"Daryl and Carol are missing."

The words were enough to knock me off my feet; everyone fell silent when they realised what Rick had said. I looked around frantically, hoping to see that maybe they were just hidden in a corner somewhere, but Daryl and Carol were missing.

"What—?" My voice cracked. "When was the last time anyone's seen them?"

Isaac cleared his throat. "I spoke to him a little while ago, ten, twenty minutes."

"I haven't seen Sasha or Bob in a while," Glenn said and moved to one of the windows at the front of the church. "Maybe they're together."

"I think Bob went outside," guessed Isaac from the corner. "Sasha had a gun not too long ago."

Maggie gave a nod beside him. "They could just be going for a walk."

Glenn mumbled back that there was no movement from outside, before turning back to the group. I was standing now, hoping that anyone had some news on when they'd last seen Daryl or Carol, but the number of missing people was stacking up and I didn't know what to be worried about.

"Quite the time to clear one's head," Abraham mumbled.

"I'll head out and look for them," Rick said.

"I'm coming," I grabbed my brown flannel coat and stood up. Isaac stood as I said it, but he couldn't try to stop me. I could see in his eyes he thought about tagging along, but he kept quiet. I slipped my arm into the sleeve and grabbed my axe from the ground as Rick walked past. "I think people heading out alone is one of the things that keeps getting us into this mess."

Rick gave a nod. "Okay, stick close."

"I'll go with you guys," Tyreese said. "Back you up."

Rick glanced my way, but I just stared straight back at him. Maybe Rick had his concerns about Tyreese after the incident at the prison, but I had been run with him since then and he was fine. He seemed a little off recently, but if Sasha was out there I don't think anyone here could keep Jim inside.

"If you're up for it," Rick agreed cautiously.

"I am."

"Okay," he gave a singular nod. "Everyone here, keep an eye out. We don't know what's happening yet."

We were out the doors before anyone had a chance to stop me, but weirdly, I don't think anyone intended to try to stop me. I didn't miss the look I received from Glenn when I offered to run out into the dark, but hey, he kept his concerns to himself. Now, seeing the world so dark, I wished he would've stopped me.

No one was in the immediate vicinity, nowhere to be seen in front of the church. Rick nodded for us to follow him and led us over to the tree line. The trees grew taller, looming over me as we abandoned the clearing. The last time I had been in the woods at night was when Isaac ran away from the prison, but the fear was creeping up more and more with this search.

Every rustle from the wind kept me on edge, every sound—real or fictional—kept me on my toes. Why had they left the church? Were they drawn out? My eyes went to the ground, telling myself to do what Daryl would do and keep an eye out for anything that could lead us to them.

I blew warmth into my hands and rubbed them together, hoping to bring back some of the feeling. The cold air nipped at my nose, and it stung every time I breathed in and out. It brought tears to my eyes, which almost made me miss the dishevelled dirt at my feet.

"Tracks," I whispered—part of me wished I hadn't. They were human tracks, sure, but footprints contained the subcategory of walkers, and no matter how many times Daryl tried to show me, I could never tell the difference between the dead and alive.

"Whose?" Tyreese asked.

"Random humanoid."

Rick moved through the gap between us, his hand on my shoulder to steady himself on the uneven terrain brought about by roots that stuck up from the ground. "We can follow them this way, hopefully, it's one of ours."

"And if it's someone else?" Asked Tyreese nervously.

"Pray it's a walker," I said, not meaning to sound so morbid.

Tyreese mumbled something as he followed us, and I immediately heard the difference between his steps compared to me and Rick. The two of us didn't make a sound, hadn't made a sound, but every so often Tyreese would kick the leaves on the ground. I cringed every time, eyes darting around for walkers before I realised it was him.

Rick stopped at a log that had fallen on the ground before taking a big step over. "Watch your step," he said quietly, reaching a hand back.

I nodded, grabbing his hand as I stepped over.

Tyreese made his way over and walked ahead of us, and I kept my hand in Rick's to warm my fingers up. When Rick let go to tap his gun at his side, I shoved both of them in my pockets, wrapping them as far around my body as my coat would allow.

A gasp came from the trees that made my heart race. My head whipped around when I heard the suppressed shot before I saw them. Sasha had taken down one of the walkers and slammed the back of her gun into the second one.

Crack! Crack! Crack—

Tyreese covered her mouth to stop the scream as we approached. She'd just been attacked, so us making a sound could've gotten us shot. Sasha jumped, as she would have if we'd spoken to her normally, but this way her voice was muffled for a second.

"It's me. It's me." He let her go.

"Tyreese," she breathed out. "He's getting away."

"Who?"

"Somebody was watching us."

This was getting to be too much. Daryl had seen someone watching us last night, but despite Gabriel's denials, I still believed that maybe it was him. He was harmless enough and maybe he was watching us in hopes that we'd give him food. But now? There were more people out here—why were people always out here?

"If we go in there now, some of us aren't coming back."

"Bob is out there somewhere. Scared, alone," she said.

"Maybe not alone," Rick said, pointing the torch around with his gun raised. "Daryl and Carol are missing, too."

