Chapter 96

The boom of the closing gun echoed across the faire grounds and Warren said, "Welp, there it is! The closing gun..."

He hung a "Sorry, we're closed" sign across the entrance as he and Roger began taking down his inventory for the week.

He noted how many of each item he had left as he took them down and stowed everything in boxes.

Freya and Dena returned with their nibblies before the beefeaters came through and politely encouraged the remaining visitors to go home.

Perched on their straw bales, the girls noshed while Roger and Warren finished putting everything away.

Locking the sturdy wooden cabinet for the week, Warren grinned and said, "I think I did pretty good this year. I've sold out some of the more popular items and a few people want to have special orders done for them. Yana will like that!"

Exiting the booth, they stood out front while the beefeaters finished making their final sweep.

As the red uniformed beefeaters walked by, they acknowledged them with salutes and politely shooed before them, any stragglers they found.

With the beefeaters gone, Maribel straightened up, shook her tiny self out and grinned.

Roger smiled at the tiny renfairy and said, "Good afternoon! I see you are a red fairy today!"

Maribel smiled and replied cheerfully, "I have several fairy costumes and enough accessories to be able to change my appearance during the day, if I feel like it!"

She smiled and said, "I didn't expect to see you guys today and was a little surprised to see you this morning."

Roger chuckled and replied, "To tell you the truth, I hadn't planned on being here today, but a certain someone..." He glanced inside the booth where Dena was just finishing up her nibblie, "Insisted on coming here, as she wanted to meet you after I had mentioned you."

Maribel's eyes got very wide as Roger called out, "Dena, when you're done eating, there is someone out here I'd like you to meet."

Moments later, Dena came outside and looked up at Maribel, who looked as if she was about to cry.

The girl's eyes welled up and she said through her tears of joy, "I can't believe I'm seeing a real live wood elf! You, are, soooo cute!"

Maribel was literally vibrating as she stood there with both hands pressed against her mouth, her shoulders hunched inward and her toes turned slightly inward, making her look even more adorable than she already was.

Dena smiled at the renfairy and said, "Yoo're pretty cute yoorself, an' Ah loch yoor costume, it's verra nice!"

Maribel looked as if she was about to faint just before she sat down in the middle of the street known as 'merchants row'.

By now, the tiny sprite sitting in Maribel's ivy circlet was stirring and sitting up.

She saw that Dena was looking right at her, then she looked up and realized that Roger could see her too, and was reaching out with a tiny bit of chocolate between his thumb and forefinger.

Roger smiled at the sprite and dropped the bit of chocolate inside the ivy circlet.

He smiled at Maribel and said softly, "It seems the sprites here have taken a liking to you!"

At Maribel's mystified look, Dena said cheerfully, "Thaur is a wee sprite a'sittin' in yer ivy circlet, an' Roger jist gave 'er some choclit."

Maribel cried, "Is it April again?"

Roger chuckled, "No, not April this time, April and I both, got an earful last night when we got home. So she's grounded for the time being."

"I'm sorry to hear that." remarked Maribel.

"Wait...Sprites can get grounded too?" she said with a look of amazement on her face.

"Oh yes, they can and did, in April's case."

He smiled at the tiny sprite, who smiled back through the chocolate smudge around her tiny mouth.

"This little one lives here and we don't know her name, but I'm certain she does have a name. All sprites have names, we just have to learn them."

"How did April get her name?" asked Maribel.

"Simple, she was born during the month of April and she is attached to me because she was born in my bedroom and I was the first human she saw!"

"She was born in your bedroom?"

"Yep, for some reason her mom felt safest in my bedroom during her pregnancy and that was where she was born just over a year ago."

Warren finished locking up and he smiled, "I'm going to eat some dinner first before I hoist any tankards!"

"Good idea! But, aren't all the food stands closed up for the day?"

Warren grinned, "The food stands are that's true, but didn't you notice the kitchens in the living history portion?"

"I did, they looked well equipped for the times they represent."

Warren smiled and said, "Come along with me, I'll introduce you around."

Roger glanced over at the ladies and said, "Warren's taking us over to the living history area for dinner, he knows some people there!"

Maribel grinned and said cheerfully, "They feed all of us faire workers and it's a good place to hide when I want to sit down a spell!"

