Authors Note- Chapter is inspired by the song You're somebody Else by Flora Cash
Chapter 6
You're somebody else
Harry appeared in a dark alley. His head was spinning, and his knees felt weak. He reached a hand out and leaned heavily against the brick wall of an old building. The alley stunk of old garbage heated by the summer weather. A gentle breeze fluttered the invisibility cloak around him. He was thankful that he and the cloak had remained in one piece. His thoughts were spinning. A million questions were coming to mind, and he didn't even know how to process any of them when it felt like a bowling ball was now slamming into his skull.
With a deep breath Harry closed his eyes and pictured his forest in his mind. He felt the weight of the questions roll off him, and naturally sort themselves. He watched as the black dog made wide laps around him weaving between the trees. The animal made him feel safe. Once the emotions felt sorted and the hastily sorted memories found a new home, he took another deep breath.
Harry opened his eyes once again and pulled himself up straight. He needed to get himself sorted out now. He was sure he had a concussion. His ribs had taken a lot of damage today. And he thought one of the bandages on his arm was coming loose. At the bare minimum he would need to get those things sorted.
Harry took his first tentative steps. His head pounded in time with his heart. His vision also seemed a little blurry. He wasn't sure if the blurriness was from his glasses, The cloak in front of his face or blows to his head.
Focusing as much as he could, he walked slowly out of the alley way and into the street. He kept his eyes peeled for anyone walking by. He saw no one on the street. As he glanced up the street he could see his destination. He could only hope no one was watching. He couldn't afford to be caught now. Too much had happened today. He could not be sent back now. He also believed he might not survive returning tonight. Not in his condition and certainly not with the way he had left.
Pushing the rusty gate open, he glanced around. The gate screeched loudly. Most people would not be able to see the house. But the people who could were the ones he was worried about in that moment. Seeing no movement, he proceeded up the walk and onto the porch. The first light rain drops fell on his head. forcing out a silent breath he pushed the door open.
Taking a quick step in and then closing the door. Grimmald place looked exactly as it had the last time he had been here. Surely the place had other wards and would no doubt alert someone that he was here. However, he hoped that he would have a moment to get himself together before then.
Harry walked as quietly as he could. He kept his eyes peeled and his ears listening as he moved. Looking sidelong into the sitting room he noticed that the portrait was covered. Good he thought. He heard no sounds in the house other than his own steps. Feeling slightly more confident he quickly slipped to the end of the hall and down the steps into the basement kitchen.
Opening the kitchen door slowly he glanced around and noticed it too was empty. Breathing a sigh of relief, he stepped into the kitchen and removed his cloak. He laid the cloak and his bag on the kitchen table and headed for the pantry.
The twins had informed him that there was a full stock of potions and first aid supplies in the back of the pantry. They had told him if he ended up here next summer and they weren't there they still wanted him to be able to get patched up. They had also for the first time suggested that he tell someone else what was going on.
Harry had turned them down. He told them it would only be two more summers. He would make it. They had given each other unsure glances but once again promised they would always help him and that they would keep his secrets. They had then healed lash marks on his back and then wrapped most of his torso to hold several broken ribs in place. Harry shuddered at the memory. Last summer was bad.
Stepping into the pantry. He wished he had some light to see better. His right palm suddenly felt warm. He glanced down and was startled to notice that his hand looked like it was glowing. Turning his hand palm up a small orb floated up above his head and illuminated the space.
Harry felt a strange sense of Déjà vu. He didn't think he had ever done this before but somehow, he was certain he had. Shaking the strange feeling from his mind he quickly collected his supplies and returned to the kitchen. The glowing ball faded away as he left the dark pantry. He grabbed a glass from the drying rack and filled it with tap water and quickly took the potion that indicated it was for concussions. He knocked back the potion allowing as little of it to touch his tongue as possible. Harry still gagged slightly at the taste and texture. Taking a deep breath, he took a sip of Skele-gro and a vial of pain potion. He quickly chugged down the water and took a deep breath. His head was already starting to clear. His ribs would take longer but hopefully no more than a day or so. The pain that seemed to radiate from every part of his body began to ebb slightly.