My heart sank when I remembered that we were still missing the others. The need to run off and scream their names was taking over, and I felt like I was going to fall off the face of the earth if we lost anyone else. But I couldn't let us lose anyone else, and I was going to do everything in my power to keep us together.

We all agreed to go back, after some convincing for Sasha. She wanted nothing more than to find Bob, and I wanted to do that with her, but we didn't have the resources to find them at night. All we could do was become sitting ducks and bolster in the church, hoping that the others would just find their way back.

Sasha burst through the doors into the silent room, and Rick closed them behind us as we came inside. He nodded for me to follow her as she walked down the aisle, maybe to stop her in case she killed him. It wouldn't have mattered, because if he was involved in any of the disappearances, I could kill him myself.

Gabriel turned.

"Stop." Her voice was more even when she asked, "What are you doing?"

Gabriel did not attempt to answer, and he took a step towards her.

"What are you doing?" She repeated. "This is all connected. you show up, we're being watched, and now three of us are gone."

"I . . . I don't—" Gabriel stammered. "I don't have anything to do with this. "

That didn't matter to her, because Sasha pulled out her knife. I looked back at Rick, but he just walked towards us. I gave him a nod and stepped closer to Sasha, either ready to take over or grab her depending on the plan.

"Wait—!" Gabriel jumped back.

"Don't!" Rosita yelled, rushing forward, but Abraham grabbed her arms from behind and pulled her back.

"Sasha, put it away!" Tyreese said.

"Who's out there?" She ignored them.

"I-I don't have anything . . . to do with this," he said.

She stepped closer to him. "Where are our people?"

"I don't have anything to—"

"Where are our people?!" She screamed.

"Please, I don't have anything to do with this. I—"

Rick grabbed her arm, gently leading her back so that she was standing with Tyreese. I kept Gabriel trapped where he was though, cutting off his escape to the office as I stood side-on with him. Rick took Sasha's place in front of him.

"Why'd you bring us here?" Rick asked.

Gabriel shook his head. "Please, I—"

"You working with someone?" He pushed.

"I'm alone." He repeated, "I'm alone. I was always alone."

"What about the woman in the food bank, Gabriel?" Rick asked. I looked to Isaac for an explanation but nothing came. "What did you do to her? You'll burn for this. That was for you. Why? What are you gonna burn for, Gabriel? What?" Rick lunged forward and grabbed him by the shirt before pushing him back against the fence around the altar. "What did you do? What did you do?!"

Gabriel was panicking, enough that I knew he was going to crack. I gestured back with my head for Rick to let go of him, and he lowered his arms and remained standing right in front of him to throw him off.

"I lock the doors at night," he said and quietly repeated to himself. "I always lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always—" he shook his head, tears welling in his eyes as he breathed in. "They started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before and they were scared. They were—they were looking for a safe place, a place where they felt safe. And it was so early. It was so early. And the doors were still locked."

I frowned, shaking my head as I met eyes with Rick. No part of me could even begin to understand what he was talking about, having not seen the reference to the you'll burn for this or his reaction to the walker in the food bank. Isaac mentioned it in reference, but I wondered if he was admitting to this or just reliving something that he thought happened.

"You see . . . it was my choice. There were so many of them and they were trying to pry the shutters and banging on the sidings and screaming at me. And so the dead came for them," he looked at me before he continued, "Women, children," then Carl. "Entire families calling my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy," he started crying as he interlocked his hands and placed them under his chin., "begging me for mercy. Damning me to hell. I buried their bones. I buried it all."

He chose to lock them outside. I felt sick to my stomach.

"The Lord sent you here to finally punish me," he dropped down to a squat and leaned back on the fence. "I'm damned. I was damned before. I always lock the doors. I always lock the doors."

Then he fell back until he was sitting, his head against one of the spacers as he sobbed to himself. There was a metallic sound as Sasha sheathed her knife behind me, and I stepped away from him, shaking my head. There was no way Gabriel had anything to do with the disappearances; he was so guilty about something that happened at the fall that he would've given it away by now if he knew where our people were.

A noise came from outside, and Glenn rushed to the window. "There's something—" he called. "There's someone outside lying in the grass."

Sasha ran for the door. "Sasha."

He couldn't grab her in time before she sprinted towards the doors. "Oh! Bob!," she cried, kneeling on the ground by him. "Bob."

Walkers were coming for him, and I thanked God that we heard him outside. I pulled out my knife and stepped down onto the grass. Someone close behind made me glance back over my shoulder; Isaac gave a nod and walked around me, his knife in his hand.

"His leg," Sasha said.

I only now saw what she was talking about, where his foot was missing and the bottom of his leg was bandaged up.

"Get Bob inside," Glenn said. "We'll take care of them."

That signalled to me that we had to protect them, and I ran around the side of the church to get several walkers that were now surrounding us. It was enough to take out in a group, but we had to be careful as everyone with a weapon split off to kill their walker.

I killed the first one, hearing a grunt beside me as Isaac got the second, before muttering to himself. "I hate these things."

Tara and some of the others moved to help Bob.

I placed a hand on Isaac's back as I rushed over to help Rick. As he went to take out the walker in front of him, it dropped dead before he could even get a chance to strike it with his weapon. Isaac grabbed my arm and pulled me low to the ground when Rick switched to his revolver and started shooting randomly into the dark.