Roger smiled at the diminutive renfairy and said out of curiosity, "Can't you just sit and stare off into space, like I've seen you guys doing?"

Maribel sighed and said morosely, "For most people that works just fine, it's the lurkers I have trouble with..."

"Lurkers?"

"The assholes who try to hit on me and when I ignore them, they say mean things, things I won't repeat, but things I have repeated to the beefeaters, so they can escort the idiots out of the faire."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

She shrugged and said, "Unfortunately it comes with the territory."

"Territory?"

"Yep, when you're little and cute like me..." She said with an impish grin.

Roger just chuckled and said, "Hey now, I get enough of that at home from a certain someone..." He jerked a thumb towards Dena who was happily sitting on Astrid's furry back.

Maribel smiled and muttered, "I can imagine, she's got to be the cutest thing I've ever seen, aside from me!"

"Such modesty!"

"One of my most endearing traits!"

Roger merely rolled his eyes in response.

Minutes later, they entered the living history portion and Warren led them all up to the Green Man Inn.

A goodly number of the faire folk were already seated at the tables and noshing on a hearty stew served in bread bowls provided by the bakery they had visited earlier that day.

Warren greeted Laura Thornhill, the matronly land lady with a hug and said cheerfully, "Good evening! May I have the vegetarian special please?"

He gestured to Roger and company, "These are my friends, this is Roger Tate and his companions Freya Sigurdsdottir and Dena Greenwood."

Laura smiled at him and said, "Actually, I've already seen them, I saw them when they came through here earlier today."

Warren grimaced and said glumly, "Dang. That's the trouble with managing a booth, I'm chained to the place until closing time."

Laura smiled at them and said, "It will be an honor to serve you here, at the Green Man Inn. We mostly have soups and stews here served in bread bowls. We can provide a spoon if you didn't bring your own."

Roger grinned at her, "Had I known, I would have brought my own spoon."

Laura smiled at Dena and said apologetically, "I'm very sorry, we don't have any utensils for someone your size."

Dena grinned at her and replied, "'Tis nae problem, Ah cam prepared!"

She reached into her holding bag and pulled out a small knife, fork and spoon set Roger had found for her.

Laura laughed and said cheerfully, "Well now, that solves everything! Take a seat and I'll bring you all your food!"

They occupied a table and settled down to wait for their food.

Anita suddenly appeared and said cheerfully, "I finally got free!" as she sat down beside Freya.

Roger glanced her over and said, "No poetess outfit today?"

Anita shrugged and replied, "I had to help my mom at the ale stand she works in. Basically, I handled the money end of things while she poured the ale. It seems there's a law saying I'm not allowed to serve alcoholic beverages unless I'm over 21, but I can handle the money part. Weird, huh?"

Roger shrugged and remarked, "That explains the dirndl you're wearing today."

Anita glanced down at her petite bosom and muttered, "This was the smallest one they had and I'm nowhere near to filling it out properly!"

Maribel giggled and said gaily, "There's nothing wrong with being petite! Look at me, I've been an A-cup kid since I was fifteen, I haven't grown an inch since then."

Anita looked her over and replied, "And you're how tall? I'm five feet even and you're much shorter than I am."

Maribel grinned, "Four foot six, baby!"

Anita chuckled and remarked, "Freya and I know a girl at school who's only four foot three, of course she's our age and may grow a bit more, but I have my doubts."

"And your age is?"

"Freya and I are fourteen, I'm not sure how old Christina is, I don't know her all that well."

"I'm twenty four."

"Ah"

Laura came bustling up with a wooden platter laden with smaller platters, each of whom laden with a bread bowl brimming with stew.

Setting them before the four of them, she turned to Anita with a smile.

"Hello Anita, where's your mom?"

"Mom took off already, I'm hitching a ride with either Warren or Roger, who ever has the room for my tiny self."

Laura chuckled and asked, "Soup, or our world famous stew?"

"Stew please!"

"Stew, it is! Be right back!" and she bustled off to the kitchen.

Warren glanced over at Anita and said, "Don't forget I have Astrid with me, there may not be any room for you."

Anita shrugged and replied, "That's okay, I'm pretty sure Roger has room to spare in that van of his."

Moments later, Laura returned with Anita's food order.

"Here y'are!" she said as she set down the wooden platter and placed a cup of lemonade alongside her food, "Food and drink, just the way you like it!"