Harry sat down heavily into one of the wobbly chairs around the oversized table. Letting out a long sigh he lowered his head to the table. His mind swirled with everything that had happened. He had no idea what he was going to do. He had run away, again.
Harry groaned out loud.
"What am I supposed to do now?" Harry spoke to the empty room.
With a sigh he gathered the empty vials he returned to the pantry and placed them in the empty's basket. He collected his cloak and bag and once again became invisible as he made his way back to the main floor of the house. He was still mostly sure no one was here but he didn't want to count on that just in case. He didn't know why the house was empty. Surely someone from the Order must be staying here. Even with Sirius dead the house was still headquarters, wasn't it?
Harry made his way up the stairs to the upper floors. He passed the elf heads with a shudder. He felt his anger well at thoughts of Kreacher. He didn't know where the old house elf was and frankly he wasn't sure he cared. Guilt was quick to follow. Kreacher was just a mistreated slave of the Black family. It wasn't his fault.
It's my fault that Sirius is dead. Harry thought. The ball of grief and guilt swelled inside of him.
Harry moved past the rooms that they had stayed in over the holidays. Harry was extra quiet passing His and Ron's room he knew the portrait was of a Black ancestor who had been headmaster, and had a portrait hanging in Dumbledore's office. He didn't need to be caught by a portrait.
Harry moved up more flights of stairs. Finally coming to the room he was looking for. With a sigh he turned the handle and pushed the door open to Sirius' room.
Harry felt a knot lodge in his throat. His eyes scanned the room. Memories of last summer came flooding back.
Memory-
Harry sat on his bed with Ron and Hermione playing exploding snap. They had given up on trying to listen to the order meeting. Even the twins hadn't had any luck since the extendable ears had been discovered by Mrs. Weasley earlier.
"I'm so glad you're finally here. We're sorry we couldn't send letters. But we really have missed you." Hermione said softly looking at Harry across the bed.
"Yeah. Sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have blown up on you guys." Harry said a little sheepishly. He had really laid into his friends when he had arrived earlier.
Harry had spent the last three days waiting for someone to contact him after fighting off the dementors. He had been terrified and hurt and cold. The dementors had done a number on him but he had been locked back in his room and had no access to chocolate. He had also had one of the worst beatings of his life after the Dursleys had returned from the hospital with Dudley. He was sure he was going to be expelled and left to die at Privet drive. By the time he was collected by the Order he had been desperate enough to leave with the next traveling salesman or Death Eater to pass the house.
His temper had run away with him at seeing everyone so calm and safe together at Grimmald. Everyone seemed so unconcerned about everything. Yes, they would 'have to go to the hearing'. And 'sorry we didn't say anything earlier but Happy birthday.' It was truly the last straw. His temper had burned white hot and then burned out to be replaced with guilt for shouting at his friends. He had missed them too and it truly hadn't been their fault. Dumbledore had stopped everyone from communicating with Harry for fear something would get shared.
"We understand Harry. Like I said earlier will work on some form of communication so that we don't run into this problem again." Hermione said, determination setting on her face.
Ron laughed.
"Hermione our group problem solver." Ron jibed.
The laughter was broken by a soft knock on the door. When the door swung open Sirius stepped into the room.
"Hey kids. Molly's got dinner about done." Sirius said looking over the group an unexplainable longing on his face.
"Um. Harry could we talk for a few minutes?" Sirius said with a nervous twinge in his voice.
"Yeah. Sure." Harry said, laying down the cards in his hand.
Harry stood and took one more glance back at his friends.
"I'll meet you guys downstairs." Harry said following Sirius out of the room.
Harry followed Sirius through the dark house. It felt like the walls were radiating in dark magic. It made harry shudder. The air felt stuffy, and the smell of old moldy furniture lingered everywhere.
Sirius pushed open a door and Harry noticed the sign on the door. This was Sirius's room. But Harry hadn't noticed any other doors with such signs.
"Why's your name on the door?" Harry asked softly as they made it into the room.