"Get inside! Go!" Rick yelled.

Isaac grabbed my hand to drag me inside, but as I faced the church, I noticed something that couldn't be ignored. Isaac yanked my hand again, but I pulled back harder when he realised what I was showing him.

"Rick!" I called, and he rushed back to us.

There, painted on the side of the church.

The letter A.

"It's them."

"I was in the graveyard," Bob said. "Somebody knocked me out. I woke up outside this place. It looked like a school. It was that guy, Gareth. And five other ones. They were eating my leg right in front of me. Like it was nothing. All proud like they had it all figured out."

"Did they have Daryl and Carol?" Rick asked.

"Gareth said they drove off," he answered.

Drove off? Drove off where? It was bad enough to consider whether this could have been a lie from Gareth, but they had no reason to lie to Bob when they had him captive in their territory. I didn't even understand why they'd bring him back

Bob hissed and groaned, leaning onto one arm.

"He's in pain, do we have anything?" Sasha asked.

"I think there are pill packets in the first aid kit," Rosita said.

"Yeah," Sasha nodded.

"Save 'em," Bob stopped her.

"No."

"Really," he was adamant this time. They all stopped, and Bob took a second to sit up before pulling down the neckline of his shirt, wincing as he did so. He revealed a bite on his shoulder and looked at Sasha. "It happened at the food bank. It's okay."

Everyone was silent, and there was only one thought in my mind. I was going to kill them. Nothing was going to stop me from killing the people from Terminus. I could see the look in Rick's eyes that he knew too.

Bob fell back so he was laying on the ground, and Tara reached forward to catch his head before he hit the ground too hard.

"Bob?" Sasha asked.

"There's a sofa in my office," Gabriel said. "I know it's not much, but . . ."

"Thank you," she whispered.

Tyreese stood up. "I got him."

Everyone moved to stand out of his way as Tyreese went to pick Bob up and move him into the office. I breathed out, turning away. I could still feel the eyes on me, Isaac who was sitting on the pew at my side was looking at me. I couldn't meet his eyes; I didn't want him to know that I was going to do this. My look would give it away.

Maybe he already knew.

Rick moved to talk to Gabriel. "Do you know the place Bob was talking about? It's an elementary school."

"It's close," Gabriel said.

"How close?" He asked again when Gabriel was hesitant to answer., "How close, Gabriel?"

"It's just a 10-minute walk through the woods from here, due south of the graveyard.

Judith started crying, so Carl stood up and walked her away from the group, taking the basket in his arms and shushing her to keep her quiet. I smiled at him as he started playing with her to keep her quiet, and she was soon happy enough.

"Does he have a fever?" Rick asked.

Maggie shook her head. "He's just warm."

"Jim lasted almost two days before we left him," Glenn said. "We had to wait a day and he was still there when we left."

It slipped my mind that Jim was the last person who had been alive long enough for us to see what happened after a bite. We waited an entire day to see if Hershel was alive. We never even got the chance to wonder if his cut-off leg spread the infection before Rick could cut it off. Everyone else either died and turned or just died.

"Time for a reality check," Abraham said from across the room. "We all need to leave for DC, right now."

Rosita crossed the room to join Abraham as Rick answered, "Daryl and Carol are gonna be back. We're not going anywhere without them."

"I respect that, but there's a clear threat here to Eugene. I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier. So if y'all won't come, good luck to you. We'll go our separate ways," Abraham turned for the door and walked away.

"You leaving on foot?" Rick called after him.

Abraham stopped, sighed, and turned back around. "We're taking the bus."

I opened my mouth to argue, but Rick placed a hand on my shoulder to stop me. "Ace fixed that bus."

"And I thank her for it," Abraham nodded my way. "Coulda fixed the damn thing ourselves anyway."

"But you didn't," Rick reminded him.

Abraham scoffed as he tried to keep his cool. Rick glanced at me, shuffled on his feet, but eventually shook his head, also getting frustrated with this conversation. I gave him a nod to show that I was on his side.

"There are a lot more of us," he said, walking over to him.

I followed.

"You want to keep it that way?" Abraham asked. "You should come."

"Carol saved your life." He pointed between me and himself. "We saved your life."

"Well, I am trying to save yours!" Abraham yelled. "Save everyone's!"

I blew out a sharp breath through my nose, trying to keep a level head. "We're not going anywhere without our people."

"Your people took off."

"They're coming back," Rick said in a low voice.

"To what?!" He snapped. "Picked-over bones?!"

Rick reached out to grab him. "You're not taking—!"

"Do not lay hands!" Abraham yelled, shoving his arm away.

Rosita stepped in. "Abraham!"

I almost flinched when he yelled something again and took a step away from Rick. If they were going to get into a fistfight here, I would be no help. I typically fell on my ass in the middle of fist fights and I didn't see how this one would end differently against Abraham.

Glenn came around me and stepped between them. "Hey! Hey! Stop! Now!" He was looking at Rick as he yelled and then turned back around to Abraham. "Do you really think that you're gonna be any safer leaving right now in the middle of the night?"

"Yeah," Abraham nodded. "Yeah."

