AN: Work's kicking my ass and I'm also dealing with the workload of a new class I've started this week, and somehow I managed to get both this thing out and also that Sha-Sam one-shot on short notice. Small victories, I suppose, hehe.
For anyone who hasn't seen it yet, I'd like to call your attention to a story called Stupor Heroics: Fan Friction. My buddy Zeobide274 decided to write a one-shot based off chapter 6 of Stupor Heroics, and I think it's pretty great. If you like my story, definitely check out his take on my work. And also his other stuff. He's a great writer and we enjoy a lot of the same things, so if you like my stories then you'll probably find something to like in his body of work.
X3corez: Rita and Lynn Sr. aren't metas, they live quiet, comfortable lives thanks to the money their successful daughters send home. Some of which may or may not be in the form of small, unmarked bills.
nobodyreallyimportant: To be fair, when he was growing up the Louds destroyed their own home plenty of times even without super powers. So strictly speaking, this isn't too out of the ordinary.
Out amid the darkness of space, a shining beam of light could be seen streaking across the endless, star speckled vacuum. An observer might mistake this phenomenon for a comet, or a shooting star, but a closer examination would reveal a heavenly body of an entirely different variety, as one would be able to see the beautiful blonde woman nestled within the shimmering light. Clad in a sky blue leotard, which left her shapely legs as well as a considerable expanse of cleavage exposed, boots and finger-less gloves several shades darker, the heroine known as Luminary soared through the cosmos, her long white cape fluttering behind her in the nonexistent breeze. A weary smile worked its way onto her face as the familiar sight of the Justice Tower, a massive orbital station dedicated to meta-human operations, came into view. She had planned for a long mission, and it had ended up even longer still. But now her goal was finally in sight, and it wouldn't be long before she could finally treat herself to a well-deserved rest.
A buzzing in her ear pulled the woman from her tantalizing fantasies of a hot shower and a warm bed, and it was with no small amount of irritation that she reached up and activated the com-bead lodged there.
"Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight..."
"Very funny." She grumbled, allowing her mask to slip for the briefest of moments. Luminary was a public icon, hero to many and a positive role model to even more. She was required to be on her best behavior at all times. But here, out in the dark reaches of space, far away from the cameras and the thousands of prying eyes that were always upon her (specifically certain parts of her), it was therapeutic to allow Lori Loud to come out every now and then.
"Copy that, Luminary. Just trying to have a little fun." Replied a very peeved female voice.
"Do it on your own time." Lori growled. "I'm guessing that means you've seen me and I'm cleared to land, right?" It was difficult to keep the urgency out of her voice. Even wrapped in a protective cocoon of cosmic energy, space was surprisingly cold. And also dirty, movies never mentioned how much grim where was floating about out here. Not a day went by without her deeply regretting her decision to make a white cape part of her look, but at this point it was simply too iconic to change. At least, that's what the folks in marketing told her, and she presumed they knew what they were talking about. The exorbitant salaries they charged certainly suggested as much.
"Roger, Airlock C has been cleared for your use. Head on over and then come visit, I'll have a nice pot of coffee ready for your arrival."
That did sound nice. "Thanks. I'll see you in a few, Telek...Telek..." Lori grimaced as she stumbled over the name for what had to be the millionth time by this point.
"It's Telekinemiss." The voice chastised her, sounding indignant. "Because I'm a girl and I have telekinesis!"
"It's a mouth full, is what it is." Lori countered, discretely spitting out a bit of space dust that had managed to make it past her aura. "Just get the coffee ready and I'll see you in a few, Whitney."
"And here you go." Announced the curly haired blonde as Lori stepped into the Justice Tower's data center. "Stepped" was actually giving her a bit too much credit, even after all these years transitioning out of a zero-G environment still left her a little disorientated, and flying around only delayed the inevitable. Lori had learned that the best way to deal with the problem was just to suck it up and wobble around for a bit, especially here on the Tower where her fellow heroes were willing to politely look the other way, and the walls were sturdy enough that she could cling to one without accidentally punching a hole in it.
"Thank you, Whitney." Lori replied, her tone somewhat terse as she eyed the steaming mug in her friend's hand. Once again, Whitney was handing her the piping hot cup of scalding liquid while still holding onto the handle. But, seeing as she'd already snapped at the girl earlier, Lori simply grabbed the mug without further complaint, her powers kicking in almost without conscious thought and draining the heat from the porcelain so that she could comfortably hold the cup without discomfort. Once again, that particular trick was paying dividends. It said something when in an organization that regularly dealt with threats both planetary and interplanetary, the most common injury for staff members was being given a hot drink by Whitney.
