AN: In the midst of my own, not very heroic stupor, I forgot to write up my authors notes. New chapter. There, I think we're done.
Guest: Not an m-rated story, not going to be an m-rated story. I already covered this in a previous chapter. I don't mind outsourcing that kind of thing of other, enterprising writers feel like doing lewd stuff with the stuff I've set up, but I don't write that kind of thing myself.
Paperman0: Well, as a Luna fan, I hope this chapter doesn't put you off too badly. But yeah, this chapter will probably answer some of those questions you have.
TigerJacob: I am deeply ashamed that Sampire has somehow never occurred to me. If I ever end up doing anything with that, know that it's because you brought it to my attention, and you have my thanks.
Superheroes were bullshit.
It was a well-worn mantra of Luna's that resounded in her head as she rounded a corner and dug in her heels, giving Sam a chance to catch up. Stability wasn't a thing they could afford, not with their lifestyle. Luna's...talents, made her very desirable in certain circles, so work was never hard to find. Lucrative work, on the other hand, the kind that paid well and kept the possibility of ending up flat on the ground with a set of power nullifying cuffs on your wrists to an acceptable statistical low, that could be a lot harder to come by. When funds were abundant, it meant she and Sam got to stay in a posh hotel, or an upscale apartment if there wasn't any particular urgency to move on from wherever they happened to find themselves. When their cash flow wasn't so good, it meant they had to settle for significantly lower quality accommodations, often living out of whatever vehicle they'd been able to discretely acquire, or in more extreme cases, camping out in the woods. And sometimes, when circumstances dictated that you minimize the chance of being spotted by a nosy sister doing a flyby as much as humanly possible, you settled for whatever you could get. In this case, that meant a rinky-dink motel located at the ass-end of an alleyway so dark and foreboding, that taking one step inside was essentially consenting to get mugged. Or worse. Hence, why in spite of how badly she wanted to throw herself down on what was currently passing for their bed, and sleep forever, she was instead giving Sam as much time as she needed to stow their car a safe distance away and catch up to her. It was just safer that way. Thankfully, it wasn't long before she caught sight of a familiar head of cyan-streaked, blonde hair poking out of the crowd. And, in spite of the weariness that ravaged her body, Luna still found herself smiling as her partner in many things finally came into view.
"Hope I didn't keep you waiting, Luv," Said Sam, jogging up to Luna and giving her an affectionate peck on the cheek.
"It's cool," Luna replied, wrapping one arm around her girlfriend and pulling her close. Then, after a careful scan of their surroundings, Luna led the pair into the alley.
It wasn't just superheroes, that were the problem, mind you. Villains were just as bad in their own way. Really, as far as she was concerned, it was the entire premise, the entire paradigm that was the problem. But that was significantly harder to articulate in a succinct way, so compromises were made in order to get her point across as concisely as possible. This wasn't a new sentiment for her by any means, though her feelings towards the very concept of superheroes and supervillains had been exacerbated, rather dramatically, once they'd stopped being fictional jerks in spandex fighting overly dramatized battles for consumption by the masses, and started being very real jerks in spandex. Still puffing out their chests and making a spectacle of themselves for the sake of adulation and cold hard cash, but now with very real consequences attached. And those consequences didn't always stop at property damage. It was frustrating enough, that Luna often found herself missing the days when the world was a lot less fantastical. When normalcy had been the norm.
In her youth, superheroes had always been a major facet of pop culture, much to Luna's eternal ambivalence. She had engaged with the subject because that was what society had expected of her. She'd always watched the latest special effects fest pumped out by Hollywood because no matter how many Revengers and Egalitarianism Squad movies they made, there were always enough members of her family raring to see them on opening night that refusing to go along would be blatantly intruding on Lucy's role as the Loud Family's resident depressant. And as much as Luna hated those films, she just couldn't take that away from her spooky little sister.
So Luna watched the movies, she pretended to be enthralled by the latest gossip surrounding whatever hardbody or starlet was heading the newest franchise venture, and when the social contract obligated her to do so, she'd reluctantly catch up and/or follow along with whatever tie-in tv show was cranked out to keep audiences invested in between movie releases. It was a cycle seemingly without end, and the only bright spot amid the drudgery was the unexpected, but not at all unwelcomed point of connection it provided between her, and her little brother...
"YEAH!"
"WOO HOO!"