Glenn sighed, shaking his head before he asked, "What about tomorrow? We need each other for this. We need each other to get to DC. We can get through all of it together."

Tara came between them, "I have an idea. If you stay just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC no matter what," she looked at Rick. "Okay?"

"If we get this dealt with, I'll go with her," Martinez stepped in, and I remembered the deal they had where Tara said she would join Martinez. This kept him away from the people that didn't trust him and he got to stay with someone he trusted. None of those reasons stopped the glare I was sending him.

"Glenn and Maggie, too."

"No," Rick said.

"Good luck, then. I'm not interested in breaking up what you have here," Abraham said. "Rosita, grab your gear."

"Abraham—"

"Now," he interrupted her. "Eugene, let's go." No response. "Eugene, move it."

"I don't want to," Eugene said from his seat.

"Now," Abraham growled.

Eugene stood up like a child that had been told off. "Okay."

"You're not taking the bus," Rick said.

Abraham stopped across the room but didn't look over as he said. "Try to stop me."

Rick met my eyes, and I could see what he was communicating with me. I gave a nod and my hand was on my knife as Rick started walking towards Abraham, reaching for his weapon when Glenn jumped in the way to keep them apart.

"Hey! Wait!" He repeated, and made sure they were two arm lengths away before saying, "You stay—you stay and help us, and we will go with you."

"No!" I yelled.

I turned at a hand on my shoulder and saw Michonne trying to keep me calm or stop me from crying. It wasn't working, because I wanted to scream and cry and punch Abraham over and over again. If he was considering the offer, his plan made no sense and he was ripping my family apart for the sake of it. And Glenn was just letting him.

"It's not your call," Glenn skipped over me though, his eyes landing on Rick as he raised a hand. After that, he turned to Abraham. "You stay, help us."

Abraham was quiet, but calmer now that he was getting his way. I clenched my teeth and stared at Glenn who refused to look me in the eyes as he waited for Abraham to respond. Rick tried meeting my eyes, but I was afraid that I would burst into tears and that was not the strong front he wanted from me right now.

"Half a day," Abraham concluded. "Come high noon, we're taillights. I'm not waiting for the other damn shoe to drop."

"You're so fucking stupid!" I yelled. "Aside from taking a bus you didn't fucking fix, if you're staying to help us, then Eugene is going to be here when they arrive. When we kill them you'll have no threat. Then we can wait for our people!"

He was quiet for a second like he was thinking it over. Instead of considering what I said, he just repeated in a low voice, "High noon."

"And we will leave with you," Maggie said.

"I want to come, too," Isaac stood up.

Everything was falling apart and I thought I was going to scream. Michonne had her other hand on my back and was rubbing her hand up and down my arm as I clenched my teeth, not able to look at anyone right now or I would start crying or yelling. I turned around to walk away when she placed her hands on my shoulder and stopped me to hug me.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered to me, standing at my side but still hugging me.

"12 hours," Abraham said. "Then we go."

My promise to keep everyone together was failing because Abraham was too stupid to see how useless his deal was. It was tearing my family apart, and making me angry at them in the process because they were agreeing and pushing themselves into a dead end. I couldn't argue or kick or scream because there was still a job to do, and I was one of the only people who could get it done.

I followed Rick to the other end of the room as he remained quiet, thinking about what the plan should be.

Isaac stepped my way as I passed, "Ace—"

"Don't," I snapped and walked past.

I leaned back against the fence around the altar on the other side of Rick who settled at the front of the prison. Abraham and Rosita moved around to take one of the pews, and Glenn came to stand at the front with us. Tyreese stayed further away, his back to us, but still listening.

"What's the plan?" Rosita asked.

Rick breathed out through his nose, tilting his head "They're not gonna make the first move," Rick said. "There's too many of us in here. So we're going to have to be the ones to do it."

"If we leave, we leave these people unprotected," Abraham shook his head. "I mean, we need the numbers to stand up to these guys."

"They're out there," I said.

"What?"

"We won't be leaving everyone unprotected for more than a minute or two because we just have to wait for them to show themselves," I told him.

"And they'll show themselves if we make the first move?"

"If we leave and take our guns to kill them then they have nothing to worry about in here."

"They're coming in here?"

"Ace is right," Rick ignored him. "When they see us take our fighters out there, they'll get cocky, they'll come in here for the rest of us. They think they're in control. We're in here and they could be anywhere. But we know exactly where they are."

Abraham nodded from his pew. "Plan's got stones, I'll give you that."

"Make our move before they do," Glenn said.

"That's right," Rick nodded, looking at him. "They're not counting on us thinking straight."

"Are we?" Rosita asked, reviving a look. She held her hands up in defence and said, "I'm just making sure. It's a big play."

Rick took a step forward."Remember what these people are capable of," Rick reminded her.

I remembered vividly what they were capable of; murder, manipulation, cannibalism. These people could lie straight through their teeth and eat people with a smile. They were no better than the dead—no, they were worse than the dead. The people at Terminus knew better. And I was going to kill them for it.

"Tyreese," Rick asked.

Tyreese didn't look over at us when he answered. "Yeah?"

"You up for this?"

Sasha came out of the office before he could answer. "I'm going with you."

