Prompt #16 I don't need your pity.

Sympathy for the Devil

"I don't care, and I don't want your pity or your money—and I don't want John's!"

Before Robert Muldoon and Ray Arnold could respond to his outburst, Dennis Nedry stormed out of the department store. He was oblivious to their stares as he headed to the nearest men's bathroom on the same floor. He didn't want to stay there too long in case they searched for him. His entire body was tense with guilt—guilt because he knew they were trying to help him get settled after his release from prison. John Hammond had sent them to meet him at Green Hills. Although it was a pleasant surprise, a part of him wanted to hide from them. He felt deeply embarrassed to receive support from the boss who screwed him over in the first place, and assistance from the same two co-workers who caught him red-handed.

He was about to leave the bathroom when he caught his reflection in the mirror. He touched the scars Lewis Dodgson had left on his face. They were identical to Muldoon's facial scars from the raptor attack. Dodgson had purposely carved those scars on his face, to forever haunt him. For an instant, Nedry saw Dodgson leaning over him with the surgical scalpel. In his mind, he heard the clatter of Dodgson fiddling with the surgical tools. He was transported back to that cold basement and strapped to the gurney with Lopez and Tembo standing over him.

Nedry quickly turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on his face, forcing him back into the present. He wasn't a confidential informant anymore, and he took several deep breaths to calm down and reorient himself. He was in a California shopping mall, and this was his first day out of prison as a free man. That helped and now Nedry was able to move forward. It was better to leave here so that he wouldn't keep having unwanted flashbacks and terrible memories of Dodgson's viciousness.

Nedry knew exactly where he'd go next when he saw the signs pointing towards the food court. As he stepped onto the ascending escalator, he took out Daniel Walker's business card. Walker had given it to him moments before Nedry met Arnold and Muldoon in the prison's parking lot. Walker had offered to help him and encouraged him to stay in touch. It was nice to know someone wanted him to succeed after all his failures. He put the business card back in his pocket and took out the debit card the prison staff had provided to him before he left. He had some money left over from his commissary account, and he knew where he would use it. The food court. It was the perfect escape for him. Deciding to buy something from McDonald's, he ordered his meal and then found a secluded corner where he could eat and think in peace.

As he took a hearty bite of the cheeseburger, Nedry thought of everything that had led him to this point. Everything from the time Arnold and Muldoon caught him at the east dock, to his arrest, his trial, and his incarceration. Running around with Dodgson and the Biosyn team, causing trouble for InGen. The moment he realized he had gone too far and wanted to make amends to InGen. That entire journey seemed to last forever. Muldoon allowed him to leave Isla Nublar after he helped InGen get rid of Biosyn. Nedry continued to be on the run from the law until he ran into the Biosyn team in California. Law enforcement finally caught him, and he had to stand before the same judge who had presided over his original trial.

His capture led to his second chance for redemption: become a confidential informant, gain information about Biosyn and Dodgson to lock them up—and get Henry Wu to return to InGen. He would receive a sentence commutation if he achieved both goals, which was a decent option compared to a life sentence. It took Muldoon convincing him to get him on board. The predictable happened: the Biosyn team abducted Nedry. He didn't let that deter him from completing the assignment. Over the span of a week, Nedry convinced Wu to return to InGen even while the Biosyn team held him prisoner. In between being abused and tortured, he managed to get them to talk about their previous heists and all the times they trespassed on Isla Nublar. The hidden mics picked up everything. Everyone on the Biosyn team—including Dodgson himself—received lengthy prison sentences. InGen could finally move forward.

Nedry glanced around the food court. He spotted a bearded man, a woman with long black hair, and a bald man sitting at a table nearby, laughing, and eating a meal together. Nedry shook his head. For an instant, he thought it was Lopez, Sonya, and Tembo. The thought flitted through his mind: they're gonna finish what they started. Just as quickly, he reminded himself that they were all doing hard time. All the times they had mocked and belittled him for being a convicted felon, and now the tables had turned. Justice had been served.

To distract himself, he started playing with the French fries on his tray. There was no point in worrying about his worst enemies whose only aim was to destroy him. Nedry grabbed a handful of fries and shoved them in his mouth, willing the food to calm him. Eating his feelings usually worked for him even though it was unhealthy. It was why he had gained so much weight in the past…

When he had started working for Hammond, he was already overweight, but the stress got to him, and he began seeking food as a solace as time went on. Soon, his eating spiraled out of control, and he found himself eating for reasons that had nothing to do with hunger. It was comforting to enjoy the flavor of his favorite meal. Afterwards, he would feel guilty, but it didn't stop him from tasting the chocolate, crunching the potato chips, drinking the soda, and eating the pizza. It was a temporary escape from all the stress. There was no one from InGen that he could talk to, nobody he could vent to about his frustrations with Hammond. Eating alone increased his overeating.

Nedry picked up the half-eaten cheeseburger and then placed it down. This time, he would allow his mind to review everything that had occurred—without the added distraction of gorging on junk food.

For successfully completing his role as a confidential informant, his initial sentence of ten to fifteen years was commuted to three years of post-release supervision and three hundred hours of community service. He had to wear an ankle monitor for a year, which he was wearing right now. Nedry was grateful for Judge Hoskins reducing his sentence and dismissing the charges he had racked up after he escaped from prison, but he didn't feel like himself anymore. He often felt emptiness inside and constant exhaustion. Even now, the heaviness weighed him down. Physically, emotionally, and mentally, he was burned out. His self-worth was shattered, and his self-esteem was non-existent.

