Eliza was faced with silence after Dumbledore left. She cleared away the tea and snacks, doing the dishes by hand before retiring to her bedroom. This house was too big for her, but she had gotten it anyway. It wasn't her idea to live alone when everyone who should have been with her was either gone or opted out.
She opened the trunk at the foot of her bed. Her wand had been left untouched for years. It was cold but with a single touch, she could feel the magic buzzing through it again. The clothes in the trunk were old but still wearable. The robes she could reuse, but she wasn't really willing to walk around in Wizarding fashion. It was rather archaic, stuck in the 19th century and highly impractical when you wanted to blend into the Muggle world. Eliza would keep to the muggle clothing if needed, they were far more stylish.
But that was not what she was looking for. Underneath her clothes was an album. During her years at Hogwarts, Eliza would take photos and get them printed when she came home for the summer. Flipping through the pages, she found her memories. There was the Slytherin Quidditch team, pictures of her, Lily, and the other girls in their year. There was one picture of the famed Slug Club and later on, there was little Harry on his first birthday. It was the last picture she had of all of them together: Lily, James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius had looked up at the camera beaming as Harry, only one-year-old, did his best to blow out the candles. Sirius blew on the candle with Harry and only pretended he hadn't.
Like he snuffed out the lights out of his parents, she thought darkly. Eliza snapped the album shut. She still had some of Sirius' things but those were kept in a separate trunk at the back of the closet. It will stay untouched. That trunk was a can of worms and she knew that if she dwelled on it for far too long, it would hurt her.
When morning came, she made her calls and all the arrangements were done before Dumbledore's ten hours were up. She would rent out the house for a year, under the control of Arabella Figgs who seemed perturbed to be hearing the new arrangement, and handed in her resignation via post.
Eliza looked out onto the driveway once more, hoping that she would catch a glimpse of the grey eyes she had seen in the bush. But it was empty. Eliza looked away.
While she dreaded Sirius, she also felt the need to see him. She had no idea what it would do to her. Would she run to him? Slap him in the face? Scream? Perhaps he would give her all the answers she wanted but never got, or maybe he would laugh manically as he had done the day he killed Peter.
Eliza took only what she needed and stood in the middle of her house. She took it in one last time. Then she closed her eyes, her wand clutched in her hands and fingers holding tightly onto her suitcase. She imagined herself showing up at Hogmeade. Then, like a gun that was shot out of a barrel, she felt a pull in her stomach as she shot forward, her breath getting squeezed as she went through a tube-like contraption.
Then she landed.
Ouff!
On her back, no least. It had been a while since she apperated. Good thing she hadn't had breakfast.
Hogsmeade hadn't changed much since she last visited and neither did the old castle looming in the distance. It was as grand as ever. She still remembered what it looked like coming in from the Black Lake. What a sight it always was, even when the magic of its grandeur had long faded. Hogwarts was the safest place on the planet, even in the hardest of times.
Minerva McGonagall stood at the door waiting for her.
"I saw you all the way up from the castle," Minerva mused. "How are you faring?"
Minerva always treated Eliza with kindness. They were in the Order together back in the war and Minerva knew her as the one who secretly cleaned up after the Marauders sometimes. Minerva used to be her Transfiguration teacher. ThoughStern in her teachings, she made it comprehensible for Eliza.
"Truth be told, Minnie, not much has been happening in my life," Eliza answered. Minerva frowned at her and in her heart, Eliza knew that she was probably going to reprimand her for wasting her talents.
"Do you not work at St. Mungo's?" she asked.
"Not since the war."
"Then where have you been?" they walked into the castle. Minerva lead the way to the first-floor corridors. She remembered it quite well. It was where they had Defense Against the Dark Arts. She wondered who taught that subject nowadays.
"Cooking in a Kindergarten," Eliza answered honestly.
"For muggles? Have you been keeping your magic stored away? You know how unhealthy that is, Shafiq!" she looked credulous. Minerva had once been engaged to a muggle but thought against it when it meant she would be locking her wand away.
"I've not been casting spells," Eliza elaborated. "I've been using it in other ways. I cook food and make sure that all of the kids are getting the nutritions they need. It's infused so that they are healthy. That's all I've used it for."
"Until now that it," a dark expression befell Minerva's face. "I knew Black was ambitious but so ambitious as to break out of Azkaban?"
"He's mad," Eliza felt uneasy. "I don't know what happened to him."
"I'm not interrogating you, Eliza. Neither you nor Remus could have known this would happen."
Minerva placed a reassuring hand on Eliza's shoulder and squeezed it. They were standing in front of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom now.
But could she have known? They had lived in the same apartment. Sirius hadn't been speaking to her in the weeks leading up to the murders. Eliza had chalked it down to stress. He had been working on Order business and Eliza was working far away.
