"Last time on Total Drama…" Chris began the recap. "we celebrated our 100th episode with a surprise guest appearance and a kidnapping of the hosty kind. Ah! Help! Hey! Who put that there? Ahem. Alejandro found out who sabotaged the last vote and made himself an insurance policy. And Courtney proved to be quite the klutzy kisser. I said help! Okay, someone is so getting fired! Chef is a stress eater, Mal betrayed Cam, Gwen stopped Zeke, Cam got hurt, Cam got flushed. Help! That is it! Luckily, nothing gets me out of a bad mood faster than upping the ow factor in a challenge. Stick around to see who goes down right here on Total. Drama. All-Stars! Tell the editor to meet me at the Flush of Shame!" he ended the recap as Chef chuckled in the DVD room.
(Theme song)
Cut to the girls side of the cabin. "How could Scott dump me? Ugh!" Courtney complained.
"I know it's hard." Zoey said.
"I didn't even write that list!" Courtney complained.
"Oh, of course, but..." Zoey said.
"But he doesn't even believe it!" Courtney complained.
"Time out! Sorry. Just, maybe you just need to talk. I mean, you did this before so I don't blame him for not trusting you." Zoey said.
Confessional: Courtney
"Ugh, Zoey's right, I guess it makes sense why Scott would think I'd write a list like that. But I know I didn't do it and I need to prove that to him!" Courtney said.
"Thanks, Zoey. Do me a favor and try to convince people not to vote me off? Now that Gwen's gone and that Scott doesn't trust me, I need all the help I can get." Courtney said.
"I don't know how much I can do but I'll try!" Zoey said.
"Thanks, you're a pal." Courtney said as she laid on her bed when Mal knocked on the window which Zoey opened.
"Hey, Zoey. You okay?" Mal asked.
"Yeah. though I'm still shocked that we got two eliminations yesterday. I feel so bad for Gwen." Zoey said.
"Uh, me too." Mal said.
Confessional: Mal
"Ha. I really don't care what happened to that goth, hell I'm happy she got crushed, now there's less people in my way." Mal said.
Cut to Mike and Chester walking in his subconscious. "So much walking. Why'd I ever agree to go on a quest? Ah, there better not be any of that rock and or roll music! Or, or dancing where we're going!" Chester complained as they saw Svetlana making butter sculptures.
"Will you keep it down with the babbling? He might hear you!" Svetlana said.
"Svetlana! Uh, oh. What are you doing?" Mike said.
"Mal told me. Sculpting fishes with butter or cease to exist." Svetlana said.
"Well, it's time to cease his existence. Come with us!" Mike said.
"Shh! Stop this talking! He has the ears everywhere." Svetlana said as she pointed at some giant ears around them.
"Okay, that could be a problem." Mike said.
"Ugh, we don't have time for this yammerin'! Do you know where a dumb puzzle is?" Chester asked.
"Well, I do know one up ahead." Svetlana said.
"Great! We need to get to it and solve it so a lock on the giant tower opens. Will you help us?" Mike asked.
"Hmm. Hoorah! Svetlana helps you now!" Svetlana said as they high-fived.
"Sweet! Let's go!" Mike said as they ran off.
"Ugh, more walking." Chester sighed.
Cut to Mike, Svetlana and Chester arriving at an obstacle course. "There is a button at the end that you need to press!" Svetlana said.
"Wow, this looks like something from Saga of the Abstract Guardians! I loved that show as a kid!" Mike said.
"Zat sounds fun!" Svetlana said.
"Yeah! You know, your gymnast abilities are pretty similar to Seletana from that show." Mike said.
"Really?" Svetlana asked.
"Yeah, she was always my fav!" Mike said.
"We don't have time to discuss some crappy cartoons! Let's go!" Chester said as they went in the course.
Cut back to the confessional. "Now to deal with my biggest threat. Alejandro. Ho ho. He's going to pay for sabotaging my sabotage." Mal said.
"Okay, we need to talk about who to vote next." Mal said.
"Can it not be Courtney? I promised I wouldn't vote for her." Zoey said.
"Nah, I was thinking of Alejandro. Dude's a meace!" Mal said.
"True. He did cause more than half the eliminations in season three…" Zoey said.
"Yeah, see! We need to vote him off." Mal said.