Anita grinned at Laura, "Thank you, lemonade was just what I wanted!"

While they were eating, several of the faire folk paused as they wandered past, after all it wasn't every day they could see a wood elf sitting cross legged on a table across from an adventurer scholar while a merchant, a frost giantess, a renfairy and an ale wench all noshed on Laura Thornhill's 'world famous stew'.

A couple of the renfairies stopped by, "Maribel? So this is where you went off to." said the tall, slender blue renfairy.

Maribel grinned at her and said, "Look who I bumped into!"

She gestured towards Dena who was now standing near Roger while he sipped at his tankard.

As usual she was half draped over his shoulder as she affectionately leaned against him.

Dena smiled at the two renfairies and said, "Guid e'enin'!"

As one, the two gaped, then spluttered, then stood there gobsmacked.

Dena straightened up, then said, "Ur ye twa deaf? Ah said 'guid e'enin' didnae Ah?"

The blue renfairy closed her mouth with a click of her teeth, then said, "I, I'm so sorry...It's just that I've never seen anyone like you before!"

Dena smiled, "Thes is me first time haur." she glanced over at Roger and muttered, "Ah woodshae cam haur yestereve, had Ah ken it war sae much fun oanly mah guidman haur, didnae speart tae me abit whit went oan haur!"

She grinned at the two after she said that.

Roger, realizing what she had said, exclaimed "Since when did I become your guidman?"

"Since we shared a bed maur than three times, me loove! It's uir custom 'at when a cheil an' a hen share a bed maur than three times, they ur essentially guidman an' guidwife."

Dena grinned crookedly, "Th' ceremony is jist a formality!"

Roger groaned and said in a nearly strangled voice, "By that standard, I'm married to Freya, Sasha and half the sprites living in our house! I almost never sleep alone, you know that."

Freya at this point, leaned over and said quietly, "Dena, ye shoodsnae tease Roger th' way ye ken verra well 'at jist sleepin' taegaither doesnae mean a weddin' is in yoor near future."

Freya flushed slightly and muttered, "Besides, hees much tay large fur ye, ye cannae make loove tae heem."

Dena said coyly, "Och aye, 'Tis true Ah cannae make loove tae heem, but ye can. Hees nae tay big fer ye, lassie."

Freya flushed scarlet and Roger grumbled, "Okay Dena, I think you've done enough damage for one day. Teasing me like that is one thing, leave Freya out of it, okay?"

"Okay..."

Warren set his spoon down and declared, "Welp! I'm off to the after faire party...Who's with me?"

Astrid, as if sensing her companion's intentions rose to her feet and wagged her floofy tail.

The coterie of wild sprites on her side hastily rearranged themselves along her back, their chittering of surprise at her standing up suddenly, sounding like so many crickets to the unsighted humans nearby.

Maribel stood up and said brightly, "Let's paaar-tay!"

Not surprisingly, Dena joined Warren and the renfairies as they headed towards the party.

Anita said quietly, "For someone who may be older than any five of us here, she sure doesn't take criticism very well."

Roger muttered, "Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly, I really do, but Dena gets a little big for her tiny britches and goes overboard, if I don't try to rein her in."

He sighed, "It's one thing for her to tease me about our own relationship, dragging Freya into it that way was not called for. Dena knows better than anybody that I've been celibate and it is by my choice, not because I lack the opportunity."

He smiled at Freya and Anita, "Would you ladies care to join me in a bit of fun?"

They both smiled at him and after they had gathered up the soiled wooden platters and spoons and placed them in the washtub Laura had pointed out.

The trio joined hands and headed off to the party.

Following the sounds of revelry and merry making, they soon arrived at the 'Den of Iniquity' where the monks had set up a cask of their excellent ale and a line had formed to get said ale.

One of the monks called out, "Bring thine own tankard, if ye wish to imbibe!" as Roger and company got in line behind the singing group known as 'The Pocky Arse Mob'.

Two of them grinned at Roger standing between the towering Freya and the diminutive Anita.

One nudged the other and said in a stage whisper, "How does he rate two lovelies and such lovelies they are!" The other winked broadly and replied, "Yes, how does he rate two such lovelies as they?"

They would have taken it a bit further until the tall lead singer cleared his throat and said, "Gentlemen...These young ladies are just that, young ladies. Don't you two louts recall seeing the giantess just yesterday when it was announced she was only fourteen?"

