hand on her cheek.
"It's alright love, don't worry about me. Renesmee deserves to know the full story so she can make an educated choice."
Jacob blew out a breath. "So, it was the day we were fighting that newborn army," he paused. "Do you know that story?" Renesmee nodded. He looked at me, questioning how much of the story she knew.
"She knows that Victoria was seeking revenge on me through Bella, and why. She knows Victoria created an army to come after our family and that the wolves helped us. She knows I stayed with Bella and that me and Seth fought Victoria and Riley." I filled him in.
So she doesn't know about that night in the tent? Or right before the fight? He couldn't meet my eyes while he thought about the questions.
I sighed, "No, I'm sure you can understand why we saw no reason to disclose that part. But, I suppose now we have no choice." I worked to keep my face neutral, not wanting to worry Bella or Renesmee, and motioned for him to proceed.
"The night before the fight, the three of us had camped together in the mountains after setting a trail to keep Bella safe." Renesmee raised her eyebrows at that one and looked at the three of us.
"You three together in a tent? Camping?" She scoffed a laugh.
"We had a plan to hide your mother's human scent," I explained. "We laid a false trail for the newborns to follow into the clearing where we wanted the fight to happen. Jacob had to carry your mom to the campsite, it was the only way to hide her scent. Jacob stayed with us as a link to the pack. Many of them were uncomfortable at the thought of spending the night in the same place as a vampire, without the rest of the pack for backup. I've told you Seth and I fought together that next day and we did. Seth came to switch places with Jacob a few hours after midnight. It ended up being vital to have Jacob there that night; it was so cold up on the mountain that your mother almost froze to death. His body temperature runs even higher than yours, so he kept her warm that night."
While you were there?! She was embarrassed for us just thinking of the situation.
"Yes, while I was there. I believe I said it was possibly in the top ten for the worst nights of my existence." I couldn't help but give an exasperated laugh again, what an absurd sequence of events. All of them, even Jacob, shot me sympathetic looks.
"Yes, I remember!" Bella spoke up. "That was what we were talking about when Jacob got upset, our top ten best nights. That's how he found out we were engaged." She looked sadly at Jacob, but she made sure to send me her thoughts.
Edward, I'm so sorry. I handled things so poorly that day. And many others as well. I love you. Thank you for always sticking by me. I squeezed her hand, in response to her sweet thoughts.
Renesmee knew, somewhat, the story of our engagement. We'd obviously spared sharing the most intimate details. She thought back over what we told her and smiled, despite herself. In the next moment, she was surprised, never realizing this moment happened in the midst of our dangerous battle.
"Yeah so I was eavesdropping on their conversation and was upset. I was fighting with everything in me to keep Bella away from him, away from life as a vampire." He grimaced when the word came out, appraising Bella now that that future had come to fruition. "I was convinced that Bella loved me more than she loved him, that she just was hiding it from herself. I started hatching a plan to get her to kiss me, for real, so she would realize it. I started to run away, towards the battle."
"I was upset, distraught at myself for Jacob finding out that way. Edward, somehow, was compassionate enough to go track him down and ask him to come back to talk to me." She patted my hand where it rested on her shoulder.
Your love for me truly has no limits. How did you do that for me?
"My tactics weren't completely selfless." I answered her, then I explained to the room. "First, a part of me did always hope Bella would stay human. I saw myself as evil, the worst of creatures. Choosing Jacob would be the only way to keep her human, as much as that would've killed me. Second, selfishly, I worried Bella would never forgive me if that was her last conversation with Jacob. While she had no idea, I knew he was eavesdropping and wanted him to know Bella had agreed to marry me. When I went to track him down, I could hear Jacob's plans in his thoughts but was determined to let it play out anyway. Just like with you now, I needed Bella to see all the information before making her final decision."
"Like we said, Bella was my best friend so I knew how she thought about things." Jacob continued his side of the story. "She'd been stressed about this fight, not for herself but for everyone else that would be fighting. She'd already gotten Edward to agree to sit out with her." I was surprised he could say my name without the usual malice. It was odd to hear his mind now, noting the changes and knowing the reason behind them. He sounded more like the Jacob Black I first met at our Junior Prom than he had in many years. "I played that angle; I was hurt, so I channeled that and floated the idea of me going out in a blaze of glory during the fight. Mostly I was bluffing but, I was in a rough place, I may have actually done it. But it achieved what I needed, she asked me to kiss her. In the long run, it didn't make a difference. It was just something I needed to get to happen, I needed to know I had tried everything possible." Jacob lost himself in his memory, retelling the story. He glanced up hesitantly at Renesmee, fearing her rebuttal.