"Yeah, we just can't trust him." Zoey said.
Confessional: Zoey
"I don't know what to think about what's going on with Mike ever since I found those crossed out pictures of Cameron, but he's right about Alejandro needing to go." Zoey said.
"Attention maggots! Last one to the beach drops and gives me fifty! Hup hup hup!" Chef said from the loudspeaker. Courtney got out of the cabin and tripped on the stairs.
"Ow! What are you doing?" Courtney asked as she saw Scott eating dirt.
"I'm sad. And when I'm sad, I eat dirt. You'll never try to control me, will you?" Scott cried as he ate dirt.
"Oh, that is it! LIsten up, farmboy! I didn't write that stupid list!" Courtney yelled.
"Hmph, then who did!?" Scott replied.
Confessional: Courtney
"Ugh, this would be so much easier if I had any idea on who wrote that list." Courtney sighed.
Confessional: Scott
"I'm not forgiving or forgetting yet! I thought Courtney loved me and yet she still wrote that horrible list where she was even complaining about me eating dirt!? I mean, what's wrong with that!?" Scott complained.
Cut to everyone arriving at the forest where Chris and Chef were. "At ease, maggots." Chris said.
"'Bout time you got here. I was almost getting bored." Chef said as Alejandro came.
"Glad you could join us, Alejandro. You know the deal. Last one here equals pushups there." Chris said.
"Of course I'm gonna be the last one, I was exiled on Boney Island." Alejandro said.
"You mean... Exiled on Boney Island, Master Chief!" Chef yelled with his megaphone.
Confessional: Alejandro
"Chris is lucky I have a bigger problem to deal with. Mal. Sadly, I cannot bring the DVD outside the hotel, but I could show it to someone by winning the challenge and taking them with me. When the time is right, bam! I'll expose that phony or my name isn't Alejandro Burrosmuertos." Alejandro said.
"Tell them what your last name means!" Chris laughed from outside.
"Ugh. It's a very respected name where I come from. Very respected." Alejandro said.
"And, fifty! Didn't break a sweat." Alejandro said as he finished doing push-ups.
"Listen up, worms. My boot camp challenge in season one was tough. But this is season five, and things are about to get a whole lot more hurty." Chef said
"With the Chris McLean Obsta-kill Course. Patent pending." Chris said as he pointed at an obstacle course.
"To win this full on race challenge and avoid getting flushed, first, you'll have to conquer the fun tires. Get through them, and you're onto the rope slope. Some ropes are less reliable than others." Chef said.
"So, choose wisely. But not too wisely. That'll spoil the fun. For me." Chris said.
"Next, the snapping bars." Chef said.
"Why are they called that?" Zoey asked.
"Oh, you'll see. Then it's on to a pleasant run through the Duck-and-Cover. Come out of that alive, and you're in for a real treat." Chef said.
"Pfft. Piece of cake." Scott said.
"Oh. In that case…" Chef said.
"No!" Scott yelled.
"Everyone has to wear a heavy pack for the whole challenge." Chef said as everyone sighed.
"Scott!" Courtney complained.
"Seriously?" Zoey complained.
"Not again!" Alejandro complained.
"Abandon your pack, and you'll face a brutal penalty. Seriously. This is gonna be awesome." Chris chuckled.
"So, Brick, who are you planning on voting?" Zoey asked Brick.
"Well, I voted for Alejandro last time and I was planning on voting him again." Brick said.
"Me and Mike were planning on that too! Want to join us in voting him off?" Zoey asked.
"Sounds like a plan, troop!" Brick said.
"Thanks! Sorry for voting off Lightning by the way, I know he was your ally." Zoey said.
"Nah, it's alright." Brick said.
Confessional: Brick
"I was worried I was going to be targeted after Lightning left, but thankfully that doesn't seem to be the case." Brick said.
"Better watch your step, pal. Or is it Al?" Mal told Alejandro as he approached him.
"Quite a warning coming from the guy who tampered with the votes." Alejandro replied.
"So what? If they didn't believe the people who tried to expose me before, who's gonna believe you, the most manipulative player in Total Drama history?" Mal said
"True. I'm not known for being trustworthy. But just know your hours here are numbered pal. Or should I say, Mal?" Alejandro said as he grabbed Mal's wrist.