Freya rolled her eyes and said, "Um guys? Ah'm reit haur?"

"Yes, you are and a lovely evening it is, young miss!" cried the tall singer.

He swept off his misshapen hat and bowed low, "And we look forward to the day when we can woo you with wooing words expressing our admiration and appreciation of your rare beauty!"

He was about to continue when a piccolo of a voice was heard below them,"Dear, hae ye seen me tankard?"

They all looked down to see Dena standing there in all her two foot tall glory.

The singers gaped and one of them blurted out, "Holy shit! Am I seeing things already?"

Roger muttered, "No, you're not seeing things. She is real alright and apparently, I'm now the keeper of her things."

He looked down at her and reached into his holding bag, fumbled around for a few moments, then handed her the tiny glass tankard he'd lent her for the day.

Solemnly he said, "Don't lose it, please."

Dena smiled, "Thenk ye dearest!" and she trotted off to join Warren and the renfairies in the ale line.

Once again, the singers gaped and once again, one of them said, "How in the name of all that's holy, did you work that out, how do you rate three?"

"Never mind that! How did you acquire a girl like her?" cried the shortest of the trio, who was wildly gesticulating in the general direction of Warren and his charming company.

Roger could only shrug and reply, "Gentlemen, you are laboring under the false notion that somehow, I have the stamina to keep abreast of three lovely ladies in matters of the heart."

He smiled, "Yes, we all live together in the same house, but we are not, living in sin."

He gestured at Anita and Freya, "These young ladies are, as you have already been informed, decidedly underage. The tiny one you just saw, aside from the fact she is waaay too small for carnal activities, is older than any five people you see here, combined. Dena herself does not really know how many times over she is a grandmother."

He grinned, "Sorry to disappoint you fellahs."

The short singer muttered, "So, you're not a living legend then?"

"Nope, just a mere mortal I'm afraid."

The short singer grinned, "We were hopin'!"

When it was their turn at the tap, Roger presented his tankard first, then stepped aside as Freya presented her tankard.

To his surprise, Anita stepped up and presented her own tankard.

As it was being filled, Roger commented, "I thought you didn't like ale?"

Anita smiled at him and said sweetly, "It's not that I don't like ale, it's that Jotun ale is way too strong for me. And besides, "

She grinned, "My tankard is a small one, so I can't get as much at one time!"

Roger chuckled and replied, "Your logic is impeccable, even if I don't get it, it works for you!"

Anita smiled at him in reply.

With foaming tankards in hand, the trio sought a place to sit and soon found a row of benches where they could watch the party whilst sipping their ale.

One of the bands was playing lively folk dance music and there were several couples enjoying themselves.

Roger chuckled when he saw Warren being put through his paces by an auburn haired woman he'd seen visiting the Karloff Library during a Portland Science Fantasy Society meeting.

She was laughing as Warren struggled to keep up while avoiding any spillage from his tankard.

He would ask Warren about her later on.

What really caught his eye was seeing Dena dancing by herself in front of the band.

She was whirling and kicking, her long blue dress hiked up a bit to reveal her pretty legs and daintily shod feet.

Her face was even more radiant in her happiness and her joy in the dance was apparent to all in attendance.

Oddly, Roger felt a pang of jealousy, he had never seen her so lively before and here she was, so gay and carefree amongst near perfect strangers.

He became distracted when one of the young Puritans approached Anita and asked her to dance.

Anita smiled brilliantly and got up to join him, leaving Roger to mind her tankard while she was gone.

When Roger looked back, Dena had been joined by Maribel and the two were twirling in unison, their faces wreathed in smiles.

Suddenly Freya was standing before him, a towering young woman, a Norse goddess come to earth.

She held out her hand, a smile on her pretty face.

Roger smiled back, "How can I refuse such a request on Sadie Hawkins Day!"

"Whit is Sadie Hawkins Day?" asked Freya as he rose to his feet and took her hand.

"I'll tell ya later!" Cried Roger as they began to dance.

Because Freya was so much larger than him, Roger felt like he was a small boy once again, dancing with one of his grandfather's lady friends, his head barely coming up to her swelling bosom.

Lost in the moment, Roger held onto Freya's taut waist with one hand and held her

free hand with the other.