A chorus of cheers from both sides of her caused Luna to jolt back into wakefulness. Given how far she'd slid down the couch, and the thin line of drool trailing down her chin (which she hurriedly wiped away), she could only conclude that she'd fallen asleep. Again. She quickly glanced around, taking stock of her situation. To her left sat Sam, and to her right, Lincoln, and it only took one look at their enraptured faces to satisfy any concerns she might have had of offending the pair with her impromptu nap. Thus assured that neither of them had noticed her little faux pas, she covertly pushed herself back into a proper sitting position, then turned her attention back towards the television, just in time to see the characters on screen engulfed by a cacophonous, seizure-inducing explosion. Well, so much for getting caught up.
Luna watched in bemusement as her girlfriend, and her little brother, as if of one mind, each leaned across her and high-fived each other, before immediately devolving into nigh-inarticulate gibbering as they gushed to each other, presumably about whatever it was they had just seen. Had it been anyone else, Luna would have been profoundly annoyed by the display, as had been proven on multiple occasions when Lincoln had invited his friends over, who Luna found to be just as geeky as her little bro, but with none of his charm. When it came to Sam and Lincoln, however, there was just something so...genuine, about their enthusiasm, that Luna couldn't help but feel endeared by it.
Having her little brother along for what was ostensibly date night with her girlfriend was the kind of thing that should probably seem weird, but it had become a regular, even welcomed occurrence for the girls. Dates, real dates, were expensive, not the kind of thing two high schoolers could afford to indulge in on a regular basis. Especially not when staying at home meant access to a full fridge and more tv than one person could reasonably watch in a lifetime. Staying in more often than not just made sense as a matter of practicality. You do that often enough and things just, happen. Maybe you find out your girlfriend's secret shame is that she's addicted to superhero dramas, and you pretend you're cool with that, because what kind of jerk breaks up with someone because they really like watching costumed weirdoes whine about their childhoods in between spectacular explosions? But then you sit through so many of those shows that you become desperate for anything to serve as some kind of buffer between said girlfriend, who's basically perfect in literally every other respect, and you, who is slowly being driven insane by the need to constantly appear to be interested in this thing that's clearly important to her, and utterly failing! So much, that one day out of the blue, you grab your hapless brother while he's passing by, and force him to sit down and add a much-needed third voice to the conversation! And...then the two of them end up getting along...really, really well. And before you know it, your duo becomes a trio and now this is just a regular part of your whole...sitting down on a Friday night and watching television...thing. And try as you might, you're incapable of remembering how things could have ever functioned any other way.
You know. Normal, teenage...stuff.
"Luna!"
The in-unison shouting of her name was enough to jolt Luna back into awareness, just in time to see both Sam and Lincoln looking at her expectantly.
"Well, Lunes," Sam said as she rolled her eyes at the younger boy. "What do you think?"
The smart thing to do would have been to just cop to the fact that she hadn't been paying attention to whatever was going on, but Luna had an ace in the hole, as it were, just for situations like this.
"Ace Savvy," She replied, trying to keep her voice level. She breathed a little more easily as her response was met with a loud cheer from Lincoln, and a groan of disappointment from Sam. It was a pattern she'd noticed early on. No matter what question they asked her when they got into one of their nerd fights, Ace Savvy always seemed to be an acceptable answer, if not an optimal one.
"You can't possibly believe that," Sam grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring daggers at the now preening younger boy. Luna would have been a lot more worried if the blonde wasn't visibly corpsing, the edges of her lips twitching manically as she desperately tried to maintain her serious facade.
"I just call 'em as I see 'em," Luna replied, leaning over and touseling Lincoln's hair for good measure. He blushed at the show of affection, which was honestly half the appeal for her, but in spite of that, he didn't shy away from her.
"That's right!" Lincoln said, smiling confidently. "Because Ace is a hero, and heroes always save the day!"
"Morning, ladies."
A gruff, grizzled voice drew Luna out of the past, and back into the present. There, a little way down the alley, almost expectantly, stood a shabbily dressed man. Ratty overcoat opened just enough to reveal the threadbare clothes underneath, and a dirty, mangled baseball cap, pulled low to obscure his features as much as possible. Somewhere, there was an encyclopedia entry for "People You Meet When You Make Bad Choices", and this guy's picture was there front and center. It was possible, that the friendly greeting was just that. At least, it would have been, had it not been for the telltale glint of something sharp and nasty visible within the folds of his sleeve.