"You should stay with Bob," Tyreese said. "No, I want to be out there. I want to be a part of this."

Tyreese stood up and followed Sasha into the office as she walked inside, probably to convince her not to do it. I didn't see how he could, because from what I had seen of Sasha, she was pissed, and that made her determined. It reminded me of how he was when Karen and David were killed, and there was nothing that changed his mind.

"We don't want to shoot for this," Abraham said, making me remember that despite his lack of ideas in the plan, he was trained for things like this. "We don't know how many walkers are in the area."

"I have a silencer," Rick said, "a few more are on the machine guns. If we do it right, we won't have to use any. This is going to be close, personal."

"I can," I cleared my throat, shaking my head, "I can try making a silencer."

"What?" Abraham asked, surprised.

I didn't look at him and turned to Rick. "I saw in my survival guides that the sound from a gun is made because all the air is shot out of the small hole. Silencers work by redirecting the air backwards so that less comes out of the front to make the bang," I explained simply. "I can try and make one from a bottle and some rags. It'll be a one-time use, but if things don't work out the way we want them to then we have one more quiet shot."

"It's a good idea," Rick agreed. "Take a look, see if you can find the stuff to make it. Everyone else who's coming, grab your weapons."

"I will," I said.

I stood up and started making my way to the blue duffel bag where the weapons were stored, wanting to find what I was looking for before the others came to take their weapons. I grabbed some of the fabric and duct tape shoved into the pocket, and then walked to the leftover supplies that Gabriel had been living off of. There were some empty plastic bottles I could use.

Sitting on the ground near the altar, I didn't notice when someone walked over to me. "Talk to me."

I clenched my teeth and grabbed one of the plastic bottles. Sometimes Glenn's concerned looks were easy to pick up, but seeing that look on his face now would only make me angrier because I haven't done anything wrong.

He sat back against the wall next to me. "I know you're pissed."

"I'm working," I said sharply.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Yeah, I know. But you can still listen."

"Listen to why you lied to me?" I questioned, yanking my hand back and shaking it when the fabric pinched my thumb against the rim of the bottle. Pulling the rag back out, I tried putting it back in the bottle in a way that would redirect the air from a gunshot, whatever that meant.

"Lied to you?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're not going to lose anyone, I'm not going anywhere," I said in a low funny voice. "You lied to me."

"You won't lose anyone," Glenn assured me, leaning forward to look into my eyes while I kept focused on my work. "It's just going to be a few days until Daryl and Carol get back. I didn't lie," he went quiet for a few seconds and added hesitantly. "If you're worried about it, then you can come with us," he offered.

I scoffed, finally turning to look at him. "So, that's what this is," I shook my head, a smile of disbelief all over my face. "You want me to go with you. I didn't make this stupid deal, you did."

"Ace—"

"It doesn't make any sense!" I took a breath so I could talk quieter, trying to get some privacy in the singular room that we had. "If he stays to kill them, then we have no threat—"

Glenn nodded, "I know—"

"—then he doesn't have to leave so soon."

"Ace, I know—"

"Clearly, you don't," I snapped. "If you knew how stupid it was then you wouldn't be following him to Washington."

"We need their help," he said.

"No, we don't."

"Ace."

"We've dealt with these things before," I said. "You've let him split us up, after everything that happened. We don't need their help this badly, we don't."

Glenn sighed, his hands coming up over his face. He was raking his mind for ways to convince me, not that he admitted to wanting me to join him. It seemed obvious, but the word never left his mouth.

"Isaac is coming," he said finally.

I shook my head. And the sky is blue. "So?"

"Ace."

"Ace, what?" My mind was racing a million miles an hour about everything: terminus, killing again, losing Glenn, Maggie . . . Isaac. Glenn tried using Isaac as an excuse to make me go with them. Why was that my responsibility? "He wants to run off for a bullshit cure, that's his decision, yours too."

Glenn's jaw set. "It's not bullshit."

"We'll see."

"I want you to come," he finally admitted.

"No."

"Ace—"

"Daryl and Carol are missing. You're dragging half of our manpower away when we could just wait for them to get back. If they need help, then I should be here."

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

I blinked and stared down at the silencer that was now finished. "I wish I could test this," I muttered, to make him change the topic.

"I'll miss you, Ace," he said quietly, his voice breaking. "It's going to kill me not having you around."

"You promised you wouldn't go," I repeated.

Glenn's eyes fell, and he nodded. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Is there anything else?"

"You don't have to do this tonight," Glenn said, taking the bottle from my hand.

"Give it to me," I muttered, holding out my hand. "You said you couldn't be upset with me over this."

"I also said it shouldn't be your job," he reminded me.

"I'm protecting our people, and I know I can do it," I didn't mean for that to be some kind of a dig, but we needed people to come back who they knew would kill them. Gareth should've worked out that I was the one that took his knife, slit his friend's throat. Glenn had never killed before, and I knew that his doing something like that would break him. It should be down to me because I could. "Give it to me."

He wanted to argue more, but he handed me the makeshift silencer. I didn't want to do this, but I knew that I could. That's why it had to be me because if not, it would've been him. If not Glenn, then someone else. It was better if it was me. Glenn sighed, stood up and walked away. He passed Rick on the way, who gave me a nod which I returned.