Keeping in the spirit of Sadie Hawkins Day, Freya took the lead as they swirled about in the front of the stage, oblivious to the cheers and shouts of encouragement from the crowd, as they relished their moment of happiness.

When the music ended and they had stopped midstep, Freya smiled at him and with not a care in the world about who saw them or what they thought of them, lifted him in her arms with utter ease and kissed him quite soundly in front of all and sundry.

There was a tumultuous outbreak of cheers, whistles and clapping while their kiss lingered and when their lips reluctantly parted, a wag cried out "Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most one left them all behind!"

Another wag retorted, "Inconceivable!" and laughter ensued.

Freya smiled at him shyly and set him back down, her face a lovely shade of scarlet.

With his blood roaring in his ears, Roger clung to her and the two stood before the crowd until he let go of her.

Standing side by side, they blushed freely while one of the Pocky Arse singers cried out, "There goes my chances at finding a truly big girl!"

"And what, pray tell, is wrong with me?" Cried a towering brunette of operatic proportions who stood with hands on ample hips and breasts threatening to spill out of her piratical top as she thrust them forward like the prow of a Spanish galleon.

He peered at her and cried, "Martha? Is that you?!"

She cried, "George!" and the two rushed into a passionate embrace.

She was clearly a big woman, standing nearly a foot taller than him and heroically built.

Roger couldn't help muttering to Freya, "She's like a smaller version of your aunt Barbara. God help him!"

Freya giggled and whispered, "Whit diz it matter if they truly loove each other?"

He agreed with his towering young companion and they stood together, enjoying the antics of the faire folk after the normies had gone home.

The music played and the faire folk danced and sang, frequently exchanging partners in mid dance.

Roger had started out dancing with Freya and partway through the song, she whirled off with the two acrobats from the show earlier while he found himself dancing with tiny Maribel who smiled at him as they whirled and spun.

He smiled back at her, Maribel was one of the most adorable non fae women he had ever seen and unbeknownst to her, the tiny sprite sitting in her ivy circlet was also dancing.

A brilliant smile on her tiny face.

Roger said softly, "Did you know you have a wild sprite dancing in your ivy circlet?"

Maribel pressed herself against him and murmured, "Actually, I do, I can feel her dancing on my head."

Squeezing the tiny renfairy ever so gently he murmured, "You may find yourself living with a sprite or two, since this one likes you and we already know April likes you."

Maribel grinned, "And I like her too!"

"Good! Now here's what you do next..."

For the rest of that song, Roger told Maribel how to make her place sprite friendly and what to expect when one is hosting a sprite.

After exchanging a brief parting kiss, Roger and Maribel went their separate ways, her sprite still perched on her head.

As he watched her scampering away, and there really was no other way to describe her walk.

Roger mused, he had a feeling he was going to be seeing more of her in the future.

Hopefully, she wouldn't become a problem.

Feeling something tug on his trousers Roger looked down to see Dena smiling up at him.

Feeling courtly he asked, "Would you care to dance with me, fair lady?"

She pouted and replied,"Ah am afraid Ah'm nae taa enaw fur ye tae jink wi' me, guid sairr."

Roger grinned, "I'll be the judge of that!"

He glanced around and liberated one of the tall stools near the unoccupied ale stand.

Returning to where Dena was standing, he set it down then gently picked her up and set her on the stool.

With a grin he declared, "Now, may I have this dance?"

Dena extended her right hand with a brilliant smile, "Ay coorse ye main, hoo can Ah refuse sic' a gentleman's request?"

They joined hands, or rather Dena grasped his index finger with her right hand while he held her with just his left hand fingers.

Roger danced all around the stool while Dena turned in place as they danced together for the first time.

He had never seen her look happier than she looked tonight.

He murmured, "You look so radiant tonight, you really are, a beautiful girl Dena Greenwood."

She smiled warmly and replied softly, so softly her barely heard her, yet somehow he did, "A wuid guidwife is aye bonnie when she is wi' th' cheil 'at she looves, didne ye ken 'at?"

He smiled and murmured, "I did have my suspicions and I do love you too, little one."

Dena smiled and reached up as Roger lifted her from the stool, and while cradling her in his arms, Dena held his face in her hands as she kissed him quite thoroughly, her little tongue dancing against his.