Luna glanced backward as discretely as her peripheral vision would allow. The standard tactic for this kind of thing was to have a partner or two creeping up from behind, cutting off the victim's escape, but as far as she could tell, nothing of the sort had occurred. They were a good ways into the alley at this point, but had they chosen to turn and flee, it wasn't impossible for them to escape in a dead sprint, get out back onto the relative safety of the crowded street. Which of course, begged the obvious question, why? Was this guy just a rank amateur, or just the kind of creep who enjoyed giving his victims a glimmer of hope before he snuffed it out? Was he a meta? Did he have some method of cutting off their escape, or was he just supremely confident in his own abilities? There were simply too many variables in play, so Luna opted for the simple solution.
With a snarl that was borne equal parts from frustration and exhaustion, Luna let go of Sam and began to stalk forward.
"Luna!" Called the blonde, hesitantly, but Luna simply waved her off, focusing entirely on the problem before her.
This, here, was the problem. The Problem, capital P, with this whole, stupid system. Royal Woods had one of the densest meta populations in the entire country. While they were, statistically speaking, the minority, in practical terms, they were basically everywhere. You couldn't throw a brick in this city without accidentally contributing to some kind of super-powered fracas currently in progress, and for all their presence, for all their power, this exact same scene played out a thousand times a day, in a thousand different places, with a thousand different victims. Each with the same question on their lips. Why? Why was it that in a city full of people who could casually break the sound barrier, move mountains, and control the freaking weather, did countless instances just like this, slip through the cracks?
Because superheroes, were bullshit.
Three more steps, and Luna broke into a sprint, digging in her heels as she reached the man, and slid inside his guard, raising her hand behind her as she did so. It was more work than she normally put into this maneuver. Being the pretty, young thing that she was, most assailants didn't even bother to put up a fight, seeing her actions as the last, desperate act of their soon-to-be victim. It was beyond stupid, but even with the amazing advances that had been made by the emergence of Super-Science, stupid was one of the few things they'd never been able to cure. At this point, however, she wasn't willing to take unnecessary chances. Luna was tired, and she was angry, and if this guy had some kind of defensive gimmick up his sleeve, she didn't want to give him the chance to use it.
Now in position, Luna swung her arm forward, an opened palm slap aimed right at the man's face. He didn't budge, probably intended to take it on the chin, allow Luna to become demoralized by her own helplessness. He didn't know who he was messing with.
Luna's ears perked up as her hand closed in on her target, waiting for the right moment. Finally, she struck, her slap landing with all the strength of a slender, twenty-something-year-old woman. It wasn't particularly impressive, but it also wasn't what she was waiting for. It wasn't the force that mattered, it was the sound she needed. And there, at the point of impact, she found it. The tiny, almost inaudible noise, of skin slapping against skin. Pssht.
Luna could see it happening, a tiny ripple of noise as hand met face. Under normal circumstances, that's all it would have been, a brief break in the silence, and then nothingness. But Luna wasn't normal by any stretch of the imagination. She latched onto that tiny ripple, and as she did, she envisioned a dial, just like the one on her old Sterrett amp. And with every ounce of willpower she could muster, she cranked that baby all the way up.
VROOOMM
The ground shook as a thunderous vibrato erupted from her palm, sending the man flying, as if shot by a canon—
CRUNCH
—directly into the hard, merciless brick lining of the alleyway. For an instant, he remained in place, as if frozen, but as it did with all things, time eventually caught up, and he slid to the ground with a resounding thump. Luna started dusting her hands off, and immediately regretted doing so, only now noticing the thin, slimy residue that now coated her slapping hand. Clearly, being a menacing, alleyway assailant did not allow much time for bathing.
"Tell me you didn't kill him," Sam grumbled as she walked up beside Luna.
It hadn't exactly been a priority of hers in the heat of the moment, but...
"He'll live," Luna replied, noting the telltale rising and falling of her would-be mugger's chest. Then she noticed the unnatural angle his legs were twisted at. "But he probably won't be very happy about it."
"Beautiful," Sam muttered, shaking her head in annoyance. "Barely been in town one full night, and this is what happens. Think we should call someone?"
"Nah." Once again, Luna slipped her arm around Sam, and gently guided her away from the almost-crime scene, and towards their motel. "We don't want to draw attention to ourselves if we can help it. Besides..."
She spared the crumpled heap of mugger one last glance, and shook her head in disgust.
"Heroes are the ones who are supposed to save people."