And I was going to kill them.

Rick made us wait in the shrubs when we saw Gareth and his crew finally emerge from the darkness, their bodies melding together as if they were being imagined. It was like being a kid in the dark when you thought you could see something in the cubby above the curtain rail.

But this time it was real.

When the last person entered the church, Rick nodded for us to follow. He stopped us outside the door so we could find out the locations of each member and strike at the best possible time. I stood just behind the door, gun in my hand and silently prayed that my makeshift silencer was going to work.

"We know who's here," Gareth's voice bounced off the walls. "There's Bob unless you've put him out of his misery already." I clenched my gun, looking at Rick for permission to finish this. He flattened his hand and lowered it to keep me in my place. "And Eugene. Rosita. Martin's good friend Tyreese."

I wondered what he meant by Tyreese, how he even knew about him. Did he and Carol find someone before they saved us? The only one who had any chance of understanding was right behind me, and I looked back to Martinez for answers, but his eyes were steadily fixed on the doors.

"Carl. Judith." It was Rick's turn to contemplate gunning them all down now, his face twitching at the mention of their names. "Rick and the rest walked out with a lot of your guns."

If only you knew. Rosita and some of the others were armed inside, everyone had a weapon, but we took the most threatening ones so Gareth believed that everyone inside was unprepared. Rick told him what was in the bag and a lot of his plan was based on what he remembered him saying.

"Listen, we don't know where you all are, but this isn't a big place. So let's just stop this now before things get more painful than they need to be."

One thing I noticed about Gareth was that he resorted to bargaining when he couldn't get his way, offering things that meant he would always get the outcome he wanted. But he was getting frustrated, he was good at hiding it, but I could tell. He had all the information in his hands but couldn't use it. He was smart, he wasn't just rushing the rooms. It was just what we expected from him.

"Look, you're behind one of these two doors and we have more than enough firepower to take down both. Can't imagine that's what you all want,"

"How about the priest? Father, you help us wrap this up, we'll let you walk away from this. Just open the door and you can go," I hoped that Gabriel would ignore the offer. We didn't know him well enough to say for sure that he would trust us more than them. The only thing I can think is that he'd stay quiet because he's seen what they did to Bob's leg, but after the story about him locking his congregation outside to save himself, there was the chance he'd take the deal. "You can take the baby with you. What do you say?"

Silence.

Silence was a good thing in this situation—which was what made my heart jump into my throat when Judith let out a wail that nobody could've missed. Perfect timing, Judith, just perfect. Rick stood straight now, but I listened as footsteps moved around inside.

"I don't know. Maybe we'll keep the kid," Gareth said. "I'm starting to like this girl."

My eyes snapped to Rick, and he nodded for me to quietly enter the room. He was the one who came in behind me, but we stayed right next to the door in the shadows. I raised my gun, waiting for the signal.

"It's your last chance right now to tell us you're coming out."

They waited for a long time, the two at the door holding their positions. Nobody made a move. Rick was kept in the corner of my eye, so whatever signal he made, I could respond to it immediately. Gareth waited for half a minute before his men got bored of the idea.

"Are we done?" The man beside him asked, fed up.

"We'll hit the hinges," Gareth replied, readying his gun.

"Now," Rick whispered.

I shot the person on the left behind the door, the plastic bottle clattering to the ground. Rick shot the one on the right immediately after me, but we stayed concealed in the darkness. Gareth and the two men beside him looked around for us.

"Put your guns on the floor."

Gareth pointed at the door with two fingers. "Rick, we'll fire right into that office. So you lower your gun—"

Rick sent off another shot, which cut straight through Gareth's fingers. He keeled over and yelled out in pain as Rick stepped out into the moonlit room, his gun still raised. I holstered my gun and placed my hand over my knife as I moved around to the pews on my left.

"Put your gun on the floor and kneel," Rick growled.

"Do what he says," Gareth nodded, kneeling on the ground himself. Most of the men did the same, which was when I walked down the side of the church, standing back from the two kneeled people until the hooded man decided to follow suit. "Martin, there's no choice here."

Martin had bruises over his face, which is why I assumed Gareth mentioned that he knew Tyreese. Tyreese had some problems when Martinez and Carol had come into Terminus to save us, but no one pushed on it.

"Yeah, there is," he said, glancing at me.

"Want to bet?" Abraham asked behind me.

Gareth was gasping as he clutched his hand to his chest, and waited until Martin had realised there was no way out of this. He knelt by his side, which was when I made my move to the front of the room.

"No point in begging, right?" Gareth asked.

I stepped past the first man on my side, watching as Abraham made sure he saw the gun in his hands so he didn't try to grab me. Then I moved past the next one, standing behind him as he faced the middle where Rick was now leering over Gareth.

"No," Rick said.

Gareth nodded, leaning to the ground and clutching his hand. "Still, you could have killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that."

"We didn't want to waste the bullets," Rick said.

"We don't have to put on a show like some people," I added, getting Gareth's attention for a second.