Sirius had a look on his face somewhere between a grimace and a smirk.
"This was my bedroom as a child." Sirius said nonchalantly.
Harry watched as Sirius flopped on the messy bed. The wall above the bed definitely looked like a teenage boy's room. Not unlike Dudley's room. Although if 'Precious Dudders' had dared to display such racy photos of women on his wall Aunt Petunia would have gone spare. Although Harry knew that Dudley kept quite the collection of magazines under his bed. Harry had discovered that revolting fact one day while cleaning. Harry had never really understood. Women were beautiful but it just seemed wrong to Harry. He had never seen the appeal of such images.
Harry's mind started to drift into other darker memories and Harry pulled himself back to the present.
"You grew up here?" Harry asked. Hoping to move alone whatever this conversation was going to be.
"Yeah." Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.
Harry didn't know much about Sirius' childhood, but Harry was sure growing up in a place like this hadn't been enjoyable.
Sirius climbed off the bed and walked to the desk under the window. Harry watched as he shuffled through the papers and lifted a box.
"I um…I have something for you." Sirius whispered.
Harry cocked an eyebrow. Why was Sirius acting so strange. Harry took some slow steps towards Sirius.
"Um. Okay. What is it?" Harry asked tentatively.
Sirius turned and approached Harry with the box. There was a goofy red bow sitting on top. It looked a little crumpled like Sirius had found it in the bottom of a box of Christmas decorations. But Harry smiled anyway. He knew Sirius had been in hiding. He could hardly walk into a store to buy a bow. Harry let out a little laugh at the mental image of Sirius in a muggle store buying gift wrap.
"What's so funny?" Sirius asked with a smirk.
Harry shook his head.
"Nothing Siri. Just thinking your bow may have seen better days." Harry said with a grin.
Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
"Yes, well, I may have salvaged it from a box of stuff Dumbledore brought. I believe it originally was stuck to the top of a bottle of whiskey for my birthday." Sirius said a little wistfully. That longing had returned to his eyes.
Harry narrowed his eyes. Sirius seemed a million miles away at that moment. Lost in some old memory. Harry understood the look from before. He was missing his friends. Harry felt a pang in his chest. It was his fault that Sirius was in pain. His fault that his parents had died. They should have just let Voldemort kill him. The life he had been left with hadn't been worth saving.
Harry cleared his throat and blinked back the tears before Sirius noticed.
"So what is it?" Harry asked with a smirk.
Sirius seemed to come back to himself at Harry's words and returned the smirk.
"A little mischief to be managed." Sirius responded cryptically.
Harry's eyebrows scrunched together as he took the black box from Sirius' outstretched hand.
The box was heavy and solid. Made of some kind of dark wood. Maybe Ebony. It had a brass latch in the front with a small lock hanging from it.
Harry looked at the top of the box and noticed the key was hanging from the bow. Holding the box in one hand he removed the bow and then felt he didn't have enough hands as the key started to slide.
Sirius laughed.
"Come on kid. Come and sit with me." Sirius sat back on the bed the way Harry had been sitting on his own bed just a short while ago. His back to the headboard and his legs stretched out. He patted the bed next to him and Harry took a deep breath. He wasn't afraid. But maybe apprehensive. He liked to keep his distance from people. This would put Harry and Sirius nearly shoulder to shoulder. Even Ron and Hermione rarely sat that close to him. He always let them choose their seats first so that he could choose where he wanted to sit.
Swallowing the lump in his throat he made his legs move.
"Jeez Harry you look like your headed to the gallows instead of to open a birthday gift." Sirius joked.
Harry let out a huff of a laugh and plastered a smile on his face hoping it didn't look fake.
Sitting as close to the edge of the bed as he could he rested the box in his lap.
"Well go on. I'm not sure how long will have before Molly comes hunting for us. Woman treats feeding everyone like a full-time job." Sirius said in mock seriousness.
Harry snorted. He knew it was true.
Harry placed the key in the lock and twisted. The lock fell open. Harry pulled it out and set it on his thigh. He glanced over to Sirius. Despite this being his fifth birthday in the wizarding world he still felt strange getting gifts. He still expected them to be snatched out of his hands and laughter to follow. He would never forget the cruelness of the birthday prank the Dursleys had played on him when he turned six.