Their lips parted quite reluctantly and he murmured, "That is sooo not fair, you know I've been celibate for a long time now and getting kissed first by Freya and now by you, is not helping matters."

Dena murmured, "Ah see nae sense in refrainin' frae somethin' 'at is sae enjoyable atween twa loovers. Ye dornt seem loch a monk, wa be celibate when life is sae cuttie fur yer kin'?"

Roger held her close as he sighed and murmured, "Now is not the time, or the place to discuss this and it is time we started for home. I'm sure by now, Silky is ready to strangle a couple of wolvies and a few sprites."

Dena smiled and kissed him again before he set her down and he began looking for Freya and Anita.

Freya was easy to find, being eight feet tall meant she stood out in any crowd.

She was chatting with the two acrobats she had gone up on stage with earlier that day and when Roger said, "I hate to be the big meanie here, but we gotta scoot before our house sitter kills somebody!"

Freya sighed and said to her new friends, "Ah am sorry, but Ah hae to lae ye."

She smiled, "Ah really enjoyed meitin' ye twa, it was fun!"

They smiled at her and one said, "And we enjoyed meeting you too Freya. Yes, it was fun and we hope to do it again someday."

Freya hesitated and fidgeted until Roger chuckled and said finally, "Go on, give them each one of your memorable hugs!"

Freya grinned and swept the one who had spoken into her arms, enveloping him in her warm embrace as she lifted him off the ground briefly.

Setting him down again, she kissed him and let him stagger away while she repeated her performance on the second acrobat.

As they walked away, one of the acrobats declared merrily, "Hugged and kissed by a giantess, I have been ruined for life! Never again shall I find comfort in the arms of a woman my own size!"

Anita was a bit more problematic, she was nowhere to be found.

Roger recalled seeing her dancing with one of the young Puritans earlier and he was nowhere to be found either.

He spotted Dena and said, "Have you seen Anita or that young man she was dancing with?"

"Nae, Ah huvnae seen them"

Roger grumbled, "We've gotta find her before she either loses her viginity, or goes for round two!"

"Diz it matter?"

"To me it does, she lives with us, that makes me the responsible adult until she's eighteen."

Roger sighed and said, "If she was living by herself and over eighteen, I wouldn't care. Let her enjoy a good bonking now and then, Maribel certainly did last night.

Anita is only fourteen and living with me, hence my being responsible for her."

"Ah!"

Ten minutes later, they found her and her young man still entwined in post coital bliss.

It was Dena that barged in on them and cried, "Gie yerself decent lassie, we've been lookin fur ye sae we can lae!"

Moments later, a very red faced Anita emerged from the tent she had shared with her paramour.

Right behind her was her young man, he gulped when he saw Roger glaring at him, "You had better not be over eighteen, young man!" growled Roger.

Anita stoutly declared, "He's sixteen and I've known him for years!"

Roger relaxed a bit, then sighed, "I hope you two had enough sense to wear protection. The last thing I need is explaining to your mom how you got pregnant."

Anita pouted and declared, "Give me some credit here, of course we wore protection. I sure don't want to go to the high school where all the pregnant girls get sent to!"

Roger muttered, "Any way, we're leaving...Let's go!"

Anita waved good night to her young lover and fell in behind Roger, Freya and Dena as they headed back to his van.

As they left the gates of Canterbury Shire, Dena turned around and spoke to the night air for a few moments in a language none of them recognized.

She then blew a kiss towards the faire grounds and the three of them saw a faint trail of sparkles streaking towards the faire at first, then it spread out and over the faire grounds before settling to the ground.

Dena smiled and said wistfully, "Ah enjoyed comin' haur an' seein' everythin' an' meetin' th' fowk an' 'at is wa Ah regrit havin' tae cest a speel ay forgetfulness. It will aw seem loch it was a dream tae them."

She sighed then reached for Roger.

As he picked her up she murmured, "Ah wish tae sleep wi' ye tonecht, Ah want tae be held."

Roger smiled at his tiny companion, "Holding you, I can do, you know that. There will always be room in my bed for you."

He grinned at her, "Now let's go home, Silky's likely waiting up for us and little April's probably wondering where her chocolate provider has gone off to."

Dena grinned at him and replied, "Ye ur far mair than 'er choclit provider, ye ur 'er safe place, 'er human."