Gareth went quiet, looking my way. He winced and breathed in a sharp breath, before looking back at Rick. "We used to help people. We saved people," Gareth explained. "Things changed. They came in and—" he groaned, clutching his hand as he leaned forward. "After that . . . I know that you've been out there, but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry."

I wanted to believe that if I was in that situation then I would keep control, but there were always horror stories about what happens to the body when it thinks it's starving. It's where the ideology of the Wendigo came from, someone went hungry, and starved until they had no choice but to resort to cannibalism. Luckily for us, that was a myth.

"You don't have to do this," he begged. "We can walk away. And we will never cross paths again. I promise you."

"But you'll cross someone's path," Rick shrugged. "You'd do this to anyone, right?"

Gareth did not attempt to lie, because we already knew the answer.

"Besides," Rick tilted his head, and I knew what was coming. "I already made you a promise."

As he reached for his red-handled machete, I grabbed the person in front of me under the chin and cut deeply into his throat, the blood spilling over my hand. Then I yanked the knife out back and slammed it into his chest, aiming for the heart. The body fell on the ground in front of me, so I took my knife and stabbed it up into the back of his head to put the body down.

The sounds from behind were faint as I looked around. Martinez and Michonne were at the opposite end, each having dealt with their person. Abraham was slamming the butt of his gun into the man's face, bludgeoning him to death. Sasha had Martin against the fence around the altar as she stabbed him over and over and over again. The rage was creeping up inside of me, and I felt the whole world slipping away with the blood that dripped down my hands onto the body in front of me.

I looked up again to Glenn, Maggie and Tara who were grouped in the middle of the church, and a lump caught in my throat. They were all terrified. The feeling that I could burn down the world was replaced with a crippling guilt that made my hands shake. The room was suffocating me, walls coming in to crush me under the weight of what I'd done.

"It could have been us."

The echo of the voice told me that someone had actually said it, and it wasn't just me trying to convince myself that we did the right thing. We did the right thing, but the look I received from Glenn was making me question myself.

"This is the Lord's house," Gabriel's voice brought me back to the room, and I looked over. There were tears in his eyes as he looked around at his church, his home that we had turned into a bloodbath.

"No," Maggie's voice was choked with tears. "It's just four walls and a roof."

I looked over at them again when Glenn met my eyes. He swallowed hard as his unblinking eyes moved down. Following his gaze, I realised that he was looking at my hand, my blood-covered hand in horror. Any justification that I was protecting my family was thrown out the window when I saw how disappointed he was.

I needed to get out of here.

Needed to breathe.

Needed space.

Hand coming up to press at my temple, I walked past Abraham who knelt to check his body, stabbing the head in case his bludgeoning hadn't caused enough damage to the brain. I didn't know how that could've been the case, but it was better safe than sorry. I pulled the door back and stepped outside into the cold air.

My breath caught as I tried to get air, unable to get in a full gasp. I pressed my hand into my sternum as I sat down on the step and sucked in another breath, holding it until it felt like it had reached the bottom of my lungs. It felt like all the adrenaline was just hitting me and clenched my fists on my lap.

I can't keep doing this.

I can't keep doing this

I can't—

"Are you okay?"

The voice from behind didn't scare me, it was expected. Rick waited for a response that never came, before stepping down onto the step to sit beside me. I couldn't say anything, couldn't answer. I didn't want Rick to be disappointed in me for thinking that I couldn't do this anymore.

How could I be okay after all of this? You've done it before, the voice at the back of my head answered. I had done it before, but I wasn't okay then, either. The difference between then and now was that we had time now—no matter what Abraham believed—and I could feel the effects of what I'd done as it happened.

"Here," Rick held out a rag. "Clean yourself up."

My mouth moved to thank him, but it was so quiet that it couldn't have been considered a whisper. I took the rag and wiped at the blood, still wet on my hands, almost dyeing dark patches into my skin as I rubbed it away.

There was no attempt to comfort me, which should've made me realise something was wrong. But him sitting there, so close, was enough to keep me planted in reality. We were okay for now, and we just needed to find Carol and Daryl safe to keep it that way, but that was the primary focus now.

Rick didn't look hopeful, though, and the more he sat in silence beside me, the more the anxiety crept back into my soul, squeezed at my chest and kept me thinking. The trouble with Terminus was over, so why did he look so miserable?

"I think you should go."

The words hit me like a truck with enough force to knock the wind out of me, and I couldn't move. I was cold, my blood stopped in place and my mouth hung open as I tried to form the words. "What?"

Rick didn't look at me—couldn't look at me. His lips pressed together as his gaze remained fixated on the tree line. The curls of his hair fell in front of his face when his head turned to the ground in front of him, and then finally, he met my eyes.

"I think you should go," he repeated, "with Glenn."

Don't do this, I silently pleaded with him. Not you. "No."

"He's going to be worried about you, and Isaac isn't going to stay—"

"No!" I exclaimed standing up. "This is so stupid! We just found each other. Carol and Daryl are gone and you're letting him split us up!"

Rick turned away. "I know, but they already made a deal with Abraham."

I scoffed, spinning around as I dug the palms of my hands into my eyes; I felt the wetness gather against my skin. Rick was the one to come out here and ask me because he knew I couldn't deny him. Whatever he said, I would do—It was something that made this hurt even more.