It was the first time he knew it was his birthday. He had learned it that year at school. When he had asked his aunt about it, they had said of course he had a birthday. He was clearly just stupid to not know that. Which hadn't made since. He had always been told freaks didn't have birthdays. Later they had given him a present wrapped in beautiful blue paper and tied with an emerald, green ribbon. Harry had been so happy. The ribbon had matched his eyes. Harry had taken the gift and as tiny hesitant fingers went to open the box his uncle had snatched it away. Two of his fingers had been broken in Vernon's tight grasp as they laughed. They had told him he was ungrateful and greedy. Then he had spent two days outside getting rained on.
"Go on Harry I know I said mischief, but I promise nothing will jump out at you." Sirius laughed. He clearly thought Harry's hesitation was about having a prank pulled on him. Which it was but not a fun prank like the Weasley's like to pull.
Harry popped the latch open and flipped the lid back.
Harry stared at the strange assortment of items. There was an empty crystal vial, a leaf in what looked like a muggle sandwich bag, and some kind of dead bug? There was a slip of crumpled paper, an old ring and an envelope at the bottom. The whole box was a question. Had Sirius just collected random items from around this old dark house and tossed them in a box? Maybe Sirius had lost more of his mind in Azkaban than Harry had thought.
"Siri, I um...Thank you." Harry said. Although it had come out sounding a little like a question. He didn't want to hurt Sirius' feelings. He had at least remembered his birthday. Harry let a tight smile stretch across his face.
"I appreciate you remembering my birthday." Harry said quietly. He didn't dare stick his hand in the box. The bug thing might not be the only slightly gross thing in the box. Somehow he still felt warm inside despite the strange gift.
Sirius scooted closer to Harry and investigated the box. He let out a startling loud laugh very close to Harry. Harry flinched at the loud sound and the proximity.
"Oh Harry." Sirius howled as he rolled back against the headboard and wrapped his arms around his middle. His body was shaking with laughter.
"You're too polite kid. You're just going to thank me for a box that looks like I scooped out an old desk drawer. I guess I should have explained before you opened the box. Probably think I've bloody lost the plot." Sirius said through the end of his laughter.
Harry blushed bright red. He had thought something along those lines. Although given the laughter he wasn't sure he was wrong yet. He knew to be grateful for anything he had been given. He had learned that lesson hard growing up. He was thankful for every day he was allowed to wake up at this point.
"Sorry, I um.." Harry stammered, blushing more. He didn't know what to say.
Sirius waved him off and reached into the box. "This phial has received pure moon rays. Had to sneak out to the back garden to manage that." Sirius said moving the phial from the box and setting it on the blanket in front of him.
"This is the chrysalis of a Death's-head Hawk Moth, And this is a mandrake leaf. Will need the dew but Moony's working on that and then will just need the hair and saliva." Sirius said with a manic gleam in his eyes as he looked at Harry.
Harry felt so confused. It sounded like potions ingredients.
"Are…are we brewing some kind of potion?" Harry asked unsure of what was happening.
Sirius nodded vigorously. His grin filled his whole face. He truly looked like a nutter. Harry nodded back still unsure. He was sure he had told Sirius that he wasn't very fond of brewing. He wasn't the worst when stray objects weren't flying into his cauldron from the Slytherin's, but it still wasn't exactly his favorite. Harry felt slightly disappointed thinking that Sirius didn't really know him. He would have preferred to think that Sirius had found random objects to have a gift to give, rather than to think his godfather didn't know him or listen to him.
Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. That was unkind of him to think. Sirius had done something for him. He should be grateful. Maybe the potion would do something cool. Sirius had said they were up to mischief.
Sirius held out the crumpled paper. Harry hoped it would explain. Maybe it was the name of the potion or the recipe or the prank.
Harry unfolded the paper and furrowed his brows again. It wasn't a potion. It was a spell.
"Amato Animo Animato Animagus" Harry read out loud. It couldn't be.