"I hope they catch him soon."
"Maybe," Eliza muttered in her breath.
"This is your room."
Eliza frowned. They had walked through the classroom and into the office of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. There, there were three doors more – presumably one bathroom, the others must be rooms.
"Minerva, I thought I was doing Muggle Studies."
"You are," Minerva acknowledged. "Your room is connected to the muggle studies classroom, but also to here. We've connected it because… " Minerva stopped at the look of confusion on Eliza's face.
"Oh, that man!" Minerva scolded. "He didn't tell you, did he? Remus Lupin is the new professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts."
"Oh!"
Remus was the new DADA professor?
Eliza quickly connected the dots. Why else would they connect her room to Remus'?
"I assume that I'll be doing monthly duties?"
Minerva nodded.
"It would be good to have you check up on him after the full moon. Severus is brewing the potion for him and while Poppy wouldn't mind taking care of him, it would be better if he didn't have to stay in the Hospital Wing each month. It may raise some concerns. Didn't Dumbledore tell you, or Remus even?"
"No," Eliza said sadly. "Remus and I... we are on Christmas cards terms. We don't really talk anymore."
"Oh, Eliza," Minerva shook her head.
The few weeks before term started, Eliza walked around. She reacquainted herself with the castle, visiting the elves in the kitchen. They were delighted to see her and had given her a plate of cheesecake, her favourite. She spent time looking at the syllabus for Muggle Studies and upon realizing that it was the easiest job for her to do as someone who lived as a Muggle for a dozen years, vowed to make it fun. Then, she visited Hagrid who was happy to see her.
"Never thought I'd see you here again!" he had exclaimed and handed her a rather outlandish-looking beer. She drank it knowing that if something went wrong, it was easily reversed.
On most days, she found herself at the Black Lake. She sometimes saw the selkies float up to the service and waved hello. They could be seen from the Slytherin common room back in her day and every once in a while they'd teach the curious student a word or two in their sign language.
It made her miss Lily more than ever. The two of them used to sit on the banks and do their homework, soaking in the few rays of sun that Scotland would offer them.
But missing Lily reminded her of Sirius.
Just as much as James annoyed Lily, Sirius had annoyed her. It first started as disdain – she had been in Slytherin, after all. The house he hated more than anything. She had been close with his brother, who had gone over to the dark side the moment he saw fit. But something changed in the fifth year and Sirius had gone from hating her to helping her sometimes. At first, Eliza had thought it was to help James get Lily. Then it was to keep an eye on Regulus.
Then she started to notice how good he was at translating Ancient Runes and how attractive it was when he could rattle down the negations in the classical form of Middle Egyptian.
That's when she knew she had a crush on Sirius in her sixth year.
Your first kiss was under this very tree, her mind reminded. The selkies never let her live it down.
On the day the Hogwarts Express should arrive and the term started, she awaited the arrival of Remus. She paced the castle, nearly driving nearly headless Nick insane.
Minerva's eyes gleamed. "He's taking the Hogwarts express."
Oh, she retired to her room. In the evening, she heard the doors open to the room. Her heart raced as she touched the cold handle of the door.
How do you act around someone you once considered your best friend?
A figure with a shabby-looking coat entered the office. Remus was walking a little loop-sided. His back a little hunched over, with grey hairs streaking the rich brown ones, Remus Lupin still looked like the kind boy she'd met on the train many years ago as she nervously sat alone in a compartment.
Remus finally noted her presence, his suitcases floating behind him. His mouth hung open.
"Hi."
"Hi," Remus looked around. "Am I...?"
"It's the right room? Yes," Eliza said awkwardly. "Uhm... I'm your new roommate, apparently."
"They let us share a room? I thought the castle was against that."
"It's adjacent," Eliza felt the heat rush to her face. "I dare you to try to enter it. I think it will turn into a slide."
There was a thud behind Remus - his suitcases landing on the floor – and he walked up to her slowly, holding out his arms, unsure. But Eliza pulled him in, embracing him. It felt familiar. Eliza felt like melting into it.
"It's good to see you," she told him and they pulled apart. "You're looking peaky."
His skin was extremely pallor, and the signs of the last full moon still marked his face. She patted his cheek.
"It was that time of the month," Remus answered and gave out a tired smile. "Dumbledore didn't mention you."
"Surprise," she muttered. He didn't mention him to her either. "How was your trip here?"
"I slept for the most part," he took off his cloak. "Though I was disturbed when the dementors came."
"The dementors?!"
"They were looking for Black," Remus did not call Sirius by his name. "Ended up sucking some happiness out of Harry too -"
"– Is he alright?" Eliza was shocked and she was ready to run off to the Great Hall. Remus patted her hand.