"What are you doing!?" Zoey asked as she saw this.
"Uh, he tripped and I was just helping him up." Alejandro said as he helped Mal up.
"Ah!" Mal yelped.
"Ha, you should really be more careful." Alejandro smirked and left.
"Mike, are you okay?" Zoey asked.
"Kind of? But we need to stop Alejandro!" Mal said.
Confessional: Alejandro
"I need to be more careful. I need to prove to everyone who he truly is before I do anything to stop him." Alejandro said.
Confessional: Mal
"I've come this far, I'm not letting Mr. Dead Donkeys stop me now." Mal said.
Cut to everyone on the start line. "On your marks! Get set! Go!" Chef said as he blew an airhorn. Everyone ran into a field of tires.
"This is easy!" Scott screamed as he ran by.
"Ah!" Courtney yelped as she ran into a plank
"Huh? Gah! My foot is touching my face!
"You dung beetles didn't think Master Chief would give you a straight ahead challenge, did you?" Chef chuckled.
"Whoa! Heh heh, careful." Mal said as she helped Zoey when she walked into a water blast.
"Look out!" Zoey said as she helped Mal avoid a water blast
"Thanks! We make a great team." Mal told Zoey as she nervously smiled while
Confessional: Alejandro
"His powers of persuasion are impressive. I must get the others on my side. The gorgeous side." Alejandro said as he looked at himself with a mirror.
"Brick, I need to talk to you." Alejandro said as he approached Brick
"Sorry, I can't. I'm busy trying to stay alive." Brick said.
"Then for now, a warning. Whatever you do, do not trust Mike." Alejandro said.
"Uh, alright?" Brick said.
Confessional: Brick
"Alejandro probably realized he was being targetted and is now trying to pin the blame on someone else. Well, this soldier is not falling for it!" Brick said.
"Mike and Zoey are in the lead, and heading for the Rope Slope. This oughtta be good." Chris said from the loudspeaker as Mal and Zoey began climbing some ropes.
"What the heck?" Zoey said as she sneezed on her rope.
"Come on, Zoey! You can do it!" Mal said.
"I'm trying! Ah…" Zoey sneezed as she fell off the rope.
"Apparently, Zoey's allergic to ropes made of dog hair." Chris said.
"Dog hair? Ew!" Zoey sneezed.
"Zoey, you okay?" Mal asked.
"Keep going! I'll catch up!" Zoey said.
"Licorice? MIght as well make this more fun for the next guy." Mal chuckled as she bit off a piece of the rope and continued climbing.
"Uh, are you allergic to dogs?" Zoey asked as she began climbing another rope while Brick climbed the dog hair rope.
"Weird question. No, sir!" Brick said.
"Heh, it's just your rope is…" Zoey said.
"Huh? Ooh, yuck!" Brick said as he sniffed the rope.
"I know, right? So gross." Zoey said.
Meanwhile, Courtney was running next to Scott. "Scott! I didn't write that list! Please, you have to believe me!" Courtney said.
"We're in a challenge! I don't wanna hear it!" Scott replied.
"Ugh!" Courtney sighed.
Confessional: Courtney
"Ugh, does he have to be so stubborn!?" Courtney sighed.
Cut to Courtney climbing the dog rope while Scott was on the bottom.
"What are you waiting for? Climb!" Courtney said.
"No worries, I'll be up in a country jiffy." Scott said as he climbed a wire rope which zapped him.
"Looks like someone found my favorite rope. The zapper." Chris chuckled as Courtney made it past and Alejandro came, climbing the licorice rope.
"Scott, we need to talk. You can't trust– Perhaps I'll uh, tell you later." Alejandro said as he passed Scott who was getting zapped when the rope he was holding onto broke, only for him to grab the top. "Ai! Ha ha, still got it!" he said.
"Will anyone survive the Obsta-Kill Course? Will Scott become a human hot dog? Will I laugh no matter what? Yes to that. But, for all the other answers, stay tuned to Total. Drama. All-Stars!" Chris said as the screen cut to black.
Cut to Mal reaching some bars over a pool of water and began to climb it. "Mike is first to reach the Snappy Bars, followed by Gwen and Zoey!" Chris said as Brick and Zoey followed him.
"Gah! Killer turtles!" Brick yelped as he saw snapping turtles in the water.