Harry's eyebrow shot up to his hairline and he spun around to look at Sirius who was just watching him.
"Sirius…is…is this what I think it is?" Harry rasped out.
Sirius nodded.
"You said you wanted to become an Animagus like your dad and me. This is kind of a short cut since I collected the supplies for it and hope to guide you through the process. We all did this work ourselves, but fifth year is when we all managed it. So I…. Well I got everything. The leaf must be in your mouth for a month. It would be better to do it now before you go back to school. I can put a sticking charm on it. That's what we eventually did. Don't know how many we swallowed before we finally figured that out." Sirius let out another bark of laughter.
"Um. We should be able to brew the night before you go back to school if you manage to keep the leaf in your mouth…you need to say the spell every morning with your wand to your heart after we brew the potion. Once you feel a second heartbeat you just wait for an electrical storm and then take the potion. Then you meditate on your animal and transform…Hopefully. And hopefully you'll be able to transform ….um…it's definitely not without risk Harry." Sirius said somberly.
Harry was nodding the whole time. This was by far the most amazing thing he had ever been given. He wanted so much to learn this. The little nerd he had been as a child hovered at the surface of his consciousness.
"I won't force you to do this Harry. But war is coming. Anything you can learn will be an asset. I know everyone sees me as irresponsible or immature. And I am. But I really care about you Harry. I want us to be a family when this is all over. You, Remus and me. But we must survive to do that." Sirius voice began to crack as he spoke. His words moved from concerned to almost wistful then back to concern.
Harry nodded. He had tears briming in his eyes again and blinked them back he wouldn't cry. He still didn't know Professor Lupin that well outside of the roll of professor, but he knew that they were close friends.
"I'll do it." Harry rasped.
Sirius cleared his throat.
"Alright well open up. I found you a small one, but you'll still need to be careful that no one see's it. Which cheek?" Sirius questioned.
Harry pointed to his left and opened his mouth. This felt extremely uncomfortable. But he trusted Sirius and he would do anything to see the end of the war. To maybe one day have a family.
Sirius pulled the leaf from the box and gently placed it on the inside of Harrys cheek. Harry made a slight gagging sound at the taste.
"Horrid I know but you'll get used to it. I recommend strong tea whenever you can, it helps. Now move it around with your tongue until it's as comfortable as it can be, and I'll add the sticking charm." Sirius said.
Harry nodded and proceeded to wiggle the leaf around in his mouth until it lay flat and mostly unnoticeable when his mouth was closed. He nodded to Sirius and avoided swallowing his spit for fear he would swallow the leaf. This was such a kind gift and Harry would hate to mess it up so quickly.
Harry opened his mouth and Sirius cast the sticking charm. Harry only flinched slightly as the wand was pointed at his face. Apparently, Sirius didn't notice.
"There you go pup. Now will brew the potion and it can go in the box and you can take it with you to school. I would like to think you could make your first transformation here. Maybe at Christmas or next summer but if you feel that second heart beat you need to drink the potion during the next electrical storm. Understand?" Sirius asked.
Harry nodded. Swallowing the slightly sour spit in his mouth.
"Yes, I understand."
"Good now sit back we have one more thing to talk about and then you can look in the envelope." Sirius directed.
Harry obeyed and scooted back so he was sitting against the headboard next to Sirius. His heart speed up a little he had no idea what they would be talking about but He didn't like the serious tone Sirius was using.
Sirius hand dipped into the box and pulled out the ring, he twisted it around for a moment in his hand and then handed it to Harry and began to speak.
"Harry, do you remember when I sent you the firebolt?" Sirius asked.
Harry nodded.
"Obviously as a convict on the run I had no funds. What you might not know is that Gringotts doesn't get involved in wizarding matters. Always respect the goblins Harry it will only be beneficial." Sirius said.
Harry nodded again. He had always tried to be kind and respectful to everyone. And especially the beings of this world who other wizards seem to see beneath them. Harry knew what it was like to be an intelligent being that is seen as lesser.