He didn't dare reveal to Arnold and Muldoon the nightmares that made it impossible to sleep, and the flashbacks that made daytime more difficult. It was his burden to bear, and he didn't want them to feel sorry for him. Muldoon and Arnold were there to help him with re-entering society, but the truth was they shouldn't be here. Even the way he yelled at them earlier caused Nedry to cringe now. He sounded like his old self—obnoxious and arrogant. It was a coverup for the insecurity that constantly plagued him. Nedry knew he had put himself in this predicament. Although he had made amends, he had committed many wrongs. He didn't deserve anyone's pity or compassion. Especially not Hammond's. Nedry thought of the check Hammond had written out for him. He had wanted to rip up the check, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Thankfully, it was deposited into his bank account now.

Nedry sighed and looked down at the food. Half of it was eaten, and his appetite had disappeared. He wished he could go back to eating because it would distract him from his past that kept haunting him. When he looked up again, he saw Arnold and Muldoon approaching him. They had found him, although he didn't want to be found. He just wanted to be left alone. He was already a loner, and isolation was comforting for him, even though it was unbearable at times.

As they neared him, his mind started replaying every harmful act he had committed and every snide remark. It was like seeing and hearing everything on a movie screen—he couldn't escape his own bad memories. He remembered when he had shut down the power during initial park inspection to commit his first theft. Muldoon told him later that if he had been killed, then others would've been killed. That thought always haunted Nedry. He had never imagined the possibility of deadly consequences for his actions.

Then he recalled shutting down the power when the Biosyn higher-ups were touring Jurassic Park. It was during the time Dodgson and his gang took over Isla Nublar, and unknown to everyone but himself, Nedry was playing both sides. Arnold had told him he wished he had been killed during the initial park inspection. Back then, Nedry had no idea how to respond to Arnold. Knowing that Arnold hated him to the point where he wished death on him—there was no sarcastic or witty comeback that Nedry could pull from his arsenal. It was then that he was painfully aware, although he had known for some time, of how much he was despised.

Sometimes Nedry thought Arnold was right: it would've been better off for him and everyone else if he had died that night, even though Muldoon said others would've lost their lives. But as he had told Arnold, there were things he needed to take care of, and maybe, that's why he was still alive. It wasn't his time yet. If he had been killed during the park inspection while trying to deliver the dinosaur embryos, Jurassic Park would've been destroyed. His coworkers and the guests, and even Hammond himself could've been killed.

There never would've been an opportunity for Nedry to change, to redeem himself, and to right his wrongs.

So maybe being caught red-handed later was the best outcome for him and everyone else. After all, Nedry had come a long way since the day of his arrest. From constantly being locked up in solitary confinement to being a model inmate. From being Dodgson's most trusted employee to being the proverbial thorn in his flesh. From being Muldoon's archrival, to his respected ally. Even his relationship with Hammond had changed for the better: they had a decent rapport and had worked through their differences to the extent that Hammond was willing to help him readjust to life outside. Even the cop who captured him in California, Corey Anderson, played a role in helping him to find housing after his release from prison.

Now they sat down with him, and he couldn't avoid them any longer, even if he wanted to. Nedry watched them carefully, curious about who would break the ice. Surprisingly, it was Arnold.

"I asked you the wrong question earlier," he said. Arnold was referring to when he asked Nedry why he didn't want to purchase a bedroom set for his new apartment.

Nedry had felt overcome with shame that he couldn't afford it on his own. Hammond had given him money which had been deposited in the bank. The money was what Hammond owed him for demanding extra work, and then he doubled that amount for everything Nedry went through when he worked as a confidential informant. Muldoon and Arnold were willing to pay out of their pockets for whatever Nedry needed for his new apartment. Right away he could feel his stomach churning and his heart start to bang against his chest as anger took over his rationale. He glared at Arnold.

"You asked the right one and I gave you my right answer: I don't want your help."

That did it because Arnold tossed his lighter on the table. Nedry didn't respond to Arnold's outward sign of frustration. Even when Muldoon sipped alcohol from his flask, Nedry ignored that too. Then Arnold asked him the question he least expected:

"Do you forgive yourself, Dennis?"

That completely threw him off. He blinked, shocked by the question. He knew the answer and he couldn't face them. "I guess I do—I've tried to."

Without stating it aloud, Nedry knew why he couldn't forgive himself after everything he had done. He didn't want their forgiveness, or even Hammond's forgiveness, to be born from pity or sympathy. And Nedry didn't want to have a pity party for himself. He knew he would forever live out the consequences of his actions no matter the amends he had made to everyone. In that sense, compassion, pity, kindness, and sympathy had no place in his life now…and he had learned to accept that harsh reality…

Author's Notes: Dennis Nedry is a fat character in both the film and novel canon. For my Reign of Chaos series, I decided to write him as losing weight in prison. I thought this would be realistic. I also wanted to give him an aggressive edge, a vengeful streak. I had read fics where Nedry's character had been body shamed (back in the early 2000s) and wanted him to be seen as in-depth character with his own emotions and motivations. For this one-shot, I wanted to explore why Nedry is the fat character we see in the novel and film. What's behind his overeating? It's too easy to pinpoint his weight as a symbol of his greed (which might be something Michael Crichton was going for), but I want him to be seen as more than just his size. People overeat for various reasons, including life, stress, to cope (although it's not healthy coping), and because food can be an addiction for some. There's an interview where Wayne Knight shared that he used to eat food to "numb himself", "for reasons that had nothing to do with hunger", and that he treated his overeating as an addiction. This helped inspire this one-shot, and I hope it adds to Nedry's character. Thank you for reading.

-Sassy Lil Scorpio