Renesmee was silent, processing slowly. She was mentally replaying everything we told her, fitting it into the histories she already knew about our family. She glanced around at each of us, looking for a long moment and arranging the pieces into her new ideas of us. She looked at me last, thinking back on my dark glare to Jacob at the front door, my annoyed reactions about Mike Newton. She knew how much I fiercely loved Bella and had from the beginning. Suddenly, she let out a shocked giggle.
"Dad, you were there for all of this?" She looked between Jacob and myself. "How is Jacob still alive?" At that question, Jacob had to laugh. Bella sighed, putting her head in her hands—less stressed but more embarrassed than before.
Honestly, thinking back on it, I'm wondering that question myself. This apologetic side to Jacob Black was unnerving. I rolled my eyes.
"Don't think I didn't think about it—many times," I admitted. "Thankfully I didn't witness many of these moments firsthand. I did really regret my mind-reading ability, as the second-hand account was bad enough." I glared at Jacob, remembering the times that he had purposefully taunted me with his thoughts. He remembered too, looking down contrite.
"After that first kiss, when your mom broke her hand, I came here to pick her up. Jacob and I had a stand-off a bit similar to the one earlier. Renesmee, I heard you think that Charlie looked at us as though he had seen us like this before; he was thinking of that day. The second kiss, I tried to be more rational. I wanted your mother to have the freedom of her choice, even if that choice wasn't me." I shivered just thinking about that.
Renesmee took a deep breath, and asked in a calm voice, "So what happened after that?" I couldn't deny I was impressed by her composure; she was taking everything in stride. She truly understood why we, as her parents, hadn't divulged these details. And while it was awkward, she could tell that these feelings were gone for both Bella and Jacob.
"Well, I went down to the fight, pretty proud of myself honestly. Everything went great until the end, a newborn almost crushed me to death." Renesmee gasped. "I'm okay. Carlisle fixed me right up. I guess Bella was right, I should've stayed with her; turns out they had the better fight anyway."
"Hell yeah we did!" Seth yelled from the kitchen. We locked eyes and I smiled in return.
"Seth, I'll never be able to say thank you enough for that day. You saved our lives." I reached over and brushed my hand against Bella's cheek. "And gave me my chance to handle Victoria." Bella shivered.
"Isn't that when mom did something crazy with a rock?" Renesmee asked. Jacob was surprised, looking between us. I guess he never got the full rundown of our side of the fight, as he was being treated by Carlisle.
"Yes," I sighed, exasperated, and glared at Bella. "I was fighting Victoria, too fast for her to follow. Seth was fighting Riley, pulling a very smart maneuver and acting as though he was greatly injured in hopes of drawing him in closer. Bella didn't realize he was faking, so she took a jagged rock and cut open her forearm, reopening her scar from her birthday. It distracted both Victoria and Riley for sure, but Seth didn't realize what she did. I had to step in for a moment to keep Riley away." Bella shrugged, seeing no fault in her actions. I motioned to let Bella go back to finish telling her story with Jacob, but he cut in.
"Scar?" He asked me, confused.
You don't have to talk about this. Bella thought, concerned for me.
"I said we were all being honest tonight." I patted her cheek again. While this was difficult to discuss, enough time had passed that the pain was not nearly as sharp. Anyways, Renesmee already knew this story and I couldn't care much what Jacob Black's opinion on the matter would be—I would simply uphold our rules for this conversation.
"Alice threw Bella an eighteenth birthday party at my house with my family. As Bella was opening presents, she got a paper cut. That triggered some members of my family, as many of them are not accustomed to being near human blood—not to mention what her blood used to do to me. In a panic, I grabbed her and threw her across the room to get away from them. Unfortunately, she landed on a table that was covered in glass decorations, cutting her arm fairly badly. Carlisle was able to stitch her up that night. That was the scar she reopened at the battle." I recalled the story quickly, refusing to linger on the visuals, keeping my eyes locked on Bella's.
Her birthday…September…that's why you left. Jacob realized. But, if you felt for her anything like what I'm feeling now, how did you do that?
"Yes, that's why I left." Grudgingly I agreed, "And yes, I believe it is a very similar feeling. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But just like you had to try everything in your arsenal to keep her human, so did I."
It's so weird to understand this but I…I do. Jacob was having to process almost as much new information as Renesmee, seeing my relationship with Bella without the veil of his longing for her. We all sat in awkward silence, the heaviness of the story weighing on all of us in different ways.