"Good. Now when I was on the run, I went to Gringotts. I spoke with the Black account manager. I knew that both of my parents had passed away while I was in prison…" Harry interrupted at this point.
"What? I am so sorry Sirius. That must have been awful." Harry said. His eyes wide as he turned and looked Sirius in the face.
Sirius gave Harry a kind smile.
"Don't worry about it, kid. They don't deserve your kindness. The screaming portrait downstairs?" Sirius said and Harry nodded as his brows furrowed.
"That's my mother. Trust me, she wasn't any less vile in life. And my father was pushing my brother and I to be marked as Death Eaters." Sirius Spat.
Harry was surprised to hear the hate in his godfather's voice. He hadn't heard it this strong since the night in the shrieking shack.
"What did you do?" Harry whispered.
Sirius smirked.
"I ran away from home. I was sixteen." Sirius said.
"Where…Where did you go?" Harry asked.
"Your dad's. I was always welcome at the Potter's" Sirius replied with a nod.
Harry nodded. He wished he had a place he could run away to. He knew he was always welcome at the Weasley's but there were to many people controlling his life. He would never be allowed to stay without Dumbledore's say so.
"Anyway, when that happened, I was informed I was disowned. However, what I found out when I went to Gringotts is that it was not truly a disownment. It would look bad to disown the eldest son. So, while I was there, I took over the lordship and wrote my Will. I have made you, my Heir Harry. You will be lord Black when I die. And Everything in the Black name will become yours."
Harry shook his head. He didn't want to think about Sirius dying. And he didn't deserve to be anyone's Heir. What did that even mean?
"Yes Harry. James knew I wouldn't likely ever have children and he knew you would already have the Potter Heirship, but we were always brothers. And I always considered you mine. You loved your uncle Paddy when you were a baby." Sirius mused.
Harry felt his emotions were all over the place. Sirius considered Harry his? What did that even mean? Like his son? Harry felt a little lightheaded. He wanted to be wanted so badly. Then the wash of guilt came back. He didn't deserve that. He was being greedy again. Harry lowered his head and looked down into the box. His hands fidgeted with the latch. He didn't know what to say.
"Don't worry Harry. Hopefully I'll be around for a long time, and I'll get you some of the books out of the black library on heirs and lords and all that posh stuff." Sirius laughed.
Harry huffed a slight laugh.
"Alright enough of the heavy stuff. This ring is yours. It is the Black Heir ring. You should wear it. I can dissolution it if you like but it has some protections on it even if you don't want to wear it as the status symbol it is meant to be."
Harry Nodded.
"I don't think I'd like to fight Malfoy for top posh prat at school." Harry joked.
Sirius laughed.
"Good. Okay middle finger on your left hand." Sirius instructed and Harry complied and felt a wash of magic over his body. If felt warm and comforting.
Sirius nodded and plucked the last item from the box.
"I know you have a few but I thought you might like a few more." Sirius said, placing the envelope carefully in Harry's hand.
Harry looked up at his godfather who gave him a tight smile.
Harry looked back at the envelope. It was slightly thick and as he turned it over and opened the flap his breath caught. Photo's. It was full of photos. Maybe five. Harry treasured his photo album above all of his other possessions, even his cloak and wand.
"Well go on." Sirius said.
Harry opened the envelope and pulled the stack out.
Harry savored each photo like it was the sweetest candy. The first was of a sun-bathed room with a woven rug. Padfoot was curled up on the rug and snugged tightly against his side was a baby with dark hair. Harry guessed he must have been around one in the picture.
The next was certainly his first birthday. His parents were on either side of him in a yellow highchair. All three of them wore muggle party hats in different colors. Harry's chubby little baby cheeks were covered in chocolate cake. The moving Wizarding photo showed he was waving chocolate covered hands around. His parents were laughing. Harry's green eyes almost glittered in the photo. Although Harry noticed that his hair had been charmed red. It was almost the same shade as his mother's.
The next picture was of Sirius holding a bundle in his arms with Remus sitting close beside him. They looked like they were in the hospital. Harry assumed it must be the day he was born. His face was only partially visible. Both Remus and Sirius had huge grins on their faces as they looked down at the tiny bundle. Harry noticed something off about the photo. He shifted it back and forth and saw that his hair was once again charmed, this time a dark blue.