"Ah! So that's why they're called the Snapping Bars! Hilarious!" Zoey said as a turtle bit her foot.
"Ha!" Alejandro said as he came and climbed the bars, grabbing Mal.
"Let go of me." Mal said.
"Not without a fight." Alejandro said as he tore him off the bars and dangled him over the turtle filled water, making him scream.
Cut to inside Mike's subconscious where they were going through the course. "Ugh! This is way too exhausting!" Chester said as he climbed a block.
"Just wait till you get here! Gah!" Mike yelped as he balanced on a beam.
"Hah! This is way too easy! You guys need to keep u-" Svetlana said as she jumped on the beam and held it before switching to Mal who stopped screaming.
"Ugh, not again!" Mal complained.
Cut to the outside. Mal inhaled, turning into Svetlana. "Svetlana's Svetlympic champion with the hanging bars!" Svetlana said as she freed herself for Alejandro's grasp and leaped over to the end.
Confessional: Zoey
"Wait, I thought Mike couldn't access his other personalities anymore? Okay, there is definitely something going on here, and it probably has to do with Mal. I'm starting to think Duncan and Harold may have been right…" Zoey said.
Cut to inside Mike's subconscious when Mal switched to Svetlana. "Huh? What happenzed?" Svetlana asked.
"Mal probably turned into you. Gah, I hope Zoey saw it and got suspicious." Mike said.
"There's the end! Hurrah!" Svetlana said as she leaped to the end and pressed a button, making the tower glow from ahead.
"That must have unlocked a lock!" Mike said as he reached the end.
"Gah! I hate puzzles." Chester complained as he reached the end.
"Well, we still need to find more! Let's go!" Mike said as he and Svetlana ran off.
"Ugh." Chester sighed.
Cut to the inhaled at the finish as Alejandro passed her. "Hah! Later, sucker!" Alejandro mocked as he ran by.
"What the!?" Mal said in shock.
"Alejandro takes the lead, and Mike is standing there like a fool!" Chris said.
Confessional: Mal
"Ugh, I must have changed into an alter. I just hope Zoey didn't see it, she's already been getting suspicious lately." Mal said.
"Hang on, Mike! I'm coming!" Zoey said as she reached the end.
"Ah! Hey! Uh! Help! Gah!" Brick yelped as his boot was bitten by a turtle.
"Oh... here comes Team Make Up Break Up!" Chris said from the megaphone as Courtney and Scott came.
"Ow! My left butt cheek! Ah! My right butt cheek! Why is it always my butt?" Scott yelped as his butt was bitten by turtles.
"Move it! I didn't carry you to the bars just so you could fall off and–" Courtney said
"Who said I wanted your help!?" Scott said as swung away.
"Fine! You're on your own, slacker!" Courtney said.
"Come on! If Alejandro wins, we can't vote him off." Zoey told Mal.
"You go ahead, if I help Scott, he might vote for Alejandro too!" Mal sais.
"Uh, okay, but be careful!" Zoey said as she ran off.
"Oh, I always am." Mal chuckled to himself.
Zoey and Alejandro reached a field. "Zoey, we must talk." Alejandro said.
"What do you want? Trying to handsome-talk your abs out of getting voted out?" Zoey asked.
"What? No no no, Zoey! Mike is not who he seems!" Alejandro said.
"And why should I believe you?" Zoey asked.
Confessional: Zoey
"I wasn't going to admit it to him but honestly… I think he might be right in doubting Mike as much as I hate to say it.
"Because I can prove it! I have a DVD full of incriminating footage!" Alejandro said.
"R-Really? Where is it?" Zoey asked.
"I hid it in the hotel since Chris sadly didn't let me take it out." Alejandro said.
"Well, maybe if you show-Ew!" Zoey yelped as Alejandro got shot with a leech.
"Forgot to mention. This is Chef's favorite place to unwind with some leechball target practice. So, you better duck and you better find cover." Chris said from the megaphone.
"Get ready for pain, suckas!" Chef laughed as he began shooting leeches at them.
"Ow! Ah, dah!" Zoey yelped as she got hit by leeches.
"Ah! Madre mia…" Alejandro yelped as he got hit by a leech when Zoey ran by.
