Chapter 8
Second Floor
The walls are colored light blue with the white tile, making the room peaceful. It smells clean and sterile, in the hospital kind of way. The sheets are thin but starchy to touch. My bed isn't too comfortable, especially with the wires in my arms and the monitor on my belly. My eyes are tired but I stare at the black boxed television mounted to the wall. The news broadcast's the explosion earlier today. Thankfully they missed Nightwing and I arguing, but caught him picking me up and running with me. after they found the heartbeat, they checked me out making sure I was okay. They decided since I was so early in my pregnancy to keep me for 24 hours. Nightwing stayed there with me, but as they did a pelvic exam he bowed out for privacy and I haven't seen him since.
Arguing in front of everyone over a child he wanted me to get rid of, my knight in fucking shining armor. I lean my head back into the pillow thinking of everything I need to do now. Call the insurance company, get a loner car to seattle, then make an appointment with a doctor there. figure out how the hell im going to raise a child and run a business. My head stats to spin and suddenly I throw the remote across the room into the wall. "They said you cant be under any stress." Nightwing stands at the door with a takeout bag
"Then maybe you shouldn't be here." I turn to the window. He sighs walking across the room to my side table. He sits the bag down pulling out a bottle of water, a spinach salad and a yogurt. He throws the bag away and turns walking to the door.
"Has folic acid, helps with spine development." He sighs leaving the room. I stare at the now empty door frame, then at the salad. I hate this. I hate this anger I feel towards him. The angers mixed with love, and sadness. Its too much to take in right now. He told me we couldn't have the baby, and now is giving me folic acid riched food for the baby?
"What a cluster fuck" I put my head in my hands. I lean my head back into the pillow, closing my eyes. I fall asleep for what seems like days until I wake to a snoring sound other than mine. Its dark out and the tv is still on. I look to my left where Nightwing sits in a recliner snoring with files on his lap. I smile slightly until I remember whats happened today. I sigh as I swing my legs over the bed, hoping to make it to the bathroom without waking him. But as soon as I get out of bed, my machine starts buzzing with an empty IV bag. Involuntary I shush it. Then look to Nightwing whos staring at me.
He awkwardly clears his throat setting up, quickly organizing the files. A nurse comes in. "Oh your up." She smiles.
"I need to use the restroom." I sigh.
She quickly clamps the IV unhooking me from the machine. She smiles as she unhooks the monitor on my belly. After I go to the bathroom and get everything hooked back up. I look at Nightwing standing next to the window. "Hungry? You didn't eat earlier." He turns to me avoiding eye contact.
"Yeah." I lean my head back.
"What do you want, I can run anywhere. Hospital food sucks and cafeteria is closed." He lightly smiles.
"What happened to the salad?" I look over to the empty table.
"Rae, I gave that to you 14 hours ago, I threw it away. You've been asleep for a while."
"Oh." I look down feeling suddenly emotional. "I'm sorry." I begin to cry.
"Its fine, but you need to eat." He sighs. "I can get you another one if you want" I nod in response trying to hide my tears. He leaves the room quietly. A nurse brings me a glass of ice water as I watch a rerun of Friends on tv. Nightwing comes back carrying the salad with a fork. He slides the table over me and sits it down.
"Thank you." I begin to eat. Its so good. I end up eating it all in about 3 minutes. We sit in silence as we watch the episode together. Its awkward being next to him with so many emotions and thoughts. he sits looking at a tablet screen, swiping every now and then.
"Did you want anything else?" he throws the empty container away.
"No." I sigh.
"Insurance totaled the Jeep. But with your policy and the worth of it, they are giving you $12,000." He looks at the screen, "They only wanted to give you $6,000, but with you using them for your business, home, car, and life, I made them refigure."
"You talked to my insurance company?" I stare blankly.
"Yes. You also have a rental car for the next thirty days or until you can find a new one. No charge "
"You get that from Bruce." I blurt out.
"What?" he looks puzzled.
"Making sure business in order when you cant help any other way." I look down, "Thank you. I appreciate it."
"How are you feeling?" he stays focused on the screen.
"Confussed," I look directly at him. He sighs turning the tablet off giving me his attention. "You say you love me, that you want to be with me. You even proposed." I sigh, "Yet when we created a life that all went out the door. You wanted me to kill our unborn child. Then you come in talking about pregnancy shit of whats good, like you care."
"Rae-" he begins.
"Don't Rae me Richard, I'm very angry at you and have every right to be." I scowl at him as he tenses.
"When I was a child I was used as a pawn to Batman. I was his weakness. So they would torcher me if caught. Try to brain wash me." he looks away for a second and then back, "While I imagined having kids one day. Nightwing didn't exist to stop bad guys. Unfortuantly there are bad guys, and I am Nightwing. Raven, I'm scared to death of burying our own child because of who I am."
"and I haven't thought of that?" I stare. "That's been the number one thing on my mind, of what happens when a motherfucker touches my child." I sigh closing my eyes taking a deep breath. "You wanted me to kill our child before someone else could?" I question.
"Wasn't really thinking Raven." He sighed. "Its just a big slap in the face."
"Oh really, I thought the pink plus sign on the test was the slap as I cried in my apartment over you." I cross my arms.
"Hey, you're the one who said no." he retorted, "you're the one who said it was only a weekend thing."
"and you're the one who said you loved me and then left in the middle of the night, not giving a damn about what or where I was going."
"I found you and tried to make things right." He snarls standing up
"Too little too late!" I yell.
"I'm sorry Rae, I just lose my fucking mind when I'm around you. when you do the simplest things, its as if you could rule the world. Reading a book you involuntary bite your lip at the tense moments. You live in the stories. Your eyes widen with the first sip of cappuccino and you always smile when you remove the cup from those soft lips." He sighs looking up from the floor. "You make me weak and stupid. Sometimes I feel so inferior to you."
"Oh." I stare at my nails trying to comprehend everything he just said.
"I know your life is there, but I have some property pinned in bludhaven to open a second shop. In business districts, which don't have a lot of shops. By my statistics youd have 20% more profit there than in Seattle. On weekends I can fly you to bludhaven or whenever you want." He sighs. "Please don't get rid of the baby. I was scared and stupid." He sits on the bed taking his mask off. "I do love you Rachel. I'll do whatever to make this work. If not for us, for our child.
"I need time." I breath as the nurse walks in. Nightwing turns putting his mask on.
"Sir, the doctor warned you." she looked at the screen. "You've got to go." She ordered. He sighed and nodded. Learning over he kissed my forehead.
"Sorry honey, I gotta go. I didn't mean to get you worked up." He heads for the door as I continue staring down.
My mind aches with the day. I look out to the rising sun trying to think, but I close my eyes trying to remember the feel of his lips on my forehead. Do I forgive him? Or do I hold it against him? I have to forgive him of everything. Of leaving me when the titans left, of not contacting me for months, for finding me when I was finally settled, for proposing to me bringing every feeling rushing back, and the biggest… asking me to abort our child..