The next photo was in the same place as the first, on the woven rug. This time baby Harry was sitting on the floor with his toys. He appeared to be playing with small stuffed animals. A Black dog clutched in one hand and a grey wolf in the other. A pair of deer rested on his lap and a rat sat next to his feet.
The last photo was outside some place. Harry didn't recognize the landscape. He was sat in Remus' lap with Sirius on one side and James on the other both appeared to be sweaty and windswept as if they had just come down from flying. Although now that Harry looked, he was sure that he could make out broom handles laying just behind them. Harry once again noticed his charmed hair and wondered if it was some kind of prank war his parents and their close friends had. In this photo his hair matched Remus, a honey blonde brown and it even seemed a little long compared to his hair in other photos.
Harry sat the last photo in his lap and laughed. They were lovely pictures, and he would add them to his album right away.
"Why don't you ever change your appearance." Sirius voice broke Harry from his concentration.
"What?" Harry Said turning to face Sirius.
"Why don't you ever change your appearance?" Sirius asked again with a puzzled look on his face.
Harry was taken aback by the seemingly irrelevant question. Harry looked down at his clothes. His jeans and T-shirt where several sizes too big and had stains. The knee of one pantleg was ripped and the hem of his shirt was lightly frayed. Harrys face flamed red. He didn't want to discuss his horrible attire. He hated not having proper clothing.
"You mean my clothing?" Harry questioned quietly.
Sirius shook his head.
"No, your hair and eyes like you did as a baby. Tonks says she apparently preferred blue as a baby and now mostly favors pink." Sirius casually remarked.
Harry once again looked at Sirius like he had lost the plot.
"What are you talking about?"
In an uncharacteristic move Sirius bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows then sat forward.
"What do you mean?" Sirius demanded.
Harry backed away slightly. He did not like the sharp tone or dark look in Sirius eyes. He had no idea what Sirius was talking about. His mind raced for a moment and out of the corner of his eye caught the photos on his lap. Remembering all the strange, charmed hair he tried to formulate a question that would hopefully clarify what they were talking about.
"Um…Do you mean like a charm? Like in the pictures. I noticed my hair was charmed in some of them. I thought it was some kind of prank thing with my parents or something." Harry squeaked.
Sirius gave him a disgruntled look.
Harry could feel his body trembling. He didn't know what he had done wrong, but he would keep his head down and stay calm until he knew how to fix this.
Sirius looked over Harry searching for something.
"I guess you do change. Your freckles are missing. You got those from your mum you know." Sirius mused.
Harry really felt uncomfortable right now. He didn't want to confront Sirius. He had given him priceless gifts for his birthday. But He wasn't making any sense. He knew he didn't have freckles. Taking a deep breath, he steady himself to try and get some answers to Sirius strange questions.
"Um…Sirius…I really have no idea what you're talking about. I don't have freckles. I think it's cute you all charmed my hair as a baby but it's not ever something I considered doing to myself." Harry said in the most even tone he could manage.
Sirius once again had a strange, confused look on his face.
"We didn't charm your hair, Harry. You are a metamorphmagus. Like Tonks. You can change your looks at will." Sirius said still with a confused look on his face.
"But I've never changed my appearance. I…well…I guess I did grow my hair back after a bad haircut, but I thought that was just accidental magic." Harry replied.
"Come here Harry." Sirius said climbing off the bed and heading over to a standing mirror next to the wardrobe.
Harry followed cautiously. Sirius must be mistaken. How could he have such an ability and not know.
Harry stood next to Sirius and looked at the reflections in the mirror. Harry only came to about Sirius' shoulder. Sirius had shoulder length hair that hung in soft waves. It looked so much better than it had when Harry had met him a little over a year ago.
"Okay, so I think if you focus you should be able to imagine yourself with something different. Try to think about your hair a different color or length or something.
Harry focused on his hair being like Sirius' and to his astonishment it changed from its slightly curly birds-nest to soft waves and fell to his shoulder. Harry gasped.
Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
"You really look like my Heir now."
Harry smiled. As he watched his face, he noticed his green eyes fade to a steal grey like Sirius. His nose got a little pointier and his cheek bones were a little higher.
A startled laugh came from Harry as he ran his hand over his face.
Harry changed his eyes a few more times. They went bright blue like Rons. Then dark brown like Hermione's. His features softened a little and then his eyes changed to amber like Remus. Harry smirked. He looked like a mix of Remus and Sirius now.
Harry heard Sirius gasp beside him and looked in the mirror at Sirius. His eyes were a little moist and his mouth hung open a little. When he caught that Harry was watching his mouth snapped shut and he smirked.
"You always were the child of the marauders. When you were a baby, you used to change to look more like whoever was watching you. Lil's used to say it was your way of sucking up. Said you already had us all wrapped around your little finger before you even took your first steps." Sirius said. Followed by another bark of laughter.
Harry smiled. He loved to hear about his family. Growing up without a real family left a gaping hole in his heart that he felt would never be filled. It did feel soothing though, knowing at one time he was part of a family. He had been loved. Until he destroyed it all. Harry's smile began to fade.
"Harry, I hate to ask you to keep secrets. But it looks like you have probably suppressed this ability and I'm guessing no one knows. It seems like you have pretty good control over it. You should probably not tell anyone Harry. This like the Animagus can be used to your advantage if you ever need to hide. You can tell those you trust, although you should probably keep it limited." Sirius said earnestly.
Harry nodded. That made sense. He knew that a constantly changing appearance would only draw more attention and that was the last thing he wanted. His appearance changed back to normal.
"I…I do wonder though if I could ask a favor." Sirius nervously asked.
"Anything Sirius." Harry said. He would do anything for Sirius.
"I know this is the face that everyone knows. This is your normal. But I know it's not your base form. It's not what the real you looks like. Do you….um…Do you think you can show me. It's just I spent a lot of time with you as a baby. I knew every freckle and the way your hair curled. I would just like to see what that baby looks like all grown up now.
Harry thought about it. He didn't know he had lived in a changed appearance, but he could do this for his godfather. He closed his eyes and concentrated on being 'just Harry'. He wondered if he would like his normal form.
"There's my Harry." Sirius whispered beside him.
Harry opened his eyes and was a little taken aback. His overall appearance hadn't changed much. Although to Harry's alarm his "true form" was in fact somehow shorter. His hair was a little longer but still a tangled mess. His eyes were the same although everything seemed blurrier then normal.
Harry pulled his glasses off and got closer to the mirror. He really couldn't see without his glasses now. He wondered if he had somehow improved his vision with this ability to compensate for his horrid eyesight.
Looking in the mirror he noticed he had a smattering of light freckles sprinkled across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. His nose was a little different and his mouth was a lot different. He smiled and noticed he had dimples. His face shape hadn't changed much, and his chin and jaw were still mostly the same. He was thankful that his eyes hadn't changed at all.
"I don't look like my dad with my moms' eyes. I look like my mom with my dad's hair." Harry mused. A little giggle escaped him. He loved how he really looked. His face still looked thin from being underfed his whole life. But this boy looking back at him from the mirror felt like it was really him. Not a symbol, not a hero. Just a kid. Just Harry.
"Yeah, you do. You're a good mix of both really. I was confused when I first saw you. You looked so much like James you could have been his double. Except your eyes. But I knew you had freckles and these cute little dimples." Sirius said, reaching out and giving his godson's cheek a light pinch.
Harry's face blushed.
"I wish I could stay like this. I just wish I could just be myself." Harry whispered.
"I know you do kid. But we know who you really are. You can always be yourself with me and Moony, Harry. I promise. We don't expect you to be anything but you. Ok?" Sirius said looking at Harry in the mirror.
"Thanks Siri." Harry whispered.
Harry allowed his appearance to fade back to normal. From that moment on he would consider this his 'Boy-who-lived look' and the true form his 'Just Harry' appearance.
-End memory-