"And Zoey takes the lead!" Chris said from the megaphone when Mal pulled Scott in a bush.
"Hey dude, how about you and me vote off Alejandro tonight?" Mal asked.
"Alejandro? Why?" Scott asked.
"He's the biggest threat, obviously!" Mal said.
"Oh, yeah, nice thinking shrimp!" Scott said.
"Yeah, yeah." Mal rolled his eyes.
"Well, I'm just gonna-Gah! Lousy pack! Forget this!" Scott said as his pack got caught in the bush before he took it off.
"What about the penalty?" Mal asked.
"I'll deal with it when I win!" Scott said as he ran off.
Confessional: Scott
"Okay, maybe that was a shitty idea but I was just sick of carrying those dumb packs!" Scott said.
"Nearly there! Ah! Aw, c'mon... Ah! Ow! Ee! Ah! Wah!" Zoey yelped as she got hit by leeches.
"Ugh! There's too many leeches!" Scott said as he hid behind a rock to avoid the leeches.
"We need to form a strategy to get past!" Brick said as he joined him.
"What the hell are you guys saying!?" Courtney said as she joined them.
"Hey, Bickersons, less whining, more ouching." Chris said from the loudspeaker.
"Ouch!" Scott yelped as he got hit by a leech.
"Better." Chris said from the loudspeaker.
"Hey. So I was thinking of voting off Alejandro next. Thoughts?" Mal asked as he came.
"Yes!" Scott said.
"Absolutely." Courtney said.
"Yes sir!" Brick said.
Confessional: Mal
"Another piece falls into place. Once Alejandro's gone, I'll be one step closer to winning this game and to revenge." Mal smirked.
Cut to Mal running past Alejandro who was trying to remove a leech. "See you in the toilet, Al." Mal mocked as Alejandro screamed and tore the leech off him.
Confessional: Alejandro
"I'm coming for you, Mal!" Alejandro angrily said.
"Zoey! Here, here, let me." Mal said as he tore some leeches off Zoey.
"Thanks, Mike!" Zoey replied.
"I owed you one. And we're a team, remember? Now let's win this thing. Whoa!" Mal yelped as they ran off and saw a cliff with a zipline.
"Told you you were in for a real treat." Chris told Chef from the other side.
"This is it, maggots. The final obstacle. All you gotta do is get to where I'm standing, alive." Chef said with a megaphone.
"Ugh, how are we supposed to do that?" Mal asked.
"Hello? Backpacks?" Chris said as they took off some ziplines from the back.
"Ziplining. Of course." Zoey said.
"Didn't think you'd see me again, did you? Excellent. I grew up ziplining chasms three times this size. See you in the toilet, Mal!" Alejandro said as he ziplined off.
"Did he just say Mal?" Zoey asked.
"Oh no, ha ha, he said "pal". Handsome jerk. Let's go together. Our increased weight will make us faster." Mal said.
"You sound like Cam and Harold!" Zoey said as they ziplined off.
Confessional: Zoey
"Alejandro didn't say "pal". And thinking of Harold and Cameron made me think of the times when Harold doubted Mal and the photos of Cameron I found under his bed. I need to find Alejandro's DVD to get to the bottom of this." Zoey said.
Cut to Scott, Brick and Courtney came. "Looks like we'll need to use these to zipline across!" Brick said as he took off his pack.
"You didn't say we were gonna need our packs!" Scott angrily said.
"You ditched your pack?" Courtney angrily said.
"Told you there'd be a penalty, bro." Chris said from the megaphone.
Confessional: Scott
"Okay, so I had to hang from a rope by my hands. No big thing. Back on the farm, my cousins and I used to have contests to see who could hang off the laundry line the longest over a nest of fire ants. And I mostly won. Good times." Scott said.
"The race for last place begins as the race for first is about to end. Alejandro looks unbeatable! But wait!" Chris said from the megaphone.
"It doesn't look like we're gonna pass him!" Zoey said as they ziplined.
"Zoey, hold the line!" Mal said.
"Huh? Mike! What are you...?" Zoey said in shock as Mal jumped on Alejandro, slowing him down.
"Hey!" Alejandro angrily said.
"I'm not letting you win immunity! You're going home!" Mal said.
"N-Never!" Alejandro said before they both fell off as they screamed while Zoey crashed into the end.