"It's not forever," he promised, the gravel crunching as he stepped closer to me. "As soon as Daryl and Carol come back, we'll be right behind you—"

My hands dropped to my side and I stared at the trees. "Did Glenn ask you to do this?"

Rick stayed quiet, cleverly avoiding the question; I didn't get my answer and he didn't have to deal with the backlash that would come from giving it to me. If I wasn't angry at anyone then it meant he had more of a chance to convince me to go with them. The hurt of betrayal swiped the will out from under me and I couldn't get it back.

Why couldn't I keep us together?

I just wanted us to stay together.

"What happened to 'you belong with us'?" I asked, facing him again.

Rick was not caught off guard by the question, and he answered with certainty. "You do."

"Then why are you doing this?" A breath shot out in the middle of my sentence. "Why are you making me leave them behind? They could need help and you're just sending me away."

"Whatever happens, you're not going to see some of us for a little while," and there's nothing you can do to fix it. "Do you remember how you felt when they were sick? It'll be like that again, you won't know what's happening to them."

"I'll be like that either way! I lose people on both sides!" I cried. "They chose to go. This—" I pointed between us. "This isn't a decision."

Rick did not answer, because with that, he knew that I was going with them. I had no other choice. Rick told me to go, so I had to go. My nose stung and I felt my lips quiver, but I held myself together as I stared at him.

"You can't think of me like your kid," I said a sad smile on my face for a second when I remembered how I felt when he told me that lie. I shook my head and finished, "You wouldn't do this to any of your kids."

I dropped to a ball and cried silently into my hands, while Rick stood silently over my dead body.

After moving the corpses out, we said our goodbyes to Bob. I said goodbye and made a quick exit, knowing that I wasn't the person he wanted to spend the remainder of his time with, and left him with Sasha and the others. Rick was the one to stay with him at the end before leaving him with Sasha so she could spend his final moments at his side.

They moved his body outside to bury him before we left, and Sasha stayed by his grave, making Bob a cross that would sit at the head. The last time we had done this was when the people fell sick in the prison, and it was nice that he wasn't just a body forgotten in battle.

Carl hugged me when he found out that I was leaving. I don't know what it was that tipped him off, my tear-stained face or that I was packing my items into the bag. He just came over and hugged me, asking me not to leave and please don't leave again.

I couldn't tell him that it was his dad that made me do it.

Rick was watching us from across the room, only for a second, and he turned away when I caught him looking. I focused my attention back to Carl who sat beside me on the bench and watched as I hung the riot gear over the back of my bag.

"I don't want you to go," he repeated quietly.

"It won't be for long," I turned on the pew to face him. "When your dad brings back Daryl and Carol, you'll be back with us. I promise."

Carl was the one to hug me at the church door, again, so tight that it felt like it would crack a rib, and he went to walk Judith outside. The pain clutched onto my throat as I watched from the bottom step.

Abraham handed Rick a map. "This is our route to DC. We'll stick to it when we're able, but, if not, well, you got our destination," Rick nodded. "Once Eugene gets to the big brains left up there, things are gonna bounce back. This group should be there for it. You should be there for it."

"They will be," Maggie said from behind Rick.

"We will," Michonne agreed.

Rick looked back at them and smiled. "We will."

I looked away, an unwanted anger creeping up. No part of me wanted to be mad at them, but I didn't understand why they were so happy about this. I wanted to smile with them, but guilt kept my face miserable when I remembered that Daryl and Carol were gone. Daryl and Carol were gone, and I was leaving them behind.

Rick nodded and waved the map for Abraham, and he took that as his cue. "Let's go."

It didn't escape me that Glenn and Maggie lost their smiles as they looked at each other, and they didn't want to go either, but they followed Abraham anyway as Rosita closed the back door. Michonne cut me off before I could follow and engulfed me in a hug.

"I'll see you soon, okay?"

The promise just made me want to cry all over again, and I almost did, but I managed to hold it together. I weakly hugged her back, and she moved out of my way to allow me to pass, and I went to follow Martinez onto the bus.

"Ace—" Rick placed a hand on my shoulder.

I brushed him off and walked past before he could say anything else. It killed me, but hearing anything he had to say would've made me feel even worse. I ignored Isaac whose head bowed as I passed and stepped onto the bus.

Taking the seat at the back, I stared out at the distance in silence for a few minutes. The engine rumbled to life. Carl gave me a small smile and a wave which I had to return because the thought of hurting him by not responding was breaking my heart and Michonne nodded with a smile. The engine rumbled to life, and the bus jerked forward.

Movement brought me back to the bus, and the people inside. Glenn held onto the seats as he walked over and sat down beside me. I didn't look at him or give any indication that he wanted to speak to me, because I don't think I could have kept myself civil.

"I'm glad you came," he said.

My eyes pricked with tears, and I took big breaths to overcome the pain that was seizing in my throat. I stared out of the window and didn't respond. Glenn waited for me to say something, anything, but I couldn't. He sighed, stood up and moved across the bus to sit next to Maggie. I watched as the church disappeared behind a group of trees, taking my family with it.

Here it is. Finally finished the project that's been killing me so I should be better at the chapers now.

Hope you enjoyed.