Realizing she'd been staring musing just a bit too long, Lori took a quick sip of the now significantly cooler drink, and "mmm'd" loudly. Truth be told, it wasn't all that great, it was a sub-par batch and Lori wasn't the biggest fan of coffee to begin with. Cocoa was her drink of choice when she wanted to unwind after a long mission. Sweet, delicious, chocolatey cocoa, but she couldn't have cocoa on the job because her PR team would throw a fit. It wasn't even about getting fat, her altered physiology burnt calories ridiculously fast, they were just worried that she'd set a bad example to the kids.
"Coffee's not exactly great for them either!" Lori had complained.
"It's not." A marketing executive admitted. "But we're hoping to work out a brand deal with Bean Bux, so stick to coffee."
"You got a new outfit." Lori observed as she took her seat, letting out a small moan of delight as she sank into the plush cushions that contorted themselves to her body. That one was real. Whitney could be a bit of a ditz, but she knew how to pick a chair.
"Do you love it?" Whitney asked, doing a little twirl. Whitney went through more costume revisions than any other meta Lori knew, despite the fact that she hadn't done field work on a regular basis in quite some time now. Today it was a purple jumpsuit with white gloves, boots, and an admittedly spiffy scarf, which really tied the whole thing together. It reminded her of something, rekindled something in Lori's brain, vague memories of a pre-meta world, when she'd watch a show about a team of super heroines who dressed very similarly. It wasn't very good, from her recollection. The writing was cliche, the episodes were incredibly formulaic, and the special effects used for the fight scenes, where the girls would grow giant sized and fight other scantily clad girls were terrible. But...he loved that show, for whatever reason, and when he'd ask her to watch with him, Lori was always happy to oblige.
Lori's response was a noise that honestly could have meant anything, but Whitney seemed to take it as a compliment. As her friend got herself situated, Lori took another sip from her mug and grimaced, frowning at the pitch black liquid. She needed sugar, and not the faux artificial sweetener they kept on the Tower, the real stuff. She'd gut it out for now, but the second she was back planet side she'd make a quick detour to her secret stash and pick out a few choice goodies. Something that would make her teeth hurt. Lord knew she deserved it.
"So fill me in on what I've missed." Said Lori, making herself comfortable.
"Right." Whitney nodded as she turned her attention to a nearby terminal. "Just let me bring up your reports." The girl's fingers flew over the attached keyboard with practiced ease, and with her keen eyesight, Lori was even able to catch a few glimpses of the keys that would press themselves. Whitney had to be the only person in the history of super heroes, real or fictional, who'd thought to use her telekinetic abilities to make herself a better typist. But damned if it didn't work, the girl's WPM score was off the charts.
"Got them!" Whitney sang, delivering one last, decisive keystroke. "Now let me see..."
Lori allowed herself to sink a little deeper into her chair. She suspected she was going to need the added comfort.
"Your new line of dolls are being delayed. Turns out that light up action gimmick they tried to work in has a small chance of causing the doll to explode."
"Was it really that hard to stick in a light bulb and some batteries?"
Whitney shrugged. "Apparently miniature fission reactors are cheaper. But they're pretty confident they can get the chance of failure down to a single digit by the end of the month."
"I'm going to need to have a talk with those idiots about what's okay to put my face on." Lori grumbled, massaging her temples. "Alright, what's next?"
"You're set to appear on the Really Late Yet Still Surprisingly Early Show alongside Hourlass next week—"
"Cancel it." Came Lori's immediate reply. That show was a chore to do appearances for. To say nothing of her fellow guest...
"Can't." Whitney said, gesturing helplessly. "You've retroactively agreed. You should be remembering any second now."
She did. Now.
"It's really difficult to be friends with someone who plays around with the time stream for fun." Lori grumbled, taking another swig of her terrible coffee.
"Funny, Carol said the same thing. Only about people who like to throw her into the sun for kicks."
"It was one time!" Lori protested. "And I only did it because I knew she'd undo it!"
Whitney blinked in confusion. "Then...how are we talking about it?"
Lori held up one hand to forestall any further questions. "Just, just stop there. Trust me, it doesn't do you any good to dwell on how her powers actually work." She took a quick breath and exhaled, trying to calm herself down. "Look, how many more of these are about my career?"
Whitney squinted at the screen. "A lot. I think I'd need to send this to the Super Science division if you want an exact number."
"No...no need for that." Lori waved her hand dismissively. "Look, what's going on with the planet? Tell me about the important stuff."
"Well..." Whitney pursed her lips, concentrating. "That one company is still trying to get ahold of you. The one that wants to do a TV series based on your life—"
"Whitney!"
"Alright, alright, geeze." The other girl rolled her eyes. "I'll try filtering by the keyword 'crisis', that sound better?"
It did. "Proceed."
Whitney punched in the command. "I have...five results now."
That sounded like something she could deal with.
"And..." Whitney winced. "All of them involve your sister."
Lori felt an annoyed twitch coming on. "Please tell me you mean Lucy." She pleaded.