"And Mike throws himself under the bus so that Zoey wins immunity!" Chef said from the megaphone.
"Way to go, Zoey!" Mal said in the water.
Confessional: Alejandro
"Mal does not belong in juvie. He belongs in jail. And so does anyone who tries to hurt my gorgeous face." Alejandro smirked.
"Whoa!" Brick and Gwen yelped as they crashed into the end.
"Bonus ouchies. You can count your bruises while I count the elimination votes tonight. Zoey's safe from the Flush of Shame, so who's going home, I wonder?" Chris said.
"Hello?! Little help here?" Scott said while holding on the line in the middle.
Cut to the elimination. "Congratulations, campers. This was the fastest voting process in Total Drama history. The votes are unanimous. Except for one particularly artistic entry." Chris said as he showed a picture of Mal with devil horns.
"I wish I had thought of doing something like that. Hm." Scott chuckled as Alejandro glared at him.
"But everyone else wants Alejandro to surf the porcelain wave machine." Chris said.
"Man." Alejandro sighed.
"Gee, what a shame. Not really. First, since Zoey won the challenge, she and a camper of her choice get to enjoy the spa along with yours truly and Brick." Chris said.
"Uh, I'd rather not." Brick said.
"You said what now?" Chris said.
"Sorry, sir, I just don't think I can take any more of trying to sleep while hearing your terrible singing while you're in the shower.
"Fine. Boney Island it is." Chris said.
"What!? Why?" Brick asked.
"Because I said so." Chris said.
"Is this because I insulted your singing?" Brick asked.
"Yes. So, Zoey, who you bringing?" Chris asked.
"Uh, I'd rather not bring anyone." Zoey said.
"What? What about me? I was the reason you won!" Mal said.
"Sorry Mike, but I just need some alone time." Zoey said.
Confessional: Mal
"Ugh, don't tell me she's getting suspicious." Mal sighed.
Confessional: Alejandro
"It seems that she has noticed the truth after all. Maybe she isn't as ferret brained as I thought." Alejandro said.
Cut to Alejandro in the Flush of Shame while Chris and Zoey saw him off. "This show just got one hundred percent less beautiful. But I'm not the real villain. A greater evil is lurking!" Alejandro said.
"Boring." Chris yawned as he flushed him.
"The truth is in the art! It's in the art!" Alejandro screamed as he was flushed.
"What did he mean about the art?" Zoey thought.
"What did he mean indeed? You'll just have to find out next time when the final five become the fortunate four. Right here on Total. Drama. All-Stars!" Chris said as the episode ended.
VOTES
Confessional: Brick
"Same reason as before." Brick said as he showed a crossed out picture of Alejandro.
Confessional: Zoey
"I'll vote him off since he's a big threat, but I need to figure out what's going on." Zoey said as she showed a crossed out picture of Alejandro.
Confessional: Alejandro
"He is truly evil." Alejandro said as he drew demon horns a picture of Mike.
Confessional: Mal
"Goodbye, loser." Mal smirked as he crossed out a picture of Alejandro.
Confessional: Scott
"Eh, I guess I'm voting him now. Twink made a good point." Scott shrugged as he crossed out a picture of Alejandro.
Confessional: Courtney
"Bye, Al!" Courtney smirked as she showed a crossed out picture of Alejandro.
BONUS CLIP
Alejandro's Bonus Clip
"Wha! Oof." Alejandro yelped as he was blasted from water in the Yukon before he saw Heather approaching with a motorbike wearing a coat and sighed in relief. She got off it and slapped him. "I missed you too." he said as she smiled as they got on the motorbike and drove off.
Merge: Brick, Courtney, Mal, Scott, Zoey
Eliminated Contestants:
6. Alejandro
7. Lightning
8. Gwen
9. Harold
MERGE
10. Duncan
11. Heather
12. Anne Maria
13. Owen
14. Jo
15. Cameron
16. Lindsay
I was busy yesterday so I couldn't post this :( Anyway, Al going was probably obvious. This episode was shit due to multiple problems (Alejandro being clowned on, Zoey being an idiot, the shit with Courtney kissing Cameron) I hope I improved all of these!
Next episode is the worst one in the series so uh... and then it's a pretty shit one that actually the best AS merge episode and then the second worst episode. Ugh.