"Don't worry, I gave him some chocolate. Poppy will take care of him. He was okay last time I saw him."
She calmed down, but only a little bit. The last time she had been around Dementors was when she had watched Sirius be incarcerated in Azkaban. She had never returned since. She remembered how empty she felt upon entering the island.
"I wished they weren't here," she whispered. "I gather neither of us would be here either if that weren't the case."
"What do you mean?"
"Dumbledore made it very clear that even if the position wasn't free, I would still be here," she said darkly.
"He has his reasons, he always does."
They arrived at the Great Hall slowly as the students were piling into the Great Hall. She had a sense of deja vu and familiarity settled in, how she would walk these long tables every day. When she walked past the Slytherin table, she noted a blob of blonde white hair.
Ah, a Malfoy, she thought to herself. Eliza gathered that she may be related to half of the people in this hall one way or another, but the Slytherin table more than anything.
"Don't worry too much," Remus whispered into her ear as they walked up to the teacher's table.
"What makes you think that?"
"You looked," he pulled out the chair for her. She saw a bunch of third-years at the Hufflepuff table looking at her, then giggling before they cowered their heads together in gossip.
It wasn't long until the rest of the hall was settled and the first years arrived. The group was a lot smaller than Eliza was used to, no doubt an effect of the wizarding war. The doors opened and she watched as two figures slipped in and hastily made their way to the Gryffindor table. Harry Potter's jet-black hair was as messy as his father's had been. She couldn't see him properly from her seat, but the thin wire glasses made her think so much of James that it could only be him.
She leaned into Remus, tugging on his sleeve ever slightly. She nodded in Harry's direction. No words were exchanged, but he knew what she was trying to say.
He looks like James.
Dumbledore stood up to address the entire student body. With his long silver hair and energetic feeling, she did not doubt he was one of the greatest wizards of their age. Dumbledore made his normal speech and then he talked about the dementors. She noted how Dumbledore also looked in the direction of the Gryffindor table on the mention of Dementors not being fooled by invisibility cloaks. Of course, Harry had his dad's cloak.
"On a happier note," he continued, "I am pleased to welcome three new teachers to our ranks this year.
"First, Professor Lupin–" five Gryffindors clapped hard, among them was Harry. Lupin stood up so that everyone knew who he was. Then, Hagrid was introduced as the new professor for Magical Creatures.
"And our third addition," Dumbledore continued as the loud applause, once more from the Gryffindor table, died away. "Is one of Hogwart's finest, Professor Eliza Shafiq who will be filling in for Professor Charity Burbage as she is taking a sabbatical. Professor Shafiq will also be assisting Madame Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing this school year."
Eliza was expecting lukewarm applause, but the Slytherin table ignited upon hearing the name. Her fists clenched. She also heard some whispers from the table. It seemed they'd hoped she was the new DADA professor.
"Let the feast begin!"
Eliza was overwhelmed by food. She had dreamed of the creaminess of the mashed potatoes, the steaks, and puddings, fried chickens and roasts. She was so busy enjoying the food, that she hadn't noticed the disgusted look on Severus Snape's face until she was wiping pumpkin juice from her face.
Severus Snape and Eliza did not have the best of relations. They had been friends. Severus had introduced her to Lily in their first year on the pretence that Lily ought to make "the correct friends". Eliza did not know what he had meant until she noticed the concerning pattern of dark magic following where Snape went. Eliza drew the line when Snape called Lily a filthy mudblood, and then he joined Voldemort right after.
But it has been years and he was supposedly a changed man.
She wouldn't believe it until she saw it.
"Fancy seeing you here, Snape," Eliza zoned out. "I hear you're the head of Slytherin house."
"I heard reports that you would be ... dwelling here," he snarled. "I do wonder if it is a good idea. Much less wasting your talent on Muggle Studies."
"It's a lot more fascinating than you think. Potions is a lot like chemistry in the muggle world, don't you think?" Severus had a muggle parent, so he knew what chemistry was. He just didn't like to admit the similarities between muggles and wizards.
"Don't patronize me, Shafiq," he said in a tone so only Eliza could hear. "It's already a blow in the face that Lupin is here."
"Then I suggest we put the past behind us," she added back. "We are adults. We can say our sorrys in a private space that does not involve the eyes of prying students, yes?"
When the feast was over and Dumbledore ordered the students to bed, Remus and Eliza wandered the halls a bit before entering their respective rooms. They didn't talk much, they never did. It was always someone else doing the talking between them.
That someone being Sirius.
Once more, Eliza mourned the life she could have had. The one she had well-curated for herself after the war, but also the life that she could have led. As she closed her eyes, the fireplace flickering as her background noise, Eliza wished that the ministry would get him soon. She wanted to sleep well and not remember the nightmare that was the Halloween of 81'.