"'Fraid not, Umbra's still doing her stint in the Dark Dimension. I'm talking about Lynn."
"Of course you are."Lori let out a frustrated sigh, then took another sip of her coffee. "What's going on with her? I remember hearing she'd gotten wrapped up in something, but I was heading off planet so I couldn't get any details. Something about a bri—"
"Ixnay on the b-word." Whitney smoothly cut in. "We still haven't been given the all clear from Legal. Until then, we refuse to admit or deny that they actually exist, or ever have existed. In this dimension or any other."
"Figures." Lori muttered. "Fine. What's the fallout then?"
"Not...actually all that much, surprisingly." Whitney replied, as she perused her screen. "People love Furiosa. Oh! Speaking of which, you've got to watch Hearts of Fury! It's so goo—"
"Whitney!"
"Right, right." The other girl held her hands up apologetically. "Anyway, like I was saying, she's really popular so the higher ups aren't too keen to bring the hammer down on her. Looks like she got a light suspension and an emphatic suggestion to stay home for a while."
"Well, that's good to hear." Lori smirked. "Lynn's gotta hate being stuck at home, she's probably going nuts. Serves her right."
"Actually, according to this she's been staying somewhere else."
Lori stopped herself mid-sip. "Say what?"
Whitney shrugged. "She's alive if that's what you're worried about—"
"It's not." Lori deadpanned. "If her diet hasn't killed her by this point, nothing will."
"Her vitals seem fine, least as far as the HeroMed network can tell. She's just been transmitting from another location since the incident, that's all."
"Where. Is. She." Lori growled, tightening her grip on her coffee mug. Something about this didn't add up, and it was really agitating her. Lynn's social circle was basically nonexistent. Sure, she'd have her meathead pals over to watch the SportsBall playoffs or something, but they didn't exactly meet up for tea and chitchat. If this was true, she'd been holed up somewhere else for days. She wouldn't have been surprised if the real reason Lucy was off gallivanting about in a dimension filled with terrors beyond human comprehension was so that she couldn't be tapped for this exact thing! Who, on this planet or any other, could possibly stand to be around Lynn Loud for that long of a time?!
"Hey." Her subconscious pipped up. "Remember that time Lynn and Lucy got into a big fight? So Lynn ended up bunking with—"
"Not now." Lori hissed to herself.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing." She shook her head, trying to focus. "Where has she been?"
"Hold your horses, I've got the GPS coordinates and I'm running them through the system. Should have her exact location in a few seconds." Whitney gave Lori a sidelong glance. "I don't know what you're getting so worked up about. She's getting paid to bum around at home for a while, I wouldn't be surprised if she decided to shack up with her boyfriend or something. You know, get some...quality time in." Seemingly fearful that Lori wouldn't pick up on the subtlety, Whitney threw in a wink. Then another.
"Lynn doesn't have a boyfriend." Lori scoffed. "She's never had a boyfriend."
"You really need to watch that show."
"Whitney!"
"Ding!" Her friend announced cheerfully. "Turkey's done. System says she's been transmitting from..." Whitney's expression fell slightly, her features suddenly marred by puzzlement. "Wait, let me double check this."
"Where, Whitney." Lori urged, as her heart began to beat more rapidly.
"Guess I was right the first time. Looks like she's been transmitting from...Site Lambda."
Lori's mug shattered in her hand, the pieces not lucky enough to be sent flying quickly pulverized as her inhumanly strong fist involuntarily clenched tightly.
"What?" Lori growled, her body beginning to tremble as tiny sparks began breaking out across her body in rapid succession.
"Site Lambda. You know, that apartment building you keep under observation? You spend a ridiculous amount of your personal finances to make sure an emergency team is prepped and ready to go at all times, just in case we get a distress call from that building. How could you possibly forget what that is?"
"It wasn't a question, it was an exclamation of disbelief!" Lori snapped, leaping to her feet. She spun around and immediately began stalking towards the door, a torrent of swirling energy springing to life around her, sending small objects and loose paperwork flying everywhere.
"Lori wait! Where are you going!?"
"She broke the agreement!" Lori snapped, not bothering to look back. "I need to get down there. Now."
"Give me a few minutes and I can—" Lori didn't hear the rest, she was already hurrying down the hallway, her feet barely touching the ground as her energy aura began shining brighter and brighter.
"Shoot!" Whitney exclaimed, slapping her desk in frustration. She fumbled for her intercom and jammed the button as fast as she could, every passing second feeling like an eternity until finally someone answered.
"Calm the heck down! This is Airlock C, what's going—"
"This is Data Center. No time for chit-chat! Get the airlock clear, now!"
"Are you kidding me? We're in the middle of unloading—"
"If its anything explosive, get it the hell out of there right now! Anything else, well..." She winced. "We'll just have to take our chances I guess. Luminary's on her way, and she's going out hot."